Thursday, August 03, 2006

True Wife Confession 37 - Normal human body temperature in Celcius

Confession #361

I know you don't want me to see the man we swapped with because his wife is out of town and this is suppose to be a couples thing, but if he calls I'm seeing him. I love you more than I've ever loved any man but I can't get him off of my mind.

Confession #362

I walked away.... I believed I had valid reasons, just like I believed that we would end up together forever. I could never have imagined that you would die less than a year later. And now after 10 years without you, I still look around and sob when I can't find you.

Confession #363

You know, flowers are still acceptable to give to your wife. I'm not asking for dozens of red roses, but you'd be amazed at the power of a simple thoughtful gesture like this. It would make me so very happy, but you say it is a waste of money.

Confession #364

I make up complaints about you when I'm with my
friends. They don't believe me if I talk about
how well we really get along or how wonderful you
really are to me. I don't want to lose my
friends, so I make up complaints, and the sad
part is that they still wonder how they can get
their husbands to act the way you do. I'm sorry
and I love you.

Confession #365

I am not married. But you are. She's gone now. Halfway around the world. My biggest fear's are that I will never be what she once was to you: Youre wife-(second time around will be old news); youre first born. Im scared to ask you when you will legally be divorced because i fear that you will tell me that she is coming back, with the baby, and we will be over. So i will let these questioning thoughts eat away at me. They hurt a lot less than the thought of being without you.

Confession #366

I started smoking again, after 5 fucking years, because of you, you stupid asshole. Right now, it's only in need of some serious emergency soothing. Hope it just stays like that, or until the pack runs out. I had to go drive to the park & ride late at night just to smoke one and stare at the moon. To think about the guy who I stopped seeing when I met you, stupidly. Whose number is still in my cell. The only one who knew just how to touch me,the one I think about every time i watch "the notebook", the one you should 've taken notes from. G-d, I'm such a shmuck for giving that up for you...

Confession #367

Every morning when I wake up, I think of him. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night. Then I get angry with myself and try to focus on you. You deserve a wife who wants to be with you. I want to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have not been unfaitful with my body, but my mind is somewhere else every day.

Confession #368

I wanted to cry when I found out you felt as though you disappointed me. Times were tough and I'm so glad we pulled through, but I know now I let you down when you needed me most. I was so scared. I thought I was worried about you, but there were times when I was more worried about myself-what would it mean to ME if you changed. We both have our problems, but you are fabulous. What we have together is better than I ever dared to hope for. You've done so much for me, but I let you down. For that I am so ashamed. I will never be able to apologize enough. Sometimes I think I really don't deserve you.

Confession #369

I lied at the doctors office the other day.....again. "will he be here to take you home after the treatment?" um, no he is out of town. when they took me back to the room some materials where there about resources for the single parent. they know i lie about where you are. and when you call during and i try to be brave and say i feel ok after i have puked a few times, and you know i feel bad and you say "i don't know what but i am going to do something nice for you tonight" and i get so happy with those words, and i am pathetic because you did not do anything nice. and when the treatment was done, the nurse said, "honey, please make sure there is someone here next week to give you a ride home"

Confession #370

When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

# 362

Heartwrenching....makes me think twice about what it would REALLY be like to lose my husband!

Anonymous said...

#366...I so feel you! I started smoking again to calm my nerves for this asshole! And I also go sit and smoke and think about the guy that I left for my husband. I also cry and think about him when I watch the "Notebook". I wish my "Noah" was not married now with a baby on the way. Cuz if he wasn't, I'd go back to check on him and rekindle what I threw away like a fool.

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you #367. I try and try to put my husband first. To remember all the good things. But all day long I think of him. I dream of him at night, and cant wait until I can sleep again so we can be together.

Denise said...

#369...

Why the hell isn't he going with you? Jackass. (him NOT you)

Anonymous said...

#369, is there anyone who can be there with you? You shouldn't have to go through that alone, and if he's being a jerk, ask a friend or relative to go with you. is it that he's afraid to see you in pain and he's in denial? Please try and get someone to step in and help out.

Anonymous said...

#362 I cannot imagine your pain. It sounds like you feel guilty. Have you thought of letting go? There's no way you could have known and you deserve happiness.

Anonymous said...

367...me to

369...sorry. what a jerk

Anonymous said...

#366...I thought I started smoking again because of someone else too...but I came to realize that no one can make me do anything except ME. No one can make me sad/happy/exhilarated except ME. When I finally came to realize that I was just a miserable sod, I understood why my husband didn't want to be around me. I changed for me and things got better. If they hadn't I would've left and gotten on with my life.

Anonymous said...

I'm not trying to be rude to #361, but I think that's the biggest reason married couples shouldn't get into swinging. I've never heard of one married swinging couple this hasn't happened to.

goodenoughmommy said...

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so please, feel very very flattered. I liked this so much that I thought a site geared to moms might be in order.

http://truemomconfessions.blogspot.com/

Thank you for a wonderful place to share.

Anonymous said...

#362

My heart broke when I read that. BUt from your pain I see how much I love my husband. I'm so sorry.

kevin said...

#366 and the like-minded responders:

Until you bitches start taking some responsibility for your own actions, you will never elevate beyond the frustrated misery that is your current life. No man makes you smoke. Your lack of will power that keeps you from putting down the cigarettes is probably the same culprit that keeps you from securing and maintaining your marriage. If the struggles of reality give you reason to wonder how to keep your marriage together and cause you to become orally fixated, might I suggest fellatio?

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhh- good idea Kevin! All women's problems can be solved if we just get a big dick shoved down our throats, which by the way, big dicks are few and far between. It's mostly small, pathetic dicks like yours that we are forced to endure.

Anonymous said...

#361 here. You are not being rude, you are telling the truth. And I don't think we're going to do that again. Not worth it. I don't like my thoughts being occupied by another man. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

Anonymous said...

Kevin...your mama's a Bitch! Who in the hell are you to call someone a bitch. First of all dickhead...why are you even on this site? When you have a fucking clue what it's like to deal with a man that acts like an asshole "sometimes" (other then yourself) let me know if you need a cigarette. I have a pack hidden in my sock drawer. You prick!

Anonymous said...

Kevin, you spermburping twat! Take a flying leap at a doughnut rolling uphill! You don't even realize how your post just shows you to be insecure and threatened by the truth. Fact of the matter is that if we didn't have to deal with completely clueless jackasses like you maybe there wouldn't be a need for a forum like this. And I bet you are FUGLY and can't get even the horniest dog to give you the time of day!

Anonymous said...

Hi, this is #366: I just want to say thank you for all the support and positive feedback. Sometimes we need to stay where we are in our relationships and quietly smoke and bear it if even on a short,temporary basis. I would also like to especially thank you for pretty much summing up what pencil-dick, er, I mean Kevin needs to hear. What the hell he's doing here in the first place is beyond me, but either way comes across as pathetic. What sad, little Kevin doesn't realize is that the reason his own wife smokes again is because a)she's probably thinking about the guy SHE left (which would be the part about trying to maintain her marriage,Kev)and
b)she's "maintaining some willpower" to keep from taking an axe to your thick skull while you're sleeping. Shmuck. Oh yeah and by the way, "Kev", you better pray he isn't calling her every once in a while to check in on her and see if she's still as unhappy as he thinks she is. Like mine does. Sleep tight.

Anonymous said...

#367. I am a man but there is no website like this for us husbands. I am going through the exact same thing as you. I feel like a jerk. I love my wife and I try to put her first, but yes, right now she is the 1st thing in my mind and last. We have not done anything and won't, but I hate myself for not being there 100% for my wife...