Thursday, August 10, 2006

True Wife Confession 43 distinct types of cheese

Confession #431

I love you. I love your mother, your sister & your awesome aunt & uncle from California. The reason why I don't want a baby shower, is because your other relatives that do live in the same town are two-faced-ass-holes. You think I don't know what they say about me? The fact that they have a problem that I'm black & white is a big reason why I don't want them near our son after he's born. Its the same bull-shit I had to put up with my racist grandparents.

Confession #432

We are going to be married soon, which I am ridiculously excited about
because you are the most wonderful man I could possibly ask for.
However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day
you'll realize you could do better. When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy. I hate that I
can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex, and that I
can't let you touch or kiss my stomach like you want to. You tell me
all the time how much you love my body and my spirit, and maybe
eventually I'll believe it. But for now, I'll keep sobbing on the inside when we
watch things like Miss Universe and when we go ride rollercoasters and
my fat ass won't fit and I have to get out in front of everyone. Thank
you for not riding the rollercoaster without me.

Confession #433

i love my husband but i hate his job and i can't tell him that i his job. i know he's doing it for us and the country, but i can't handle the nights laying awake alone in our bed. Thinking about our kids wondering if i will have to raise our kids alone and telling them why their dad can't be with them anymore

Confession #434

I left my exhusband's telephone number on a wall, of a public restroom.

I wonder how many calls he got?

Confession #435

Do you remember the time you pulled my hair and said I was worthless? (July 1992) Well, I put that stinky onion under your car seat. Remember how you couldn't figure out where the stink was coming from???? You found the the onion and thought it fell out of the grocery bag. NOPE!! I put it there.

Confession #436

I secretly believe that you have never truly loved me but stay with me because of 1) the fact that I earn a steadier income than you, and 2) the kids. I think now that maybe I should have left you when you had that online affair. By your own admission, it was only because the other woman got cold feet that you never met and had real sex. Not that what I read in your e-mails to each other wasn't a reasonable enough facsimile. I hate you for introducing so much doubt about myself into my life. You are narcissistic, lazy, conceited, and arrogant. You criticize me for doing things you do yourself. You're bossy. I can't count on you to do anything you say you'll do. In order to be with you, I hurt a good and decent man, even if I wasn't in love with him. I think I've been paid back any pain I caused. If it wasn't for our children, I'd say it was a complete disaster and a mistake. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be with you. You really don't deserve me.

Confession #437

You took me out for my "Big Birthday Dinner" and got mad that I got seated without you. You made me cry on my birthday. Then to cap off the night, you asked me to marry you. Yeah, that really was a stunned silence. Fuck you and your very pretty ring. You are an alcoholic prick who takes your frustrations out on the people around you. Go ahead, ask me when we're going to have another baby. Stall your family on when we're going to set the date. I know the answer, do you?
The worst part of it is, I could have loved you.

Confession #438

Honey....I am truly sorry....Your feet really,really........Stink!!

Confession #439

i don't want to have kids with you. THERE! i've said it. i wish that i could get my tubes tied just so i don't have the option to have them with YOU. you are immature and irresponsible and i know that you would be a terrible dad.
you are an alcoholic. you drink 12 beer a day and then pass out on our couch and wonder why i work three jobs just to get away from you.

i hate your family. i always have, always will.

your sister is an adult. why must we spend EVERY birthday with her? she is 28 now...time to move on and find her OWN life.

i hate your entire family: from your over bearing parents to your selfish and narcissistic sister to your immature brother and his wife. you all are self-absorbed and selfish jerks.

Confession #440

I wish you could understand how unhappy I am. I am
only staying with you because I can't support myself
and our children alone. I tell you I'm unhappy, you
promise to change, you never do. I'm not exactly
seeking someone to leave you for at the moment, but I
find myself "forgetting" my to wear my wedding ring
when I go out. Secretly hoping for a nice guy to hit
on me. Fall in love with me. Fall in love with our
children. Take care of us so I don't need to stay with
you. I look at men at the gym, the grocery store, dads
at the park...and wonder....will this be the one?
I used to want to make this marriage work, but not
anymore. Sadly, you see nothing wrong with married
people who spend no time together. We're not much more
than roommates. That's fine. It just gives me more
opportunity to find the REAL man of my dreams.


Anonymous said...

#432-Many times I feel the same way. I am a big girl, always have been. Having a child certainly did not help. I envy those who can wear their boyfriends/husbands shirts when they are gone. My husband says he loves my body too, but I cannot see why. I'm trying to understand where he comes from but I look at myself in disgust so cannot understand. He's still with me though and the most loyal person I know, so I'm beginning to believe him. I just wish I could believe it myself.

#433-My husband is military also and I do not like it. It is a very honorable job, but perhaps I'm selfish and want him around all the time. Tonight I'll sleep in a bed by myself as his job has taken him away.

Anonymous said...

Confession #432

"However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day you'll realize you could do better."

Me too. (Okay, I weight 25 pounds more than my husband. But he's slender and I'm incredibly dumpy standing next to him).

"When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy."


"I hate that I can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex,"

Yeah. :-(

Big Hug. You love each other, that is all that matters. Have a beautiful wedding, marry the man of your dreams.

thegoddessanna said...

#432 - I so feel your pain. I'm a good 50 lbs heavier now than I was when my husband proposed. I feel huge next to him. Please believe him when he tells you he loves you and your body. There really are guys like that in the world, who are not hung up on waifness, and you are very lucky to have one. Hugs to you, sweetie, and have a great wedding. : )

Anonymous said...

