Monday, December 12, 2011

True Wife Confessions 326 - Constantine's really bad year

Confession #3261

I'm seeing someone. Someone who calls me beautiful. Someone who likes to dance. Someone who will buy me flowers and birthday presents and anniversary presents. Someone who will take me out and talk to me instead of sitting there and expecting me to carry the entire conversation.
I hate that your mom still babies you. I hate that we're in law school and your parents are constantly, "Have children, I want grand-children, Don't worry we'll take care of them while your in school"
No! I don't want to have children! Is that such a big deal?? And if I do have children, it will be when I'm good and ready! Not when I spend 14 hours a day reading/studying/working.
We were married too young. I adore you. But…I am no longer in love with you. I am no longer 19 and wide-eyed. Still brimming with hope, but wiser.
I want a divorce.

Confession #3262

When I sent the link to your active dating site profile to your fiancé, it wasn't because I want to ruin your life. I wanted to save someone else from making the same mistakes I did before it was too late.

Nobody believes you when you say that I created the profile to try to win you back. They are just too polite to say it to your face.

Confession #3263

I am sorry.

I am sorry that because of me you have lost one of your oldest friends. I know he sat on his issues with my big mouth for 7 years and refused to talk to you about it until now, but it was still my big mouth that caused that rift. You think I shouldn't apologize and I know the fault falls on you as well for telling me everything, but I should of been more respectful. I hope that you can salvage the friendship, I honestly do and I hope he understands now how truly sorry I am as well.

Confession #3264

I always had this feeling that you were only attracted to me for my looks. You always denied it. But two days ago I asked you to name one thing that you loved about me that wasn't physical...and you couldn't answer. Instead, you turned the question around to me. I answered and then you twisted my words and gave me pretty much the exact same answer. Now I know how you really feel...

Confession #3265

We have only been married a year n half but have to say its been my unhappiest. When will u grow a set of balls and stand up to your bitch of a mum!
You stand and let her belittle me all the time and never say a word! The women is a complete and utter control freak, you let her dictate our lives and never give a thought to how it's affecting me and your son.
You will never cut the apron strings and you think you can treat me like ur mum.i am not here to pick up, clean , tidy up after you I do that enough with our 2 year old!
For the last 10 months I have been goin with another man something that u will never b! He has made me realise so much n made me feel loved beyond belief.
After Christmas we will b leaving u...u can't say I didn't try with u!

Your soon to be ex wife

Confession #3266

I hate my husband's family so much. Every last one of them minus the innocent children. But even with the children I have no desire to know them because of how much I hate their parents. I want my children to grow up not knowing anyone from that side of the family. My husband knows all this. That is not a secret. He knows I even will do everything in my power to keep him and my kids away from them from promises of sex to scheduling other things so we can't see his family to actively trying to estrange every member of his family by starting fights with them. My hatred for them was earned by their bad behavior towards me and my kids.

The part he does not know is that if anything ever happened to him I would make sure that his family never saw me or my kids again. Ever. I would also keep them from even being able to attend the funeral or memorial service. I would make it private and not tell them when it is was and station security at the door to keep them out if they find out when it was. I would not even tell them he died. They would probably eventually find out, but I would not call them to tell them. I would move away and leave no forwarding address to his family. I would and will raise my kids to know all the bad things his family did to us. I don't talk about it to my husband because I fear he would make me promise to honor his dying wish and invite them to the memorial service or see the kids and I don't want to have to make a promise to him I would not keep. I also don't want him to get anything done legally to make it where they can see the kids or attend the memorial service. So I keep it to myself. He might suspect I would do something like this, but he also doesn't think about stuff like this either. I do. I think about it all the time. I don't want my husband to die, but if he did I would take such pleasure in getting my ultimate revenge on his family through his death. I would make them feel like the nothing they have always made me feel like.

Confession #3267

You just announced today that you will be spending this Christmas morning at church, instead of at home with your family. We have spent 25 years building family traditions for Christmas! This must be because this is the year I finally couldn't take the fake, plastic religion of the church we've attended for the last 22 years, and quit going. I think I gave it my best shot, but I am not, and never will be an evangelical. Sorry about that, but did you notice that I was entirely uninteresting to the whole church community until I quit going? And then we had pastors demanding to come over and "talk" to me, pastors creepily showing up at my work, people from church who've never spoken to me calling me up to ask me why I wasn't there? Incidentally, it was phone calls from many of the same people who told me all the time what a saint you are and how lucky I am to be married to you? That's just weird. And creepy. Enjoy spending time with them on Christmas. And when the kids and in-laws and your family ask where you are, I'm just going to tell them to talk to you about it. No more running interference for you. Church has always come first for probably should have been the monk you said you wanted to be when we first met. And I should have been smart enough to run the other way from a 25 year old guy who says that kind of thing to a girl on a first date.

Confession #3268

I have loved you for the past 8 years of my life. I took you back after you broke my heart into a million pieces. You convinced me you were wrong and that we belonged together and that you would cherish and love me for the rest of our days. We said nothing short of murder, death or suicide would break us apart. Now after not quite 4 years of marriage this is all a lie and the heart your broke into million pieces is shattered again into two million pieces. You don’t believe in counseling – but divorce is no big deal apparently. Except it is, to me, a big deal. I’m devastated and so angry, I sob myself to sleep every night. And you? Well you just want me to shut up and get out the house already. 10 days from now I’ll be gone from your life forever and I hope someday you realize that you let go of the one person that loved you unconditionally and would have stayed with you till the earth stood still.

Confession #3269

I wish I could have looked into the future and seen that you were going to start flirting with alcoholism. I don't know how to stop it and I don't know how to accept that I can't stop it. I guess I have to start saving money so I can take the dog and get out if I need to.

Yeah. Okay. Right. I guess I better start tracking the bank accounts too, rather than just trusting you to take care of things because you're home all day and I'm working.

Goddammit if I'd stayed single I would still need to save money and track the bank accounts, but at least I wouldn't hear anyone saying hideous things to me. I wouldn't have to tell you that you cannot drive after drinking a bottle of wine. I am so depressed right now, thinking about how awful you get when you drink.

I like wine. I wish I could have wine without setting you off. I wish I didn't have to be perfect just to get through the day.

Confession #3270

For the guy at work who has such an enormous crush that he can barely talk to me:

Thank you. I like you, too. Please, please, please ask me to go get a coffee or dinner after work. I always try to get up the courage but I'm as nervous and shy as you. My answer would be yes though, with no hesitation, no reservations. I'm not proud or picky, I don't care if you take me to the 99 cent taco joint on the corner, I just want to get to know you. Men who like me have always been bold and confident, and they've always been out to use me, spend my money, and tear down my confidence. It's like they see a target; I'd resigned to be alone rather than let another confident man control my life. I can't tell you all that though, I don't want to be Emotional Baggage Girl; what a turn off. Despite my many bad experiences I am remarkably balanced, and I think I could ignore my fears if you were willing to make the first move. I've never had a bashful beau before, this is new to me and I love it. I'm so used to men who show no weakness, and I've learned that no weakness so often means no heart. I love seeing that your weakness is me. Every time you drop by my desk I smile for the rest of the day, sing to myself, and send my girlfriends crazy, giddy text messages. I know, I don't date people at work either. But I would make an exception, I think you are worth the risk. One of our co-workers told me that when he and you went out for a beer after work you couldn't stop talking about me, you had broken up with your girlfriend so you could be free to pursue me and now you are trying to get up your courage to ask me out. Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm humbled and thrilled that you would give up what you had for the chance to ask me out. And the fact that you would do it the proper way, rather than try to keep your options open... I'm speechless. I'm not used to men like you, who do the right thing even before they ask me out. I'm used to the ones who always do the wrong thing; you aren't even really in my life yet and you're already a cool breeze in the desert. And your curly hair and broad shoulders are so hot. I fantasize about hugging you, for God's sake. I wonder what it would be like to be held in your amazing arms. And since you don't button the top button I can see you have the perfect amount of chest hair; I hope you aren't one of those guys who shaves it off. It makes no difference to me, but maybe you should know our co-workers are starting to talk. It's impossible not to notice the tension, the nervous laughs and smiles and halting conversations. They think it's cute, but they wish you'd ask me out already. I wish that, too. I've learned my lesson about asking men out though; it's important to me that you ask me out, every time I've been forward with men I've gotten burned. One of our co-workers is scheming to get us together, and I greatly appreciate his efforts. Next time he asks you if you want to grab a beer after work don't be surprised if he wants to invite me, too.

