Wednesday, October 11, 2006

True Wife Confessions 92 Resolutions

Confession #911

Last night, we sat and talked about your family. I asked you, point blank, how you managed to avoid being insane, because everyone you grew up with is completely insane. I said to you that I know you love me and you love the children. I have no doubts about that. But how you were able to walk away from your birth family, well, it scares me.

It still scares me. I just don’t want you to ever walk away from us like that.

Confession #912

I cannot keep going to your candle parties, your stamping parties, your cookwear parties, your purse parties, your scrapbook parties. I know you need to make money. But I can't afford to help pay your bills. Money is tight for us. The products you are selling are ones I can get cheaper elsewhere, IF I even needed them in the first place. You're in a saturated market. You sell the same products as does everyone else on my block, at work, at church. Maybe that's why you have to be so pushy? Most of you are understanding. A few of you guilt trip me so badly that it makes me not want to be friends any longer. If I say no to your candle party, do I have to be guilted into giving an excuse? Or guilted into making the next one? I am just going to eat your food and not buy anything. You'll end up losing money if I attend. Some of you can no longer have conversations without marketing your products. I want my old friends back. The ones whose brains weren't taken over by MLM Madness.

Confession #913

I love you. You are amazing in almost every way. But please don't
tell me that you can't FINALLY finish your extra job (which was your
idea to take) MONTHS AND MONTHS after you said you would (while our
half fixed up house sits waiting for walls to be put up, floors to be
put down) because you really need to go to sleep at 9 pm each night.
Please don't tell me you're tired, and will just rest for a minute.
We both know it's not true. Please don't tell me "Babe, you know I
don't get enough sleep" when between your naps and bedtime, you get
darn near 7-8 hours a night. And, by the way, Mr. Observant--I get
less sleep than you. Every. Single. Night. I take care of the dogs,
the house, everything about 85% of the time. Your 15% comes when I've
asked you to do it about 3 times already. OH, and I'm gone from the
house as much as you, but the difference is I'm in school (med
school), and you're at work. Who has exams? Who is going to be
responsible for lives with whatever knowledge that she does or does
not properly learn because she is so busy keeping life together and
picking up after you?

We've had you tested, and nothing's out of whack. Your thyroid is
fine, your iron is fine. I just don't think you like dealing with
being tired in any way whatsoever. I think you have the mindset that
if you're tired, everything else isn't as important. Like doing your
work. Or spending more than 10 minutes with me at night before I have
to drag your comatose behind to bed after waking you up about 3
million times.

I especially liked the night that I was downstairs in the bathroom,
after "dropping the kids of at the pool", and I needed toilet paper.
You went upstairs to get it for me, and laid down on the bed and FELL
ASLEEP!!! I seriously wanted to hit you as I was screaming over and
over for you to wake up and get me some friggin' toilet paper as you
are snoozing away in the bed.

Everything else is great. You seriously need to work on this problem,
though. I'm not a toothbrush toilet swoosher, but I may hide all of
it one day and fall asleep when you need it the most. POOPhead.

Confession #914

I love you and am truly blessed to have you in my life. But I absolutely hate it when you sing along to EVERY song, especially in the confined space of a car. It's even worse when you don't know the words and just hum the tune. Please stop before I go completely daffy!

Confession #915

A confession to a friend of a friend,
I met you at my friend's house. Our children tried to play together, but didn't get along. You and I had nothing in common, either. We never spoke or saw each other for months after that. Imagine my shock when an invitation to your child's birthday party arrived in the mail. I asked my friend if it was because you didn't know anyone. She said no, she thought about 30 kids would be attending! Did you send me the invite because you're fishing for presents? Does a 10 dollar gift your child will get bored with in 20 mins really mean that much to you? We won't be attending your party.

Confession #916

Confession #917

Confession #918

Confession #919

Confession #920

Hey, did you notice something? TWC has run out of confessions. Yep, you heard me right. Hard to believe, but true. We will rejoin our regularly schedule programming when the inbox brimmith over again....


Anonymous said...

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I can't possibly get by without my TWC fix!!!! Please people!!! Send them in!!!! By the DOZEN!!!! PPPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow...I didn't think it would be possible to run out!!!

Anonymous said...

Damn! I am seriously bummed now. I have already sent in all of my confessions. I will try to think of crappy things my ex-husband did and if I think of any more I will send them in, but I think I used them all already.

Anonymous said...

I hear you girl, my Mum distanced herself from her birth family is a way that chills me to the bone. Amazingly she instilled a "family first" rule in her kids, but her scorn and derision for her siblings is something else. It worries me too, I hope none of my siblings have inherited that gene.

It sounds like there is something seriously wrong with your man, depression maybe?

Maybe she wants to make friends with you, maybe she liked you even though you thought you had nothing in common she may have experienced it differently?

