Tuesday, May 26, 2009

True Wife Confessions Fo-teen

Confession #131

During that awful lunch with your mother before we got married, when she was
trying to get me to break up with you, she told me, "Once a liar, always a
liar. He'll lie to you for the rest of your life. It's a shame you don't
have more respect for yourself than to marry someone who lies to you." I
was incensed on your behalf at the time, but sometimes I look at you and
wonder if she wasn't right. I hope not, but then you lie about something
else, usually something stupid. I wish you would just be honest with me.

Confession #132

I have a secret blog where I vent about how crazy you make me.

Confession #133

Sometimes I know you want sex but play dumb because you won't just come out and ask me if we can have sex.

Confession #134

Silly man. All you have to do to get more sex is shower more often. Who wants to have sex with a man who hasn't showered since the last time you had sex?

Confession #135

When you tell me not to worry my pretty little head about all the secrets you keep I worry more, asshole.Your declarations of love mean nothing - talk is cheap.

Confession #136

Okay...you keep talking about cutting your hair off and...you know...that's okay. It's been short before and you have great hair be it long or short. But can I just tell you that when you mention the possibility of shaving your head like Peter Frampton?? Dude, you SO don't have the head for it. Remember when your brother shaved his head? Just a little too skinhead/front porch of Deliverance/brain surgery kind of look for my taste. And the men in your family just don't have heads that are shaped the right way for that kind of haircut. Here's my rule: KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR LIMITS. And another thing...the thing with all the hats? You and your brothers gotta stop wearing them. Just....stop.

Confession #137

It pisses me off how you become Mr. Wonderful when my friends come around. The second they arrive, you offer to make dinner and let me "relax, because I deserve it". They see this wonderful man and tell me constantly how lucky I am, because their men never offer to cook. When they leave, you go back to your lazy-ass self and do nothing. They say all those great things about you when you're in earshot, but they have your number, and so do I. They know you're really a lazy jerk who is just trying to put on a good show.

Confession #138

I'm not a wife so I don't know if my confession can really count, but the
fact that we have been together for 11 years and living together for almost
6 years and you say that I am the one for you and you know how lucky you are
to have me and blah, blah, blah, but you still (still!) have not proposed to
me? That really hurts. And makes me feel like the dumbest woman alive.

Confession #139

I know I hurt you in the past but there is only so much I can do to make it up to you. At some point you're going to have to accept that I am sorry and move on. You can't keep blaming me for your off-the-handle-rage at the most innocuous of things. When you get this way I feel psychologically abused. I know you didn't want to hear me say that last night, but I had to. It was the only way to get through to you. You say you're getting over it and that you don't need counselling but I am getting to the end of my rope. If changes don't start to happen soon I'll have to leave, it's the only way I can respect myself. I will not accept the fact that you've made me the root of all of your problems.

Confession #140

I know you're telling all your friends that you have no idea why we're getting a divorce, but they all know it's because of your porn addiction and total unwillingness to be a little less self-absorbed.

Monday, May 18, 2009

True Wife Confessions 291 thunderstorm watch

Confession #2901

Why am I sitting here sobbing my heart out over you? Why am I missing you so much? We haven't been together in over a year, yet I still want you, I still love you. I would give anything in the World for us to be together again. I dream about you lying in bed next to me, holding me, feeling so safe and protected. I wake up and can't believe it was just a dream. I've woken up with my pillow soaked with tears, I don't have any idea what I was dreaming about just that you were in my dream.

I want to move on, I want to find love again and be happy but anytime I think I'm capable of it, thoughts of you, of us, come flooding back to me. I love you still to this day and have a feeling I always will. I don't know what to do...

