Confession #641
I hate my Husband. I hate that he doesn't give a shit about me or our son. I should have known by the way he acted towards his other son when I first met him. He didn't call him or try to see him. We have been married 2 years and I left him on our 2nd anniversary. He hasn't called to check on us or even sent money. When I do talk to him he is cold and unforgiving. I threw something at him.. He in return tried to choke me. I called the Cops, Now he cant forgive ME?!? FORGIVE ME?!? He said I tried to take his life away.. WHAT LIFE? He didn't hang around us when he was home.. Oh I know what life he is talking about.. The one where he plays video games and drinks with his buddies instead of staying home and spending time with his wife and son. That life. He is hiding something.. I cant put my finger on it. But he is pawning things for money, money that I never see and then lying to me about where the items were going.. The bills were not getting paid and the food was running out, but where was the money going.. There were 2 times in one month that he "lost" or "got stolen" Money. Big money too not just 20's. I hate him and I am glad we are apart. I secretly wish he would go to jail and I would never have to see him again.
Confession #642
I am not 10 years old. I am a grown adult. Quit telling me to get some sleep or to go to bed or anything even remotely like that. I will go to bed when I damn well want to. I like to stay up late, long after you are in bed because that is the only time I don't have any one wanting anything from me. It is the time when I get the alone time I so desperately need. I know that I am going to be tired in the morning but I am a big girl and can deal with it. Do you hear me complain that I am tired? Nope. You whine more about being tired than I do, so stuff it!
Confession #643
I love your family. They are the kindest people I have ever met and I feel I relate to them more than I do to my own parents. However, they are content to just BE. They never made an attempt to better themselves, to have more than what they have. Their financial situation blows my mind. How they can live the way they do stuns me sometimes. I realize your desire to help them out and give them things they cannot afford for themselves, but honestly-they've got a nicer TV, surround sound, and living room set than we do-and we paid for it. When I am scrounging through the change jar and checking under the couch cushions for change to buy milk...There is seriously something wrong with this picture. GROW UP AND STOP TRYING TO MAKE THEM LOVE YOU MORE. THEY LOVE YOU. They'd love you even if you didn't have a pot to piss in-which, right now, we don't...Thanks to you taking care of everyone else's responsibilities instead of your own.
Confession #644
I am not a wife, but I see what my sister is going through. He can be a nice guy, but has over time become selfish, immature, wildly irresponsible with money and totally distanced from his wife and little boy. She deserves better. So does my nephew. I look at their marriage and realize the best thing for thing for all of them would be divorce. But she is afraid to be on her own and he is too lazy. So, they all suffer and I don't know how to help, except to listen and comfort her as best I can.
Confession #645
You claim to like my parents. Yet every time they want to get together with us or have us over it is a HUGE inconvenience for you. And it isn't like they live 20 min from us and just drop in all the time like they do to my brother and his wife. They live 5 hours away! You get pissed when they are in town and want to take us out to dinner. You get pissed if I want us to spend more than 48 hours at their house. You get pissed when my dad offers to come over on the weekend and do all the home repair stuff that you never get to. (Just so you know, I suspect that you never get to it because I don't know how to do it. Which is fine, but for christsakes, we own a home, maintenance is part of the deal. WORK IT OUT!!!) My dad was willing to drive 5 HOURS EACH WAY to come over and bust his ass on our house. You couldn't be bothered because you didn't feel like "entertaining him" all weekend. I don't think he needs much entertaining when he is fixing the roof, the plumbing in the master bathroom, the wiring in the kitchen (by the way, 3 years of no overhead lights in the kitchen? OLD.) and repairing the stuff that the contractor fucked up on the remodel.
My parents think you hate them. I am starting to think they are right. And I don't know why you would. They have been nothing but kind to you. They have tried to get to know you . You just hold them at arms length. I don't know why. I am starting to not care. I love my family. You knew that before we got married. I am tired of sacrificing time with them for you, just because I don't care for them. Grow up.
Confession #646
I love you, but more and more I'm realizing that you're just a fuck-up. I've told you to quit drinking about a million times. I've told you what I want, what will make me happy. You act like you'll do things, like you understand... but you just keep fucking up. You make up stupid lies. Wonder why I don't want to have kids yet? Because I don't want them to have to live with an alcoholic dad like you did. You'd think you would've learned from the way he fucked up your family. I know marriage is supposed to be forever, but I have no problem leaving you if you don't straighten up... and you know this. I'm too smart for this crap. I deserve better than a white trash existence. I will get what I want. I'm not ashamed of divorce. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm going to make myself happy. I used to think that meant being with you, but you've been spending the past several months proving me wrong. You're running out of chances. I'll have no problem finding someone better. If not? I'll just go to a sperm bank and have kids on my own. I don't need you.
Confession #647
Two years ago today we were driving to my Dad's funeral and the hospital was calling because there was nothing else to do with my terminally ill (cancer) brother and they wanted to release him and wanted me to get a hospital bed at that moment. I was trying to figure out how to quit my new job and take care of him. After a 6 hour drive, we arrived at the hotel and there was no place to park and you made a huge scene because the Saints had taken up all the parking spaces and you kept using the n word. I begged you to get back in the car and act normal. I hated you so much in that moment because I was at the end of my mind and you were stepping on my fingers as I was hanging on. You have never apologized for your SELFISH childish alcoholic behavior. If you ever do the steps, I hope you will include an apology for that day. I am waiting for it.
Confession #648
I broke up today with the man I have been having an online affair with for the past five months. You can tell that I am sad about something, but don't know what it is. I wish that I could have the passion that I feel for him - the passion I have felt for him since I was 20 years old, but have never felt for you. You are an amazing father and honestly? The best husband a woman like me could ask for...You give me freedom to be who I am, pursue my career, indulge my whims, but have I ever been in love with you? No. I married you because he had broken my heart so badly that I never wanted to feel that again. I chose you. Someone dependable, someone safe - who would never get to my heart in the same way.
You are a good man, but I am not and have never been in love with you. Our marriage is built on intelligence and compatibility and our child. And when you tell me that you are committed to the concept of marriage, regardless of being committed to me? I wonder if you feel the same way.
Confession #649
I hate your whole family. I have tried to like them, but they seem to prefer your ex girlfriend and your first son over me-your WIFE and our son. I hate that they don't buy our son things-for Christmas for his birthday for any reason. Your first son gets sneakers clothes and toys every month from them. They have him every weekend, whereas WE can't even see him. They call him, they don't call to see how our son is doing, even if they know we were at the hospital for some reason. I hate your family, but I love you. I'm glad you didn't turn out like them.
Confession #650
You have no idea how much I loved you but I was 18, what did I know? You verbally abused me only 6 months into our relationship but it was 1973, I'd never even heard the words "verbal and emotional abuse." I thought I loved you enough to change you. How wrong I was. I stayed with you for 22 years because I was afraid of raising our 2 sons alone. But I finally made the break and divorced you and what did you do? You've punished me for the last 12 years for it. You've punished me because I make more money than you. In punishing me, you've hurt our sons immeasurably. You'll never know how much they despise the person that you've turned into. You've hurt our younger son more than the older one because your love still means something to him. But he's 19, he'll wise up one day and you won't even have him. You will die a lonely old man because your heart is cold. When I have called you begging for your help with our youngest, you told me "this is what you wanted, deal with it." You have put your own selfish hurt first. You've never once thought that I had a good reason to divorce your stupid selfish pessimistic abusive ass. Well guess what? Remember all those years after you re-married because you got her pregnant and she wisely divorced you after less than a year and she would throw your sorry ass in jail if you didn't pay her so you didn't pay me? Well, the attorney general's office will be notifying your cheap ass soon because I'm suing you for back child support. This is what I want, now you'll have to deal with it.
You think I despise you because of what went on in our marriage. It's been 12 years you idiot, I have put all that WAY behind me. The reason I despise you is because of the way you have treated our sons since our divorce. You put your own agenda first, which is getting me back for divorcing you. Our younger son's drug problem is all about you isn't it? All you think about is how much it hurts YOU that he has a drug problem. You don't think about the torment he goes through being an addict--something he didn't choose. (And stop already with the catty comments that he gets his addiction problem from MY side of the family. Thank God I got him away from you before he got the idea that verbally abusing women is OK.)
And our older son being gay is all about you too isn't it? All you think about is how ashamed you are to admit to people that you have a gay son. (And your inappropriate comments just show how ignorant you really are by the way.) You don't think about what he goes through living his life as a gay man in our society. He didn't choose to be gay, why would anyone do that? You don't think about the torment HE went through before he ever came out to you or anyone else. You are so cellulose, none this has even crossed that piece of shit you have for a mind.
Oh and one more thing. Thanks to your neglect of our sons for the last 12 years, I have had to be there for them financially, emotionally and physically almost completely on my own. Now that they are grown, I have a very strong bond and a wonderful relationship with them that I probably wouldn't have had if I had stayed married to the likes of you. That's been the best part of our divorce. You think I turned them against you. That just shows you how stupid you really are.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
True Wife Confessions 64 positions in the Kama Sutra
Confession #631
To my husband,
I love you, but life with you is really hard. Maybe I am just being selfish or naive. Someone flirted with me the other day. I loved it. I fantasize about about life would be like with them.
Being a step-mom, and dealing with their moms is tough. Dealing with your moms involvement with one of them is even worse. I know you and everyone Else is just doing what is best for the kids. Isn't growing up in a happy home with dad important too?
I stopped my infertility treatments this month. I do not think it is right to bring a baby in to the world when I am unsure. I am so mad. If those women who had your babies after knowing all of minute had the same sense I do I would not be agonizing over all this right now! How dare they get to do what ever they want, and then complain to us when things did not work out how they wanted it to. Thanks to all of you I suffer too!
I am so glad I ripped up your football tickets.
Confession #632
Remember that first awful month after I first found out about her? Remember when you crawled into bed with me, and told me how sorry you were that you'd hurt me, how much you loved me, and what were we going to do to fix it, then said you were going to see her again?
When I had my morning poo the next day, I stirred it around the toilet with your toothbrush.
I wasn't sorry one bit, and I'm still not.
Confession #633
You are the most amazing husband and father. You do more around the house than I do. You make dinner every night so I can sit and nurse the baby comfortably. You go to work every day so that we can have a nice home and I can stay home with our kids. But OH. MY. GOD. You're fucking snoring is sending me over the edge. PLEASE lose 10 pounds like the doctor told you to do 3 years ago. Our 8 week old is sleeping through the night but your snoring keeps me up. I really can't take it anymore.
Confession #634
I want nothing more than to beat this addiction. I can't describe how
much I love you for sticking with me through all these years of self
abuse. All the times I've resolved to get better and all the failed
attempts. I've broken so many promises to you. I worry that I'm
ruining your life. I wish I knew how to beat this so I could grow old
with you. I don't want to die.
Confession #635
When I started talking to you 8 years ago you were the sweetest man I knew.
When I went through rough times you were always there. Eventually I came
around to loving you and wanting to be with you. So 3 1/2 years ago I moved
350 miles from my family, friends and everything I knew to be with you. I
was scared but I knew you would get me through it. The first year we were
married was wonderful. You were loving and sweet. Then we started trying to
have a baby and realized that without serious assistance I couldn't have a
child. But to give you the baby you wanted I went through hell and back with
fertility treatments and such, all for you. I wanted it so badly, to make
you happy. But it just wasn't working. Through all of this I never
complained when you refused to go get checked out to see if you might be
part of the problem. It didn't occur to me that maybe even though you
constantly said you did that you really didn't want to have a baby with me.
You didn't love me enough to go plain and simple. And even when I had the
opportunities to cheat on you I didn't. I loved you and couldn't break your
trust that way. Obviously you didn't feel the same about me. Even when I
found out about your girlfriend I loved you enough and wanted to make it
work enough to forgive you. Well it didn't stop there. You just couldn't let
her go. You couldn't be happy with me and ended up screwing up my life,
getting me thrown in jail for assault... yes your WIFE beat you up, I
seriously hope you have trouble living with that fact. Then you didn't even
have the guts to talk to me about divorce, you just filed and never
mentioned it. My lawyer had to tell me you had filed. But for that I have to
thank you. You got what you deserved, your girlfriend wouldn't leave her
husband for you, you lost your job because I wasn't there to wake you up in
the mornings and your family still loves me. I bet that drives you crazy. I
hear you are getting married again, and my one piece of advice to your
future wife... good luck.. she's going to need it. And I just wanted you to
know that the man I am with now, is more of a man than you could ever be.
He's younger, sweeter, better looking, he treats me like a woman should be
treated and I'm happy for the first time in a long time. And that's all I
have to say.
Confession #636
Don't act like you are a huge martyr for canceling the premium movie channels on our cable. You never watched them, anyway. We were spending an extra $50 a month for the comfort of you knowing you 'could' watch a movie anytime you wanted to. What a waste of money. You bitch about the cost of our internet access-well, at least I use it. DAILY. I can't remember the last time you sat and watched a movie on cable.
Confession #637
When will you realize that charity begins in the home? You are more generous to others than you are to us. You buy concert tickets for friends, knowing full well we don't have the money in our budget. You offer to help finance your sister's move, and when it fell through, who was out the money for her security deposit and first month's rent? You feel bad for her-I get that. She's a single mom with a piece of shit for an ex...But that does not mean we should simply hand over all that we have and put ourselves in the poorhouse. If it were just you and I, maybe I'd be more ok with it...But we have a child. We have to buy food and diapers for her, and keep a roof over our head. You seem to feel the need to put everyone else first, so that they will love you and like you and appreciate you. You have a wife and daughter who love you, like you, and appreciate you for all you are and all that you try to be...Why is that not enough for you? Why do you feel the need to save the world at the expense of your family?
Confession #638
I should have married for money. You have no concept of how much things cost, nor do you care. You drain our bank account far too often and leave us in the hole. I am so sick of it. You wonder where the money goes, and when I show you how many ATM withdrawals you have made in the past two weeks, you get a confused look on your face-and then "Oh, yeah, I needed money to do...(insert stupid reason here)". And then you blame me for our credit problems. Well, maybe our credit would not be so shitty if you've leave some fucking money in the bank so that I could pay the damn bills and not keep paying insufficient funds fees. I should have stuck with that guy my mom wanted me to marry. He had tons of money.
Confession #639
You work 7 days a week up to 14 hours a day and it makes me sick to my stomach that I can not work, or even get a job that would cover day care for our two beautiful baby girls and still earn enough to help out our finances.
You are one of the most strongest people I have ever known. We have your sister and 5y/o niece living with us now and I see the stress it causes, oh my gosh I see it and yet you still try to make it a good situation for all and become the ring leader in every fight.
You work until your weak and still come home, the first words I hear are "how was your day, is there anything I can do" I love how considerate you are.
When you do get a day off, you spend it helping around the house which I never even have to ask for. You dote on our daughters and you love me more than any person I have ever known.
I love how no matter how much stress you are under, you still take the time to tell me how beautiful I am and play with your girls.
Your a damn hard worker and a damn good provider, and my hero. You gave me every reason to live and being with us is the most beautiful blessing, I'll never be able to thank God enough.
Thank you for these beautiful 4 years so far, Thank you being patient and understanding and devoted. Thank you for being the most wonderful father I have ever seen. I have never known a man to dote on two babies as much as you do, and still snuggle with his wife and help do chores.
Man I am blessed. I love you so so much I can't even describe.
Yes you have negatives, so do I, but by gosh your positives outweigh all.
Confession #640
If you want to own a home of our own someday, STOP WASTING MONEY. STOP buying shit we don't need. STOP buying DVDs. STOP going to concerts and shows. STOP ordering take-out at lunch when I pack a perfectly good lunch for you to take to work. STOP trying to keep up with everyone else around us...Nobody's dumb enough to think we actually have money. You just look like an idiot when you offer to buy a round at the bar, because everyone knows you really can't afford it.
To my husband,
I love you, but life with you is really hard. Maybe I am just being selfish or naive. Someone flirted with me the other day. I loved it. I fantasize about about life would be like with them.
Being a step-mom, and dealing with their moms is tough. Dealing with your moms involvement with one of them is even worse. I know you and everyone Else is just doing what is best for the kids. Isn't growing up in a happy home with dad important too?
I stopped my infertility treatments this month. I do not think it is right to bring a baby in to the world when I am unsure. I am so mad. If those women who had your babies after knowing all of minute had the same sense I do I would not be agonizing over all this right now! How dare they get to do what ever they want, and then complain to us when things did not work out how they wanted it to. Thanks to all of you I suffer too!
I am so glad I ripped up your football tickets.
Confession #632
Remember that first awful month after I first found out about her? Remember when you crawled into bed with me, and told me how sorry you were that you'd hurt me, how much you loved me, and what were we going to do to fix it, then said you were going to see her again?
When I had my morning poo the next day, I stirred it around the toilet with your toothbrush.
I wasn't sorry one bit, and I'm still not.
Confession #633
You are the most amazing husband and father. You do more around the house than I do. You make dinner every night so I can sit and nurse the baby comfortably. You go to work every day so that we can have a nice home and I can stay home with our kids. But OH. MY. GOD. You're fucking snoring is sending me over the edge. PLEASE lose 10 pounds like the doctor told you to do 3 years ago. Our 8 week old is sleeping through the night but your snoring keeps me up. I really can't take it anymore.
Confession #634
I want nothing more than to beat this addiction. I can't describe how
much I love you for sticking with me through all these years of self
abuse. All the times I've resolved to get better and all the failed
attempts. I've broken so many promises to you. I worry that I'm
ruining your life. I wish I knew how to beat this so I could grow old
with you. I don't want to die.
Confession #635
When I started talking to you 8 years ago you were the sweetest man I knew.
When I went through rough times you were always there. Eventually I came
around to loving you and wanting to be with you. So 3 1/2 years ago I moved
350 miles from my family, friends and everything I knew to be with you. I
was scared but I knew you would get me through it. The first year we were
married was wonderful. You were loving and sweet. Then we started trying to
have a baby and realized that without serious assistance I couldn't have a
child. But to give you the baby you wanted I went through hell and back with
fertility treatments and such, all for you. I wanted it so badly, to make
you happy. But it just wasn't working. Through all of this I never
complained when you refused to go get checked out to see if you might be
part of the problem. It didn't occur to me that maybe even though you
constantly said you did that you really didn't want to have a baby with me.
