Monday, November 22, 2010

True Wife Confessions 319 turkey feathers

Confession #3181

Sweetie, the coffee you make is like paint thinner. I don't know who told you at what point in your life that you made good coffee, but you don't...which is why I try to always "pick it up when I am out", even when you make me a pot in the morning. When you offer it to guests, I am always somewhat concerned if I should warn them off the toxic brew!

Confession #3182

As we try to plan our wedding and we are dealing with the impact the oil spill has had on your job and income, that is stressful on it's own. But all that you have taken on since I hurt my back in June- the housework and being the sole income.

I hate seeing everything fall on you and the craziness just got worse when I lost control of the PTSD and started having major anxiety and panic attacks. Like I told you, my aunt asked me if I was nervous about getting married again after my first marriage failed after 7 years married and 1 year dating. I told her I wasn't. You have stood by me through all of this and proposed over 2 months after I hurt my back. You tell me I am beautiful when I feel the world's ugliest from all the steroids. You have cried as you held me and I just fell apart because I am so tired of hurting and not being able to help out and can't stand what I see in the mirror.

I know I get snippy at times and I am sorry. It is mostly frustration with myself and what is going on with me that I end up wrongly taking out on you. Your mom amazes me. I can't say how much the support I have gotten from your sister has meant. I am so lucky to have you and I cannot wait to be your wife. I love you.

Confession #3183

We've had a nominally open marriage for five years. You've been with a couple of other women, and enjoyed it; until now, I've remained monogamous. Until now.

I've been dreaming about her for a year. She's been dreaming about me. We finally met again, and struck sparks off each other. I knew right away that it was time. She and I kissed for hours.

I brought her to meet you. I was so proud of you both: you for smiling sweetly and shaking the hand of my new lover, and her for having the courage to meet you, the primary partner in my life. And I felt so, so lucky.

I've never done this before. I know it could be complicated. But I adore you, my husband, and I cherish my new lover; you like and respect her, she adores her wife, and her wife hasn't met me but gives us her blessing. With all of us working hard to be open and real and loving, I think we have a shot at making something great.

Confession #3184

You are bipolar. I no longer see you as a 'go-getter' or intelligent. I don't care how often you try to convince yourself that you are not bipolar....I am not an idiot. I am a damn psych major, with 6 classes left, and as you belittle me and call me Dr. Phil, you are only upset because I figured you out. You cycle rapidly, you have cheated on me with men, you enjoy the sickest fetish I have ever seen....and NO---I will not participate in your disgusting acts of shoving things up your ass.(not that you have asked, but the thought of you in the shower alone with a shampoo bottle really really makes me nauseous). You also lie about the money you spend, put yourself first constantly, buy your own self things but get pissed at me when I spend money on the kids.....FOR THINGS THAT THEY NEED. You are so damn negative that I feel like I am suffocating in your presence. You spend zero time with any of the kids, you make promises you NEVER keep to them, and me. You only 'try' to change when I tell you I am fed up with the fighting, the nit picking, the ignoring, the selfishness. You are a HORRIBLE father. Thank God we do not have any children together. I raise your 2 boys, and my 3 kids while you sit your ass in front of the computer doing senseless things. I am tired of your justifying. Don't you ever come out of the bedroom again when I am out here reprimanding, that is the only time the kids even see you. They are all AFRAID of you. The only interactions you have with them are yelling. Screw you. Screw your drugged up baby mama that has caused so much drama, and got her kids taken away from her by CPS. I raise those kids while you play the 'wonderful father who has to clean up the fucked up mothers mess'. You always take credit for the stuff that I DO. You are the most self absorbed person I have ever met. You are the biggest liar I have ever met, and your friggin mean as hell. I am sick of you turning shit around on me. I told you last night for the first time ever that I think you're a bad father. You called me a fucking bitch. The truth must hurt you. Because you know I cook, clean, do homework, baths, and bed WITHOUT you. You sit your nasty ass at your desk and make videos, play games, get your own homework done, or go play in the garage with all of your new hunting gear that you spent almost 1,000 and will never use. I really hate how you put yourself first constantly! Yea, and I hate the fact that you feel the need to fart on EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME. You are so damn fowl I swear. Maybe if you stopped shoving things up your ass you wouldn't have so much air to release you gross fucking pig. And I can't stand it when you walk around naked and shove your cock in my face like you do. I'd rather bite it off, and trust me, it isn't a way to turn me on.....AT ALL.

