Wednesday, April 29, 2009

True Wife Confessions 290 magnolia petals

Confession #2891

Dear Hubby,

I truly don’t understand why you are such a jerk to me every chance you get. I love you with all my heart and you totally treat me like dog shit every chance you get. You are going to find divorce papers one of these mornings and then ask me what you did. I have told you time and time again just to be nice. Act like you want to be married and the you love me. Really it’s not hard. Try it before it’s too late.

Your soon to be ex wife

Confession #2892

I have just rediscovered the joys of masturbation.

Confession #2893

I fear telling you that I don't want to be married to you anymore. I fear what you'll do. But you suck the life out of me everytime you walk into the room. This suffocation is starting to outweigh the fear.

Confession #2894

I'm so sick of you complaining how tired you are from work all day. All you do is sit on your @ss and look at a machine. The most you do is put a little bit of cement in a cylinder. I mean, if you were building houses or roofing like you used to, then I would understand. You fuss at me for making a comment like, "i'm so tired, glad night is finally here" and say I do nothing but sit at the house all day. HELLO! I take care of our daughter who has embraced the terrible twos, I clean the house, every day, every part of it, even the base boards, I keep all the clothes washed up, I make sure our two dogs are taken care of, I grocery shop, run errands, and have a hot dinner waiting for you when you get home. The one day, my birthday, I did take off, you complained that the house looked the same as it did when you left. Well, I have news for you, it takes more than you think just to keep it like that. We have a little girl that loves pulling stuff out and tearing stuff up. Also, you wanna say you're too tired for sex but I don't understand when the most you do is drive the hour to and from work. Most husbands would love to have a wife that cooked, cleaned, takes good care of their child(ren), and wants sex every day. Do you know how many husbands go weeks without it!? Then when we do finally have sex you expect me to do all the work. Just because I know how to ride you from behind, the side, and with me on top doesn't mean I should do all the work. Sometimes I'd like to just enjoy it. I have faked the last couple times because my legs were hurting to bad to get me off. I know it can't be because of how I look, i'm constantly getting hit on, and yes, even your friends have tried. Evidently, you've told them I was a nympho. So what if I am. You know how I was before we married. I told you this is me and i'm not changing for anyone. You are the one that said you still wanted to go through with it, that you love me for me; why are you trying to change me now! I do love you, its the only reason I have stayed here as long as I have. I stuck by your side when you were jobless for 6 months, when we were having to room with a friend, even through your depression when all you did was sleep. Now that you're working, you try to act like your doing some huge thing. Well, people work everyday, your not special because you have a job. Also, you try to act like no other man would put up with what you have. News flash hubby, other men have, and other men will. You are not irreplaceable and you need to realize that. Also, your not as cute as you think and you need to gain some weight. But do I tell you that all the time? No I don't because I care about your feelings. But I don't know why I do, you do seem to care about mine. You say you compliment me all the time, but you need to learn that a compliment doesn't have the word but in it. Saying "the house looks good but... or you look sexy but.." doesn't do me any good. And the sad thing is, that's what you say when you're being nice. I'd rather you just keep your mouth shut. I am getting so sick of your comments and put downs. I am tired of you belittling me all the time. I am not a bad person, I know I'm not. You made a comment saying, "why do you stay with me if all I do is hurt you?" it got me thinking, why do I? I guess its because I do love you. But, the love I have for you dies a little with each rude comment, and the bad attitude you always come home with. I am tired of being unappreciated and if you don't get your sh!t together and start being a loving husband, at least a little bit of one, than I will leave you. I know I told you I wouldn't unless you hit me, cheated on me, or got addicted to drugs but I am sick of saying, "yes, babe" "sorry babe" instead of saying what I feel. I quit saying what I feel because everytime I did, you made me feel like I was wrong for feeling like that, or that I was a bad person or that I was stupid. Check the records, your the one who can barely read and is a drop-out, I'm the one with a diploma, 36 hours of college and the one who will be running 2 businesses when my dad passes away. I hope you change and soon because if not, then I will leave you. You would have nothing if it wasn't for me, no house, no truck, no cell phone, so I better start getting some appreciation soon. The only reason I haven't left you yet is because a part of me still loves you and another part feels sorry for you. But both parts are dwindling from your hatred and negativity. Oh and I have been having an internet affair with a Russian guy for about 8 months now. He knows I am married and we rarely talk about sex and never talk about us having sex but he makes me feel some happiness. When he compliments me, he never adds a but. I'm not saying I would leave you for him, but I did find someone to bring some happiness into my life besides our daughter. If you ever do read this, I just hope I can see your face. Change your ways or I'm gone.

