Monday, March 31, 2008

True Wife Confession 244 Bad Cat

Confession #2431

I love you. I really do want to have a life with you, or should I say
continue having one.

But I will never entirely trust someone, not completely. Not with
everything. Not even you.

Sad isn't it? I think that old saying is right, the ONLY person we
can count on is ourselves.

I will make sure that I can always leave and have a place to go should
I ever need to.

But I do love you.

I want us to work and I want to continue being your wife.

Confession #2432

My Dear Husband,

I don't understand why it is we have to pay your ex child support, for a child that is living in our home. Yes, she may be having a hard time and need the money, but your son came to live with us quite some time ago. Why can't we switch the order. I don't even care if she pays us support or not. It is just ridiculous we have to pay her support for a child that lives with us. We work hard and just because she chooses not to work does not mean we should have to pay her bills. She is your ex and therefore, you should not be paying her expenses, you have not been with this woman for over ten years. I know I may seem a little cold hearted but it makes no sense at all to me, to contusing in paying her this child support.

Confession #2433

I am #2005, written in August shortly after he and I broke up. It is now almost April and there have been some big changes.

Your ex-wife/ girlfriend has been checking my myspace page constantly when she knows we see each other. I do find it amusing that she has no clue how often you call to chat with me though. I'm sure if she did it would be yet another fight between the two of you.

Two days after Christmas, when she told you that she is fine with us being friends, she checked it 15 times in less than 20 minutes! I know it was her because shortly after I started getting a ton of hits on my page I installed two trackers on my myspace homepage. It lists the ISP address, town, internet provider, etc. SOOO guess what company shows up? The one she works for.

I sent you an address change card thing in the mail, sent to your parents house. I didn't have her address so I didn't think it would be a big deal. Jealous woman went into your email account and got my email from it. She sent me an email that contained a total lie as to how long you have been living back with her. I guess she thinks that I really am totally stupid. Gee if you moved back in with her over 6 months ago, why when we went to the football game in November, your mom and I went to see Garth's concert at the movies, Christmas, you were still living at home?

I have a feeling that you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop with her..and I pray it is soon. I wonder if she is cheating again since you are working 2 jobs to pay her bills. I have to say that I would be surprised if she wasn't. I just hope that if she is you find out sooner than later. I have not been sitting around waiting for you, but dating other guys has made me realize just how much we are "THE ONE" for each other. I would never do anything to break the two of you up, and I find it amusing that she thinks I would. Insecurity in a relationship is not a good thing.

I wish you knew how much your oldest daughter hates the fact that you and she are back together and how wrong she thinks that the two of you living together without being married is. But she won't say anything because she doesn't want her mother to hate her.

Gah, I wish I had started dating you right after we started talking, maybe that would have made a difference in July.

I am dating a guy now who is nice, but he picks on my weight, avoids my children, etc. because he says that he doesn't want to become a presence and then disappear when his school load gets too hectic. I understand that, but honestly, I don't want things to be more serious with him.


Confession #2434

To my husband!

Where Should I start? How 'bout with your moodyness! I'm sick and tired of you coming home and ignoring me. A kiss would be nice every once in awhile! You walk in the door and act like you had the hardest day. WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm taking care of our house and our 2 small children. I leave you alone with them for 2 hrs and I come home to a MESS!!! Would it kill you to get off your lazy butt and help out every once in awhile? You put your friends before me and I hate it! You leave me alone to go stay at your friends house. Well guess what.... I wasnt alone some of those times. Thats right! I cheated on you! oh and get this...he was 4 doors down! I didnt think twice about it either. Not to mention when I told you I was going shopping, I actually met with him. We met at a hotel and had sex. GOOD SEX! then I came homw to you! What do you think about that one? What does that say huh? You say you love me but I dont believe you some of those times. You act like you have things so hard. Truth is though, your losing me! Ive thought about leaving you a thousand times. Ive saved money in a private account for when that time comes. I bet my account holds more than yours! If I leave....I'm wiping the savings account out. That will be enough to get me by for awhile. I DONT need you. I went out with my girlfriends a few weeks ago and I know for a fact I can get any guy I want...single OR married! One of these days your gonna walk in the door and find NOTHING!



Confession #2435

Mr Confession #2430

My Sub-Par Life...... your Sub par life … I dated you for 5 years … I can’t believe I hung on that long and to be wed to a man who cannot please me .. I was somewhat prudish at first but you had such a hard time with the fact that I couldn't bear the thought of a penis in my mouth … It didn’t take long after our honeymoon to realize that the sex was borderline and that I would have to make do.. I have been having an affair since our anniversary with a guy I met at the grocery store remember that night when I was with the girls..and I was a little late.. Maybe if you paid attention to my needs and forgot about yourself for once you would get a bit more. He is a passionate lover that gives me the attention I need not to mention multiple orgasms…He has a huge member.. we actually tried the first time but couldn’t because it was too painful but have since been able to enjoy most of it.. … I know you work a lot but so does he … and , he knows how to prioritize… maybe you might realize after this that we are a lot worse off than YOU think…



Love your Sub par wife



Confession #2436

I need help finding my sex drive. I seem to have lost it. Maybe
someone else picked it up and is enjoying it.

Confession #2437

My husband has been sleeping in the guest room because of his slipped
disc. I miss him, but I really like having the bed all to myself.

Confession #2438

I am more pissed off about the fact that you told me you cheated on me than the fact of you cheating in the first place. I am particularly annoyed that you felt the need to share so many details with me. Now you have it all off your chest, while I'm stuck with all kinds of unpleasant images and doubts in my head. Just because you don't remember most of what you say once it leaves your mouth doesn't mean I don't. Next time just find a confessions web site or, better yet, a confessional.

Confession #2439

Not-Above-and-beyond. You said the job I do as a housewife is what every house wife does



Did you know in the 10+years we have been together that is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to me and that just thinking about it today made me cry all over again?



