Friday, August 18, 2006

True Wife Confessions 50 Ways to Leave your Luv-ah

Confession #491

To my ex mother-in-law:

Your precious first-born son, the one you think is so perfect, the one you think is the most wonderful being on the planet?
He's actually the most selfish, inconsiderate, immature person I have ever met in my life.
You're part of the reason we split up. YOU raised him to be that way.
Maybe you aren't such a great mom after all.

Confession #492

I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You have put up with so much, and you have been such a rock for me. I don't say it enough, and you probably need to hear it more, but without you, I would never have made it this far. You are a special man, and a great dad, and I thank you for standing by us, when you could easily have walked away. I have always said your worst quality was your ridiculously poor memory, but on second thought, it is probably what has kept us together for so long!

Confession #493

Honey, I really truly don't mind your little porn habit. Sometimes you find stuff that's really hot, and on the rare occasion when all the stars align and The Boy goes to sleep early, it's fun to watch it together. But why, by all that's holy, do you have to set your stupid filesharing programs looking for the stuff every single night? Don't you know I have insomnia? I can't always go back to sleep after The Boy nurses, so I get up to read/update my blog and just have some alone time at the computer without someone hitting me with Duplos or shoving Dr. Seuss books into my spine. I Do Not Want to read my email at less than dial-up speeds because you are downloading five thousand little clips from some obscure butt-fucking video, okay? Stop. It. Download the crap during the freakin' day while you are at work. Chances are I won't have any time at all then to be on the computer anyway, because I'll be too busy cooking, potty training, doing laundry, cleaning the damn house, and removing the fucking books from my spine to even sit down. Give me a freakin' break, already.

Confession #494

I hate your computers. I don't believe or even care that they are part of your job anymore. Honey, you sell computers. You install software. You don't write code, so why, why, why do you need the latest and greatest for your job? I hate that you have to have dual core whatever chips, and whatever-the-fuck front side bus speeds, and more RAM than God in the desktop. I hate that you have to have a really expensive laptop every couple of years. I really, really fucking hate from the bottom of my heart that the spiffy end all and be all of laptops that you absolutely HAD to have last year for your birthday, the one that they had on sale at the day after Thanksgiving sale, the one that necessitated my getting up at two a-freakin'-m and going to stand in the long ass line at the local electronics store with our baby wrapped up in the sling and nursing while I stood in line freezing my ass off for about four freakin' hours, was just not good enough and you traded it in less than six months later. Buy your own fucking laptop next year. Better yet, do without.

Oh yeah, and I hate talking about them too. I don't know what all that crap means, and I really don't care. Just let me take care of our child in peace. Talk to me about how things went at work, or world events, or our baby, or anything that's in English.

Confession #495

You are the nicest guy I ever went out with. I knew I got lucky. Your accomodating nature was such a nice change of pace. The fact that I knew I could always rely on you was one of the biggest things that attracted me to you. That, and your bizarre sense of humor that was so scarily like my own. You had confidence then, yet for some reason after three years of marriage, it's gone. Your backbone has softened, you automatically go into defense mode when I ask you a question, and you don't do anything unless I ask you to do it. You hug me and kiss me and tell me you love me everyday, and I know you mean it more than I could possibly know. I love you too, but I want that guy back, the guy I fell in love with. I adored him. I don't know where he went, but I miss him... I miss you...

Confession #496

You saved me. I was on a self-destructive path. You recognized that and were willing to reach out to me. Not only did that start our relationship, but it put an end to what would have proven to be my misery. Maybe you didn't so much save me as help me find the strength to save myself, holding your hand along the way. You were the first person I ever told. When I told you my awful truth, you didn't run. You held me. You let me cry. You wanted to protect me, but you recognized that I needed the strength to protect myself. It was only through your love that I found that strength. I'm terrified to think about what my life would be like if we weren'’t together. I am in awe of you. I am so very thankful for you. I love you.

Confession #497

Just because I work in sales and you work at a job that holds you in one location from 8-5 does not mean that I am your personal errand girl. I AM WORKING!!! Yes, I am in the car. Yes, I drive all over town. Yes, I work out of the house. None of those things mean that I have time to run to the bank for you, run to the post office for you, run to the dry cleaner for you, and most of all, run through the drive thru for you cause you are 'really busy and don't have time to take lunch'!!! You seem to think that I have time to drop everything and do your bidding because I am in the car. Just so you know, I only run those errands for you because I would rather go out of my way than have to listen to you whine when I get home. And you wonder why I am mysteriously NEVER available lately when you call in the middle of the day. Oh, and the text message requests to run errands? Fuck you. No, I didn't forget my phone at home three days straight last week. I just didn't want to run around for you

Confession #498

I know you read true wife confessions. I know that you are looking for mine.

