Thursday, July 20, 2006

True Wife Confession Level 25

Confession #241

If you do not stop smoking as you promised me 8 years ago, I will leave you. Since we found out you have to quit smoking for us to have a baby, I will NOT waste my life waiting for you to stop smoking so I can have a child. There are many men out there that would love to have a child with me. If you don't stop, I will walk out on you. And YES, I am right on the verge!

Confession #242

You don't know how I want to hit you when you make that stupid, goony, idiotic looking face that you think is so funny. You've been doing it our entire married life and I HATE it!


Confession #243

Why do you keep bitching at me about getting a job? Do you not realise that we have 5 children, and that is my job? My day starts half and hour before yours, and I don't get the benefit of regular breaks. I care for all 5 kids, clean the house, cook the meals, do your laundry. You come home, and go straight to the kitchen to fix your plate. Never mind the fact that I'm standing there feeding babies, and I'm always the last person to eat, usually eating while I'm cleaning up the kitchen. Then you retire to your chair while I bathe babies, and you watch tv. I put kids to bed, and then you decide its time to complain that I'm not giving "it" up enough. Then we go to bed, only I'm up another 2 or 3 times a night with the little one, while you snore and roll into my spot....yet on top of all this, I'm supposed to go get a job..you're an ass.

Confession #244

I purposefully play passive/aggressive with you: it's what makes our marriage work. Sometime when I say things like "Man, I smell.", "I forgot to brush my teeth today.",or "I really need to [insert household chore here]." I really mean you. I'm sorry that I play this game with you, but if I come right out and say what I want, you get all pissy. This way I let you think that you had an original thought or that you're doing me a favor and we both win.

Another thing, when I say "I'm sorry that I'm not that good at sex."... yeah, I mean you again.

Confession #245

Why is it that I am expected to instantly forgive and forget when you screw up big time but you act like I've betrayed you if I make even the smallest mistake? Then you hold it against me for days or even weeks. I used to be perfectly willing to forgive and forget, and I have forgiven you for some huge things and never brought it up again, but after years of you refusing to do the same I just resent you more and more and find it harder and harder to forgive you for anything. And all of those things that I just let slide before, things that I had let go of long ago, are actually coming back to me and are becoming important to me again. And I hate you for it sometimes.

Confession #246

Sometimes when my girlfriends are complaining about their husbands, I nod my head and make something up about how my husband never picks up his socks. Really he’s perfectly handsome, smart, sexy, and motivated and he loves me to bits. I just feel bad bragging about it in the face of my poor friends' marital problems.

Confession #247

dear husband
I love you and our children. I don't mind cleaning up
after them but you are a grown man and more then
capable of putting your things away and cleaning up
after YOURSELF.
I'm not asking you do change diapers, do laundry,
clean up spilled juice or wash dishes--just put away
the lemonade after you pour a glass (or drink out of
the container as the case may be) take you dishes to
the kitchen sink, please don't leave them next to you
recliner; sometimes playing children knock them over,
the contents may spill or the dish may break.
Please put your dirty clothes in the laundry room so
that I can wash them, I am tired of finding dirty
socks and shirts under the furniture.
Please don't complain about the house being messy when
I've been outside mowing and raking all afternoon. I
can't be in 2 places at once.
And finally, I cannot read your mind-don't make faces
and complain about dinner when you are asked what
you'd like and tell me you don't care or say whatever.
just shut it and eat the damn lasagna.
love, your cranky wife

Confession #248

Yes, you designed and oversaw the construction of this big beautiful house
that we live in and I love you for it, but sometimes you fail to remember
that it was my credit and financial strength that made the financing
possible. Your credit was jacked up when we met, remember.

Confession #249

How is it that you can manage and supervise an 80 man crew in building 10
million dollars complex, but you can not get 2 little 5 year olds to pick up
their toys in their room? HUH? Why is that such a hard task?


Confession #250

Why is okay for your "little girls" to cry themselves to sleep when you want
to get busy, but when I am trying to get things ready for the next day I
should stop and pick them up?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG #241. I'm so glad I'm not the only one in this position. I'm right with you. My husbad was supposed to quit 8 years ago. I told him I wouldn't even date him if he smoked. He's lied to me about it for all of these years & I've busted him countles times. Now that we have a 6 month old, it's quit or call us quits. He knows how serious I am & so far, so good. I hope your husband takes you & your family seriously too. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

#245 could be me!

Anonymous said...

#245 could be me, too! There's comfort in knowing we're not alone in this, lol.

Anonymous said...

#243 - call a day care provider and find out what it will cost you to pay someone else to watch those 5 kids. I don't know anyone who makes more than what 5 kids in day care would cost.

Anonymous said...

#246 I feel the same way. I am so f-ing lucky my husband married me. He could have done way better. And either he doesn't KNOW he could have done better or he knows and just never lets on. How can I complain about him? But at a certain point, I feel if I keep praising him to my friends they're going to throw up on me.

Izzy said...

Grrrr....I read these and I get so annoyed for the women that have to put up with such selfish, lazy jackasses.

And to the woman who has 5 kids... you're an amazing superwoman/goddess. He should be bowing down and kissing your feet for working so hard.

Everyone commented anonymously here. Is that a rule? Hope not 'cause I'm about to break it if it is :)

Anonymous said...

#246...

I can relate as well. My husband rocks. He's considerate, romantic, a wonderful father, a great provider and damn sexy too. I won the husband lottery.

Elizabeth said...

#243-Yet another reminder why I love my husband.

And I never realized how many women are married to men who don't shower or brush their teeth. That is just gross, and sad.

Anonymous said...

#246 is beautiful.

Belinda said...

Um...is it wrong that I'm wishing that #247 could somehow be MY wife? I'm straight, but I'd just love to have the help, and she sounds AMAZING.

Anonymous said...

I could have written #246. I am very thankful about that.

Anonymous said...

#243 - honey - you are amazing. 5 kids?? all by yourself?? your husband is an ass if he doesn't kiss the ground that you walk on. If he doesn't realize or appreciate the contribution you make to your family, he's delusional.

Anonymous said...

I could've written #246, too!! So many of my friends are miserable in their marriages, and there are times that I actually feel GUILTY that my husband is so wonderful!!