Monday, November 30, 2009

True Wife Confessions 305 bird seeds on the ground

Confession #3041

I'm curious as to whether or not you still take Viagra, but I have to confess, it doesn't matter anymore whether you do or you don't. You take care of my sexual needs and you're a very loving partner. Whether or not you pop those pills doesn't make a bit of difference.

Confession #3042

I love my husband. And I'm having an affair. At first I didn't think I was--my husband and I found another couple attractive then found out over many months they maybe the kind that switch (they were), one party led to another. Turns out he and I were attracted, my husband and his wife aren't. we started an email, text, phone call relationship for 6 months. We had sex a few weeks ago for the first time and it was unbelievable. Today my husband asked if I had sex with him. I told him "no". He was glad, he doesn't want me to be with him That makes it really wrong, right? I love my husband so much. I can't imagine a better man, best friend, so perfect. He has ED. What do I do? I'm so confused, I want my BF but I think I need to hear the truth. Am I wrong? I love my husband and deny him nothing, he just can't preform. I'm young, not that young, young enough to really enjoy sex but old enough to know I only have a few precious years left. Thanks for the input.

Confession #3043

Dear Sweet Husband,

Sometimes I don't know why you married me. I feel like I can't get anything right lately, and yet, there you are - my biggest fan. You would rather us live dirt poor than me go to a job that makes me physically sick. I would rather us be poor than me be constantly sick too, but, you are there to comfort me when I whine about how I am looking for a job and I can't seem to find one. You have no idea how in awe I am, or how in love with you I am. I am so glad I left my ex-husband for you - you were worth every bit of the pain and misery of divorce.

It's a really tough job market out there, and I know you know that. You do whatever you can do for us and I just hope you can see that I appreciate all that you do. I appreciate that you don't get upset with me when I don't come to bed until hours after you do. I wish I could be more of morning person with you but I have tried, and I am not. Thank you for not forcing that on me.

When you told me you were going to stop smoking, but you were okay with me smoking, I was beyond amazed. How great are you? I wish we never had to be apart. You are my best friend, and you know just how to make me laugh. This morning singing the Pink Dino song and then quoting "O Brother Where Art Thou" to our kitties? I really just wanted to throw you back in bed and forget about the rest of the world today and spend some time with you.

I hope the proverbial shit actually ends up missing the fan, because, I really don't want to have to struggle any more to be with you. Being with you isn't a struggle, but you know our daily lives have so much turmoil. Well, I take that back. I have so much turmoil. I'm a depressed, fat ugly cow and I don't know how you can stand me.

But you still think I am beautiful. You hold me in you arms at night and spoon with me. When you wake me up, you turn off the alarm and wake me with your kisses and love, and I think to myself if you die, I would never find love again. Never in my life have I ever known love like this, and I'll be damned if I ever let go of you. I'm a better me because I have you.

I guess I just want to thank you for being the best husband I could ever have. Thank you for loving me, and for marrying me and being my best friend. We have so many years left together and I am so blessed to be your wife. As long as I have you by my side, I can do anything!

I love you so much, I belong to you.

Confession #3044

Some days I miss the way life was, or could be. I miss being happy. I miss loving. I miss wanting to touch or be touched. I miss being treated right, asked rather than told. I miss being thought of as smart. I miss being listened to, being heard, talked to rather than screamed at. I miss my feelings being considered, not disregarded. I miss having my opinion count, being able to ask a question, being able to talk without trying to figure out how I should sound to not anger. I miss my best friend.

I think its too late. I think I want out. Im scared it can't be fixed, or that I am so angry, hurt, and broken, that I don't want it to be fixed.

I want quiet, yet want to scream. I want to dance with my kids and see no fear, hear no tears. I want to stomp, not tiptoe. I want to cry, so that I can laugh.

I am so tired.....

Confession #3045

Know those tears that I thought were so sweet at first? Well 10 years and about 10,000 tears later they are really getting old. Every time I see you crying I want to tell you to grow a pair and suck it up and be a man. That or punch you in the back of the head so at least then you'd really have something to cry about.

