Tuesday, July 31, 2007

True Wife Confessions 199 reasons to love comics

Confession #1981

OK so you went to the parent teacher conference - had we been still married I know for a fact you wouldn't have gone. Heaven forbid you missed anytime from work while we were married.

What upsets me is when his teacher asked about the field trip on Friday and I asked when the money was due you didn't offer to pay for him to go. It was $9.00 freaking bucks. I had forgotten to pay it when I dropped him off on Tuesday morning. Then you had the nerve to tell me you didn't have any money on you after I asked you for a few buck since I only had a $5.

You then went to your car and grabbed a wad of money and gave me 4 $1.00 bills. All this after I said forget it I'll go to the mac and come back. You have him - you could have paid the money tomorrow. I paid the $15 for the last field trip - which I didn't mind since I knew how much fun he would have.

It's a shame that you love your money more then your son or your wife (now ex wife). Hell you don't even pay child support - and you make twice the amount I do. O excuse me, you pay for his daycare...big deal...

You claim we didn't have the money to fix up the house, yet now that I left it's all redone and there is a $3K plasma screen TV hanging above the fireplace. ASS...

Don't worry when our son is old enough to know the truth I am going to tell him why I left you. At that time, I hope he leaves your ass too.

You should be so lucky I'm not a blood thirsty money hungry girl - I know what I'm entitled to! However, once daycare is done being paid for and he's in public school - I will take you to your knees.


Confession #1982

I am afraid that last night was our last night together.
Maybe not forever?
I am so sad that you have moved, even though you are not really that far away.
It will change everything.
You make me smile in every way, inside and out.

I do love you, even though I have never told you.

I know that I can't make you love me.
It's killing me but I am trying to be tough.
I feel so alone.

I really do love you.

Confession #1983

You are the best boyfriend in the world. You are sweet kind and caring and faithful. I don't deserve you. Your last business trip- I was over at the neighbors house drinking with him and his wife. I got really drunk and His wife and I got naked and messed around why he watched. I just can't tell you about it. I think you would leave me. But I am so sorry and I will never let anything like that happen again.

Confession #1984

My husband drinks all of my soda. No matter when I open the drink he will drink all of it and leave a little sip. It used to bother the crap out of me but the more I think about it the more it makes me all tingly inside. If it wasn’t for him I would have 1,000,000 sodas open and unfinished. He definitely completes me. I love him with all my heart even if he drinks all my soda.

Confession #1985

I know fidelity is important to you. It isn't to me, though.


Our marriage would be over if I cheated, so I won't. I'm doing this
because it's important to you. I wish you knew that, but I'm glad you don't.


Confession #1986

My family told me it was my choice - them or you, and I picked you. I gave up everything and everyone I had loved for the past 25 years of my life to be with the man I was deeply in love with. They were angry that you were so much older than me - over twice my age - and that you were a different race. They didn't understand that you were the first person who I ever fell in love with, the first man who ever made me feel special, the only person I ever felt like I could talk to about absolutely anything. We had so much fun together and agreed on everything. And then you changed. Or maybe you were deceiving me all along. I gave you my virginity and you berated me for days saying that I couldn't have been a virgin. I guess I didn't moan enough for you. You gave me gonorrhea and then tried to break up with me, saying that I gave it to you, even though that isn't remotely possible since you are the only person I have ever had sex with, actually the only man I have ever even kissed. You get drunk every weekend and tell me that you don't love me, that you need to "get rid of me", as if I am some piece of garbage to be thrown out. Then you always apologize and want to make up, saying you were just drunk and didn't mean it. You told me to stop taking birth control pills, that you wanted us to have a baby together. So I did, but when I told you I was pregnant, you acted depressed and then later said you would have to get a paternity test. A paternity test!!! That is so hilarious. You're the one who gets drunk and goes to God knows where and doesn't come home until 2:30 in the morning, and you want a paternity test!! The whole time I was pregnant, you flip-flopped back and forth between loving me and saying you were sorry and then being drunk and jealous for no reason and calling me names. So much for feeling special, I couldn't possibly feel any lower about myself than I do now. I walk around with my eyes down to the ground so that you won't say I was looking at another man. If a man asks me a question in your presence I act completely retarded and don't even reply because you may say I was flirting with him and then I will have to pay for it later. I don't understand why there are these strict crazy rules for me, but you don't have to live by them at all. The other day you touched another woman's rear-end in front of me but later said you didn't remember doing it. Then there was the time you brought some woman into our house at 10 o'clock at night and asked me to fix her something to eat. Later I found out she was a streetwalker and when I got angry you said that you were "trying to help her" and that I was being a bitch. You do all this crap while I take care of our baby, work 40 hours a week doing a manual-labor job, keep the house clean, cook dinner every night of the week, do all the shopping/dr.appts/etc., work in the yard, and take classes online part-time. I am years from being 30 and already worn out. You are sweet (mostly) when you aren't drinking, but the rest of the time you treat me like pond scum. When I was eight months pregnant you took away the key to the house and kicked me out. I had to get a hotel room. Now our daughter is a year old and you still haven't changed. She loves you so much, and you are a good father, I'll admit that. But what about when she gets older and sees you drunk? You try to be careful, but that won't work forever. You are still an alcoholic, you still degrade me, control me, and tell me I'm a piece of crap. Not to mention that you have been promising to marry me since day one, but you now tell me you never will. You make twice the money I do but pay for nothing for our daughter and keep all of your money separate from mine. Our crappy little house needs so many repairs, but all you do on your weekends off from work is drink. Our car is even worse - no AC, the tires have no tread left on them, and I can't afford to pay for that too. Our daughter's bedroom is unusable and it looks like her crib will be staying in our room until she moves out for college. You don't know it, but I found out that your retirement and life/burial insurance are in your ex-wife's name. That is so pathetic because if you died she would roll your corpse into a ditch and keep the money for all of her new hairdos and manicures. I guess since you have made a fool out of me in life you plan to make a fool out of me in death. I have put all of my time and money into your house and your life, and none of it will ever belong to me. I never wanted your "stuff", just you, but I didn't get you either. You are two different people: the drunken you I despise and the sober you I still am terribly in love with. It's like I live two separate lives too, and one of them I can't talk about, not even to you. I wish you could be the drunken you all the time so that it would be easy to walk out the door and never see you again. I could get a bus ticket and go somewhere far away, take our little girl with me. No one would care, hardly anyone would notice, except for you when you wake up with a hangover and yell for me to bring you a goddamn cup of coffee. I don't have any friends because of you, no one to talk to. I thought we were soul mates, but I am so lonely and depressed. I want my daughter to have a happy, normal, fun life, and not to have a mom who is always anxious and sad. I just don't know if it is better for her to have a father like you, or no father at all.

Confession #1987

After I have been away for several days, and you - ALONE - since our daughter was at my moms.... Telling me how tired you are?

Fuck you.