You know how things just reverberate in your head sometimes? How sometimes things just hang on for years? I have a feeling this is one of those.



I wish to god I could think of some insult that would cut you as deeply as that one did me.

Confession #2440

To my POS husband….



I’m not stupid, I know it’s cum all over the toilet in the morning. I also saw it on the computer screen and all your dirty underwear. If you weren’t such a numb nuts I would be attracted to you and we would be having sex. When you walk around with your pimply, cottage cheese, hairy ass hanging out of your pants that are a couple sizes too small and give you dunlap, it is a turnoff. When you don’t groom yourself and you have all kinds of bug legs in your neck, dirty fingernails and yuck mouth it makes me not want to be in the same room with you, much less kiss you! And the way you treat me is horrible! You’re so lazy that you do nothing and lie about everything. You promise to take out the trash, pickup your mess in the yard, clean up your closet, take the nasty used lunch bowls out of our car. But none of it gets done! I am tired of your temper and your tantrums. I want out but I have no where to go! I would much rather sit here raising my kids, spending your money and avoiding you then uproot myself and kids without a stable place to take them!

Monday, March 24, 2008

True Wife Confessions 243 Ida

Confession #2421

Hi Honey ~

Just wanted to tell you .. I am loving this 'futon time' thing we have going on. You spooning me on it is so great. And if it leads to love-making .. all the better .. but even if it doesn't, I just love being that close to you and catnapping a little or just zoning out ... so relaxing and so comforting. Thank you for thinking of it !!

Confession #2422

To my husband-

We have had a significant amount of problems from day 1. Granted that without them, we would not be together now, but is this what I want? We've been married for 18 months and this is how I feel.

I often wonder what my life would be like had i chosen the other person. We were quite close, but my immature need to keep up appearances (you understand what I mean.) pushed me a bit more to you. He was amazing and treated me so nicely. I became pregnant in the midst of this lapse of any judgement and a few months later I was forced into this marriage with you for religious reasons. I couldnt tell my family or yours that my personal beliefs were a bit different. I know that we've struggled alot, financially, emotionally and a few times physically. You could not forgive me for the outcome of the paternity test. This was my punishment for entangling myself with two people in college. The test told me I married the wrong person. After this, you were horrible to me. You were abusive, both ways. You constantly dangled me on this string. We never had a chance to get over it, bc as things seemed to turn up, you invovled yourself with my underage cousin. That night I walked into my living room and realized you had been taking advantage of nanny status- a huge part of me died. And it has not grown back after nearly a year. Did you think something would possibly come out of it? You sicken me. Bc of you, I am no longer able to communicate with that side of my family. Her family does not understand. Because of course, they do not know. Youd be in jail dont you think? Bc of you, I cannot sleep anymore, any amount of extra stress causes me to completely buckle, and I find myself having panic attacks. This is why I do not want to be physical with you. This is why I am no longer close to you. This is why I dont laugh anymore. Play anymore. Enjoy life anymore. You violated our marriage.

I cannot stand your superficial family. Your temper. Your impatience. Your laziness. Your drinking problem. Your secrets.

I do NOT trust you. I am NOT in love with you, and I do not like you. But i do NOT believe in divorce. Im afraid to follow my mothers steps and Im afraid to be a single mother like she was. I am afraid of having to start over. Im afraid of the problems i will have with another man. Will he do the same? What will i do when my child asks about you?
I married you too young and I should have never trusted you.

Your silently suffering wife.

Confession #2423

I read your blog today. It is amazing to see the comments you make and how much you love me. It is amazing how you obviously love me so much and yet you try to control me and your actions indicate that you deliberately try to upset me. I see pure love in your words, I want to you to express that physically. I want you to share that with ME. You are amazing when you are like that, I want to know it and feel it, no insecurities. We have been married for 10 years, show me that you are confident in our love.

Confession #2424

This morning, when you told me to shut up and quit bossing you around, I let you think I was offended.
In truth, I was trying desperately not to laugh because it just struck me as so funny. And moreover, it was
a statement that I needed to hear! After all this time, you still know how to keep me in check. Of course, I will
continue to run my mouth and boss you around. I know you wouldnt have it any other way.

Confession #2425

Dear Husband- I wish,

I wish you would want to marry me. I keep waiting, and you don't ask. You say someday, but don't want to give a date so you don't let me down again. Waiting for you makes me cry, but thinking about life without you- I can't even imagine. So what now? Do I keep waiting? We've only been dating a year and a half, I know we're "young" according to you. But I love you, and I feel like I'm starting to put my life on hold till we get married because I don't want to lose you. Do you want me to go and live? Maybe then when I'm done with my living, I'll come back to you and you'll want to marry me then. Or maybe not.

Sincerely,

Your girlfriend,


Confession #2426

We have been together for four years and I have some issues with you that I have told you about as gently as possible. Here they are point blank.

1. You are quite pessimistic about a lot of things. That pessimism often translates into making me feel like an idiot for being optimistic. I really hate that.
2. You nag, a lot. Once you decide I need to do something, you badger me about it until I either do it just to appease you or snap at you to leave me alone about it.
3. Snapping at you then hurts your feelings. And those feelings... oh my God. Could you be anymore sensitive about every little thing I say?? For Christ sake, if I don’t put enough feeling into “I love you” you practically start crying.
4. You drive me insane about money. We have decent jobs, we pay our bills. We may not be rolling in freaking dough, but we are fine. If I want to go out and buy myself a new purse or shoes, I don’t want to have to worry about you being mad at me. It is my money too! Just because you don’t care about cute clothes doesn’t mean I shouldn’t either!
5. You have the worst breath of anyone I have ever kissed. You have a great body and are very sexy, but I have no desire to kiss you when I have to inhale that funk. It is really hard to get in the mood when you are breathing that on me.



Ok, now I must say that you have really tried the whole time to treat me well and make me happy. The issues listed above have hindered those efforts significantly, but I share the blame for not speaking up about it sooner or with more insistence.



