Monday, September 11, 2006

True Wife Confessions 70 - Platinum, Baby.

Confession #691

The way you yell and scream at other drivers when you are driving? I hate it. I've told you how much I hate it. That I hate the swearing and aggression. I feel it slide over into me as I sit in the passenger seat. I hate that you have followed people to scream at them when they have done something you feel to be stupid or insulting. Today when you gave that woman the finger and slowed down to mouth "Fuck you" to her TWICE, and I called you on it and you turned on me and told me to "shut the Fuck up, before you smacked me"...and then repeated it at the top of your lungs? With our daughter in the car?

Your anger issues will either give you a stroke, or get you killed. I only hope that the stroke kills you outright because I don't think I have the energy or desire to nurse you for the rest of your life.

Oh, and I'm not driving with you anymore. If you can't control your anger, at least I can decide to not be in the car with you.

Confession #692

Bitching to me about how now that I've gone back to work, you have no time to relax...While I have dinner cooking on the stove, laundry in the washer and dryer, while our child is clawing at my legs, and I am still in my dressy work clothes-while you sit on your fat ass in the recliner with the remote...Dumb move, asshole. You're doing jack shit around here...I'm back to working 40-50 hours a week AND doing all the household chores. Shut up and fold the fucking socks...you can even do it while you sit on your fat ass...I don't care. JUST DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN TAKE UP SPACE.

Confession #693

You have been on a business trip all week. During that time, our son behaved like a horrible little monster. I am burnt out and need a break. You haven't seen our son all week but you couldn't be bothered to spend time with him because you had a movie you wanted to watch. When I ask you to spend time with our son it doesn't mean, "Que a movie up for him in one room so that you can go watch a movie in another." And it really, REALLY pisses me off that you insist on watching violent movies when he's around. IF he wonders into the room and sees even two seconds of it, he gets nightmares from them. And its not YOU he wants at 4 a.m. when he's scared shitless, its me. I pay the price for your selfishness. I feel like I live with a 15-year-old BOY. And it really angers me. If you keep pissing on the fire, so to speak, don't be surprised if when it goes out.

Confession #694

After we have had a fight, you become the most attentive father on the face of the earth. Too bad you have to be such a miserable asshole to step up and act like your daughter is not a giant burden on your time and energy. No one cares how fucking sick and or tired you are. Oh, and don't act like you've done me some HUGE favor when you spend time with her outside, or take her for a bike ride. What the fuck do you think I do every day of the week?

Confession #695

I truly regret that I was such a bitch to my college sweetheart. Because he was a wonderful, caring man. I was so possessive and had such low self-esteem that I got jealous at the drop of a hat. And he paid the price. And I was also too stupid to know what a gem he truly was. Now he's married with children. I don't mind when you make up some stupid excuse not to come with me to visit my parents. Because when you don't come with, I drive past his house at night hoping that maybe I'll see his face through a window or tinkering around in his garage. I've been doing this for 6 years. Recently, I got a glimpse of him. As the garage door was closing, he was taking milk out of his truck and heading into his house. He has no idea I drive by.

I hear his wife is a total shrew. I hear he's not happy. It breaks my heart because after the hell I put him through, he DESERVES to be happy. But I still hold out hope that maybe someday he and I will wind up together. And I fantasize that you and his wife (since you are both cold, vindictive people who withhold affection and sex to punish) wind up together too. Sounds like you'd be perfect for each other.

Confession #696

Don't be passive aggressive...offering me the remote and then bitching about what I choose to watch-SHUT UP. If you know you'll hate whatever I put on, then don't offer up the remote...I knew what your motive was-you thought you'd be 'nice' so I'd have sex with you later. Didn't work, did it?

Confession #697

You bitch about how we're broke but yet you spend money on stupid shit. Meanwhile, I'm scraping coins out from under the seats of my car so I can buy a can of soda at work. This week, other than gas money, I've spent a total of $5...you've gone through at least $200 on CRAP. STOP. PAY THE BILLS. GROW THE FUCK UP.

Confession #698

When I was planning our wedding, you told me I had to "stop being such a bitch" or else you'd dump me. I found out later I was clinically depressed. I kept wondering if I should break things off with you. I no longer felt love for you. I felt numb. And the first thing my councilor said was, "Don't make any major decisions now. If you are thinking of canceling your wedding or changing careers, don't do it. You'll thank me later." What's sad is that I trusted that man's judgment over mine. A man who didn't know me or you. And I really regret it sometimes.

Confession #699

I love how when you get mad, you think that depriving me of your affection will make me feel remorseful. I could care less. None of our fights last more than a few days because YOU can't handle going that long without sex. You won't apologize, but you'll start being sweet and helping around the house-and this I know is your way of getting back into my good graces so you can have a piece of ass. You think you're playing it smooth, but I've got your number. This is why I rarely have to apologize-because I know eventually you'll get tired of masturbating in the shower and you'll stop being a dick so you can get off.