The blonde girl across the office

Monday, December 05, 2011

True Wife Confessions 45 revolutions per minute

Confession #451

Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.

Confession #452

A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.

Confession #453

Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.

Confession #454

Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.

Confession #455

You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.

Confession #456

Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.

Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.

I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.

In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.

Confession #457

I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.

Confession #458

I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.

Confession #459

As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.

Confession #460

Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.

Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.

Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.

And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.

I just don't know how to leave you.

Monday, November 21, 2011

True Wife Confessions 44 magnum

Confession #441

When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.

Confession #442

Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

but then...

It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!

Confession #443

You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.

Confession #444

Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!

And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.

When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!

Confession #445

I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.

Confession #446

The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.

Confession #447

You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.

You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.

One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.

Confession #448

I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.

Confession #449

I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....

Confession #450

Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.

Monday, October 24, 2011

True Wife Confessions 325 regrets

Confession #3251

I really hate your family and your dad and how your turning out to be just like him. You are both undercover devils. I don't know if I can trust you or to believe what other warn me about you. I'm leaving you one day and all hell will break loose when your family secrets are released including yours.

Confession #3252

I have no idea how we got to this place, this misery that is our marriage. I think of our wedding day and how I was so certain that this was the right decision. We don't seem to be able to forgive each other for anything anymore.

Confession #3253

I'd rather commute 90 minutes each way than work at home. Because when I work at home, you expect me to do things like cook the goddamn dinner. So when I try to be nice, and use my lunch hour to cook the goddamn dinner, you then complain because I forgot to open a window on each side of the house, so the house smells like dinner.

I smelled up the house cooking you DINNER while I WORKED. Fuck you. Seriously, just fuck you, asshole. I'm so glad we haven't had sex in four years, because I don't know how I'd warm up to you after this.

Confession #3254

For 3 years I truly loved you. We struggled together through your fear of commitment and lack of normal romantic gestures (treating our anniversary as a normal day, not doing/giving anything for my birthday, much less in any other date). I was infinitely patient with you because I felt you were worth fighting for.
When I was lying in a hospital bed very sick, you came to visit me everyday despite having all the hassle it required (commuting and walking) and you told me I still looked beautiful even as I lay there unable to move, with tangled unwashed hair and feeling like crap.
To me, your unromantic nature was excusable because you were there through the important things... staying by my side through thick and thin, sharing your loving family with me, helping me with domestic chores without me having to ask, never ever raising your voice at me even when we argued, always touching me whenever we were together, being so generous and loving when we made love...
Which is why I took it so hard when you suddenly, one day after lunch with your parents, told me bluntly that you'd cheated on me, didn't love me anymore and wanted to breakup. Just one week before that you were snuggling with me in bed and asking me how many children I'd like to have. Why did you fill me up with hope only to destroy everything so brutally?!
I couldn't believe it... I cried and begged for a second chance. The pain made me throw dignity out the window. You coldly rejected me and told me to move on.
Well... I did. I cut off all contact with you and dedicated myself to work and improving myself, so I wouldn't be able to think about you. It worked... until 2 weeks later you asked to meet up.
You proposed to me sex with no strings attached. What. The. Hell. How can you look into my eyes and say you don't love me but want to fuck me?! What kind of a monster are you?!
You know that I take relationships very seriously, that I never made out or screwed around with anyone! I lost my virginity to you, idiot! After betraying me, breaking my heart and making me grovel, you're still not satisfied and treat me like your on-call whore!

I hate you now. You should have left me and stayed away, but now you've completely ruined my opinion of you and tainted all the memories I held dear.

Confession #3255

So i finally got the nerves to tell you IT'S FUCKING OVER. The fact that i've had to tell you several times through emails and verbally and you still kept referring to me as your girl is so sad and embarrassing. It's been months since i have not thought of you as my partner and you're still living in my apartment.

I can't believe i gave you ten years of my life. I can't believe i wanted to marry you at one point (you turned me off marriage thats for sure). I can't believe you keep living the same way and have no motivation to better yourself or stop working in retail or for that matter try to grow up and act like a responsible man with priorities. I can't believe you
are so selfish. Now i can't stand you and can't help but roll my eyes when you are not looking. It upsets me that you chose to continue to live in m

I have tried to let go of you with care and compassion but you are making it so hard on me, as though i am responsible for your happiness. I tried to plan a life and a future with you and you would not participate in life. Towards the end you focused on your twitter and facebook fans and became obsessed and i pulled away to focus on myself. I am returning to school to finish my degree like i have always wanted. You never cared or supported me in this and this ads to the
number of reasons why you are a selfish and i am leaving you.

Though i am very proud of you for trying to improve your health by losing weight; i think you are trying to change how i feel about you and it is wayyyyy too late. Remember we went over six months without having sex? I tried to be interested even though i was turned off by your big beer belly. You said you were not interested because i had made a comment about your lack luster one and a half minute performances (lol). Well i had the best sex i have ever had when i was in the Dominican Republic. Better yet i have been having great sex with my childhood friend for the past two months and i am dying to tell you but trying to consider your feelings. He gives me just what i need and me go back to being friends. So you need to stop asking me where i'm going and when i'll be home because i'm tired of lying to you. I know you can't take the truth and i know what you've been up to cause i found the lingerie when you were away in Cali.

Confession #3256

Dear husband
Just a year ago you would beg me to sleep with you ..know you wont even touch me. You go out to eat with your x and your kids and you come home and tell me one day we should eat at that restaurant. I hate you we can't even have a conversation together I hate. I wish I could support myself and I wish you leave without us making a scene. I need to move on its been too many years living like this just for the kids. I truly hate you and if you leave I promise I wont beg you back just leave first ...please just get the fuck out my life . I hate been with just because you support me financially

Confession #3257

I haven’t been home to see my family in over 10 years. Shit, I’m 33. Really? Is it such a big deal for me to go home just once for Thanksgiving? Every year you say that we can go, and EVERY year you come up with some stupid excuse to get out of it. So this year I booked plane tickets for my son and me to go...for an entire week!! We invited you. We knew that a week would be too long for you, but I offered to buy you a ticket to come for 3 days. You (UNBELIEVABLY!!!) agreed that you would come meet my family for the very first time in almost 5 years of us being together. I almost went into shock, but I was sooooo happy that you agreed to finally do something for me!! It made me feel, for once, that you were putting my thoughts/feelings/desires FIRST!! I felt like I was floating on air

Then, as I began the process of getting your ticket, you drop the bombshell on me, YET AGAIN!! As with every other damn thing in our life, your ex-wife has informed you that you will be having your daughter this Thanksgiving. Okay then, fantastic. Once again whatever the ex wife wants comes before your obligations to me. Maybe you could have said something to the effect of: Not this time bitch! For once I’m going to tell you no, because I’m not going to back out on my plans to suit your every fucking desire! ....but no, who are we kidding here?

Well, don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from me for the week that we will be gone. And don’t expect me to continue to go to your family functions on EVERY FRIGGING HOLIDAY, because I’m not going to go....ever again. Maybe you can go to your ex fucking wife’s for Thanksgiving. I hope you starve to death.