Just as my unhappiness was reaching a climax, I met a guy at school. I became very smitten with him. I would never, ever cheat, but I couldn’t help myself from being a little shy and giggly around him. I thought, “Am I with the wrong person? Maybe this is ‘the one’.” Then, I found out he was gay. Guess he isn’t “the one”.



That little moment of flirtation made me realize that I needed to let you know that we really needed to start working on our problems. I am not willing to throw away the last four years. I need you to talk to me about the issues you have with me and we will start working on them together. It is a two way street and I know I am not the only one with gripes. Can we please just work on this together? I know you have been trying since I told you about my issues, but give me a little feedback too. I don’t want you to be the only one to make sacrifices. I want you to know I am willing to make changes too.

Confession #2427

I am so relieved when you go out with your friends. A few hours with you out of the house and away from me is such a blessing.

Confession #2428

I didn't believe that a person like you existed. I never believed that there was a soul mate out there, or a man who was in love with me the way I love you. But when we are laying in bed, and I say some strange thing and you know EXACTLY what I am talking about and we start to giggle at the fact that we both know what we are talking about. Those are the milliseconds that my soul opens up to you and I absorb you into me. I am amazed by you, my love.

Confession #2429

"Am i stupid?"
This is what i ask my self everyday now for the past three years. we have been together for seven years...and still no ring.
the funny part is that you have taken me to pick out rings on many occasions, and we actually decided on one, i got so excite, i just knew that we would be getting engaged soon...that was six months ago! don't you know that taking a woman to pick out an engagement ring and not getting it is like taking a child to pick out a bike only to tell them that they can't have it!

Other women tell me I'm stupid for sticking around for so long with out a engagement. but i tell them that we talk about marriage often, and how you really want to marry me, and that you will do it real soon. well sweetie i am getting tired of defending you and this relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I love with everything i have to love with but i am getting fed up!!!! i want a ring dammit, and i want one now. i deserve it, i have been as good as gold to you and you know it, i have never cheated, i cook i clean and i work two jobs to help put food on our table. i have been with you through thick and then, i am a damn good woman. and you say that you know i am a good woman and that you love me, well what's the hold up. I know you said that you have a plan, but what kind of a plan?

I don't want to sound bitchy but like i said i have been waiting for seven years, i met you right after my twentieth birthday, and you were twenty-one, we are now twenty-eight and twenty-nine. it's time sweetie. i really want to be your wife, i just don't want to wait another seven years.

Confession #2430

My Sub-Par Life.....

I am writing here because I have been on other confession sites where men confess but there does not seem to be much traffic there, and I am hoping to get some kind of feedback, good or bad on my confession I hope that you post this on TWC...

I know that I am not by any means the perfect husband. I know that sometimes, I speak before I think and the words that come out can be hurtful. I know that at times I put my needs or more likely my wants ahead of yours. In spite of these things, I believe that we both deserve better than what is going on in our lives now.

I fell in love with you the first time that I saw you. On that first day I knew that you would be my wife. We dated for 5 wonderful years and were engaged for 9 months. Throughout our courtship we had a blast. You told me on one of our first dates that you were a virgin and that you wanted to save yourself for marriage. I was so in love with you that I told you I thought that was very commendable (which I still believe). After you told me that I never once asked or pressured you to have sex with me, I very much respected the decision that you made. I gave you my entire heart and you did the same.

We had a storybook wedding just over three years ago. We traveled the world for a month on our honeymoon, and that is where the troubles began. Knowing that you were a virgin, and that we did not do much of anything in the realm of sex before we were married, I knew that it may take a while for us to find our groove. I was ok with that because I figured that we have a lifetime to figure things out and get good together. On our wedding night you told me that you could not go down on me because the thought of having a penis inside your mouth makes you literally want to vomit, but that you would work on that and get past it since you know that oral sex is something that I desire. It has been over three years and you still won't do it, only now its because you say you just don't want to. You won't let me go down on you even though you say that you love it when I do. You say that its gross. We have had sex one time since last May. I understand that you can not just turn it on, so I try to call you and send sweet text messages through the day, like you suggested, but when I do, you tell me I am only doing this to get laid. The last time we had sex you told me to hurry up, because you hate it.

I made a vow to you on our wedding day that I would do anything in my power to make you happy. I really do think that I have lived up to that for the most part. When you said you wanted to buy a house, I took on a second job so that we could get out of debt faster. I now work 75 hours a week, and we are building our dream home. We don't get to see each other much, but when we do, I offer to cook, clean, massage your back, and your feet. You take me up on my offers and then tell me that I am not doing any of it right.

On our anniversary last month you told me that you had made plans with some girlfriends already and that I should just "jerk yourself off, since we both know we aren't going to have sex." After hearing that I had to cancel the reservations for dinner and the hotel that we were going to stay at that night.

I am 27 years old, make a good living, have a good future, and have committed my life to you, but you have not done the same. I want to be with you, but don't know if I can do this for 50 more years. I want you to love me like I love you. I have been asked out on dates 4 different times by 4 different women in the last month, and have turned each one down, but I don't how much longer I can keep saying no as long as you keep saying no also. I am 27 fucking years old, I need my hot young wife to bang me, but the only action I get is with my hand. I will not beg you for sex. You pick fights with me, but I won't fight back because our marriage is hurting enough, I don't need to fight with you and make it worse. I am unhappy and I know you are too.

This morning I woke up and prayed that sometime this week you will tell me that you have been cheating on me, so that I can leave you and not feel guilty about it. I made a promise to you, god and all our friends and family to stay faithful to you, and only you for life. I am scared that I won't be able to keep my promise, I have never broken a promise to anyone.

You know all of this (except for my dream this morning), and I know that you really don't care about any of it. You just like say your married so that you can take me to parties and act like we are the happy couple. We both know that we are miserable inside.

Every part of my life is amazing except my marriage. Please, lets make this work. I feel trapped.