Confession #1988

I cheated on my ex with my now husband and i cheated on my husband with my ex during the first month of our relationship, I guess you could say that I couldn't choose, but ultimately I did choose and I whole heartedly believe that I made the right desicion. How ever, I have never told either of them and I have no intention to. I love my husband with all I have to give and I can't bear the thought that I may loose him over a 3 month period of selfishness! Bash me if you will, Just know that I know I was wrong! I just wont tell that to them!


Confession #1989

Husband-

Why do you insist on playing the part of a victim? I do so much for you, yet you doubt all of my abilities as a human being and a wife. I have completed by undergraduate and graduate degree in less than four years, I have made a career for myself and our family and you still only see my weakness. I know you are jealous of my success and accomplishments, you always have been.
You want me to be June Cleaver, Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Jenna Jameson all in one. I've got news for you, it won't happen!
You hate my male friends, when the truth is that your jealous of the way they care about me and actually listen to what I have to say. I am a beautiful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, successful wife, mother, daughter and friend. You are the only one who can't see that. Differentiate already!
No, I will never divorce you, be careful though affairs just don't happen.

-Wife

Confession #1990

Holding my hand and talking to me- really TALKING -last night? That is why I fell in love with you, that is why I married you. I just wish there was a way for us to do that more often. I might not feel so alone in this marriage.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Deep House Dish

How about something fun and dishy today?

I know I could use a giggle as I prepare for BlogHer ( Yep - I'll be there...)

So a hodge podge, if you will - an amalgam of silliness....

Did you ever......

have sex in a dressing room?

Come on, you know how the game is played. I know I am not the only one...

Now, your turn.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

True Wife Confessions 198 The Xmen

Confession #1971

My darling husband.

I don't know what I'm doing. I dress in the morning for Him. I get all quivery in my tummy when he comes to see me. I lust after him hugely. I have fooled around with him, but have not had sex. But not for lack of wanting to. You are better looking. You are an awesome husband (which he most certainly is not). You are an awesome father. (at which he is passable at best). We have a decent sex life. I don't know what draws me to him. Or him to me. He is the total opposite of you. The anti-thesis really. What pulls me to him? I don't know. I have broken things off with him many times. But to no avail.

I'm sorry honey. It has impacted our lives. I just don't know how to stop it. I would have to leave my job. I don't think you would hate that. But I can't. I need him. And I need you. What a mess.

Confession #1972

When's it my turn?



When's it my turn to lay in bed until 2:30 p.m. on a Saturday just because I want to?

When's it my turn to lay on the couch and watch movies all day. And assume that since they aren't for little eyes, you'll take it upon yourself to occupy a child so I can continue to lay there.

When's it my turn to, instead of coming home from work, to go out to a bar and not tell you? To not even answer my phone because I want to get a good buzz and damn, I've earned it.

When's it my turn to think solely of myself. And to assume you will take care of and think of others?

When's it my turn to not watch the budget and visit the ATM every other day? And when you bitch about all of those $3.50 fees (several of them each week), I'll tell you what a nag YOU are.

When's it my turn to sign up for a gym membership and not use it. And then sign up for another and not use that either. And then when you see that there's about $100 a month being wasted, when's it my turn to say, "Oh just get over it. Its no big deal."

When's it my turn to take credit for the gifts you buy or the kind gestures you do for others. (Oh wait, you DON'T do those things.)

When's it my turn to "forget" a gift-giving holiday and then call you a "materialistic bitch" because you express hurt feelings over not receiving a gift.

When's it my turn to tell you to just "get over" past hurts.

When's it my turn to tell you that you are filled with unnecessary resentment yet turn around and tell you that I have every right to feel angry and frustrated by your actions?

When's it my turn to unleash gas so noxious that it stinks up the whole house and then expect YOU to act like I'm the sexiest thing alive.

When's it my turn to make the mess that YOU get stuck cleaning up? And not just the messes in the kitchen or bathrooms but messes like you screwing up a repair and then going out of town. And when you do have to handle the situation, when's it my turn to criticize the way you went about that?

When's it my turn to turn into the asshole who has these delusions of perfection? When's it my turn to act any problem in our relationship is all YOUR fault – if only you'd be less this or more of that….


Oh and by the way. Go fuck yourself.

Confession #1973

I miss you so much when you are not home but when we are home together all I
can do is gripe at you. I come home ready to see you and give you a hug but
then I notice that the trash hasn't been taken to the curb or you've left
all the lights on in your shop when you're in the house. And I get so
frustrated the first words out of my mouth to you are nagging and mean. I
do love you, but it is so hard for me to show affection when I feel like you
are constantly letting me down. I wish we could get that "spark" back
between us. When you act apathetic about getting things done to help me, I
get apathetic about wanting to be around you.

Confession #1974

When I wrote you that letter about how I was feeling that almost didn’t even make any sense to me, you read it and came up to me afterwards and just held me and told me you loved me and would try harder, and then asked me to clarify some things that didn’t make sense to you. And then we ended up having one of the most wonderful talks in the whole 4 years that we’ve been together. I have never felt closer or more in love with you then I did at that moment and I feel bad that I even doubted for a second that you wouldn’t take it well.

We sat there in the bedroom for an hour, talking about our future and what we both wanted and how we wanted to do it and you let me say everything I wanted and needed to say and even though sometimes the way the words came out sounded so bitchy and needy to me, you never took them that way because you said I wasn’t that type of person.

To feel that close to you after all these years and remember why I love you and why I felt so drawn to you, was one of the best feelings I have ever had. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I look forward to a life filled with love, laughs, fights, make-ups, growth and above all, a life filled with you.

And to all the wonderful ladies on this site – If there’s something that you feel you need to say to the person in your life, say it. You may be pleasantly surprised by the response that you get from them. Have faith in what brought you together and what keeps you together.



Confession #1975

I know you want me to find a "real" job. You think our child is old enough and you want me to start earning a paycheck. We don't need the money. You say, "If you start working, we can hire someone to clean the house now and again." OH please. Do you really think having some person clean the house once or twice a month is going to be enough? You obviously have no idea how much cleaning, errand running, grocery getting, crap I do. Our household runs smoothly. This is due to a lot of work and organization on my end. You don't talk to your parents or sibling. You don't remember their birthdays or Christmas. Who do you think gets them gifts? Who do you think pays the bills, keeps the vehicles maintained, does the landscaping, and keeps our son busy with playdates and fun educational trips and takes him to all of his doctor appts? Who the hell do you think is maintaining the friendships we have. (You aren't talking to your friends. I'm the one e-mailing them and setting up stuff.)

The biggest reason I am reluctant to work outside the home is because YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME. (This is also why we only have one child.) I know I'd be the one with TWO jobs… The 40+hours a week and I'd still have to do all of the other shit I do now. Oh yes, How FUN. So forgive me if I'm not having an orgasm at the thought.

P.S. And when our son is sick, I get NO help whatsoever. So if I had a job, I'd still be up all night with a sick child, I'd have to arrange for sick care or take time off and then work overtime during that week to make up that lost time. And what would you do? The same thing you always do. Drink a beer, stare at the tv. And tell me to "suck it up." In other words, Nothing.

