Monday, August 07, 2006

True Wife Confessions 40 Ounces of Whoop Ass

Confession #391

It was ME who keyed your car door after the concert when you were acting like a prick.

Confession #392

I'm pretty sure that you love me more than I love you. I don't really feel any kind of passion for you anymore. Beyond the usual doses of typical marital annoyances, I do feel deep friendship, fierce loyalty, unending devotion and the utmost admiration. I hope these are enough to get me through the next sixty years, because I really want to see how this thing turns out.

Confession #393

I love you. You knew I was falling in love with you all the while. I told you. But then, before you left, you acted all shocked, and told me you didn't want that to happen. That you didn't feel that way about me. But then you stayed here for another 3 days before you had to go. I don't understand why, if you KNEW ALL ALONG WHY YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SOONER. And don't use going to war as an excuse. Bullshit.

Confession #394

I hate that you are an alcoholic. I hate that you
won't get help. I hate that you pee some nights in
bed. I hate that our kids know there is a problem. I
hate that my small son knows the word "drunk". I hate
that you blare your music so loud we wake up. I hate
the way you talk to me while drinking. I hate when
you try to grope me when you are totally smashed. I
hate beer cans and cigarette butts left on our lawn.
I hate feeling embarrassed because of you. I hate
when you ruin my plans by drinking. I hate going out
with you because I feel like I can't enjoy myself
100%. I hate being so darn weak that I stay with you.
Most of all I hate that you know all of this and
don't seem to care.

Confession #395

I hated you even more today than I thought I have in a long time. You drove like a fucking maniac, weaving in and out of traffic in the city and then on the parkway, with the road all slick from the rain, WITH OUR 19-MONTH OLD IN THE BACK. I begged. I pleaded for you to slow down, remember that your son is in the back. You barked at me like a fucking animal. You bullied me with your driving. The part of the ride where we stopped talking, when I was staring out of the window looking at the lights...I was trying to convince myself that I really could divorce you and financially survive. That no matter how much a son needs his father, he needs to grow up in a happy and healthy environment too. I was realizing that I can leave your lowlife ass and I will survive, and me and my son will make it. My family puts up with you, but trust me, my mom would be dancing in the streets if I told her I was leaving you, you piece of shit. Your family never taught you any respect for anyone but yourself. Hope that right hand falls off. You don't deserve us. Loser.

Confession #396

I have been lying to you about money to get back at you for not loving me, for blaming your lack of desire for me on me being fat, and for spending more time in front of the computer playing online poker and looking at perverted porn. And now that it's coming to a head, I can't wait to get caught because then you will either wake up to what's wrong with our marriage or let me out.

Confession #397

I am dying to cheat on you. If it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. If you don't value our marriage, why the hell should I? How stupid do you think I am? "I can't wait to kiss you, love [you]" found in your inbox and you claim your email account was hacked into? I'm only glad I forwarded all of them to myself so I you can't deny they were there. I was pregnant with your second child, for God's sake. I will NEVER forgive you for that, and of course I don't trust you. Give me a reason to do so and I will. Until then I can't.

Confession #398

Nothing could ever split us up, but there are a few things that are pissing me off. Take for example your constant guilt trips. I don't need them. I'm aware that you are a great husband, and that you are allways doing what I want to do and constantly entertain me. But that doesn't mean I have to pay you back in sex every 12 hours. I have a life! You, apparently, do not, and that is your business not mine.

And one more thing... Stop bugging me about having a baby! Me and you aren't the type of people that should procreate! We're selfish bastards! You don't know the first thing about babies, you only want one so that it might mold me into the 'perfect wife/mother'. News flash: not the right reason to have children!

Confession #399

sweetie, I love you. but would you put your goddamn dirty socks in a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor wherever you took them off? it's embarassing when people come over. it's not like I don't have five hampers going at any given time. learn to use them.

also. when I come to your work to pick you up. why cannot you get your ass out to meet me when I am actually driving up? no matter what I do, you STILL wait until you see the car parked in front of your office building before you stop doing what you are doing, ride down fifteen floors and come outside to meet me. you say you don't want to be left waiting--but it's OK to leave *me* waiting for *you* with two screaming kids in the car? wtf! your time is more important than ours? fuck that.

Confession #400

Yes, I'd love to have another baby too. I have room for more than one in my heart.

Unfortunately, I don't have room in my day for another child. I do at least 95% of the care for our current one together. I'm sure you'd love to have another baby. Considering that I'd go insane though, maybe it's not the best idea. I can't be a full time mom, full time employee, full time wife, and part time stepmom to anyone else.

Sorry. Step up to the plate and maybe one day I'd consider it. Until then, no I won't stop taking the birth control.


Anonymous said...

#400 - I TOTALLY get that. My hubby wants another, and I said I'm done. My excuses about finances will fizzle out in a few years when we have a bunch of bills paid off. When I explain it's more than the money, he doesn't get it. Unless he decides to step it up, and PROVE to me he will then maybe, but no way in hell right now.

Anonymous said...

Hooray! #391 is an actual confession & not just a complaint!

I'll never tell said...

Okay 10:49 or ummm....Jen. You know a confession is ANY way we feel and the fact that we feel we can't share them w/our husbands. Thus called CONFESSIONS! Call them what you would like, but if you don't enjoy reading them STAY AWAY! We don't need your B.S. If you can't say anything supportive don't come here. I think maybe Jen is actually married to Kevin. OR maybe they are the same person. They have the same attitude and the same writing voice.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, #394. HATE the bedwetting, and it's just not the kind of thing one feels comfortable kvetching about in public ...

Anonymous said...

#394 - I wish I could give you a hug. You are living my old life. I can feel your pain in that confession. Every single one of your points, I have lived through...but a few years ago I just got so fed up that I left, even though I was a SAHM, with not even a credit card in my name.

You can do it. No matter how tough it is to leave, it's nothing compared to what you are living with now. You'll be in my thoughts.

#397 - Hacked into his account??? No. Please tell me he didn't actually try that.

SUEB0B said...

#395 - the driving thing? That is abuse, just as surely as if he had hit you. Please, please get help. You deserve better, and your son deserves better.

Anonymous said...

I'm #395. I felt like it was sort of abusive in the sense that he was being a bully while behind the wheel, but to hear someone else say it and put it out there makes my guts wrench. I didn't think anyone else saw it this way. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

No Lori, I don't hide behind anonymous comments. If I have something to say I'll sign it with my name. Good try though.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I totally agree with Lori (12:01) on every point.

SUEB0B said...

#395 - I absolutely don't want to make you feel bad. I want to see you get the happy, peaceful life you deserve. I hope that you can get it.

I'll never tell said...

Thanks 11:27, it's seems that there are a few out there that just want to blast every post and comment. I say, just let it flow people, that is what it is here for.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Suebob. Actually looking for a counselor as it is. Hopefully he/she will help validate my feelings when I bring it up in front of him.