Monday, February 23, 2009

True Wife Confessions 283 tea leaves

Confession # 2821

Every time you are rude to me, it takes me longer to fall back in love with you.

Confession # 2822

Today, for the first time in over a decade, you actually acknowledged how hard I work - at my job, at parenting, in our home. I wish you had done this so much sooner. It could have repaired some of the damage that has happened in our marriage.

Confession # 2823

I have been married to you for 25 years, the first 13 were spent with you drinking day in and day out. You have never made love to me sober. For the past 13 years you haven't even touched me. Yes I am screwing around on you and no I don't feel bad about It. Yes It's with someone you know very well and no you will never find out. No I will never divorce your stupid ass I have way to much invested in you to do that. So I will just sit back and enjoy making love to one of your closet family members.

Confession # 2824

I think you finally killed my libido.

Confession # 2825

Sometimes I dread when you travel for work, as you want to have sex as soon as you get home. I appreciate the thought, but I am exhausted from parenting alone. When you start to climb on me too I just want to scream and run out the door.

Confession # 2826

I hate that you fall asleep on the couch when we only have two evenings together a week

Confession # 2827

Just because you work and I dont doens't mean you can treat me like shit. I am not your slave either. You think your the man and your job is so hard and that I get to sit at home and watch tv all day. Well guess what that is not fun and not what I do. First I take care of our son, do the chores like laundry, dishes, clean, pay the bill, and just about everything else since you won't do shit. You bitch about taking out the trash. All you have to worry about is yourself and you can't even take a shower everyday. I can't have friends come over because you bitch about that and say you cant trust me. I have never done shit to you. Everything is my fault I am the bitch and your fucking perfect. If I dont remember to wash YOUR clothes I have to hear how I dont love you and I am such a horrible wife. I cook dinner and you say how your tired of chicken or you don't want what I am making but I don't see you in there ever trying to cook. I really hate you and wish I had the finances so I could leave your ass. I have never felt so insecure, worthless, or depressed in my life. Go to hell.

Confession # 2828

Dear lover, I confess. I know you take Viagra. I found one of your pills wrapped in foil on the floor of my bedroom. It must have fallen out of your pocket one night when we got naked. I'm torn as to whether or not to tell you I know. Obviously, you don't want me to know, or you would have told me yourself. So do I keep it to myself? And let both of us continue the charade? Your telling me I make you hard? Me knowing that it's not just me, but that drug enhancements are playing a part? Or do I tell you and risk your not being able to handle that I know?

The fact that you take it really doesn't matter to me. I love you no matter what. But you think sex is so very important to me. It's really not, though I enjoy it tremendously with you. Important, yes, but the companionship we share is oh so much more important. I want a lot of sex because I know it's important to *you*. It's not really for me, but for you. I'm scared that your ego would be shattered if I told you what I know and you could no longer keep up the charade.

Unfortunately, having secrets creates distance. Opening up and potentially being vulnerable creates closeness. I'd much rather have closeness than distance. So I'm torn.

What to do? Help!

Confession # 2829

Sometimes I need to be touched when it has nothing to do with sex. It's not just kissing that I miss, although I do miss that a lot. Little things are important, too. Holding hands, playing footsie under the table and cuddling are things I want and need on a regular basis. And when I'm upset, I need the man who is supposed to love me to actually make the effort to put his arms around me and comfort me. I've told you this so many times before that I don't want to say it ever again.

When I am already feeling vulnerable and I have to beg you to comfort me, it may make you feel powerful, but it just makes me wonder why I married such an asshole. You need to start paying a bit more attention to my needs or I'm going to take the kids and finally leave you. There is more to being a husband and father than just providing a paycheck. I've told you this before, but you never seem to believe me.

I know you read this blog. I'm hoping that seeing it spelled out in black and white will finally make you wake up and realize what you are throwing away.

Confession # 2830

I hate my life today.

I hate the time the kids take. I hate all the housework. I hate that you have a pinched nerve in your neck that you won't get looked at. I hate that you wake up in the middle of the night in pain, making me get up in the middle of the night to pat your back and ask if you need anything. I hate that you don't have the balls to insist on the raise you're entitled to but DO have the balls to ask me if I want you to interview for a job 1,000 miles away.

This fucking sucks.