I mean seriously, do you really need to cry that much? I'm a freaking female and I don't cry half as much as you. Tears cause your dad died, yes. Tears cause you had a bad day, not so much.

Confession #3046

Until recently I co-slept with the kids, almost 5 mos and 2 yr 5 mos in their room. Hubby sleeps in our room and always closes the door, even though I have asked him repeatedly to keep it open because I wanted to try to transition into going back to our bed soon. So, since he had been closing the door I decided enough was enough. When I changed the youngest (which was a nice messy nasty diaper) I left it in our room and closed the door. When hubby went in to go to sleep he got a nice smelly surprise. I could hear him complaining for several minutes after he opened the door.

Confession #3047

I really wish you would put your foot down with your family. Your mom is her own worst enemy and would really benefit from an anti anxiety medication. And the whole calling your mom 17 times a day is really agitating. I feel like you share more with her than with me. Seriously it's a problem when we have to get a more expensive cell phone plan because you call her so much. I think it's great that you have such a close relationship with your mother, really I do. But I feel like there's 3 people in our marriage, and it's getting really old. That's probably why I stopped sharing my day with you, I just feel deflated I guess. I giess I feel like I should be there first person you talk to instead of her now. Maybe that's selfish of me.I've asked you, in a completely respectful way to tone down the incessant calling and sharing EVERY SINGLE BIT of information with her, and you say "what am I supposed to do, not talk to my mom?!". That's not what I meant and you know it. You found it necessary to tell her I had the beginning stages of cervical cancer. Really?! I'm a private person and you SHOULD know that seeing that we've been together for 6 years, but you were shocked that I was pissed when she called me to try and talk to me about it. And I feel terrible even telling you that you are pissing me off because you're such a great husband, I know women would give anything to have someone like you. And the whole thing with your brother. He's a piece of shit. He always has been. You can't protect your family from his selfish and ignorant behavior, so either sit down and discuss it like a man with him, or just let it go. I'm tired of hearing his name already, that's also stressing me out. Shit or get off the pot already.

Confession #3048

To my husband, remember when you invited your friend for supper and you passed out on the couch. While you were out in a drunken stupor, your friend pushed me over the next to your pulled my panties off and slide his massive cock all the way to my ovaries and fucked very slowly and guess what I think I am pregnant. Today after you have left for work, he will come and do me again to make sure I have his baby. So carry on with your little tart.

Confession #3049

Love of my life, I confess. The sex with you is awesome and I'd love it if we did it every night. But just laying in your arms is much, much more important to me. So please don't feel like you're disappointing me when you're too tired to do it. You're not. As long as you wrap your arms around me when you come to bed, I'll be a very content lady.

Confession #3050

I went looking for our kids ADD meds today. I needed a boost, some motivation.
You've either hidden them or thrown them out.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

True Wife Confessions Age 21, and wants to buy you a drink

Confession #201

When you ask me to "help" with your resume and job application and I "forget" about the deadline, it's really just my passive-aggressive way of saying "I'm not your fucking mother, and I will not do this for you. A grown man should be able to figure this shit out on his own."

Oh, and I really, really like making more money than you.

Confession #202

You don’t know this honey….but I dip your toothbrush in the toilet! You want to talk shit to me…suffer the consequences! It never dawns on your dumb ass that you have a fresh toothbrush every couple of weeks???? And that there are some days that I would rather hang myself then kiss you???

Confession #203

I told you that of course I love your son (my stepson) but I’m really counting the days until he moves the hell out of MY house. When you are not around, we ignore each other.

Confession #204

I have slept with three married men in my life. Only one of them while I was married, and that, was my husband. The others were yours. I'm not sorry. You don't deserve them.

Confession #205

I realize you perform hard, physical labor at your job, and that I do not. However, I went to college and my job is mentally exhausting. The fact that your body is tired does not give you a free pass on all housework. If your attitude doesn't change, I will leave your ass someday

Confession #206

Every day you come home and ask me, "Did we get any mail?". And every day, I
resist the urge to kick you in the balls. If you get any mail, I leave it
for you. If you didn't, it's not there. I know you want to believe that it's
hidden away just to piss you off, I'm sure. I'm so tired of that question!!