Confession #3258

I found the texts on your phone from the woman you work with - and the pictures of her breasts. Maybe you should change your passwords, dumbass.

Confession #3259

I can't believe I became the wife who won't have sex...not because I don't want sex, but because you have spent so many years either just selfishly having your orgasm, or telling me how weird I was for wanting to have sex...and now I think you ask so often because it is the only way you have left of humiliating and dominating me.

Confession #3260

I can't believe I was so naive as to buy into your lies. Thanks so much for convincing me that you loved me -- you're probably the best liar I've ever met. You swept me off my feet -- quite an accomplishment since I'm so cautious by nature. Imagine my surprise when a mutual friend broke the news to me that not only are you a world class liar, you are MARRIED WITH SMALL CHILDREN. How dare you put me in such an insidious position? How dare you disrespect your wife like this and make me feel so used, guilty, ashamed and worthless in the process? And when I confronted you, you gave me such a lame excuse: that you didn't tell me because you loved me so much and were afraid I'd leave you if I knew the truth. YA THINK?!? You are a dirtbag. I'm so angry at myself for falling for your lies. And then -- this is the worst part -- you begged me not to tell your wife "because it would destroy your family". Guess what asshole? I *did* tell her: she has a right to know what a mendacious asshole she lives with. In fact, we had a 2 hour long conversation and compared notes. She's a lovely woman and certainly is wasted on the likes of you. I feel so horrible being the unwitting party to your treachery. I apologized profusely and we both cried. I'm hurt to the core but I'm more hurt for her. She was exceptionally gracious about it all and was grateful that I filled her in on what you're really all about. We "dated" for 9 months --your wife was pregnant for 8 of those months. There are not words enough to describe how low you are. She and I deserve far better than you. Once she divorces you (expect to be served any day now), she's going to clean you out. Better be prepared to live in that car you're so damn fond of. Asshole. Oh, and thanks for the roses you sent today, you jerk. I redirected them to your office along with a note outlining all your misdeeds. Hopefully, word will get around. You don't get to pretend you're Mr. Nice Guy any more. Who cheats on his pregnant wife? Karma will get you, you useless piece of garbage. And one other thing: I've sent your wife all those emails you sent me INCLUDING all the pornographic photos and videos you sent me. We had a good laugh about home made flicks of you masturbating in the family bathroom. Why anybody who is hung like a field mouse would want to memorialize that on film is beyond me but she assures me that soon that'll be up on YouTube -- and copies of it sent to all your colleagues at work. And you deserve every single second of it.

Monday, October 17, 2011

True Wife Confessions 43 Cuarenta y tres

Confession #431

I love you. I love your mother, your sister & your awesome aunt & uncle from California. The reason why I don't want a baby shower, is because your other relatives that do live in the same town are two-faced-ass-holes. You think I don't know what they say about me? The fact that they have a problem that I'm black & white is a big reason why I don't want them near our son after he's born. Its the same bull-shit I had to put up with my racist grandparents.

Confession #432

We are going to be married soon, which I am ridiculously excited about
because you are the most wonderful man I could possibly ask for.
However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day
you'll realize you could do better. When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy. I hate that I
can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex, and that I
can't let you touch or kiss my stomach like you want to. You tell me
all the time how much you love my body and my spirit, and maybe
eventually I'll believe it. But for now, I'll keep sobbing on the inside when we
watch things like Miss Universe and when we go ride rollercoasters and
my fat ass won't fit and I have to get out in front of everyone. Thank
you for not riding the rollercoaster without me.

Confession #433

i love my husband but i hate his job and i can't tell him that i his job. i know he's doing it for us and the country, but i can't handle the nights laying awake alone in our bed. Thinking about our kids wondering if i will have to raise our kids alone and telling them why their dad can't be with them anymore

Confession #434

I left my exhusband's telephone number on a wall, of a public restroom.

I wonder how many calls he got?

Confession #435

Do you remember the time you pulled my hair and said I was worthless? (July 1992) Well, I put that stinky onion under your car seat. Remember how you couldn't figure out where the stink was coming from???? You found the the onion and thought it fell out of the grocery bag. NOPE!! I put it there.

Confession #436

I secretly believe that you have never truly loved me but stay with me because of 1) the fact that I earn a steadier income than you, and 2) the kids. I think now that maybe I should have left you when you had that online affair. By your own admission, it was only because the other woman got cold feet that you never met and had real sex. Not that what I read in your e-mails to each other wasn't a reasonable enough facsimile. I hate you for introducing so much doubt about myself into my life. You are narcissistic, lazy, conceited, and arrogant. You criticize me for doing things you do yourself. You're bossy. I can't count on you to do anything you say you'll do. In order to be with you, I hurt a good and decent man, even if I wasn't in love with him. I think I've been paid back any pain I caused. If it wasn't for our children, I'd say it was a complete disaster and a mistake. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be with you. You really don't deserve me.

Confession #437

You took me out for my "Big Birthday Dinner" and got mad that I got seated without you. You made me cry on my birthday. Then to cap off the night, you asked me to marry you. Yeah, that really was a stunned silence. Fuck you and your very pretty ring. You are an alcoholic prick who takes your frustrations out on the people around you. Go ahead, ask me when we're going to have another baby. Stall your family on when we're going to set the date. I know the answer, do you?
The worst part of it is, I could have loved you.

Confession #438

Honey....I am truly sorry....Your feet really,really........Stink!!

Confession #439

i don't want to have kids with you. THERE! i've said it. i wish that i could get my tubes tied just so i don't have the option to have them with YOU. you are immature and irresponsible and i know that you would be a terrible dad.
you are an alcoholic. you drink 12 beer a day and then pass out on our couch and wonder why i work three jobs just to get away from you.

i hate your family. i always have, always will.

your sister is an adult. why must we spend EVERY birthday with her? she is 28 now...time to move on and find her OWN life.

i hate your entire family: from your over bearing parents to your selfish and narcissistic sister to your immature brother and his wife. you all are self-absorbed and selfish jerks.

Confession #440

I wish you could understand how unhappy I am. I am
only staying with you because I can't support myself
and our children alone. I tell you I'm unhappy, you
promise to change, you never do. I'm not exactly
seeking someone to leave you for at the moment, but I
find myself "forgetting" my to wear my wedding ring
when I go out. Secretly hoping for a nice guy to hit
on me. Fall in love with me. Fall in love with our
children. Take care of us so I don't need to stay with
you. I look at men at the gym, the grocery store, dads
at the park...and wonder....will this be the one?
I used to want to make this marriage work, but not
anymore. Sadly, you see nothing wrong with married
people who spend no time together. We're not much more
than roommates. That's fine. It just gives me more
opportunity to find the REAL man of my dreams.

Monday, September 26, 2011

True Wife Confessions 42 - the ultimate answer

Confession #421

I love you. I love our life. You are a fantastic father and provider. But
oh Lord help me you suck in bed. I haven't had an orgasm with you in the
room in about 16 yrs. I think about having an affair ONLY to have good sex.
One day I probably will do it. Consider this an apology in advance.

Confession #422

I know about her. I know that you were going to leave your family for her and your "strictly platonic relationship" with her. I hate you for that. I hate you for the fact that you said that you didn't leave because you have "obligations". Well guess what asshole!! I'm not an "obligation"! I'm a fucking human being with feelings! And our 5 year old daughter has feelings too moron! Do you honestly believe that the only reason I'm looking for a job is to "help save up money for a house."? You really are a stupid ass!

Confession #423

Where to begin? I'm sick to death of having you use your job as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Not even that it's the top excuse, because usually it's your failsafe, ace in the hole excuse. The final, "I work and pull in a paycheck therefore any behavior is excusable" excuse.

This morning I said, "It just seems like you aren't that interested in me."

Your reply, "I'm on my way out the door, I have to go to work."