Confession #3185

I wish you'd warned me that by marrying you I was giving up sex and gifts.

Seriously, we've had no sex since the night before our wedding four years ago. And my birthday present from you this year -- the FIRST since we were married -- was a Starbucks card that I walked you to Starbucks to buy for me.

No sex and no presents. I suppose I should be glad you're not hassling me to give up cake.

Confession #3186

I love you darling. And I find myself heartbroken trying to figure out, why after everything we've been through and everything we've shared, you've chosen to abandon me the way you have. I understand and agree with what you did, but this... it's unbearable. I am more in love with you than you'll ever know, and some days I think that you don't even remember who I am anymore. What scares me the most is that I'm starting to hate you. Because I don't understand this anymore. I now think that everything you ever said to me was a lie, that you never really loved me at all. Maybe I was just a means to an end for you, but all I really wanted was for us to be a family again. If you want to continue on like this, if you don't really love me at all, if you think you can live the rest of your life without me... then go to hell. I hate you for throwing us away. Every time you think about me, though I doubt you ever will, I hope you burn with the regret of knowing how you broke me. Because the only unforgivable mistake you ever made, was abandoning me like the trash you apparently think I am. Congratulations, I'm the mistake! You live with the regret, you've destroyed me enough to last me a lifetime.

Confession #3187

I love my husband dearly. DEARLY. But I have suddenly developed a crush on his friend...and I have no idea why. He's not even all that hot. What is THAT about?

He's a very nice guy, and he's an artist, so I keep thinking maybe that's it...I'm an artist and so is he (though we are on two different ends of the spectrum art-wise). He's a redhead and I've always had a thing for redheads. I never felt anything towards this guy until recently and it just kind of snuck up and me and slapped me in the head. I don't talk to him regularly, I don't see him that often. I don't get it! If one is happily married, why would she crush on someone else? It's driving me nuts because I don't understand the attraction. Maybe I'm just bored and looking for someone else aside from my hubby to give me an ego boost by noticing I'm cute. Maybe I'm struggling with getting older and noticing the fine lines and not as perky breasts. Maybe I'm missing the butterflies one gets when first starting a relationship (my hubby and I have been together for 7 years).

I'm trying to put the kibosh on the fantasy but it's just so fun to fantasize...and I know that's all it can ever be. I don't think he's into me (like I said, we rarely see or talk to each other), nor do I want to succumb to that "grass is always greener" BS by doing something stupid that I would regret. My husband is a sweetheart and by all rights things are very good between us both in and out of the why is it that I keep thinking about this friend? Crap.

Confession #3188

Dear Dickhead I mean hubby,
After five years I have to say I’m still in disbelief at how quickly you changed. One minute you were the love of my life, sweet, wonderful, great with my son, and a communication pro. The next minute you were a raging drunk with a penchant towards violence and hateful words. Even though you’ve been sober over the last few years you still haven’t changed. If anything you’ve become even more controlling and angry. I’m no longer able to even keep anything I want in our room. Everything has to be your way even down to how many bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash etc. I can have in the shower. Maybe you should be happy about the fact that I want to take care of myself and I want to improve myself but you aren’t. You only put me down for it. You wonder all the time why I had an affair well guess what you would have one too if you were married to you. You don’t appreciate the fact that I work full time plus take care of the house and when your laid off you still expect me to do all the work at home and away from home. FUCK YOU. Then you have the nerve to complain when I don’t help out. YOU DON’T WORK. When I stayed home with the kids the house and the kids were my job. Cleaning, dinner and even the sex and the blow jobs. Everytime you get laid off you argue with me about me not doing enough to help you out. I don’t make dinner blah blah blah maybe I’m a little tired from the 2 hour commute and the 8 hours of work I just did. Just once I’d love to hear something nice come out of your mouth. Instead your just always complaining about me. It seems I don’t do anything right except for sucking your dick. What a lucky man you are you get to treat me like shit and yet you still manage to get laid three to four times a week. Lucky you that you are at least good in bed otherwise you’d be joining the ranks of my ex-husband. No pussy, no maid , lonely and miserable with only the kids to keep you company. I will say the only thing that has changed is that even though you complain about doing it at least now you help out a little. I guess you got tired of me bitching and moaning and then ultimately not doing it or maybe your just afraid that if you don’t shape up a little I might end up fucking someone else again. I hope some day soon you wake up and realize that I’m not that bad and that you should be more appreciative. I won’t hold my breath though.