Confession #1976

The medicated abortion that I had on May 2nd, was not caused because of you. Your pull-out method was effective, but the other guy I was dating failed to follow suit. I did not spend that day with my best friend, but rather with the person who was truly responsible for my position. I was in so much pain because I failed to buy the correct pain reliever and I had to call the call the emergency hotline. I have never felt a pain like this before. It felt like someone was scraping my insides out with a dull blade. While I was going through this, he left me alone because he had to run an "errand." He never held me or said words that would make me feel secure or loved. I was supposed to be watched 24:7 by him and he agreed, but he left me alone for 1 and a half hours. That was the day I lost all respect for this man. I should have spent that day with you. I didn't tell you that I was pregnant until a week after the procedure and you said that the very day I was going through this horrendous pain, that you felt very sick, could barely walk, and was vomiting all day. Deep in my soul, I hope that it was not your seed that I was carrying because I have always loved you. I wish I spent that day with you because you would have done everything in your power to console me. I don't regret my decision to have an abortion, but I do regret not knowing who impregnated me. I never thought I would be in a position like this at this time in my life. I have planned everything that I do and this was unforeseeable.

***For all you judgmental readers, I am not married to either one of these men***

Confession #1977

Hmmm... I suppose we can start at the beginning.

We have been together and happy for a long time. I was having the time of my life, and it appeared that you were too. I had completely forgiven you for what you did to me the first time we dated... We were too young then anyway. (Though it still hurt...)

When we started this relationship the second time, years after the first, I accepted that if something went horribly wrong, I could only blame myself. You fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Somehow that made me take nothing for granted. I was fully there for every joke, kiss, and touch. I have never felt so alive with anyone else... You truly, even still, amaze me.

But why, randomly, did you come to me and say, "I think I enjoy being your friend better." What the HELL. Are we in high school now? I really have nothing to say about this particularly. I went insane just thinking about it and trying to find some flaw in our relationship. To me, there wasn't one. As I said, I had never believed it was possible to be so happy.
So I guess I'll get on with the confession part. I was miserable for that first 24 hours. I pitied myself and I blamed myself for my own agony. I though about how yes, it DOES hurt just as much the second time around. I went to bed that night a stewing, angry mess. Are you ready for the magic? I woke up in the morning with the sun pouring down on me and from that moment, I didn't hurt any more. Life has never thrown something at me that the sun couldn't bake out of me. It has been six days now, and five of them have been days just as good as when we were together. I lived for a long time without you just fine, and I will do it again. I don't regret a thing, I'm not angry with you. I am fully capable of being your friend.

I really thought I would wait until you wanted me again and then I would be there for you a third time when you called saying that you made a mistake and that I am the woman that you want. Unfortunately, while I am not angry, you really are not the one I want anymore. (Besides, I should have known from the beginning that it wouldn't work. I spent four years at culinary school, my greatest joy in life is feeding people, and I started a relationship with a guy who hates virtually ALL foods?)

So when you have that lovely realization, call me, but be forewarned that there's a good chance I'll be with someone who got it right the first time.


Confession #1978

I know you want to get an Audi. Those are VERY nice cars. I'd like one too. But I told you we don't need one. We don't. But the reason I've put the kibosh on that is because I know you'll be an asshole at some point. I mean, your selfish. Its just your nature. I don't think you are even capable of thinking of anyone other than yourself. And I also know that the next time you piss me off, I'll regret getting that vehicle. Why should You get to drive a $35,000 vehicle when our child and I are stuck in a crappy, cheap vehicle that smells like vomit (because the vehicle is jerky and the ride is bumpy) worth a fraction of an Audi. Why should YOU get a nice car? Especially since your day of work ends at work. When you get home you sit on the couch. You sit on the computer. You eat. You make various messes. You have temper tantrums when you can't find something. So no.

Confession #1979

To the boyfriend I finally thought I could trust,

You left today and I was sad. Although it has taken me awhile to open up and trust you, I really do love you very much and I really did want this to go somewhere. I still do. I timed my trip to the grocery store so that I would see your train leave. I know it was silly. I almost texted you to tell you, but I'm always afraid you will think I'm too clingy, because my ex certainly did. Seeing the train made me miss you more. It hurt. I went home, trying to comfort myself. Finally, I signed into your facebook...I don't really know why, I thought it would make me miss you less, even though it had only been a few hours. I only did it once before, I wasn't sure why you told me your password...so I did it. But I felt like I was invading your privacy so I didn't do it anymore, until today when I missed you.
I saw the messages you sent her. About meeting up. And it hurt. So much. I thought I could trust you and maybe I can, but why didn't you tell me? You talk about her so much and I know that for a long time you still had photos of her. I know you want to stay friends with her, but some part of me worries that you would leave me in a heartbeat if she wanted to get back together. I was so confused. I knew you still called her pet names...and you didn't suggest anything improper, I just couldn't understand why you couldn't tell me. I thought you knew you could trust me. Sure I would have been a little worried about it...but I thought I made it clear that I wanted to respect your friendship with her. The fact that you didn't tell me reinforces all of those little insecurities I feel when you joke about me being stupid or how I didn't go to the same University...I start to wonder if I will ever measure up..even though I know I shouldn't try to compete.
Finally I just started crying. You never made me cry like that...it was the kind of crying that my exes used to incite. It hurt. I wished you hadn't done it, that you had just told me you might be seeing her. I talked to my brother, hoping he would comfort me and tell me it didn't mean anything..but he didn't. I desperatly wanted to call someone here, anyone..but I knew they would all gossip that it would get back to you or you would get a lecture from M. It made me miss my real friends and feel really lonely. I know you don't understand how I can't tolerate always being social here and yet still feel lonely, but I do because of moments like this. Real moments when I have something to share that is private and I can't tell anyone here. You make me feel less lonely. Until today I thought I could tell you anything.
But I can't tell you about this. I can't get angry with you now because it will make you upset before tomorrow and I care about you too much to do that. I can't tell you when you get back because then I will have to explain why I was invading your privacy. And to be honest, I wanted to be happy when I greeted you. I had been planning to take you out to dinner on Wednesday before things got completely crazy...and now I'm just confused.
When you move in September and take whatever excellent job you will get, its probably going to be to a city I can't live in. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get a job here. She will be in that city, you will see her a lot. I know the distance was a big part of the strain on your relationship before. What will happen when you are with her more than me?
It makes me feel so scared and insecure...here I am contemplating taking steps to move here, steps that I was thinking might, eventually, involve something with you...and now I find out you are sneaking around to meet your ex for coffee.
I felt so safe yesterday, why did you take that away from me? How do I talk to you about this? How do I find a trusting relationship with you? Why didn't you just tell me

Confession #1980

When you raped me, I cried. When you hit me, I cried. When you held me down and suffocated me, all I could think was "Dear god no, don't let me die at the hands of this insane man, i'm too young to die". You held me in captivity for a week, and I finally escaped. I tried to give you a hug, instead, you tried to strangle me. And that's when I snapped and left you.