You didn't love me enough to go plain and simple. And even when I had the
opportunities to cheat on you I didn't. I loved you and couldn't break your
trust that way. Obviously you didn't feel the same about me. Even when I
found out about your girlfriend I loved you enough and wanted to make it
work enough to forgive you. Well it didn't stop there. You just couldn't let
her go. You couldn't be happy with me and ended up screwing up my life,
getting me thrown in jail for assault... yes your WIFE beat you up, I
seriously hope you have trouble living with that fact. Then you didn't even
have the guts to talk to me about divorce, you just filed and never
mentioned it. My lawyer had to tell me you had filed. But for that I have to
thank you. You got what you deserved, your girlfriend wouldn't leave her
husband for you, you lost your job because I wasn't there to wake you up in
the mornings and your family still loves me. I bet that drives you crazy. I
hear you are getting married again, and my one piece of advice to your
future wife... good luck.. she's going to need it. And I just wanted you to
know that the man I am with now, is more of a man than you could ever be.
He's younger, sweeter, better looking, he treats me like a woman should be
treated and I'm happy for the first time in a long time. And that's all I
have to say.
Confession #636
Don't act like you are a huge martyr for canceling the premium movie channels on our cable. You never watched them, anyway. We were spending an extra $50 a month for the comfort of you knowing you 'could' watch a movie anytime you wanted to. What a waste of money. You bitch about the cost of our internet access-well, at least I use it. DAILY. I can't remember the last time you sat and watched a movie on cable.
Confession #637
When will you realize that charity begins in the home? You are more generous to others than you are to us. You buy concert tickets for friends, knowing full well we don't have the money in our budget. You offer to help finance your sister's move, and when it fell through, who was out the money for her security deposit and first month's rent? You feel bad for her-I get that. She's a single mom with a piece of shit for an ex...But that does not mean we should simply hand over all that we have and put ourselves in the poorhouse. If it were just you and I, maybe I'd be more ok with it...But we have a child. We have to buy food and diapers for her, and keep a roof over our head. You seem to feel the need to put everyone else first, so that they will love you and like you and appreciate you. You have a wife and daughter who love you, like you, and appreciate you for all you are and all that you try to be...Why is that not enough for you? Why do you feel the need to save the world at the expense of your family?
Confession #638
I should have married for money. You have no concept of how much things cost, nor do you care. You drain our bank account far too often and leave us in the hole. I am so sick of it. You wonder where the money goes, and when I show you how many ATM withdrawals you have made in the past two weeks, you get a confused look on your face-and then "Oh, yeah, I needed money to do...(insert stupid reason here)". And then you blame me for our credit problems. Well, maybe our credit would not be so shitty if you've leave some fucking money in the bank so that I could pay the damn bills and not keep paying insufficient funds fees. I should have stuck with that guy my mom wanted me to marry. He had tons of money.
Confession #639
You work 7 days a week up to 14 hours a day and it makes me sick to my stomach that I can not work, or even get a job that would cover day care for our two beautiful baby girls and still earn enough to help out our finances.
You are one of the most strongest people I have ever known. We have your sister and 5y/o niece living with us now and I see the stress it causes, oh my gosh I see it and yet you still try to make it a good situation for all and become the ring leader in every fight.
You work until your weak and still come home, the first words I hear are "how was your day, is there anything I can do" I love how considerate you are.
When you do get a day off, you spend it helping around the house which I never even have to ask for. You dote on our daughters and you love me more than any person I have ever known.
I love how no matter how much stress you are under, you still take the time to tell me how beautiful I am and play with your girls.
Your a damn hard worker and a damn good provider, and my hero. You gave me every reason to live and being with us is the most beautiful blessing, I'll never be able to thank God enough.
Thank you for these beautiful 4 years so far, Thank you being patient and understanding and devoted. Thank you for being the most wonderful father I have ever seen. I have never known a man to dote on two babies as much as you do, and still snuggle with his wife and help do chores.
Man I am blessed. I love you so so much I can't even describe.
Yes you have negatives, so do I, but by gosh your positives outweigh all.
Confession #640
If you want to own a home of our own someday, STOP WASTING MONEY. STOP buying shit we don't need. STOP buying DVDs. STOP going to concerts and shows. STOP ordering take-out at lunch when I pack a perfectly good lunch for you to take to work. STOP trying to keep up with everyone else around us...Nobody's dumb enough to think we actually have money. You just look like an idiot when you offer to buy a round at the bar, because everyone knows you really can't afford it.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
True Wife Confession 63 Anomalies of Water
Confession #621
You are a convicted felon. BTW...Everyone in BOTH those groups knows you're an abuser. The only people who like you in the program are the men who are just like you...Rapists, murderers, convicted felons on their way out of or into prison, wife abusers, child molesters. These people are your friends. These are the only people on the planet you can relate to and who can relate to you. You are a cheat, a liar, and you are psychotically in denial. You don't even believe you're an alcoholic. You said yourself that you could just go to meetings and never do the steps. If you could fuck your mother, you would.
And THAT is why I'm divorcing you.
And I can't WAIT for the day I have that paper, signed by a Judge, stating that our marriage is over because you are cruel and inhuman. You are NOT human.
I hope you rot in Hell.
Confession #622
I hate you. That's the bottom line, and it took me a long time to get to it. I am 29 years old,and living with my parents again. Why? Because you chose to live a life that did not include me. I put up with you for almost 10 years, I wasted my college days on being with you,making a home with you, and making myself believe that I was so lucky to have someone like you. You did nothing. You dropped out of school 3 times, smoked pot on a hourly basis. While you were doing that I was putting anything that came from a restaurant,or grocery store into my mouth. Also I was going to school full time, racking up debt,trying to pay bills with non-existent money,and keeping up appearances. And yes I will accept responsibility for not having any sexual contact with you for 7 years. I was depressed,and lonely,and did not know what to do. I had no family anywhere around me, and I was stuck in VT. Your touch made me want to scream, and all I wanted was to be told I was pretty and smart, without having to give you some lame ass hand job. I was so happy when we decided to get married! I picked out my engagement ring,watched you hold on to it, and let me try it on whenever I wanted to, but not officially propose to me, but I did not get it, I just waited.. Hoping that your parents would buy my wedding ring a day before the wedding, that was by far one of the most humiliating experiences. Then into 7 months of marriage you meet some home wrecker, cheat on me,tell me that your worthless (looking for an out were you!) but decide to try it again if I get counseling for my depression. How dare you. I got my counseling,I started having sex with you again,I put up with you moodiness, and your drinking problem. Its a sad state of affairs when I come home from work after working with 3 years olds all day long, hoping that you drank vodka instead of Jack Daniels, because it makes you less mean. Then comes the day after the cops visited for the second time, you decided that you cant handle it anymore and you love that girl. You want a divorce. I protested and cried thinking my life was over. You shut down and did not care, because if you did care that would make you human and you would have to deal with feelings that you don't know how to deal with. I packed up,left, and am now rebuilding my life in my childhood bedroom. I wish I could send you the acceptance letter that I got from graduate school. I am not worthless,I am smart, and I will succeed. Even if it is from my childhood bedroom. And what do you have, a drinking problem,a dirty apt,a mediocre job, and your mommy enabling your behavior, and becoming the father I saw you hate. Congratulations! You're a fucker just like him.
Confession #623
Dear husband why cant you do something without me asking?
I mean if the cat poops on the floor, don't walk over, don't call me, don't yell at me that there is cat poop on the floor, just clean it. If I buy a ceiling fan and all the parts that are needed to be installed and you promise to install it this weekend, please do it, don't let everything sit there in a pile for more than a couple of weeks. Don't go apeshit if your looking for the salt or pepper in the cabinet and it does not magically appear before your eyes, move a few things and it will be right there. Do not assume your favorite pair of work pants are clean just because you left them on the floor and the laundry fairy picks them up. Don't tell me your going to eat dinner and then proceed to eat chips and dip and tell me your full after I spent all afternoon cooking a great meal for all of us. Don't pick up beer at the store and say you forgot to pick up my soft drink that was in the same aisle.
Confession #624
I trusted you. I gave you the one thing that no one could touch. I gave you my heart. Sure I may have given it to you solely because you represented security. But even with that concession to myself, I still gave it to you 100%. I never cheated on you, yet from the start you cheated on me. Blame me for staying, blame you you piece of shit for doing what you did. Why? Why did you even bother when you knew you just wanted a break away from mommy's stronghold. Why didn't you just have the balls to break away instead of taking 10 years of my youth. At least when I knew I stayed with you for security I didn't have delusions of grandeur. Now I'm fat, while you've slimmed down (I'm only fat because I didn't want people to see me and tempt me into cheating on you prick). You've got a girlfriend you started fucking while we were married, and I'm left with baggage from a broken heart that still burns to the touch even though it was all your fault. I have health issues and bills up the ass so much so that groceries are sometimes hard for me to have money to buy, and you finally after 10 years decide to make some decent money (note that never once while we were married did you ever pick up the slack and help) and are building a $300,000 house with your new bitch?! Is this the payment for the 10 years I never cheated on you? The 10 years I gave my youth away on someone like you? The 10 years of wounded heart that I've suffered (yes, that includes my heart attack, I wonder if you caused that with your attitude). You're an asshole and you can look all cherub like and talk all mild mannered, but no matter how much you cover up with mannerisms, you still are a piece of shit.
Confession #625
my grandma called last night to invite me to a dinner in celebration of her 65th wedding anniversary to grandpa!!! Can you believe it! She was at the Dr. with grandpa yesterday and said someone asked her who HE was? She told him it was her husband and they had been married for 65 years. The woman was amazed and asked how she had managed to remain married for so long. Grandma said, "we've had our ups and downs, fighting, arguing, etc., now we just don't talk to each other."
so, there ya go.
Confession #626
Gah, you drive me INSANE!!! How can you be so goddamn negative all the time? You tell me what you want to do with your life, and I say, great! We can make that work! Let's do it! You then spend 20 minutes telling me why none of it can work out, and why you'll always be unhappy. Somehow, I find myself in an argument where I'm arguing FOR the things that make you happy, and you're arguing AGAINST them! And to top it all off, now I'm the mean one who's "criticizing" you because I'm saying you *can* do whatever you put your mind to, and that our son and I will make sacrifices so that you can go back to school or do whatever you want. You make me feel like I'm crazy! If you're so sure nothing will work out, and that you will always be an unhappy, miserable failure, then I'm sick to death of trying to convince you otherwise. Go be miserable. Just know that you'll be doing it without me or our son.
Confession #627
Not complimenting your pregnant wife is very uncool. Fake it if you must, but tell me I look nice, that you can tell I cleaned the house, since clearly you NEVER would, that you appreciate laundry being magically done. Calling me preggers is annoying as fuck. Stop it.
Confession #628
Picking work over taking your 3 year old to her first day of preschool is pretty damn selfish and I hope I am a better parent than you are because 15 minutes will not make or break your career and if it does, fuck them!!
Confession #629
Sorry baby for being the worst wife ever.Sorry for shouting at you at every opportunity,sorry for hitting and kicking you and sleeping with other men,sorry I didn't realize the smiles you gave me were love,I'm really sorry for everything I did,and you took it all and loved me,hugging me after hitting you!!
Now I'm sorry for myself,realizing I have lost the loveliest,kindest,most honest man I've ever known,my family saw it and don't speak to me,but you still call and see how I am,what an idiot I was,sorry,sorry,sorry.
Confession #630
I feel like work is way too important to you and that our family must take a backseat to it at all times. Let it go. It's just a fucking job. We are your family. Being grumpy and moody and then fake happy is not how I am going to live. I grew up in a house like that a nd I refuse to let our children grow up in a similar way. Either leave the job stuff at work or talk about it. Don't sit and brood about it all night. It is not attractive.
You are a convicted felon. BTW...Everyone in BOTH those groups knows you're an abuser. The only people who like you in the program are the men who are just like you...Rapists, murderers, convicted felons on their way out of or into prison, wife abusers, child molesters. These people are your friends. These are the only people on the planet you can relate to and who can relate to you. You are a cheat, a liar, and you are psychotically in denial. You don't even believe you're an alcoholic. You said yourself that you could just go to meetings and never do the steps. If you could fuck your mother, you would.
And THAT is why I'm divorcing you.
And I can't WAIT for the day I have that paper, signed by a Judge, stating that our marriage is over because you are cruel and inhuman. You are NOT human.
I hope you rot in Hell.
Confession #622
I hate you. That's the bottom line, and it took me a long time to get to it. I am 29 years old,and living with my parents again. Why? Because you chose to live a life that did not include me. I put up with you for almost 10 years, I wasted my college days on being with you,making a home with you, and making myself believe that I was so lucky to have someone like you. You did nothing. You dropped out of school 3 times, smoked pot on a hourly basis. While you were doing that I was putting anything that came from a restaurant,or grocery store into my mouth. Also I was going to school full time, racking up debt,trying to pay bills with non-existent money,and keeping up appearances. And yes I will accept responsibility for not having any sexual contact with you for 7 years. I was depressed,and lonely,and did not know what to do. I had no family anywhere around me, and I was stuck in VT. Your touch made me want to scream, and all I wanted was to be told I was pretty and smart, without having to give you some lame ass hand job. I was so happy when we decided to get married! I picked out my engagement ring,watched you hold on to it, and let me try it on whenever I wanted to, but not officially propose to me, but I did not get it, I just waited.. Hoping that your parents would buy my wedding ring a day before the wedding, that was by far one of the most humiliating experiences. Then into 7 months of marriage you meet some home wrecker, cheat on me,tell me that your worthless (looking for an out were you!) but decide to try it again if I get counseling for my depression. How dare you. I got my counseling,I started having sex with you again,I put up with you moodiness, and your drinking problem. Its a sad state of affairs when I come home from work after working with 3 years olds all day long, hoping that you drank vodka instead of Jack Daniels, because it makes you less mean. Then comes the day after the cops visited for the second time, you decided that you cant handle it anymore and you love that girl. You want a divorce. I protested and cried thinking my life was over. You shut down and did not care, because if you did care that would make you human and you would have to deal with feelings that you don't know how to deal with. I packed up,left, and am now rebuilding my life in my childhood bedroom. I wish I could send you the acceptance letter that I got from graduate school. I am not worthless,I am smart, and I will succeed. Even if it is from my childhood bedroom. And what do you have, a drinking problem,a dirty apt,a mediocre job, and your mommy enabling your behavior, and becoming the father I saw you hate. Congratulations! You're a fucker just like him.
Confession #623
Dear husband why cant you do something without me asking?
I mean if the cat poops on the floor, don't walk over, don't call me, don't yell at me that there is cat poop on the floor, just clean it. If I buy a ceiling fan and all the parts that are needed to be installed and you promise to install it this weekend, please do it, don't let everything sit there in a pile for more than a couple of weeks. Don't go apeshit if your looking for the salt or pepper in the cabinet and it does not magically appear before your eyes, move a few things and it will be right there. Do not assume your favorite pair of work pants are clean just because you left them on the floor and the laundry fairy picks them up. Don't tell me your going to eat dinner and then proceed to eat chips and dip and tell me your full after I spent all afternoon cooking a great meal for all of us. Don't pick up beer at the store and say you forgot to pick up my soft drink that was in the same aisle.
Confession #624
I trusted you. I gave you the one thing that no one could touch. I gave you my heart. Sure I may have given it to you solely because you represented security. But even with that concession to myself, I still gave it to you 100%. I never cheated on you, yet from the start you cheated on me. Blame me for staying, blame you you piece of shit for doing what you did. Why? Why did you even bother when you knew you just wanted a break away from mommy's stronghold. Why didn't you just have the balls to break away instead of taking 10 years of my youth. At least when I knew I stayed with you for security I didn't have delusions of grandeur. Now I'm fat, while you've slimmed down (I'm only fat because I didn't want people to see me and tempt me into cheating on you prick). You've got a girlfriend you started fucking while we were married, and I'm left with baggage from a broken heart that still burns to the touch even though it was all your fault. I have health issues and bills up the ass so much so that groceries are sometimes hard for me to have money to buy, and you finally after 10 years decide to make some decent money (note that never once while we were married did you ever pick up the slack and help) and are building a $300,000 house with your new bitch?! Is this the payment for the 10 years I never cheated on you? The 10 years I gave my youth away on someone like you? The 10 years of wounded heart that I've suffered (yes, that includes my heart attack, I wonder if you caused that with your attitude). You're an asshole and you can look all cherub like and talk all mild mannered, but no matter how much you cover up with mannerisms, you still are a piece of shit.
Confession #625
my grandma called last night to invite me to a dinner in celebration of her 65th wedding anniversary to grandpa!!! Can you believe it! She was at the Dr. with grandpa yesterday and said someone asked her who HE was? She told him it was her husband and they had been married for 65 years. The woman was amazed and asked how she had managed to remain married for so long. Grandma said, "we've had our ups and downs, fighting, arguing, etc., now we just don't talk to each other."
so, there ya go.
Confession #626
Gah, you drive me INSANE!!! How can you be so goddamn negative all the time? You tell me what you want to do with your life, and I say, great! We can make that work! Let's do it! You then spend 20 minutes telling me why none of it can work out, and why you'll always be unhappy. Somehow, I find myself in an argument where I'm arguing FOR the things that make you happy, and you're arguing AGAINST them! And to top it all off, now I'm the mean one who's "criticizing" you because I'm saying you *can* do whatever you put your mind to, and that our son and I will make sacrifices so that you can go back to school or do whatever you want. You make me feel like I'm crazy! If you're so sure nothing will work out, and that you will always be an unhappy, miserable failure, then I'm sick to death of trying to convince you otherwise. Go be miserable. Just know that you'll be doing it without me or our son.