Confession #2895

Dear husband, we have been together a long while now, married for not so long. I married you while still being in love with the man I carried on an affair with for over 2 years. I will continue to be your wife and keep the balance as my lover put it...until the time is right. If it ever so should be right, that is. I tell him that I won't wait on him forever, but the truth is I can't do anything but wait. I love him so much and I think about him everyday. It is hard to balance my family and keeping up the sherade that I love you and only you, dear husband. Sure, I love you but not how you need or deserve to be. My tall, dark and handsome lover makes my heartbeat like no other man has or will I'm sure.
You let me go see him for one night, a couple weeks ago. Him and I have been talking alot since, daily, and you don't know. He has made a new email so that you won't know that it is him. You are so naive dear husband. You don't care who I talk to or what about as long as it isn't "him"! I can't believe you let me enjoy another night with the love of my life. You know I love him, and I know you do!! What you don't know is that the week before you 'let' me go see him, I snuck out and spent a couple hours with him. We kissed after a bit of small talk, as if no time had passed. Even though we hadn't seen each other for 4 months, when we kissed he was out of breath and said "yep, it's still there". Thats what you don't get, but at the same time I think you know....for him and I things don't change, doesn't matter who else is in our lives, what other problems him and I have in our lives, or how much time has passed since we seen each other last. When we are together it is about us, the passion, the comfortability, the love. We love each other and always have, and maybe one day if our situations are right- we will be together. Then I will finally be happy.
I dream nightly about being with him, I know it isn't going to be some fairytale with nothing but roses and only good times, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to spend my life as his girl. Im sorry for hurting you dear husband, the time hasn't come yet, and maybe it won't but I'm sorry now and I will be later too.

Confession #2896

After 22 years of marriage and being told over and over that I was too fat,and after dieting and exercising, that I was too thin.That I should do sit ups after my 3 pregnancies to lose all that awful flab.My breasts were too small from breastfeeding our children,and on and on.You know what? Maybe you should have just kept all those "helpful" suggestions to yourself! Because even the nicest person can snap,o yeah.You also said I was "too nice".WTF?
After that last disaster on Valentine's Day,when you came home drunk...AGAIN....and I sat thru the stupid drunken talk, with our children listening from the basement...AGAIN...I finally got it.It would never matter how many damn sit-ups I did,or how many times I cleaned the stupid house,or cooked a great meal,or sat and listened to your stupidness,that you would always be an ass.That you would always be dreadful in bed,( sorry,but that limp noodle between your legs?Yeah,kinda pathetic,I was just "too nice" to say anything),you would always suck at being any kind of decent father, and I am sick of being embarrassed when we go out with friends(which you don't have).
So,it was quite easy to finally say yes to another man.To be touched,and held,and to be told that I was "hot" and "sexy" was an amazing antidote to all the crap I had absorbed from you.When i finally told you,I felt such a relief knowing that I would be rid of you.To have my house peaceful again is fantastic.I hope you are suffering at your parents.I truly do.Your kids are happier that you are gone,even the dog doesn't miss you.Good luck finding a replacement for me,because none would ever take your crap.
And also? All those years of me finding ways to get you hard so we could have sex have apparently me a very talented lover,go figure.I pick and choose my men,and currently am comfortable with the two I have now.One for the raw, animalistic sex I love.And one who cooks incredible meals for me and spoils me rotten.And I will never,and I do mean NEVER allow any man to ever belittle or demean me ever again.My one regret is that I should have booted you out the first time you came home drunk and obnoxious,23 years ago.I regret having MY kids seeing what a marriage should never be.And yeah,they are truly mine, you were too busy getting pissed at the bar to make any effort with them.....and they know it.They find you just as annoying as I do.

Confession #2897

I absolutely believe you when you say you will go to any means necessary to keep our daughter away from me if I tried to get a divorce. That is the only reason I stay married to you. I have no love left for you. Our 4 yr anniversary is coming up and it really got me thinking. I can't believe your ex wife lasted 10 years. She deserves a medal.

Confession #2898

I wish I could go back, not make this mistake of marrying you. With all my being, every drop of my blood that’s what I want. Everyday you make me feel like a failure, I don’t cook right, clean right, take care of the baby, I don’t work. Once I used to be a smart person full of life and now I’m a dull boring housewife. I thought you were my true love now I hate you. I want you to suffer for the pain you cause me. for all these tears. I hate this life so much I wish I would die because I cannot escape this life and you otherwise. Tonight I stop crying and caring. I am done, I only hope that someday you feel the pain I feel.

Confession #2899

I hate that you constantly put me through this rollercoaster of emotions. You go from being fun to be around, to be a miserable, mean and rude man who does nothing but brings me down. YOU encouraged me to take a job I would you tell me you wish I would have stayed at my old job...just for the stupid reason that you liked the salary I made there more. YOU told me you supported by career change, and would relocate with me. Now YOU tell me you don't want to leave your job because you like your salary. I gave you the option of me or the money. YOU chose the money...and then you get rude to me because you don't understand why I am upset....I'm upset because my happiness is NOTHING to you.

My friends hate you. My parents hate you. I always have to stand-up for you and say your only mean and grumpy to me sometimes...I hate lying. You are only happy when things are going your way. Last Canada Day, you ruined the day for my friends because you were bored at the beach. You made comments towards my friends, you made insults towards me. You ruined the day....but you WANTED to come. I didn't tell you to come, you said you thought it would be fun. After you said if you knew it was going to be boring, you wouldn't have gone...and that gives you the right to ruin everyone elses day?