Monday, February 16, 2009

True Wife Confessions 282 rose petals

Confession #2811

If you want to complain about a nagging wife, too many demands on your time, and dull life in the suburbs -- you shouldn't have married a happy-go-lucky artist, had no major obligations, and moved into a barn surrounded by trees. It's as though you are following some script about what men should be enraged about. But it doesn't apply. How do you think I feel? Your friends envy you for having an easy-going, cheerful wife and they look baffled when you tell me to "stop nagging." Is handing you a cool poem and suggesting we go to your favorite ice cream place "nagging"? I feel like your friends see me more clearly than you do. Does it make you feel grown-up to have things to complain about, so you make them up? Soon enough there will be actual obligations, like children, so why can't we just enjoy this time?

Confession #2812

sometimes i wish you'd put yourself in my pair of shoes while we have sex, and try to get off watching some emaciated fuckface ram his pecker into me. maybe you'd actually understand why i refuse to fuck anymore.

Confession #2813

Dear Heartbreaker,

Not too long ago our marriage was on the rocks. I was ready to take our daughter and move to another state to get away from you. You were distant and detached. I was miserable and depressed. We were not the people we were when we met and got together.

I am so glad now that I stuck around and waited it out. You have made a complete turn around change and in turn I have too. You tell me that the baby has changed your life; that you see our family and you want nothing more than us. When I told you we were having baby number 2, your face lit up and I feel in love with you all over again. You’re affectionate and attentive. You are awesome with our daughter. You take time to do little things that make me feel special and appreciated. What I love the most is when this morning I was bitching at you about the computer, you very wittingly turned the situation around and made me laugh. Unlike the past, you did not decide to fight with me, you de-escalated the situation and my frustration melted away. I know I am hormonal on account of baking this baby, and you have really stepped up to the plate this time. So thank you. I appreciate you and the changes you have made. I love you. Para Siempre Mi Amor.

Till another time,

-Formerly- Hurting Heart

Confession #2814

I have been reading about radical feminist lesbian separatists on my
computer. Not because I'm a lesbian, but because it is the best mental
escape from you. Then I get up and cook you dinner and laugh at your
jokes and watch the movie you choose and tell you in bed what you want
to hear.

Confession #2815

We haven't had sex for a year. First you were concerned about hurting the baby, but I've had the "all clear" from the dr. for some months now and you still won't touch me. I figured you were asexual but the other night I caught you looking at porn. Am I really that disgusting that you'd rather beat off to porn than have sex with your wife? I lost all the baby weight, so why don't you want to fuck?

Confession #2816

in comparison to my 5'4, you are about 6'2 with.....well, all that workout time has turned you into some kind of BEAST! and when the TIME comes.....all that power sends me to goddamn heaven! you blow my mind!

Confession #2817

You don't want to go to the events I am excited about. But you don't want me to "leave" you and go alone or with a friend. When I stay home you say you are "bored being at home" -- but you don't have any suggestions for activities or places you'd want to go. I booked us for that class because I thought you would like it. On the way there, you starting your negative talk, decided it would be lame, and said you'd skip it and just wait for me outside. That hurt. I was trying to do something inspiring and positive for us. Tonight when I tried to make up and asked if you wanted to watch the new Netflix you said "Not really." I asked why and you said "Because I don't know anything about it." Your tone was antagonistic. I went upstairs and cried. I'm at my wit's end. My heart is full of love and optimism, but nothing around me seems to support it. I feel like it's true what they say: the guy is up for everything when he's wooing you. Then once you're married, he changes. Now I understand why most community education classes are filled with lonely looking married women. And I can't even enjoy being out there on my own since I know you're at home pouting that I'm not spending time with you.

Confession #2818

I am a complete and utter idiot for marrying my now ex-husband. We had a child, that he completely ignored and now I am faced with the hatred I feel because he says he wants to close that ugly chapter in his life and our child is nothing more than a child support debt to him. How dare he think of my boy that way. He doesn't deserve to breathe, or maybe I don't for having a child with such a loser.
Thank goodness for my current husband or I would be on a plane to California to hurt, maim or kill the ex. Grrrrrrrrr.

Confession #2819

Dear Boyfriend,
I hate your beard. It's such a turn-off that kissing you has become almost unbearable. When you're clean-shaven you're one of the hottest men I've ever known, but now I can barely muster up the desire to have sex with you. I ask you every day to please shave, but you laugh as though I'm just kidding. It makes you look dirty, unprofessional, and about 10 years older. Please give me my hot boyfriend back!

