Tuesday, September 05, 2006

True Wife Confessions 65 Degrees North

Confession #641

I hate my Husband. I hate that he doesn't give a shit about me or our son. I should have known by the way he acted towards his other son when I first met him. He didn't call him or try to see him. We have been married 2 years and I left him on our 2nd anniversary. He hasn't called to check on us or even sent money. When I do talk to him he is cold and unforgiving. I threw something at him.. He in return tried to choke me. I called the Cops, Now he cant forgive ME?!? FORGIVE ME?!? He said I tried to take his life away.. WHAT LIFE? He didn't hang around us when he was home.. Oh I know what life he is talking about.. The one where he plays video games and drinks with his buddies instead of staying home and spending time with his wife and son. That life. He is hiding something.. I cant put my finger on it. But he is pawning things for money, money that I never see and then lying to me about where the items were going.. The bills were not getting paid and the food was running out, but where was the money going.. There were 2 times in one month that he "lost" or "got stolen" Money. Big money too not just 20's. I hate him and I am glad we are apart. I secretly wish he would go to jail and I would never have to see him again.

Confession #642

I am not 10 years old. I am a grown adult. Quit telling me to get some sleep or to go to bed or anything even remotely like that. I will go to bed when I damn well want to. I like to stay up late, long after you are in bed because that is the only time I don't have any one wanting anything from me. It is the time when I get the alone time I so desperately need. I know that I am going to be tired in the morning but I am a big girl and can deal with it. Do you hear me complain that I am tired? Nope. You whine more about being tired than I do, so stuff it!

Confession #643

I love your family. They are the kindest people I have ever met and I feel I relate to them more than I do to my own parents. However, they are content to just BE. They never made an attempt to better themselves, to have more than what they have. Their financial situation blows my mind. How they can live the way they do stuns me sometimes. I realize your desire to help them out and give them things they cannot afford for themselves, but honestly-they've got a nicer TV, surround sound, and living room set than we do-and we paid for it. When I am scrounging through the change jar and checking under the couch cushions for change to buy milk...There is seriously something wrong with this picture. GROW UP AND STOP TRYING TO MAKE THEM LOVE YOU MORE. THEY LOVE YOU. They'd love you even if you didn't have a pot to piss in-which, right now, we don't...Thanks to you taking care of everyone else's responsibilities instead of your own.

Confession #644

I am not a wife, but I see what my sister is going through. He can be a nice guy, but has over time become selfish, immature, wildly irresponsible with money and totally distanced from his wife and little boy. She deserves better. So does my nephew. I look at their marriage and realize the best thing for thing for all of them would be divorce. But she is afraid to be on her own and he is too lazy. So, they all suffer and I don't know how to help, except to listen and comfort her as best I can.

Confession #645

You claim to like my parents. Yet every time they want to get together with us or have us over it is a HUGE inconvenience for you. And it isn't like they live 20 min from us and just drop in all the time like they do to my brother and his wife. They live 5 hours away! You get pissed when they are in town and want to take us out to dinner. You get pissed if I want us to spend more than 48 hours at their house. You get pissed when my dad offers to come over on the weekend and do all the home repair stuff that you never get to. (Just so you know, I suspect that you never get to it because I don't know how to do it. Which is fine, but for christsakes, we own a home, maintenance is part of the deal. WORK IT OUT!!!) My dad was willing to drive 5 HOURS EACH WAY to come over and bust his ass on our house. You couldn't be bothered because you didn't feel like "entertaining him" all weekend. I don't think he needs much entertaining when he is fixing the roof, the plumbing in the master bathroom, the wiring in the kitchen (by the way, 3 years of no overhead lights in the kitchen? OLD.) and repairing the stuff that the contractor fucked up on the remodel.

My parents think you hate them. I am starting to think they are right. And I don't know why you would. They have been nothing but kind to you. They have tried to get to know you . You just hold them at arms length. I don't know why. I am starting to not care. I love my family. You knew that before we got married. I am tired of sacrificing time with them for you, just because I don't care for them. Grow up.