I hate how last year, when I came home from the emergency room after work (which you wouldnt go to because you didn't "want to miss time at work") and said I had a seizure and needed to go off work, your first comment was about "not having money now"...instead of something...anything about how I was feeling/what to do from here health wise

Most of all, I hate how I believe you everytime you say you are going to change. I hate how I care and worry about you more then myself. I hate how I have no confidence or self esteem to do what I need to do. How I get ready to tell you Im leaving, and then I see you and feel so bad for wanting to leave you. I hate that you have ruined me, and ripped out my soul so that I feel nothing anymore.

Confession #2900

you have never been the ultra affectionate, verbal or emotional partner that i am. i credit to your culture, as well as the fact that you didn't have parents around who told and showed you that they loved you. We have been together for 3 and a half years- rocky all the way. You were a cautionary tale when I met you, but i ignored everyone's warnings. Something about you I couldn't shake. The way I feel with you is different from that of any other man. And i am not too sure're not big into kissing, and rarely say you love me. But you're smart, confident, sexy, engaging and so charming when you put a little effort in. You are so sweet to animals ..which may sound silly but to me, that says a lot about a person. We compliment each other. I feel like w/ out you, i am not me. And vice versa. You quit your job and decided to move back to your home country. I of course freaked out--my bf of 2 years leaving me. So you decided for us, you would relocate w/ in the US. I am from NY--and we moved to old sunny TX for your new job. I swore up and down all my life that I am a NY girl, I will never live in the south. but i did it for you; for us. Just like you did..when we parted in the airport for what would be a 6 month time (minus a few visits) away from each other before i got down there, you told me you loved me, you were doing this so we would have a better life together. Every day i missed you like crazy, longed for our daily phone calls. Visiting you was like seeing you for the first time. And finally when i had all the preparations in order, i moved. Leaving my family, my mother in particular and the best friends I have ever had in my life was the hardest thing that I ever did. But as soon as I saw your face I knew it was worth it. So i got a job and we picked up right where we left off. I play the part of the little wife so well...i work all day. make you dinner, clean up, we relax a bit, then have great sex nearly every night. For a while we were the only people we really knew here, and we were inseperable. Then you started to hate your job, your boss, you were miserable. You tossed around the idea of a new job, a guy you met worked for this company but you werent sure. I encouraged you. Pushed you to take it. It was a a larger company, more room for growth, you'd meet new people. So you did it, and loved it. And made friends quite quickly. You started to go out on weekends. I was never invited along...all men, don't speak English is what you'd tell me. But you'd come home around 3 on Fridays then be home the rest of the weekend...but then you started to not come home, not answer your phone. You would be gone the entire weekend, then come home Sunday evenings, and act like i was the crazy one for questioning you. You told me you needed time--you felt like we were an old married couple. You ditched me on holidays..when i have NO family here. You made friends with a woman at your job and would actually take calls from her in our bedroom w/ the door shut. Hours at a time. But never speaking English, I could only piece together the gist on the conversation. I cried to you, pleaded, said we just need to start spending time together again, we can fix it. You told me you liked her, but it was nothing serious...and after about 5 months of this...i find out this is a full on affair you're having. I am in my 20''re about 9 years older than me..always saying you aren't ready for marriage and a kid, which is fine w. me bc i am in no rush. But i find out the woman you are seeing is nearly 40, with children, and you are off playing house on the weekends. You admit all of this to me, and tell me you have ended it, you want to fix us. And i agree, happily to try to work it out. You even said you'd get a new job. 2 weeks after you ended it, this insane woman calls my phone and tells me shes pregnant. At first you didn't believe her. then you did, and wanted to move out to go be with her bc you feel bad. Then you decide not to. She says shes gonna get an abortion, and when that doesn't shake you, she says shes having twins. mind you, this woman is nearly 40, and says she has an IUD. the odds of her accidentally having a baby are very slim. Yet she hasn't shown you any sort of test, and keeps giving reasons why she cant. Maybe she is having a baby, maybe she isn't. But you have made it clear that you didn't want to be with her. and i realize you don't want to be a dead beat dad. but i cant for the life of me understand what i did to make you stop loving me. That is what is killing me most. I am willing to try to work past this entire insane mess. I know my family and friends are gonna think i am criminally insane..just like Im sure people reading this now will. But why am i, the woman who up rooted her life, been 100% faithful, devoted and so loving, never ever denied you sex or any variation of, and has taken care and loved you so much for so long the one begging you to stay? Shouldn't you be begging me? Shouldn't you feel lucky to have someone love you so much? I feel so helpless and alone. It is the worst feeling I have ever ever felt. I wish there was something i could do to make you see that this woman is either not pregnant and lying to try to get you to come raise her other 2 kids, or she got pregnant on purpose...i cant actually believe a 40 yr old woman w/ an iud has a period 2 days late and goes to get a test..conveniently right after you break up with her, and every time you don't take her back the story gets more insane. I am either the un luckiest person in the world, who must have been a really evil person in my past life, or this woman is a nut. Either way, I just want you to realize what you are giving up if you get sucked into this big mess w/her. If shes having a baby, then be a dad--a great one. Id help anyway I could. but don't toss our relationship out like trash. You will never find someone who loves you like me. If you happen to read this, just know ...i know this will be hard, and we will be judged by people, but i do not care. Youre the man I love, who made a big big mistake, but dont add to it by leaving me to be with someone out of guilt.