Confession #2820

When you go to bed with a ‘headache’ right at the kids’ bathtime, I purposely leave the hall light on and get the kiddos extra ramped-up so they’ll be loud. You don’t have a headache, you just don’t like to bathe the children.

Monday, February 09, 2009

True Wife Confessions Zero Zero Niner

Confession #081

I hate that I'm always the one to get up in the middle of the night to see what the dogs are barking at. It's dark out there and we don't have any neighbors to jump in to save me while you're snoring away. You're the one with the fancy new hunting rifle and super-duper hunting skills, and I'm the one with the MagLite flashlight.
Who would you rather have protecting us in the dead of the night?

Confession #082

When you want to order pizza, I know that you ask me if I want anything from the store. If I say "Yes" then you will try to get me to call the order in AND pick it up. What's up with the food ordering phobia? I caught on to this about 12 years ago, so don't think that you're getting away with anything.

Confession #083

Why do you pretend like you have anything to do with Christmas cards? We ALL know that it is me who buys, addresses, writes, stamps and otherwise takes cares of the christmas cards - including the god damn holiday photo of child. When I hear you on the phone taking credit for these cards I want to pop you in the nose. I challenge you to even DESCRIBE what the cards look like this year... I thought not.

Confession #084

When you have to be alone with our child for any length of time, you always act incredibly put upon when I get home. Suck it up. The eye rolling and heavy breathing is not needed to impress upon me that she sucks the life force out of you. I GET it.

Confession #085

I always have an orgasm when I do it myself . I almost always fake it with you . You always start off so great but get too impatient . Then I just fake it to get it over with .

Confession #086

I know this is hypocritical, since I'm not lighting up the runways with my supermodel body, but since you've gained so much weight, I'm just not that attracted to you anymore.

Confession #087

Let's face it-- we both know I am much, much handier than you are with a hammer, a screwdriver, or a saw, but I bite my tongue and let you put together most of the new furniture and do random projects around the house because I know it hurts your manly pride to admit your wife is better with tools than you are. After you hung the curtains in the baby's room, I went and re-hung them so that they would hang straight, and spackled over the old holes long before you got home from work so you'd never know. And I also fixed our new headboard after you put the wrong screws in the frame

Confession #088

I am far more experienced in the art of providing oral sex than I have led you to believe.

Confession #089

I hate that you keep our house shut up like a tomb in the summer and run the a/c continually with out ever letting any fresh air in

Confession #090

I know that you used to give me liquor for every "event" like a birthday or Christmas, or valentines day, because the liquor store is on the drive home and you couldn't be bothered to buy anything ahead of time. Either that, or you were trying to drive me to alcoholism.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Second Chance

If you weren't aware of the Envisage 365 project...then you should be.

Last summer, I was contacted by Sarah - one of the TWC community - to ask if I would post her idea to start a blog made up of women from everywhere. Women who would take a picture everyday and send it to her. These aren't anonymous, or random. These are women who have chosen to share some amazingly intimate things about their lives. Work. Family. Friends. Love. Anger. Joy. Depression. Children - in all of their incarnations, babies to adults. Art and Beauty. And Humor.

I asked Sarah if I could be one of the women to join - and I am grateful that she allowed me to participate. I have submitted 157 pictures, to date, with two more to send in for yesterday and today. I carry my camera around with me at all times, and have gotten better at getting it out when I see something I want to document. At the end of the day, I look at the pictures I have taken and choose one that, for me, signals something significant about my day.

This is not a homogeneous group of women. We are at all stages and places in their lives. We come from all different religious and philosophical backgrounds. We may not have chosen to be friends based on a variety of factors - but we are now a cohesive group.

I shared this blog with a colleague of mine who specializes her research in the way people - particularly women- document their lives. While her research has focused on African women use photos to echo their life events, she was wildly fascinated by the Envisage project. "You have to write a paper!", she said to me this week, as I talked about the realization that regardless of who we were as individuals, our experiences as women - lovers, mothers, wives, friends, grandmothers - ties us in a way that is fundamentally relate able to one another. We echo common themes that circle back onto each others spheres of life. We are not different.

(Does this sound a little like any other blog you may know? TWC for example?)

Sarah is starting a sister blog to the envisage project, and is limiting this one to 25 participants. The start date is March 1st, 2009. If you might be interested then I encourage you to contact her and find out more about the project. If you aren't sure, then scroll through the Envisage archives to look at the type of work that has been done to date. I think you will be amazed.