Confession #646

I love you, but more and more I'm realizing that you're just a fuck-up. I've told you to quit drinking about a million times. I've told you what I want, what will make me happy. You act like you'll do things, like you understand... but you just keep fucking up. You make up stupid lies. Wonder why I don't want to have kids yet? Because I don't want them to have to live with an alcoholic dad like you did. You'd think you would've learned from the way he fucked up your family. I know marriage is supposed to be forever, but I have no problem leaving you if you don't straighten up... and you know this. I'm too smart for this crap. I deserve better than a white trash existence. I will get what I want. I'm not ashamed of divorce. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm going to make myself happy. I used to think that meant being with you, but you've been spending the past several months proving me wrong. You're running out of chances. I'll have no problem finding someone better. If not? I'll just go to a sperm bank and have kids on my own. I don't need you.

Confession #647

Two years ago today we were driving to my Dad's funeral and the hospital was calling because there was nothing else to do with my terminally ill (cancer) brother and they wanted to release him and wanted me to get a hospital bed at that moment. I was trying to figure out how to quit my new job and take care of him. After a 6 hour drive, we arrived at the hotel and there was no place to park and you made a huge scene because the Saints had taken up all the parking spaces and you kept using the n word. I begged you to get back in the car and act normal. I hated you so much in that moment because I was at the end of my mind and you were stepping on my fingers as I was hanging on. You have never apologized for your SELFISH childish alcoholic behavior. If you ever do the steps, I hope you will include an apology for that day. I am waiting for it.

Confession #648

I broke up today with the man I have been having an online affair with for the past five months. You can tell that I am sad about something, but don't know what it is. I wish that I could have the passion that I feel for him - the passion I have felt for him since I was 20 years old, but have never felt for you. You are an amazing father and honestly? The best husband a woman like me could ask for...You give me freedom to be who I am, pursue my career, indulge my whims, but have I ever been in love with you? No. I married you because he had broken my heart so badly that I never wanted to feel that again. I chose you. Someone dependable, someone safe - who would never get to my heart in the same way.

You are a good man, but I am not and have never been in love with you. Our marriage is built on intelligence and compatibility and our child. And when you tell me that you are committed to the concept of marriage, regardless of being committed to me? I wonder if you feel the same way.


Confession #649

I hate your whole family. I have tried to like them, but they seem to prefer your ex girlfriend and your first son over me-your WIFE and our son. I hate that they don't buy our son things-for Christmas for his birthday for any reason. Your first son gets sneakers clothes and toys every month from them. They have him every weekend, whereas WE can't even see him. They call him, they don't call to see how our son is doing, even if they know we were at the hospital for some reason. I hate your family, but I love you. I'm glad you didn't turn out like them.


Confession #650

You have no idea how much I loved you but I was 18, what did I know? You verbally abused me only 6 months into our relationship but it was 1973, I'd never even heard the words "verbal and emotional abuse." I thought I loved you enough to change you. How wrong I was. I stayed with you for 22 years because I was afraid of raising our 2 sons alone. But I finally made the break and divorced you and what did you do? You've punished me for the last 12 years for it. You've punished me because I make more money than you. In punishing me, you've hurt our sons immeasurably. You'll never know how much they despise the person that you've turned into. You've hurt our younger son more than the older one because your love still means something to him. But he's 19, he'll wise up one day and you won't even have him. You will die a lonely old man because your heart is cold. When I have called you begging for your help with our youngest, you told me "this is what you wanted, deal with it." You have put your own selfish hurt first. You've never once thought that I had a good reason to divorce your stupid selfish pessimistic abusive ass. Well guess what? Remember all those years after you re-married because you got her pregnant and she wisely divorced you after less than a year and she would throw your sorry ass in jail if you didn't pay her so you didn't pay me? Well, the attorney general's office will be notifying your cheap ass soon because I'm suing you for back child support. This is what I want, now you'll have to deal with it.

You think I despise you because of what went on in our marriage. It's been 12 years you idiot, I have put all that WAY behind me. The reason I despise you is because of the way you have treated our sons since our divorce. You put your own agenda first, which is getting me back for divorcing you. Our younger son's drug problem is all about you isn't it? All you think about is how much it hurts YOU that he has a drug problem. You don't think about the torment he goes through being an addict--something he didn't choose. (And stop already with the catty comments that he gets his addiction problem from MY side of the family. Thank God I got him away from you before he got the idea that verbally abusing women is OK.)

