Wednesday, November 15, 2006

True Wife Confession 118 Experience

Confession #1171

Dear Hubby:
You know how "we" agreed that we were going to keep
the thermostat at 68 this winter and not "waste money"
on foolish things like heat and warmth? Well, I just
can't do it. As soon as you go to work in the
morning, I crank the old thermostat up to 75. Roasty,
toasty warm. I LOVE HEAT!!!!

Confession #1172

I cant stop thinking about you, it seems like lately its all I do. I walk around, cooking, cleaning, take care of the baby, talk to my husband, go through life's motions. But inside, the thoughts just pulsate through me. For a while, it seemed like you were going to fade away with time. I still thought about you everyday, but not like this. All it took was seeing that damn movie to remind me of you, of us, of how it used to be. And now the memories just keep crashing into the sides of my head like waves, pounding away with the sadness and loneliness of reality back into my soul. It's been 5 years since I last saw you, and not a day goes by that i still wouldnt want to wrap myself around you completly. I hate the decisions I've made. G*d knows I love my child more than life itself, but I wish I could just go back in time, before i got married, before becoming a mother, and still be with you. To feel free again. And to know what real passion feels like once again. It's gone forever, and i will never have that feeling ever again. I feel like my life is over and there is no desire left inside. I am a desert. I miss you more than you will ever know.

Confession #1173

This goes out to confession #1107

If you want him to be a better lover and figure out that it isnt working for you....stop faking! I know it's hard...ive been there, he's pumping away with no end in sight and all you want to do is just go to bed, bc an orgasm just isnt gonna happen; whether it's his fault or not. In the past...this is what I have totally silent. yes, it is passive agressive, but i feel that it is better than saying "just finish bc im not coming" or a simple..."ow, my hair" in a monatone voice works! They will usually ask "is something wrong?" then nicley say...well im not close to coming....unless you wanna (insert naughty deed here). I know many women may find my thinking backwards, or game playing....but we are women, we are game a good way of course. and men, god love them...they can do a lot, but sometimes they just do not get simple things unless you let them know in simple ways, so be a woman, play games, and work things out with out really hurting any feelings!

Confession #1174

I am sorry you are waiting to hear if your cancer has come back. I feel terrible for you. You have dealt with this twice before and haven't. I want you to know, whatever you need from me I am here. Cancer or no cancer, we have only been together 4 months and I don't know where our relationship will end up. But right here right now I am 100% devoted to you. I'm your biggest fan and I want you to have a happy successful life more then anyone else in the world. Whatever happens we will get through this together.

Confession #1175

I would like to possibly get seven or eight hours of sleep if at all possible. I do not get the luxury of going to bed at 7:30, since I am still doing the dinner dishes, because dinner was not eaten until 6:45 because you and your sons are hunting! Therefore, I am not ready to be awake or am not even remotely possibly horny at 3:30 a.m.!!!! Go back to sleep, asshole, and let me wake up on my own. You might find I’m a tad more receptive when I get enough sleep! Don’t blame everything on PMS!! Look in the mirror sometimes!

Confession #1176

I have left a confession on this site before, confidently stating that I was not in love with you anymore.

Three months later, and we have finally seperated. Oh, how strong I was - finally doing what needed to be done so I could get "what I deserved".

I know we can never go back to where we were, and we will never be husband and wife again.

But I wish I could tell you how much I miss you, every single day, and how sorry I am for all of the things that I took for granted about your love, friendship, affection and our relationship.

I wish I could tell you how lonely I am, and how much I have learned through this whole experience.

Like a child, I blamed you for all of our problems, and all of my unhappiness.

But truth be told, I'm "single" now, and more unhappy than ever and I am dealing with more problems than I could have ever imagined.

That is not to say that it is not for the better, but also, the grass is not always greener.