Sarah can be contacted at:

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

True Wife Confessions 281 Inorganic Chemistry

Confession #2801

When we watched "P.S. I Love You" and you cried along with me, I was unbelievably touched! I can't even imagine how I would cope with losing you, and to know that you feel the same about me is a wonderful, exhilarating feeling. I won't tell anyone that you cried (except maybe my mom, and it'll make her love you even more than she does already), but I'm so glad you did!

Confession #2802

So, probation is almost over and we still haven't talked about what happened to the extent it needs to be talked about. You're a nice guy who made a mistake and I am a nice girl who has decided to stay. A year later, what a long time that has gone by soooo fast. I started posting here to help me not say things to you that would be damaging to our marriage. I would feel emotions I didn't know I have, then went into therapy and realized I really could be pissed at you and decide to stay with you at the same time. Imagine, I had a choice. So now I choose to keep on going down the same path with you and if things don't go as planned or you should veer off the path with me, I can choose to leave. I can promise I will leave if there is a next time. the amount of time and money on this case is crazy. 12,000.00 dollars to keep you out of jail, now you may be layed off next week. We sure could have used the money now. I hope you really have learned your lesson. I come here to get these words out of my head before I say something that I really don't mean. I could hurt with my words, and that's not my style. Frankly I dont' want to be judged, I just want to vent without it coming back to me, but lately I feel I have to defend my thoughts here, too. With that said, STOP SNORING!!
Love Me

Confession #2803

I posted here last year. I said some terrible things in anger and despair. Now I want to rectify the situation.

Dear husband- I was wrong. So wrong. So dumb. I'm glad we fell in love again with fresh vigor and enthusiasm for one another. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I adore you. I've been unfair and foolish in the past. Childlike in my frustrations and selfish. We got another start once we moved and I've never been happier. Thank you honey for putting up with my shit. Thank you for loving me because I'll love you until the day I die. I learned my lesson and with your patience and kindness, I've become a new woman! I love you baby and Happy Two Year Wedding Anniversary!-- Hope there are many more to come!

All my love- Your Devoted Wife

Confession #2804

Sometimes when we are caught up in the passion of our kissing and fucking, I look at you...and you look at me. And you start to cry a little. So I hold you and whisper how much I love you. I know how scary we can feel, this giant enormous passion between us. I love that you feel safe enough with me to let that out, and it makes me love you more.

Confession #2805

Whether or not you intended to hurt my feelings, you did. When I called you on it, rather than just a simple apology I got another 30 minute lecture about how I over-react, how I'm too sensitive, how I'm wrong. At that point I'll say anything, do anything, concede defeat just to get you to shut the fuck up. It doesn't mean you were right, it doesn't mean you "win". It means that I'm learning I can't discuss my feelings with you without being punished. So when the day comes that I'm completely fed up with you, my walking out will come as a complete surprise.

Confession #2806

I appreciate that you are trying to spice sex up after 20 years, but it freaks me the hell out when you zero in on my vagina after ignoring it for the past 20 years. No warning - no nothing - just on it. I finally faked an orgasm to get you up and out of there. Geesh. Give me a little warning, ask me what I like. Something.