When I tell him these things, and my irrational fears that stemmed from being with you, he assures me that he is not crazy, he won't hurt me, he will always have our best interests in mind. He shows me in his actions how he cares for me, and he will make an amazing father some day.

Yesterday was the first time I considered not marrying him. I can't marry someone who isn't motivated to do better in life. I hope he snaps out of it and comes to his senses. I need 100 things in my life partner, I will not settle for 99.

I still love him more than I ever loved you, and i'll always love you, even if you did turn out to be an insane asshole. I just wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life with you. . .

Monday, July 16, 2007

True Wife Confessions 197 ways to improve your curb appeal

Confession #1961

Look, we both know you're shifty when it comes to text messaging on
your precious cell phone. Could you at least save me the pretense of
getting defensive about it when I catch you in yet another lie? You
can try and make me feel as crazy as you want, but at the end of the
day, you're still not telling the truth and that's still the issue.


Confession #1962

I Live in Hell's Kitchen

I used to think it was wonderful that you made dinner every night, I am
a terrific sous chef, chopping, preparing everything and cleaning up
after you. This worked for a while until, you turned into that a** on
Hell's Kitchen. You INSIST that the kids do the dishes, but then you
freak out when you find something hasn't been cleaned properly or put
away "wrong". If you expect perfection you will not get it, plain and
simple. I have started to do the dishes every night because I cannot
take the constant b**chin' from you about it. Then last night you asked
me to get the salad ready so you could make the dressing - I even
squeezed the fresh lemons for you - and I poured the juice on the salad.
I thought you were going to have a heart attack. You proceed to scream
at me that I don't care about this family, that you are the only one who
does anything right and that you are the only one who cares. You see, I
didn't know that you have to add the olive oil FIRST...........major sin
on my part...soooooo sooorrrrryyyy!!!!

When you care more about the food you are preparing than the people your
are preparing it for, babe your priorities are all screwed up. Dinner
has become a time of day that I dread - I would rather go to McD's every
single day than put up with your tantrums and rages. You think dinner
time brings us together as a family, when you have everyone so upset
that everything we do is wrong - guess what NO ONE WANTS DINNER ANYMORE.
And then you get even angrier that no one is hungry.

Things had better change, and real soon. I think I WILL go to see my
parents for a week with just the kids, you can stay home alone - make
dinner for yourself and see how well you get on with the "chef" of the
house.


Confession #1963

Okay – my first time with a new guy since the big divorce. We messed around, but didn’t have sex or anything close.



You are a big jerk. You e-mailed me saying that you had Chlamydia and could have only gotten it from me. Since supposedly you were faithful to your X wife that you were married to for 10 years.



Let’s see, I was married for 4 years. Dated my X for 2 years first. Once you told me about your problem, I ran to my GYN. She tested me for EVERYTHING. I didn’t come up positive for anything. Nothing..nada.



I don’t know what your deal was. But, you didn’t get a STD from me. Obviously, I wasn’t the first person you had been with or else that X of yours really did cheat like all the rumors.


Confession #1964

Dear Husband,



I cannot believe that I can finally think about divorcing you. You whom I love, but yet, cannot stand. From the very big to the very trivial: I cannot stand the way you criticize my daughter, I cannot stand the way you leave your dirt around the tub in a ring. I cannot stand the way you speak to me sometimes. Last week you threw a coffee cup in my direction,and after it splintered across the room, I grabbed some of the stuff lying on the table and threw it in your direction. It felt so good to fight back. And then? And then I refused to clean it up and you called me a lazy whore.



Keep talking like that babe, you are making it easier and easier.



Your Wife.


Confession #1965

Lets call this "Lies I Have Told My Husband"

I had an abortion in 1994 (three years before I met my husband). I
got pregnant by my boyfriend of a year and I knew he was not the guy
for me, so I decided to terminate the pregnancy. I am strongly
opposed to abortion (because I regret my decision everyday) and so is
my husband.

I do not come from money. My family is from humble beginnings.

I have spent and spent and spent. I am responsible for our debt- and
he doesn't know how much there is.

I do not enjoy our sex. He doesn't have any idea what he is doing.
I could sleep through it. I have faked every orgasm.

I am disgusted by his body.

He is not the only man I have given a blow job to.

He thinks he is the third man I have slept with, he is actually the
sixth.

I want to keep all of this buried and never let him know.

Confession #1966

My darling husband.

I don't know what I'm doing. I dress in the morning for Him. I get all quivery in my tummy when he comes to see me. I lust after him hugely. I have fooled around with him, but have not had sex. But not for lack of wanting to. You are better looking. You are an awesome husband (which he most certainly is not). You are an awesome father. (at which he is passable at best). We have a decent sex life. I don't know what draws me to him. Or him to me. He is the total opposite of you. The anti-thesis really. What pulls me to him? I don't know. I have broken things off with him many times. But to no avail.

I'm sorry honey. It has impacted our lives. I just don't know how to stop it. I would have to leave my job. I don't think you would hate that. But I can't. I need him. And I need you. What a mess.


Confession #1967

There are moments when you are so sweet, so vulnerable - and I think that there is no possible way that I could ever see my life without you. This morning, when I woke, you were holding my hand in your sleep. It was beautiful.

Confession #1968

I need someone. I need someone to care about me. I need someone to respect me. I need someone who worships the ground I walk on. I thought you were him. and you’re not. I have no real friends. I’m not a nice person according to you. What happened to the night when you licked my tears from my pain and held me in your strong and safe arms. What happened to the person that let me come and take a warm bath when my dad called me a whore. What happened to the person that used to love me. Why can’t I find myself. When am I going to be free. I sound pathetic. Poor me, poor me. Many people have it worse.

I love you. but I don’t love you. I don’t want to be with you but I don’t want to go through w/ a divorce. and I don’t want to be without you either. You’ve bettered my life and yet I feel like I’ve outgrown you. you lifted me up and now I’m above it; yet I’m not because I’m still insecure and I stay with you. I hold my tongue. If I only said half of what I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me either. You’ve gain too much weight. You drink too much. and your once lovable personality has become obnoxious. You’re not the same person. I’m not the same person. We both know we hang on for my daughter. Poor girl. The chances of her having a happy marriage one day is so slim. And even worse if we split. Divorce is horrid for kids. So I will hang on. For her sake. I’ve been already hanging on for a few years now. My life is wasted. What’s a few more years going to hurt.


Confession #1969

Dear dumbass,


Sneaking into your son’s room at 11 p.m. to play with him is NOT a good idea. If you wanted to spend time with him so badly today, you should have TURNED OFF THE FUCKING TV and played with him then. You are such an asshole sometimes. You wake him up, then he doesn’t sleep well through the night. And then he wakes up earlier than usual. And THEN he’s a crabby, irritable person all day. That makes my job more difficult. But that doesn’t matter to YOU. Because where are you? In bed Or bitching about how he’s making noise and you can’t sleep.