Monday, March 17, 2008

True Wife Confessions 242 Skateboards

Confession #2411

The "What I Need Before I Leave My Husband" List.

1. $800.00 for a deposit on a new apartment. My parents will loan this to me I know they will.
2. A six month bus pass that I will pay for out of the joint bank account. You can keep the damn car that you love more than me.
3. My skis
4. My fishing gear, what little I have
5. My camping gear. I'm taking the tent. You won't need a two person tent after I leave and you have a different one.
6. My bike, to bike to work with in the summer.
7. Small amount gift cards to the grocery store that I've been stock piling for awhile. Just enough to get me by for a bit.
8. Hopefully the dog. She really is my dog now since you don't spend any time with her anymore. I fear I wont' find an apt that will take her though.
9. My grandmother's necklace so you don't pawn it.
10. The TV because fuck you if I do end up leaving you.
11. My clothes and the small gift cards to a few stores that I've been stock piling because if I leave you I'll be living in poverty and wouldn't be able to keep my job in shabby clothes.
12. My laptop.
13. A paid in full semester at the university courtesy of you before you realize it. I'll get that promotion.



That's about it. I don't need much. I didn't have much before I met you and I don't feel inadequate without things like you do.


Confession #2412

My husband hurt his back and now I am terrified we are on the
slippery slope of back pain, drugs, irritability, further weight
gain, and more back pain.

Confession #2413

I find myself being more and more amazed by you. The confession on this site from the woman complaining about her husband gaming with losers made me livid. I met you gaming. And I'm not some crazy cat-girl you see at comic conventions in too tight costumes. I'm a successful professional and a mother. I just happen to like acting out as a mage or vampire or huntress from time to time.

You worry about being a good role model for my daughter, you worry about being a good father one day, you worry that the cup of tea you made me isn't good enough. You made me tea... that in itself leaves me speechless and it shouldn't. I know I am demanding, I know I'm a drama queen on speed half the time and you take it in stride. You worry that you don't do enough when you do more than most men do for their wives or lovers ever. Of course you have your moments, but who doesn't? You've taught me how to dream again when I thought I'd forgotten how.


Confession #2414

The best thing you could do for our marriage would be to throw your mama in front of a train

Confession #2415

Dear husband:
Thanks for being a stupid shit and getting me pregnant at 15. And even after you had a pregnant fiance (since you obviously didn't have a choice whether to marry me or not)- How could you mess around on the Internet w/ other women--- for 5 years? Even now, I still can't trust you. How could you tell me that you don't even feel guilty about anything you've done? The last time I found your email to another woman I knew that if we had a gun it'd either be you waking up to a gun in your face or me. Don't test me again, you've pushed me down too many times.

Thanks, TWC!!!! you've probably been a life-saver here

Confession #2416

It's hard to feel sympathetic to you when you spent your Sunday drinking and smoking with friends - gone from house and family. So when you come in at 7:30 at night, drunk, tired and in a shitty mood - don't expect me to

1. Have sex with you
2. Feel compassion for your hangover in the morning

Life goes on - kids have to be gotten up, fed and gotten to school. Get over yourself.

Confession #2417

Yesterday I sat down and bitched about you to your best friend. He was talking about how you lived so well in the Now, never worrying about things, never stressed about life, happy-go-lucky every day. And I said that the reason you get to live in the Now is because I have to live in the Now What? How I am the reason you get to be so carefree because I do the cooking, the shopping, the cleaning, walking the dog, shuttling the kids to their lessons and activities, the laundry, picking up after you, shoveling the snow, damn near everything on top of working, while you, Mr. Zen, get to ski or enjoy time with your friends or watch TV. The whole time I thought, “I shouldn’t be telling him this.” But I couldn’t stop myself. The funny thing is he got it, because he, along with everyone else, understands how you take me for granted when you don’t seem to have a clue. What’s even crazier is you think you spend all this time doing things for others, you make “great sacrifices” for people in your family, people at your job, people who need your time, and never once do you spend time considering what you can do for me. I ask you to make supper one night a week, and you usually ask me what you should make or you decide we need to go out or worse, you make nachos. Honey, if I need to tell you what to make, then I’ll just make the damn dinner myself. Here’s what I want: I want you to understand that romance is not a rub on the back while I’m loading the dishwasher, and it’s not an “I love you” on the phone while I’m folding clothes. Romance is not that easy. Here’s the secret: Romance is having your only default question to every choice or decision you make as this: “Will this make my wife happy?” Not your mom, your dad, your friends or even, my love, you. I want you to think about me before everyone and anyone else. Begin NOW.

Confession #2418

Dear Husband,



I “met” someone new. You know him and even introduced me to him. You are aware I speak with him often. But there is so much you aren’t aware of. You trust me so completely and I love your for it. But it racks me with guilt. I talk with him and he makes me think and feel things I haven’t in so long. He understands my way of thinking and can often know what I’m thinking without my saying it. He compliments me in ways I didn’t know I was missing. He makes me question so much. I think about him often in my day to day life.



I married you young. I met you as a child. You were so safe. So sweet. So simple. You didn’t date before me. I am it in your life. I love having that knowledge. But it leaves me wanting as well. You didn’t have to work for me. I chose you. Now that leaves me wishing for the romance and the sweeping me off my feet. I wish you were open with your feelings. I wish you spoke what your soul was saying. I know you love me with all you are. You give and do everything you know for me. But I wish for more. I wish for what I know a more experienced man would give. I know if I left it would crush you. But I still find myself wondering if I made the right choice.



Our bedroom life has never been great. Inexperience on both of our ends has led too much bumbling along. Add the children into the mix and well were just not doing so hot. I hate that I don’t get there with you without outside assistance. I hate questioning whether or not a different guy could please me better. I hate that your kiss has little effect on me. I want the butterflies back. I want to feel something that makes my pulse quicken. I want something exciting and new. I hate knowing each and every one of your kisses, and exactly what you mean with them. Is there really a distinct number of ways to kiss? I’m getting bored.