Confession #2807

How can I LOVE someone so much but sometimes HATE them almost as much??
Maybe I don't love you anymore? I don't know. I know that I love the old you. The caring you. We had all these plans and dreams. You told me how everything would work out. Why did I believe you? Heck, I don't even care about that any more. I'd give anything for you just to TALK about our dreams with me. You don't even have to fulfill them. I think that some where deep inside you, you're still the same person. Why do you hide it away from me?
I was young and stupid and immature for listening to you and eloping. I wish I would have gone to school. But I thought that I had found my true love. If you were the same that you led me to believe you were, this all would have ended up fine. But you weren't the same person when I came up here to elope. You lied to me. I want to go back to how it was when we were dating. If I could go back I would. I don't know if we would still be together. That's one of the reasons that I came up here with you, I was scared to lose you. You made me feel like there was no other option. I didn't feel like there was any other option for us. I should have seen the way you started to treat me on the phone was only part of how you had changed.
I hate that you joined the army. You said it was your dream but sometimes you say that you did it because you had no other options. You had TWO good job offers without a college education. One of those would have paid for you to go to school for them. We could be making good money and still be back home. Our baby could have way better then we are giving him now. You are stationed in the middle of no where. The base is empty because everyone is deployed except you. I have no friends, I hate it here.
I hate that you got a hernia. I hate that they messed up the surgery. I hate that they messed up the surgery that was supposed to fix it. You haven't given me good sex since we got it. You got it a few months after we got married and we have been married for almost two years. No wonder I never want to do it with you. If you hadn't gotten the surgery you would be in Iraq right now. I NEVER want you to get hurt. The main reason that I don't want you to go is because I'm scared shitless that something would happen to you. I still love you that much. But if you were over there we would be getting a much needed break. We would be making decent money for once. I would be back home with people I love and with my friends.
I wish you would have gotten condoms when we first got married. I was young and naive and in love. You were my first I didn't know barely anything about sex. I trusted you when you said that you would pull & pray and that we wouldn't get pregnant. It might have worked IF YOU DID IT!! I didn't want to get pregnant right after turning 18!!! Don't take that the wrong way, I absolutely LOVE and ADORE my child. He is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. But I want better for him Which I could have given him if we had waited till we are better off. Now we go paycheck to paycheck with a little to spare. I also hate that you asked me to have sex just a few days before we got married. I wanted to be a virgin till we got married. You knew how important that was to me. No you didn't force me and yes I should have said no but I was emotionally unstable at the time. I just left home without telling anyone good bye and I just given up everything for you. I will regret that my whole life.
Thanks for getting me pregnant and then not helping me at all through it. Thanks for making ME go out and get what I craved for. Thanks for not going to the appointments with me. Thanks for making my big pregnant self go out all by myself when I needed out of the house. Thanks for making me force you to go grocery shopping the last few weeks of my pregnancy when my water could have broken at anytime. Thanks for telling me that you would do all that and then not doing it. That pisses me off the most, you saying one thing then not following through.
I hate you for looking at porn. Some people might be okay with it but I"M NOT!! You crushed me the first time I caught it. I just had a baby and felt like shit about myself and you go and do that. You looking at it takes the little self esteem that I have go away. Why was I not good enough for you? Was popping a baby out not good enough for you? I was in labor for over 24 hours, I pushed for over 4hours, and I had a 3rd degree tear. I was hurting pretty bad. You couldn't even wait a few weeks till I healed up. Use your damn hand, don't go look at naked girls that look way better than me. You promised never to do it again. The second time I found it I was PISSED. How could you break your promise?!? The third time just made me hate you a little more. I hate it. If you have to hide it from me it's cheating in my book. Don't even tell me that you were bored at work and that's why you did it. That is bull shit and you know it. If you were so bored you could have called me and talked to ME.
I absolutely DESPISE you for being so double sided. You tell me one thing that then you want another. You told me to stay on vacation for a couple more weeks and then you ruined it for calling me ALL the time and yelling at me. I didn't want to come home and the only reason I did was because of my mom. People threw a bridal shower for me so I got to pick out stuff for the house. I called and tried asking you what you would like, you tell me to pick whatever and you would like what I picked. Now every fricking time we have a fight you just have to bring up the fact that I picked out EVERYTHING in the house. Which is BS. The list of your double-sidedness just goes on and on.
Sometime when I look at you I just want to slap you so hard in your face. I think how much you have hurt me. I remember the names you called me, bitch, c***, whore, spoiled brat, dumbass, crazy and I'm sure there are more. I remember every time you have let me down. I think of all the promises you have broken. Thinking of all that makes me want to slap your face off. ..
You mess with my head. One minute you are fine and everything is great (those are the times that I am happy) the next you are yelling at me for everything. You tell me we can get out of the house but then you won't go out with me. We live in the middle of nowhere. All my friends have left. I have no one to talk to except you and my mom. Then you have the balls to yell at me for talking to my mom all the time. We talk once a day, leave it alone. Talk to me more and maybe I wouldn't. Yes, I think that I might be starting to get depressed, but not because I'm missing my family and friends back home, because of how you treat me. I feel like shit whenever you are around.I don't want to be your princess again. I just want some respect from you. That's all I ask. I'm lonely that is why I get on the internet. It started when I was pregnant and I was on it all the time, I had nothing better to do. I don't get on it that much anymore, a few times a day. I can't quit cold turkey, it's my only link to the outside world.
I wish you would get this through your head: I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!! I had no plans to leave you. I am not the bitch that she is. If you don't agree with me about something I will not rip your balls off. I do not want a guy that gives me everything that I want because he is scared of me. I tell you what I think about something and that is called an opinion. I will straight out tell you if I don't want you to do this or that. Stop being a dick to me because you are scared of our relationship being how your mom and step-dad are. You are more like her than me. You are the moodiest guy I have ever met.
Oh by the way, your proposal was not a surprise. I went along with it to make you happy. I knew all along. Stop telling everyone that it was a surprise, you sound dumb.
What made me write all this is because we are fighting. You told me while fighting that if I was sexy then you would put effort into our sex life. You accused me of cheating. You dumb fuck, who the hell would I cheat with?? There is NO ONE up here. You have to go and question my sanity. I might be slightly depressed but I am NOT crazy. You not only question my sanity but you have the nerve to say you don't trust me with my own child. You say 'I'm worried you are either going to hurt him physically, or neglect him and hurt him emotionally'. Want to know what I have to say to that....Go FUCK yourself. That child is the only reason I live. He is the main reason I am still with you. I would never hurt him. How could you say something like that when I cry over how big he has gotten, I worry when he falls and want to take him to the E.R..I'm the one that has taken him to the E.R. everytime he has been sick. I am the one that gets up to take care of him in the middle of the night. I'm the one that clothes him and bathes him. That isn't you. You have yet to do any of that. You got up with him ONE time but it was at 8 a.m. on a Saturday so I could sleep a little more. I couldn't even sleep though because he was crying so much from you not doing anything with him. Right now I am frustrated because of his sleeping schedule. He doesn't sleep like he used to and wasn't going to bed till 1-2-3 a.m. I was trying to fix it but it just made him a big crab. I wasn't getting mad at him at all just the problem we were having with sleeping. That is a big difference. I was getting barely any sleep b/c I tried to stay awake to talk to you and be with you, on the weekends, while you were on nights. Yes, I was sleeping during the day WITH J. I was getting maybe 6 hours in a 24hour period. Don't critize me when you aren't doing anything to do with it. It's not as easy as you think, staying home all day with him.
I want to show you all this. But I know that you'll just twist it all around and I'll be the bad guy. I want everything to be back to normal like before. I hope you realize that if you don't start to change soon, I'm out. I will not put up with this crap much longer. I hate who I am becoming. I don't want J to think that it's okay to treat women like you treat me. Don't worry I'll stay long enough for me to get at least a start on my college at your expense. Long enough for me to save up enough money to make it for a few months.
I don't want to. Really I don't but I can't live off of broken promises. I want to go to counseling and get help. I'm telling you this when you get home from work. You need to make an effort though, a big effort. Dumb old me will forgive you and listen to your promises and love you like you deserve it. I really do love you, after reading all that I typed I still love you. You better straighten up before I wisen up.

