Thursday, July 06, 2006

True Wife Confessions 13th edition, at Crystal Lake

Confession #121

After you left your wife to be with me, you somehow, mysteriously, turned me into her. So I left you and found myself.

Confession #122

I know you've forgiven your mother for leaving you as a child, but I will always hate her for it. And although I may seem charming when she's around, all I can think about is slapping her face. She doesn't deserve to have a son like you.

Confession #123

It's astounding to me that you can get all pissy and pouty like a 5 year old who's mother has said No treats when I say no most every morning to your daily request of "wanna be on top". You have turned sex into yet another chore I must do in order to keep peace in the house. And then when I decide I'm ready for some lovin' ... you punish me for not having been "on top" that morning and we BOTH go without pleasure. And I thought I was the high-maintenance one!

Confession #124

Sometimes I read your e-mail, especially the ones from the female high school friend you keep in touch with. It hurts me to know how many of our marriage problems you share with her, but I don't have the guts to tell you what I know.

Confession #125

My parents think we have the perfect marriage because I never talk to them about you and you never see them. If that changed, they'd probably hate you.

Confession #126

I have no idea how you got into medical school, much less graduated, with your lousy work eithic.

Confession #127

We both know that it is my job and salary that has carried us for years. I just know that it would deflate your manly ego if we acknowledged that I am the main earner. I allow you to have your own business, but my patience is growing very, very thin.

Confession #128

Sometimes I don't think that I'm in love with you. Sometimes I think it's a waste of both of our time for us to still be married. However, most of the time, I still think of you as a good friend, so I think I'll remain married for now. I'm worried that it will be just friendship for the rest of our lives though. I'm not sure if I can live with that.

Confession #129

I know you don't think I'm serious about leaving you if we don't get back into counseling. For the record, I've never been more serious.

Confession #130

If God forbid, something happened to you. I don't think our son would ever see your family again. They are overly judgemental and mean and I cringe when they just touch him.


Anonymous said...

Wooo... #127 is gonna make me ask somebody to hold my mule.

Hmmph I have a few confessions to add dammit.

Anonymous said...

#124 makes me want to cry. I hope you can talk to him.

Anonymous said...

yes dawn, thanks for bringing me back here. Not whiney unproductive stuff at all. I relate to a few of those actually and feel terribly comforted to know I am not alone.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! At Crystal Lake!?!

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Her! Her! Her! Her! (Jason's gonna get you...)

Anonymous said...

This blog has become one of my guilty pleasures. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one out here thinking some of these very same things.

Anonymous said...

#123 is fucking ridiculous. I'm not saying you should spread your legs at every whim, but come the fuck on. This is nothing more than a powerplay and you know it. And then you wonder why men cheat.

Cindylou said...

anyone else think anonymous is a man?

Anonymous said...

#124 is so sad. I regret reading it.