Confession #627
Not complimenting your pregnant wife is very uncool. Fake it if you must, but tell me I look nice, that you can tell I cleaned the house, since clearly you NEVER would, that you appreciate laundry being magically done. Calling me preggers is annoying as fuck. Stop it.
Confession #628
Picking work over taking your 3 year old to her first day of preschool is pretty damn selfish and I hope I am a better parent than you are because 15 minutes will not make or break your career and if it does, fuck them!!
Confession #629
Sorry baby for being the worst wife ever.Sorry for shouting at you at every opportunity,sorry for hitting and kicking you and sleeping with other men,sorry I didn't realize the smiles you gave me were love,I'm really sorry for everything I did,and you took it all and loved me,hugging me after hitting you!!
Now I'm sorry for myself,realizing I have lost the loveliest,kindest,most honest man I've ever known,my family saw it and don't speak to me,but you still call and see how I am,what an idiot I was,sorry,sorry,sorry.
Confession #630
I feel like work is way too important to you and that our family must take a backseat to it at all times. Let it go. It's just a fucking job. We are your family. Being grumpy and moody and then fake happy is not how I am going to live. I grew up in a house like that a nd I refuse to let our children grow up in a similar way. Either leave the job stuff at work or talk about it. Don't sit and brood about it all night. It is not attractive.
Friday, September 01, 2006
True Wife Confessions 62 Million Year Cycle
Confession #611
I am so sick and tired of having to plan every single day, weekday or weekend, around you and your shit. I have lost all say or control over having any breaks away from this house, and without our child in tow. I am on call as a housewife and mother 24/7, and I NEED A FUCKING BREAK! Going to the supermarket doesn't count! Once a month to get my roots dyed is just not cutting it anymore! I love our child more than life itself, but I need to get away from the clinging and the whining for a couple of hours. You have the nerve to think I have it easier than you b/c I get to stay at home. Then you make ridiculous statements like "the boy doesn't need to be entertained around the clock". No, you dumb fuck, its about interacting with your 21 month-old child. Something you have no clue how to do. AT ALL. Even though he begs for your attention. And you just don't get it, you asshole. I don't think you'll ever change, and I think I may leave you after all. You may think I won't, and I'm not gonna stop you from working on this stupid house (which you should've done a long time ago instead of your precious car). But I don't care how much money you rack up in debt, its the least I could do for all the bullshit I've had to endure. FUCK YOU.
Confession #612
Thank you for not getting on my case about being
unemployed this summer. I know we both expected me to
find work more quickly, but never once have you asked
me how many resumes I'm sending out every day, or what
I've been doing to find a job. You understand that
I'm trying to figure out what direction I want my
career to take, and that the process is longer than I
thought it would be. The bottom line is that you want
me to be as happy and fulfilled professionally as you
are, and that means more than any designer couch or
fancy car we could have bought if I'd taken a crappy
dead-end job just to bring in more money.
Confession #613
I don't get your thing about ultimate fighting...and you don't get my love of video games. Thanks for just going into the other room and we can each do our own things.
Confession #614
When I tell you that my breasts are tender because my period is coming, that is not an invitation to touch them. They are sore. They want to be left alone.
Confession #615
In spite of all of the wonderful things you do, the
next time you bring home an entire grocery bag FULL of
dirty socks the day after I told you I was going to do
laundry, I may have to burn them. I'm not going to
run an entire load of just your socks, and I don't
want them stinking up my laundry room for a week.
Confession #616
The fact that you stood up to your evil and mean, but rich, mother and her
frog faced husband means the world to me. When you told her that you had a
wife and family and that if she could not treat us with respect and kindness
then "see ya," that made me realize how really great you are. Sorry that we
probably cost you your inheritance and that big hunting trip to Montana.
Every time I have ever really needed you, you have stepped up to the plate.
Thanks for going to counseling with me, thanks for trying so hard, thanks
for loving me, even when I am freaking out. Thanks for always saying your
sorry and making up in front of the kids. I love you more after all these
years.
Confession #617
It's okay that you left me, because now I'm back with
your brother. How do you like that, you asswipe?
That's right, I may have chosen you over him, but that
was a mistake, and I apologize to your brother every
day for going with you instead of him. So go off with
your secretary, or whoever you left me for, I'm much
happier now than I ever was with you anyway.
Confession #618
I'm secretly happy that the dog likes me more than he
likes you. We both know that he's helping to fill the
hole in my heart that infertility has made, and you
don't need that unconditional small animal love like I
do right now.
Confession #619
I don't think you realize how lonely I feel. And I hate you for dragging me into this suburban hell. I want to leave so bad I can taste it. Every day in every way, you seem to make it more and more obvious how alone I am every time you say or do something. We are two completely different people. We have nothing in common, and we can't have one mature conversation. Dinnertime has become an exercise in restraint. All I wanna do is reach across the table and stab you with my fork. I can't even stand to watch you eat anymore. You make me physically ill. Your eyes are totally vacant, no sign of any intelligence whatsoever. Whenever you try to talk to me, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It's only a matter of minutes before we collide and fight. You are an immature moron with no signs of any emotional or intellectual growth ahead. You're just happy to scratch your hairy balls and watch American Chopper or some other brainless bullshit. You don't even have the capacity to put up with 5 minutes of watching something intelligent or different. You like to talk to me like I have no brain. I should've realized how disrespectful you are to people in general, let alone me or my family. Noone liked you from the beginning and it's my fault that I chose to ignore the signs before saying I do. The second you walk in the door from work, the stress and tension level in this house skyrockets. Our 20 month-old can sense something's wrong, and it breaks my heart. He calls out to you as soon as he sees you and you barely give him any notice. Unless I remind you to answer him or say hello to him, you won't know to do so on your own accord. It makes me want to just scoop him up and drive away from you forever. I hate you for that. It's bad enough you disrespect me as a person, but I'm a big girl, I can handle your shit. But when you disregard our son it makes me want rip your dick off. As much as a boy needs his father, he needs to be surrounded by love more. You say you don't want to be like your own unemotional father, but asshole, you ARE your father. And stop making up some bullshit excuses for him just because he served in the war. So what, get over it. A lot of people served back then. A dishtowel has more of a personality than he does. You should have married someone as ignorant and simple-minded as your mother. Sorry, but I don't buy into that old-school Italian mentality bullshit. So get this straight you lowlife: I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I won't act like the helpless, brainless dimwitted female in this house. That's her job. You may be loyal and not have cheated on me as of yet, but G-d forgive me, there are sooo many times I wish you did. Just so I could use it against you forever , go fuck the shit out of the guy I still think about, and leave your stupid hairy ass. Trust me, my ego wouldn't get as bruised as you'd like it get. I don't love you enough to feel that much pain. In fact, I don't think I love you at all. If I ever did, you managed to kill it all away, every day, bit by bit. You don't realize how much loathing for you I have to hold inside. Oh yeah, and by the way, no matter how much you work out, no matter how cut you already are, I wll never find you attractive enough to fuck you. You're still nauseating.
Confession #620
Even though you keep wanting me to do a threesome with you, I will never do it with YOU. I'd rather experience another woman alone and keep my experiences to myself because I have a really strong feeling that she'd probably make me come , whereas you just can't.
I am so sick and tired of having to plan every single day, weekday or weekend, around you and your shit. I have lost all say or control over having any breaks away from this house, and without our child in tow. I am on call as a housewife and mother 24/7, and I NEED A FUCKING BREAK! Going to the supermarket doesn't count! Once a month to get my roots dyed is just not cutting it anymore! I love our child more than life itself, but I need to get away from the clinging and the whining for a couple of hours. You have the nerve to think I have it easier than you b/c I get to stay at home. Then you make ridiculous statements like "the boy doesn't need to be entertained around the clock". No, you dumb fuck, its about interacting with your 21 month-old child. Something you have no clue how to do. AT ALL. Even though he begs for your attention. And you just don't get it, you asshole. I don't think you'll ever change, and I think I may leave you after all. You may think I won't, and I'm not gonna stop you from working on this stupid house (which you should've done a long time ago instead of your precious car). But I don't care how much money you rack up in debt, its the least I could do for all the bullshit I've had to endure. FUCK YOU.
Confession #612
Thank you for not getting on my case about being
unemployed this summer. I know we both expected me to
find work more quickly, but never once have you asked
me how many resumes I'm sending out every day, or what
I've been doing to find a job. You understand that
I'm trying to figure out what direction I want my
career to take, and that the process is longer than I
thought it would be. The bottom line is that you want
me to be as happy and fulfilled professionally as you
are, and that means more than any designer couch or
fancy car we could have bought if I'd taken a crappy
dead-end job just to bring in more money.
Confession #613
I don't get your thing about ultimate fighting...and you don't get my love of video games. Thanks for just going into the other room and we can each do our own things.
Confession #614
When I tell you that my breasts are tender because my period is coming, that is not an invitation to touch them. They are sore. They want to be left alone.
Confession #615
In spite of all of the wonderful things you do, the
next time you bring home an entire grocery bag FULL of
dirty socks the day after I told you I was going to do
laundry, I may have to burn them. I'm not going to
run an entire load of just your socks, and I don't
want them stinking up my laundry room for a week.
Confession #616
The fact that you stood up to your evil and mean, but rich, mother and her
frog faced husband means the world to me. When you told her that you had a
wife and family and that if she could not treat us with respect and kindness
then "see ya," that made me realize how really great you are. Sorry that we
probably cost you your inheritance and that big hunting trip to Montana.
Every time I have ever really needed you, you have stepped up to the plate.
Thanks for going to counseling with me, thanks for trying so hard, thanks
for loving me, even when I am freaking out. Thanks for always saying your
sorry and making up in front of the kids. I love you more after all these
years.
Confession #617
It's okay that you left me, because now I'm back with
your brother. How do you like that, you asswipe?
That's right, I may have chosen you over him, but that
was a mistake, and I apologize to your brother every
day for going with you instead of him. So go off with
your secretary, or whoever you left me for, I'm much
happier now than I ever was with you anyway.
Confession #618
I'm secretly happy that the dog likes me more than he
likes you. We both know that he's helping to fill the
hole in my heart that infertility has made, and you
don't need that unconditional small animal love like I
do right now.
Confession #619
I don't think you realize how lonely I feel. And I hate you for dragging me into this suburban hell. I want to leave so bad I can taste it. Every day in every way, you seem to make it more and more obvious how alone I am every time you say or do something. We are two completely different people. We have nothing in common, and we can't have one mature conversation. Dinnertime has become an exercise in restraint. All I wanna do is reach across the table and stab you with my fork. I can't even stand to watch you eat anymore. You make me physically ill. Your eyes are totally vacant, no sign of any intelligence whatsoever. Whenever you try to talk to me, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It's only a matter of minutes before we collide and fight. You are an immature moron with no signs of any emotional or intellectual growth ahead. You're just happy to scratch your hairy balls and watch American Chopper or some other brainless bullshit. You don't even have the capacity to put up with 5 minutes of watching something intelligent or different. You like to talk to me like I have no brain. I should've realized how disrespectful you are to people in general, let alone me or my family. Noone liked you from the beginning and it's my fault that I chose to ignore the signs before saying I do. The second you walk in the door from work, the stress and tension level in this house skyrockets. Our 20 month-old can sense something's wrong, and it breaks my heart. He calls out to you as soon as he sees you and you barely give him any notice. Unless I remind you to answer him or say hello to him, you won't know to do so on your own accord. It makes me want to just scoop him up and drive away from you forever. I hate you for that. It's bad enough you disrespect me as a person, but I'm a big girl, I can handle your shit. But when you disregard our son it makes me want rip your dick off. As much as a boy needs his father, he needs to be surrounded by love more. You say you don't want to be like your own unemotional father, but asshole, you ARE your father. And stop making up some bullshit excuses for him just because he served in the war. So what, get over it. A lot of people served back then. A dishtowel has more of a personality than he does. You should have married someone as ignorant and simple-minded as your mother. Sorry, but I don't buy into that old-school Italian mentality bullshit. So get this straight you lowlife: I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I won't act like the helpless, brainless dimwitted female in this house. That's her job. You may be loyal and not have cheated on me as of yet, but G-d forgive me, there are sooo many times I wish you did. Just so I could use it against you forever , go fuck the shit out of the guy I still think about, and leave your stupid hairy ass. Trust me, my ego wouldn't get as bruised as you'd like it get. I don't love you enough to feel that much pain. In fact, I don't think I love you at all. If I ever did, you managed to kill it all away, every day, bit by bit. You don't realize how much loathing for you I have to hold inside. Oh yeah, and by the way, no matter how much you work out, no matter how cut you already are, I wll never find you attractive enough to fuck you. You're still nauseating.
Confession #620
Even though you keep wanting me to do a threesome with you, I will never do it with YOU. I'd rather experience another woman alone and keep my experiences to myself because I have a really strong feeling that she'd probably make me come , whereas you just can't.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
True Wife Confessions Highway 61revisited
Confession #601
I hate you. I've hated you since about two months after we got married the first time. You are sadistic, perverted and just an awful man. So now, eleven years later, I am just keeping my mouth shut and trying to get through until the kids are old enough that if we get divorced I won't have to leave them alone with you. After we got divorced, I only got back together with you so that I wouldn't have to send the kids 1000 miles away to stay with you and your crazy fucking mother. And I only married you again so that the kids and I would have health insurance. I have done awful things to you in retaliation for the way that you treat me and in the hope that you will finally just leave me and the kids (it's not like you even care about them or are ever nice to them).
But I know that you never will. It makes me sick how you are so needy and say that you love me so much and can't live without me. If you love me so much, why do you push me around and choke me? How can you think that slapping me and hurting me and pissing on me during sex is LOVE?
Mostly I hate myself for staying with you. But I'm trapped. I can't leave the kids alone with you. And the court doesn't care that you are a fucking pornography-addicted, control freak- you'd still get visitation.
You alternate between being a whiny little bitch who wants to hold my hand and "cuddle" and says that I am so cold and unaffectionate and the classic abusive husband. The whole household walks on eggshells around you.
I hate it that I spend so much time doing every little thing that you need that it makes me resent the kids needing me to do stuff. I hate it that I am so wound up from your bullshit that I snap at them for stupid reasons.
I hate it that I have to do everything in the house in addition to working full time. I hate it that you won't do a single goddamn thing for yourself but complain about the way that I do things. When your single job at home was mowing the lawn, you never did it. The grass was knee-fucking-high. This summer, while I'm doing it, you're bitching that I don't use the weed-eater enough.
I wish almost every day that you would die. And if there were a way that I could kill you and not get caught I would do it. In a heartbeat.
So enjoy your remaining few years of having me to control and humiliate and wait on you hand and foot. Because as soon as our youngest is old enough, I am so so gone.
Oh and by the way, you are a fat ass and not nearly as funny as you think you are.
Confession #602
When I met you, I immediately recognized you as a wonderful man. I knew you would be a great husband and father and I couldn't let that go so I married you and over the years you have proven that I was right. But I'm so very far from being attracted to you and our sex is so polite, orchestrated and the same every single time. I make myself have sex with you because I know you expect it and that you're extremely attracted to me and not because I actually want you. My ex-boyfriends used to say I was the best and wildest sex they'd ever had and now I find myself encouraging you to work night shifts because I'd rather use my vibrator than have sex with you. I miss my libido. I know I'm cheating us both out of a passionate marriage, but I really do love you and I know you love the children and me. I could never cheat on you or leave you because I know it would destroy our little family, but sometimes I find myself thinking that something could happen to you on the job and I'd be free to be me again.
Confession #603
You are the love of my life, but nothing sends me into a silent rage faster
than when you decide to watch porn while we are in the middle of foreplay or
sex and have to waste five minutes finding a scene on the DVD or the
videotape. My problem isn't with the porn, it is with the time and it is
with watching you go soft while you find the "right" scene. If you want porn
on while we do it, please cue the damn scene up beforehand and have it
waiting. Watching you search for a scene makes me feel like a prop and makes
me wish I hadn't spent all the time beforehand getting both of us warmed up.
And watching you switch tapes or discs makes me wonder if I should just get
up and get dressed.
If you want the porn on, ask before we get started, or just turn it on as we
get started. Don't ask me and then act like you are only suggesting it for
my benefit. Because unless you already have the scene waiting to go, it is
NOT going to do anything to get me going. I've told you this many times, and
each time you act like it is new information and wonder why I am so cranky
about it. You know which scenes I like, this isn't rocket science or
alchemy.
While I'm at it, you can either complain that I never initiate anything, or
when I do, you can ask why I'm in the mood. You can't do both. If you don't
complain, you can ask me what got me so wet before we came to bed. If you do
complain, don't question why I want it, just slide it in and be grateful.
Confession #604
We've been together for 7 years now and I really want a baby. I know you
said it's not the right time and you don't know when it will be, but I
can't help the way I feel. Sometimes I think about going off my birth
control and not telling you and than letting you think its just one of
those crazy flukes. But I could never be that deceitful to you.
Confession #605
you told me that it will never work because I will never change...Who are you kidding? You were lucky to have me....You, me, and everyone else knows that you are an asshole from hell who has put me through more BS than any human should have to endure at the hands of a "lover". But you know what? You're almost right, I do need to change....The first change will be permantly removing you from my life....thank you for giving me my lightbulb moment....and PS: I really really hope the charge you got for assaulting me sticks, cause maybe you didn't deserve it that night, but there were plenty of nights you did and you deserve to have that one on your record so everyone will know what an ass you really are.
Confession #606
When I married you, I was in love with someone else. I married you because I liked you and believed you were an upstanding man. I didn't allow myself to think about whether I would ever love you as a should. I was correct about your character to an even greater degree than anticipated. I am in love with you now and have been for some time. I know our marriage is not perfect, but most of the time I feel that it is close. I am sorry about the beginning. I could not help the way I felt. Thank you for choosing me in spite of what I suspect you knew.