your push-over wife

Confession #2808

My husband doesn’t get why I don’t want my sil to watch my daughter, EVER. It’s because she drinks to oblivion, all the time, and watches waaaay inappropriate movies, with LOTS of nudity, sex and language. My sil and mil watch stuff in the living room in front of whoever is there that I would consider borderline porn. IN PLAIN VIEW OF EVERYONE. It’s embarrassing. If we are all over at my mil or sil’s house, they will be watching an embarrassing movie, I make sure me and my daughter are NOT in the same room with them. My husband doesn’t really notice, he thinks they are in the other room watching a romcom and that he would rather stay in the main living room watching sports with his dad. It’s gotten to the point where they will give me a heads up that they are watching a movie and tell me the name, just so I can make myself scarce if need be, I have to give them credit for that. What’s wrong with watching more wholesome family fare when say…WHEN KIDS ARE AROUND? And saving the more adult stuff for your bedroom, with the door locked!

My sil watches the most vile movies, with lots of nudity, sex and language, stuff that I find embarrassing. She could easily watch a movie that had female nudity ALL during it and not even give it a second thought. She hasn’t figured out yet that WOMEN AREN’T OBJECTS.

I’m not judging anyone else that likes this, fine, live anyway you want, but I don’t want my daughter around people that don’t share my core belief that children shouldn’t be exposed to strong sexual content.

My husband/her brother, just thinks that she is “stupid”, and he says just ignore her, and that he is just used to her antics that it rolls off his back. He doesn’t think she is as bad as I do because he is more used to her.

Btw, she doesn’t have kids cause she isnt able to and doesn’t want to adopt.