Confession #3189


You used to have my heart..........I was gaga over you, until you showed me that all you truely cared about was yourself and getting ahead in work......... When I found out I was pregnant I was scared but so happy, when I told you, you layed the guilt on thick and convinced me that this would ruin your career and your life and that I had to get an abortion which I swore I'd never do, I lost my family because of that but you promised me you'd spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to me. Then low and behold shit hit the fan and I'm the one left holding the bag and your nowhere to be found! I'm sad I didn't see your controlling selfishness sooner, I would have kept the baby and told u to go fuck yourself! Once right after the abortion you told me that you felt like u forced me into it and you felt incredibly guilty.... not wanting you to hurt I told you that I made the decision knowing it was best for us as a couple...... I lied I felt forced and everytime I have a nightmare and wake up screaming I hate u a little more! Like I said you used to have my heart......I used to be gaga over you...... You crushed my heart and stole a piece of my soul and ill never look at you the same again!

Confession #3190

It drives me crazy when you rush me to get out of the house. Mostly because I will be standing there with my coat on and ready to walk out the door while you spend the next 15 minutes wandering around the house getting ready. You say that I am slow in getting ready - HAH!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

You say Truu Wife, I say No.

Last week I wrote a pretty cathartic post on my home blog about an incident that happened to me in 2007.

I contended then, and still do, that my blog idea and name were lifted and used by someone who had prior knowledge of my blog...and had written a fan email with a request for me to give the content (for free) to the Huffington Post.

I felt pretty good after that post. I had finally spoken, out loud, what I had alluded to and danced around for three long years. I named the person - Romi Lasally.

There were lots of comments on that post, and some bridge re-building has begun with some bloggers. I am eternally grateful for that.

I am cross posting the entry I put up today.

Because this just can't continue. It isn't right.


So, after thinking and listening and emailing and talking, I felt better about the situation around True Wife Confessions and the obvious derivation.

I decided to wander over and look at the site...You know, what the heck.

Which is when I saw "Truu Wife Confessions"

Oh Sweet Jeebus. My blood pressure rose dramatically.
But I did nothing at first. I thought. I meandered.

And then I emailed, through the website.

I stated that the title was derivative but for ONE letter, and I wanted it taken down.

The response?

Thanks for reaching out Dawn. This vertical has been up on the site for almost 2 years (since I relaunched

Would you have any interest in taking this vertical over and using the confessional on your site and pulling your content into the truu blog?

truuconfessions works on a lifestage model (much like the knot, the nest, etc) and wives was always a category and then its own vertical. Just as the huffingtonpost creates "big news pages" around topics, that's all I did and continue to do with other topics.

I'm sorry for any bad blood in the past - no intention to "plagiarize" as u say. If you'd like to work together on this section (with a fair rev share split) I'd be happy to talk by phone or email.


Um, Hell No? Hell to the Nizzo?

My response:

No. I have no interest in partnering with you.
I want you to take it down, regardless of how long it has been up.

Dawn Rouse

Within Minutes, I got this:

Thanks for your quick response.

Sorry. I'm not going to go in and change the infrastructure of my site.


And My final response:

The concept and title is derivative of MY site, which has been in place since 2006.

The is my last request to take down that section. I should, by rights, ask for a portion of your revenue for the entire time you have been using the name. I am not.
Take down Truu Wife Confessions.

