Tuesday, September 19, 2006

True Wife Confessions 76 Trombones

Confession #751

I love you and I am proud of you for being my hero and going to dangerous far off places to serve our country. But today I happened upon a note from an old high school sweetheart and for a few minutes I honestly wished I had married him so that I wouldn't have to be alone for months on end with 3 insane children and nobody to hold me at night.

Confession #752

how do i say thank you to a man who has given me the world? You took in my 3 kids and treat them as they were your own. They told me the other day how lucky they were to have two Daddies. You treat our son no different than them. Your parents don't have to send them money for their birthdays but they still do. They and you have never called them Step children.
THANK YOU for that. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. YOU GAVE ME HOPE THAT TRUE LOVE DOES HAPPEN. THANK YOU FOR COMPLEMENTING ME TO YOU ALL YOUR FRIENDS. YOU are my one and only love. I'm sorry for not being the wife that has dinner not cooked when you get home. I'm sorry for not the house picked all the way up. I'm sorry I'm so scattered brained at times.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I will see you again soon after your tour in Iraq is done. I promise you this i will try harder to have dinner made when you get home. But you never complain when its not done. I will have the house clean. Even though you don't complain when its not done.
When I said our vows I promise it was all true. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM AND MORE.


Confession #753

there are no words for how stupid your behavior has become. tonight you drank yourself silly, danced around the house listening to records, for hours on end; the loud music was irritating, but your obnoxious singing was over the top.

then when dinner was ready, you ended up not eating--why, because you were sick to your stomach... why you lifted the lid to my washing machine I do not know, but when I said "not in there, get to the bathroom" and you told me you’d puke in the washer if you wanted to puke in the washer--that was too much even for you. if only I could video tape you when you act this way, you wouldn't recognise yourself, just like I don't see the warm, caring,loving, passionate, brillant man I married, but a drunk raving idiot that spends his nights masterbating and spend money we don't have.

as I am typing, this you run into the kitchen and puke in the sink...

I am sad, disgusted, heartbroken and tired of this situation. I should not have to put up with it--EVER, even you say that when you're not drunk. You need help and I don't know how to help you get it. I have tried talking to you about it; when sober you say you know there's a problem and that you don't want to drink, or act the way you do. You don't remember how you treat me or the hurtful things you say on a nightly basis.

I wish I knew what to do...


Confession #754

i hate you for what you are doing to our kids...they deserve a better dad than you. you have it in you to do better, you just won't cause you're too damn selfish. I'm glad I don't have to put up with your shit anymore but my heart breaks for my daughters who will have you as their father for the rest of their life. do us a favor, disappear for good.....and if i ever get the chance, i'm swirling your toothbrush in poo : )

Confession #755

Put your fucking dishes in the dishwasher. Do not leave them on the counter. Do not leave them in the sink. Do stop to rinse them off. Stop acting like you don't notice because if you didn't, you wouldn't get all pissy and self-righteous when I remind you for the 40th time to clean up after yourself. If we did have a fucking kitchen fairy, I'd make sure she peed in your coffee for the simple fact that you assume I want to clean up after you.

I love you. You are great about a lot of other things. Work on this one. And leaving your clothes all over the freaking house, work on that too.


Confession #756

Do you really think that I enjoy kissing you or having you love up on me while you have a giant nasty wad of chewing tobacco in your mouth? It makes me sick on my stomach to even think about it. Nice example to set for the kids, too, by the way. And I cannot even believe that you tell people you aren't addicted. Please.

Confession #757

You hurt me when your grandmother died and you and your family told me that I couldn't go to the funeral. I know you were in shock and didn't know what to say to me. But, to have your family tell me that it's "family only"?!? Two kids and ten years don't make me "family"?? That just sealed the deal for them.
I hope to have many "family only" events and not invite them. Like the baptism next month. Let's see how they feel about staying home that day.

Confession #758

I'm not really physically attracted to you.

But I am not stupid enough to think that I will ever meet anyone who makes me as happy, secure, loved, and at home as you do. After all these years together, we have our private jokes and ways we know each other that are only our own. You understand me like no one else does, and you make me like the person I am. You are so smart, funny, and caring, and I can't wait for you to be the father of our children. I feel exactly the same way today as I did the day you first kissed me: so lucky.

You put Brad Pitt to shame.

Confession #759

When I ask you to change some behavior or way you act, and you get all upset and wide-eyed and incredulously say 'But honey, I do everything to try to make you happy...' No, you don't. Cause if you did, you would very simply ask me, 'hey, name one thing that I could do on a regular basis to make your life easier and happier.' But assuming that you can read my mind and getting indignant because I'm not appreciative is just a pain.in.my.ass.

