Thursday, September 28, 2006

True Wife Confessions 83, a song by John Mayer...sigh.

Confession #821

I don’t like your mother anymore. We used to have a great relationship, but she can be downright mean anymore. I know I told you that it was ok that she bought more things for her other grandchild, but it’s not. It’s not our fault that we take care of our children and get them the things they need. I also don’t think it’s right that the other grandchild spends the night every weekend, but our kids have to schedule it in advance. And it’s piss poor that your mom does her laundry. And it’s awful that when we had to borrow money once in 10 years, we were harped until it was paid. But your sister still owes her money, but somehow, that’s ok. But we’re not the ones who filed bankruptcy or had the bank foreclose on our home. We’re the ones who go without so that our kids get what they need, but your sister and her husband buy fish and dvd’s and god only knows what else. We are the ones that do what we’re supposed to, but we get punished. So I guess if I stopped buying the kids the things they need, do you think she would pick up the slack??? Somehow I doubt it. Your sister’s kid is her favorite and you know it. You just don’t want to admit it. It bothers me that none of this stuff bothers you, but when it comes to my parents, you have no trouble admitting fault.

Confession #822

I hate it when you stick your finger in my butthole during oral sex. It totally ruins all the excitement I have built up. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If you do it one more time I am going to stick a finger up your butt the next time I give you a blowjob.

Confession #823

I am addicted to porn. I watch it at least once a day, and not even the "normal" stuff. Gay porn, animal porn, lesbians. You name it. And I don't know why I do it. When I think about it now, I get grossed out. But when I see two guys fucking eachother I get so horny-- hornier than sex in person with you or anyone else could ever make me. I can't tell you because I held it against you when you watched porn. Maybe you're still doing it behind my back while I do it behind your back. I don't know. Maybe we're both sick fucks who deserve each other.

Confession #824

I hate my stepson. I can't stand him. I can't wait until he moves out and he doesn't even live with us full-time. I work late the days you have him just so I don't have to come home to him.

Confession #825

All these years later, I can't stop dreaming about him and wondering what
would have happened if he and I had admitted we loved each other. And I feel
terrible thinking those things, because I know that our relationship saved
you, our marriage and our children saved you, and because I love you deeply.
And I am a hypocrite for holding on to him, because the thought of you
loving someone else would break my heart.

But sometimes I think I will miss him for the rest of my life. Sometimes I
think that if he called and said he needed me, I would drop everything.

I'm sorry. I do love you.

Confession #826

You stupid fucking idiot. I just had the WORST day of my freaking life at work, my boss yelled at me for missing three Mondays in the LAST YEAR of work, and all I wanted to do was come home and cry on your shoulder - which is weird, because I haven't been all that happy about our marriage lately at all. You came in the door and I was actually glad to see you, so I could finally get some release, and when I told you I was yelled at, WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? You said, "Yeah, you miss a lot of work. If I'd been your boss I would have talked to you about it a long time ago." You fucking jerk. Now I'm crying and I'm not speaking to you, and thinking, today I only wanted to quit my job. YOU make me want to quit my marriage. Way to go you goddamn fucking jerk.

Confession #827

I know that you wait until you think "I'm asleep" and
masturbate. I'm not really asleep. I can hear you
doing it and I watch you out of the corner of my eye.

I think it's really sexy, but where is the come!?

Confession #828


I am sorry that I have been difficult.I am sorry that I keep saying that I want a divorce. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how else we can get over this impasse. I love you incredibly, I need you and I want you but I also need to be trusted, I also want to be believed. I deserve that respect. Why can't you just tell me that you don't want a divorce. I guess you kind of do when you ask me why would I want to tear our family apart, but you don't say the words. Just say them.I do not want a divorce. That would make me feel so much better, and hold me while you say them. Kiss my forehead. Please, please stop believing another person over me. I deserve that respect. If nothing else because I am your wife I deserve it. I don't know if I can live with it if you continue to choose that friendship over me. A part of me feels that it would be easier to end it now than to know that you would. That way I would never have to know that you wouldn't choose me. Also defend me, don't allow that person to talk about me, and if you did defend me and just didn't say anything about it, then tell me that you did defend me. I would appreciate that.