Confession #607
You are truly a selfish asshole. Just can't seem to give up that need to be a bachelor, can you? I have put up with your drinking. With you being so far gone on whatever drug that I found you in the basement, crouched behind the boiler like a frightened cat. With your staying out all night long, without so much as a phone call. A DUI. Your memberships at Yahoo Personals and some fucked up sex personal site. But I'm the one that is the problem, right? Now, I am pregnant with your child. And I thought you had changed. And last night, you went to the store at 6PM. And came home drunk at 3AM. Who is she? I know...It must suck to have to look at me pregnant. Go to hell. Ladies out there...They don't change.
Confession #608
A part of me believes that you got sick on purpose because you didn't want to have kids.
Confession #609
This weekend I am not going to go to my moms to spend time with family....I am going to be with the man I was in love with since I was 12 and lost contact with for 8 years! I have thought about him everyday, even though we have a wonderful life and child together. I need to be with him.
I am sorry.
Confession #610
I hate your family. I hate your brother. I hate your cousins. I hate your uncle. Most of all I hate your mother. She is rude, selfish, ungrateful and she smells. I hate taking our son over to her house because he always comes out smelling like musty smokey b.o. Just like your mother. I hate when you drive her places in my car because I can smell her when I get in.
I hate that your brother only visits her three times a year, and when he does he might get around to doing 1 small chore for her and even though you are constantly going over there to do real chores for her, she goes on and on and on about how wonderful your brother was to mow the back lawn. What about the weekend before when you put a new roof on her house? I don't even think she said thank you.
I hate that you think she is the most wonderful woman in the world. I hate that we have given her thousands of dollars to "help her out" over the last few years and that even though you went to the bank with her to straighten everything out, she's fucked up her finances again.
I hate that when her car died last year, she made you (she refused to let me, because she didn't want to inconvenience me) drive her to work, while I waited for the tow truck by the side of the road and then had to pay for it myself (remember that? I was 8 months pregnant).
I hate that when we go over to her house for family dinners, she treats your brother's girlfriend and I like shit, while she treats your brother like a King and you like a Prince. Remember last Christmas? When she gave everyone else (including herself) dessert, and "accidentally" forgot to give me a plate? And there was no dessert left? So I had to sit there while you animals eloped down your dessert, pretending that it was alright. By the way, obviously your mother didn't teach you boys any manners, you're supposed to wait until everyone has a plate before you start eating.
Speaking of what your mother never taught you boys growing up (and I WILL blame it on your mother, because both you and your brother are guilty of all these things), you have NO table manners, you lick your plate and your knife when you are done eating, you don't shower daily (you are a grown man with a wife, child and PROFESSIONAL DESIGNATION, get up ten minutes earlier and TAKE A GODDMAMN SHOWER every morning), you don't shave every day, you wait until your hair is long and shaggy and scraggily looking before you will go for your $10 (cheap ass) haircut. You will wear the same clothes day after day and you never even offer to help with the laundry. You never help with the dishes, the vacuuming, the sweeping, cleaning the toilets, nothing. You don't brush your teeth before you go to bed, and you don't brush your teeth when you wake up, you wait until 2 minutes before you leave for work. That's disgusting. And I blame all of that on your mother because your brother is the SAME WAY.
Despite all that bullshit, I still love you and think you are a good husband and father. (But you make me so mad sometimes!)
I hate you. I've hated you since about two months after we got married the first time. You are sadistic, perverted and just an awful man. So now, eleven years later, I am just keeping my mouth shut and trying to get through until the kids are old enough that if we get divorced I won't have to leave them alone with you. After we got divorced, I only got back together with you so that I wouldn't have to send the kids 1000 miles away to stay with you and your crazy fucking mother. And I only married you again so that the kids and I would have health insurance. I have done awful things to you in retaliation for the way that you treat me and in the hope that you will finally just leave me and the kids (it's not like you even care about them or are ever nice to them).
But I know that you never will. It makes me sick how you are so needy and say that you love me so much and can't live without me. If you love me so much, why do you push me around and choke me? How can you think that slapping me and hurting me and pissing on me during sex is LOVE?
Mostly I hate myself for staying with you. But I'm trapped. I can't leave the kids alone with you. And the court doesn't care that you are a fucking pornography-addicted, control freak- you'd still get visitation.
You alternate between being a whiny little bitch who wants to hold my hand and "cuddle" and says that I am so cold and unaffectionate and the classic abusive husband. The whole household walks on eggshells around you.
I hate it that I spend so much time doing every little thing that you need that it makes me resent the kids needing me to do stuff. I hate it that I am so wound up from your bullshit that I snap at them for stupid reasons.
I hate it that I have to do everything in the house in addition to working full time. I hate it that you won't do a single goddamn thing for yourself but complain about the way that I do things. When your single job at home was mowing the lawn, you never did it. The grass was knee-fucking-high. This summer, while I'm doing it, you're bitching that I don't use the weed-eater enough.
I wish almost every day that you would die. And if there were a way that I could kill you and not get caught I would do it. In a heartbeat.
So enjoy your remaining few years of having me to control and humiliate and wait on you hand and foot. Because as soon as our youngest is old enough, I am so so gone.
Oh and by the way, you are a fat ass and not nearly as funny as you think you are.
Confession #602
When I met you, I immediately recognized you as a wonderful man. I knew you would be a great husband and father and I couldn't let that go so I married you and over the years you have proven that I was right. But I'm so very far from being attracted to you and our sex is so polite, orchestrated and the same every single time. I make myself have sex with you because I know you expect it and that you're extremely attracted to me and not because I actually want you. My ex-boyfriends used to say I was the best and wildest sex they'd ever had and now I find myself encouraging you to work night shifts because I'd rather use my vibrator than have sex with you. I miss my libido. I know I'm cheating us both out of a passionate marriage, but I really do love you and I know you love the children and me. I could never cheat on you or leave you because I know it would destroy our little family, but sometimes I find myself thinking that something could happen to you on the job and I'd be free to be me again.
Confession #603
You are the love of my life, but nothing sends me into a silent rage faster
than when you decide to watch porn while we are in the middle of foreplay or
sex and have to waste five minutes finding a scene on the DVD or the
videotape. My problem isn't with the porn, it is with the time and it is
with watching you go soft while you find the "right" scene. If you want porn
on while we do it, please cue the damn scene up beforehand and have it
waiting. Watching you search for a scene makes me feel like a prop and makes
me wish I hadn't spent all the time beforehand getting both of us warmed up.
And watching you switch tapes or discs makes me wonder if I should just get
up and get dressed.
If you want the porn on, ask before we get started, or just turn it on as we
get started. Don't ask me and then act like you are only suggesting it for
my benefit. Because unless you already have the scene waiting to go, it is
NOT going to do anything to get me going. I've told you this many times, and
each time you act like it is new information and wonder why I am so cranky
about it. You know which scenes I like, this isn't rocket science or
alchemy.
While I'm at it, you can either complain that I never initiate anything, or
when I do, you can ask why I'm in the mood. You can't do both. If you don't
complain, you can ask me what got me so wet before we came to bed. If you do
complain, don't question why I want it, just slide it in and be grateful.
Confession #604
We've been together for 7 years now and I really want a baby. I know you
said it's not the right time and you don't know when it will be, but I
can't help the way I feel. Sometimes I think about going off my birth
control and not telling you and than letting you think its just one of
those crazy flukes. But I could never be that deceitful to you.
Confession #605
you told me that it will never work because I will never change...Who are you kidding? You were lucky to have me....You, me, and everyone else knows that you are an asshole from hell who has put me through more BS than any human should have to endure at the hands of a "lover". But you know what? You're almost right, I do need to change....The first change will be permantly removing you from my life....thank you for giving me my lightbulb moment....and PS: I really really hope the charge you got for assaulting me sticks, cause maybe you didn't deserve it that night, but there were plenty of nights you did and you deserve to have that one on your record so everyone will know what an ass you really are.
Confession #606
When I married you, I was in love with someone else. I married you because I liked you and believed you were an upstanding man. I didn't allow myself to think about whether I would ever love you as a should. I was correct about your character to an even greater degree than anticipated. I am in love with you now and have been for some time. I know our marriage is not perfect, but most of the time I feel that it is close. I am sorry about the beginning. I could not help the way I felt. Thank you for choosing me in spite of what I suspect you knew.
Confession #607
You are truly a selfish asshole. Just can't seem to give up that need to be a bachelor, can you? I have put up with your drinking. With you being so far gone on whatever drug that I found you in the basement, crouched behind the boiler like a frightened cat. With your staying out all night long, without so much as a phone call. A DUI. Your memberships at Yahoo Personals and some fucked up sex personal site. But I'm the one that is the problem, right? Now, I am pregnant with your child. And I thought you had changed. And last night, you went to the store at 6PM. And came home drunk at 3AM. Who is she? I know...It must suck to have to look at me pregnant. Go to hell. Ladies out there...They don't change.
Confession #608
A part of me believes that you got sick on purpose because you didn't want to have kids.
Confession #609
This weekend I am not going to go to my moms to spend time with family....I am going to be with the man I was in love with since I was 12 and lost contact with for 8 years! I have thought about him everyday, even though we have a wonderful life and child together. I need to be with him.
I am sorry.
Confession #610
I hate your family. I hate your brother. I hate your cousins. I hate your uncle. Most of all I hate your mother. She is rude, selfish, ungrateful and she smells. I hate taking our son over to her house because he always comes out smelling like musty smokey b.o. Just like your mother. I hate when you drive her places in my car because I can smell her when I get in.
I hate that your brother only visits her three times a year, and when he does he might get around to doing 1 small chore for her and even though you are constantly going over there to do real chores for her, she goes on and on and on about how wonderful your brother was to mow the back lawn. What about the weekend before when you put a new roof on her house? I don't even think she said thank you.
I hate that you think she is the most wonderful woman in the world. I hate that we have given her thousands of dollars to "help her out" over the last few years and that even though you went to the bank with her to straighten everything out, she's fucked up her finances again.
I hate that when her car died last year, she made you (she refused to let me, because she didn't want to inconvenience me) drive her to work, while I waited for the tow truck by the side of the road and then had to pay for it myself (remember that? I was 8 months pregnant).
I hate that when we go over to her house for family dinners, she treats your brother's girlfriend and I like shit, while she treats your brother like a King and you like a Prince. Remember last Christmas? When she gave everyone else (including herself) dessert, and "accidentally" forgot to give me a plate? And there was no dessert left? So I had to sit there while you animals eloped down your dessert, pretending that it was alright. By the way, obviously your mother didn't teach you boys any manners, you're supposed to wait until everyone has a plate before you start eating.
Speaking of what your mother never taught you boys growing up (and I WILL blame it on your mother, because both you and your brother are guilty of all these things), you have NO table manners, you lick your plate and your knife when you are done eating, you don't shower daily (you are a grown man with a wife, child and PROFESSIONAL DESIGNATION, get up ten minutes earlier and TAKE A GODDMAMN SHOWER every morning), you don't shave every day, you wait until your hair is long and shaggy and scraggily looking before you will go for your $10 (cheap ass) haircut. You will wear the same clothes day after day and you never even offer to help with the laundry. You never help with the dishes, the vacuuming, the sweeping, cleaning the toilets, nothing. You don't brush your teeth before you go to bed, and you don't brush your teeth when you wake up, you wait until 2 minutes before you leave for work. That's disgusting. And I blame all of that on your mother because your brother is the SAME WAY.
Despite all that bullshit, I still love you and think you are a good husband and father. (But you make me so mad sometimes!)
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
True Wife Confessions 60 Seconds:Minute
Confession #591
You know, you were right. I DID go to college so that I could support myself and our children if/WHEN it came time to leave your ass. I'll never admit it to your face, though. Now that college is over and I'm making three times more money than you, I don't want to leave you. I saw how supportive you could actually be during the most stressful time in my life. You raised the kids those three years. Thanks.
Confession #592
I'm afraid for you, and for our family. The war has been hard on you - too many IED attacks, too many injuries and death, too much blood and loss. You're starting to write to me about things that sound like a psychotic break - cameras and microphones in the walls, people always watching you... I'm really afraid that when you get back from this war, you'll be a different person than when you left. We were struggling to stay together before all of that. What will happen with all of this, on top of it? How can I stay if you go back to being as scary to live with as you were before - or worse? But how can I leave if this is just the aftermath of being a solder at war, when I promised to love and support you for better or worse? We've had enough 'worse,' and I need some 'better,' but you're starting to sound a little psychotic. How much can our son and I take?
Confession #593
About a month after we started dating I had sex with a married man that I've known for four years, and I'm so glad I did. Having sex with him was what made me realize how much I wanted to be with you and only you. I love you. You're my heart.
Confession #594
I love you dearly, but playing "good time dad" to that greedy, thankless boy truly diminishes my respect for you. He's so good at dangling that carrot of possibly moving here over your head and you fall for it every time. Face it, he's playing both ends against the middle and you need to stop playing along. You're not helping grow into a respectable man, you're teaching him how to manipulate and use people.
Confession #595
Just because my parents are wealthier than yours doesn't give you the right to assume that you could ask my dad for money every time we need to do something to the house. Go ask your lowlife parents instead. One of the biggest reasons I don't want my dad to reach into his pockets is b/c I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with you. I also just want you to taste the shame in not being able to provide and do the right thing for us. The fact that you had the audacity to lie to your cousins and lead them to believe that you bought me my car makes me want to puke. I'm glad I found out and set the record straight. Now you look like even a bigger ass. You like to walk around like your shit doesn't stink but you're not fooling anyone. Stop playin' yourself. You think you could talk to me the way you do and then go to my father for help? And to even talk to me like that in front of him? You've got balls the size of Montana. And a prick as small as a hamsters. And one day I will let you truly know that. I used to fake every orgasm just to get you off of me. Now, fuck it -- you will know that you are a total failure. I have lost so much respect for you, I don't even care if you cheat on me. At least it would give me a good reason to just leave your pompous ass and to never forgive you. I hate how disrespectful you've become. Not just to me but to this family. Every time you ignore our child I just want to kill you--violently. I love my child more than my own life, but I regret that it was with you. With every fiber of my being. If it wasn't for him, I would've left you a long time ago. The fact that you just got caught whacking off in front of this computer after we fought makes me sick to my stomach. You've added years of stress to my face and to my well-being. I will lose all this weight and work on myself real hard, because someday I plan to take MY child and leave you for good. You don't deserve us. Scumbag.
Confession #596
Last night you told me that I should lose 20 lbs.
I will lose weight when you grow some hair.
Confession #597
I know you say you are allergic to any kind of detergent except Tide and that we MUST purchase Tide. However, what you don't know is that I'’ve been using the same Tide bottle for months and months and refilling it with the store brand.
Amazingly, you haven'’t had any rash or itch whatsoever. So weird.
Confession #598
If you hadn't come into my life when you did I am 100% positive that I would be dead by now. Thank you for giving me my life back, for giving me myself back.
Confession #599
I really want to trust you, but your own actions are making it difficult.And because I still have such doubts and fears, I'm still keeping score. I know where you hid your pills and I know every single day how many are there.People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. The fact that you feel the need to hide them says it all.
Confession #600
Sometimes the crap that comes out your mouth scares the hell out of me when I realize that you are "helping"” raise our daughters. If you can't stop spewing such ugliness I will take them away from you. I refuse to let them grow up around such hatred.
You know, you were right. I DID go to college so that I could support myself and our children if/WHEN it came time to leave your ass. I'll never admit it to your face, though. Now that college is over and I'm making three times more money than you, I don't want to leave you. I saw how supportive you could actually be during the most stressful time in my life. You raised the kids those three years. Thanks.
Confession #592
I'm afraid for you, and for our family. The war has been hard on you - too many IED attacks, too many injuries and death, too much blood and loss. You're starting to write to me about things that sound like a psychotic break - cameras and microphones in the walls, people always watching you... I'm really afraid that when you get back from this war, you'll be a different person than when you left. We were struggling to stay together before all of that. What will happen with all of this, on top of it? How can I stay if you go back to being as scary to live with as you were before - or worse? But how can I leave if this is just the aftermath of being a solder at war, when I promised to love and support you for better or worse? We've had enough 'worse,' and I need some 'better,' but you're starting to sound a little psychotic. How much can our son and I take?
Confession #593
About a month after we started dating I had sex with a married man that I've known for four years, and I'm so glad I did. Having sex with him was what made me realize how much I wanted to be with you and only you. I love you. You're my heart.
Confession #594
I love you dearly, but playing "good time dad" to that greedy, thankless boy truly diminishes my respect for you. He's so good at dangling that carrot of possibly moving here over your head and you fall for it every time. Face it, he's playing both ends against the middle and you need to stop playing along. You're not helping grow into a respectable man, you're teaching him how to manipulate and use people.
Confession #595
Just because my parents are wealthier than yours doesn't give you the right to assume that you could ask my dad for money every time we need to do something to the house. Go ask your lowlife parents instead. One of the biggest reasons I don't want my dad to reach into his pockets is b/c I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with you. I also just want you to taste the shame in not being able to provide and do the right thing for us. The fact that you had the audacity to lie to your cousins and lead them to believe that you bought me my car makes me want to puke. I'm glad I found out and set the record straight. Now you look like even a bigger ass. You like to walk around like your shit doesn't stink but you're not fooling anyone. Stop playin' yourself. You think you could talk to me the way you do and then go to my father for help? And to even talk to me like that in front of him? You've got balls the size of Montana. And a prick as small as a hamsters. And one day I will let you truly know that. I used to fake every orgasm just to get you off of me. Now, fuck it -- you will know that you are a total failure. I have lost so much respect for you, I don't even care if you cheat on me. At least it would give me a good reason to just leave your pompous ass and to never forgive you. I hate how disrespectful you've become. Not just to me but to this family. Every time you ignore our child I just want to kill you--violently. I love my child more than my own life, but I regret that it was with you. With every fiber of my being. If it wasn't for him, I would've left you a long time ago. The fact that you just got caught whacking off in front of this computer after we fought makes me sick to my stomach. You've added years of stress to my face and to my well-being. I will lose all this weight and work on myself real hard, because someday I plan to take MY child and leave you for good. You don't deserve us. Scumbag.