Sometimes I wish I could mess with your job and make YOURS more difficult. And see how you’d like that.


We’ve discussed this many a time. You continue to do these things. You know the ramifications. But they only affect me. Not you. So you don’t care.


THIS is why I called you a “selfish jerk” the other day in front of our son. And oh the fact that you acted like a hurt martyr over it was just fucking RICH. “Selfish Jerk” is NICE compared to the names I often think of when describing you.


Confession #1970

Dear someone I miss completely,

Even though I know you're 5 minutes away, I still miss you. I miss the person you used to be, the best friend I once had, the memories, and the way you honestly cared about me. Over the past 3 years, you've fallen in love with two other people. One of which, you continue to talk to, day after day. You text her saying "You're gorgeous, baby" while you sit next to me on my couch. While you eat the food I bought you, while you lie to me. You never call me, or pretend like you think about me--ever. Sometimes we go entire days without a single hello, much less an "I love you." I am constantly made fun of, from my car right down to how my nipples are "weird." Should I be hearing this from someone who "loves" me? Sometimes I try to convince myself that it's normal, and no one has a perfect... decent.. relationship.

You scream at me that I'm "selfish" and I never think of anyone but myself. You angrily storm out of my house, smashing me with your car door, and leaving me weeping in my drive way. I'm watching you drive away, and leaving me, again. You deem me a 6 on the "boring scale" .. while your best friend is a 3. I understand now why you so blantantly ignore my calls and voice mails. I wish I was as interesting. I wish I was as pretty, entertaining, or beautiful as you'd like me to be. I'm "smart" but not quite witty enough. I bare the brunt of all the rude, disrespectful, and terribly selfish/mean things you say, and I'm not allowed to say anything else in return.

I know you cheat on me. I know I'm the last thing you ever think about. One day, I hope you think of my name and wish you had done things differently. I've tried for so long.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

True Wife Confessions 196 is a Lychrel number

Confession #1951

Dear Husband,

I want to tell you how much it frustrates me that you can't meet all my needs. At first I just resented the fact that you couldn't, then I wondered if I was too needy. What I arrived at was that I don't have to live in a passionless marriage. I want romance, touching, flirting, excitement. You can't or won't give it to me. I've been looking for a man to have an affair with for the past 6 months. I've met dozens of men and even had sex with a few. I'm still searching for the perfect man for an affair and in the meanwhile, I will continue the one-off kisses and exchanges from strangers to give me what you can't - or won't.


Confession #1952

How could you? How could my caring, wonderful husband, put pressure on me to do something that you know I can Not do.

You love our children, and I love them. We brought them into this world together, and out of love. It's been hard, yes, and harder than it should be. But we've survived.

But because of financial and medical reasons we decided that 4 children is more than enough and we were done.

But you keep backing out on your agreement to have a procedure done. You have been since our last baby was born. So instead, we don't touch each other. Ever. Until that one night. And I Told you, I reminded you how easily it could happen and you said you were willing to take the risk. So we risked it.

And now we're pregnant again. You don't want me to keep "it". What you can't understand is that despite the fact that I KNOW how hard it will be to manage another child... I've already carried and given birth to our 4, and I can not, and will not have an abortion just to appease you.

I have few people to talk to about this. You think I'm being irrational. I've thought of all the hard times that possibly lie in our future after adding another child. But if I don't have this child, just because it's the only solution YOU can see right now, I will hate myself.. and I will hate you... for the rest of our lives. Can you please just understand that it's not something I can do? Can you please not look at me like you hate me because of it? Yes, 5 children is a LOT. I know that. And I know that technically, maybe.. yes.. an abortion probably would be the smartest option at this point. But I can't do that to my baby. It's OUR baby, like the other 4 we looked so forward to. They've blessed us in so many ways and I wish you could just think of them.. and the happiness they've each brought to not only you and I.. but their siblings and the rest of our family as well.

It's not the end of the world like you think it is. It will be hard, but we'll be ok. Please, my darling... we can make it through this. Please stop asking me to do this. Please don't hate me or resent me or our baby for me not doing what You think is right. I'm doing what I feel and know is right and I KNOW that we will all be ok.

Please... just accept your new child. I'm so afraid you're going to hate us both. And if it boils down to me raising 5 children alone, I suppose I can live with that.
I can't live with killing our baby.



Confession #1953

I love you. I have never met anyone like you in my life. You're witty, brilliant , wonderfully funny and the most fantastic lover I have ever had. There are days I can't believe I am married to someone as great as you.

I miss you everyday with an intensity I have never felt before. I miss having you in my bed, in my house, in my daily life. Why are we not together since we are actually husband and wife?

Oh, I know I have my stuff sorted out. I could move to be with you. I could. You could move here. But can we really make this marriage work if we are in the same city? Can we make this marriage work if we are in YOUR city? That's your life , the life you grew up with. Mine is not really here, but it sure as hell is not there either. I can't imagine living in a place where the only person who is half way decent to me is you. With all that happened recently, I do not feel the least bit comfy there at all. If you don't start standing up for us, for me, I will never move there.

I want nothing more than to be with you and yet I want nothing more than to stay here. How can we be together and apart?

I miss you. Please hurry up and come here. I need you.

Confession #1954

I have this reoccurring dream that I am leaving my husband and my kids to be with another man ... it's always a different man but it's always a co-worker of my husbands. What's so fucked up is that my husband knows what's going on and decides to let me 'do my thing' because he knows I'll change my mind and stay with my family.

In the end I do. The last time, the last thing I remember is my dh and the guy I was leaving him for were sitting in a pick up trucking talking (??) and I walked up to the guy and said, "I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Goodbye."

That same dream was so real. I woke up in a funk and stayed that way all day long. I can't stop thinking about it and it disturbs me.

Confession #1955

Dear Husband-



My confession is that if I had it to do all over again, I would have married you in October instead of February, like you had suggested. I so love being your wife! Things haven’t always been easy, but I think some people don’t realize the hard work it takes to put two lives together – it’s not like the movies: it takes effort! But it’s the best kind of work, isn’t it?



I miss you when you work away only because I have so much fun with you. You support me and treat me so well, I could never ask for more. I know that very soon your hours will be more reasonable and we’ll be able to spend more time together.



I did another test this morning and I’m not pregnant. I’m a bit disappointed; I want a baby very badly. Hopefully with this move coming up there will be more time (and room!) for the children we both want. In the meantime, I’m excited for the changes coming up and feeling so positive about the future. You’re the best and I love you!

Your Wife

xxx

Confession #1956

The other day when I got so upset with you I told you to clean my car to make up for your stupidity. This, in and of itself, is not so bad. But my motivation for a clean car was that I was meeting a potential lover for lunch the next day and I knew he would want to see my car, since he was "into" cars. So, you cleaned my car to impress my potential lover. Oh, and, one more thing, the kleenex that you cleaned out of my car - well, I had a potential lover in my car earlier in the week and we used the kleenex to clean up after I gave him a blow job. So, you cleaned up after one lover for another. Thanks, hon!