Dawn Rouse

Let's see what the next chapter brings.

Updated to add the Contact form for "Truu wife". Feel free to use it - Hell, even if you want to tell Romi that I am a spiteful bitch who should shut up. Just let your voice be heard. I am not being quiet this time around.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

True Wife Confessions 318 pieces of halloween candy

Confession #3171

I have been taking care my dying father for a couple of months. You say that you can't complain, because I have to do it, but then you DO complain. Also, I have begged, whined, yelled, discussed, cried, and politely requested that you help around the house. You always say no, that vacuuming, pet care, etc. is my job, or you just shrug as I run around trying to lay everything out for the week in the three hours I have sometimes on weekends when my family helps. My dad CAN'T BE LEFT ALONE. I am the only one without kids. I bought you a video game for our anniversary, and now feel like I've drafted our divorce papers. You play every waking second, even when I cone home, having been given the night off by my family, who wants me to "have fun with my husband." Little do they know that i'll be ignored for the entire night.

Today you said you didn't want to see me. You were mad that I was upset that you didn't spend time with me when I came home, which you SAID we'd do. Not to mention the house literally stinks at times. I am working full time, caring for my father, taking care of our home and cooking for you, all while you gain weight so you can't fit into your clothes, and play that stupid fucking game. I never knew how truly childish and selfish you really were. You are not a grown-up. You have said you have no respect for me, that you have no respect for anyone but yourself. What in the heck is the matter with you?

My father told me that the money he leaves me is not to go to you, or my sibling's spouse, either, that it's for US. I thought we were one flesh, should share, etc., but now I would say to my dad, fucking-a right! I'm not paying off your irresponsibility just so you can leave or cheat in a debt-free environment. I really love you, and you have your awesome moments, but generally you're being an unbelievable, unhelpful prick. I am sorry, though, that when you said "at least I'm not disabled" I said "it feels like you are". It does feel like that, because you're glued to the couch, but I shouldn't have said it.

My confession is, divorce is not as unpalatable to me as it used to be. Also, with the way you acted today, I believe you're cheating on me. We could have spent the afternoon and evening together. It's a rare and beautifully warm day, but you didn't want to see my face and went "shopping" instead. Weak.

Straighten up, you ridiculous asshole. Grow the fuck up, you gigantic child, before I truly begin to hate you instead of just being pissed.

Ps-at this rate, I think you'd make a shitty father and I'm glad we don't have kids yet.

Confession #3172

You know that dream I told you, where we got married and had two kids? It’s no longer my dream. Your immaturity and your indiference made me realize that I deserve someone who really loves me. Sometimes we’re so busy that we only see each other once a week… so would it kill you to text or call me at least once a day? I’m always the one reaching out, the one who can’t stand days of silence and missing your voice. And you know what? I don’t want to wait around for you to grow up and one day realizing I’m in my 30s and still living in my parents’ house, while you’re still trying (and failing) to graduate. In your mind, you’re still stuck in your teenage years and always will be. You’re a spoiled brat, wanting to live off your parents until you’re old, not having any ambitions of your own! One day I’ll find someone who will walk by my side, not someone I have to drag around like you.

Confession #3173

Sometimes I step back and realize I'm married to a racist, size-ist, sexist alcoholic, and I just can't believe I did this to myself.

Sometimes I believe I let it happen so that you'd be forced to release your carcinogenic anger. (Hey, you're 240 days sober. It's a start.) Sometimes I believe I deserve an open-minded, self-aware husband who thinks before he opens his mouth and spews hate, and even realizes why the hate and disdain doesn't make sense, and that one day I'm going to have one of those husbands, and it'll be you.

But most times I believe I don't deserve any better. I deserve to be stuck here.

Confession #3174

I love you. You are the most amazing thing that has ever been mine. Sometimes I neglect you. I become irratated with my responsibilities and my desires and I forget that you have them too. I forget that it is you, not me, that wakes up and heads off to work at 4:30 AM. I forget that it is you that then comes home and sits beside me, spending your time with me instead of your friends. That it is you that continually reminds me that men are not all bad. And that bad can go good and not just the other way around.

