Saturday, October 28, 2006

True Wife Confessions 106 degrees of Seperation

Confession #1051

When you hugged me last night and told me you would take care of everything and not to worry, I fell more in love with you. I needed you to be my hero then. Thank you.

Confession #1052

We're young I know but we have a 2 year old and we need to make this work. You woke me up at 3 am the other day yelling at me because there was a pack of gum on the desk with 2 pieces missing so somebody must have been here. Your looking for signs that I'm cheating but you won't find any i've haven't been with another person in the last 3 1/2 years we've been together. Most men would be happy to know there not being cheated on but you've made mistakes in the past (and I've forgave u) but you think i can never be better at anything then you but i am, I'm better at being faithful. I love you still and hope we can work through this but if not I'll find someone else that loves our son and can appreciate me.

Confession #1053

Get this straight. Cyber flirting with another woman is no more acceptable
to me than real life flirting. Calling another woman pet names is disloyal
to me. Telling another woman you wish she was here with you (even though
you've never met her) is a betrayal. Not rebutting another woman's advances,
in order to massage your ego, is disloyal to me. This has hurt me beyond
belief and I will never forget it or forgive you. You can never make it up
to me.

Confession #1054

There is snow on the ground and the furnace stopped working last night. I managed to fix it, all by myself. Not once did I wish for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and care of the problem. Dumping your lazy @ss is the best thing I've ever done.

Confession #1055

Honey -
I do not love my job. I do not love the things I have to do during the day that I don't particularly enjoy. I do not love having to get up in the morning earlier than is necessarily fair to the human body. I don't really love not being able to do all the things in the evening that I want to. But at the end of a particularly hard day, at the end of a particularly long week or even after a few hours of icky chores, I love coming home to you. I love that you're always there for me when I get home with a hug and a kiss on my forehead (something else I love) I love that you are responsible enough (occasionally) to clean the kitchen when you know I don't want to ... even if it takes a few days. I love that every now and then you let me just sit and rest and relax and take care of everything. I love that you made me buffalo shrimp and didn't stop until you almost burnt the house down and got it right. Luckily, nothing but the first batch was truly burnt. I love sharing the kitchen with you when we cook something together. I love the way we tease each other and know that it doesn't really mean anything. It's just our way of showing how much we love each other. I love that you love me that much. I love that you love me enough to make sacrifices, the ones I know about and the ones I don't. I love you enough to put up with you when you're being a complete ass, particularly because you love me enough to put up with me when I'm being a complete ass. I love that you understand how hard it is for me to move to Maryland and away from all of my friends and my family, and my Dad (which is really the most difficult part). I love that you understand my close relationship with him. Thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm crazy, and juvenile, and anal-retentive and just plain mean. I love you very much, and the most selfish and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself was marry such an amazing man. Happy Love Thursday.

Confession #1056

I know I told you that your beloved black pepper mill fell off the counter and broke. It didn't - I threw that fucker in the trash! I was so sick of you putting a coating of cracked black pepper on every dinner you made. I hated that I had to rinse the cooked chicken and steak off before the girls and I could eat it. Pepper on your lasagna?? Who does that? You like black pepper. We don't! How many times can I tell you to pepper your own dinner and not ours????? Seriously, I think you do just do it to piss me off. It is one button you know how to push.

If you are wondering - the red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper - they are in the trash too. I will just keep on "forgetting" to get them when I go grocery shopping.

Confession #1057

So, you want to know why I cheated
He spoiled me from day one, with simple little things,
Opening the door for me, telling me I looked nice, that I was beautiful.
Things that you never did. And he is willing to give me the moon and stars, no questions asked. If I tell you I need new shoe, you ask why?


Confession #1058

Why the FUCK does your male friend sign his e-mails, "Love, ****"? What the FUCK is that all about? Let me find out that you so much as LOOKED at another man and you are HISTORY, you erectile dysfunctioning, premature ejaculating, non-sex initiating &^%$#@.

Confession #1059

I know where the "mysterious dent" came from on the car door. I bumped another car parking. I just don't want to hear the bull shit about my driving or any thing else. So I will keep my mouth shut and let you think that it was a parking lot accident. Cause you know what? It isn't worth the ammunition that it will become for later fights.