#432: ME TOO!! God, I love my husband so much for that (and other things).

#433: I'm so sorry. One of my best friends is in the same boat, heck, you might BE one of my best friends. I am praying for all of them to come home safely, and for the crazy situation to be over with.

Diana said...

#432 I just want to offer you a hug. You've got a wonderful man, there.
"Thank you for not riding the rollercoaster without me."

Andrea said...

432, I know how you feel. I am hovering around the same weight as my husband and we're both overweight, but he seems to wear his excess so much better than I. He still gets flirted with at bars, but he only has eyes for me. I don't know how I snagged him either, but I thank my lucky stars for that every day. I hope your wedding day is filled with beauty and utter love. I'm sure it will be. Sounds like you've found a winner.

Anonymous said...

You know what I honestly like about this site is when my husband does or says something that really ticks me off, I can come here and see where some poor woman is waaaay worst off than I feel that I am at the time. I am truly learning to love and appreciate my husband MORE each and everyday.

Anonymous said...

#435, that's AWESOME! I hear shrimp is pretty stinky too. Hopefully he hasn't done anything worthy of the rotten food revenge since 1992.

#436, 437, 439 -- why are you all sticking around? Life is too short for that business.

#440, I hope you can find the means to leave soon without having to rely on a new man to get you out. It would be so much more of a statement to your husband if you left for no other reason than he wouldn't listen to you and work through your issues. Leaving for another man will give the soon-to-be ex a reason to ignore his role in the matter.

Anonymous said...


Wow, I could haven written that post word for word. I feel for ya hun. Lonely, isn't it? :(

Anonymous said...

#432, I could have written your post. I married a skinny man (5'7", 145 lbs.) from a skinny family and I'm the biggest in my fat family. I've gained about 150 lbs. since we met. I know that people stare at us and feel sorry for him when we go out.

He tells me he loves me and he'd never leave, but it's always in the back of my head that he'll try to find something that looks better any time. And I don't know that I would blame him!

Now I just have to figure out why I've let myself get to this point through the years.

Anonymous said...

#440 - Good advice from Anonymous 12:18pm. I was in the same place a few years ago (couldn't believe it when I read your words - I could have written them) and I ended up having a very close friendship with a man I met. We ABSOLUTELY did not sleep together (I would say if we had...since this is anonymous). Something in that relationship helped to boost my self esteem just enough to be able to say, "Buh-bye!" to the ex. Shortly after I left, the ex found out about my friend (he knew about him, but found out we'd been talking alot more than he thought), and wouldn't you know, the ex still thinks I left him for this guy and that I cheated on him. What a bunch of b.s. I almost wish I would have! He has refused to accept the idea that he had anything to do with it. Talk about infuriating!

Anyway, years later, I'm not upset about it. He can think what he wants (since you can't change anyone, especially an ex!). I'm no longer friends w/that guy and I'm all but sure the ex will one day tell our children (when they are grown), "Your mom left me for another man." All I can do is prepare myself for that possiblity.

Hugs to you. I'll be thinking of you.

Gabby said...

I'm #432 and I just wanted to say that all of your wonderful comments have brought me to tears. You have no idea how your kind and encouraging words help. This site is cathartic.

Cat Named Eggroll said...

For #432 and all of the women who feel the same... I'm in a similar pairing, and I've actually *heard* the surprise in peoples voices when they meet him after seeing me first. What they don't know is that he loves me because I love him and take care of him better than anyone else ever could. What they don't know is that I have worth is millions of other ways that have nothing to do with what I weigh or how I look. I'm certain that the same is true for all of you. Your husbands don't love you in spite of how you look, they love you because of everything you are, and if I could have one wish it would be for you guys to realize that they are lucky to have you. They obviously already know it.

Anonymous said...

no worries #440. Not everyone is cut out to do both mothering and work. And not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. I'd lose my mind if I didn't have a job! For my own sanity and peace of mind, I need to get away from the house and kids. I'm a better mom when I work. I know women who neglected their families because they focused on a career, and I know women who neglected their families because they were miserable as SAHMs. Do what is right for YOU and YOUR family.

Reiza said...

#433 is not me (some of my friends are wondering), but yeah, I could have written something similar.

Hugs are extended to all the military wives in our position.

From a favorite t-shirt of mine:

"Hug a military wife than buy her a drink."

and another:

"Military wife: toughest job in the military"

Anonymous said...

#432--I cried when I read this post because even though I didn't write it, it's me. I know my husband loves me for me, but I too often feel he will one day realize he can do better. Every day I wonder " did I get this guy? I'm so lucky!" Every time he holds me I wonder if he is criticizing my fat, but at the same time I know he isn't. He's just not that type of guy.

He is the love of my life and I am thankful for each and every day I have him.

Anonymous said...

#432-I'm just going to echo everyone else and say that you could be me or I could be you. And that when my wonderful husband wraps his arms (almost all the way) around me and tells me how much he loves me and tells me every single day how beautiful he thinks I am that I thank whatever brought him to me. I wasn't 75 pounds heavier than him when we got married, I was probably 50 pounds lighter than him...but he still looks at me exactly the same way. So as you can see from everyone here, you aren't alone. You're just the brave one who said it first.

Anonymous said...

#432. I am so jealous that you found such a great guy! That is one of my biggest worries that if I find a man that loves me for me that my own self esteem and confidence issues will turn me into a jealous bitch. Or that he will wake up one day and be like what the hell did I marry? But it's true, there are men like that out there that love you for you and I'll tell you reading your entry has given me hope that they still exist because I had thought they had disappeared!