Tuesday, August 08, 2006

True Wife Confession 41 Steps

Confession #401

There are a couple of reasons why I won't make doctor
or dentist appointments for you, and not caring about
your health and well being is not one of them. Reason
1: you are a grown-up, you know your own schedule, and
you know how to dial a phone. Reason 2: you never show
up when I make appointments for you.

Confession #402

You adore me and I love you. You treat me better than any man ever has. You do things many men won't. People envy me for being married to you. You will be the best father my children could have. But I still think about my ex every single day. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to not wait for him to give me another chance, but that means I would've never met you. I was just thinking about him when you fucked me, and that wasn't the first time. I'm sorry. I don't think I deserve you.

Confession #403

I hate how you make me feel like I am insane or mental when I have a bad day- and I am grumpy- You tell me I am "not healthy" when I complain to you and I should take a xananx to calm myself-I hate that about you! I hate that you make me feel like I am a bad person for having a stress- filled day- when I stay home with the kids- and I don't have the guts to tell you a lot of the time that you are a HUGE part of it! From having to sweep the floor first thing in the morning because you left mud or whatever all over it - to you calling me and bitching, to you having me make phone calls for you-get over yourself!!- I am not crazy- and if I am on my way it's you, your family, my family, and the kids that I cannot make happy, and the bullshit you all serve to me on a hourly basis that MAKES me act this way!!!! Staying at home with the kids is not an opportunity for me to be everyone's go to girl!!-Screw you all!! DO IT YOURSELVES!!!!

Confession #404

I have finally realized that there is a worse fate than being "single". Before I married you, I had high moral character and dreams for my life. I was in college, had perfect credit, and looked fantastic. Eighteen years with you has left me 100 pounds overweight, bankrupt, uneducated, and tired. I have had to put up with your crazy family, you alcoholism, your lies, your issues, for far too long. I should have left you after I had to deal with your DWI. I should have left you after I found out that you like gay porn. I should have left you when I found out you smoke weed and binge drink the minute I leave the house. The reason I have stayed is because of those precious times that you are kind and good to me. You know, when you act they way you did when I met you. That isn't enough anymore. The last straw is when you told your Mother she could live with us without asking me. I can't stand to be in the house with both of you. I'm leaving you as soon as I can.

Confession #405

Babe? I gotta say it. I'm attracted to your shape, and your love, and your kindness, and the tenderness you show our son, and to me, on an all-the-time basis; but -- oh, my GOD. The toxicity of your breath. It squelches any desire I feel when I come within several inches of you. Do something -- ANYTHING -- about it. Please. I want to sexxx you up, boy, but that breath has GOT. TO. GO. first.

Confession #406

I swear I love you more than anything, but I'm not willing to give her up.
At least not yet. I'm sorry. I'll just keep hiding it and hopefully I'll
never hurt you with the truth.

Confession #407

When we fight or you make me feel bad about myself, I secretly think about the married man I slept with for two years before I married you. He wouldn't leave his wife and kids (though he said in the beginning that he would), but we've messaged each other recently and he still thinks of me as 'the one that got away' and still loves me. I wish you knew that someone else wants me so you'd treat me better.

Confession #408

Without your knowledge, I have left a request, with our children's appointed legal Guardian, that if I should die our children are NEVER EVER to be left alone with your father. Not even for a trip to the Dairy Queen. He is an evil, manipulative pig and that time he mocked our son and made him sob I wanted to rip the glue-on hair off his head and stuff it up his ass. I know you love him because "he is your Dad", but he has never treated you well. A son with qualities like yours deserves a wonderful father--a father like you.

Confession #409

I used to enjoy giving head. You've ruined it for me. You take so goddamned long to finish that I get pains in my jaw and end up with a headache. Most guys get off that way in no time. And just so you know, when I want sex over and done with, I won't give you head...and I'll play with your ears because I know that's your 'hot spot'. I don't do it to satisfy YOU-I do it so you'll finish and I can get some sleep.

Confession #410

Why bother with pretending you're about to get up and get the baby at 2am? Why put up the facade? You know you're only going to sit on your side of the bed and heave and sigh until I give in and get up instead. Why go through this?

If I've been up multiple times with our daughter during the night, and then get up for the day at an ungodly hour, DO NOT come downstairs when it's time for you to get up and be cranky. DO NOT yawn in my face or tell me how exhausted you are...how crappy your sleep was. You got sleep. I, on the other hand, did not. DO NOT tell me how you couldn't fall back to sleep after her crying woke you-if you can't get back to sleep, then YOU get up with her. I can get back to sleep no problem. Since you can't, perhaps you should take her on during the night more often.


I'll never tell said...

I have seen a few confessions about a husbands bad breath.....TELL HIM! I tell mine all the time. You would be surprised at how many times they just don't realize it until you tell them. I know my husband appreciates when I tell him.

Anonymous said...

I agree with lori...tell him! My hubby gets the worst breath from food that's even slightly spicy, but he'll gladly fix it for me if it means we get to cuddle up closer to each other. For him, the best fix isn't just brushing his teeth or using mouthwash (and yes, he does do this regularly). We've found that coke or chocolate helps remove the stink.

Anonymous said...

409-I feel your pain. Sometimes it feels like my jaw is going to fall off.

Anonymous said...

Dear #404-Please do leave him. And get back to yourself. This is the only chance in life we've got. Don't blow it on that guy. And his mother.... *shudder*

Anonymous said...

#404...If he likes gay porn and is still tying to stay in a relationship w/a woman (you), I have a feeling that that's why he drinks and smokes heavily -- to stay numb and in denial. Do yourself a favor and LEAVE THIS GUY. You deserve a better life.

Anonymous said...

#405, you are so writing about my husband too! I swear my old dog (may he r.i.p.) had better breath than him and he licked his own ass! (the dog that is)(although if my d.h. could he probably would too)
BTW, telling him hasn't worked for me...

Jaelithe said...

#410: Next time he sits on the side of the bed sighing, I recommend that you kick him. The fall to the floor should help him wake up enough to go get the baby.

Anonymous said...

#410--Thankfully my little one is now sleeping through the night, but I sure feel your pain!!!! We worked out a system where on weekends he got up with the babe and I could sleep. Sometimes it took me punching his arm to get his attention to do it though.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Dawn for just letting this site flow. It is cool and will be successful.

Anonymous said...


Cindylou said...

In the name of bad breath I must say that this can be a sign of gum infection, your hubby may need an antibiotic to clear it up. I went through this with my hubby he had to have pills and special mouthwash, and Now? sweet.......