And she doesn’t have the common sense of a fruit fly, and refuses to clean up her language in front of my daughter. My husband doesn’t really want to spend time with her either, he doesn’t really want to talk about it cause she’s family and he believes in family loyalty. But she lives 20 min from us and we hardly ever see her, only family get togethers, we don’t hang out with her. Every once in a while she will mention that she would love to see my daughter and babysit. He feels as if he should throw her a bone and let her babysit. I have given in 2 times, and she came to our house so I knew that I would have some control over the environment.

I really avoid her as much as possible, she is soo phony, I tried to be her friend at first, but once I saw how she was, I don’t want anything to do with her. She pretends to be friends with people, and then behind their backs she talks trash about them. She does this with several family members, and they have no idea how much she says she “hates” them when they aren’t around. Her family ignores this about her.

Confession #2809

I pray every day that I will wake up and this will all be a dream and I will be in the year 2004 again, before I met you, so that I might miraculously make a different decision. But time never rewinds for me, my life doesn’t change. If it were not for our daughter, I would have ended it by now. Not just our relationship and a lot of other things, but my life. I’ve thought about it often, many times, once with the gun in my hand, but each time I think about her – how she needs me and what it would do to her if I was suddenly gone. I’ve always known that I would do anything for her, and I guess that includes living when I would rather just end it all. You are all the family that she and I have, and she adores you like no one else. But she sees things from a child’s perspective, and she doesn’t know the man that I have to live with. It’s not simply your drinking problem and the fact that you spend hundreds of dollars a month on alcohol. It’s also the fact that when you are drunk you treat me like shit. I’m glad that you stay outside to drink, and that she doesn’t have to see you drunk, because you are pathetic and disgusting when you are trashed. Seeing you like that makes me want to cry for you and to beat the shit out of you all at the same time.

When we first married, you were so hard-working, constantly fixing things around the house and taking care of the yard. Now the yard looks like shit and the house is about to fall in. Our room has had a hole in the ceiling for three years, the power in one bedroom has been out for two weeks (it’s a miracle the house hasn’t burnt down yet), the kitchen sink has been leaking for months, the bathtub faucet is leaking and rotting out the sheetrock around it, and much more. I don’t know how to fix these things myself, and you won’t let me hire someone else to take care of them.

Then there is our sex life – or lack of. When you’re drinking you can’t do anything, even though that is the only time you halfway try. When you’re sober, you are disinterested or too tired or whatever the hell your problem is. The little blue pills made you feel bad – boo fucking hoo. Last night when you were drunk and I was “taking care” of you, you suddenly sat up and starting choking me. It was easy to free myself, because you are weak as shit when you are drunk, but it scared me and pissed me off at the same time. That’s only the second time that you’ve ever gotten physical with me, the first being the time I tried to keep you from driving drunk and you punched me in the jaw. It’s true how they show cartoon characters seeing stars when they get whacked in the head. I saw stars and couldn’t move my jaw without pain for a week.

When you are sober, you claim to not remember any of the terrible things you did or said while drunk. But the funny thing is that no matter how wasted you were, you can always remember everything I did or said. So basically you are lying. You are fully aware of all of the times you told me you didn’t love me or that I was a stupid bitch.

You spend all of your time at work, getting drunk in the backyard, trying to sober up, sleeping entire weekends away, and watching TV. We never do anything together as a family anymore. I don’t understand it. You have a young wife who treats you like a king, a beautiful daughter who worships you, a good job, friends, and a decent home. Why are you trying to throw it all away? I know you have hurts and old wounds, but who doesn’t? Snap the fuck out of it!

I’m sick of living this way. I know people would say that it is my fault for staying, that I could take our daughter and leave if things are so bad, but I have to have a place to take her, a way to make things not so difficult for her. So as soon as I get up enough money, which won’t be much longer, I am going to leave you to wallow in your misery. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man with split personalities, who could be a bad influence on our daughter, who says he loves me but doesn’t act like he does. I’m 28 years old – I need stability, a strong shoulder to lean on, affection, and at least some occasional sex. Even though I have no other family and I know my life will be lonely and hard without you, I also know it will be so much easier emotionally and physically. You take so much out of me. My stomach is in knots just thinking about how our baby will react to being away from you, and how I will feel walking out that door, and how I will constantly worry about you, knowing that you really need me. But I have to do it. For me and mostly for her. I don’t want to be this person anymore, in this life.