Confession #596
Last night you told me that I should lose 20 lbs.
I will lose weight when you grow some hair.
Confession #597
I know you say you are allergic to any kind of detergent except Tide and that we MUST purchase Tide. However, what you don't know is that I'’ve been using the same Tide bottle for months and months and refilling it with the store brand.
Amazingly, you haven'’t had any rash or itch whatsoever. So weird.
Confession #598
If you hadn't come into my life when you did I am 100% positive that I would be dead by now. Thank you for giving me my life back, for giving me myself back.
Confession #599
I really want to trust you, but your own actions are making it difficult.And because I still have such doubts and fears, I'm still keeping score. I know where you hid your pills and I know every single day how many are there.People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. The fact that you feel the need to hide them says it all.
Confession #600
Sometimes the crap that comes out your mouth scares the hell out of me when I realize that you are "helping"” raise our daughters. If you can't stop spewing such ugliness I will take them away from you. I refuse to let them grow up around such hatred.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
True Wife Confessions Opus 59 ( Beethoven)
Confession #581
I knew about your secretly planned wedding. I’d bought the dress two months before you told me. Come on, do you really believe that I could find the perfect dress in less than a month? I had it hidden in the back of my closet.
Confession #582
I can’t tell you how many decisions I have let you believe you made yourself. I plant the idea and wait for it to sprout.
Confession #583
When you tell people that you did more work in childbirth than I did, it makes me want to punch you in the face. It isn’t even cute. Yes, I had morphine and was groggy. But I felt every damn thing. I promise you.
Confession #584
When you are away on a business trip, I sleep on your pillows so I can smell you. It helps me sleep.
Confession #585
When I had my wisdom teeth out and you took care of me? True love. Same with when I tore up my knee and you changed all the dressings. That stuff just melts me. Cause you know how much I like to be able to take care of myself, but you don’t let me.
Confession #586
I have let our daughter wake you up when you are hungover. I consider it a parental penance.
Confession #587
Just admit that you have no mechanical skills. Please. It will save us all lots of time and energy. You can’t fix a thing to save your life. Write a grant? Yes. Fix the car? Hell, no.
Confession #588
I find the cigar smoking sexy. And the port drinking. It makes you smell great.
Confession #589
Your daughter tells me the things you tell her not to tell me. There are no secrets with our child. I know about throwing the apple out the car window...and many other things.
Confession #590
I tell my girlfriends everything. Even the stuff you tell me NOT to tell them, I do. They’re my girlfriends. Sometimes we laugh at you and the other husbands. We can’t help it.
I knew about your secretly planned wedding. I’d bought the dress two months before you told me. Come on, do you really believe that I could find the perfect dress in less than a month? I had it hidden in the back of my closet.
Confession #582
I can’t tell you how many decisions I have let you believe you made yourself. I plant the idea and wait for it to sprout.
Confession #583
When you tell people that you did more work in childbirth than I did, it makes me want to punch you in the face. It isn’t even cute. Yes, I had morphine and was groggy. But I felt every damn thing. I promise you.
Confession #584
When you are away on a business trip, I sleep on your pillows so I can smell you. It helps me sleep.
Confession #585
When I had my wisdom teeth out and you took care of me? True love. Same with when I tore up my knee and you changed all the dressings. That stuff just melts me. Cause you know how much I like to be able to take care of myself, but you don’t let me.
Confession #586
I have let our daughter wake you up when you are hungover. I consider it a parental penance.
Confession #587
Just admit that you have no mechanical skills. Please. It will save us all lots of time and energy. You can’t fix a thing to save your life. Write a grant? Yes. Fix the car? Hell, no.
Confession #588
I find the cigar smoking sexy. And the port drinking. It makes you smell great.
Confession #589
Your daughter tells me the things you tell her not to tell me. There are no secrets with our child. I know about throwing the apple out the car window...and many other things.
Confession #590
I tell my girlfriends everything. Even the stuff you tell me NOT to tell them, I do. They’re my girlfriends. Sometimes we laugh at you and the other husbands. We can’t help it.
Monday, August 28, 2006
We now interrupt this regularly scheduled TWC for this just in
I just published this on I'm Doing the Best I Can. I rarely editorialize on TWC, but this hit a real nerve in me.
*************************************************************************************
"Truth Hurts People"
This was a comment sent in by an anonymous reader of TWC.
I felt like I'd been slapped when it came into my inbox.
My breathing shortened. My face got red. I felt like a little girl who had just been caught doing something that she had been warned against doing. The same feeling when you told a secret about your family...and realize that it was never meant to be shared or even acknowledged as happening.
Next came my anger at feeling shamed. Who was this person to tell me that I was hurting people? That "Truth" hurts people? Who the fuck were they to pass this judgment?
AS I sat here, feeling enraged, feeling shamed, feeling guilty for something I had done, I had created, it occurred to me.
These are the feelings of a survivor of sexual abuse. One who talks.
I am one of those women. My perp? My biological father. I was ten. He was not the first, as I was quite the favorite of many of my older male cousins ... until I learned that yelling for my mother at the top of my lungs seemed to keep them away. He was not the only abusive man in the family, for my uncles perpetrated against my other female cousins, I later learned.
He was, however, the least expected. My father. The man I adored. The one that I wanted to please beyond all reason. He was the one to sexually assault me. In my house. After my parents had separated.
My mother, thinking she had left this man, and that the damage he could do to my brother and I was minimized never dreamed that he would come for a Christmas visit and bring this sort of catastrophe.
And like almost all young children who experience this, I kept quiet. I had nightmares. I wouldn't be in the same room alone with him during summer visitations. My signals got crossed. The man who was supposed to love and protect me was my abuser.
This became a distinctive pattern as I aged and began to date. I loved the emotionally distant ones. The more they resisted me, ignored me, emotionally abused me? Like candy. When one got me pregnant and emotionally and physically abandoned me? He became the penultimate love of my life. I would have abandoned my education for this man. I would have had this baby at age 20. To please him. To have him choose me. To give me anything, anything at all. My sacrifice was proof of my love, my worthiness of his love, but still he never chose me.
The first time I talked of my abuse was in my therapy sessions. Trying to figure out where my irrational anger and impulsively as coming from as I whirled in crazier and crazier circles, my therapist finally asked me point blank.
And I told her the truth.
And she cried.
To sit in front of your therapist and detail in a flat demeanor the horrors of your childhood, ,and to have her cry as she told me that none of this was my fault? It was honestly the first time that it may have occurred to me the enormity of the impact that this had on my life path. I was not crying. She was. How could I not cry when it had happened to me, and she was weeping simply hearing my dialogue?
Next I told my mother, and she cried and raged and vowed to kill this man. But I did not cry. I had lived with it for nearly nine years. I had hidden and distorted my truth for so long, it no longer resembled anything but a story for me. An experience, much like falling from your bike and scraping your knee. Or being brought into a drug house so your father can use you as a shield in front of his buyer? Or the time your father shot your dogs one winter because they were barking? Or that time he shot the glass out in the car as your mother drove away from the house when you were five? Or the time that he threatened to kill Santa, and took his gun out to the back yard to prove to you that he was serious? Or the time that you were nine and he taught you how to smoke a bong? Or that time when you were ten and he sexually assaulted you on New Years Eve?
You mean everyone doesn't have these stories?
So, "Truth hurts people" commenter, I respectfully disagree. Truth doesn't hurt people, secrets hurt people. The secrets we keep from our loved ones to spare them pain. The secrets we keep from ourselves. The secrets we keep for fear that we won't be liked, or loved, or admired. Maybe the truths expressed at TWC are the first time someone is saying their truth out loud. You don't have to like it. Hell, you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to agree that there should be a place like this to express yourself.
But keep the shaming to yourself. This is what keeps abused people silent. And I, for one, won't shut up to please you.
*************************************************************************************
"Truth Hurts People"
This was a comment sent in by an anonymous reader of TWC.
I felt like I'd been slapped when it came into my inbox.
My breathing shortened. My face got red. I felt like a little girl who had just been caught doing something that she had been warned against doing. The same feeling when you told a secret about your family...and realize that it was never meant to be shared or even acknowledged as happening.
Next came my anger at feeling shamed. Who was this person to tell me that I was hurting people? That "Truth" hurts people? Who the fuck were they to pass this judgment?
AS I sat here, feeling enraged, feeling shamed, feeling guilty for something I had done, I had created, it occurred to me.
These are the feelings of a survivor of sexual abuse. One who talks.
I am one of those women. My perp? My biological father. I was ten. He was not the first, as I was quite the favorite of many of my older male cousins ... until I learned that yelling for my mother at the top of my lungs seemed to keep them away. He was not the only abusive man in the family, for my uncles perpetrated against my other female cousins, I later learned.
He was, however, the least expected. My father. The man I adored. The one that I wanted to please beyond all reason. He was the one to sexually assault me. In my house. After my parents had separated.
My mother, thinking she had left this man, and that the damage he could do to my brother and I was minimized never dreamed that he would come for a Christmas visit and bring this sort of catastrophe.
And like almost all young children who experience this, I kept quiet. I had nightmares. I wouldn't be in the same room alone with him during summer visitations. My signals got crossed. The man who was supposed to love and protect me was my abuser.
This became a distinctive pattern as I aged and began to date. I loved the emotionally distant ones. The more they resisted me, ignored me, emotionally abused me? Like candy. When one got me pregnant and emotionally and physically abandoned me? He became the penultimate love of my life. I would have abandoned my education for this man. I would have had this baby at age 20. To please him. To have him choose me. To give me anything, anything at all. My sacrifice was proof of my love, my worthiness of his love, but still he never chose me.
The first time I talked of my abuse was in my therapy sessions. Trying to figure out where my irrational anger and impulsively as coming from as I whirled in crazier and crazier circles, my therapist finally asked me point blank.
And I told her the truth.
And she cried.
To sit in front of your therapist and detail in a flat demeanor the horrors of your childhood, ,and to have her cry as she told me that none of this was my fault? It was honestly the first time that it may have occurred to me the enormity of the impact that this had on my life path. I was not crying. She was. How could I not cry when it had happened to me, and she was weeping simply hearing my dialogue?
Next I told my mother, and she cried and raged and vowed to kill this man. But I did not cry. I had lived with it for nearly nine years. I had hidden and distorted my truth for so long, it no longer resembled anything but a story for me. An experience, much like falling from your bike and scraping your knee. Or being brought into a drug house so your father can use you as a shield in front of his buyer? Or the time your father shot your dogs one winter because they were barking? Or that time he shot the glass out in the car as your mother drove away from the house when you were five? Or the time that he threatened to kill Santa, and took his gun out to the back yard to prove to you that he was serious? Or the time that you were nine and he taught you how to smoke a bong? Or that time when you were ten and he sexually assaulted you on New Years Eve?
You mean everyone doesn't have these stories?
So, "Truth hurts people" commenter, I respectfully disagree. Truth doesn't hurt people, secrets hurt people. The secrets we keep from our loved ones to spare them pain. The secrets we keep from ourselves. The secrets we keep for fear that we won't be liked, or loved, or admired. Maybe the truths expressed at TWC are the first time someone is saying their truth out loud. You don't have to like it. Hell, you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to agree that there should be a place like this to express yourself.
But keep the shaming to yourself. This is what keeps abused people silent. And I, for one, won't shut up to please you.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
True Wife Confessions 58 cents, the lesser known, less successful brother of 50 cent
Confession #571
You make me laugh and you let me wear the "pants". For that I'll never leave you.
You treat our daughter and son like the priceless gems that they are. For that I'll love you forever.
It needed to be said.
Confession #572
I don't think you realize how close I was to leaving you this year. My unhappiness with what we have was all consuming, and I went and found a man from my past who made me feel sexy and gorgeous. While I never physically slept with him, I wanted to. I almost did. Until I asked him to choose me, and he couldn't. I was willing to give up our family, our life together for him.
So I come back to you and I realize that you do choose me. You always have. You decided that I was the wife you wanted and you stay. You support me, you encourage me, you humor me. You allow me the space and time and silence to do all the things I need to do, for my happiness is important to you. Our marriage may not be the most romantic thing, but it is solid, and real. You choose Me, and you always have. That realization has helped me fall in love with you again.
Confession #573
I plan on getting a tattoo by the time I am 40. With or without your permission.
Confession #574
I have hidden good snacks from you. I do feel a little badly, but damn, you eat them all before I can have any.
Confession #575
I'm sorry....
I'm sorry for the way I had to say good bye.
but; face it, you are married & we both have kids.
I was SOHO happy seeing you again, my whole world lit up! I think about you
everyday!
it's just too bad you are too far away! There were things that I haven't
felt in soo long. I wish they never ended.
my other half has no idea that I still feel like this. Although I wish I
could tell him, what I don't feel much for him anymore.
you are my best friend. I love you! I wish you were here again!
oh did I mention that you are GREAT in BED?! Don't get me wrong I still
love my baby's father, but...
I would do it again if I had to.
P.S.
Oh did I mention I was with another WOMAN! I'm sorry honey! She did things
to me that u couldn't .. At the time..
Confession #576
Raising your voice to me only pisses me off. And telling me to "Shut up"? Oh, it's on, motherfucker. Sadly, you never learn.
Confession #577
Jessica and I knew we were late for our wedding rehearsal. We had been shoe shopping and didn'’t want to get in trouble. We turned the clock back in her car and her watch so it would seem like we weren't late, only running on sadly incorrect time. You bought it.
Confession #578
The reason I get so uptight about her clothes is because of the teasing I endured as a child. I know, I know. I'm an adult. But that is one thing that she will never have to put up with. Put the Wal-mart coat back, and drive me to LL Bean.
Confession #579
I have occasionally cried to get my own way. It works about 50% of the time. We have a child now because of it.
Confession #580
I am still a little shocked that you actually went through with the Vasectomy. I figured if I saw your bluff and said you could have one, that you wouldn'’t really have it done.
You make me laugh and you let me wear the "pants". For that I'll never leave you.
You treat our daughter and son like the priceless gems that they are. For that I'll love you forever.
It needed to be said.
Confession #572
I don't think you realize how close I was to leaving you this year. My unhappiness with what we have was all consuming, and I went and found a man from my past who made me feel sexy and gorgeous. While I never physically slept with him, I wanted to. I almost did. Until I asked him to choose me, and he couldn't. I was willing to give up our family, our life together for him.
So I come back to you and I realize that you do choose me. You always have. You decided that I was the wife you wanted and you stay. You support me, you encourage me, you humor me. You allow me the space and time and silence to do all the things I need to do, for my happiness is important to you. Our marriage may not be the most romantic thing, but it is solid, and real. You choose Me, and you always have. That realization has helped me fall in love with you again.
Confession #573
I plan on getting a tattoo by the time I am 40. With or without your permission.
Confession #574
I have hidden good snacks from you. I do feel a little badly, but damn, you eat them all before I can have any.
Confession #575
I'm sorry....
I'm sorry for the way I had to say good bye.
but; face it, you are married & we both have kids.
I was SOHO happy seeing you again, my whole world lit up! I think about you
everyday!
it's just too bad you are too far away! There were things that I haven't
felt in soo long. I wish they never ended.
my other half has no idea that I still feel like this. Although I wish I
could tell him, what I don't feel much for him anymore.
you are my best friend. I love you! I wish you were here again!
oh did I mention that you are GREAT in BED?! Don't get me wrong I still
love my baby's father, but...
I would do it again if I had to.
P.S.
Oh did I mention I was with another WOMAN! I'm sorry honey! She did things
to me that u couldn't .. At the time..
Confession #576
Raising your voice to me only pisses me off. And telling me to "Shut up"? Oh, it's on, motherfucker. Sadly, you never learn.
Confession #577
Jessica and I knew we were late for our wedding rehearsal. We had been shoe shopping and didn'’t want to get in trouble. We turned the clock back in her car and her watch so it would seem like we weren't late, only running on sadly incorrect time. You bought it.
Confession #578
The reason I get so uptight about her clothes is because of the teasing I endured as a child. I know, I know. I'm an adult. But that is one thing that she will never have to put up with. Put the Wal-mart coat back, and drive me to LL Bean.
Confession #579
I have occasionally cried to get my own way. It works about 50% of the time. We have a child now because of it.
Confession #580
I am still a little shocked that you actually went through with the Vasectomy. I figured if I saw your bluff and said you could have one, that you wouldn'’t really have it done.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
True Wife Confessions 57th Overlanders Brigade (Rent Firefly, people)
Confession #561
Because you're overweight and refuse to do a damn thing about it, I have been buying fat free cheese and fat free sandwich meats for your lunches. I put the cheese in the regular wrapper that I saved from the last batch of regular cheese that we used up, so that you think it's the usual stuff we buy. You have not noticed the difference in taste, like you always say you would. Odds are it's not enough to make you lose that much weight, but I do enjoy knowing you're eating something you claim to hate so much.
Confession #562
When my daughter told me last night that school starts at 7:55 and ends at 3:15.... Why the hell did you jump all over her and telling her that her ass will be getting on the bus every morning because gas is 3.00 a gal........BUT yet you can run here there and everywhere without a care in the world of how much fucking gas is. You are a FUCKING ASSHOLE for talking to her that way. How can I still love you so much ?
Confession #563
You are away from home working all week long. That leaves me alone way too much. Then you come home and drink your beer all weekend. Saying that it is your pain killer. Your pain killer for what? For me? Am I that difficult to be around? Are your two children that adore you so much too much pain for you?
It kills me that you cannot be around your family without having to drink. It makes me want you not to even come home.
Confession #564
You are a shitty father and everyone knows it. It'’s not a slip of the tongue when I refer to him as "“my son." I mean it. He is mine. I'’m the only one who has ever cared for him. Changed his diapers, taken him for walks, bathed him, fed him and everything else it take to care for a small child. "Babysitting" him for me on the very few occasions I do have to work a few hours on the weekend does not make you super dad. A real babysitter would have done it better. A real babysitter would have actually changed his diapers.
