Tuesday, July 11, 2006

True Wife Confessions (Sexy and) 17

Confession #161

You are a better father than I ever hoped.

Confession #162

I hate that every time you come from work you leave your keys where every you first sit your ass down. I even put a key hanger by the front door so there would be no need to search the house 50 times over and finally find your keys in the bathroom next to the toilet. Yes, most of the time I know where your keys are, but I figure at the least I can laugh to myself watching you search for them and you are late for work every morning. Is it really that hard....Come on. And when you lost my keys and made me hours late for work looking and finally finding them BEHIND our entertainment center, I really wanted to hurt you when you came home and you didn't even care. Thanks.

Confession #163

I am not your personal errand girl. Just because I am off for the summer does not mean that my new job is to run to the bank, bring you lunch, get the oil changed on both cars, do the grocery shopping, and do all of my usual chores. I'm on vacation. If you wanted two months off, you should have gotten a degree in teaching. I'm on vacation, buddy-leave me the hell alone.

Confession #164

If you touch my ass again while I am loading the dishwasher, I will deck you. Seriously. If you want to get some, quit groping and grab and dish and put it away-not that you know which cabinet the dishes belong in. You'd get a lot farther in the bedroom if you gave a little more in the rest of the house, you lazy ass.

Confession #165

You proposed because I was pregnant. I accepted because I was pregnant. Our child will be 18 soon, and I am SO OUT OF HERE!!

Confession #166

I did not get a job to get insurance. I got it to save money so I can leave you. You didn't appreciate me when I stayed at home with the kids, you don't appreciate me now that I'm working. Maybe you'll appreciate me when I'm gone.

Confession #167

When I asked you to dress our baby last winter, and you came downstairs dressed in warm socks, boots, long underwear, heavy jeans, two shirts and a parka, and handed me our son in a short sleeve cotton onesie I wanted to hit you and ask "WTF are you STUPID?"

Confession #168

Much as I love sex with you, it's better with the lights off because if
I'm pretending you're someone else, I can also pretend I'm looking into
his eyes.

Confession #169

I really loved it when you used to work out of town. I could go and do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to without checking with the "head office", without putting up with your pissing and moaning. I could tolerate it when you started working intown, enjoying at least the daytime to myself, but now that you are home all the time, I am about to lose my mind. The only time I have for ME is the 30 minute drive to and from work. I am really sorry you hurt your back, but I am REALLY sick of hearing the whole damn scenario for the 5,000th time, complete with all the details of how much pain you are in.You act like no one in the world has ever experienced your pain--hell, you are zoned out on morphine so much of time, it's a wonder you know what pain is. And wash a dish? Pick up your dirty socks? That would cut into your free time, wouldn't it? And don't think that that I mind that the medicine has given you ED---It is a welcome excuse for me not to have to make it with a slob like you. It's been 34 years of torture pretending that you turn me on. I should get an Oscar for the acting job I have given. You never have known that you don't do it for me!

Confession #170

We are in love. Deeply, madly, painfully. Our souls are one in the
same. When we are in different physical locations, our souls are
still united and we are together. We get it.

We will never be together. Ever. Why? Because I married you. I love
you. I always have and always will. The love I have for you is
secure and it is comfortable. It is easy. You are an amazing father
to our son and the kind of husband that women wish for.

You are just not him. I never knew that the mad passionate love that
the movies extol existed. He has become apart of our family. He is
the best friend to my brothers and a son my parents have adopted as
one of their own. He is in our lives daily. I love him, I love him,
I love him.

I love you too. Just differently. I will be with you forever. I will
never leave you and I will never physically betray you. I will fight
my heart and mind and keep you in the forefront and not him. You
deserve the promises I made to you on our wedding day and you will
get them. I wish I could tell you every now and then when you ask me
what's wrong that my heart is hurting and it's fighting for you.

Every holiday, birthday, family vacation, celebration, I wish I
could tell you that I will be fully enjoying our family. Me, you, and
our son. I know that I will be looking across the room at him and his
girlfriend and he will meet my eyes and something unspoken will pass
between us. It will always be there.

He has my soul and you have my heart. I love you and I am committed
to you. You are the hero in my life. He never will be. As much as I
hate that, I find comfort in you.

I love you.

27 comments:

Nicole said...

Damn these things are addicting to read!

PerfidiousOne said...

Yes! Very Addicting. #167 had me laughing out loud.

From ABD to a Life said...

yes even for a husband ... I keep thinking is that me?

>^,,^ said...

#164 could be me though it's usually while I'm cooking. I try to equate it to me coming up to him while he's soldering a plumbing joint and grabbing his ass. I can't believe he didn't think of it in that way. I know cooking's not "work" per se, but I'm busy doing something that's beneficial.

KAT said...

Confession 170 is absolutely beautiful. After all the confessions from wives who despise their husbands' behavior, it's nice to read one from one who calls her husband her hero. How lucky for her to have found love twice when some people never find it at all.

Reiza-Mara said...

#170: Wow. That's really all I can say. Just wow.

Anonymous said...

#170 is amazing. Could almost have been written by me.

Andrea said...