Monday, April 20, 2009

True Wife Confessions 289 Design

Confession #2881

You want to have sex. I don't. I say I don't want to have sex and you still insist. I say again I don't want to. You insist again. If I try to ignore you, you poke at me until I give way. It doesn't matter to you that I don't want to. All that matters is that you get off. I offer a hand job, and you don't want that. And I realized last week - this is submission. You are bully and you will bully me in any way you can, even through sex. You have made our bed a battleground and I fucking hate you for it. I told my therapist as I cried and said I know. I know what it means, non consensual sex. And I hate myself too for going along with it.

Confession #2882

truly so love my husband. But i want to be with a guy who is a friend of mine. I feel like I am important when i am with my friend and he makes feel like he would go to the ends of the earth for me and my husband doesn't act that way at all. So instead of sleeping with him we sext back and forth as much as we can. I send him pics and tell him what i wanna do to him.

Confession #2883

You are the most amazing husband and father anyone could ever dream of. There are moments when I see you holding our son or bringing laundry up the basement stairs for me that I absolutely cannot believe this is my life. I thank God every day for giving me someone so wonderful to share my life with.

I just wish that your friends were more like you. I wish they didn't treat their wives and girlfriends like dirt and constantly berate you for not doing the same. I know you hardly go out with them any more, but any time you do I'm on edge. I just cannot understand how these are the people you chose to spend your time with. And I don't understand how you can be around people who outright insult you and your wife and talk about your son like he's the worst thing that ever happened to you. So you can't go out three nights a week anymore... they need to get over it! They're all married and half of them have pregnant wives. Why do they think that kind of behavior is acceptable? Why do they think it's okay to talk about women as though they're property or that they "need to be put in their place". It's disgusting. You are so incredible. Why do you associate yourself with the scum of the earth? If I hear one more comment from any of them, I swear I'm going to lose my mind. You need to get over it already. Just because you were friends with these people in high school doesn't mean you have to carry them into your adult life. Obviously, you have nothing in common with any of them anymore. Nothing. And they're constantly talking sh*t about you. I don't get it. Why would you even want to be around them yourself? Never mind the horrible things they have to say about me. Friends don't treat each other like that. It's time to move on.

I love you. I hate your "friends".

Confession #2884

I left my husband, now ex-husband, the first time with a post-it. I should have done that the second and third time. It would have saved me some time.

Confession #2885

after the stunt you pulled at Christmas, I have vowed not to waste anymore tears on you. I can't believe you spent what little money we had for Christmas on a tobacco pipe and pulled the rest out of the ATM and still won't tell me what you used it for. I wish I had the mental strength to divorce you. You will buy crap at the expense of a bill(s) not getting paid and complain to everyone how hard it is to support a family on one income. We could live just fine on what you make if you didn't piss so much of it away. I am working hard to finish my college education so I can pay off the credit card you racked up buying fishing stuff and beer ( and to have the financial safety net if I do leave you). I hope my son does not turn out like you, I rather die than see that. I am at conflict with my religious upbringing about sticking through it, I knew before we even got married that I was making a mistake... even your mother knows that you are lucky to have me. You thought I would take care of everything and carry you through life......the joke is on you

Confession #2886

We have been married for 11 years. I have followed your dreams,been supportive of all decisions you have made for us and completely taken care of you.Somewhere along the way I have lost who "I" am.We never go anywhere or do anything together,the only time we go out to dinner together is on our anniversary and we haven't even done that the past two years.You are lazy,and want the rich lifestyle but do not want to work for it.Some days you sleep till 3 or 4 in the afternoon,then get up and sit at your computer until 3;00 in the morning,and you are not doing any work on it.You expect me to do all the work,because of you we have lost our business,and our home.I've needed to go to the dentist for 8 months but cannot because I cannot afford it.So I go thru my day with pain.
I am done,I cannot take anymore.You are going to be hearing the words,"It's over" from me. I quit loving you long ago.I need to find my happiness

Confession #2887

I caught you the other day talking to some chic online and at first, you denied it but when you looked in my eyes, you knew that you were busted. I wanted to yell and scream for wasting my time and begging me to work our marriage out but I could not because that night your son decided he wanted to sleep with us. Therefore, I went to bed pissed off and in the morning, you were gone and I decided to go to the gym and work my stress off. I got back home and was still annoyed. Why was I annoyed, I have no clue. I took a shower and just as I was drying my hair, you walked in and wanted to talk. I was still on fire. I asked you to leave me alone but you continued to say you were sorry and that you never meant to hurt me. (Here’s what I have to say to that,”FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE ON.” It is over and I am gladJ) I walked out of the bathroom and you followed me. I asked you again, to leave me alone. You continue to talk shit. I grabbed my wet towel from the bed and as you turned to walk out the room, I swung it so hard across your face, it cut you.” I bet that shit hurts” you charged me and I, punched you right in your face. I punched and punched and you tried to push me away…it took my sister and brother-in-law to get me off you. Next time do not play with my emotions. Next time, when I tell you to leave me alone, you will comply. I needed to hit something and you were in my line of fire. I feel better now.