Confession #1957

You know, you have threatened me for years with divorce. I used to be afraid of my life without you and when you used that threat, I would back down. Give in. But over the last year, I have made peace with it. Maybe our marriage wasn't meant to be a forever thing. We tried - hard. So, after listening to you for more years than I care to count tell me how you planned on divorcing me, I just accepted it. And I told you so last Friday. And you looked a bit stunned. But honey, it is too late now to be sweet and charming. You cried wolf too much.


Confession #1958

I love you more then life itself. You are a great man, and you treat
me wonderfully. I can tell you anything, you are truly my best
friend. We just have one small problem.

It's been over a year since we have had sex. The last time was on our
honeymoon. Why did you marry me if you weren't attracted to me? It's
been over 15 months... we are supposed to be newlyweds.

I've seen the emails, and chat transcripts. I know about the men you
have talked to... about the plans to meet them for sex. I've
confronted you twice, you always say it wouldn't happen. You say you
love me too much to cheat.

I die a little every time I think about it. The rejection... it just
kills me inside. I've thought about leaving you, cheating on you, but
I just can't. I love you so much. Why can't you see that your hurting
me so badly.


Confession #1959

I know this is petty..but I HATE when you shop for food. You buy the weirdest stuff- and have no actual idea as to what you need to make a whole meal. You come back with bacon, water and juice....And while I am on it - Are you aware of HOW to choose fruit that your child can eat in this century? I swear you find the hardest, most unripe fruit to purchase...and then your kid gets hard nectarines and rock like pears for her lunches. And sliced melon? Who buys pre-sliced watermelon? I about choked when I saw what you paid for that container...Just buy the whole damn melon. I will happily cut it up.

Confession #1960

I would rather pay three dollars every day to buy coffee than to drink the stuff that you make.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Don't poke mom with a stick, kids.

A Blog Called Malice!

Haha. See what I did there? Used the last post title and changed it a smidge?

Sorry. I need to make the little jokes.

I started this post as an email to the DSS group. I still may send it out to them, I haven't yet decided.

It's True Wife.

I am conflicted.

It is as if My baby has grown into something I don't like anymore. However, like all the best co-dependent relationships - I still NEED it. It is - somewhat sadly - how I am making a majority of my income right now.

And it is about to go onto Lifetime's web site. Excerpts only, but with links back.

So - the other day, a confession comes in regarding another confession. In it, there is an implication that I made negative comments about the poster. Then it called the site ugly.

So first, I got mad - cause that is what I do. I mean, I assure you - if I wanted to talk trash, I would do it. How dare this person insinuate that I was bashing her. ME!?! Hah! I am the least bashy person ev-ah. Unless you are taking too long at the ATM. And even then, I temper it with humor. I mean, it's MY issue, really.

And then I realized that Yes. The site is ugly - sometimes. But it is also beautiful, sometimes. I mean, a few confessions ago there was one about a woman who was diagnosed with Herpes while pregnant and she was very angry with her husband - accusing him of cheating.

The comments that came in were the essence of what I love about TWC. It was a virtual hand hold. A "Yes, this may be true, but there are lots of other things to consider..." and sharing of personal information and stories. No one absolved him of the possibility that he had given her this virus, but at the same time there was compassion and information and humanity shared.

THAT is what I have always loved about TWC. That is why I have refused to censor the confessions, even if I find something personally sketchy. I mean, who am I - really? Just a chick writing on the internet. I have ideas. I sometimes follow through on those ideas. I sometimes hate my life. I sometimes love my life. I have had enough life experience to know that things aren't always what they seem and that the most damage I have done to myself was during times when I was pretending to be something, someone that I am not.

And now? I feel like one of my kids has become the John Wayne Gacy of blogs. Ugly. And I don't like it.

And I don't know what to do.

Cross posted from my personal blog - I am doing the best I can

Thursday, July 05, 2007

True Wife Confessions 195 Scrabble Club

Confession #1941

Dear 'boyfriend'..Yesterday I spent the whole day with my best friend, the guy I have known forever, the guy you are jealous of even though he lives at the other end of the country. You have reason to be jealous because I love him so much it hurts and I'm dying inside because I can't be with him. He feels the same about me but now I'm trapped. I met you a few years after my friend moved and yes I did fall for you, I had your kids but we haven't married.. and I'm so glad. I thought that was what I wanted but it's not.
My love for my friend has never gone away. You're not the man I met... each year I am with you your anger gets worse, you beat me and you make me feel invisible. You spent all my savings and the children aren't even in pre-school yet and you don't want me to work until they are...you made sure I wasn't going anywhere. I'm only 27 and I think maybe I'll be able to stand on my own feet one day, get enough money and have the strength and means to get away from you and finally be happy, move away and be with my friend and soulmate.
Yesterday when I kissed him goodbye at the airport my heart literally broke knowing it'll be so long before I see him again and knowing I was going back home to you. I knew everything would be the same, I'd be putting myself through torture thinking about him and missing him each and every day. Living with my heartache right in front of you when you have no idea. I cried all night and have been crying all day, hiding it from you and wishing I was with him. I hope and pray that somehow my friend and I will end up together.

Confession #1942

Remember that friend I told you it was him or me? Well yeah for awhile you choose me. But your back to being friends with him no matter how I feel about it. I'm getting real close to kicking your ass out. Seems like you don't care for anyone but yourself anyways.

Confession #1943

To you...the one who stole 14 yrs of my life.

I loved you with every drop of my blood. I compromised things that make me sick to my stomach now. You beat me physically and mentally. I tried to kill myself to escape you....only to have you show up at the hospital and tell them you were my brother!!! I finally escaped you and until last night....8 yrs later...... I feared you would hunt me down and kill me....just like you promised. I'm not afraid anymore. You took things from me emotionally that it has taken all these years to get back. Last night something clicked and I own myself finally. You don't own me anymore.


Confession #1944

You suck in bed. I wish you'd wake up and listen to me. But again it's about if YOU get off not about whether I do. You haven't gotten me off in a very long time. Oh and I thought it was suppossed to be women who didn't like to perform oral sex? Well you haven't performed it on me in well over a year. I'm so tired of doing all the work and not getting any satisfaction. BTW I'd rather give you a blow job than have to have another shitty fuck session.


