Monday, November 06, 2006

True Wife Confession Room 112 where the play-ahs dwell

Confession #1111

I love him............... I would do him without any shame at all. I would enjoy every minute of it and would be without any conscience because I have NONE........... now I feel better.

Confession #1112

Finding out that your car was repossessed was the bright spot in my dreary day.
I'm just glad I didn't stick around long enough for you to fuck up my credit
too. Oh, and hearing about your eviction last week, that was pretty great too.
Let the new fiance deal with your financial issues. I'm done paying for your

And please, please, please, stop calling me to tell me how wonderful your life
is. I'm pretty cure having no place to live and no car to get to work in isn't
so peachy. I know your life sucks, I'm glad it does. Get over it.

Confession #1113

If I was who you thought I was, would you still love me?

If you knew what I was really like – would you still see goodness in me…somewhere?

If you thought that I had done the things that I have, would you be as disgusted with me as I am?

If you could see past my smile and look beyond the dinner that I just put in front of you, could you see that I am a lost soul.

Do you know that I am crying all day, silently…whilst I laugh and play with the children.

Would it bother you to know that I lock myself in the closet and scream the scream that only the loneliest can?

Do you fucking CARE that I am not an extension of you?

I am so done.

With this



I am so, utterly alone.

You have no idea who I am.

Confession #1114

The one thing that drives me insane about my man.

I love you with all my heart. You are by far the best thing that ever happened to me. But when I am watching Lost on Wednesday nights after finally getting the baby to sleep and you're sitting there with me kinda bored because you don't know what's going on, please please PLEASE SHUT UP! Yes, I know I can watch it again the next day online, but I don't care. I like to sit down those three times a week and the whole 6 hours I watch telly and actually HEAR what's going on. I don't wnat to have a conversation with you all through the show. I don't need your running commentary on it. Go find something else to do. Isn't there a football game you can go watch in the bedroom or something like you do during Desperate Housewives?

Confession #1115

From one wife to another:

I want desperately to be a good friend and to be a good person but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to do both. Your husband is a mean, controlling, bully. And I'm scared for you. But you've made it clear to me that you're content with the relationship despite his tendencies towards aggression and that you won't consider leaving him. So now what? A good friend would respect your choices and your marriage and support you in your decision to make this horrible relationship work. But a good person wouldn't sit back, being "supportive" while a woman and her 4 kids were being terrorized next door. Where does that leave me? I've been making myself sick over this.

And I'm really sorry that I offended you yesterday when I said that he needs to get his lazy ass up and get a job, he needs to start respecting all the (paid and unpaid) work you do every day to keep your family afloat, he needs to realize that in consensual relationships sex and affection are earned not demanded, he needs to learn that putting his hands on you is a crime punishable by jail time, and he needs to learn that you are a grown-ass woman who's smart and capable as hell and that you don't need his bullshit. The last thing I wanted to do was "hit you when you were down" and I realize now that it wasn't what you needed to hear at the moment. But sweetie, you DO need to hear it at some point. Because he's not the only one who needs to be convinced of all those things.

Please understand that I care about you a lot, and I'm trying like hell to walk this crazy tightrope of respecting your wishes without disrespecting my own personal sense of human dignity. And please know that if you ever do decide to kick his sorry ass to the curb, I'll be right behind you wearing my big, bad, steel-toed boots.

Confession #1116

hello to the true wife confession fans.
i'm confessing my betrayal to all of you.i thought i was happily married until i met a man that swept me off my feet. i'm the worst person i know my loving husband never did anything to desire what i did after 13 years of marriage i slept with another man (somewhat) he was wonderful to me, maybe i was stupid to think that he really loved me. i almost lost my husband and my family because of this. sure he gave me the moon and stars, and anything i asked for but i told him i was leaving my husband for him, he told me not to because he was not worth me leaving my husband. i tried to convence him that we would be a big happy family. HOW STUPID OF ME!!!!!!!
we stopped seeing each other after of 6 months of pure love. and now i'm back home with my husband and children, but not a day goes by that i don't think about him.