Confession #2888

I thought for sure when you got laid off you'd help me more with the baby. Boy, was I ever wrong about that.

Now that you're home every day, you sit and play video games constantly while I take care of the baby and the house. When I ask you to hold her for a few minutes so I can do something in another room, you get all huffy and act like you're doing me a favor. You go out with your friends without even so much as a "Hey, do you mind if I..." and get mad if I suggest that it's unfair that you get to take time for yourself whenever you want it and I never ever EVER do. As I type this, you're out having lunch with your friend, and last night you announced that you're going out to a sports bar tonight for drinks and a basketball game with friends. Which also means you'll be eating dinner out. While I sit at home with the baby. No checking with me first, no offering to bring me dinner, nothing. It's like you think you're entitled to live the same life you had before we had a baby.

This baby was YOUR idea. Did you forget? How you wanted a baby sooo bad? Can you not remember all the nights I dissolved into tears while I was pregnant, panicking about what having a baby would do to the career I was just starting to get together? How you told me not to worry, that you would take care of the baby whenever you were home so I could stay in grad school and keep my job? And look at me now: I've had to quit my job and drop out of school because you've been absolutely ZERO help. Somehow, everything I feared about motherhood has come true, but if I try to talk to you about it, you get mad at me for "making [you] feel like a jerk."

Guess what? You ARE a jerk. Just because taking care of a baby turned out to be harder than you expected doesn't mean you get to opt out. You don't get to leave all of this to me! I'm so angry I hardly know what to do with myself anymore. You're 37 goddamned years old! Act like a grownup!

I'm so exhausted. I don't know how this became my life. I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I never wanted kids at all. I made all these sacrifices to give you the life you always wanted, believing you'd do the same for me when apparently you had no intention of doing so. I don't want to divorce you; I just want you to do your fair share of the shit work, make it feel like this is a team effort like you told me it would be. I don't even know how to function in this role. I feel like you're turning me into the nagging wife I always swore I would never be. How did this happen? Where is the man I fell in love with, who wove beautiful stories about what our life would be like as a family? I know you know I'm miserable. Don't you even care?

Confession #2889

Sometimes I don't know what is keeping our marriage together aside from my stubborn streak. You don't please me in bed, have the sex drive of a 60 year old man, look at your stupid computer games more than at me, stress out way to much, and are so pessimistic it makes me sick. Do you know that there is a man out there who wants everything that you have? A man who would kill for a wife who wants sex all the time, who would adore two little girls like ours whole-heartedly, and who knows how to smile and laugh genuinely. That is the worst part about you...your glass-is-half-empty attitude. It is draining to be around you, the sunshine around me goes away, and you suck all the color out of my day with just a look. I feel bad that I can't make you happy enough, but I am starting to realize that it is not me lacking, but you.

Confession #2890

Dear Potential Other Woman,

You probably need to realize that there ARE definitely 2 sides to every story and if he’s saying I’m a major league bitch who’s mean to him, you have to think that maybe, just maybe there might be a reason why I’m mean to him.

Here are also a few things you might want to ponder:

If you have kids, don’t expect him to spend any time with them, take any interest in them, do anything with them or even spend more than 30 seconds having a superficial conversation with them. If he doesn’t do all the above things with his own kids, why would he do anything else with yours?

Don’t expect to go anywhere and do anything, unless it’s something he absolutely loves to do. He’s too miserly to spend the money, unless it’s something he wants and then, no limits. He doesn’t like doing things that bore him, hence the reason why he doesn’t spend any time with his kids. Plus, he goes to bed early every night so don’t get your hopes up to do anything past the witching hour, his sleep is more important than anything and he won’t stay up late for anyone.

Don’t expect to be a priority. These are his priorities: work, gym, everything else in his life, his family comes dead last. A co-worker will have higher priority than you do. Get used to it.

Don’t expect to have any say in the financial aspects of your life. He thinks that since he makes the money that he gets to make all the decisions. And, he’s sneaky, he’ll do things without checking with you and let you find out later. He’ll make huge, possibly horrible rash decisions without consulting you and doesn’t care what you think.

He makes plans to do things and won’t tell you about them. You’ll be expecting him home and he won’t be home hours after you expect him. You’ll think he’s dead somewhere but no, he just went out with the guys for a drink but didn’t think to call to tell you. He’ll make plans to travel somewhere and will tell you at the last minute or you’ll hear it from someone else. And, he’ll tell you that he thought he told you, if he even tries to cover up him not telling you.

He respects the opinions of the people he works with way more than you. Sucks, but true.

He’ll take days off and won’t tell you about it, as that way you can’t complain that he doesn’t ever take time off to spend it with you or your kids. In his mind, his days off are for HIM, not you, not his kids, not anyone else and by golly ,he’s going to do what he wants to do with his days off!

