Thursday, September 07, 2006

True Wife Confessions 67 Tales of Edgar Allen Poe

Confession #661

I hate your mother and sister. They are crazy, crazy bitches and it's
because of my complete love for you that I will work as hard as I am to have
a workable and peaceful relationship with them. Because you are such an
amazing man I will be the adult, bite my tongue til it bleeds, and always
always always think twice before anything I say or write to either one of
them. I find that as long as I don't expect rational behavior I do alright.

And your Dad and Brother in Law? Pussies. Nice, Kind, Thoughtful....Pussies

Confession #662

I think I feel like such a horrible bitch when I tell you things that I don't like that you do, because you. Are. So. Good to me. So good. I don't deserve you, no matter what you say, and all the love I could give you could never even chalk up to how grateful I am that you, in fact, love ME. I wouldn't deserve it even after a hundred trillion thousand million years of being on my best behavior. That you can put up with the fact that I just CAN'T keep my mouth shut about things, little stupid things, makes me love you even more. For your kindness and patience and good lord, I do love you so.

Confession #663

Did you really, honestly believe our sex life wouldn't change? Who fed you that line of bullshit anyways? I carried & gave birth to two babies in two years. When you made me fuck the minute I got home from my six-week postpartum doctor appointments? Awful. When I was on medication for severe post-partum depression, and you wanted me to call my doc and see if they'd switch me to a different anti-depressant so maybe I'd be hornier? FUCK YOU.

Confession #664

Your temper scares me. I know it is rare, but you become verbally violent when you are "stressed". But don't you dare blame your stress on me. I stay home and raise our children, while you sit as a desk for eight plus hours a day. And when you do come home, you sit on your ass and relax, while I cook you dinner and continue to raise our children. You need to check yourself at the front door and become Dad for the little time you are home.

Confession #665

You are all talk and NO action. You say things need to change but then you never do anything about it. You expect me to change first. I'm tired of waiting. Be proactive in this family and act like the man! Stop hiding from us. Stop working late to avoid things; stop hiding in the bathroom to take a crap four times a night; stop having to "run" to the store.

I married you because I was in love with you and you had a plan for us. Now the plan changes because you get bored with what you are doing. I'm tired of waiting to see what happens. I'm doing more with my life so that I can provide for my children when I leave your sorry butt. Then you will see who is in control.

Confession #666

(This is the confession of Satan)

I actually do speak to kids through hard rock metal.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)


Confession #667

I hate sex. It seems pointless. I don't know if it is me or if you are the problem. I used to fake every orgasm because I was never having them with you. But I do thank you for our children.

Confession #668

I'm not really at work today. I took the day off and didn't tell you so I could waste time with impunity and without having to interact with your mother.

Confession #669

I HATE your smoking, the chewing tobacco, and the nail biting. Whatever oral fixation you have, it must stop. It will be a simple reason to divorce your sorry butt. You have damaged the lungs of me and your children. If you don't care about yourself, start caring about your children or at least me.

Confession #670

I'm having an emotional affair that is gradually turning physical. I want to stay married to you, and I don't want you to ever find out. I am sorry. But I am also pissed off at you for refusing to deal with your alcoholism, neglecting me to play frickin video games, burning through the contents of our checking account in Atlantic City twice, and yelling at me to make yourself feel better when you're mad at your mother or nervous. I am having a revenge affair because I don't know how to cope with my rage at you without leaving you and throwing our family life into complete turmoil.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

#667:

I never liked sex with my husband, either. It wasn't until after we split that I realized that it's impossible to want to have sex with a man who treats you like crap! Not to mention he was just as selfish in the sack as he was out of it.
Now I'm seeing a man who is very considerate and generous in EVERY way, and with him, it's FUN!

Anonymous said...

668-I do that all the time. If I don't then he will call me all day long with things for me to do and I never get peace and quiet. It seems like the only way to get time to myself.

Pyrrhadox said...

#667 - My therapist once me that sex is just another kind of communication, and if you don't really want to communicate with eachother, you won't enjoy it. I rolled my eyes at the time, wrote it off as pendantic BS. But really? The more I think about it, the more I agree. It helped me figure out why I wasn't enjoying sex anymore, which in turn helped me figure out how I could again. *shrug* Don't know if it's helpful or even relevant for you, but I thought I'd pass it along.

alosha said...

Confession #666

(This is the confession of Satan)

I actually do speak to kids through hard rock metal.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Miss Britt said...

#661:

Considering my recent posts, and the fact that I blogroll this site, and I know several of my readers also read here... I feel obliged to confirm that

I DID NOT POST THIS (although I could have - if you swap sister with sister-in-law and brother-in-law with brother) But I didn't! I swear!

Anonymous said...

#666

Best. Confession. Ever.

;-)

The Muse said...

#669

I am an ex smoker, and boy I'll tell you, I am really sensitive to what you've said here... I have a family member who won't stop smoking no matter what I say, or no matter that I've got cancer. As we walked up to the cancer institute where I am going, they follow with a cigarette in hand. It's embarrassing, and it's just not right. (IMO)

All that said, I KNOW very well the pull of nicotine and/or fixation. It's the most addictive drug that is legal and is VERY hard to break...

I hope that your husband soon sees that he needs to change his habits for the health of those he loves. Time isn't always our firend in these situations...

*hugs to you*

Anonymous said...

Post #663 sounds like my husband. I'd seen the doctor at 4 weeks postpartum, and he said maybe wait one more week for sex. I also had postpartum depression, from being traumatized by my child's premature birth and the miserable hospital stay for a week beforehand. But he bitched and moaned till I gave in.

Then there was kid #2. Right around 4 weeks, he began to whine, so I gave in. But then I got nervous and would not give him any more. When I had my postpartum visit at 6 weeks, the doc (different from the first) said I really should have waited, since I'd had stitches. Men are so DAMN selfish.

Anonymous said...

Oh god #668 I am SO doing that. Soon.