When you don't get sex, you're an asshole. Which makes me want to give it to you even less. Vicious cycle.

Confession #700

If I wouldn't have had such poor self-esteem, (thanks to parents who convinced me I was fat, lazy, ugly, stupid and would probably never get married because I was such a bitch.) I wouldn't have put up with all of your shit and married you. Or at least I would have divorced you a long time ago. I stay because you make good money -- we can afford to live in a good school district. and set aside money for our child's college. Also, this way, I can stay at home/volunteer at our son's school. I could never make even half the money you do. But the biggest reason I stay is because you're such a selfish ass and poor father. Once you babysat our son for 6 hours and "forgot" to feed him! If we divorced, our son would spend most of his time alone and in front of a tv eating stale, dry cereal, IF you remembered to feed him. There's also been countless times he's gone wondering around outside and you didn't even notice because you were too busy watching tv. I don't even WANT to think about what would happen to him if you had to take care of him for an entire weekend. Plus, I would be worried sick about what sort of white trash skank would be around my son. You're so "hands off" with our son, I don't even think of him as yours, but mine. And mine only.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

#691 Your daughter is going to grow up and marry the exact same kind of man if this keeps happening in front of her. Even if he doesn't hit you, just threatening to do so is considered abuse. As your daughter watches that, she learns that is how husbands treat their wives. You know it's not a good message and I hope you can break the cycle for yourself and for her.

Maybe one day he will yell at the wrong person. Someone will a gun. Or someone with fists big enough to beat some sense into HIM.

Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

#699

How come men don't seem to get the "vicious cycle" idiots!!! yep being an ass cause i'm not in the mood really is going to help you get some! ughh, i'm so glad my ex is gone!

Anonymous said...

good round of confessions. so many of them this time sounded like what I am thinking.

Anonymous said...

#691,I second everything that 8:56 said but would like to add one thing. If he is putting so much effort and attention to making sure everyone else on the road knows how pissed he is, he is not paying enough attention to his driving. He is very likely to have a serious accident one of these days. You and your daughter should definitely stay out of his car, at the very least.

Anonymous said...

#692,693,694 and countless others:
As I read through these confessions on a daily basis, I am struck by the number of fathers who don't give their children the time of day. I wonder what has happened in our culture in recent years to precipitate this sort of behavior. Many of you cite tv and video games taking precedence over the child(ren). My husband and I have weathered our fair share of bumps in the road over the course of our marriage, but one thing is for certain, I could never question his time committment and devotion to our 6 kids. If he was a sit-on-his-ass kind of dad, we would have been over with long ago.
I am truly mystified over this phenomenon. I count myself LUCKY.

Bianca said...

Good read today. Hope just seeing these posted help those that need that extra push to change somthing actually take that step and for those that just needed to get it off thier chest I hope it felt good.

Lori said...

2:26, we are coming along a generation of fathers who weren't given the time of day by their own fathers. That is what is happening. My husband is one of those little boys. He is 38 now. He is still learning along the way. It is very sad. These fathers have to be able to admit that they don't know what to do instead of ignoring it all in the man way. My husband had to learn to interact with our children, not just as babies. His father spent no time, just money. I agree with you, if he just sat on his ass all the time, I'd be crazy (we have 5 kids), and we'd be over.

Anonymous said...

#691 Your husband sounds like my ex. I used to fear being in the car with him. He was always so aggressive, it scared me to death. Even after the accident I almost died in he refused to slow down and relax. I would cry and beg him to just take it easy and all he could ever muster was a "shut the fuck up, are you driving?!"
Asshole.

Anonymous said...

I really feel very lucky that my husband, though he works long hours, plays with our son every single night down on the floor and is silly with him, and sings him dumb songs, and makes him laugh. He shows him lots of affection, and hugs and kisses him all the time. I'm not saying this to gloat; I'm saying it because there ARE men out there who are good, loving fathers, and if you would just leave these hopeless assholes and find a way to some self esteem, you would attract men of good quality, not these scumbag losers that come a dime a dozen.

Anonymous said...

While your two weeks of DVR shows are playing and you lay in bed and eat, I am out in the living room with our daughter playing. You fix yourself your Nutrisystem meals, and to hell with the rest of us. You do laundry, but bitch about it. I wash your car, and have to drag you outside to see it. The last time we had sex was the third time this year, now that it is October. And now I find out it is because you want to get pregnant. So we are here to fill in the blanks of your life? If you spent more time playing with us as loved ones, instead of bitching because the whole world just has too many expectations of you, life would be better. What did you get married for? Filling in the blanks in your plan in life? Where do I come in, except as a figure head. You deserve neither of us, and we dont want you around if all you can do is expect us to uphold our familial duties towards you, but get shit on in return.