I noticed your absyss yesterday, the one you got from shooting herion before you met me. I looked back at the pictures of us. You're the only man who has ever treated me right and I remembered the story you told me, when you were in prison having withdrawals. Shaking and crying out on a cold prision floor while the guards made fun of you. I wish I had been there then.

Then I remind myself that I am here now. My head on your chest as you caress my bare back and think only of me, not of other women. You are a changed man and you give me the best you can. You deserve the same. I'm sorry.

Confession #3175

He had been looking for me for years, he said. He kept checking all the social network sites to see if I was out there, somewhere (I’m not). And three months ago, after nearly 28 years, he found me through a professional network site. I nearly fainted when I got the first email, asking if I used to be (the name he knew me by). This man was probably the biggest influence in my life on the person I was to become – all in good ways. But he broke my heart. I left him in California, came home to the Midwest and never sought him out again. I wanted to – oh, how I wanted to – but I didn’t. I was too proud.

He’s happily married with two small children – this man who said he would NEVER get married and NEVER wanted kids. He lives in Ireland now. I’m happily married to the father of our two mostly grown children and live 6 time zones away from him.

He told me that he’s thought about me once a week for 28 years and wondered where I was and how my life turned out. My picture is on the website and his 2nd email to me said ‘You’re more beautiful than I could have imagined.’

I probably should have stopped this. But the very idea that he’d been thinking of me even more often over the years than I had thought of him was an ego boost of major proportion.

I didn’t tell my husband he contacted me. We correspond through my work email solely. The messages have settled into a friendly pattern. Nothing will come of this – I quit loving him in that way literally decades ago. But I’m not going to tell my husband.

I’m keeping this all for myself – I haven’t told a soul. I cherish pondering the fact that I truly did mean as much to him as he did to me. It’s a little box of joy I can open in my mind any time that I need it.

Confession #3176

Hi Honey;
I just surfed through some wife rants. Some of these women are hurt and abused, some are just assholes. I decided that I am not going to "let it all hang out", but I will hang out most of it.
Foremost, I love you, I love your mind, I love your body. I wish you would share more of them with me. Your son and I are doing some cleaning, I do not know how far it will go, but we are trying.
I know I am an asshole with the budget, I will try and do better.
You, possibly because you are very tired, have put me through physical hell lately. When we were first married, you wanted sex once, maybe twice a month, and even then it did not seem that you really wanted it. Through the middle years, things got some better, but I still got more sex from my hand than I did from / with you. They say that a woman's high drive years are her 30's, and those are behind us. You now are premenopausal, and I am scared shitless, that the rest of my sex life is going to be like those first years.
We have not made love in nearly two weeks. In the past days, I have been torn apart physically and mentally. Physically, it feels like I have a headache in my prostrate, and the pain from this has gone as high as mid back. Emotionally and mentally, I have been on a roller coaster from hell. I hate masturbation, even though I do it, and I have not done it recently. I WANT MY WIFE.
I have thought about getting a friend with benefits. I have thought about leaving. I thought this morning that its to bad one man can only be married to one woman, that with multiples, there would be more income, more help domestically, and more sex. But that is not right.
I love you, and I guess I love you enough to endure what I am going through. I hate that one of these nights you will be just amourous enough to give it up, and then the hell cycle of "oh, yeah that was nice", "man I miss her", no sex, but cuddle me, "I am coming apart at the seems, its been two weeks", will start again. I am about ready to forget the whole sex thing, but the hell of it is, I am probably too horny to do so.
I am happy with you - you are a wonderful person, but I am not happy emotionally or physically .I need you more, it seems, than you need me. You can enjoy yourself at the computer, and get cuddled when we sleep, and it is enough. IT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME, I am dying inside, I want to date you, talk with you, kiss you and F**CK THE SH*T out of you.
I enjoy what sex we have, because I really enjoy / get off pleasing you. I have told you that I need to be touched and how, yet you cannot seem to bring yourself to be interested enough in me / sex to do it. I am really having a tough time here. As hard as I can, I am yours forever, but if I would ever do anything I shouldn't, know that its not all me.
I love you very much, enough to put up with life as it is, and if I can endure it, life with little to no sex. Please don't make me live there
Your Husband