You are a fantastic husband and father. Every single one of my friends looks at me and my marriage and says how lucky I am. And I am. I know that. I don’t want to lose that. But I don’t want to be bored for the rest of my life. He has no ulterior motive in befriending me. I’m sure of this. He doesn’t have any idea the effect he’s had on me. So here I sit with 2 clueless men and far too much time on my hands. I fear doing something stupid. I fear making a mistake that would change my life. I fear these thoughts that dance in my mind. I love you so very much, I hope its enough for a lifetime.



Love,

Your questioning wife

Confession #2419

I wonder if I would have married my husband if we hadn't had sex
before we were married.

Confession #2420

this is my confession about my boyfriend:

when you lost your job, i paid your bills, your car payment, your child support, and gave you spending money. i gave you all my savings to cover your expenses so you could go visit your mother for three weeks. all i asked was that you brought me back a souvenir because i had never been to that city - and you forgot.

when you gave me an std, i cried, and then i forgave you.

your license was suspended and you were worried about getting pulled over in your car, because you would go to jail. i gave you my car to drive. and i didn't ask you for anything when i had to spend $600 on you car to repair a problem (that you knew about before we switched cars but didn't tell me.)

i cooked for you so you wouldn't have to spend money to buy lunches at work - even though i hate cooking, and don't even do it for myself.

i brought you and your daughter to all of my family dinners so my conservative parents could get used to the idea of us being together, even though you have a child. now they love you and her.

when you took on a part time job to make more money, i supported you. even though i only saw you once a week for 3 hours and you would spend 4 nights a week with your friends.

you told me i was too emotional for you, so i tried to keep all my feelings to myself, and only be happy when i was around you. during this time, my aunt, my grandfather, and a close friend died. i almost killed myself three different times.

the night my godfather died, i called you, and i heard you having sex with someone else. you told me you lost your phone, and even though i didn't believe you, i forgave you.

the day before our 3 year anniversary, we had another big fight. and you told me that you loved me and that i was important to you, and you wanted to make things work with me. you told me you would try harder. you told me that i was the one you wanted to spend your life with. less than a week after we had this conversation, we made plans to spend the weekend together. then you decided to take a trip with your friends for the weekend - that you were supposed to spend with me.

i have had enough. i'm breaking up with you when you get back from your road trip. and this time i mean it. i deserve to have someone who loves and respects me as much as i love and respect them. i'm tied of changing myself to be what you want. i am so exhausted from putting everything i had into this relationship, while you do nothing. i am devastated, becuase you are the man i wanted to marry. now i'm afraid i'll never get married or have children. and you probably won't even care...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

True Wife Confessions 241 - Today's Special

Confession #2401

Dear husband,



If I do not get a good night’s sleep sometime soon I may very well smother you with my pillow. I cannot function on 3 or 4 hours of sleep every day. If you are going to stay up late do not watch TV in the bedroom, turn down the volume on your stupid video games, do not wake me up after midnight with questions that can wait until morning and do not turn on the stereo when I am trying to sleep in the next room. I am not being unreasonable to expect that you do these things. There is no reason for you to do this at 1 or 2 in the morning when our son and I are trying to sleep.



Your zombie wife


Confession #2402

To my role-playing Geek Man, dear Husband, I adore you. Please keep
meeting your friends from time to time to role play, and let us please
keep inviting them to our home from time to time to also role play.

I kind of like it when you play a Druid or a Bard. And hey, sometimes
I want to be a Druid, too.

Love, your druidy wife


Confession #2403

To My Husband,

By the end of this day, a young woman we both know and love as a daughter will be engaged to a sweet young man who adores, cherishes and loves her will likely have proposed with great romantic flourish. My guess is, he'll hire a banner-tow plane to fly a banner proposal over her home as he kneels down before her to ask for her hand in marriage. And if I know this lovely young woman as I believe I do, she will happily cry her "yes", knowing in her heart that he will never bruise or betray her or her love.

I wish I was her. Or rather, that you could have loved me as he loves her. I wish you had loved and respected me enough to have proposed with tenderness, care and love, instead of treating it like the course of last resort. We both know why we're married, and it had far less to do with love and romance (on your part) than convenience and comfort. I provided you then, as I do still, with a cush gig. Even though I worked long hours in an office I commuted an hour each way to, I took (and still take) excellent care of you. I'm laundress, cook, housekeeper, gardener, chauffeur, day care provider for your littlest child, travel-nanny for your teenager, baby sitter for your grandchildren. I even cook and care for your lovely and charming elderly mother (whom I adore). And I do it all willingly and with love. And still you treat me as a piece of property; casually and without regard for the fact that you're using me up.

Today as I think of our young friend becoming engaged, I'm once again flooded with sadness, that in response to your "okay, we'll get married",
I didn't tell you to F**K off, and walk away. But I was foolish and filled with hope, I would've done anything, agreed to anything, overlooked anything to become your wife. I loved you then. Now? Now I'm an empty imitation of the woman I once was. I no longer believe in love, or romance, or even hope. You've wrung it out of me and I've let you. I wish I could hate you and walk away. But I've let you take all my options away. I have no where to go and no money to take care of myself. Loving you has cost me "me" ... and I don't think I'll ever get me back. I'm not even sure it's worth the trouble.


Confession #2404

Here's my confession. I love you more than I ever thought I could possibly love another person. I cannot wait to have the child that we talk about all the time, and your desire to have a little girl makes me melt (you being the big,bad captain of the football team of your day). I'm terrified (for no particular reason) that I won't be able to get pregnant, but I know that we will be fine either way. You are the perfect partner, meeting me halfway any time that I need you to, most of the time coming more than halfway without me even having to ask. I hope this never changes.

Confession #2405

Dear Husband

I rang you tonight. The first time I have spoken to you since last August! Do you know I did not even recognise your voice at first? I was the bigger person and I think you were gutted. In these days of text and email people do not really need to talk, but I knew that my voice would hurt you and I am glad. You broke my heart but I am stronger than you think and will get past this. I have 2 fantastic kids and they will always be there for me.