Confession #499

Sometimes I wake up in the night to watch you sleep, and I can'’t breathe because I love you so much. I wish I could tell you, but you don't trust the words, so I know it would only unsettle you to hear me say it. So I keep the house as clean as I can, spend hours cooking your meals, keep your sock drawer full of folded socks and love your child as much as I love my own. I hope it shows half of how much I love you, because I hear your love me when you say "thank you"” so often. You'’re wonderful!

Confession #500

I don't know if I can forgive you for letting me down when our son was born. You wouldn't read any books with me. You refused to go to a Bradley or Lamaze class with me, and you barely paid attention to the hospital based class we did go to. At least, if you did pay attention it didn't show. You obviously didn't learn anything from it. You refused to let me hire a doula because we didn't need it. But then you didn't step up to the plate and deliver. Because when the fucking asshole of an on-call obstetrician pushed a million fucking interventions at me that you knew damned well I didn't want and probably didn't need, you didn't stand up for me. Women in labor are vulnerable. I needed you there to protect me, not to play poker with our friend that stopped by. Not to sleep while I was in the tub trying to deal with the back labor. A back rub would have been nice. Not to eat pizza with your brother in front of me while the damned hospital nurses wouldn't let me eat anything despite the fact that I went without solid food for almost two fucking days. Not to play fucking video games on your GameBoy. I'd like to shove that GameBoy up your ass, you know. When it predictably ended up in a cesarean section for failure to progress, I was in tears and I felt like a fucking failure. I feel like I was raped and everyone stood around watching and no-one called the cops. Including you.

35 comments:

mex said...

Dawn.

Congrats on 50 strings of confessions. They make me want to: cry, laff, nod my head, love my hubby, hate my hubby; and, all in the span of minutes reading these; ifyougetwhati'msaying here.

mex

Anonymous said...

I wrote the first confession about my ex-mother in law.
I forgot to mention how sick and tired I am of her "I know more about raising kids than anyone, especially you!" attitude about my son. Shut up. You've been wrong plenty of times, and you have some of the most fucked up kids I've ever seen. Sometimes you can be a real bitch.

Thanks, Dawn. I needed that.

Anonymous said...

All of you wives here are HORRIBLE! Thank you for completely reuining the union of marriage obviously it is hardwork DUH! But you are all so selfish, why did you get married in the first place?! You are only making yourself unhappy and feeding your childrens minds with horrible ideals of partnerships.

Anonymous said...

12:54 are you married? Doesn't sound like it to me. Why are we horrible...because we are brave enough to say what most people only think. Piss off!

Anonymous said...

494, I hear you. he and I both work in the tech field and he seems to think that I want to talk about it all the time and seems to need the latest and greatest everything. It is really annoying and really expensive.

On another note, 12:54 get off your high horse. You obviously did not read the posts very carefully becuase if you did you would notice that along with the complaining there are also quite a few compliments for the spouses.

Anonymous said...

Also, most of the bitchy confessions are things we say HERE...we aren't saying these things to our husbands! That's the point of this website, for us to get the things off our chests so we don't explode and kill our husbands!
It's also so we can read other confessions and see we aren't alone, and aren't crazy because something our husbands do annoys us.

Mrs. P said...

#495
I know how you feel. It is a strange feeling to miss the person who is sitting beside you on the couch and sleeping next to you. My husband is the same way - I love him and I know he loves me but we are both different people than when we got married 6 years ago. And sometimes I miss who he was and who I was. Do what it takes to find each other again. I hope you can find a way to reconnect.

Anonymous said...

exaaactly, ditto anon 1:30! Was just gonna say the exact same thing. You go girl!

Anonymous said...

12:46 - You sound like an ass. Go back from whence you came. In case you havent figured it out, this site is called TRUE WIFE CONFESSIONS. What the hell did you think you were going to find when you got here? Idiot.

Anonymous said...

I think you meant 12:54 YOU ARE AN ASS!

Lori said...

Happy 50th Dawn! Keep em Comin'.

D said...

Yay, Dawn! Thanks for all the free therapy!

12:54 is ruining spelling and punctuation for the rest of us...

Love the blog-LOVE IT!!

Anonymous said...

#500, I am so sorry you had such a terrible labor and delivery experience . . . You didn't fail. The medical system failed you.