Confession #207

Don't get mad if you wake up in the morning and I'm not laying next to you. There are times you are so flatulant that the noise and smell not only wake me up but KEEP me up. And my only recourse is to move to another bedroom to get some sleep. You're worse than the damn dog when she's had too much people food!

Confession #208

You are right when you say you do not know how to dance. I'm just being nice when I tell you that you are a good dancer. You're really not.

Confession #209

I found out what kind of porn you look at online. It gives me an entirely new perspective on who you are and I find the things that turn you on absolutely disgusting. Its made me question our entire marriage and and now every time you touch me my skin crawls and I feel physically ill because I think you are truly sick. Its even made me unsure of what kind of father you will be and I don't know if we should have children until you get help about this. The worst part is that I don't feel like I can talk to you about it. And I still love you so much.

Confession #210

Why do you feel the need to grab my ass EVERY single time you walk past me? It gets old. Fast.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Ask a Sophist

Go Ahead. Ask.

Monday, November 16, 2009

True Wife Confessions 304 stainless steel

Confession # 3031

You're a perfect husband, perfect father & my best friend. Sometimes I think you notice everything else but me, even when my eating disorder is obvious to everyone else, you still don't say a word, when your word is the only one I want to hear

Confession # 3032

I'm going through a divorce and my boyfriend just broke up with me.
Guess which hurts worse...why?

Confession # 3033

I have never been more tempted in a relationship by so many attractive men! However, i'm marrying you and i love you. There will never come a day when i cheat on you because you are above all those men i see. They don't hold my heart, you do.

Confession # 3034

You hate trying to learn new technology. I don't enjoy learning it but I'm pretty good at it. If I take the time to try to explain something you'll need to know, SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION. Ask questions. Write stuff down. Don't distract me with trivial shit that happened today. The next time you ask me how to work the remote I'm going to respond, "so many day students came to the night class that there wasn't any room to spread around." The next time you ask me to load songs into your MP3 player, I'll tell you "my back tires are going to need to be replaced soon."

Confession # 3035

The first time we had sex, I smelled shit. I didn't stop and have you
go wipe your ass because I figured shit happens, and as long as it
stayed where it was, I'd be fine. Now I think you did it on purpose to
test my self-respect. Of course, it seems like every interaction we
had, you were testing my self-respect. Were you looking for an excuse
to treat me like something you need to wipe off your ass? Or are you
just that fundamentally nasty? I like to think that if you ever get
with a girl who doesn't accept your shit, you'll treat her with the
respect I deserved. I prefer to conceive of you as manipulative and
judgmental, rather than just a disgusting hypocrite. It's easier on my
self esteem.

Confession # 3036

To my ex-husband:

I appreciate that you lost your job. I understand that jobs are hard to find right now. I am proud for you that you are trying to better yourself by going back to college, but at the same time, I still have to support our child. That child support check that you were sending didn't do a whole lot, but I still depended on it.

While you're off having the time of your life in college (and reporting it all back to me), I am having to take 100% responsibility of our child. Again.

So keep going to college if you want. I'm all for it. Just remember, though, you aren't a kid anymore. You can't just go to school part of the day and then blow the rest of the day. Get out there and get a job and help support this child that you so badly wanted once upon a time! I need some help here!

Confession # 3037

I wish you'd be a bit more concerned about the blatantly apparent fact that your brother wants me. I think it got a bit over the top when he brought his new squeeze to the family dinner and she looked THAT much like me. Are you expecting me to keep quiet about it until its too late?

Confession # 3038

You stupid fool. You think that your smarter than me, just because I haven't confronted you about your affair with one of your co-workers. You silly man. I m just bidding my time. I'm done being your wife. The worse part is that I thought that we were actually making progress into being in a loving relationship. You are not the first man to cheat on his pregnant wife and you won't be the last. I will have the last laugh though because I started using your tooth brush to clean the toilet. Now every morning when you brush your teeth I have to stop myself from laughing.