Confession #829

I wanted to punch you in the face when you told me you didn’t need me to give you a ride. Don’t make me stay out with you so I can go home by myself. I almost wished you had gotten pulled over.

Confession #830

It really pisses me off the way you act in the mornings when I wake you up. I understand you're not a morning person, but guess what? I'M NOT EITHER. Why should you get to sleep in every morning while I get 2 kids fed and dressed and lunches packed and bookbags ready? Lose the selfish attitude already!!


Anonymous said...


Me too. oh God, me too!!!! I love my husband so damned much but yes, most days I miss "him". I will never leave for "him" - ever - but if I'm ever alone and had a chance again, I'd never waste it again.

But then, they say that some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers ~ I've got it really good and you have to think ~ isn't this where I was supposed to be? The road not taken, and all that......

but yes, I understand, I really really really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

822, tell him. Tell him in those exact words, tell him before the next time you have sex. That's all you have to do. He won't know if you don't.

Anonymous said...

I agree tell him, BUT
he probably wants you to do it to him. That is why he does it to you.

Diana said...

#821- I completely understand what you're saying.

selzach said...

#821 - I understand. My MIL has been living with my middle SIL and providing childcare for the kids for the past 6 months. When the youngest SIL had hers, she took care of her daughter for several months. We got a week when our son was born then 2 weeks when I returned to work. She was supposed to visit us in January. Then she was supposed to visit this month. Now one of our nieces is due to have a baby, so guess where Grandma will be.

Whenever we visit, inevitably at least one of the other grandkids is there, so our son gets no one-on-one time with her. She complains that our son hardly knows her. I wonder why.

I hope my son never realizes how much more attention the other grandkids get.

Anonymous said...

#822 Actually, your husband would probably like you to stick your finger in his butthole while you're giving him a blowjob. He is probably trying to tell you without actually saying it. Just think about it: Most people touch, lick, bite, caress, and/or etc. their partner the way they would actually like to be touched, licked, bit, caressed, and/or etc.

It might just be what he's been begging for all along!!!

Anonymous said...

# 822 - I gotta go with he girls on this one. A lot of straight men love anal play. My ex could not believe it when I told him that I hated it. On the bright side, unless you have told him how you feel, he probably thinks he is doing smething really nice for you. Just tell him how you feel. Don't threaten to do anything you don't really want to do because it might backfire (he he backfire)on you.

Anonymous said...

I understand 825. I completely understand. The "him" in my life actually called last week and I told him no. I don't know what came over me, most likely love of my children and perhaps even love of my husband. I immediatly regreted telling him no after I hung up but I didn't call back.

Anonymous said...

Massaging a man's prostate ( inside his anus) during oral can be one of the most exciting things a guy can get...and once they do, I think they can't resist. You can wear a latex glove, and use lube if you are hesitant about using your bare fingers. But, anal play can be a really great addition to just have to communicate and make sure that it feels good for BOTH people.

Anonymous said...

#825 & too. Exactly.

Why is he in my thoughts every single day?

Anonymous said...

I have one of those men in my thoughts. He's married, I'm married..but when I hear his voice on the phone, or get an email from him, I immediately think "What if he had been with me?" I know he feels the same way.

What would life have been like with him? I don't know, and doubt I will ever know. Maybe next lifetime.

Anonymous said...

#825 You're not alone. I don't ever want to lay eyes on "him" because if I do I'll lay my hands all over "him".

Anonymous said...

#825 and the others

Me too -- and I am shocked at the number of people in this position, only I can't say but "I love my husband too much to do anything," because I don't and I would in a heartbeat, I just wonder if he would too...

Anonymous said...

#829 -i am so with you on that deal. Fucking drunks -

Anonymous said...

# 825

I could have wrote that. I think about "him" most every day, and I know he does the same of me. We see each other about 5 times a month and it's just not enough. He's living with someone & they just had a baby, I'm married with 2 kids, but if we could get away with it, we'd be together. The kids are the only thing that keeps me in my marriage. I do love my husband.....I just love "him" more.

Zoemonster said...