Confession #2902

Dear Husband, I’ve agreed to more counseling in spite of the fact that I filed for divorce. Why? Because I can’t be the quitter. I am going down fighting. I will not be the one who wasn’t willing to try every last option to save our marriage. Of course, until now I’ve been the only one trying. I’m totally doing my “I told you so dance” because our newest therapist basically told you that you suck last night. He basically told you that I was right about how you should be treating me and how we needed to be handling our problems. You jerk, you’ve been treating me like a piece of sh-- all this time and finally someone other than me has told you so. I just wonder if it will actually get through your thick head. I’m pretty sure that once you see this, though, you’ll bail on this marriage counselor like all the others claiming he’s not good enough. The thing is, as much as you doubt me, if you do that this divorce is actually going to go through this time. I deserve better but am willing to give it this one last chance. I’m sure you don’t believe that though. You think I can’t live without you. The thing is, I’m already happier without you.

Confession #2903

I am pissed off at how so emotionally withdrawn you can be. I am livid that before you re-entered my life I was happy and now I find it hard to enjoy the small things; at least without wondering how it would feel to experience them with you. I had loved the way life had finally came together. Three wonderful kids and a husband that all women would want. HE is kind, loving, attentive, supportive, a great father, wonderful lover, and HE would walk to the end of the earth to make HIS family happy. AND NEVER WITH COMPLAINT. I am pissed off that you can't get over the fact that my family moved away before we were old enough to really do anything about it. I am furious that life took us in to different directions and that the few times I reached out to you over the last TEN YEARS you never reached out to catch me! And now that I have found the happiness that I longed for you decide to express that you have always "loved me". You have came in and ripped my world apart! Then you dodge every chance to discuss who we have become and what we are doing. YOU aren't the only one who waited 10 years. I did too. I wish you would stop being a self loathing asshole, grow a pair, then grow up- You indecisive prick! The door has been closed before and I think it is time to close it again. I always thought that I had measured everyone next to you. But in this brief time with you I have realized that you could never measure up to the MAN in my life.
P.S. I love my awesome Hubby

Confession #2904

Small kindnesses mean more than you know. I stay here on the scraps you toss to me when I am angry with you. You will be nice for a day or so, then back to the brooding non-talking man I have come to expect living in the house with me. I can't keep waiting for your attention and I can't keep begging for it either.

Confession #2905

I LOVE you. I could never love anyone as much as you. Even that ex-boyfriend who may or may not be stalking me. You are it baby. I chose you. Get used to it.

Confession #2906

You are a porn addict and gay!! I am not in love with you anymore. I don't understand why you can't tell. I am having an affair, he knows every inch of my body, which you have never tried to explore. If you are not going to clean the house or your ass, then sleep somewhere else!! I want out!!!

Confession #2907

I am growing up at 44 years old. I always want to please everyone and I would push me aside, but lately it's like a volcano and it won't stop...It's not always about you sometimes it is about everyone else. I was playing softball the other night and I am not sure if you realized it but in the middle of the game you came onto the field where I was coaching and starting about your drama of the day. Really???

I am starting to have a small crush on this nerdy guy. The total opposite of you and everything you are. I don't like the behavior and I have told you this time and time again. Since the day you got off probation you have gone right back to the old ways and I really thought you got it.

Anyway, I'm not leaving you but I am going to keep telling you how your behaviors are annoying me and maybe you will get it. What do you think???
Love Me

Confession #2908

Ex husband,
Didn't we just go to court at the end of April and you were ordered to be paying a certain amount on the child support you owe? and didn't in return you pay $20? somehow i don't think that is quite going to catch you up on the over $14,000 you owe. I find it hard to believe you can drive a car, have a place to live, have a cell phone with internet, and take the kids out to eat every time you see them, yet you cant pay your child support. If i were to go back and do it all over again not only would i have never married you i would have never had any kids with you. Yes, that may seem unfair to the kids , but looking back it was the biggest mistake of my life to have children with you. You made so many promises about helping to take care of them and now its just a joke to you, to see how far you can run and start a job and then quit again before they catch up and start taking support out. You have turned out to be such a horrible example for a father to these kids and I'm embarrassed and ashamed to have call you their dad.

Confession #2909

Sex is only about procreation because there is no pleasure in it with you. I ALWAYS fake it....