He spends the time he’s at home either on the computer or watching tv and taking naps on the couch. He’s the life of the party, isn’t he?

Don’t ever get sick, as he won’t even care that you’re sick, other than the fact that you can’t (or won’t) make dinner. He won’t bring you something to drink or eat, ask if you need anything, do anything remotely considered to be kind, as he just isn’t that kind of a guy. He isn’t compassionate and even if someone told him what to do, he wouldn’t do it, as he doesn’t want to do it.

You and your friends probably think that he’s so wonderful, the life of the party and the same guy you knew way back when. Deep inside, I do think that that guy is in there somewhere. But, the selfish, only doing what he wants to do guy is way more prevalent than the other great guy, as he’s gotten way more selfish as the years have gone on. He does what he wants to do, nothing more and it doesn’t matter if he hurts someone that he is supposed to love. Don’t expect affection, kind gestures, touching unless he wants sex, empathy or a person to take care of you when you are old/sick or anything, as he’s too selfish.

People always tell me what a nice, good-looking guy I’m married to and I am so tempted to let them know how nice he is but don’t want to be one of “those” people. It sucks that he fools so many people.

Monday, April 13, 2009

True Wife Confession 288 papparazzi zombies

Confession #2871

My hairdresser complained today because her man has back hair. You have hair all over your body, and I absolutely love it. I know -- that's kind of unusual for a woman, but geez -- it really turns me on. So don't even think about shaving or waxing it, Babe. It turns me on to no end!

Confession #2872

My husband is crazy! He's just crazy in the head. How do you possibly have an argument out of the blue over something that is in the past. Get over it dude, it was stupid the first time we bickered about it, it's stupid this time too. And stop throwing the fact that i'm on antidepressents at me. I'm on them so i can deal with you, you dipshit. Now when you say something stupid it just rolls off my back, i dont freak out about it. You need to be thanking my doctor for those meds, they allow me to continue being married to your dumbass. And another thing, dont act all happy with me all night, the next the morning, all during our phone conversations and then email something shitty because you just remembered i pissed you off the early the night before. Do you just need things to bitch about so you search your memory and come up with some shit? Besides, when you email me those stupid, hateful emails, i forward them to my friends so they too, know how fucking unstable and crazy you are. Your the one who needs antidepressents. Although they wont cure being an asshole.

Confession #2873

I love you and would never want anyone else for my husband. But by God I wish you were more successful. You are a hard worker and I love that about you. But right now I am full of resentment at just how much we are struggling. Your decision to start your own business rocked our marriage years ago. I stayed by your side, supported you and worked with you. Now that is turning out to be a bust, not because of you but because of the economy. You keep talking about changing careers. And yet you're sitting right next to me playing your G*d D*mned video game instead of getting your resume together. In the meantime, you jumped down my throat the other day for wanting to get a cake mix. Something less than four dollars. I love you, but F*CK YOU for that.

Confession #2874

You took me out for lunch. You kissed me in the car - and we ended up having sex in the back seat - in the middle of the day! Our 40's are better than our teen age years.

Confession #2875

You are bipolar. You don't take your meds. You abuse our kids. You say you hear voices. Guess what. I don't care how miserable you are on the meds. It's better than you choking our son because he's disrespectful to you. And you wonder why I'm pissed that CPS is making yet another visit? (Maybe because I TOLD YOU this was going to be the consequence if you kept acting out your rage?!) You wonder why I'm drawing a line in the sand and telling you that this is it - if you don't comply with treatment, you are GONE? What don't you get?'s all my fault because I don't fuck you every day. Dude, even if that weren't just they hypersexuality caused by the untreated bipolar, I have no desire to sleep with someone who tells his kids to fuck off and can't be bothered with being a good parent. Grow up. Be an adult and take responsibility for your illness. And if you can't, then leave. The manipulation and enabling ends today.

Confession #2876

Here I am again, dying inside. Everyday I clean the house for guests we'll never have. I work out to obsession for eyes that will never see. I convince myself I do it for my husband. They are all distractions from the emptiness within. I hide my feelings from my loving husband. I put myself in another situation where heartbreak is inevitable. I wanted him to be my lover so badly and now he is pulling away. He'll be gone soon and I can go back to my lonely situation. Everything hurts. My hand flies to my chest trying to stop my heart from fleeing. He awoke feelings I had forgotten existed and now it is over before it began. I sang in the shower, danced around the house, and applied myself with zeal to my "chores". Now he is so far away... I want to want what I have! I never go without but I'm a selfish bitch. Always desiring more. Poor husband, he must know his wife is a terrible woman. Always on the lookout. Flaunting her tiny self to the world, finding pleasure and pain aside from her wifely duties. I haven't a job a car or a penny to my name. My husband is my identity. I feel so lost, alone, and dead. The man I love doesn't want me. My mother told me that "the one you love and the one who loves you are always different people". I thought it was silly until I married. I hate me. I am a husk of a woman.

Confession #2877

If you hadn't agreed to have a baby, I would have left you. I had started planning how and when to go when you changed your mind.