Confession #1945

I went out for a drink with my EX boyfriend who I knew was engaged. It was
INNOCENT and I knew it would be. I didn't do it because I wanted him back
but because I needed closure. Little did I know hugging him would bring back
all those memories. Ones that my boyfriend now can't do. He kissed my
forehead after I cried and in his arms I felt safe again. I feel so selfish
wanting him back and wanting to call off his engagement and give me another
shot. I am afraid of marriage but I am not afraid with him. I miss him so
much and I feel like we are still so young. I would NEVER let him but he
told me how he still loves me and always will. Why do things have to be like
this and why can't I ever MOVE on with my life for ONE day without thinking
about him? Yes, he's my first love, but I need to move on....but I can't. I
guess it's a part of me being a hopeless romantic and WISHING he'd come back
into my life like prince charming and sweep me off my feet......oh, wishful
thinking :( I miss you

Confession #1946

To my Husband....My escape

I can not thank you enough for loving me. You are perfect in so many ways. Any woman would be thrilled to be married to you. You tell me you love me, that I'm beautiful, that life would end without me. There isn't anything you wouldn't do for me. Sadly, I love you like a brother. Sex was always used as punishment in my life and I just don't feel that spark with you. Its something I do out of what feels like obligation. You are a wonderful friend. I can not imagine not having you in my life.....but.....it will happen. I have found someone who makes me feel like Ive never felt before. I feel things that had been stolen from me so long ago. I feel excited and sexual, I feel like a woman and not someones sister or possession. When we had sex last night I felt awful. I felt like I was cheating on my new boyfriend with my husband. Everything clicked last night. He is the one who I feel safe with, the one who makes me feel alive.

Please forgive me.

Confession #1947

As you were telling me how my work wasn't worthwhile, how the money I earn doesn't support us, I couldn't help but thinking that I don't have to live this way. I don't have to listen to you tell me that I am not important. In fact, I won't always live this way. That is why I didn't even fight back or respond, just let you continue on telling me that what I do is not important. It isn't even worth the fight. Tick Tock.


Confession #1948

To my white trash husband:

You will ultimately be the reason we get a divorce. You act like a 5 year old, instead of a 42 year old. You fight with our son, like you’re his brother. Every single Friday night, you have to act like a total dick in order for me to pay attention to you. Believe me; you’d get a lot more attention, just acting like a loving man.
I even gave you’re Friday night personally it’s very own name, of Steve. But after me calling you this, you actually had the fucking nerve to stand up and scream, “Stop calling me Steve, I don’t like it!” Guess what, dipshit? Stop acting like a flaccid dick and I won’t call you Steve anymore.
I’m sorry that you had a shitty father, I’m sorry that even though you hate his ass, you still think it’s funny to act just like him. I refuse to be married to your father for the rest of my life. Your mother, looks like death eating a biscuit from her years stuck with your family and I refuse to live or look like her at her age.
None of this really matters, because I’m having an affair with a real man, not an adolescent who still whines like a 2 year old. And just so you know, I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. It’s not like, I haven’t gone out of my way to explain all of your shortcomings to you, time and time again. But you refuse to change.
So when you finally find out about my infidelity, don’t you dare say that you never saw it coming. You’re a fucked up child stuck in a fucked up mans body. I actually feel a sense of relieve every time my lips meet my lovers.
Choke on that little man...

Confession #1949

To my husband: Please, for the love of whatever-the-fuck, STOP whining about
your frustrated rock musician ambitions.

When I met you a few years ago, you had been doing music in the local
"scene" for at least ten years, whether in a band of your own or playing in
someone's else's group. You continued to do so for a couple of years after
that, only to have what (according to your own testimony) has always
happened to you before happen again; essentially, the bands either dried up
and died, or you were fired from them for some reason or another.

Yes, of course it sucks to have something in which you've invested a lot of
time and energy dissolve into nothing, but come ON -- the music industry is
(and always has been) filled with flaky, posturing and backstabbing
egomaniacs. I would have thought that someone who has spent so much time
trying to "make it" in such a thankless scene would understand that, but you
remain bitter and completely unable to assess the situation with any kind of
clarity.

We've been married for a few years now and are expecting our first child
within a couple of months. You've gone back to school and are pursuing a
degree in a business related field, and you have a decent paying job with
good benefits (none of which were things you were doing when we first met,
but are all these are all things you've said that you WANTED to do to "make
a better life for your future family"). But with the reality of financial
woes and approaching parental responsibilities, most of what you seem to be
interested in amounts to escapist activities (booze, pot, porn), bitching
about how much life sucks, and endless, self-indulgent lamenting of the fact
that you aren't able to play in a band right now.

I'm sorry that things are tough for us now financially and that we're both
under so much in the way of time constraints and conflicting interests, but
do you honestly believe that you are the only person on the planet with
frustrated ambitions?! Things could be a lot worse, and nothing is
preventing you from playing / writing / recording music on your own, least
of all me. But life doesn't stop simply because you can't pursue your
hobbies with abandon.

I've tried to be understanding, but my compassion is wearing very thin...and
I don't think it's fair for me to have to do all of the thinking, planning,
strategy-forming for this relationship (not to mention the fact the
continually having to talk you out of your self-imposed funks is getting
extremely tiring). THIS IS THE LIFE YOU CHOSE -- no one has forced you into
any of this, so cut the little-boy routine, grow a pair and face it!


Confession #1950

It's me 1935.

Good Lord…. You guys chill. I am a grown woman and so is my daughter. Take a good long look in the mirror, look at some of these sappy pathetic confessions that you all posted and for the ones that called me names, you are no better than I. Think before you just start writing. Never say it won’t, can’ or will not happen to you. I haven’t killed anyone. I love myself, my beautiful family and I am lucky to have lived in the same place, traveled the places I have and remained with the same friends for my entire life. Can all of you that have bashed my brains out say the same? I feel SORRY for you. Most likely, you have no true friends and this web site is you entire life. I used to think this was fun to read, but I was way off.

Dawn you; I’m sure were the one that jumped me first, but I understood you created this place of ugliness. Say what you want about this good girl that likes BAD BOYS. I am not signed on to post comments, because I thought this was a place to confess, not be ridiculed to death, I wasn’t even aware of the comment area until a friend told me to look.

Most of everyone’s confessions look like you are desperate mousey little women, some of you make me laugh, like the one chick that looked at her ol’ man and thought sometimes I HATE YOU…… well honey….SAY IT….. You only wrap around one.

Look back at what some of you wrote. Who’s the dumbass?

Monday, July 02, 2007

True Wife Confessions 194 firecrackers

Confession #1931

Dear Husband,



I was diagnosed with genital herpes yesterday. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and this is my first outbreak. When I asked you about it, you vehemently denied having this, this thing, this disease, this socially unacceptable destroyer. I'm devastated. You have been so distant since I got pregnant, I'm wondering if you cheated and gave me this. If I ever have enough proof of that, I will leave you and take the kids so fast it will make you head spin and your wallet cry. I have never, NEVER had any kind of STD. Now I do, and I'm thinking about those trips you took. Those trips sans me and the kid. Yeah.



I don't care if you don't "feel" like getting tested. You are getting tested and that is the end of it, if I have to drag you in there myself and cut you to get the blood, so heaven help me, I will.