#170 is stunning. To have such love and still be so conflicted. Two different kind of loves. Wow. Although I'm a little sad for her that both aren't all rolled up into one person so her heart could rest easy and not have to fight.

Anonymous said...

#170-I wish I had her strength and selflessness.

Eva said...

#170 nearly made me cry. You're not the only one, honey!

Anonymous said...

#170 said so many things that I am thinking and feeling. What a comfort to know that I'm not the only one with these issues. Of course, many of the anger-filled remarks are equally as eerily relatable to my experience.

Joanna said...

#170- I agree totally

Anonymous said...

164 & 165 had me ROLLIN!!!! LOL!!

Anonymous said...

I could have written 170. Although I often wonder if I would be as strong as her. If given the chance I would remain as faithful to my husband who I do love dearly. I have loved him for 10 years. Ive been with my husband 7 of them.

ChoosingJoy said...

You know, I'm getting both entertainment AND education from this blog! I'm trying to apply what I'm learning, and it's working! (I even posted about it!)

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

#170 - what could you say if your husband suspected that that was what was bothering you? because you still love him in that way, you don't want to hurt him..

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm reading 170 wrong since people seem to find it so "touching" and "beautiful." I find it incredibly sad. No, she's not cheating physically, but she is definitely doing so emotionally. I'm not trying to fault her, but she's exalted for being so strong. Is she really that strong?

Anonymous said...

Okay, I made the 5:12pm comment and have something else to say. Sounds like she is with him out of pity. Would he want her pity love if he knew how she really felt? If the roles where reversed and a man was saying these things about his wife, he'd be villified.

Anonymous said...

I do think that 170 is also beautiful. It's raw and truthful. Life sucks sometimes and shithappens. This woman can't help that she feels this way.

In response to all three anonymous':
I am sure she isn't telling her husband because she knows it would hurt him. I think that was obvious.

2. In terms of the emotional cheating, it seems like she is fighting pretty hard to not let that happen. I think it's honorable that she is staying honorable to her vows. Something not done today. It's easy to not have a physical affair, but a lot harder to not have an emotional one. I think she def. should be honored for trying to do her best to stay in love with her husband.

3. I don't think it's out of pity because she tells him she loves him and that he is her hero.

This just hits close to home for me and I feel storingly about it. My husband had an affair similar to this and if he had said the things to me that this woman is saying to her husband it would have helped. Knowing he was trying hard to love me through some pain with the hopes that the other love would resolve maybe might have helped me heal. We worked through it and went to a year of counseling. the hurt I experienced had a lot to do with him not even trying to remember what we promised each other on our wedding day. He asked why I wanted to stay with him despite him not being in love with me that way anymore. I made a promise. I keep my promises. We worked through it and he says now he can't believe he almost lost me.

I commend her for fighting.

Allison said...

Good lord # 170...been there. Sometimes the forbidden fruit is so much sweeter when you can't taste it, then again sometimes when you finally give in, it it sweeter then you ever imagined. Not that you asked for my opinion, but I believe if you are looking at someone else for things your husband doesn't give you (especially something so deep as your soul), then you shouldn't be with your husband. Being with the right person means that he has all that you need and want to keep you with him. I'm no fool - I know you can be attracted to someone else or even have a harmless flirtation, but if it ever goes further than that, you need to seriously rethink the relationship you're in, whether you've been together for a year or thirty - you deserve to have complete peace and happiness with the person you love!

Anonymous said...

170...Sometimes you just have to wait for the timing to be better...at least
that's where I am right now.

I love my husband, but the other man - the one I watch and he watches me and we both know that we missed our chance? xwnpmg

I'm pretty sure the right time will come someday.

Anonymous said...

This is the best blog I've read in a LONG TIME! (And I read blogs a lot) I laughed, cried, and gasped!!! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Amen to 170. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Anonymous said...

#170. Love your confession. I am a husband but I'm going through exactly the same as you...

Nick said...

And this is why i will never get married... why put your trust in someone when 90% of the time your trust gets broken? some of these "confessions" really made me sad. bachelor for life!

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 22 years. and I commend anyone that is willing to take the rough road, life is not easy and some times you have to suck it up and deal. My wife had an affair. Let me back up . I married my wife because she got preagant at 17 and I was raised up to do the right thing. 5 years latter I found out she had an affair that went on for most of a year during year 3 of the marriage.But by this time we had 3 kids , so for the sake of my kids I swallowed my pride and stayed. Now we have been married for 22 years, and yes it still hurts and I really dont love her any more but she will never know that. I may not be the most happest person in the world but at the end of the day when I'm gone I can look down from the heavens and say I DID MY BEST. I have three happy well rounded kids and a happy wife that never knew that I could not forgive her. That is my burden to carey.
P.S. this is the first time to ever tell this story to anyone.

elena said...

I came here because I am dealing with issues in my marriage. My husband told me years ago that he appreciated the wifely qualities in me but that he did not have any passion for me. This resulted in him having several emmotional affairs. He now says that it is all in the past and he is in love with me. We have 3 kids, he is a wonderful father and a great person.I feel like I have been cheated out of the chance to have true love, I long to know what it feels like to have a man who loves me erotically and not be with me simply because he wants to be true to his vows.This is leading me to be in a situation like #170.