WTF does that have to do with ANYTHING? How about, "Of course I am, I love you, I think you're gorgeous! I can't wait to get home and be with you!" Talk about scoring tons of points. Instead you bring up work and make me feel bad for saying ANYTHING negative to you at all.

Everything comes down to you having a job and me being a stay at home mom. Even though you say you are proud that your wife stays home with the kids... you throw your job in my face anytime I ask you to do something differently, as if I am not allowed to voice complaints because I don't "work." I'm sick of it.

Confession #424

I hate that you never compliment me. I've never been with anyone who didn't
occasionally say nice things about my appearance. From the looks I get from
strangers, I know I'm not ugly, so why is it that you can't ever say, "Hey,
you're not looking so bad today!" It wouldn't take much, just anything,
really. I've told you many times that I really need a nice comment every
now and then, and you say you will, but you never do (although, really, no
matter what Dr. Phil says, if I have to tell you to compliment me, it's not
a true compliment). I know I shouldn't base my self esteem on your
compliments, but after so many years of this, I've decided there's a few
things I'm going to let the plastic surgeon fix. The sad part? It won't do
anything. I'm no fool. Logically I know you still won't compliment
me...but damn, you'll have paid for a sweet package for the next man, who
will tell me I'm the most beautiful thing he's seen. And because I love you
with all my heart, that's the last thing I want to happen, but because my
self-esteem is slowly disappearing, it probably will.

Confession #425

Oh god, where do I start? I hate kissing you because you can't kiss. You always suck my bottom lip and get slob on my face. And no, you're dick hasn't grown! What? Have you ever heard of a 30something year old man having a growth spurt? Your cock has always been small and it's because of that that I have to fake orgasms and masturbate like a crazy woman. There is so much more but the more that I type, the more pissed off I get. Oh yeah, one last thing, I hate swinging. I am bisexual and I always have been. I just never told you. I just let you think that I like to swing because it's the only way that I can fuck women without being sneaky about it.

Confession #426

Your inability to function when you so much as get the sniffles never ceases to amaze me. I have taken care of our child when I was projectile vomiting from the stomach flu. I have taken care of her while battling strep throat, bronchitis, and a double ear infection-AND going to work all day. You get a headache and the world comes to an end. GET OVER IT. Take medicine and move on.

Confession #427

STOP telling me I am shrinking your shirts in the dyer. You're getting fat. STOP eating fast food. You'll see a difference. I'm bigger now, too-I admit it. But I know the reason is my excessive eating, which is my coping mechanism for dealing with living with you.

Confession #428

When you try to talk down to me in front of your friends and family, I WILL put you in your place. Been doing it for 8 years, honey. At some point, you will learn that I WILL get in the last word. I especially love it when your mom pulls me aside and asks me what crawled up your ass and died. Validates my feelings.

Confession #429

DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off. Don't claim to be sick and make me do EVERYTHING...and then suddenly feel better when I crawl into bed bone tired. You're not getting any. The only thing I'm getting is SLEEP.
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.

When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off.

Confession #430

Not only do think I don't love you anymore, but I suspect I am starting to hate you. We have only been married for 5 months.

Monday, September 05, 2011

True Wife Confessions 41 Rama cycle

Confession #401

There are a couple of reasons why I won't make doctor
or dentist appointments for you, and not caring about
your health and well being is not one of them. Reason
1: you are a grown-up, you know your own schedule, and
you know how to dial a phone. Reason 2: you never show
up when I make appointments for you.

Confession #402

You adore me and I love you. You treat me better than any man ever has. You do things many men won't. People envy me for being married to you. You will be the best father my children could have. But I still think about my ex every single day. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to not wait for him to give me another chance, but that means I would've never met you. I was just thinking about him when you fucked me, and that wasn't the first time. I'm sorry. I don't think I deserve you.

Confession #403

I hate how you make me feel like I am insane or mental when I have a bad day- and I am grumpy- You tell me I am "not healthy" when I complain to you and I should take a xananx to calm myself-I hate that about you! I hate that you make me feel like I am a bad person for having a stress- filled day- when I stay home with the kids- and I don't have the guts to tell you a lot of the time that you are a HUGE part of it! From having to sweep the floor first thing in the morning because you left mud or whatever all over it - to you calling me and bitching, to you having me make phone calls for you-get over yourself!!- I am not crazy- and if I am on my way it's you, your family, my family, and the kids that I cannot make happy, and the bullshit you all serve to me on a hourly basis that MAKES me act this way!!!! Staying at home with the kids is not an opportunity for me to be everyone's go to girl!!-Screw you all!! DO IT YOURSELVES!!!!

Confession #404

I have finally realized that there is a worse fate than being "single". Before I married you, I had high moral character and dreams for my life. I was in college, had perfect credit, and looked fantastic. Eighteen years with you has left me 100 pounds overweight, bankrupt, uneducated, and tired. I have had to put up with your crazy family, you alcoholism, your lies, your issues, for far too long. I should have left you after I had to deal with your DWI. I should have left you after I found out that you like gay porn. I should have left you when I found out you smoke weed and binge drink the minute I leave the house. The reason I have stayed is because of those precious times that you are kind and good to me. You know, when you act they way you did when I met you. That isn't enough anymore. The last straw is when you told your Mother she could live with us without asking me. I can't stand to be in the house with both of you. I'm leaving you as soon as I can.

Confession #405

Babe? I gotta say it. I'm attracted to your shape, and your love, and your kindness, and the tenderness you show our son, and to me, on an all-the-time basis; but -- oh, my GOD. The toxicity of your breath. It squelches any desire I feel when I come within several inches of you. Do something -- ANYTHING -- about it. Please. I want to sexxx you up, boy, but that breath has GOT. TO. GO. first.

Confession #406

I swear I love you more than anything, but I'm not willing to give her up.
At least not yet. I'm sorry. I'll just keep hiding it and hopefully I'll
never hurt you with the truth.

Confession #407

When we fight or you make me feel bad about myself, I secretly think about the married man I slept with for two years before I married you. He wouldn't leave his wife and kids (though he said in the beginning that he would), but we've messaged each other recently and he still thinks of me as 'the one that got away' and still loves me. I wish you knew that someone else wants me so you'd treat me better.

Confession #408

Without your knowledge, I have left a request, with our children's appointed legal Guardian, that if I should die our children are NEVER EVER to be left alone with your father. Not even for a trip to the Dairy Queen. He is an evil, manipulative pig and that time he mocked our son and made him sob I wanted to rip the glue-on hair off his head and stuff it up his ass. I know you love him because "he is your Dad", but he has never treated you well. A son with qualities like yours deserves a wonderful father--a father like you.

Confession #409

I used to enjoy giving head. You've ruined it for me. You take so goddamned long to finish that I get pains in my jaw and end up with a headache. Most guys get off that way in no time. And just so you know, when I want sex over and done with, I won't give you head...and I'll play with your ears because I know that's your 'hot spot'. I don't do it to satisfy YOU-I do it so you'll finish and I can get some sleep.

Confession #410

Why bother with pretending you're about to get up and get the baby at 2am? Why put up the facade? You know you're only going to sit on your side of the bed and heave and sigh until I give in and get up instead. Why go through this?

If I've been up multiple times with our daughter during the night, and then get up for the day at an ungodly hour, DO NOT come downstairs when it's time for you to get up and be cranky. DO NOT yawn in my face or tell me how exhausted you crappy your sleep was. You got sleep. I, on the other hand, did not. DO NOT tell me how you couldn't fall back to sleep after her crying woke you-if you can't get back to sleep, then YOU get up with her. I can get back to sleep no problem. Since you can't, perhaps you should take her on during the night more often.

Monday, August 22, 2011

True Wife Confessions 40 oz of whoop ass

Confession #391

It was ME who keyed your car door after the concert when you were acting like a prick.