Confession #2910

I never knew how good sex could be before I knew you. The 45 minutes you spend giving me oral so I relax? Amazing. The way you make sure that I am satisfied and happy, more amazing. I only hope that I do it for you the way you do it for me.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Joining the Facebook

Um - I think I created a Facebook page for TWC and I think you can become a fan...

See that button over there to the left - Yep. There it is.

I am currently the only fan. Don't leave me hangin' Bro.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

True Wife Confessions 13th edition, at Crystal Lake

Confession #121

After you left your wife to be with me, you somehow, mysteriously, turned me into her. So I left you and found myself.

Confession #122

I know you've forgiven your mother for leaving you as a child, but I will always hate her for it. And although I may seem charming when she's around, all I can think about is slapping her face. She doesn't deserve to have a son like you.

Confession #123

It's astounding to me that you can get all pissy and pouty like a 5 year old who's mother has said No treats when I say no most every morning to your daily request of "wanna be on top". You have turned sex into yet another chore I must do in order to keep peace in the house. And then when I decide I'm ready for some lovin' ... you punish me for not having been "on top" that morning and we BOTH go without pleasure. And I thought I was the high-maintenance one!

Confession #124

Sometimes I read your e-mail, especially the ones from the female high school friend you keep in touch with. It hurts me to know how many of our marriage problems you share with her, but I don't have the guts to tell you what I know.

Confession #125

My parents think we have the perfect marriage because I never talk to them about you and you never see them. If that changed, they'd probably hate you.

Confession #126

I have no idea how you got into medical school, much less graduated, with your lousy work ethic.

Confession #127

We both know that it is my job and salary that has carried us for years. I just know that it would deflate your manly ego if we acknowledged that I am the main earner. I allow you to have your own business, but my patience is growing very, very thin.

Confession #128

Sometimes I don't think that I'm in love with you. Sometimes I think it's a waste of both of our time for us to still be married. However, most of the time, I still think of you as a good friend, so I think I'll remain married for now. I'm worried that it will be just friendship for the rest of our lives though. I'm not sure if I can live with that.

Confession #129

I know you don't think I'm serious about leaving you if we don't get back into counseling. For the record, I've never been more serious.

Confession #130

If God forbid, something happened to you. I don't think our son would ever see your family again. They are overly judgmental and mean and I cringe when they just touch him.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

True Wife Confessions Etude 12

Confession #111

Your best friend hit on me, pretty hard. I was strangely flattered and offended at the same time.

Confession #112

Why do I have to leave the house for you to bathe, feed, and put the kids to bed? Couldn't you do it just once or twice a week? After all, that's still 5 or 6 days less than I'd be doing it. Ass.

Confession #113

I've spent waaay more while you've been away these five months, than I
will ever tell you, ever. I also let our daughter watch hours of t.v.
And I drink too much. And smoke quite a bit more than you imagine, as
well. And the worst part? I don't really give a shit.

Confession #114

Your stomping and pouting are no longer cute. Suck it up and learn how to manage your anger. A man in his mid 40's should have better coping skills than those you display.

Confession #115

When I ask you to change a diaper, it's not out of spite. I just want you to change a damn diaper. I work too, you're not the only one, and I know damn well that you can smell that shitty diaper the same as I can.

Confession #116

I am in love with another man. I will be leaving you..sooner then I thought. You never see it coming.

Confession #117

I have to admit that it is reassuring to hear you get impatient with the girls. I love listening to you sighing with exasperation and unable to form complete sentences because of whatever they've done. It helps me remember that my own impatience with them does not mean that I'm crazy.

Confession #118

When we thought our infertilty was because of your crappy sperm, I seriously considered leaving you.

Confession #119

I think your mom is the world's worst mother for the way she raised you and your siblings. There aren't any excuses for the things she did, and I'm never going to like her. Ever.

Confession #120

I tell everyone that you are the best and that there is no one in the world
like you, but when we have sex and I close my eyes, it's never you I see.
The memory of my old college boyfriend comforts me in our bed and sometimes
on the computer after I google him and track down his old friends so that I
know snippets of his life. He's an obsession.