Confession #3177

I love you husband. You are my perfect match in every way. For 8 years we were so close and completely in love. I don't doubt that you love me now, you just love money more. I hate the fact that it is so important for you to work late every night, we are not hurting for money. I understand your need to secure the future for our family, but if you continue to neglect the security of our relationship you will have no family in the future. I never thought I was the type of person to cheat, but I met someone who makes me feel like I'm important, beautiful and alive. We talk all throughout the day. Even though I know it's probably fake, I still enjoy knowing someone will answer when I call and not want to hang up. But he is not what or who I want- I want YOU and I want back what we used to have in the beginning. Please listen to me and don't ignore what I have been saying for so long. I don't want to hurt you but I fear that this man is eroding my thick "I'm married" barrier far more quickly than I thought.

Confession #3178

You make me feel so ugly and I don't know how to stop from hating myself for hating you. Why am I not enough? No matter what I do- no matter what new clothes I buy or how much I work out or how much weight I lose you still don't want me, you still don't touch me, you still hide and find all the ways you can to look at and look for naked photos of other women online. Do you think I believed you that the dating site memberships I found on you really belonged to someone else? The memberships dating back through our entire marriage, engagement, and dating relationship. I don't even know you any more and I worry you are having an affair and just hope I catch you undeniably if you are. You find ways to avoid me and lie and tell me you are too tired for me to touch you. I lied when I pretended I didn't know what that crust in your underwear was. I just wanted you to know I find it. Asshole. I want to save enough money to get the hell out and divorce your sorry lying ass.

Confession #3179

You quit drinking (again-- and hopefully for the last time) and I want to tell everyone how proud I am of you but that would require divulging personal things to people who really don't need to know. But I am proud of you. I can't imagine what you deal with in your head on a daily basis and I wish I could do something to fix that, but I know (and you know, too) that alcohol only makes it worse. I can't imagine my life without you, my mind goes blank, and I would do anything to keep us together and happy. Anything. I love you. P.S. Being sober makes your dick harder---another plus!

Confession #3180

I let you change me. How did i end up here with someone so unmotivated, unconfident, socially awkward and with a beer
belly? I don't understand how a person gets gout so many times and continues to suck food down like a vacuum. To make
matters worse you refuse to see a doctor.

I try and try to encourage and support you in the 9 years we've been together. You have so many resources at your hands
but yet you choose to work in a retail store for someone else instead of creating your own business, which you have the
talent to do. Your boss offered to sell you his business and you are still thinking about it. You are too old for this
shit. Get off your ass and open your own business. I offered to help write your business proposal and even suggested
business investors(your family member's who would say yes) and my help in running your business but yet it's all too
mature and serious for you to discuss ("I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW'). In my teens i made alot of
financially mistakes because of my disfunctional family life. I'm still financially paying for those mistakes and this
is holding me back in my career. I need to get my masters degree and bring this up for discussion all the time. Again
you have the finacial means to help me (us really) but you never say a word. You don't seem to understand that my
(financial) success is also your success. I would do anything in my power to help you improve yourself but i don't seem
to get the same from you.

I'm truly tired of this relationship and want you to be the one to end it. I can't find it in myself to end it with you
for the third time (you get so depressed). I truly thought i loved you and would be with you because we share so many
laughs. I'm tired of staying in all the time. We argue so much because you try to control me and attack my personality because you are unhappy with your own and you really have no close friends. I find your controlling behaviour emotionally abusive and when i say so you become enraged. I'm tired of your jealousy and have explained i will not allow you to dictate my friendships.

Please hurry up and end this because someone else has my attention now and he is just waiting for me and has no idea i feel the same way. I have known him much longer then you and never paid him any attention. Well since he relocated to our city, i just realized he has all the qualities i have always needed in a man. You are not a man but a mama's boy.
I can't even bear to see you naked anymore and would rather masturbate because i find you physically unattractive. And yes you are right when you say people must wonder why i am with you.