Confession #2878

We have been married almost 7yrs now and I want to run so fast and never look back. I honestly am not in love with you. I feel pity for you and I feel sorry for you but I am not in love with you. I stay in this marriage because I do not want to hurt my kids. I am lonely, depressed, bored, tired of your laziness and I want to run as fast as I can. You are a sweet man but you do not move me, you do not motivate me, you do not make me laugh and you do not communicate with me. You barely pay attention to your son and I have to Bitch and complain to get you to help me clean our house. I have to work two jobs, take care of kids, pay bills, clean house, remember to schedule doctors appointment and sign the kids up for sports and you just work and come home and occasionally cook and wash clothes but most of the time you’re watching T.V all dam day. Then when you see me getting annoyed and giving you the cold shoulder, you want to do something that is so dam boring. I ask you to invite all of our friends to go out to eat dinner with us for our anniversary and you tell me, you just want us. Well I am tired of being with just you….YOUR BORING and have nothing to say to me. Therefore, I guess we will go to dinner and just look at each other. UGHHHHHHHHH, I just want to run as fast as I can. When did you become so complacent and why?

Confession #2879

You are a fantastic husband and father, but I wish you would brush your teeth before coming to bed.

Confession #2880

I can't take it anymore! I despise you when you're drinking. Which is every day, lately.

I decided long ago that I need to divorce you. I don't really believe in divorce, but it seems the only option. You cause me so much stress, worry, anger, frustration, sadness, depression, and misery. I really can't take any more.

I have been trying to work out the details as far as our apartment... moving... the effects on the children... and many financial issues. But as soon as I do... I am out of here.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Bloggy Love

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Monday, April 06, 2009

True Wife Confessions 287 closed tickets

Confession #2861

You have such a mean streak sometimes. When I made a mistake on the plane reservations that is going to cost me $500 to change, you just laughed and said it's no big deal. Oh, really? $500 means nothing to you? Perhaps, but it's a HUGE deal to me. So there I was, all stressed out about it, and you were ready to light up a cigarette in the car. You KNOW I quit smoking just 2 weeks ago. Have you no consideration whatsoever? Sometimes you're such a mean, self-involved prick I forget why I love you.

Confession #2862

I just don't get it. I am the envy of all my friends. You are a stellar father. You are a supportive husband. You are compassionate. You are kind. But, in our intimate lives, you are also so damn juvenile. You make embarrassing lewd comments in front of our daughter. You paw at me like a drunken frat boy. I can be so amazingly in love with you and want to be intimate with you. Then, the damn pawing and stupid comments. You think it's flattering. I think it's crap. For goodness sake, I can be totally in the mood, ready to jump right in - and then - you have to make some stupid comment. The fact that my sex drive is less than yours, you'd think that if I initiated at all, you'd be grateful and appreciative that I was starting it up and just let it roll. I have told you that your incessant comments make me uncomfortable. That I am less likely to act on them. And, then, last night. I actually started it up, and your breath was funky. You wanted to kiss me and I could not hang. Your breath stinks a lot lately, and I can't summon the nerve to tell you. I avoid kissing you passionately unless you have just brushed.

Confession #2863

I don't miss you. When I left I thought I'd be scared and sad, dying because I couldn't live without you. Turns out I was wrong. I'm doing great. Leaving you was the best thing I ever did. Turns out I stopped loving you long ago, I just didnt' realize it. I should have left you last year when I tried.

Confession #2864

You know what? I have yet to have an orgasm during sex with you. We've been together over a year and I've faked it very well every single time we've seen each other. But it has never happened. Slow down already. I've reached orgasm with other men plenty of times. You just rush me too much. Slow down. I love you madly but the pressure you put on me to come quickly is just too much.

Confession #2865

dear soon to be ex husband,

today its been exactly 4 years and 5 months since we got married.....its been 3 years and 7 months since our oldest daughter was born......3 years and 6 months since the first time you cheated on me........its been 18 months since our son was born........and 16 months since the second time you cheated on me........its been 24 weeks 5 days since our 3rd baby was conceived out of oops more than anything but she is still loved non the less.......its been 11 weeks since you told me about this last time you cheated.......and 9 weeks since you told me you were "in love" with her even though you had only known her those 2 weeks........and since you told me you would be leaving me and the kids for her........its been 7 weeks since you've left for Iraq and its been 4 weeks since finding out that you cheated A LOT MORE than i knew about and that even though we cant even file for divorce yet you have already asked her to marry you. Our daughter asks about you every single day.....she knows your working and cant be home she misses you and talks about you like you are the worlds most wonderful breaks my heart to know that the way she looks at you will have to change when she finds out why you wont be coming home to us when you return from the war. it tears me apart inside to know that even my best attempts to keep this marriage together were not good enough. its only been about a week since i truly excepted that you wont be coming home to me and about 3 days since realizing I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN! Im actually thankful in a way for all of this because now i know that THIS IS HOW I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME EVER AGAIN. this is something i will NEVER tolerate again. have fun living your pathetic moving on i refuse to let you hurt me anymore!!!

Confession #2866

I have been accused of planning to do something I have absolutely no thoughts or intentions of doing. Clearly, he does not trust me, and I have never done anything to cause that. Without trust, how can there be a relationship? No need to answer that. I already know.