Confession # 3039

I have been your secretary for 15 years. We have had a close friendship almost from the first day you hired me. That is nice and all but the truth is that I have really strong feelings for you. We are both married and I would never want to do anything that would hurt your family or my family. I am not the cheating type and neither are you. That is part of what I love about you. I would not leave my spouse and I know you would not either. We talk all the time and we both know that neither of us are happy in our marriage and stick around for our kids. Here is the thing, we are not getting any younger. Fifteen years is a long time to have feelings for someone. I don't want to die without showing you how I feel about you. There are times when we are working and you are close to me that I am sure you feel the same way I do. When you are out of the office you always take my calls even when you are busy. You don't even seem to mind if I don't have much to say. Do you know I am really just calling cause I miss you and want to hear you voice? When you got sick earlier this year I was so afraid I would lose you and you would never know how I felt about you for so long. Let's both do something for ourselves for a change. Why don't we forget about work and home for a few hours and just be together? I know you are respectful, you are 12 years older than me, you are my boss and would never make the first move. Give me an opportunity and I assure you I will. I think you are smart, sexy, kind, funny and I cherish every minute I am with you. Next time you go on a business trip, take me with you. I promise you won't regret it.

Confession # 3040

You delight me in ways I never thought possible. I love buying costumes to dress up for you and you glow when I walk out in a new outfit. Yes, the sex is great - Amazing - but it is the play, the silliness, the openness in our love that is grounds me to you. I love laughing with you.

Monday, November 09, 2009

True Wife Confessions 20/20 , Same as hindsight

Confession #191

I sometimes wish you would be hit by a bus, but only if you push your mother in front of it first.

I hate your mother. I hate the fact that your fear of her is stronger than your self-respect or your love for me. I hate sharing my home with her. I hate having her constantly hovering over us, especially when you're not home and I'm alone with the kids and she's constantly double-checking to make sure I'm not off on the corner smoking crack with my pimp and leaving them alone to play in traffic. I hate the fact that she might outlive you. I hate the fact that my hatred of her is sometimes as strong as my love for you.

Confession #192

Don't get all pissy at ME when I don't mail the bills out. YOU gave them
to me at the last minute and said they HAD to be mailed out TODAY. YOU
waited until the LAST DAY to pay them and expected ME to drop everything
to mail them. You want them out TODAY? Mail them out today your OWN
SELF!! Know how to use a stamp? GOOD!!

Confession #193

On your days off don't call me at the office to pretend to ask me how my day is going. I hear the cupboards slamming, I hear the refrigerator door. So it's no shock to me that as soon as you get the pleasantries over with you ask me if there's anything to eat, or what you should have for lunch. I swear to god you will forever be 8 years old. But the thing is you're 33 years old, and I am not your mother. So grow the fuck up and make yourself a sandwich.

Confession #194

You know what, asshole? I'm sick and tired of being the one to find and
kill the mouse. I'm tired of being the one to relight the pilot light
or being the one to refill the propane tank because you're too fucking
scared you'll blow up. Guess I'm the disposable one, eh? I'm also damn
sick of being the shield you use to deflect conflict from your fucked
up family. I kept your house, cooked your meals, washed your clothes,
jacked you off (and got nothing in return but a sticky hand), and put
up with your infidelity. NO MORE, ASSWIPE! I'm beyond done with you.
Your psycho mother can have you back. Tell her to bring out that while
dress she wore to our wedding; she'll need it to marry you.

Confession #195

If we lived closer, I would be in his arms right now instead of yours.

Confession #196

I know you married me out of a sense of duty because I was pregnant. I know I drive you crazy. I know I can't cook or clean and am a terrible housewife. I know I can be incredibly moody and irritable. I know I don't compare to your ex-wife. I know you don't love me. But thank you for not saying it out loud.

Confession #197

Quit wetting the bed and pretending it didn't happen or acting like you don't know why it happened. It happens every time you drink half a bottle of whiskey before bed, which has been at least once a week for the last two and a half years.

Confession #198

Farting is not that funny. Especially when you do it. Then it's just disgusting. I swear you must be eating beans all day long at work, because your gas is beyond toxic.

Confession #199

I really wish you'd do something about all of that back hair. Its really gross.

Confession #200

It makes me uneasy -- how you are able to just turn your emotions on and off like a switch. It makes me wonder how much I can trust you.