Confession #2810

To my Future Hubby:

Whenever we argue, you always say that I don't trust you, which isn't entirely true. I do trust YOU, the essence of your being, the good man you are. I trust that you will stand by my side and be there when it counts. I trust that you will never stray, and that you always have our best interests at heart. I trust that you love me, that you are my best friend, and that we can solve any problem together. I love you (more importantly, I like you!) and I'm ecstatic at the thought of being your wife.


I DON'T trust your ADD. Your memory is horrible, and it is sooo frustrating! It doesn't seem to matter what you have to remember- as soon as it enters your pretty little head, it's gone. (For instance, I'll send you to the store with a grocery list, and you'll forget to read it. You'll miss half the items, and then it's another trip. How hard is it to read a piece of paper?!? Maybe I should start pinning lists to your shirt...) I'm responsible for keeping track of EVERYTHING- birthdays, bills, chores, appointments, groceries, planning for the wedding- and I'm sick of doing it! I know you've been struggling with ADD for years, and you say you've tried every trick in the book to improve things; apparently none of them worked. I don't think you tried very hard, though. I have a bad memory myself (thanks to genetics and a few klutzy concussions when I was a kid), but compared to you, I am the Memory Queen! I write things down, and I form habits and routines to help me remember. You're cooperating with my "box" idea for your keys and things, but otherwise you've given up trying and have handed me all the responsibility. Which is very unfair to me! I am not your babysitter, I am not your mom, and I am not your secretary. I don't care how you do it, but do what grown-ups do and keep track of your own shit!

I DON'T trust you to recognize what needs to be done around the house, and do it. Maybe it's the ADD again, or maybe it's because your parents didn't make you do chores when you were young. (Which they should be slapped for! It's the job of parents to make sure that their children are prepared for adulthood. They didn't do you- or me- any favours by cleaning up after you all the time.) I need you to be a big boy, notice what needs to be done WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU, and do it. It's bad enough that I have to remind our roommate just to clean up after himself (and by the way, the second we can move out and leave him and his disgusting habits behind, we're gone- we'll give him notice, but then it's 'So long, Gollum'.), I don't need the added stress of babysitting you too. (FYI, I'm not best pleased about having to babysit him in the first place. You have NO idea.) Grow up and clean up after yourself. And then do some extra chores- you owe me.

I DON'T trust you to save money. I'm a saver, and you're a spender. I know you've really been trying to save, especially with the wedding coming up soon, but you forget how expensive things are and how often you really do splurge. That's why I've started writing everything down, so I can show you where the money is going. Don't fight me on it, and don't make me feel bad when I have to say "I'm sorry honey, but you can't have that right now". Weddings are expensive (even though we're doing our best to cut costs. Sorry, I'M doing my best. You're not really involved with the details, are you?), and I don't want my family to have to help us out more than necessary. Of course, if YOUR family was interested in helping, maybe we could ease up on the money restrictions. Which brings me to another point...

I DON'T trust you to stand up for yourself (or me) with your parents. We've been together for 2 and a half years, and your dad has yet to wish me a Happy Birthday. Does he think I don't have one? And your mom forgot my birthday last year. I'm sorry that this bothers me, but it does. Holidays are VERY important in my family, and I believe that if someone is important to you, you remember the days that are important to them. Period. Your dad didn't even get us a present this past Christmas. I don't mind as much about myself, but you're his only child! He can lend money ($4K!) to a woman he barely knows, but he can't get you a damn Christmas present?!? I know that hurt you, and I can't forgive him for that. I will play nice, just as I always have, but I will never forgive either of your parents for hurting you so many, many times. The irony is that your parents live so close, while mine (wonderful people, especially my mom) live in another province. I would gladly move to be closer to them and further away from yours... (And we will, eventually, if I have anything to say about it!) Your parents aren't even showing interest in our wedding! If you would only talk to them and tell them that their actions are hurting you/us, maybe things would improve. But although you can stand up for yourself in basically any other situation, you're incapable of standing up to (or even disagreeing with!) your parents. And I can't understand why.

I love you so much, honey-bunny. Don't ever doubt that! But sometimes I wish I was marrying a responsible adult, instead of an irresponsible man-child. I don't expect you to be perfect (I know I'm certainly not!), but I do expect you to try. Please keep trying. And up the effort!

Your Loving Future Wife