Monday, October 16, 2006

True Wife Confessions 95 Theses posted by Martin Luther

Confession #941

Dear Husband,
I tell you that my period lasts longer than it does so I don't have to start having sex with you so soon afterwards. I can show affection without you assuming we'll get busy. This also allows me to fall asleep earlier because we are not staying up for sex.

Sure, I am in the mood but I can take care of that quick and effectively with my little friend.

Confession #942

You've hurt me more than I think I can forgive. You cheated on me not once but 2 times. And why? Cause you weren't getting enough? No you did it in a childish attempt to get me back cause I payed some bills late. That's plain out fucked up and I honestly don't know if I love you anymore. I think I stay with you only because I have no way to support myself and our 4 kids. Most likely once they are all out of the house I will leave you.

Confession #943

this morning you got up and let the dog out even though it was my turn to do it. i got to sleep 10 extra minutes. but instead, i just layed in bed and thought about how thankful i was to you for that little favor for those extra 10 minutes. it was a great way to start the day. thank you.

then you sent me beautiful flowers at work. that card said that you were "Thinking of me." Thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me. i know that you love me. (you say it all the time.) but now, i look over on my desk and i SEE that you love me all day. and that means so much to me. i feel special all day. i feel loved. and safe. and chosen. thank you. thank you thank you thank you. i am a lucky girl.

Confession #944

When you are away on business trips I go through your old stuff in the basement that you have not looked at in years. Quite often, when I am done I have 3 boxes. 1 for goodwill, 1 for the trash and 1 really small box with stuff I put back. If you knew I did this you would be furious, but you have never asked about anything that I have removed. Ever.

Confession #945

I am finally beginning to love you again.

Confession #946

Remember that time we and those other people went camping for the weekend. Remember the other couple fighting? Remember how I wanted to leave because I was so miserable. And how our other friend was going to give me a ride home since you didn't want to leave. The only reason I didn't is cause I knew what would have happened. I've wanted that friend for a long time but have never acted on it. I know we would have had sex. That man showed me more compassion that day than you had in a LONG time. When I got extremely scared of something almost to the point of a panic attack and was bawling who was holding me comforting me? You should have been but it was HIM. You were making fun of me for crying and HE was the one consoling me. He truly cared you were just being an insensitive ass.

And the kicker is I wish I would have let him take me home. I regret all the time that I didn't. And now that he isn't with anyone, well I thought about doing it anyways. He and I have always had mutual feelings for each other.


Confession #947

The kids are yours. I know you work with some lovely people (sarcasm) who said that I am a wh*re. I am not. It hurts that you'd believe the lovely ladies that you work with over me. The kids are yours. We tried together for 7 months to have our daughter. On the ride to the hospital to have our son, you again, accused me of cheating and said some really rude things. You did the same thing when we had our daughter. I have never cheated on you. However, keep pushing and I will. You want me to forgive you for saying those things. To me, however, those are the most hurtful things someone could say to me. I will never forget. They are always lying in the back of my mind.

Confession #948

I bought my first car on my own recently. I was tickled pick. It is a really nice Mom-mobile. You couldn't just let me enjoy it for a few days. On the way home, you began to criticize me for the interest rate I got. You began to pick apart the car and tell me I got ripped off. Let me enjoy my new car. You, my husband, wouldn't co-sign or help me negotiate. So, back off buster.

Confession #949

I knew that something was going on when you came home from your last deployment. I found the calling card, I tracked down the numbers, I knew her name. I still have the numbers. I am not the fool you took me for. I know that you have not had any contact with her for over a year and that what contact you had was not physical but I am still mother fucking pissed.

Now that I do know the truth (and after much insistance) all the details about your 'special friend', I am not sure I want to leave. I can be big enough to realize that I wasn't always the wife I should have been or the wife you deserved. Doesn't make it right. However, it would behoove you to understand that if you ever fuck with my emotions or the emotions or our children again I will never look back.

Confession #950

I would never, ever cheat on you, but I hope someday to get to fuck a thin man. Your weight loss surgery can't come quick enough because you're the thin man I want.

7 comments:

Julie said...

#947, 948, and 949 are the 3 Musketeers of ASSHATS!!!

Millions of virtual hugs to you three. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love having this opportunity to bare my soul.

Thank you all for listening and supporting me.

It also helps to hear that I am not the only one who thinks he is a big jerk.

Dusty said...

#944 -- I do that, too! I'm slowl diminishing the pile of junk in the basement, and he has no clue. It works!

Anonymous said...

#942-- LEAVE NOW.

Anonymous said...

Great idea, 944. I'll have to try it. :)

Anonymous said...

#949 Just remember honey. If you leave him, you make sure you file the right paperwork and get half of his retirement. The military says that you're entitled to it. Also, if he doesn't pay child support they'll take it out of his pay check and put it directly into your account. Oh yeah. If he really, really, really, really screws up you can go in with your power of attorney and change his paycheck to direct deposit into your own account and it'll take him months to correct it. Just a thought.

urbanwhite said...

From the sound of it, all you do is fuck up the guy's gredit rating (refusing to cosign for your car was his way out of being tied to you for the 60 whatever months he'll be responsible for you to pay on time).

This blog just makes me cringe- especially the feminazi who posted #944. Either seek counseling or get divorced- sitting on the internet whining to strangers won't solve anything.