Confession #392

I'm pretty sure that you love me more than I love you. I don't really feel any kind of passion for you anymore. Beyond the usual doses of typical marital annoyances, I do feel deep friendship, fierce loyalty, unending devotion and the utmost admiration. I hope these are enough to get me through the next sixty years, because I really want to see how this thing turns out.

Confession #393

I love you. You knew I was falling in love with you all the while. I told you. But then, before you left, you acted all shocked, and told me you didn't want that to happen. That you didn't feel that way about me. But then you stayed here for another 3 days before you had to go. I don't understand why, if you KNEW ALL ALONG WHY YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SOONER. And don't use going to war as an excuse. Bullshit.

Confession #394

I hate that you are an alcoholic. I hate that you
won't get help. I hate that you pee some nights in
bed. I hate that our kids know there is a problem. I
hate that my small son knows the word "drunk". I hate
that you blare your music so loud we wake up. I hate
the way you talk to me while drinking. I hate when
you try to grope me when you are totally smashed. I
hate beer cans and cigarette butts left on our lawn.
I hate feeling embarrassed because of you. I hate
when you ruin my plans by drinking. I hate going out
with you because I feel like I can't enjoy myself
100%. I hate being so darn weak that I stay with you.
Most of all I hate that you know all of this and
don't seem to care.

Confession #395

I hated you even more today than I thought I have in a long time. You drove like a fucking maniac, weaving in and out of traffic in the city and then on the parkway, with the road all slick from the rain, WITH OUR 19-MONTH OLD IN THE BACK. I begged. I pleaded for you to slow down, remember that your son is in the back. You barked at me like a fucking animal. You bullied me with your driving. The part of the ride where we stopped talking, when I was staring out of the window looking at the lights...I was trying to convince myself that I really could divorce you and financially survive. That no matter how much a son needs his father, he needs to grow up in a happy and healthy environment too. I was realizing that I can leave your lowlife ass and I will survive, and me and my son will make it. My family puts up with you, but trust me, my mom would be dancing in the streets if I told her I was leaving you, you piece of shit. Your family never taught you any respect for anyone but yourself. Hope that right hand falls off. You don't deserve us. Loser.

Confession #396

I have been lying to you about money to get back at you for not loving me, for blaming your lack of desire for me on me being fat, and for spending more time in front of the computer playing online poker and looking at perverted porn. And now that it's coming to a head, I can't wait to get caught because then you will either wake up to what's wrong with our marriage or let me out.

Confession #397

I am dying to cheat on you. If it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. If you don't value our marriage, why the hell should I? How stupid do you think I am? "I can't wait to kiss you, love [you]" found in your inbox and you claim your email account was hacked into? I'm only glad I forwarded all of them to myself so I you can't deny they were there. I was pregnant with your second child, for God's sake. I will NEVER forgive you for that, and of course I don't trust you. Give me a reason to do so and I will. Until then I can't.

Confession #398

Nothing could ever split us up, but there are a few things that are pissing me off. Take for example your constant guilt trips. I don't need them. I'm aware that you are a great husband, and that you are allways doing what I want to do and constantly entertain me. But that doesn't mean I have to pay you back in sex every 12 hours. I have a life! You, apparently, do not, and that is your business not mine.

And one more thing... Stop bugging me about having a baby! Me and you aren't the type of people that should procreate! We're selfish bastards! You don't know the first thing about babies, you only want one so that it might mold me into the 'perfect wife/mother'. News flash: not the right reason to have children!

Confession #399

sweetie, I love you. but would you put your goddamn dirty socks in a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor wherever you took them off? it's embarassing when people come over. it's not like I don't have five hampers going at any given time. learn to use them.

also. when I come to your work to pick you up. why cannot you get your ass out to meet me when I am actually driving up? no matter what I do, you STILL wait until you see the car parked in front of your office building before you stop doing what you are doing, ride down fifteen floors and come outside to meet me. you say you don't want to be left waiting--but it's OK to leave *me* waiting for *you* with two screaming kids in the car? wtf! your time is more important than ours? fuck that.

Confession #400

Yes, I'd love to have another baby too. I have room for more than one in my heart.

Unfortunately, I don't have room in my day for another child. I do at least 95% of the care for our current one together. I'm sure you'd love to have another baby. Considering that I'd go insane though, maybe it's not the best idea. I can't be a full time mom, full time employee, full time wife, and part time stepmom to anyone else.

Sorry. Step up to the plate and maybe one day I'd consider it. Until then, no I won't stop taking the birth control.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

True Wife Confession 324 sleepless moments

Confession# 3241

Arrrggh! You really piss me off.

You got new hours at work a year ago, the 1pm-10pm shift, supposedly so we both would have days we got to sleep in and so you could help take care of our kid in the morning. This has proved to be complete bullshit. YOU sleep in 90% of the time. I'm up at all hours with the kid, and you sleep.

The kid wakes up in the night and calls for us loudly over the monitor. You don't move. Don't so much as twitch. So I end up getting up with her a few nights a week, sometimes I end up staying up for HOURS because she won't go back to sleep, and you STILL don't get the fuck up with her in the morning and let me recuperate.

This weekend I got up with her both mornings. You apologized for not giving me a day to sleep in. Last night, she woke up at 4:30am and didn't go back to sleep at all. When she came into our room at 6, you didn't move. Guess who got up with her yet again. Have I mentioned I'm two months pregnant?

You always apologize. "Oh, I meant to get up with her today." Actions speak louder than words. My favorite is when you add, "Why didn't you wake me up?" I AM NOT YOUR KEEPER. You're 41 years old. Act like it.

Seriously. You're fucking lazy and I'm sick and tired of it. This child isn't only mine. Get the fuck out of bed and take care of her once in a goddamn while. And you wonder why I want to take a weekend away from you and she both (and for the record, I never have, not in the 3 years she has been on this earth)...I'd LOVE to fucking SLEEP FOR ONCE. You will NOT be getting away with this shit when baby #2 arrives in February.

Confession #3242

So you and I have been apart for four months now... again. I am so sick of being the on-again, off-again couple that everyone hates to hear about. I could have messed up early and married you as I wanted to but my Dad saved me from that.. thank goodness for caring parents who know more than kids. You told me something today that I had been expecting to hear: "I want you." You also said, "I love you." My heart aches for you because I know you are not strong. You need someone to make you feel whole. I am moving on and I am seeing things more clearly than ever. You can't even be un-selfish in asking me back. Yes, YOU miss me, YOU want me.. What do I want? You didn't even ask. I want to be happy and move on with my life. What was in the past needs to stay there. I love you. I still do after all this. I love you with all my heart which is why I am saying no. It's why I'm pushing you to grow on your own. Our relationship was not a healthy one and I will miss it, but I am not going to rekindle it with you. I will be here as your friend, but our relationship is finished and I want to keep it that way. Otherwise you and I will just grow to hate each other and I think that would tear you apart more than me keeping you at a distance. It only hurts us both to think about what was and can never be again. Let it be.

Confession #3243

Dear guy I am talking to on the internet: I don't know you, really. But thanks for just making me feel smart and funny and maybe even a tiny bit desirable. There isn't anything that is going to come of our once a day email, but I enjoy having someone talk to me like an intelligent adult human, even briefly.

Confession #3244

The hardest thing I've ever done is summon the strength to keep away from you. You know how much I love you -- we both know you aren't worth it. You have lied, cheated and manipulated me. You've kept me on a string for nearly 6 years, either showering me with affection or withdrawing it. It's a sick version of "he loves me, he loves me not". It breaks my heart to realize that I meant nothing to you -- that when you went on about my beauty, it wasn't just endearments. It really was all you saw of me -- what you called a "flawless body and a beautiful face" were the only things that kept you around. As if that's all there was to see, or maybe you just couldn't be bothered to look any further. Nothing else about me interested you even slightly. I was nothing more than a toy to you.