We split after 27 years and I am 48. I cannot believe this has happened to me, and both my parents, if still living, would be devastated. You have let everyone down but then I would rather this happened to me now than 58! Every cloud has a silver lining if you just look for it. I have been with you forever and now I will learn how to be independent. It is just another chapter.

It is still not the future I thought we would have. I thought there would be weddings and grandbabies and us being so happy. There is none of that. Our kids will not feel relaxed at their own weddings because they are frightened that their Mom and Dad might fight.

You were the cause of this.

Confession #2406

don't know how I ended up in a relationship with you. You like to think you are sexy and that you are a gift to all women when in fact you are the least attractive person Ive ever been with. Aside from your mediocre looks you have by far the worst personality. Even after your cosmetic surgery you still only look average at best. I enjoyed how you said that you "go easy" on girl about their looks. Seriously, brush your teeth and buy a new shirt. I'm sick of seeing the same outfit everyday.
You enjoy picking apart a conversation and flipping situations only to benefit you in the end. While you brag about how good you are in bed I disagree. You have a lot to learn in that area.
When we first started dating you left your email account logged in on your computer so I decided to take a peek. I wasn't surprised to find numerous emails from ex girlfriends with attached nude pictures. Many emails from craigslist personals and one email from a dominatrix.
When we go out you make a point to acknowledge every girl and comment about how she looks. In fact on our first date you had to roll your tongue back in your mouth because you were staring at the waitress so hard. You are a dog and you will never find true love!
You are an angry asshole who needs to seek major help! No wonder girls cant stand to be with you longer then a few months at a time. You are going to end up just like your dad. Get over yourself!


Confession #2407

I think the reason I can't seem to lose weight (or keep it off when I do happen to lose it) is that I'm afraid I will have an affair.

Not because you're not great. You are, but you can go for a week, maybe even weeks without sex and I feel like one of my girlfriend's husbands who have to beg for sex.

I'm afraid if I felt even just a little more attractive I'd be able to muster up the courage to answer a Craigslist ad. The irony? I think this extra weight on me turns you off and contributes to your lack of interest in sex. I wonder if I lost some weight if maybe you'd want more sex.

But then, even if you did want more sex. I'm honestly not sure anyone could keep up with my appetite and it really freaks me out.


Confession #2408

I have had 3 moments when I have asked myself "Why in the hell did I marry him?" We have only been married 6 months. I can't look at him and know we will be together in 20 years. I am so scared I made a mistake.

Confession #2409

My sweet - after a full year of looking, we found my "g" spot. The orgasm I had was mind blowing - amazing. Thank you for being the type of man who is willing to explore with me - and not get defensive or uptight if one thing doesn't work. I love you more for your adventurous attitude and the space we have built between us that allows for our love and play. And thanks for finally letting go of some of your inhibitions - the sex we have just gets better and better.

Confession #2410

do you really want to be married to me with this attitude? Since you
finished school and started you first job (at the age of 30-something)
you have turned into a giant dick. I miss my husband.

Friday, March 07, 2008

True Wife Confessions 240 pence in a pound

Confession #2391

Dear "boyfriend",
You think that I am blissfully unaware that you are a complete asshole. I am staying with you until I get a job and can get the heck out of here. You think of yourself as a powerful man, and yes, I suppose that you are. I am not a powerful woman, I am just me. I have three children who love you, and I know that it's going to just crush them to find out that I cannot be with you any longer. I refuse to be with someone who constantly texts women with inquiries on forced sex acts. I refuse to be with someone who posts on a site called "Diaper Space" and plenty of fish and daddies and daughters. I often wonder if I called your boss and showed him a receipt for a purchase with your name and the email you use to troll for women with in those places would get you fired. I may do it , I may not, but you are not going to have me to boss around any longer.

Me

Confession #2392

My husband is a horrible father to our child. When we met and married, he seemed so gung ho about having children... having a family. As soon as we got married, he started asking when I would be ready to get pregnant, hinting that the sooner the better. But the problems started as soon as our daughter was born. He didn't want to hold her, he didn't want to interact at all with her, ignored her crying, and refused to ever give me a break. He said he didn't realize they cried so much. If I left her alone with him, he seemed to have no concept of her needs. He had no qualms about feeding a 6 month old a poptart. We went to classes on baby nutrition for crying out loud! My daughter is 5 now, and is desperate for her father's attention. He will occasionally play a video game with her and that's about it. I've asked him why he hates his own daughter and he says he doesn't know.
I feel like I was "baited and switched". I never would have had children with this man if I had known what it would be like. I hate him for this.


Confession #2393

It took my husband a month to realize that I was avoiding sex every
time he went to his friend's house to play role playing games with
losers. Now I've told him: every time he chooses to go gaming, he
is choosing to forgo sex with me. If he wants to behave like a
junior high boy, he can have "sex" like one, too.

Confession #2394

Dearest Husband,
When you came home from a ten day business trip during which time
I was stuck at home with a sick, clingy toddler and had to drive
across the state (and back) to see my hospitalized elderly father
(with contagious child and dogs in tow) in the car that the
dealership didn't fix, and the night before you went on this ten day
overseas business trip you went gaming even though I have told you
this really offends me and I will not have sex with you any week you
go gaming, and I have not slept because I spent all afternoon at the
car dealership since they didn't fix the car right the first time and
I have ten minutes until I have to get up and go to work, I do NOT
want to have sex. I need to sleep. When I fall back asleep, this
does not mean you should grope me more. It means I need to sleep.
I love you; I missed you. I will be glad to see you when I am awake.
your loving wife


Confession #2395

The reason I turned into a jealous freak about your sudden burst of social energy and your new interest in poetry and you exchanging e-mails with friends and old flames from before we met is that when I did the same things a few years ago - and you totally didn't seem to notice -- I wound up having an affair I didn't tell you about. I'm not going to tell you about it, either, so I just hope that I can do a better job of hiding my jealousy in the future. Dag, I wish I hadn't slept with that guy!