Your once devoted wife,


Confession #1932

Its been two months since you left me and moved out. We said we would work on our issues, but more have come up since you moved into your apartment. I really don't see things getting better. Maybe we are better as friends. You have been out of town for two weeks and I have decided that its time for me to move on. Three years to long enough for you to decide that you really want to be with me. Maybe we should try being with other people and see what happens. In a few short months you will be away from me for an entire year. Maybe after that year things will be better. If we are in a better place and we can really appreciate each other and love each other like we used to I might consider it. But only time will tell what will happen. I do love you and I would love for things to work but I really don't think they ever will. We have been fighting for this for so long that one would thing we would have gotten our shit together by now. You will always be my best friend and I will always love you. But I can't put myself through this anymore. I have found someone else. Funny thing is he has been there all along. He loves me and he loves my son. Wish me luck and be happy for me please. I know it will be hard but its something that we have to do.

Confession #1933

It's been almost a year, (see #258), but we have finally talked. We have finally cleared the air and bared our secrets. I feel so much better about us now. For the first time in a long time, I have hope for the future of our marriage. I love you so much sweetie. Please learn to trust that. Please don't be afraid to be honest with me. If you make a mistake, it's easier to forgive and move past if you will just talk to me. I think you are a wonderful man and a great father. I don't need perfection. I just need your love.



Confession #1934

Why do I feel like I have an overactive sex drive? Most men at 24 would love to have a 21 year old girl climbing all over their manhood! But not you! You are different. You don’t want me to throw myself on you. You don’t want me to dance around in lacy lingerie, You claim you are tired. EXCUSE ME? I work 2 jobs and one of them is the MILITARY! What do you do? Walk around a car lot all day pretending to work until someone walks up.

Tired my ass. What is gonna happen when we finally get married? And when we get older?

And you always say that you think everyone else wants to sleep with me? WELL why wouldn’t they? I am young and hot and I have the sex drive of a teenage boy!!! Look buster, I am telling you now if you don’t start taking advantage of this while you can…..I might just let them do it for you.

Then who will be claiming to be tired???



Confession #1935

I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are good to me a wonderful provider and great in bed. I truly have no complaints.

This is my personal problem. I have always been attracted to Bad Boys and I‘m not saying that you are not, but just not bad enough.

One of your friends and I have been attracted to each other for the past five years, never acting on the attraction…….. Until about three months ago.

When he would come over I would have a hard time staying in the room with him. The attraction being so very strong, I left the room.

You took an over night trip and he came over, walked through the door and made hard grinding love to me on the den floor that you built for me.

I would love to say that it will never happen again, but it will. I love you, he is a toy. If men can do it, so can we.

I love you my darling, I just have it in me to have no scruples….. My Grandmother, Mother and even my oldest daughter don’t either. So please understand its heredity.


Confession #1936

I love you so much, but sometimes I look at you and I hate you. I think
you're stupid, a bad speller, immature, and idiotic. You always clame to
care more about MY feelings than anyone elses but it seems you can
always manage to put your friends before me. You're only "loving" when
in public or around your family. Honey, they know we don't have the
perfect life, it's written all over my face. I wish that when I tell you
I'm filing for divorce that I could actually build up enough courage to
go through with it, but I'm scared shitless of the "what-if". What if I
regret it, what if you never come see the kids anymore afterwards, what
if I can't make it on my pay alone, etc. All I know is that I'm not
happy with you anymore, I can't cry anymore tears, or scream anymore
curse words because I'm all fed up.

Confession #1937

Before we were together, when I was married to my ex-husband, I did some work as a phone sex "actress". My ex worked nights, so I had the house to myself a lot. It was easy, and the money was good. Not long after I started, though, we got divorced. And I wasn't much in the "mood" for it after that.

Now I am in a comfortable relationship again. Even though I go and come freely in and out of your house and spend a lot of nights there, we still maintain separate homes and finances. I have a lot more credit card debt than I have led you to believe. I want so badly to get out from under it, but to do so I really need to get a second job. I am a college-educated woman. I really don't wanna be delivering pizzas in the evenings.

So last night I started back on the phone sex line. I hate that I am doing this behind your back, but as soon as I get out of this debt, I'll quit. I just don't know what else to do.

Confession #1938

To my husband:

I just wanted to say that I love you. You love me, you are supporting me both financially and emotionally as I work toward my long-sought degree. You think I'm beautiful, even a few sizes larger than I was when we met. And I love you. I love you even though you leave your dirty socks by the doorway (thank you for following my "no shoes in the house" rule). I love you even though you wait until I ask before you do dishes (thanks for doing them without a complaint or protest). I love you even though you don't do laundry, because even though I complain I really do prefer the way I fold things, and don't mind laundry all that much. I love you because you are an incredible husband, a freaking fantastic father, an amazing lover, and the best friend I've ever had. Thanks.

I love you. I just thought I should tell you so.

Love, me


Confession #1939

The credit card company closed the old account, and sent you a new card with a new account number. I asked you repeatedly to activate the card. You procrastinated and the card sat on the coffee table. I had to pay the remaining balance on the old card, but the online account access was shut down. I tried to call the credit card company to pay over the phone, or to get the balance so I could send a check. My name isn't on the account, so they wouldn't tell me. I asked you to call the company. You procrastinated.

Now late fees have accrued and your credit score has been affected. Tonight I shoved the phone at you and demanded that you activate the card. Three minutes after you made that phone call (a phone call that only took five minutes of your time!!), I was able to register to pay the bill online. You yelled that I was a controlling bitch. Yeah, well, this bitch gets all the bills paid on time.

God, I just wish you would do what I tell you to!


Confession #1940

I remember when we took the pregnancy test. We were in the bathroom together. When I told you I was pregnant, and your first words were DAM I heard those words, and just got angry at you. How could you say DAM if it was I that told you to please wear the condom. How could you say DAM, if you didn't want me to take birth control pills. I didn't want to have a child so soon after our wedding. I wanted to wait. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to get to know you more as a husband. I wanted to grow with you.

During my pregnancy around my 20th week. We were told by doctor that we could have sex. Not oral, no four play, nothing!!! This could cause a miscarriage. But no, you had to be selfish and still wanted to lay down and have sex with my. Knowing that we can loose our son. Why? You continued this for the rest of our pregnancy.

During labor, I'll give you that, you were there for me. You stood by my side. You saw that I gave birth to him vaginally. Yet after the birth, you were counting the days until I could have sex again. Finally the day came, and you jumped on me. Didn't care if I was still hurting. You just wanted to fulfill your needs. What about mine?

Now you love our son. Would so anything for me to take you back, you "love" me and our son. If you do love me your wouldn't hurt me physically, emotionally, and mentally. If you do love me you would appreciate me. If you do love me you wouldn't threaten me than you would leave me and the baby.

Now that I refuse to take you back, you realize what you had. I wasn't a bad wife. I just couldn't do the things I wanted to do b/c we got pregnant. I have no control of that.

I don't know if I love you. I don't know if I want you to return. There is so much to think about and I just can't accept that fact that you want me to do what you want to do ONLY!

Do you have someone? Who was that person that took those pictures of you and my son?