I know I'll always love you -- but you're toxic to me. I can't trust you as far as I can throw you -- every word you say is a lie. I've tried to leave you before but I always came back. The last time you said you didn't even miss me because you knew I'd be back.

I won't be back any more. You've wasted years of my time, destroyed my self esteem, tried to Gaslight me with your lies, wounded me with your words, dismissed my concerns, denigrated my feelings: I've finally had enough.

It's been months now since I've been in touch with you. I bet you're still expecting me to come crawling back to you.

I wonder how you'll react when it finally sinks in that this time, I'm gone for good.

Confession #3245

We've been divorced for a little over a year and you married a person that you'd dated for 2 weeks, is way younger than you and who obviously has an agenda, as you aren't that great of a catch. I honestly don't care what you do unless it affects our children and yes, this is affecting our children in a major way, in a bad major way. You cannot expect them to immediately embrace your new wife and her kids, you just can't. You didn't give them time to get to know her and now you expect them to be all happy and The Brady Bunch. It doesn't help that she's being aggressive with the kids and trying to force them to do things they don't want to do and isn't willing to give them time, not that you are. They have a mother and they have siblings, you can't expect them to totally embrace a new family that is being shoved down their throats.

What really kills me is that you are so in loooove and so happy and nothing else matters. That would be fine if you weren't a dad but you are, they should be a priority to you but they aren't. You're too busy being Father of the Year to your wife's kids and my kids are, once again, getting next to nothing from you. How do you think that make them feel?

You told me that you don't want to end up lonely and alone like your dad. The bad news is that you will. She will eventually get what she wants from you and leave you. Your kids won't have anything to do with you or just give you token visits and you will be alone. But, it will all have been of your own doing. You told them that your 2nd marriage was a chance for you to "do things right" and when our daughter asked why you couldn't do things right with/for them, you had no answer other then it was too late for you and me. Yes, it is too late for us and I wouldn't take you back if you were the last man on the face of the earth, but you have these wonderful kids who love you and only want to spend time with you and you can't seem to get that through your thick head. They will eventually stop trying and caring and when they are older, they'll want nothing or next to nothing to do with you, like what happened with your dad. You are in charge of your destiny and it will happen.

It makes me sick to know that you wouldn't touch me unless you wanted sex, you never in over 20 years paid me a genuine compliment and you acted like you not only didn't like me but you didn't love me and were embarrassed by me. You told me that you were attracted to me because of my sense of humor and because I always had fun. What changed? I sure didn't. I'm still the same person but you changed and for the worse. Now, you're all in love and she's so beautiful and you have to be with her 24/7, you do things with her and her kids, things we could never do because we never had the money. It's sad for our kids and sad for me, as you obviously never really loved me and while I do believe you love them, you are so selfish that you can't or don't want to see how your impulsive and selfish actions are affecting them.

Karma is a bitch and she will find you. You will get what you deserve and I will, once again, pick up the pieces so my children won't be hurt by you, once again.

Confession #3246

It is hard to believe I fell in love with such a coward.

Confession #3247

I knew I should have been smarter to listen to other people. I knew it was too soon to marry you, I did it because I thought you were the one and you promised me what I had been looking for in a relationship honesty. I remember your exact same words "I promise that I will always tell you the truth no matter how bad it is, and the reason I say this is because I have been hurt before". I knew I had to marry you, but then I realized you were never in love with me, you were just achieving one of your goals in life, checking that to-do list you always carry around. You thought you could fall in love in the way, and you made me believe you loved me and I could trust you. Since the first lie I caught from you, You have never been able to admitt your mistakes, you make a big fight about it, end up saying me that I am stupid, retarded, inmature you ask me to leave the house, give you back the rings, and today it ended with you hitting me for the first time. This marriage is a charade to make you happy in front of your friends, but when we are alone you shut me out, you are cold and you barely talk to me. Oh but thats right you dont talk to me because you say I'm too stupid to understand. Well then you understand this, I WANT OUT.

Confession #3248

When you yell at our daughter, for no good reason except that you don't like the way she is being a child? I hate you for it.

Confession #3249

We gave each other "hall passes" and I used mine, three days later, with your closest cousin just two days before he baptized our child. I should feel horrible because you and I are still madly in love, but I don't. The thing that I can't stop thinking about was how making love to him was almost exactly like making love to you. You both are eerily similar in bed.

Confession #3250

We've been trying to put things right in our marriage. Years of anger and bitterness, and we were doing all right. Until the night I said I didn't want to have sex. And you insisted. So I said I really didn't want to- maybe in the morning, but not then. And You told me I Had to, that it was my job as a Wife. So, instead of fighting, I lay there while you fucked me. I lay there crying, looking away from you. And you just fucked me until you'd finished and said "thanks" and walked out.

You drove a stake into any heart that was left beating in our marriage right then. There is no future with you. I must plan my escape from you, because nobody deserves to be treated like that.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

True Wife Confessions - 39 Steps

Confession #381

I desperately want to trust you, but your lies have made that very hard. I waited for her to come out of work one day, so I could see what she looks like. I even took pictures of her and followed her home, and she never had a clue. She stopped at a liquor store and started drinking before she even got home. I don't know what you see in her. She must have flattered you, because we had a good life together and you selfishly traded it for her. I saw what you wrote to her about me and it has broken my heart. You did nothing to let me know you were unhappy. How unfair of you. I thought we had a wonderful marriage and I have been cheated of it. I know you say you are done, but I can't trust you. I am a stranger in my own life.

Confession #382

You say that I have to get a job now that the kids are in school, and I
want to have a job again, a career. I know that we can't survive
financially without it. However, I've dragged my ass for a year because
I know how it will be, me going to school online full time, working 30
hours a week for shitting wages and maximum hassle, and still taking
care of the kids, house, pets and all the other details of our lives
that you never even think about. You promise that you'll help out more
when I get a job, but you promised that when I went back to school. You
don't even have the first idea how to pick up some of the things I do
around here, and you make no attempt to find out. Every time you talk
about equal rights for women and your feminist mother I laugh on the inside.

Confession #383

You think you are better than me, but you aren't. Really, I can't figure out why you feel that way. I supported you for at least 5 of our 7 years together, even when you were so scared of commitment you wouldn't even call me your girlfriend, much less propose. I paid your mortgage for two years while you slept in my bed in my home with me. You let your mother and your sister emotionally abuse me for years and did nothing to stop them because you didn't want to make waves. You are selfish and you are cruel. I may not be a gorgeous woman, but I deserve a hell of a lot better than this.

Confession #384

I hate that you make me feel like a piece of shit for practically everything I do.

I think it's crazy that if I make a mistake you never let me forget about it and act like it will happen all the time because i'm that stupid. Like the time the mortgage payment got skipped somehow and you then stopped putting money into the account because you wanted to actually write the checks out to pay some of the bills. Yet you still just hand me a pile of money and say here. Well, what the fuck you aren't doing what you say you are going to dick head!! And it was a mistake. You act like you never make mistakes. You are not god.

About money, you lived here for free right down to me paying for your car insurance for 4 years. Then we got married and I got pregnant and you wanted me to stay home yet you only give me $750 a month for the bills and I put in $1500 from my fathers estate. Then you yell at me because I use my credit cards to cover expenses sometimes. Well, what do you expect me to do, pull money out of my ass??

Confession #385

If I'm good enough to make love with you, share my home with you, and look after your children, then I should be good enough to be your wife. I'm too old to be a "girlfriend."

Confession #386

You really are a good man. You have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You're a true family man. Deep down, though, I suspect that no one else would put up with either one of us and our quirkiness. If we were married to other people, I don't think either one of us would have stayed married 15 years. I'm too quick to run my mouth and you're too quick to change your mind about stuff.

Sometimes when I am really hacked off at you, I know I stay with you because you are a good father to our kids. When you set limits with them, it's out of love. If they had a stepfather I'd never let him discipline the kids because I'd never be sure if he was doing it out of jealousy and spite or out of loving concern.