Confession #1117

Two weeks ago, when we argued, it was different. You did it in front of the kids, and we vowed to never do that. You grabbed my wrist, and wouldn't let go. That scared me, since I can never tell when you've been drinking.
Last night, we argued again. Again, you did it in front of the kids, even though I tried to take them out of the room. Again, you've been drinking. This time, you wrapped your hands around my neck, and tried to choke me.
In front of the kids.
It happened so fast, I thought I imagained it. I should have called the police, but I wasn't even sure it even happened. Except our daughter was crying hysterically.
This is from my heart:
If you ever touch me again, it will be the last thing you do. I will get a knife and fucking stab you like an animal. Don't bring out the chola in me. Don't make me do it. I'll fucking ventilate you, and not think twice about it.
Don't test me.
Tell that to your buddies at the country club.

Confession #1118

I already know what I'm putting on your tombstone:
Wonderful father.
Lousy husband.

This is what gets me through the day sometimes.

COnfession #1119

ou arent my husband, or my boyfriend, but youre a man that I live with, so i think that you count...

Ok. live with 2 women. You see us clean DAILY. We have a dishwasher-JUST PUT YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN IT! IT IS 1 FOOT AWAY FROM THE SINK! and if it is full...UNLOAD IT! How do you think those clean dishes get out of there??? WE PUT THEM AWAY!!! I realize you are in school and dont have a job, but we do. We work A LOT. And we still manage to clean our large home. When i leave to go to my BF's and you are laying on the couch, then i come home at noon the next day and you are still there....there when i go to obviously have plenty of time to clean. if you have time to watch Family guy and the Simpsons, and Cartoons ALLLLLLL day, then maybe you can find the time to put your dirty cup in the dishwasher. And you need to start cleaning the house. I know you think "it isnt dirty". It isnt dirty bc we clean! You sit and watch us do it! you actually layed onthe couch and watched me vaccuum up the leaves you drag in. And you and i share a bathroom. WIPE YOURE PUBES OUT OF THE SHOWER! They arent from me!! i have blonde hair on my head and no hair anywhere else!!! stop spitting on the sink when you brush!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you leave shit marks in the toliet give it another flush!!! ive asked you A MILLION TIMES to WIPE YOUR PUBES OUT OF THE SHOWER, very nicley, but last night when i was showering and found 1 stuck to me i flipped out, and....i peed on your loofah! :-)

Confession #1120

I hate you. I have never hated anyone. But you are so full of hate you get nothing better in return. You hate women. You hate yourself. You hated your poor mother, may she rest in peace. You hate everyone and everything around you because everyone is happier and better off than you. You are miserable and pathetic, scrawny and sickly and weak. I left you over three years ago when I was three weeks pregnant because it was right. I wasn't about to subject my innocent baby to your abuse. I was so scared and screwed up and it took me a long time to get back on my feet, but I am, almost. It would help if you paid child support but I really don't care. You never will.

I am beautiful. Period. I was not fat when we were married. All the mooing at me, watching every bite I ate, calling me Babe the Pig? You know what that did to me. That's why you did it. I was a size 6, for god's sake. I was gorgeous and sexy then. And I'm gorgeous and sexy now, and I finally realized it, even with this extra baby weight that I still can't get rid of. I was and still am a fucking bombshell, like Callie on Grey's Anatomy. He thinks so too. He loves my body, my curves, my breasts and thighs and ass. But you tried to make me believe it was because I wasn't sexy that you couldn't keep it up.

I met him just a couple months after I left you, totally by chance, and I knew right away, that very second. And I didn't want a relationship yet - I was so screwed up from all the abuse you dished out, verbal and physical, that I didn't want to go near him. I almost gave him up. But he loved me enough that I'm ok now. I'm not angry at you anymore, but I detest you with every fibre of my being. I'm not scared of you anymore, but if you ever come near me it will be the end of you. I have found my power, finally. I will never see you again. You will never see us, and if you do find us someday, he'll beat the shit out of you. He's much bigger than you, and is so many other things that through genetics or bad upbringing or insecurity you will never be. MY daughter (yes, mine - you've never even seen her) is 2 1/2 now and beautiful and happy and wild and creative, and he loves her like his own. Like you never could, because you can't even stand yourself. And you know, we're not perfect together, me and him. We have grumpy moments, and the 6000 miles between us is so damn hard, but we've stuck it out and we know without a doubt that what we have, however 'imperfect,' is the real thing. But we've never had a fight, and he's never raised a hand to me. We've never even yelled. We're a family, the three of us, and that's something you'll never have. I have hugged and kissed my baby girl goodnight every night of her life (except for that one week I was in Europe for a much-deserved vacation, even on my minimum wage salary), so you can keep your flat screen TV and pile of video game consoles that you seem to think makes your life so much better than mine. If you put them really close to your bed they just might keep you warm.