Confession #2396

I love you more than anything in the world. And, sometimes, I hate you more than anything in the world.

Confession #2397

I’m all about empowerment in pretty much every sphere, so I’m not sure where this kink comes from, with its dubious symbolism. I guess in bed we can be our own opposites. I’m glad you’re starting to trust me, starting to believe me when I tell you just how much this turns me on, even if you don’t share it yourself. Last weekend when you handcuffed me to the bed it was just about the best orgasm I’ve ever had, with you or anyone else. I love that marriage hasn’t made us vanilla. Next time we go to a Hallowe’en party, or something like that, I’m going to wear my handcuffs as part of my costume. Most people won’t get it. Someone probably will, and we’ll share a secret look, and I’ll spend all night feeling sexy as hell. Then we’ll go home and you’ll cuff me to the bed again and fuck the living bejeezus out of me. Oh, yeah.

Confession #2398

I love you. I can’t tell you yet because things are just starting to calm down but I’ve loved you for quite some time. From the moment I met you, we’ve been comfortable and now we are finally together. It’s been a bumpy road getting here and I understand why you needed some time. Everyone sees how happy you make me. Everyone is happy for us. I miss you when you’re not around. I wake up thinking of you. I always have fun with you. You make me feel safe. You make me feel heard. I think you’re wonderful and I love you.

Confession #2399

Sometimes my husband makes me crazy, but his parents are
priceless. They make me crazy, too, sometimes...

Confession #2400

Sometimes I fantasize about being a "kept woman". I think about what if you had a high paying job and we could live in a big house. I wouldn't have to work, I could go to the spa or volunteer at the kids' school. I would hire a maid so I never had to do laundry or dishes ever again. We would have a big beautiful pasture for our horses and I would give riding lessons in the afternoons.
Then I come back to reality and try to remember why I married you instead of a millionaire.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Smart women are Hot

As some of you know, I am one of the gang of chicks who is 1. A mom, 2. A Blogger, and 3. Getting her Ph.D. In fact, I know more amazing blogger goddesses who are mid Ph.D. than I have ever meet in any other arena. You should see the very funny, very quirky group of us at BlogHer. Our jokes about hegemony, postmodern theory, and the relative benefits of a grounded theory research method KILL!

Here is a survey from one of my beloveds. She is close, dear ones, to crossing the finish line. If you would like to take the time and complete her survey, it will make her dissertation stronger, more vibrant and more REAL. Filled with the voices of many wonderful women. Which is what the best research does.

***************************************************************************************

Are you a mom? Do you blog?

I am a mom trying to finish my PhD; and I need YOUR help!

I am conducting academic research FOR you and ABOUT you. I have a particular interest in studying those things that make the transition to motherhood easier, or at the very least, better understood. The growing number of “Mommy Bloggers” has piqued my interest and I am researching the experience of blogging for mothers of young children. Your help would be greatly appreciated and go a long way toward increasing the knowledge of the ways in which blogging can be meaningful for people like mothers.

Please complete my survey and let me know about your blogging experience.

Please click HERE to learn more, or simply click the web button that you see below.

I know your time is valuable, thank you so much for participating.

mom blogger web button

Monday, March 03, 2008

True Wife Confessions 239 Folkware Pattern

Confession #2381

Honey

I love you more then I can possibly imagine. You saved me. But if you become your father.....the thought of that scares the hell out of me. The irony is that by making me a strong confident woman you gave me the confidence and strength to stand up to you when you act like him.
Please fight this, You are better then him and that's why I love you.

Me

Confession #2382

Dear Husband,
I spoke to you last night for the first time in 7 months. You were a pig to me. I was left in bits when I was just trying to reason with you. How are you able to do this to me. I was not able to function today. I cannot believe that you are so evil towards me when I have been a great wife and raised 2 beautiful, independent children. Kids who have never given us a moments worry. I asked that we move on and discuss things in a rational way and all you did was call me "sweetheart" and "darling" in the most condescending voice. When my parents died you held me in your arms and told me that you adored me and I could always rely on you forever. What happened to that man? Where did he go?

I don't ever want you in my life again, but I am also very confused. What happened? Where did that kind, lovely man go?

Confession #2383

I have the man I love, just not the marriage I love. Our first counseling appointment is next Friday. I am so excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. Excited because we need the help and we are getting it, nervous because counseling is always intense and scared that she we are going to find out that maybe we should’ve never gotten married and had kids together, and that everyone who told us that 10 years ago, will be right.

Confession #2384

Sweetheart,

I'm so delighted to be sharing my life with you. Valentine's Day was just another example of how very in sync we are with each other. Even though we didn't talk about it in advance, you gave me a very sweet card, and I did the same for you. I liked that you gave it to me the night before, as you didn't think we would see each other on the 14th. And you liked that I drove over to your office on the 14th just to give you your valentine. We each do more giving in this relationship than taking. It's the most awesome relationship I've ever experienced in my LIFE. I love you deeply. You are an incredible man and the perfect partner for me.

Your sweetheart

Confession #2385

Ex husband, and i use that term loosely,
I cannot believe what an ass you are. You stole a vehicle.. drove around in it.. had our children in it and had them sleep in it and then got put in jail. So now you sit in jail.. getting fed, clothed, entertained, and i sit wondering what i will do to pay for school lunches, or school clothes, or when i will actually get a minute to myself since you are not available for your visitation.
You are suppose to be in jail for five frickin years. I cannot believe you are so stupid to have pulled this shit and then expect everyone to sit and wait on you and your calls from jail. The kids know where you are.. they don't want to talk to you. I have to force them on the phone and yet you call over and over after they say, " i dont want to talk".
Oh .. when will you take the hint and just leave us alone. I really honestly have no feelings of pity or anything for you. I am so disappointed in myself that i picked such a jack ass to marry and then stay with for nine years and have three kids with.
I totally think you are about the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
Ex Wife

Confession #2386

I tried loving you but you were too scared to let me in. Even more scared than i was trying to love you. So eventually i left cos i was exhausted and had nothing more left to give. You drained me. We had some good times together, but i think you thought i would hang around forever, but that ain't so. Almost a year together but not once did you acknowledge my birthday, xmas, valentines........ you didn't even tell me that you had a surprise birthday party until after 1 month. Granted i couldn't have been there that day seeing as i was out of town but that's not the point. You said you didn't want a relationship, yet you expected me to spend all my free time with you. My free time was spent with you and my friends. Never once did we hang out with your friends. Were you embarrassed of me? I think not. Im easy on the eye and i'm well versed on social etiquette.

