Friday, July 21, 2006

True Wife Confession 26 maple martinis on the wall

Confession #251

The reason I cut you off and finish your sentences sometimes in public is
to keep you from sounding like an idiot

Confession #252

I am in love with someone else and SHE does things to me that you could never imagine!!!

Confession #253

I could never tell you, but I don't like having sex with you anymore. I don't find you attractive. When we have sex I close my eyes and think of someone else, perhaps a famous someone.

Confession #254

I think you are a closet gay...no sex for several years is one thing but your interest in pre nubile females and your too long hugs of any zipper skinny woman
give you away...go ahead find a male lover because I don't give a shit what you do anymore.

Confession #255

After nearly 12 years of being married when will you learn that when you
insist on blowing my back out at 4am in the morning, I will not be up at
5:30 to make you breakfast before you leave for work.

Confession #256

I know that I don't get out by myself all that often, but when I do, I expect the same things that you expect. You want to come home to a clean house, as well as kids that have been fed, bathed, and are either ready for bed or have been put to bed for the night. I do not enjoy walking in the door and seeing my nice clean living room trashed beyond recognition. I do not enjoy walking in the door with three baskets of wet clothes (because you won't get off your lazy ass and fix the washing machine) and being told that I have to give the kids a bath at 10pm. I do not enjoy being told that I'm not doing my job because the house doesn't meet showroom standards while you sit on your ass and play computer games all day long. I'm not your mother, your maid, or your children's nanny. You really shouldn't be surprised that I'm in the mood only once a month, if that.

Confession #257

You are not now, nor ever, going to have your own business again as a graphic artist. You have no skills for that. Suck it up and be happy you have a job at Home Depot.

Confession #258

I hate having sex with you! It used to be wonderful, but lately, not so much. Because I would like a little love and tenderness. I would like to feel as if I were loved and cherished. I am tired of nothing but dirty talk. I don't need to be told what a dirty bad girl I am each and every time. I don't want to hear your every kinky fantasy. Especially because I know that you have acted them out online many times before, and are using those fantasies to get off with me. It hurts. It hurts alot. Is it any wonder that I don't ever want to have sex with you?

Confession #259

There are so many things about you that I cannot stand. Your breath is terrible, you stink b/c you don't shower every day. You are so arrogant and stubborn it makes me want to hit you. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You bitch about money but don't hesitate to buy something that you want. Your whole family is nuts. But the worst thing of all is I hate the kind of father you are. Your children get more attention from you when they are being disciplined than any other time. And it drives me crazy that you always feel the need to jump in when I am trying to discipline. No wonder they don't listen to me. You never give them a chance. I think your parents are lazy and selfish and so are you.

Confession #260

I want to hear that you love me, that you miss me, and that you think of me at all. I don't want to ramble about stupid shit. I want to know I'm dealing with all this insanity for a reason. I tell you all the time how much I love you. Why can't I get even a fraction of that in return? Sometimes I wonder if you love me-if you ever loved me because you never even say, "I love you," unless I say it first. Do you really? What do you love about me, then? Why can't you just freaking talk to me?

8 comments:

Mama-Beans said...

#251.... Oh my God. I SO hear you! I even find myself re-telling his stories in a way that makes him seem like less of a goof. Dear, you were speeding and ran a red light. It's not funny and not something to brag about. No one else thinks cops are bad guys that are out to pick on you. When I follow behind you at family gatherings I tell them that the person in front of you stopped in the intersection and that's why the light was red when you went through it. now shut up before they think you're any more immature.

Anonymous said...

#259...I feel you! I could have written this myself. My husband is so selfish. He will buy himself or get something done for himself without even thinking twice about me. He'll even get his car fixed before mine!!! And he sucks at being a dad 95% of the time! He doesn't know it yet...but Im gone!

Anonymous said...

#256- Yes what IS that? My husband goes out of town for whole extended periods of time, and I absolutely shudder to think what the house or the kids would look like if I did that... like a fucking fraternity house is what, and the kids would have turned into vampires w/ the sleeping schedule he'd have them on. And yet if we are both home and if our kids are up past 9:00, he starts ordering me around like a fucking sargeant, because apparently child rearing is only my responsibility and his only job is to criticize me. WTF ever, dude. Discipline YOURSELF, then you can get to the rest of us- how about that?

Anonymous said...

#254: Sounds like your husband isn't gay, but is into little girls, which in my book a lot scarier.

Anonymous said...

#256...Wow, that is my story too. Mine is the most selfish, arrogant little prick, and i all got as a by product of it is less self respect and dignity. He puts more time and money into restoring his precious car than his little boy, or this home. i've lost myself because of this fucker, and he and his lack of respect are without a doubt a product of his low-class family and upbringing.

Anonymous said...

sorry, i meant #259...

Anonymous said...

253...I could have said that myself..He is so fat his boobs are bigger then mine now and then he wants me to suck them..They are like a womans with hair.
He asks me if I think hes fat..Um no..Your almost 300 pounds fat ass what do you think?
And then I should lose weight cause I know guys won der why you are with me and laugh..Yeah, well I'm laughing with you fat ass.

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