If I could change anything about you at all, it would be this: I wish you were more of a hugger and kisser and hand holder. You're romantic in your own way, but I could use a little more affection. I guess these confessions aren't really new to you. You already know how I feel.

Finally, I do want you to know that I love you and I truly hope you outlive me. I don't ever want to have to mourn you.

Confession #387

I resent a lot of things about you. For instance, I resent the fact that you are able to leave a job because you don't like it and I have to stay at mine even though I hate it. You left a job that was earning you more than enough money because it was "not for you" and took a job making much less. Now I'm stuck making up the difference in incomes at a job I HATE every day. I can't leave like you could because I don't have the person at home working her butt off to give me the leeway, like I did for you. It seems like you always end up being the person who gets to be coddled, and I'm always the one who has to "be strong". I also resent you for not being considerate enough to at least give me a chance to tell you how unhappy I am without you making it into something about YOU. (Maybe it is all about you after all. Maybe you're what's wrong with me.)

Confession #388

I secretly pray that you will cheat on me so I can leave you without being the bad guy to our kids.

Confession #389

We upload our photos to the same photo-storage site, and it disgusts me to see that you take photos of women's asses. Seriously, WTF? You see a woman walk by in tight jeans and you are compelled to take her photo without her permission? You are violating those women's privacy you big fucking pervert. And what creeps me out is that your BioDad does the same damn thing, I know because he uses the photos as his screensavers on his computer! Is this like a genetic compulsion the two of you have? Do the two of you not care at all how it makes your wives feel? Go ahead and look all you want, but don't put those photos in a folder where I can see them. Asshole.

Confession #390

I am scared to death of living the rest of my life without feeling passion, and never being in love. I feel like a friend towards you these days instead of a wife and lover. I feel like I settled for an okay relationship instead of waiting for a great one, simply because I didn't want be alone and because I knew you would never hurt me like the others had. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. You are a good man and you deserve to be loved thoroughly instead of halfheartedly.

You deserve better than me. Because if he came to me right now and said he loved me and wanted to be with me, I would go with him in a heartbeat.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Desperately Seeking...Something Relaunch

So, it has taken me about 6 months more than I anticipated ( and a small fight with google-mail about the account where I store the pictures)

But Desperately Seeking has a new Home.

A Tumblr Blog. New Home, slightly different format - Same old Cock Shots.

Come, join the funny.

Monday, July 25, 2011

True Wife Confessions - 38 Special

Confession #371

When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm

Confession #372

I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.

Confession #373

We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "In
sickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We've
gone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, and
now my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you both
are amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,
you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping us
scrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.

I love you both so much.

And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. And
that hurts more than any physical pain could.

Confession #374

You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,
I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account is
empty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I tell
lies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want to
stop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself to
face the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'll
leave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to get
back to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want this
debt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorry
I've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.

Confession #375

When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.

Confession #376

Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!

Confession #377

I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.

Confession #378

I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.

Confession #379

You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we do
it on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,
now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after I
go back to work and resent me for not giving in.

Confession #380

You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.

You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?

Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!

I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

True Wife Confession 323 summertime moments

Confession #3231

I confess -- a part of me will love you until my dying day. You were the love of my life, and the sex was the best I've ever had in my life of over 50 years.

But I finally had my fill of your bullshit regarding us trying to work things out; you were clearly just stringing me along. Just playing games until I "figured it out", as you claimed you were doing with your sexting with Kathy? Well, I did figure it out. Fuck you and your mind games.

If you remember nothing else about me, remember this: "she was smarter than I ever gave her credit for". I'll never have contact with you again.

Confession #3232

It has taken over 15 years, but you have finally listened to me and figured out how to get me to orgasm. Of course, the amount of the shitty sex I have had to tolerate is epic. Not to mention the phase where you didn't seem to care that I wasn't enjoying sex and would just come as fast as you could as I pretended to be somewhere else.

Confession #3233

In the past month I did a short sale on the house, moved to a small apartment and attended our divorce hearing (thankfully, you were not there). I buried a friend and my grandmother within ten days of each other and am helping another friend battle cancer. My money is extremely tight, I have no savings and work is stressing me out….and I am still happier then I was when we were married!!! Divorcing you was the BEST thing I could have done for myself!!!

The last eight years of our ten year marriage were a miserable, depressing, anxiety ridden existence that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. You quickly stopped trying to make an effort to maintain a healthy relationship and chose to sit on your ass behind your computer and expect me to do everything. You blamed me for what wasn’t right in your life, could not accept constructive criticism or responsibility for anything and tried desperately to bring me down into your own dark pit of hell. You resented me for trying to better myself by getting healthy while you grew fatter each day. You alienated family and friends, expected me to be there for you financially and emotionally, and once in a blue moon physically, but my needs were of no concern to you.

You are a sad, selfish, pathetic excuse for a human being and my biggest regret is not leaving you sooner. I have good friends and family, I am dating (I forgot how great sex could be) and my mind is at peace. I don’t wish you any harm or evil but I don’t feel the need to ever acknowledge the fact you exist on this planet ever again. GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

Confession #3234

You say you don't want my sister to visit.

Fuck you, your father who stayed for four months, your niece who turned the house upside down, and you again.

Confession #3235

Your BBQ is terrible. I know you think it is a miracle and some kind of manly acomplishment, but ugh. Just terrible.

Confession #3236

I don't love you anymore. I don't want to be your wife but I'm stuck in how I should go about leaving you. I think you are a mongoloid and that we have absolutely nothing in common besides our two children and eating and drinking. I really wish you would speak intelligently and have interest in more things than watching bad television and car parts. You are a terrible lover and in fact, I lost interest in sex with you when you seemed to have forgotten that I enjoy orgasms too, which was YEARS ago. One of the last times we had sex was one of the worst experiences of my life. Your breath was so bad that I wanted to gag and it was all I could do to withstand the torture of those 7-10 minutes (sadly standard for you). I had sex with another man and he ravaged me for two hours: I haven't felt this alive in years. I don't hate you, I just want out.

Confession #3237

I wrote to you about two years ago about wanting to sleep with a co-worker. I did not because my husband went through my email and found some of our correspondence. He confronted me on what was going on. It was a huge mess with many touch and go moments of if I would stay or leave. It took a counselor and sheer determination to fix it our problems. . We are closer than we have had been in years and I find myself enjoying his corny jokes.

Confession #3238

I will not let you intimidate me. I will not bow to your whims. YOU NO LONGER HAVE THAT POWER OVER ME.
I will do what is right for our daughter not what you want for YOU.

Confession #3239

I want to leave you. We don't have a good marriage --- I married you for all the wrong reasons. I loved the adventure of relocating from the States to England and not the man. You are sweet and good to me.

We have arguments (which seem to be increasing more and more) that can get ridiculous and lots of truths come out when we're mad. Bottom line I want to go back home. I miss my single life. I had a good job and great home. I'm too chicken to tell you this, my plan is to leave while you're at work.

Confession #3240

Sometimes, I encourage the cat to shit in your basement. If he's going to be accused of it he might as well deserve it.

Monday, May 23, 2011

True Wife Confession 37 plays of Shakespeare

Confession #361

I know you don't want me to see the man we swapped with because his wife is out of town and this is suppose to be a couples thing, but if he calls I'm seeing him. I love you more than I've ever loved any man but I can't get him off of my mind.

Confession #362

I walked away.... I believed I had valid reasons, just like I believed that we would end up together forever. I could never have imagined that you would die less than a year later. And now after 10 years without you, I still look around and sob when I can't find you.

Confession #363

You know, flowers are still acceptable to give to your wife. I'm not asking for dozens of red roses, but you'd be amazed at the power of a simple thoughtful gesture like this. It would make me so very happy, but you say it is a waste of money.