Somehow, when you leave a comment(s) under yr +real+ name, I think it offers more credibility to the advice. I understand why the confessions are anonymous, but I lend a more empathetic ear to those who sign their (comment) posts. I have commented before, several times, but always as "anon." It's a little more frightening to speak as myself, but I'll try... (Rapid heartbeat ensues)...

821- She's old. She won't live forever. Bite the bullet. I am somewhat of a "magical thinker" (that's a real school of thought) Magical thinkers believe that when you give something away, you "get" something back thrice fold. In your situation, it's just pretending. Sometimes when I pretend, the feelings become valid. Does that make sense?

822- I have to agree w/ the others. He would likely love the return action. No buts about it:)

824- I understand the sentiment. There are definitely times to cut the apron strings and get a life. However, imo, this generation is smarter than we. They +know+ a good thang:) Why not live w/ Mom and Dad (or the blended Step Mom/Dad)? It's a free meal! I was desperate to leave! So, as soon as I could, I was outtie!! And, I left June and Ward Cleaver's abode, or a damn close facsimile! What was wrong w/ me? LOL. If I had hung about for 5-10 years, I would be one rich bitch by now! Good Luck to you. My kids are 24 and 23. The 24 year old comes and visits every chance he gets! ) Graduated college, and now is in a post grad program, but still!! LOL, I took every "break" I had to spend money on friends and me! Nottttt hanging around w/ June and Ward!! The 23 year old is gainfully employed and lives with us. I can't say that I blame her! Who wouldn’t want to pocket 100% of his/her salary? Smart cookies, this generation.

825 (and Anonymous 6.26 PM) The grass may seem greener in the other pasture, but ya know what? Those cows still take dumps and hold their owners still hold their remotes staring mindlessly from their death chairs (the recliners)

826 Men are not made for Hallmark moments. That's why women were created. Tell yr girlfriend. She knows more and understands better anyhoo.

828 Marriage is a vow. There is nothing more important than family. Nothing. Make a list of what's important to you. Strike anything off the list that is selfish.


That's it. My heart is still pumping. I want to conclude by saying that I wish I had a perfect life as the above indicates! LOL. I won't list my grievances, but I will try to apply what I wrote to my own "confessions."

Thx to the many who share. I love reading this site, as do we all, eh? I often save it for my last "daily" interweb click. The best for last:)


Anonymous said...


I must disagree with your comment to #824. While it's nice to allow your children to stay with you while they're working full time, keep 100% of their income for themselves, being "adults"...hmmm, are you really doing them any favors by letting them live off you?

Is your *child* saving their income to buy a home or using it to pay off college loans? Does he pay room and board? Pay for her own groceries, help with any bills?
OR did JR buy a new car, does she spend her $$$ on new cloths to keep up with the latest trends or purchase every new electronic gadget released on the market? Are these *children* learning anything about money management? I know people, friends and relatives, that lived and still live w/ their parents in their 20's and 30's--IMHO, they don't have a clue about what it takes to keep a house, a budget or save money.

And people give me grief for breastfeeding my 14 month old--saying I'm going to have to let him grow up and be independant. The funny thing is these parents that make comments to me, still have a 23, 22 and 19 y/o living at home. Who needs to let their kids be indepentant?

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with mex on the response to's easy to wonder what might have been, but the reality is, he'd drive you nuts about much of the same stuff that your current husband does. But I think it's natural to wonder sometimes, and it seems like most of you realize you have it good.

Anonymous said...

#827 Check under the bed, likely you will find a towell or an old t-shirt.

Anonymous said...

#827 My guess would be if he keeps his underwear on just pulled down I would check them. That's where I figured out what my husband was doing with it when he was done because it leaves a white stain in the underwear

Zoemonster said...


Yes. Kid #1 bought his own car, pays insurance, and is paying back college loans

Kid2.. the one who actually lives here is saving for a home, often buys the groceries, pays her own health insurance, car etc

I was being tongue in cheek. I was in a somewhat sarcastic way, pointing out that they are smarter than I, who jumped in the world broke, and stayed so:)

Anonymous said...

#824- I can't stand my stepson either. He's 15 and acts like he's 4, and the only reason he does this (he's been tested) is because my husband allows it. I just want SS to go live with his mother in another state somewhere.