Confession #1177

I hope you don't make me look like the fool. I know that I'm probably going a bit crazy and that I'm dreaming all of this up, but my woman's intuition tells me that you're fooling around with her. You know who I'm talking about. You know that I had a dream about this a year ago. You laughed when I told you about it. Hell, I laughed about it. I'm starting to think I was right though.

We always agreed that if either one of us was ready to move on and be with someone else we would be open about it. We would admit it, leave before fooling around, and get on with our lives. If you want to leave then just leave. Let me live before wasting another day.

If you're not cheating on me then I need you to tell me. I need you to reassure me that you love me more than any other woman on the planet. That no matter what we are in this for the long haul. That we will always be together. That no other woman could ever come between us because we were meant for eachother. Because we are soulmates.

Confession #1178

We have been together 20 years and I love you more than anything but when we are lying in bed at night and you are holding my hand I am dreaming of another man who fucks me like there's no tomorrow, whose kisses light me up from inside. I do love you though.

Confession #1179

Do you really think it's helpful and polite to throw all the dirty dishes and pots and pans from the evening's dinner (that your wife prepared) into the sink and leave them?

Especially since we know who will end up cleaning them up while you wait impatiently so you can turn on the Ti-vo'd shows from the night before.

Double especially since that wife bathes the kids every freaking night while you could be cleaning out the dishwasher and the sink.

Triple especially since you think that the wife will look your way sexually for one.freaking.instant after she's had to clean the kitchen and make the coffee and made to feel bad for not waiting until after you're done watching our shows and doing the nasty to take care of the chores.

I love you very much, but for this kind of selfishness, you can just BITE ME!

Confession #1180

We aren't married, but we talk about it. I love you so
much and I can hardly believe my good luck that I have
found someone as loving as you. I love when you call
or email out of the blue just to tell me that you're
thinking about me. I love it when you ask me so
sweetly for a kiss. I love it that you try so hard
when you think I'm upset with you so that you won't do
whatever it was again.

When you leave to go out of town for work, I
understand that. Really, I do. Sometimes I feel that
you don't miss me as much as I miss you and that
hurts. Even if deep down I know you do, a girl still
needs to hear it. I know you work hard on your
business trips and I love you for that. Sometimes, I
just feel like I'm the only one of us who tries to
keep the connection (both emotional and sexual) going
when you're away. Even when you're here, there is a
physical distance between us and this connection is
important. I just want to be assured that out of sight
isn't out of mind.

I also know that some men don't like public displays
of affection. I am trying to understand that this is
part of your personality. Sometimes I take things too
personally and I feel like you're ashamed of me and
ashamed for people to see us kiss or even hold hands.
I am proud of you, and of our love, and I don't care
if everyone around us can see how much we love each
other. So when I push for kissing or holding your hand
in public, that's the reason. That, and the fact that
I love touching you. And I just want to be close to
you all the time. I love you sweetness and I can't
wait to spend the rest of my life with you.


n/a said...

You TEACH, #1176. This is a super important point. There are all kinds of valid reasons for a couple to separate, Lord knows, but women should know that happiness and satisfaction do not automatically result from leaving.

Anonymous said...

I am #1177. It felt good to send in that confession. I've gotten over my horrible feeling that my husband was cheating on me. As if he were reading my confession (or my mind) he came home and gave me what I needed. I'm so glad he did it too. It's almost as if our marriage was renewed in that one night.

Mitzi Green said...

1171, i am so with you. when someone gives me empirical proof that a 7 degree difference in thermostat setting amounts to a higher monthly figure than the cost of dinner at mcdonald's, i'll turn down the thermostat. until then, i will keep the indoors icy in summer and roasting in winter. BECAUSE I CAN.

Anonymous said...

ha ha. i have the opposite problem, arguing to turn the thermostat down! I prefer an indoor temp of 63-65.. if i get cold i put on a sweatshirt and turtle my hands inside the sleeves... its healthier for our allergies too ;-)

Anonymous said...

#1172- You're not alone. I could've written your post, word for word. I wish I could just see him one more time. Just one.