Confession #364

I make up complaints about you when I'm with my
friends. They don't believe me if I talk about
how well we really get along or how wonderful you
really are to me. I don't want to lose my
friends, so I make up complaints, and the sad
part is that they still wonder how they can get
their husbands to act the way you do. I'm sorry
and I love you.

Confession #365

I am not married. But you are. She's gone now. Halfway around the world. My biggest fear's are that I will never be what she once was to you: Youre wife-(second time around will be old news); youre first born. Im scared to ask you when you will legally be divorced because i fear that you will tell me that she is coming back, with the baby, and we will be over. So i will let these questioning thoughts eat away at me. They hurt a lot less than the thought of being without you.

Confession #366

I started smoking again, after 5 fucking years, because of you, you stupid asshole. Right now, it's only in need of some serious emergency soothing. Hope it just stays like that, or until the pack runs out. I had to go drive to the park & ride late at night just to smoke one and stare at the moon. To think about the guy who I stopped seeing when I met you, stupidly. Whose number is still in my cell. The only one who knew just how to touch me,the one I think about every time i watch "the notebook", the one you should 've taken notes from. G-d, I'm such a shmuck for giving that up for you...

Confession #367

Every morning when I wake up, I think of him. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night. Then I get angry with myself and try to focus on you. You deserve a wife who wants to be with you. I want to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have not been unfaitful with my body, but my mind is somewhere else every day.

Confession #368

I wanted to cry when I found out you felt as though you disappointed me. Times were tough and I'm so glad we pulled through, but I know now I let you down when you needed me most. I was so scared. I thought I was worried about you, but there were times when I was more worried about myself-what would it mean to ME if you changed. We both have our problems, but you are fabulous. What we have together is better than I ever dared to hope for. You've done so much for me, but I let you down. For that I am so ashamed. I will never be able to apologize enough. Sometimes I think I really don't deserve you.

Confession #369

I lied at the doctors office the other day.....again. "will he be here to take you home after the treatment?" um, no he is out of town. when they took me back to the room some materials where there about resources for the single parent. they know i lie about where you are. and when you call during and i try to be brave and say i feel ok after i have puked a few times, and you know i feel bad and you say "i don't know what but i am going to do something nice for you tonight" and i get so happy with those words, and i am pathetic because you did not do anything nice. and when the treatment was done, the nurse said, "honey, please make sure there is someone here next week to give you a ride home"

Confession #370

When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you.

Monday, May 02, 2011

True Wife Confessions 36th Chamber of Shaolin

Confession #351

Sometimes, when you are being a complete jerk, I stick my tongue out at you or give you the middle finger when you are not looking. Immature, yes. But it's the only way I can think of venting my anger in the moment without going off on you and telling you what I really think. If I ever did that, we'd be done.

Confession #352

You have had too many chances and fucked them all up. I am sick of being threatened with the possibility you will cheat. I know you say you haven't cheated, but in my mind, looking for "discreet sex" behind my back is just as bad. Couple this with your drinking, lack of interest in anything but yourself, the years of being unemployed that I supported you, and your inability to do any menial task for yourself and what to you get? You get two weeks to get yourself some intensive mental help, or else I am going to help your ass out the door.

Confession #353

When you say, "I'll clean up the kitchen, honey" I kinda expect it to know...CLEAN. My idea of a fun morning is not scraping crusted on food from the dishes you tossed in the sink. At least scrape them and put them in the dishwasher. And you want to know why you had no hot water for your shower this morning? Because you were too lazy to do this very job last night when you SAID you would. Lazy jerk.

Confession #354

When I picked you up, I thought this was going to be a two week thing or no better than a booty call, I mean was serially dating getting over getting over an abusive, lazy man and you told me you hated animals but I have a spoiled dog and I didn't trust men anymore, let alone have faith in them.

Then you came to see me at home every weekend and sat with my mom and played with my cousins I though: Oh my!

Then you got me blue (YES, BLUE!) roses cause you knew I hated the red roses my ex used to bring me to "appease me" I thought I was seeing things!

When I had the "Deadly Mutaba Virus" and I was coughing like a dog and my chest hurt so bad but you hugged me even harder so I wouldn't cry out in pain.. I could not believe my luck.. When you got sick cause you sat next to me and covered me up with kisses for a solid 3 days and spoke for me so I wouldn't lose what little voice I had; I loved you more than I have ever loved another human being cause instead of going out to drink and smoke pot like my ex used to do when I used to get sick YOU STAYED

When I was scared and I cried, you cried because you never see me cry and you couldn't believe I was holding so much in and then you proceeded to make me laugh, to reassure me you are here for me and that you love our life AND OUR SPOILED BABY DOG too….at that time I said a silent prayer of thanks to God for putting you in my life, J my love I thank you for all that you've given me and all the love and all "five minutes arguments", and the fun and the games of card….I hope to be able to give you back in this lifetime at least half of what you've given me.

Confession #355

I sometimes worry that our first child isn't yours. It is possible that the guy I met on spring break is the dad – but I couldn't even tell you his last name. At this point, it doesn't seem like it would do any good to tell you. But every time he gets blood work done I am petrified that we'll find out for sure. Now that our daughter is here, I worry that her blood type will give it away.

I think you wonder too. And thank you that you've never investigated further.

Confession #356

ok so yes I am 41 years old and still have a diary, but girls of my age called them journals. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY JOURNAL !!
So now I will have to burn it, yes I am writing about you- of what a pain in the ass you are and how I am SICK OF YOU BEING SUCK A F+*%#ING PUSSY!
and yes I DO talk to other people here at work and YES some of them are guys. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM TALKING LOVE TO THEM. I AM JUST TALKING ABOUT STUFF WITH SOME OTHER THEN YOU - you sick head.

Confession #357

I hate that you get mad at my mom for the way she is, yet your mom is a walking anxiety disorder and you think that she is making sense. I hate that we can't sit out on the deck and get drunk and make passionate love because you don't really drink. I do. I drink when you go to bed. I love my time alone. I love you, yet I don't feel passionate about you anymore. I want that back. And I think about my long-ago ex, for whom I did feel passion, every minute of every hour. I want to call him.

Confession #358

I hate that you don't listen. I hate that you interrupt me when I try to speak and talk over me when you want to change the subject. Despite what you think, the world does not revolve around you. The real reason that your friends call and talk to me instead of you? They think that you are an arrogant, rude, know it all and are tired of your bullshit and feel sorry for me because I have to put up with you.

Oh, and one other thing. That phony accent that you came up with to make yourself sound smarter and to disguise where you are really from? It is really annoying. And completely transparent. You sound like Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island.

Confession #359

I long for you to touch me more. Hugging, Kissing. Anything. You could repair so many things if you'd just touch me more. Not sex - that's the only time you do touch me , or when you've fucked something up so badly that you fear I'll leave you. A Caress. A hand holding. Although I've told you this a million times, you never do. I'm lonely. This is what will drive me to another man some day.

Confession #360

I knew we shouldn't have gotten married when we were at the hospital having our first baby and all you could think about was your cell phone. I made the decision to start preparing to leave when I was 7 months pregnant with #2 and you cheated on me with some 24 year old named Lisa. I decided to leave on Sept. 24, 2005 when we were in Mexico having the most rotten day of my life. I led you on when you wanted to move 1200 miles away from YOUR hometown -- said what a good idea it was to go live near my parents and get a "fresh" start. Now it's been 6 months since we moved, 3 months since you left here to go back to your momma. Guess what -- I just paid a private investigator to find your ass... you will have all the creditors after you (like they've been after me) AND have to pay for children I hope you will never see. And, remember that guy that I had a fling with when we were on a break 7 years ago? He's a better dad to your kids than you'll EVER be. As soon as this divorce shit is over, I'm taking all MY SHIT and moving back to MY hometown to be with him -- still 1200 miles away from you.