I hate you because of how you have treated me for four years. Thankfully I was smart enough NOT to marry you when I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully I have found the strength within me to leave your lazy, ignorant, low class, fat, trashy ass. How stupid was I to get with you in the first place. At least I have MY beautiful amazing son out of the deal.
My biggest regret is that I can't keep you daughter from you too since you had her with that whore before me. She should be MINE too. I do everything to care for her too. Neither one of you deserve her!
Confession #565
You think I gave up smoking. For the most part, I have. But every once in a while, when you're out of town, or I go away for a night to visit friends, I enjoy a cigarette or two. Don't worry-I have never lit up within 10 miles of our kid. But I do love that feeling of doing something you can't stand, and you not having a clue about it. The urge to do it more often is so great, but I stop myself for fear of being caught.
I didn't wash your work shirts because you didn't put them in the laundry basket. Instead you opted to leave them piled up on the floor next to your side of the bed. Yes, I saw them there-but I thought you could use a refresher lesson on putting the clothes INTO the basket when you want them washed.
Confession #566
I have secretly been taking college courses (you know when you thought I was working late). I will finish my BA this semester. When it is finished, I will leave you. What a great graduation present to myself! And you always thought I was too stupid to graduate from college. Well I am going to, and with a much higher GPA than you had. And I did it while working full time, raising a child, taking care of the house, and keeping it all from you. And you think that you are better than me? I don't think so.
Confession #567
There are days when you drive me crazy, days when you leave me totally in awe of you, days I'm sure I've pushed you to the limit, days I couldn't imagine not having you next me, and everyday I am glad we chose each other. No matter the echoes you hear of us on this page the truth of it is, the difference for us is that I will never give up on you, on us, I never want to leave and I am always proud to have you lead our family. I am proud of the man you have become, and so in love with you. The beauty of echoes is that they give you a moment to reflect and then they fade away. As long as we learn from our reflections I promise we will be better than okay. You are the father I dreamed my children would have. And our daughter is so lucky to have you, and I will make sure she always knows that. So ask me if I wrote this one, it's the confession you deserve. I love you
Confession #568
I cheated on my Husband, not once. but twice. Twice where I had my emotions on the line too. The first was an absolute con job. He came into my life with the distinct goal of not only getting sex, but also getting me involved in some kind of head game that he may have actually believed himself. Who knows, a PSYCHO. I could write a book on him.
Then came the revenge sex. This second affair was never discovered and I never confided in anyone. This one fell in love with me. It was hard to get rid of this stalker.
Affair three. He too pursued me, but this time I was wiser. I definitely sent signals back. I fell and fell hard. We were the talk of the city. No joke. I didn't care. He left a wife with young kids for the passion with me. Affairs, at best, last 18 months. We were right on schedule. I still hate that he broke off with me first. How? He cheated.
Affair 4. The revenge screw. By now you see I am a loose screw. This affair has never been divulged until this day.
I pray every day for forgiveness. Husband discovered number 1 with written proof- back before such a thing as computers. Emotional affair two was discovered because I was blatant. I also admitted it.
Why publish such a seedy confession? Because of this.
I love my husband. I think his love came back after Affair 1. The other affair killed us, Almost. Now we have lots of good sex, and I hope through prayer and deed that he will put me back on that pedestal.
He is a good man as you can see. However, he is not a doormat. I think it is amazing that he too believed so strongly in the marriage covenant, that I was not divorced. I know he more than considered it. I know he sought legal counsel.
Do not give up marriage. It is horrible for family, kids. Marriage is indeed a covenant. I know I have no room to talk, but my marriage means more to me than my kids.
I work every day to show him that I love him. He works harder than I. Last night I had our 2 dogs for a walk in torrid heat. He had worked all day. He came home while I was on my walk. I had not expected him until much later in the evening. He met me in the yard with fresh squeezed Lemonade and took the leashes from me. He also had finished ironing his shirts. I had left the last 2 shirts out because I had not expected him home.
I think his love is coming back. I think he can trust me again in his heart. I do not have to work at remembering what I say because I tell the truth. I give extra blowjobs and I hate blowjobs, always have. Now I swallow.
I hope this isn't too long. I am extremely afraid to e-mail this. But, I haven't seen a confession that advocates Forgiving through such a scenario as I put My Husband through.
And I was with the OTHER Man ON any occasion I could find (the emotional affairs.) Birthdays, Fathers Day, Christmas Eve. It didn't matter to me.
I was evil. I pray hard. Every day, many times per day.
Forgive your man. Some of us take a long time to grow up. Too long. Thank the Lord that I have a Real Man, my wonderful husband.
I love him. A pure love.
Confession #569
I really resent you for never letting me do anything with my friends, or even letting me have friends. I lost so many friends because of you not letting me go out and do things with them, but I would never tell them the truth I would always blame the kids for being sick or something, and in reality it was you who wouldn't let me do a damn thing ever. I hate you for that. I am a person too, and deserve to do fun things in life also.
I was secretively happy and over joyed when I found out you were having an affair on me. I was so happy that I could finally get out of a marriage that was not what I expected or deserved. I know now after counseling that I am a great person and deserve awesome things in life! I really want to thank your whore for taking you away form your family, I am so glad to be rid of you, me and the boys have so much fun and are enjoying life now because you are gone!!! You having an affair was the best thing for us, I got the courage to divorce you and be a free woman and get to do the stuff I want to, and actually go to school and do stuff, I also have friends now who actually care about me. Its so wonderful. I also have the best boyfriend in the whole world now he loves your boys to death and would do anything for them, he is what a dad should be unlike your immature dumb ass who would rather go out and party than spend any kind of time with your family. He love us, and takes care of us in ways you never did, the boys are obsessed with him, and get sad when he hangs out with us, and you have the boys, I have to convince them to go stay at your house every weekend you have them. They would rather stay with me and E because he actually cares for them.
It was also true Karma when you had to get your testicle removed! You aren't a man in any shape or form and having to have your nut removed was like the best revenge ever!!! I couldn't have picked a revenge any better than that! You one nut looser!!!
Confession #570
I resent the fact that you volunteered me to watch your sister's kid (in addition to our own) while she started her new job. In case you haven't noticed, the kid is a royal pain in the ass. I went along with it because I love your sister. However, this does not give you the right to be mad when you have no clean clothes for work, or when dinner is not made when you get home. YOU stay home with the brat and our child for a day-you won't make it to lunch, honey. So close your mouth and load the damn washer yourself.
If we didn't have a child, I would probably drink myself into a stupor most nights. I love you and everything, but sometimes you drive me up a wall. I like the giddy feeling I get when I drink...you're easier to tolerate after a few...I even think you're kinda funny.
Because you're overweight and refuse to do a damn thing about it, I have been buying fat free cheese and fat free sandwich meats for your lunches. I put the cheese in the regular wrapper that I saved from the last batch of regular cheese that we used up, so that you think it's the usual stuff we buy. You have not noticed the difference in taste, like you always say you would. Odds are it's not enough to make you lose that much weight, but I do enjoy knowing you're eating something you claim to hate so much.
Confession #562
When my daughter told me last night that school starts at 7:55 and ends at 3:15.... Why the hell did you jump all over her and telling her that her ass will be getting on the bus every morning because gas is 3.00 a gal........BUT yet you can run here there and everywhere without a care in the world of how much fucking gas is. You are a FUCKING ASSHOLE for talking to her that way. How can I still love you so much ?
Confession #563
You are away from home working all week long. That leaves me alone way too much. Then you come home and drink your beer all weekend. Saying that it is your pain killer. Your pain killer for what? For me? Am I that difficult to be around? Are your two children that adore you so much too much pain for you?
It kills me that you cannot be around your family without having to drink. It makes me want you not to even come home.
Confession #564
You are a shitty father and everyone knows it. It'’s not a slip of the tongue when I refer to him as "“my son." I mean it. He is mine. I'’m the only one who has ever cared for him. Changed his diapers, taken him for walks, bathed him, fed him and everything else it take to care for a small child. "Babysitting" him for me on the very few occasions I do have to work a few hours on the weekend does not make you super dad. A real babysitter would have done it better. A real babysitter would have actually changed his diapers.
I hate you because of how you have treated me for four years. Thankfully I was smart enough NOT to marry you when I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully I have found the strength within me to leave your lazy, ignorant, low class, fat, trashy ass. How stupid was I to get with you in the first place. At least I have MY beautiful amazing son out of the deal.
My biggest regret is that I can't keep you daughter from you too since you had her with that whore before me. She should be MINE too. I do everything to care for her too. Neither one of you deserve her!
Confession #565
You think I gave up smoking. For the most part, I have. But every once in a while, when you're out of town, or I go away for a night to visit friends, I enjoy a cigarette or two. Don't worry-I have never lit up within 10 miles of our kid. But I do love that feeling of doing something you can't stand, and you not having a clue about it. The urge to do it more often is so great, but I stop myself for fear of being caught.
I didn't wash your work shirts because you didn't put them in the laundry basket. Instead you opted to leave them piled up on the floor next to your side of the bed. Yes, I saw them there-but I thought you could use a refresher lesson on putting the clothes INTO the basket when you want them washed.
Confession #566
I have secretly been taking college courses (you know when you thought I was working late). I will finish my BA this semester. When it is finished, I will leave you. What a great graduation present to myself! And you always thought I was too stupid to graduate from college. Well I am going to, and with a much higher GPA than you had. And I did it while working full time, raising a child, taking care of the house, and keeping it all from you. And you think that you are better than me? I don't think so.
Confession #567
There are days when you drive me crazy, days when you leave me totally in awe of you, days I'm sure I've pushed you to the limit, days I couldn't imagine not having you next me, and everyday I am glad we chose each other. No matter the echoes you hear of us on this page the truth of it is, the difference for us is that I will never give up on you, on us, I never want to leave and I am always proud to have you lead our family. I am proud of the man you have become, and so in love with you. The beauty of echoes is that they give you a moment to reflect and then they fade away. As long as we learn from our reflections I promise we will be better than okay. You are the father I dreamed my children would have. And our daughter is so lucky to have you, and I will make sure she always knows that. So ask me if I wrote this one, it's the confession you deserve. I love you
Confession #568
I cheated on my Husband, not once. but twice. Twice where I had my emotions on the line too. The first was an absolute con job. He came into my life with the distinct goal of not only getting sex, but also getting me involved in some kind of head game that he may have actually believed himself. Who knows, a PSYCHO. I could write a book on him.
Then came the revenge sex. This second affair was never discovered and I never confided in anyone. This one fell in love with me. It was hard to get rid of this stalker.
Affair three. He too pursued me, but this time I was wiser. I definitely sent signals back. I fell and fell hard. We were the talk of the city. No joke. I didn't care. He left a wife with young kids for the passion with me. Affairs, at best, last 18 months. We were right on schedule. I still hate that he broke off with me first. How? He cheated.
Affair 4. The revenge screw. By now you see I am a loose screw. This affair has never been divulged until this day.
I pray every day for forgiveness. Husband discovered number 1 with written proof- back before such a thing as computers. Emotional affair two was discovered because I was blatant. I also admitted it.
Why publish such a seedy confession? Because of this.
I love my husband. I think his love came back after Affair 1. The other affair killed us, Almost. Now we have lots of good sex, and I hope through prayer and deed that he will put me back on that pedestal.
He is a good man as you can see. However, he is not a doormat. I think it is amazing that he too believed so strongly in the marriage covenant, that I was not divorced. I know he more than considered it. I know he sought legal counsel.
Do not give up marriage. It is horrible for family, kids. Marriage is indeed a covenant. I know I have no room to talk, but my marriage means more to me than my kids.
I work every day to show him that I love him. He works harder than I. Last night I had our 2 dogs for a walk in torrid heat. He had worked all day. He came home while I was on my walk. I had not expected him until much later in the evening. He met me in the yard with fresh squeezed Lemonade and took the leashes from me. He also had finished ironing his shirts. I had left the last 2 shirts out because I had not expected him home.
I think his love is coming back. I think he can trust me again in his heart. I do not have to work at remembering what I say because I tell the truth. I give extra blowjobs and I hate blowjobs, always have. Now I swallow.
I hope this isn't too long. I am extremely afraid to e-mail this. But, I haven't seen a confession that advocates Forgiving through such a scenario as I put My Husband through.
And I was with the OTHER Man ON any occasion I could find (the emotional affairs.) Birthdays, Fathers Day, Christmas Eve. It didn't matter to me.
I was evil. I pray hard. Every day, many times per day.
Forgive your man. Some of us take a long time to grow up. Too long. Thank the Lord that I have a Real Man, my wonderful husband.
I love him. A pure love.
Confession #569
I really resent you for never letting me do anything with my friends, or even letting me have friends. I lost so many friends because of you not letting me go out and do things with them, but I would never tell them the truth I would always blame the kids for being sick or something, and in reality it was you who wouldn't let me do a damn thing ever. I hate you for that. I am a person too, and deserve to do fun things in life also.
I was secretively happy and over joyed when I found out you were having an affair on me. I was so happy that I could finally get out of a marriage that was not what I expected or deserved. I know now after counseling that I am a great person and deserve awesome things in life! I really want to thank your whore for taking you away form your family, I am so glad to be rid of you, me and the boys have so much fun and are enjoying life now because you are gone!!! You having an affair was the best thing for us, I got the courage to divorce you and be a free woman and get to do the stuff I want to, and actually go to school and do stuff, I also have friends now who actually care about me. Its so wonderful. I also have the best boyfriend in the whole world now he loves your boys to death and would do anything for them, he is what a dad should be unlike your immature dumb ass who would rather go out and party than spend any kind of time with your family. He love us, and takes care of us in ways you never did, the boys are obsessed with him, and get sad when he hangs out with us, and you have the boys, I have to convince them to go stay at your house every weekend you have them. They would rather stay with me and E because he actually cares for them.
It was also true Karma when you had to get your testicle removed! You aren't a man in any shape or form and having to have your nut removed was like the best revenge ever!!! I couldn't have picked a revenge any better than that! You one nut looser!!!
Confession #570
I resent the fact that you volunteered me to watch your sister's kid (in addition to our own) while she started her new job. In case you haven't noticed, the kid is a royal pain in the ass. I went along with it because I love your sister. However, this does not give you the right to be mad when you have no clean clothes for work, or when dinner is not made when you get home. YOU stay home with the brat and our child for a day-you won't make it to lunch, honey. So close your mouth and load the damn washer yourself.
If we didn't have a child, I would probably drink myself into a stupor most nights. I love you and everything, but sometimes you drive me up a wall. I like the giddy feeling I get when I drink...you're easier to tolerate after a few...I even think you're kinda funny.
Friday, August 25, 2006
True Wife Confessions Department 56 ( which creeps me out more than you can know)
Confession #551
I don't think I can make it 322 more days without you. Please come home now. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I'm left alone much longer.
Confession #552
Even though we are on the same team, one of these days I am going to stop playing this game. Your business partner is toxic to our life. He is destroying your business, our marriage and even our children. If you don't do something to change this I am taking the girls and leaving you. I refuse to sit and watch this happen for very much longer. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone but I love our daughters more.
Confession #553
I am jealous of that out-of-state ex-girlfriend who talks to you all the time on your computer and sends you text messages over the phone. I know she's depressed and needs a shoulder to lean on, but I also I know she isn't over you. The only reason I never say anything to you about her is that I am still good friends with several men I used to date, some of whom live in town, and you never act jealous at all around me when I talk to them. I really appreciate that.
Confession #554
Our marriage license is not your license to pick your nose in front of me. We have only been married for a few years. Can't you at least try to pretend that you still want to impress me?
Confession #555
You know what bothers me even more than the fact that you don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night? The fact that even though I've told you, repeatedly, that it turns me off when you try to kiss me with breath that still smells like the dinner we had three hours ago, you STILL don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night. Telling me that your half-assed thirty seconds once a day brushing program is actually an improvement over the dental hygiene habits you practiced before you met me does not make me find your bad breath any sexier. And stop whining already about how many cavities you get. You wouldn't get so many cavities if you brushed your teeth twice a day, fool.
Confession #556
I am really starting to resent that you never help me with the girls. I work just as hard as you during the day, I have just as much stress as you and yet on top of working 48 hours a week at a day job I am expected to do everything with our children. If I had known it was going to be this bad I might not have agreed to having children. Can't you just turn the damn TV off for one hour and put them to bed. Being a parent means putting your child'’s needs before your own. WAKE UP before it's too late.
Confession #557
You want to know why I roll my eyes every evening when you say you've got to go 'potty', as you put it? First off, I'm not two years old...you can tell me you're going to take a dump, a crap, or 'going to the men's room'. Whatever. Secondly, you take longer to shit than any man I've ever known. Yes, I know you have a book in there that you're reading...but honestly, it is THAT interesting that you'll spend on hour pushing? I know women who have given birth to babies in less time it takes you to take a dump. I get annoyed because while you're in there reading and crapping, I'm trying to calm our child down-our child, who has not seen you all day and wants nothing more than to play with her father...except that he can't get off the shitter. Lastly, you have a problem...it's called Irritable Bowel. You get the urge to run and take a dump NO MATTER WHAT you eat. I could feel you dry bread and water, and you'd be jumping up and running into the bathroom...what is up with that? Go see a damn doctor!
Confession #558
That married man whose blog I read who I talk to all the time on the internet? The one whose marriage is in trouble? I really do just talk shop with him about parenting-related stuff most of the time. He did sort of hit on me, hesitantly, once. But I told him to go hit on his wife instead. I would never cheat on you. Not even virtually.
Confession #559
I hate your daughter! There...I said it! I think you know it, too. But it was so nice to finally, after 11 years, tell me that you don't understand why she treats me so bad b/c atleast you see me trying to be nice to her and do the right thing. Finally, instead of making it all my fault. Finally, instead of saying "you're the adult, she's a child" b/c she is NOT a child anymore and hasn't been for a while. Finally, instead of thinking if you acknowledge my feelings you are encouraging me to hate her more. Finally, you confirm what I already knew. She hates me more!