Confession #760

I confess that I hate your son. He's a greedy, arrogant, sullen little shit and you know it and let him get away with murder. And now, you're bringing him into our home and you expect me to be happy about this intrusion. You are also letting him totally wreck
our plans for a vacation, a vacation I've waited so damned patiently for. Fine, bring him here, and I'll take that vacation alone or maybe I'll invite a "friend" to go along. I'm sick
and tired of hearing you say I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, yet you treat me like shit. I won't leave you ... not yet anyway, but one day when you least expect it, you'll come home and I'll be gone, and you'll never have it this good again. Maybe that son of yours, the one you keep on the pedastal can keep you company and kiss your ass, cause I won't be here.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

#754~I am one of the "toothbrush chicks"! I am totally on your side about the "big swirl" but get ready to be judged! The big mouths that attcked me last week are still making comments!

Anonymous said...

Give it a rest toothbrush chick. Gaw, get a life.

Anonymous said...

lol here we go again.....anti-toobrush defamation army fire at will!!!

Anonymous said...

toothbrush......geez i got so caught up in that post i lost all contact with my spelling abilities

Anonymous said...

Everybody run for cover. See what you started. Sheesh! Shoulda just let it go maaaaaaaaan.

Anonymous said...

Stepping away from the shitty toothbrush,757, that's ridiculous. I'm sorry to hear that you're being treated that way. I can imagine it hurts. Good for you for taking a stand.

Anonymous said...

756 - I am there with you. My husband, who never smoked before we met, suddenly has started and has been trying to hide it from me. He stinks and I hate to kiss him. And I hate that we are strapped to pay bills and he has no qualms about spending money on tobacco. I try not to let it overshadow all the other reasons I love him so much, but it does a little.

Anonymous said...

11:48
First: don't act like you've got some big following REMEMBER most wives strongly disapproved of what you did.
Second: do you get how pathetic you are for thinking you're cool for being a "toothbrush chick"? What a loser you are. Don't encourage woman to stoop down to your level. I concur with 12:12 -- get a life!

Anonymous said...

it's sad that so many women seem to hate their step children so much. I can't imagine these women have children of their own. I'd hate to think if, God forbid, I ever get divorced, my children could end up with a step mom like I've read about on here.

love between a parent and child is like no other- not even the love you have for your spouse.

Anonymous said...

Here,here 1:59. Totally agree on that point. Any woman who thinks she's supposed to come between ANY half-decent parent and their own flesh and blood should not be permitted to marry into a family with children to begin with. At least not until they are actual mothers themselves. It's a sad shame that children, no matter how unruly or misguided, should have to contend for their father's love with such selfish women like I've been reading about here. No doubt they aren't mothers themselves, or they would actually understand what it means to have a child and the responsibilities that go along with that. #760, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to marry a man who already has a child. That child should always be priority #1, no matter who he ends up with. If he didn't put his children first,he'd probably be a scumbag to begin with. You should applaud him for stepping up to the plate and acting like a man should. Instead you come across like a whiny child who doesn't get their way ...sound familiar?

Anonymous said...

First of all, let me just say I agree that kids should "come first". I am not divorced so I don't deal with blended family issues personally, but I have two thoughts:

1) I think in some of these women's complaints, there is a problem with the kid not being disciplined properly bit the biological parent or parents. And I think many parents, especially in a divorce situation, do not discipline well, or things are inconsistent. This makes for a miserable living situation for everyone.

2) I think ideally *everyone* has their needs met, so it's not a matter of who comes first. And a solid relationship between the adults in a family is the foundation of a successful family. It's all intertwined.

I just think it's not quite so simple and black and white that the kids should always come first. Does anyone get what I mean or is this totally incoherent...

Anonymous said...

2:32, I get what you're saying, but I honestly do believe when you make the decision to become a parent, the child should come first. You lose your right to be selfish-kwim?

That said, we don't know all the details of 760's life, but if there are real disciplinary issues she should discuss them with her DH in a mature manner. Not in front of the child.
If the boy is going to be living with them, it's perfectly reasonable for her to have a say in house rules for the kid. I believe children thrive on love and structure.
But the tone of her post just seems jealous and childish. I mean, she says she'g going to leave her husband b/c she hates his son...

Anonymous said...

Here Here 1:53. My sentiments exactly. She just doesn't get it. "The big mouths" that attacked her all had extremely valid points but no matter what, to herself, she was justified. She doesn't yet see how dispicable her behavior was. I say we ignore her. And I agree one of the comments from last week. Maybe her husband SHOULD make her a big spinach salad, complete with e-coli.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, that should read, "I agree WITH one of the comments from last week."

Anonymous said...

So pathetic...now you want the lady to die from e-coli??? OMG! Just leave her alone. She had her own reasons to do what she did. It may not be right in your eyes, but to her it is! So leave her alone. STOP JUDGING HER ALREADY!

Anonymous said...