People are trained by society their whole lives to trust the authority of doctors. And men who are not doctors are trained their whole lives to believe that pregnancy, childbirth, and babies are something beyond their ability to comprehend. Maybe your husband felt uncomfortable and overwhelmed thinking about anything related to childbirth, and maybe he didn't feel it was appropriate for him put up a fight when faced with the authority of the doctor.

This doesn't excuse his failure to support and protect you, of course.

Cindy said...

500 !! 500 things that are out there, and even they weren't said to the hubby they have been said, which leaves us with room for the happy. I love my pressure cooker, but if the valve is clogged the fucking thing could kill me, here's to the valve.

Lori said...

I'll drink to that! Here's to unclogging the valves! (As I light, drop, and slam that flaming Dr. Pepper.)

Anonymous said...

#495--I feel the same way. I want the guy back who I fell in love with. Not someone who has been hardened by the military and isn't the same.

#500--Sorry your husband was such an ass with such a life changing event.

Anonymous said...

Yay Dawn! Happy 50th, thank you for giving this space as a gift to those of us who need a safe place to say things we probably won't talk to anyone else about.
This blog is wonderful - don't change a thing!

Anonymous said...

500 - Why did you have a child with this man in the first place?

Anonymous said...

12:54 sounds like a real moron. Just b/c 2:01 had a typo doesnt mean they were wrong in their comments.

E. said...

#500, I am so sorry your husband was not there for you during your labor. How horrible. To all pregnant women: get a doula! Even if your husband is a great guy, 1. you never know how he'll do during labor if he's never experienced it, and 2. he's still not a professional trained to provide labor support.

12:54, did you even read the confessions for this post?

Suebob said...

Dawn, this blog is as cool as you. By which I mean extremely very wonderfully cool.

Anonymous said...

Happy 50th Dawn,
Thank you for such an awesome site.

Anonymous said...

Oh #500, I'm so sorry. I hope one day your husband will realize exactly what he missed by not participating in your child's birth.

Anonymous said...

6:43 p.m. How would she know how we would act during labor before she married him? My husband was pretty darn good while I was in labor (although next time I'm going to focus more on me), and that was just dumb luck. And I still haven't forgiven him for his cut on my housekeeping the day we brought our baby home. But that's another rant...

6:43 said...

i would be SHOCKED to hear that #500's husband was a charming, giving, thoughtful husband that put her first - until of course he knocked her up and she wanted to attend lamaze classes and have her hand held during birth. if so, i take it back.

i'm sure he's changing that baby's diapers right this very second as she's getting a massage and manicure.

Anonymous said...

Why DON'T you tell your husbands these things? Do it! Keeping it quiet will only make it worse. Be honest with them and yourself. Stand up for yourself and your needs. You, your marriage, and your kids view of what marriage should be will be better for it.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

To all of you, I am a new husband. (married in Feb). I love my wife and I will work so hard to never become like the men you hate (and be like the men you obviously love). Keep writing, it reminds me of how easily the world can change and how important it is to always put in that extra effort! Oh, and don't be afraid to rock the boat a little, perhaps sharing some of this with the men may (in the long run) help!

Jsygurl said...

Is it time for a sister site, for daughter-in-law, or ex-daughter in law confessions? I have several times sat down and writen huge long angry letters to my MIL that for the sake of my marraige I never sent. It sure made me feel better though!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 4:08, you sound like a real keeper. thanks for the input.

Anonymous said...

There is a truemilconfessions site.

The url is truemilconfessions.blogspot.com

and you can send your confessions to"

truemilconfessions@yahoo.com.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I wrote #500. Thanks for all the supportive comments. To the person who wondered why I had a child with this person? Because he's wonderful. Yeah, he got freaked out by seeing me in pain, and he didn't support me, and we had a horrible experience, but you know what? He learned. And after I posted my bitchy angry post on here, I went and talked to him about it in a constructive manner. Something that I wouldn't have been able to manage without blowing off some steam first. Now we're trying to have a second child, and he's already helping me research midwives and doulas. And yes, he's changed a LOT of diapers, and it was only a couple of weeks ago that he took the baby and went away while I had a fabulous pedicure and massage.

Andrea said...

Yay 500! I love happy endings.

Andrea said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
the one who asked why said...

That's truly wonderful 500 - it's great to hear your husband was just freaked and not a total jerk, and even more wonderful to hear you talked to him.

I hope (wish) there are more women on here like you!

Good luck with your growing family!!!

Anonymous said...

#493, small tech tip, those file sharing programs can be setup so they run slower at night (when you're up) and faster during the day.

I suggest you just go ahead and configure it yourself, he'll never know.