Thank you for saying out loud that nothing I do is good enough for her & she is wrong to hold a grudge against me. Thank you for acknowledging that she only pretends to care about our children, her half siblings. Thank you for admitting she is in the wrong and doesn't give a crap about any of us, not even you.
WOW....I guess I'm not crazy and was right all along. I'm sorry for you that your daughter acts & feels that way. You deserve better and I deserve that you are finally admitting it.
Confession #560
Well, I've had some time to really think about what I want to say to you. And what could I possibly say that would make anything be different? Nothing.
Just, nothing. This situation is not one I can fix. Not now, not ever.
So, just a few choice points:
1. I'm glad you are sorry. I hope that works out for you, really I do. Sorry is a wonderful thing- for the person who has something to be sorry about. Even though you're sorry, I'm still alone and screwed over and hurt and all of those wonderful things. Sorry doesn't do shit for me. It never will. So, OK. Be sorry. Be sorry as much as you want. I really don't care.
2. I don't care if you think you are doing the "right" thing. You are no martyr. What you deem the "right" thing has still hurt me. End of story. Is hurting me the right thing to do? Is it really? Then your version of right is totally fucked up.
3. We aren't friends. We will never be friends. We have never been friends. I TOLD you from the very beginning there is no middle with me. I either love you or I hate you for hurting me. What made you think you would be the exception? None of the people I call my friends would ever hurt me as much as you have been able to hurt me so far. Get that idea out of your head right now. Bury it, do whatever you have to do. I will not sit here and torture myself by attempting to be "just friends". Damn you for thinking we could ever be friends.
God. Just - god. I feel like an idiot. For thinking that I ever mattered to you for one. For ever believing in you in the first place. For thinking that you could possibly be capable of looking out for my interests when all you really cared about was making sure that you didn't have to take any risks for anyone, ever. You waited until I trusted you completely, then you kicked me in the face.
And therein lays the deepest cut of all.
I get to live the rest of my life thinking I wasn't worth it in the end. I wasn't worth the trouble, the risk, the time, I was worth nothing. Do you have any idea how that feels? Do you have a concept of the amount of damage you have done? I don't think you do. This isn't fixable. To think you are justified in screwing with me in this manner is totally unforgivable. I will not forgive you for this- not soon, if ever. ACTIONS matter. Not words. You can flatter me all you want, you can say whatever your brain comes up with, but the bottom line is that your actions did not line up with any of it.
So I'm left here, alone, to think about all of this. To wonder why. To figure out what in the hell I ever did to you to deserve any of this.
In my best interest, leave me alone. Don't call me. Don't write to me, just go away. Hang out with your wife, figure out what you want, just leave me out of it. I'm done.
I don't think I can make it 322 more days without you. Please come home now. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I'm left alone much longer.
Confession #552
Even though we are on the same team, one of these days I am going to stop playing this game. Your business partner is toxic to our life. He is destroying your business, our marriage and even our children. If you don't do something to change this I am taking the girls and leaving you. I refuse to sit and watch this happen for very much longer. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone but I love our daughters more.
Confession #553
I am jealous of that out-of-state ex-girlfriend who talks to you all the time on your computer and sends you text messages over the phone. I know she's depressed and needs a shoulder to lean on, but I also I know she isn't over you. The only reason I never say anything to you about her is that I am still good friends with several men I used to date, some of whom live in town, and you never act jealous at all around me when I talk to them. I really appreciate that.
Confession #554
Our marriage license is not your license to pick your nose in front of me. We have only been married for a few years. Can't you at least try to pretend that you still want to impress me?
Confession #555
You know what bothers me even more than the fact that you don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night? The fact that even though I've told you, repeatedly, that it turns me off when you try to kiss me with breath that still smells like the dinner we had three hours ago, you STILL don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night. Telling me that your half-assed thirty seconds once a day brushing program is actually an improvement over the dental hygiene habits you practiced before you met me does not make me find your bad breath any sexier. And stop whining already about how many cavities you get. You wouldn't get so many cavities if you brushed your teeth twice a day, fool.
Confession #556
I am really starting to resent that you never help me with the girls. I work just as hard as you during the day, I have just as much stress as you and yet on top of working 48 hours a week at a day job I am expected to do everything with our children. If I had known it was going to be this bad I might not have agreed to having children. Can't you just turn the damn TV off for one hour and put them to bed. Being a parent means putting your child'’s needs before your own. WAKE UP before it's too late.
Confession #557
You want to know why I roll my eyes every evening when you say you've got to go 'potty', as you put it? First off, I'm not two years old...you can tell me you're going to take a dump, a crap, or 'going to the men's room'. Whatever. Secondly, you take longer to shit than any man I've ever known. Yes, I know you have a book in there that you're reading...but honestly, it is THAT interesting that you'll spend on hour pushing? I know women who have given birth to babies in less time it takes you to take a dump. I get annoyed because while you're in there reading and crapping, I'm trying to calm our child down-our child, who has not seen you all day and wants nothing more than to play with her father...except that he can't get off the shitter. Lastly, you have a problem...it's called Irritable Bowel. You get the urge to run and take a dump NO MATTER WHAT you eat. I could feel you dry bread and water, and you'd be jumping up and running into the bathroom...what is up with that? Go see a damn doctor!
Confession #558
That married man whose blog I read who I talk to all the time on the internet? The one whose marriage is in trouble? I really do just talk shop with him about parenting-related stuff most of the time. He did sort of hit on me, hesitantly, once. But I told him to go hit on his wife instead. I would never cheat on you. Not even virtually.
Confession #559
I hate your daughter! There...I said it! I think you know it, too. But it was so nice to finally, after 11 years, tell me that you don't understand why she treats me so bad b/c atleast you see me trying to be nice to her and do the right thing. Finally, instead of making it all my fault. Finally, instead of saying "you're the adult, she's a child" b/c she is NOT a child anymore and hasn't been for a while. Finally, instead of thinking if you acknowledge my feelings you are encouraging me to hate her more. Finally, you confirm what I already knew. She hates me more!
Thank you for saying out loud that nothing I do is good enough for her & she is wrong to hold a grudge against me. Thank you for acknowledging that she only pretends to care about our children, her half siblings. Thank you for admitting she is in the wrong and doesn't give a crap about any of us, not even you.
WOW....I guess I'm not crazy and was right all along. I'm sorry for you that your daughter acts & feels that way. You deserve better and I deserve that you are finally admitting it.
Confession #560
Well, I've had some time to really think about what I want to say to you. And what could I possibly say that would make anything be different? Nothing.
Just, nothing. This situation is not one I can fix. Not now, not ever.
So, just a few choice points:
1. I'm glad you are sorry. I hope that works out for you, really I do. Sorry is a wonderful thing- for the person who has something to be sorry about. Even though you're sorry, I'm still alone and screwed over and hurt and all of those wonderful things. Sorry doesn't do shit for me. It never will. So, OK. Be sorry. Be sorry as much as you want. I really don't care.
2. I don't care if you think you are doing the "right" thing. You are no martyr. What you deem the "right" thing has still hurt me. End of story. Is hurting me the right thing to do? Is it really? Then your version of right is totally fucked up.
3. We aren't friends. We will never be friends. We have never been friends. I TOLD you from the very beginning there is no middle with me. I either love you or I hate you for hurting me. What made you think you would be the exception? None of the people I call my friends would ever hurt me as much as you have been able to hurt me so far. Get that idea out of your head right now. Bury it, do whatever you have to do. I will not sit here and torture myself by attempting to be "just friends". Damn you for thinking we could ever be friends.
God. Just - god. I feel like an idiot. For thinking that I ever mattered to you for one. For ever believing in you in the first place. For thinking that you could possibly be capable of looking out for my interests when all you really cared about was making sure that you didn't have to take any risks for anyone, ever. You waited until I trusted you completely, then you kicked me in the face.
And therein lays the deepest cut of all.
I get to live the rest of my life thinking I wasn't worth it in the end. I wasn't worth the trouble, the risk, the time, I was worth nothing. Do you have any idea how that feels? Do you have a concept of the amount of damage you have done? I don't think you do. This isn't fixable. To think you are justified in screwing with me in this manner is totally unforgivable. I will not forgive you for this- not soon, if ever. ACTIONS matter. Not words. You can flatter me all you want, you can say whatever your brain comes up with, but the bottom line is that your actions did not line up with any of it.
So I'm left here, alone, to think about all of this. To wonder why. To figure out what in the hell I ever did to you to deserve any of this.
In my best interest, leave me alone. Don't call me. Don't write to me, just go away. Hang out with your wife, figure out what you want, just leave me out of it. I'm done.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
True Wife Confessions 55, which I still can't Drive, as evidenced by my weekend in bad driver school
Confession #541
I think living with your parents as an adult ruined you, and I was a fool to become your new mommy. I've become a nag, and I hate it.
Confession #542
I know you didn't want anymore kids, but I did. So I took it upon myself to get off birth control, without telling you, that's when I got pregnant again. Baby #2 wasn't a birth control accident, like I let you believe all these years, I planned it.
Confession #543
Honey, when is the last time you told me I was attractive or beautiful?
Yeah, I can't think of when either. And don't tell me 'oh but honey I *do*
think you're beautiful!' when you stare at porn practically every day.
I don't want to be your last resort. Either realize you've got a good, and
real thing or leave me to chase a fart in the wind.
Confession #544
I confess, I did it. That old ratty concert shirt that you had since high school (20 years ago)? The one with all the holes that is 2 sizes too small for you? It is not lost, I know exactly where it is. I threw it out while you were on your last business trip. At least I don't have to worry about you going out in public with it on and looking like a homeless person with really bad taste
Confession #545
Sometimes, I lay the blame on the kids for things when it's really my fault. I can't help it, it just pops out of my mouth before I think about it.
Confession #546
Don't think I haven't noticed that you manage to get sick/put your back out/have a reflux attack/have a migraine every time it's time for us to pack to move/clean out the garage/set up for your birthday party/help my parents with a big project.
Congratulations! I've finally stopped expecting any kind of help from you. You are now free to sit on your ever widening ass and watch me do everything. I hope you're proud of yourself you lazy asshole.
Confession #547
Honey I am stuck in such a bad depression and I don'’t know how to get out any longer. The only reason I am still alive is I don't trust you to raise our daughters.
I smoke so much because you eat so much.
Confession #548
I know things are stressful for us right now trying to balance our work, the children and the limited funds because of our recent move. I just wanted to tell you that I am really grateful for last night, that was probably the most amazing orgasm I have ever had. You are incredible!
Confession #549
You broke my heart into a thousand pieces when you chose her over me. You were so preoccupied with appearances, you selected a partner you thought would make the ideal wife instead of the one who would have made you happy. When I see you out I feel incredibly grateful it wasn't me who said "I do" because we'd have never made our first anniversary. When I do get married, it will be to someone who wants to be with me, not someone who uses their wife as a security blanket and a built-in baby-sitter so he can go out and hit on every single girl in the bar. Thank you for showing me that rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
Confession #550
Remember that time I stayed home from my night class, because it was a
long drive and I hadn't gotten to study all week anyway, because you'd
been too busy to take care of the baby? Remember how you promised you
would take care of the baby for those three hours that I should have
been in class (less time than you would have had to if I had gone to
class, since I wasn't including driving time!), so I could at least
spend that time studying, to catch up on that week and the next week's
lessons?
Remember how as soon as we agreed to that, and I sat down with my
books to study, you told me to watch the baby "for a minute" while you
took a hot shower, because you weren't feeling well? And then spent
45 minutes in the shower and went straight to bed because you still
felt rotten?
I was studying so I'd qualify for a job that would pay enough that you
could quit your shitty job. I still haven't forgiven you for pulling
that stunt. You should have taken care of our son for those three
hours, unless you were sick enough to go to the emergency room.
I think living with your parents as an adult ruined you, and I was a fool to become your new mommy. I've become a nag, and I hate it.
Confession #542
I know you didn't want anymore kids, but I did. So I took it upon myself to get off birth control, without telling you, that's when I got pregnant again. Baby #2 wasn't a birth control accident, like I let you believe all these years, I planned it.
Confession #543
Honey, when is the last time you told me I was attractive or beautiful?
Yeah, I can't think of when either. And don't tell me 'oh but honey I *do*
think you're beautiful!' when you stare at porn practically every day.
I don't want to be your last resort. Either realize you've got a good, and
real thing or leave me to chase a fart in the wind.
Confession #544
I confess, I did it. That old ratty concert shirt that you had since high school (20 years ago)? The one with all the holes that is 2 sizes too small for you? It is not lost, I know exactly where it is. I threw it out while you were on your last business trip. At least I don't have to worry about you going out in public with it on and looking like a homeless person with really bad taste
Confession #545
Sometimes, I lay the blame on the kids for things when it's really my fault. I can't help it, it just pops out of my mouth before I think about it.
Confession #546
Don't think I haven't noticed that you manage to get sick/put your back out/have a reflux attack/have a migraine every time it's time for us to pack to move/clean out the garage/set up for your birthday party/help my parents with a big project.
Congratulations! I've finally stopped expecting any kind of help from you. You are now free to sit on your ever widening ass and watch me do everything. I hope you're proud of yourself you lazy asshole.
Confession #547
Honey I am stuck in such a bad depression and I don'’t know how to get out any longer. The only reason I am still alive is I don't trust you to raise our daughters.
I smoke so much because you eat so much.
Confession #548
I know things are stressful for us right now trying to balance our work, the children and the limited funds because of our recent move. I just wanted to tell you that I am really grateful for last night, that was probably the most amazing orgasm I have ever had. You are incredible!
Confession #549
You broke my heart into a thousand pieces when you chose her over me. You were so preoccupied with appearances, you selected a partner you thought would make the ideal wife instead of the one who would have made you happy. When I see you out I feel incredibly grateful it wasn't me who said "I do" because we'd have never made our first anniversary. When I do get married, it will be to someone who wants to be with me, not someone who uses their wife as a security blanket and a built-in baby-sitter so he can go out and hit on every single girl in the bar. Thank you for showing me that rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
Confession #550
Remember that time I stayed home from my night class, because it was a
long drive and I hadn't gotten to study all week anyway, because you'd
been too busy to take care of the baby? Remember how you promised you
would take care of the baby for those three hours that I should have
been in class (less time than you would have had to if I had gone to
class, since I wasn't including driving time!), so I could at least
spend that time studying, to catch up on that week and the next week's
lessons?
Remember how as soon as we agreed to that, and I sat down with my
books to study, you told me to watch the baby "for a minute" while you
took a hot shower, because you weren't feeling well? And then spent
45 minutes in the shower and went straight to bed because you still
felt rotten?
I was studying so I'd qualify for a job that would pay enough that you
could quit your shitty job. I still haven't forgiven you for pulling
that stunt. You should have taken care of our son for those three
hours, unless you were sick enough to go to the emergency room.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
True Wife Confessions Studio 54
Confession #531
I hate you. I. Hate. You. I mean it, I am not just angry. You have fucked around on me so many times. And everytime I have tried to forgive you. I have tried to have a family with you. When you went to bootcamp, I waited, when you were deployed I waited, and every time I wait it seems there is someone else. Another nasty whore who will sleep with a married man. I raise your daughter with very little help from you. I sold some of her clothes before for formula and diapers when you would rather spend money on beer. No matter what you tell me I am a fucking awesome mother. I used to try to make you happy, I no longer give a damn. I only care about my baby and me. I am only with you until I can make money to support myself and my daughter. Soon, I will not have my heart shattered when I find a condom and a wad of $1 bills. I am numb to it now. Go ahead, tell me again I am fat and lazy, tell me again how stupid I am, tell me again how you don't care about me. GO AHEAD YOU FUCKING SMALL DICK FAGGOT!!!!!!!!! Go burn in hell motherfucker. I. Fucking. Hate. You.
Confession #532
Anal sex hurts. Sometimes for days afterward. I would never ask you to do
something physically painful for my sexual satisfaction. Stop asking and
stop making me feel guilty for not wanting to.
Confession #533
What is your idea of foreplay? It's certainly not mine....Why don't you have one of your ribs removed so that you can suck your own fucking dick if it's so damn tasty...You seem to think I should be doing it every time we have sex...In your mind it is the most enjoyable act for me on the planet. What about me????? No wonder I've turned into a Desperate Housewife --- wishing for someone else to give me the sex I've been dreaming about for 7 years.
Confession #534
I think I need a divorce. It's not that I don't care about you. I do. You definitely love me way more than I love you. Tonight you brought up the 25000 dollar home equity loan again and used it as an excuse for not having enough leverage to buy a piece of property and turn it over into big money...Like it was my fault or something that we couldn't do it. Yesterday you told me I was deaf and blind and had no common sense. What is wrong with this picture?
Confession #535
I read these confessions to remind myself how lucky I am. Yes, you do play your video games. Yes, you do love your football and hockey. I still don't get how you can be the smartest person I know and yet love wrestling and have the worst taste in music. However, I have never done a load of laundry since we've been married and every morning you walk my dog, even though you are not a dog person, so I can get more sleep before I go to work. I could not even begin listing all that you do for me, but those 2 things alone blow my mind. I am a lucky gal.
Confession #536
I hate your son. I really do. I know I told you that I could 'do this' when you proposed. You gave me every chance to get out before we got married. I said I could handle it. Sometimes I just can't. I know he has mental problems. Bad ones. But lots of times it's just an excuse to be a dumb-ass. I hate how you can bitch and bitch about him. But if I say anything and voice my frustration - then you immediately defend him and attack me.
I am dreading next week. He comes back from summer vacation with his worthless mother. I hate that he's coming back. That's why I'm depressed.
Two more years of school - then he's out. That's it.
And you KNOW that I will not consider having a child with you until he's gone. He will NEVER be around a child of mine. This makes me so sad - especially since I'm finally feeling like I want to have a baby. And I won't.
Confession #537
Sometimes for brief fleeting moment I forget that I am married to the
worlds biggest moron.
If the boys weren't so young, I'd have left years ago.