Anonymous said...

913......has your husband been tested for narcolepsy...i only ask cause the falling asleep so suddenly while he was supposed to be getting you the TP, that seems pretty abnormal

Anonymous said...

Confession 913 here. Thanks for your comments. I've considered both depression and narcolepsy, but not for long. Sleeping is his only characteristic symptom of depression. He loves his job, is happy there...doesn't feel discontent, and other than these frustrations, we really have a good relationship. We're involved with friends/volunteering...stuff that depression usually causes people to withdraw from. If anything, his/our greatest concern and frustration is a lack of time together.

And I don't think it's narcolepsy, because he chooses to lay down. Generally, narcoleptics fall asleep regardless of environment or activity. That's not him. It's only at home when he chooses to lay down. It's like he sees a bed and becomes one track minded. It's also, strangely, only when he should be working. Spending time with me or doing fun things do not bring on these mysterious bouts of sleepines (regardless of amount of sleep in the nights before ...Seriously.)

Lori said...

AMEN! I cannot STAND those stupid product parties. I have blogged about this myself and yes, have had to end a few "friendships" because some people just don't get it.

If you value my company and want to hang out with me, please don't ask me to buy something from you. That's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

912: That is the reason why I got OUT of the candle selling thing. At first, I needed my friends to help out with getting me started. But after that, it was SO hard to get other people that I kept having to ask my friends. And that isn't right...I wish everyone would realize that 2 parties a year is good enough. And even then I'll buy a $9.99 item, just to not look cheap!

Anonymous said...

my auto-email account isn't working correctly atm, could someone post the email addy for TWC?

Anonymous said...

think of nice wonderful things your hubby has done or said and send those to Dawn. it doesn't always have to be something bad, good is great too.

Anonymous said...

here it is:

Anonymous said...

Ok...Well, I check TWC everyday fro the confession I made over two months ago....yet still NOTHING!! Maybe I overlooked it somewhere, but I swear, I have been on this site everyday- a few times a day, and nothing!!

C'est La Vie!!

Anonymous said...

You might need to look back thru the comments because it seems like there are a few that only made it to the comment post. I know that Dawn usually deletes those and posts them but I know I've seem a couple awhile back that might have been overlooked.

Dawn said...

It is possible that a confession got routed to the Spam folder by mistake. I re-route the emails to my main email account, but do go back and check the truewife email to make sure that some confessions didn't get wrongly labeled as "Make sex last all night" or "Better lovin for your woman" emails.

So, if you sent one and it hasn't shown up, I ask that you re-send it with the question as to where it is, or when/if it appeared. I will back track and either try to find it OR apologize copiously to you in an email. There was a time ( back in July when we were moving) when I had a heck of a time keeping up.

I let things go to, or if you are worried, my main email is

And now I must write a paper I am supposed to present to 20 people tonight - which has not yet been written....

Anonymous said...

#913 - have his testosterone tested - yeah, it's a bit embarrassing, but low testosterone, especially if he's still fairly young (30s-40s) can be debilitating. It's also something doctors probably won't test for by default. Being exhausted after sleeping 9 or 10 hours was one of my symptoms (and threatened my job - I was falling asleep at work even after all that sleep). Decreased libido is the other obvious symptom, as is a loss of lean body mass (getting pudgy despite no change in lifestyle). Basically, old age comes early (I'm 35). It's easily treatable. Getting treated totally changed my life, for the better.

Anonymous said...

#912 - I love it. Now, would you mind contacting my pushy friends? I'm too much of a wuss.

Anonymous said...


I would also suggest that your husband be tested for hepatitis c. The fatigue caused by active, chronic hepatitis c can be quite debilitating. Hep C is known as a "silent killer" because symptoms can be so vague and easily explained away (extreme fatigue that is not alleviated by adequate amounts of sleep, intermittent joint or muscle pain, upper right quadrant pain, insomnia, and other flu-like sypmtoms). A person can have the disease for decades before being diagnosed, and HCV is four times more common than AIDS. So, there are many millions of Americans who have the disease and may not know it. Good luck to you both and let us know if you learn of any medical diagnosis that is causing him to be so tired all the time.

Anonymous said...

You might have run out because the email address is broken. I just tried to send in a confession, and it came right back to me with a failure notice.

Anonymous said...

1:40, make sure you send it to If you put an "s" at the end of "confession" then it won't work. Kinda messes with your mind, and even Dawn wrote it wrong in her comment above.

I found that out yesterday when sending in a confession to refill the coffers. I just can't have a day without my twc fix.

Dawn said...

(Dawn holds head in hands)

Yes, I screwed up my own email address.

Dawn said...

Ah-HA! I just claimed the email address

so they are now BOTH mine and should get the confessions to me.