Confession #2867

Well, probation is over, all the testing and therapy is finished. Now we start where we left off. I am still mad at you for bringing this on us, but I am moving forward. I don't hate you anymore, and we laugh alot easier now. I am sharing more of my day to day with you, I guess this means I am trusting you some. That's big. I am happy about this. Time does heal, as the saying goes. Please don't' mess up again, because I have to go if you do. I can't feel that way again. I love you. And I am almost ready to tell you, too.
Love me

Confession #2868

I used to love you. Somewhere in me I still do. But now, I am just broken. I went through loveless hell as a child, but was always bolstered by the thought of having my own real, loving family one day. I had hope. You took that away. That was the piece of me that I ability to still love, to want to be loved, to not be cold, to STILL FEEL HUMAN, after everything. And you took that from me. Now, you finally, after 7 years, feel like you love me. Its too late. Its too late, because I am finally so numb and dead inside that I can't love or be loved anymore. And you blame me. You alone didn't do this, but you delivered the death blow to the smidgen of hope I clung to. I hate you for it. I hate you even more for blaming me.

Confession #2869

I confess; you are sometimes a tyrant and that keeps me from being interested in living with you. Yes, we talk about it, but until you are able to be less controlling, it will never happen. Regardless of what you might think. Get over yourself already and give me equal say in the relationship. Then we'll have a chance of making progress.

Confession #2870

I wish you would get off your ass and stop playing video games, ask me how my day was, take out the trash without sneaking a cigarette, notice when I'm down, and put your dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor right next to it. But most of all I wish we didn't argue over every single little god damn thing!

You say I overreact, but lets see how you overreact when I leave your ass.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

All the fun with none of the penicillin needed

Desperately is up for Best Humor Blog - Go and vote - Spread the STD free love!

Friday, April 03, 2009

Stealing is not cool

A long time ago, when the blog world was young, a girl had an idea for a blog.

The girl decided to sit down one Sunday afternoon and create this blog. She then sent out emails to her blog friends to say "Hey, get a load of this idea...". The blog friends seemed excited and supportive. The girl was pleased, for she enjoyed making others happy with her ideas.

As things like this tend to go, the internet decided that this idea had some kind of merit. That this blog seemed to touch some kind of general truth in the world. The girl was pleased. The girl was flattered. The girl was a bit overwhelmed.

Within four months, the blog had grown exponentially and the notice was growing too. People with important sounding titles called the girl and asked for her content. These people said they were fans of her blog and wanted to put it on a bigger, better known uber blog. The girl, while flattered and a little bit awed, held back. She didn't want to give away her baby and the person with the impressive title wanted her to give it away for free. When it became apparent that the girl and her blog weren't so impressed with the important name of the publication and title as to let someone else absorb her blog, the negotiations stopped and the offer was dropped. The girl saved all these emails detailing how the person was a fan of her blog.

The girl fell into one of her depressions and withdrew into herself. She fell out of touch with the bloggy world in many ways. The Blog(s) she created survived and thrived despite her own condition. She crawled out of her funk long enough to attend a party and meeting of other bloggers like her in the summer of her following year. She woke one morning to find that there was a door hanger on her hotel room. Promoting a Blog with a name very very similar - all but one word similar - to the name of her own blog. She was angry. She was confused and she was hurt.

She got onto the email and wrote a pointed email to the address listed on the door hanger. Within minutes there was a response. It was from the same person from the big name publication who had claimed to be such a fan merely eight months prior. Who further claimed in a print interview to thinking up the idea and name all on her own. Phone calls were made. Angry words exchanged. The girl asserted that her idea had clearly been stolen. The other person disagreed.
The girl hung up on her.

The girl then withdrew into the hotel room for the remainder of the meeting. She was very, very hurt. Old blog friends divided into camps - those who saw the girls point of view that her core idea had been lifted and duplicated and those who did not. The girl withdrew from the blog world even more.

The girl considered legal action. Considered it hard. But she lived in a different country ... and she just didn't have enough money to sustain it. She was back in school full time, after all.

The girl tried hard to keep her playgirl mouth shut. She tried very, very hard.And she did, for a long time. Her blog continued and grew. She continued to receive attention and kudos. She refused any further offers by any entity for any piece of her blog(s) - no matter who. She refused offers to turn her blog into television shows or movie scripts. She protected her blog(s).

She tried hard to forget about the other person and the patently derivative blog. Usually she succeeded. Until an old blog friend, one who had been at that party and seen the situation unfold, an old blog friend who had been unfailing in her support for the girl sent the girl an email announcing the launch of a book by the other person. The friend told the girl "I sent an email saying fuck you and the idea you stole and take me off of your fucking mailing list." Which made the girl smile. Because in any world, day to day or internet, a friend who does that on your behalf is priceless indeed.

And then the girl decided to write this all down as a cautionary tale for the internet. With a reminder that stealing is not cool. No matter how you try to pretend the idea is yours.

The girl still believes that the karma of the internet and larger world will sort this out. Naive perhaps, but the girl has to believe.