Anonymous said...

1113 - sweetheart you need to talk to someone about this, can you ask your doctor for help?

1115 - you're a good friend, keep telling her, gently, I was in a similar situation some years ago, it was a tightrope walk trying to tell her that he was an abusive bastard, build up her self esteem and keep her close too, she pushed me away again and again, but now 10 years later, she has thanked me for my intervention. I'm glad I stuck with it even when she told me to fuck off and keep my nose out of her business, it was hard though and very upseetting, I wish you strength.

1117 - this is a dangerous situation, please don't wait for him to put his hands on you again, get out now, please, next time he might not stop until you pass out or worse, your children should not have to experience that nor should you, please get help today, now, change the locks, leave the house, get a restraining order, whatever you have to do to keep you and your children safe.

1120 - glad you found a good man and ditched the loser, your daughter will be better for it as you so obviously already are.

anne said...

#1113 - Please know that you are NOT alone. You have reached my heart and mind, certainly. You are not alone, you really really are not.

I don't know what else to say. I have felt the same way you do, knowing that the one I am married to does not know who I am. I live that daily. I am trying to change this fact, and if he can't understand or change with me, so be it.

I guess what I really, really want you to know is that you are not alone. If you want someone to talk to, you can respond and I will send you my information.

Please take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

1117 - don't give him the chance. Your kids need their mama. If you kill him and end up in prison, what happens to your children? If he kills you first, what happens to your children? Don't give him the chance to touch you again, just get out now and take your kids with you. Please.

Anonymous said...

1112. WOOHOO! My first husband lost EVERYTHING after me. He already had bad credit and spent all the money he made but blaimed it on me. I was stuck at home with no car, no job, no friends. In the end, he got a DUI AFTER he threw me out and told everyone it was my fault. After that, he got remarried because his parents made him after getting my friend pregnant but that marriage lasted about as long as ours had. His second wife found out he got a new truck, had his pay re-evaluated, and had his truck repoed to cover more child-support. Power to women who watch losers fall and don't help them pick up. He found out I was remarried and wanted to see me after being divorced almost 3 years. LOSER!

1115. My best friend's husband is verbally abusive. He says awful things to her (Do you know how f*cking stupid you sound? SHUT THE F*CK UP!) and tries to treat EVERY woman like that. She cries to me but in the end, she defends him. I did the same with my ex. He was verbally abusive and I told myself it wasn't abuse because he never hit me. I moved away but I still try to be there for her and that's all you can do for now.

Anonymous said...

1120 - *Raises fist in cheer*

Awesome! Stuff like that makes me grin because you don't often get to hear good stories about real love, the kind that might not be storybook, but it keeps you warm, and grounded, and happy. The kind that my wife and my daughter and I share. Totally made my day.

Also, Callie from Greys is the hottest girl on that show and, In my opinion, one of the most beautiful women working in TV right now. You ARE absolutely beautiful and deserve every single solitary drop of Happy that comes your way!


Anonymous said...

#1113 - you really are not alone, not ever. if you really want to pick yourself up out of the darkness that you are in, then fight, and find your way. because what you're talking about isn't about your husband.

wishing you all the love and care in the world.

Anonymous said...

#1113 - Honey, I have been where you are. Trust me, that crap they shove down your throat if you OD tastes awful coming back up!!!! Not worth it!!! Your babies need you. Please please please contact a help line. Contact me!!!! I'm giving my contact info to the site owner to give you. Do contact me. I can listen and understand.

Anonymous said...

good god, #1113, except for the kids part...

...i'm you

Anonymous said...

1113, You are so not alone. I could have written your confession word for fucking word. Know that you are not the only one feeling this way.

Anonymous said...

1114 - AMEN, sister. I couldn't agree more. For the love of god, go somewhere else and stop asking me stupid questions while I'm trying to look at Sawyer. And Jin. I don't KNOW what the black smoke is, I don't know who the Others are, I don't know why Locke just made that face; I'm not supposed to know. That's the mofo POINT.

Also - same applies to Prison Break and Heroes. Piss off.