And our older son being gay is all about you too isn't it? All you think about is how ashamed you are to admit to people that you have a gay son. (And your inappropriate comments just show how ignorant you really are by the way.) You don't think about what he goes through living his life as a gay man in our society. He didn't choose to be gay, why would anyone do that? You don't think about the torment HE went through before he ever came out to you or anyone else. You are so cellulose, none this has even crossed that piece of shit you have for a mind.

Oh and one more thing. Thanks to your neglect of our sons for the last 12 years, I have had to be there for them financially, emotionally and physically almost completely on my own. Now that they are grown, I have a very strong bond and a wonderful relationship with them that I probably wouldn't have had if I had stayed married to the likes of you. That's been the best part of our divorce. You think I turned them against you. That just shows you how stupid you really are.

10 comments:

Denise said...

#641

Get OUT! Don't go back no matter what he says. The missing money? Drugs, sweetie. I lived it with my first husband. You and your son are not safe with him.

Anonymous said...

#642 -- my boyfriend (of 4 years) does the same thing. I love him to bits, but that drives me crazy. Don't tell me to go to bed! Everytime he says it, I end up staying up later. I'm always tired... but that's the way I've been my whole life. I'll survive. I don't complain about it. It's the curse of being born a night owl in a world that caters to early birds.

Anonymous said...

#646, I can't tell you how much I admire and respect you for your rationality. =)

Lori said...

#648 -- With the exception of actually having an affair (and also no kids yet), I know EXACTLY what you mean. Exactly.

TB said...

#641- You are better off. Move on no matter how hard it will be and don't look back.

#648 - I know how difficult that must have been for you, but I truly believe you were torturing yourself more by continuing a relationship that could never really materialize or provide you real joy. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

#642,

I HATE that. My husband is always telling me to get ready for bed like I'm a child. After everyone goes to bed is the only time it's quiet and peaceful, and I enjoy it immensely. I'm 31 years old and I will go to bed when I damn well please.

#650,

I'm so glad you got away from that idiot. I hope you take him for every red cent for the back child support.

Anonymous said...

The majority of you women are pathetic. I feel sorry for your husbands who probably have to put up with all your bullshit and then have you bitching about them behind their backs after they go out and work so you can stay home with your kids. Why don't you switch roles and see how wonderful they would be to deal with on the other side of the table.
And if you think that gives you the right to divorce them and take their kids away, boy do you have it wrong. I hope any judge you would run up against would grant them with the custody and not you. What a horrible role model you'd be for your kids to be stuck with, probably bashing their dads left and right infront of them even after they are gone.

You are a horrible example of what a wife should be and they would've been smarter men had they never married you. I would fear what would happen to you when you meet your maker after treating them like this for all these years.

Keep this in mind, I'm sure most of you have your faults and are real peaches to deal with some days. Remember you signed up for this, YOU PICKED HIM! If anyone is to blame it is you. Men don't change overnight into lazy bastards. They have this trait all along if they are. And you know they certainly don't go around posting nasty messages on a "True Husbands Confessions" blog.

Oh and by the way, how many single men out there would want you as sloppy seconds with kids after you leave your husbands... or I hope in their sake, leave you??? Get real.

None of you should've been married.

And for the women who actually thank their husbands on this site, make sure you tell them. Don't let them read any of the others posts and loose all faith in women.

Anonymous said...

I appologize for that last comment. I overreacted and shouldn't have snapped and judged people and situations I don't know. I'm sorry if I upset anyone or hurt anyone's feeling.

please disregard the last comment post.

Anonymous said...

Just curious, but....you are a man, right? I know you apologized but that was pretty harsh. And if you aren't a man then I hope your world is perfect and your man always acts perfect. And if he doesn't I am sure you are perfect in the way you deal with it, huh?

Anonymous said...

gee, that anonymous commenter sounds just like my ex--all up in my kool-aid one minute, apologizing all over himself the next...