Confession #1060

Who the hell do you think you are leaving me a note on my day off to
"clean the house".
Yes, I know you work full time and I work part time. I also go to
school and I do take care of the house. Do you think your clothes
magically clean themselves and put themselves away? Do you think that
I push a magic button and dinner appears each night? Not to mention
all the other million little things I do to make this house a home
and take care of our kids.

You don't like the way the house looks? Clean up after yourself.
Don't be an ass and announce that you are going to clean up and throw
away anything that is not in it's place. If I did that to you, your
only possession would be your toothbrush.


You never even lifted a finger for the 14 months you were out of
work. You 'networked' and had 'business lunches' and found so many
other things to do except pick up after yourself. Don't think that I
didn't notice during your unemployment period that you found time to
have lunch with everyone under the sun, yet each time I asked you,
you were too busy.

By the way, I am going to school to get a degree so that I can
qualify for a decent paying job and be rid of you. You were the one
who insisted I be a SAHM, yet the moment our first child was born and
I quit working, you treated me like a useless burden who didn't
contribute to the family.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

#1056--my husband is the same way about pepper!! Black, red, it doesn't matter...he wants it on EVERYTHING! Also puts hot sauce on EVERYTHING!!! Drives me nuts. But I cook so he won't put it on anything I'm going to eat!

Dawn said...

I can't tell you all the fights Terrance and I have had about his freaking need to slather pepper/hot sauce on everything. I didn't write that confession, but I could have.

Is it all men, or is it just a black guy thing?

I almost broke up with him in the early days because he made a chicken dish that smelled SO GOOD, but he'd out in a whole god damn bottle of Tabasco. After 16 years, he waits to season AFTER he cooks, cause Em and I refuse to eat it!

Anonymous said...

My dad loved to put pepper and hot sauce on everything. I guess I'm immune to it now, because there are a lot of things that I spice the same way he does. But lasagna? Gross.

Anonymous said...

#1052...honey, it's been fifteen years for me and he's still the same. I've never cheated but if I had a dime for everytime he accused me of it I'd be a rich woman. I kept thinking in time he would see my love and my loyalty...yesterday he screamed at me about the (boy)guy at the gas station who smiled at me... Did I like it? Do I want someone else/ IS there someone else? I just sighed and tried to ignore him.... that's how it goes now, fifteen years later.
This kind of jealousy doesn't go away. It hibernates for awhile and then comes back out.
Get him into counseling, or leave him. I wish I'd left when my son was two, before he and his father developed the relationship that I can't destroy now.

Denise said...

#1052...WTF? He assumes you're cheating because of 2 pieces of gum? What an ass! I always chew two pieces at a time.

#1054...Good for you! :)

#1056...My soon-to-be-ex did that when I allowed him to set foot in my kitchen. He also liked to add beer to every sauce he made. Then he would throw a fit when no one would eat it. Moron.

#1060...On his next day off, leave him a note saying "Go to hell."

Anonymous said...

#1060 - I could have written this. I just wish I could do something about it.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE black pepper, hot sauce, etc... I guess I'm a lucky girl there

10:5- Sounds like he's gay. I wish you all the best, and I hope I'm wrong.

Anonymous said...

1052- that's called ABUSE. Get out.

Anonymous said...

#1053... it's called an emotional affair and trust me, even if this one ends, he'll find another one.. and eventually it goes beyond emotional.

Mitzi Green said...

okay, first of all, i'm glad my husband and i both "like it hot." and i'm talking strictly about food, here.

and 1054--you're my hero.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the guy who dares to imply that being a SAHM is not like working!

MizMell said...

What is it with the freaking pepper?
By the time its seasoned, you can't tell what's under there.

Also.. guys who think YOU are cheating, generally are the ones with the guilty conscience.

Anonymous said...

With my husband, it's anything garlic. He puts garlic on pizza, french fries, sandwiches... I had to make a stink about it (and I felt like a whiny bitch doing it, but I HATE that much garlic) several times before he'd back off on my portion of the dinner.

Anonymous said...

1060 - I can't WAIT for you to get the degree and get the hell out. Your description pissed me off to the bone! Wonder why?

Anonymous said...

1053~
I could be you.