Confession #538
I often wish I'd never had a child. I know I'd be thrown to the lions if anyone ever heard me say that, but it's true. The few people I've said it to have gone all "oh but you'd miss him" on me. Well, of course I would miss him if he left tomorrow, but if I'd never had him at all, I wouldn't know what I was missing, would I? And if I'd never had him, I wouldn't be trapped in an abusive relationship that I thought I'd gotten out of. There is no "getting out" when you have a child together. The law makes sure of that. You're stuck with them forever. And I know it's wrong to blame that on a child, and I don't--I blame it on the fact I was ignorant enough to have a child in an abusive relationship. I also hate that my life will never be "mine" again. I hate that I will forever be worried about another person the way I worry about my child, and that I will spend the next several years worrying about whether or not I've fucked him up so badly that he will never have a normal life. I hate that I can never be the mother I wish I could be, and that he deserves. I just don't have it in me. I'm selfish and I have problems, and I should have realized my limitations and not given in to the pressure to procreate.
Confession #539
It was me who scratched the SUV !! I backed out of the drive way and hit the garbage can that YOU left setting there for over a week
Confession #540
To my ex-husband:
Confession 1: I lied when I told you that, because we live in different states, the child support payments had to go through the court. It was my decision. I chose to do it that way because I knew you wouldn't pay it if I didn't get it before you could spend it. You've proven me right this summer by changing jobs and not letting your new employer know "for a few months because you needed to catch up on a few bills."
Confession 2: I also lied when I told you that I would try to talk the county attorney out of go after you for the payments that you missed. While you were off "catching up on a few bills", which in your world apparently means buying a new truck and goodness knows what else, I was struggling to make ends meet while at the same time buying school supplies and paying school dues for this coming school year.
I hate you. I. Hate. You. I mean it, I am not just angry. You have fucked around on me so many times. And everytime I have tried to forgive you. I have tried to have a family with you. When you went to bootcamp, I waited, when you were deployed I waited, and every time I wait it seems there is someone else. Another nasty whore who will sleep with a married man. I raise your daughter with very little help from you. I sold some of her clothes before for formula and diapers when you would rather spend money on beer. No matter what you tell me I am a fucking awesome mother. I used to try to make you happy, I no longer give a damn. I only care about my baby and me. I am only with you until I can make money to support myself and my daughter. Soon, I will not have my heart shattered when I find a condom and a wad of $1 bills. I am numb to it now. Go ahead, tell me again I am fat and lazy, tell me again how stupid I am, tell me again how you don't care about me. GO AHEAD YOU FUCKING SMALL DICK FAGGOT!!!!!!!!! Go burn in hell motherfucker. I. Fucking. Hate. You.
Confession #532
Anal sex hurts. Sometimes for days afterward. I would never ask you to do
something physically painful for my sexual satisfaction. Stop asking and
stop making me feel guilty for not wanting to.
Confession #533
What is your idea of foreplay? It's certainly not mine....Why don't you have one of your ribs removed so that you can suck your own fucking dick if it's so damn tasty...You seem to think I should be doing it every time we have sex...In your mind it is the most enjoyable act for me on the planet. What about me????? No wonder I've turned into a Desperate Housewife --- wishing for someone else to give me the sex I've been dreaming about for 7 years.
Confession #534
I think I need a divorce. It's not that I don't care about you. I do. You definitely love me way more than I love you. Tonight you brought up the 25000 dollar home equity loan again and used it as an excuse for not having enough leverage to buy a piece of property and turn it over into big money...Like it was my fault or something that we couldn't do it. Yesterday you told me I was deaf and blind and had no common sense. What is wrong with this picture?
Confession #535
I read these confessions to remind myself how lucky I am. Yes, you do play your video games. Yes, you do love your football and hockey. I still don't get how you can be the smartest person I know and yet love wrestling and have the worst taste in music. However, I have never done a load of laundry since we've been married and every morning you walk my dog, even though you are not a dog person, so I can get more sleep before I go to work. I could not even begin listing all that you do for me, but those 2 things alone blow my mind. I am a lucky gal.
Confession #536
I hate your son. I really do. I know I told you that I could 'do this' when you proposed. You gave me every chance to get out before we got married. I said I could handle it. Sometimes I just can't. I know he has mental problems. Bad ones. But lots of times it's just an excuse to be a dumb-ass. I hate how you can bitch and bitch about him. But if I say anything and voice my frustration - then you immediately defend him and attack me.
I am dreading next week. He comes back from summer vacation with his worthless mother. I hate that he's coming back. That's why I'm depressed.
Two more years of school - then he's out. That's it.
And you KNOW that I will not consider having a child with you until he's gone. He will NEVER be around a child of mine. This makes me so sad - especially since I'm finally feeling like I want to have a baby. And I won't.
Confession #537
Sometimes for brief fleeting moment I forget that I am married to the
worlds biggest moron.
If the boys weren't so young, I'd have left years ago.
Confession #538
I often wish I'd never had a child. I know I'd be thrown to the lions if anyone ever heard me say that, but it's true. The few people I've said it to have gone all "oh but you'd miss him" on me. Well, of course I would miss him if he left tomorrow, but if I'd never had him at all, I wouldn't know what I was missing, would I? And if I'd never had him, I wouldn't be trapped in an abusive relationship that I thought I'd gotten out of. There is no "getting out" when you have a child together. The law makes sure of that. You're stuck with them forever. And I know it's wrong to blame that on a child, and I don't--I blame it on the fact I was ignorant enough to have a child in an abusive relationship. I also hate that my life will never be "mine" again. I hate that I will forever be worried about another person the way I worry about my child, and that I will spend the next several years worrying about whether or not I've fucked him up so badly that he will never have a normal life. I hate that I can never be the mother I wish I could be, and that he deserves. I just don't have it in me. I'm selfish and I have problems, and I should have realized my limitations and not given in to the pressure to procreate.
Confession #539
It was me who scratched the SUV !! I backed out of the drive way and hit the garbage can that YOU left setting there for over a week
Confession #540
To my ex-husband:
Confession 1: I lied when I told you that, because we live in different states, the child support payments had to go through the court. It was my decision. I chose to do it that way because I knew you wouldn't pay it if I didn't get it before you could spend it. You've proven me right this summer by changing jobs and not letting your new employer know "for a few months because you needed to catch up on a few bills."
Confession 2: I also lied when I told you that I would try to talk the county attorney out of go after you for the payments that you missed. While you were off "catching up on a few bills", which in your world apparently means buying a new truck and goodness knows what else, I was struggling to make ends meet while at the same time buying school supplies and paying school dues for this coming school year.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
True Wife Confessions 53 Herbie the Love Bug's Number
Confession #521
To my beloved.. You were and still are the love of my short life. I honestly think we were meant to be. Like we promised that one evening on the Ferris wheel.. We were soulmates. But you couldn't take the pain and handle the separation when I went off to school and when I couldn't afford to come home as often as I wanted to. I feel like you blame me. That look in your eyes.. When I mentioned I was working with a guy on a project... I never left you. I loved you with all my soul.. but.. You gave up on the love we had. I'm sorry I wasn't meaningful enough.
And to the young man I'm seeing now.. I'm sorry these feelings for the other still exist. It hurts me too when you talk about her too.. But that's how and why we meant. I know you will always love her, and I'm okay with that. I want to fall in love you. I worry that I'm not because.. Again, It's a distance relationship. Then I smile and think about how I put up with your pro-wrestling obsession because it makes you happy.. And your happiness makes me laugh and smile.
Confession #522
I think about him everyday, even though it's been more than two years since I've seen him and longer than that since I kissed him. The worst thing about having an affair and deciding to stay with you isn't the guilt, which at times was overwhelming. It's knowing that there is something--someone--else, someone who is smart and funny and passionate about a cause, someone who could have a job making tons of money but chooses to work for a non-profit because he wants to make a difference, someone who makes me laugh, someone I respect, someone who made me feel like I was the most incredible person in the world. One time, he cut a picture of flowers out of a magazine and put them on my desk because "everyone deserves flowers." Funny thing is, I don't think I'd want him now if I was single, but I can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about running into him somewhere, wishing for it, hoping for it, to see how I'd feel after all this time because I've come to realize that though I might not want him, I know I don't want you.
Confession #523
Even though we've been divorced for nearly six years, I still can't manage to get you out of my life. You were evil enough to trap me into violating a court order that I didn't even know about so you could take our son away from me. You managed to ruin my finances, my future, my sanity all for the sake of winning a war I wasn't even fighting with you.
And today I just received another court date so you can try to get more money from me when I don't even make 25% of your yearly salary. Are you out of your mind? What more do you want from me? You have our son, my money, and even though we have joint custody of him, you make all of the decisions. The only thing left is my life.
I hate you more than any one person should have that emotion in them and pray every day that you get run over by one of the trains you work on because you and your family are so fucked up that my son is traumatized by your incessant need to keep up with the Jones'. I cringe at the thought of all the abuse I never reported and hope that you don't poison our son with your filth. I mean who would stay married to a man who confessed he's bisexual?
I have no idea how on earth I managed to get myself into this vulnerable and screwed up position but I guarantee when I get out of it, you will be just like the rest of the scum on the earth and be rotting somewhere in hell.
Confession #524
Last night, when you smiled at me and told me that I was beautiful? You repaired alot of things. Keep it up and I might put my wedding rings back on.
Confession #525
I'm sorry because I've tried to cry and be sad about what I've done, and I can't. I feel the sobs inside of me, and I can't seem to bring them out.
The other night, when you left for poker? The night that I asked you if you even wanted to stop by the house before you went? I was waiting for your friend to stop by - yes, that friend that you are thinking of. He was waiting for me to give him the signal to come by. Its only the first time and he has now made it clear to me that it was the last.
He has decided that we will forget what we did. I can't. I think about it everytime you and I make love. I am imagining that you're him, and remembering the things he did to me.
I love you with all my heart. I just can't stop thinking about your friend. And I'm scared by that. I'm scared because he doesn't want it again and told me that it was beyond wrong. I'm scared because I want to be with you both and this has never happened to me before. This is only something other people do.
I love you. But I'm scared of it.
Confession #526
I love that you're so hairy because it makes me feel less self-conscious about how hairy I am.
Confession #527
You don't know that I posted a profile on an adult website and have been dating, and sleeping with, some of the men I've met online while you've been gone. They treat me better, have more respect and consideration for me, than you have in a very long time.
I got flowers for my birthday. From a man I hadn't even met face to face. I got flowers, cards and visitors when I was in the hospital. From men I've only chatted with or only had dinner with. I actually got to go see a movie! Not a kids' movie. A grown up movie. I get to go dancing. They're more concerned with what I think of them when they dance with me than what all the strangers at the club think of them when they dance. You should try it sometime.
Did you know sex can last longer than 10 minutes?! Did you know I actually am capable of having an orgasm?! Did you know it's possible to sit and just snuggle/cuddle, even all night, without it having to result in intercourse? Snuggling for the sake of snuggling. Touching just for the enjoyment of feeling someone's body next to you. Kissing for kissing's sake and not an item on the checklist of "to do before sex".
Did you know I'm more important than a video game? Or a TV show? Well, at least somebody thinks so. And now I realize it too. And I realize how incredibly miserable I've been. And I realize it's not all my fault.
Last time. Last chance. Going to counseling means more than one visit. If you really want to fix things with us, prove it. Make the appointments with the counselor. Go to them. Work on things. It can't be all on me to do it. It has to be both of us. I'm already half way out the door.
Confession #528
If I do decide to divorce my husband, what's to say that you will be any better? What's to say that you won't leave me like you did 15 years ago? I may not be thrilled in my marriage, but you'll need to work a hell of a lot harder to get me to trust you enough to take that risk. What's more? I am already more in love with you than I care to admit. I never stopped, just tucked it away somewhere.
You scare the shit out of me and thrill me in ways that I can only barely discuss. I fear telling you any of this, as I don't want to seem weak.
Confession #529
Sometimes when I am mad at you, I fart on your pillow. I know it's immature but it makes me feel better knowing that it may still smell when you lay your fat head down.
Confession #530
I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.
I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.
If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.
To my beloved.. You were and still are the love of my short life. I honestly think we were meant to be. Like we promised that one evening on the Ferris wheel.. We were soulmates. But you couldn't take the pain and handle the separation when I went off to school and when I couldn't afford to come home as often as I wanted to. I feel like you blame me. That look in your eyes.. When I mentioned I was working with a guy on a project... I never left you. I loved you with all my soul.. but.. You gave up on the love we had. I'm sorry I wasn't meaningful enough.
And to the young man I'm seeing now.. I'm sorry these feelings for the other still exist. It hurts me too when you talk about her too.. But that's how and why we meant. I know you will always love her, and I'm okay with that. I want to fall in love you. I worry that I'm not because.. Again, It's a distance relationship. Then I smile and think about how I put up with your pro-wrestling obsession because it makes you happy.. And your happiness makes me laugh and smile.
Confession #522
I think about him everyday, even though it's been more than two years since I've seen him and longer than that since I kissed him. The worst thing about having an affair and deciding to stay with you isn't the guilt, which at times was overwhelming. It's knowing that there is something--someone--else, someone who is smart and funny and passionate about a cause, someone who could have a job making tons of money but chooses to work for a non-profit because he wants to make a difference, someone who makes me laugh, someone I respect, someone who made me feel like I was the most incredible person in the world. One time, he cut a picture of flowers out of a magazine and put them on my desk because "everyone deserves flowers." Funny thing is, I don't think I'd want him now if I was single, but I can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about running into him somewhere, wishing for it, hoping for it, to see how I'd feel after all this time because I've come to realize that though I might not want him, I know I don't want you.
Confession #523
Even though we've been divorced for nearly six years, I still can't manage to get you out of my life. You were evil enough to trap me into violating a court order that I didn't even know about so you could take our son away from me. You managed to ruin my finances, my future, my sanity all for the sake of winning a war I wasn't even fighting with you.
And today I just received another court date so you can try to get more money from me when I don't even make 25% of your yearly salary. Are you out of your mind? What more do you want from me? You have our son, my money, and even though we have joint custody of him, you make all of the decisions. The only thing left is my life.
I hate you more than any one person should have that emotion in them and pray every day that you get run over by one of the trains you work on because you and your family are so fucked up that my son is traumatized by your incessant need to keep up with the Jones'. I cringe at the thought of all the abuse I never reported and hope that you don't poison our son with your filth. I mean who would stay married to a man who confessed he's bisexual?
I have no idea how on earth I managed to get myself into this vulnerable and screwed up position but I guarantee when I get out of it, you will be just like the rest of the scum on the earth and be rotting somewhere in hell.
Confession #524
Last night, when you smiled at me and told me that I was beautiful? You repaired alot of things. Keep it up and I might put my wedding rings back on.
Confession #525
I'm sorry because I've tried to cry and be sad about what I've done, and I can't. I feel the sobs inside of me, and I can't seem to bring them out.
The other night, when you left for poker? The night that I asked you if you even wanted to stop by the house before you went? I was waiting for your friend to stop by - yes, that friend that you are thinking of. He was waiting for me to give him the signal to come by. Its only the first time and he has now made it clear to me that it was the last.
He has decided that we will forget what we did. I can't. I think about it everytime you and I make love. I am imagining that you're him, and remembering the things he did to me.
I love you with all my heart. I just can't stop thinking about your friend. And I'm scared by that. I'm scared because he doesn't want it again and told me that it was beyond wrong. I'm scared because I want to be with you both and this has never happened to me before. This is only something other people do.
I love you. But I'm scared of it.
Confession #526
I love that you're so hairy because it makes me feel less self-conscious about how hairy I am.
Confession #527
You don't know that I posted a profile on an adult website and have been dating, and sleeping with, some of the men I've met online while you've been gone. They treat me better, have more respect and consideration for me, than you have in a very long time.
I got flowers for my birthday. From a man I hadn't even met face to face. I got flowers, cards and visitors when I was in the hospital. From men I've only chatted with or only had dinner with. I actually got to go see a movie! Not a kids' movie. A grown up movie. I get to go dancing. They're more concerned with what I think of them when they dance with me than what all the strangers at the club think of them when they dance. You should try it sometime.
Did you know sex can last longer than 10 minutes?! Did you know I actually am capable of having an orgasm?! Did you know it's possible to sit and just snuggle/cuddle, even all night, without it having to result in intercourse? Snuggling for the sake of snuggling. Touching just for the enjoyment of feeling someone's body next to you. Kissing for kissing's sake and not an item on the checklist of "to do before sex".
Did you know I'm more important than a video game? Or a TV show? Well, at least somebody thinks so. And now I realize it too. And I realize how incredibly miserable I've been. And I realize it's not all my fault.
Last time. Last chance. Going to counseling means more than one visit. If you really want to fix things with us, prove it. Make the appointments with the counselor. Go to them. Work on things. It can't be all on me to do it. It has to be both of us. I'm already half way out the door.
Confession #528
If I do decide to divorce my husband, what's to say that you will be any better? What's to say that you won't leave me like you did 15 years ago? I may not be thrilled in my marriage, but you'll need to work a hell of a lot harder to get me to trust you enough to take that risk. What's more? I am already more in love with you than I care to admit. I never stopped, just tucked it away somewhere.
You scare the shit out of me and thrill me in ways that I can only barely discuss. I fear telling you any of this, as I don't want to seem weak.
Confession #529
Sometimes when I am mad at you, I fart on your pillow. I know it's immature but it makes me feel better knowing that it may still smell when you lay your fat head down.
Confession #530
I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.
I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.
If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.
Monday, August 21, 2006
True Wife Confessions 52 Pick Up
Confession #511
Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.
I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.
Confession #512
When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.
Confession #513
I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.
Confession #514
When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.
Confession #515
I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.
Confession #516
I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.
Confession #517
You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.
Confession #518
I only married you because everyone told me not to.
Confession #519
Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you
Confession #520
When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.
Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.
I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.
Confession #512
When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.
Confession #513
I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.
Confession #514
When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.
Confession #515
I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.
Confession #516
I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.
Confession #517
You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.
Confession #518
I only married you because everyone told me not to.
Confession #519
Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you
Confession #520
When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.
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