Leave her alone? She's the one who keeps putting herself out there. And who said they wanted her to die? She admits to exposing her husband to the bacteria in her shit. Sooooo maybe her husband should expose her. Barking up the wrong tree lady. She's the one who won't let it die. And you are pathetic for sticking up for her behavior.

Anonymous said...

4:05, I believe that most of us don't see how this could be right in anybody's eyes. It's disgusting and absolutely childish. And you need to check on how it sound for you defend her and her actions. Abusive actions I might add.

Anonymous said...

Big spinach salad coming right up! With dingleberries on top and a big shitty toothbrush to use as a fork.

Anonymous said...

**Please kindly refrain from feeding the troll**
Thank you

Anonymous said...

Which one? Spinach salad or toothbrush chick?

Anonymous said...

if you cannot handle being second place at least some of the time, you should not marry someone who has children, no matter how little time they initially spend with the parent you're marrying. things change. no custody arrangements are set in stone. and kids always, always come first, unless that kid's parents are second-rate.

Anonymous said...

I disagree that children should come first. The husband should put the wife first, and the wife should put her husband first. Children are a result of a couple's love and commitment to each other. A child will benefit from seeing the support the parents give each other.

Don't get me wrong. If one parent is abusing a child in any way - physically, verbally or emotionally - the other parent needs to put a stop to it even if it means leaving or involving the law. But too many people put their children first to the exclusion of all others, including the person they vowed to love, honor and cherish.

I see it all too often where children are "loved" so much that they can do no wrong. They are not required to have any kind of accountability for their actions, they're not disciplined because a parent is afraid the child will feel "unloved". These little monsters are set loose in a society that I have to live in! How much happier would the CHILD be with some boundaries and restrictions. It must be frightening to be a child and realize you're the one in control.

-DS

Anonymous said...

#753 - thanks for helping me. I am separated from a drunk asshole who dips tobacco and when I am alone and feeling sad, I'll also remember I'm not putting up with drunken bullshit behavior and slamming doors.
The whole stepchild thing is just HARD and there is no black and white. My husband is a Disney Dad and uses money to get rid of his guilt for letting alcohol tear apart their family.

Anonymous said...

Ya Know what? I was one of the toothbrush chick's biggest critics last week but I was prepared to let today's toothbrush comment go. How pathetic is she that she needs to bring it all back up? You would think last week was the first time she ever got attention for anything in her whole life. Maybe it was. I personally would rather blend than to be ridiculed, but to each her own.

Dawn said...

Dear Anon who posted the confession..I deleted it from comments and placed it in Chapter 83. Every confession deserves it's full number glory....

Oh and I got an email yesterday that accused me of writing all the confessions. Which I refuted. I do throw in some of my own, you can be sure, but not all of them are mine....

Anonymous said...

okay, i posted the toothbrush comment today not knowing the whole drama surrounding it....for the record i would never do it, i just HATE this man for what he did to me and how he treats our kids and I needed a passive aggressive way to vent about it since i cant vent in real life in a real aggressive way b/c i have my kids to think about I have to always be cordial and civil even though he never sees them or pays for them because I promised myself that I would do that for my kids, although, in truth, i could really care less how sick he got because he's scum

Anonymous said...

Good for you 11:39. Kill him with kindness. Your kids will thank you for it later. They will know the truth someday. I can say that I figured out who was there and who took care of me. It took till I was an adult, but still my mom was the one. Like I said, your kids will be able to reflect someday and then they will figure it out.

j said...

I think Anon is obcessed
anyway
2 thumbs up for ur hubby giving it up focountry
he has my totla respect
jsull28fl@yaho

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of anon's here dude. Which one?

Anonymous said...

J-spellcheck.

Anonymous said...

The thing about toothbrush and toilets is that it can make your husband very ill. He may talk shit but you're risking his health. If you are doing this it is to the point you should leave or get therapy. If he'semotionally abusive you two abusing one another doesn't solve anything.

And you say you hate to kiss him but why are you kissing him at all if it's so bad. You're actually getting the germs that get on the toothbrush too. This is just odd to me and I believe there's a sexual depravity to it, that's why many are drawn to this kind of thing and I think people start getting off on this kind of relationship.

#754 I feel the same way yet I'm less sympathetic. If a man is hurting the children something needs to be done. It's just something that shouldn't be done. When anyone get to the point of hurting their spouse the marriage is ending.

And for you toothbrush chicks you can give your husbands (the men you love?) mouth ulcers, hepatitis A (which you may also contract as it's contagious), streptococcus, staphylococcus, E. coli and shigella bacteria. Is it worth it? We all need to think about our actions

Anonymous said...

752, I'm this makes me happy to hear and don't worry about being scattered brained and all those things, and I hope your happiness continues. And I hope your hubby and all our boys come home soon.