Now that i'm gone you think you can charm you're way into my life again. I think not. I have nothing left to give you anymore because i have to save some for myself. At 35 i don't have time to hang around for someone who won't even refer to me as his girlfriend and won't have me call him my boyfriend. Anyway honey i think i will always love you but for my sanity i can't be with you anymore. You had your chance and you blew it.

Au revoir.
Maybe in the next lifetime.

Confession #2387

Honey, there are about a million things you do that annoy me on a daily basis. However, I am so thankful you are not a "gamer". I could not stand being married to someone who spends every minute of free time playing computer or video games like a twelve year old. I love you.

Confession #2388

Oh, husband of mine. Your behavior has pushed me away for far too long. You are failing to see that by continually putting me at the end of your list, you are forcing me to distance myself from you emotionally. I am carrying all the weight of the house, the kids, and our life. Meanwhile, you are insensitve, you are crude, and it makes me crazy how you think that sex is your right. I have to tell you, it makes me so sad that this is the "best it's gonna get" for the rest of my life - I am so bored in bed that I'm making grocery lists in my head while you go to town on me. I don't think you realize that if you would just invest more time in being a good husband outside of the bedroom, and actually do something besides go right for my boobs or my crotch, that I might be a lot more receptive to your touch.

Instead, I feel sorry for myself that I may never have that crazy swinging from the chandeliers sex. It makes me sad, and it makes me want to find someone who can make me feel that way. Makes me want to find someone who can please me and curl my toes. You know how long it's been since I've felt that way with you? As it is, in the past six months, I have had more orgasms alone than I have had with you in a year. Funny how that works.

You really need to get it together. You need to DO something. I keep drifting and one day you may wake up to find that it's too far gone and past repair.

Confession #2389

I think it's too late.

One day, I woke up and realized the truth. And I can't believe it took me so long to see it. I don't have a husband who ever, under any circumstance, puts me first. Not when I totaled the car an hour away from home. Not when I had a miscarriage. Not when our second child was born, after we lost the first one. It's always about your job. "I'll come pick you up at the hospital when I get off work." "Can we induce labor on my day off?" Everything revolves around your job. And I thought, maybe if he had a normal 8 to 5 job, we would spend time together. And then you got the 8 to 5, and it was still never ever ever about me. And I got tired of waiting to matter. I tried to tell you, but you just said I was wrong. When I complained that you didn't even call me the day you got the new job. When I said I felt invisible.

So I acted totally out of character and did all kinds of things I never do, and didn't do all kinds of things that I usually do...stopped wearing my wedding ring, wouldn't have sex, stayed up half the night on the computer. I waited and waited for you to notice...to say anything, anything at all... to pull me back...and I finally gave up. I moved on in my head. After six months of this, I told you, I don't want to live like this any more. And NOW you want to work on it. You want to go for counseling.You say you want to be a good husband and make me happy.

But I think it's too late. I just don't feel it any more. And I don't know how to tell you. You can SAY whatever you want, but you don't have the slightest idea of how to make me feel like I matter to you. I'm so shocked that you want to try now, when all this time, you were ignoring the obvious fact that something was wrong. You said, "I noticed you were acting odd but I was trying to be patient. I guess I should have said something. I'm sorry." SO NOW WHAT?? Is this going to be MY FAULT now??

Confession #2390

I am not sure exactly how this works, but I know that there is so much I have always wanted to tell my husband but well, I just can't!

First of all, yes, I know you work hard but you know what? So do I! You complain because you work 2 jobs...... I hardly think that the so called business you run is a job! You start work at 10am and you stop whenever you want, not to mention that if no one brings you anything to fix you don't have anything to do! And then you work 1 day a week at your other job! STOP COMPLAINING! I work a full time 40 hour a week job, go to school part time and take care of our 2 children with NO help from you! If I want to run to walmart it's aren't you taking the kids? When is the last time you took them with you to the store? Oh, wait.... NEVER! I am so tired of you complaining! On top of everything I do I also find time to make you dinner and clean the dishes every night and clean the rest of the house on the weekends! You sleep till 12 or 1 in the afternoon on the weekends and I have been up with our 11 month old at 6am every morning since he was born! Stop complaining! I just wish you could spend a day in my shoes and see exactly what I "don't do for you"! Oh and by the way, you have a small penis and you SUCK in bed!

Love,

Your Wife!

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Saturday Sex Chat 2-Fer March 1, 2008

First:

Hi! I am a wife and mother of 2, who is very happy with life in general. My problem is that I almost never want to be intimate with my husband, I am only 22 and my husband is HOTT. Not to mention when we are intimate it is AMAZING. I just never want it. He has to just do it and I eventually get into it. I am so young, I don't understand why I have almost no sex drive. Any suggestions?
I'd like to be happy in all aspects of my like, as well as keep my husband happy. It's not that I don't mentally want to meet his needs, I just really don't have that need myself.

Second:

I'd like your readers opinions and input on birth control. I am a woman in my late 30's and need a reliable birth control option. I no longer want to take the Pill, although I did for many years - I just think that at my age I shouldn't be taking hormones. The bottom line is that I am sick of condoms and don't want to get pregnant. Any input?