Wednesday, December 06, 2006

True Wife Confession 129-LZ Aka The Hindenburg

Confession #1281

Sweetheart, I love you, you are my everything! I wish I could give you the confidence you deserve because you are awesome. A wonderful father and a loving husband, I couldn't have asked for more. I was blessed when God gave you to me. We've been through alot, ups and downs but in the end we love each other with all our hearts and souls. I thank God for you and for the boys and want you to know how much I love you, always and forever.

I write this because after reading all these confessions, I realize how truly good I have it. I will always cherish what we have. I Love you!

Confession #1282

Before we got married, my parents warned me that you probably would never be able to support us. I told them they were wrong, and even if they were right, I didn't care, because I could support us. Five years later, I'm beginning to think they were right. And I was wrong... I do care.

Confession #1283

I love you with all of my heart and I understand the type of job that you have. We have only been with each other for 9 months now and within them months we have made so much with each other. We have invested into each other life and understand each other. But, I hate when people ask you “ When are you going to get married” and you look at them like never, why in the hell are we in a relationship if it is not leading up to that. I have supported you and respected your vision with everything that you wanted to do. I have been there for you, but please tell me if we are not working up to that, because I don’t want to waste your time and please don’t waste mine.

Confession #1284

Darling; I love you. We have been with each other for 15 years. I've never
been with anyone else and I want to. I want to feel another man inside me. I
used to be happy that you were my only one. But now I hate it. I want to
know what it is like to be touched by another man. To be loved by him. I
think I want to know what it is like more than I want to be with you. We are
more like room mates than husband and wife. But I have our babies to think
of. That is the only thing that keeps me with you. The first chance I get.
I'm going to find out what it feels like.

Confession #1285

we've been friends for so long now that I can't remember a time when you weren't. I adore you to pieces and I know you feel the same. We also have a 'history' that is becoming more and more a regular part of our present. It's good, and your kisses make my toes curl and every nerve in my body alive, but if I'm being completely honest... when it comes right down to it, you're a selfish lover. I ALWAYS make sure you have a fantastic orgasm. You? You always make sure you do too.
Me? Well, let's just say that today on this thanksgiving day, I'm thankful for my silver bullet... because unlike you, HE always makes sure I'm SATISFIED!

Confession #1286

This morning you were so sweet; cramming your butt into little one's chair to have a 'tea party' with him, singing "Twinkle, twinkle..." with him while you explained the importance of socks too him. These are the days I love you so much!

I wish you would be so patient with me and my fatness. It disappoints me, too, that I keep gaining weight! I do feel bad that I am so fat and feel sorry that you have to have such a big fat wife; but I hope one day to finally get my ass together and lose this lard. I hope that you stick around long enough to appreciate it.

I'm sorry, Honey, I hate it too...

You are such a sweet daddy...

We both deserve so much better!

Confession #1287

I killed the fish. It wasn't mine, I never wanted it, It became my responsiblity after our daughter killed the first one from neglect. I killed it in a very hunane way. I feel tremendous guilt. I was pushed to do it after I saw that you used our strainer to clean its bowl. I can't live, eat, cook, with the same utensisls that you have been using to clean the fish bowl -- and I had no idea you were doing this until I saw pebbles in the strainer. that is just gross, and unhealthy and our health as a family comes first. I asked, sooo many times to find that fish a new home and nobody stepped up. So, now he's dead, and God forgive me. I just can't deal with another responsibility..... I am so very sorry, I feel like shit. Then again, I always feel like shit.

Confession #1288

O I hate walking the dog with you. If I never had to walk the dog with
you again I would throw a party with champagne and little pointy hats.
It is boring, it makes my feet hurt, and it uses up way too much of my
free time. But I do it because it makes you happy, and I don't even
bitch the entire time about how I hate it. I am pleasant and


Confession #1289

I've already bought your Christmas present, it's perfect and I know it's exactly what you want. And I know you haven't even given 5 minutes of thought toward what you should get for me. I have a wish list on Amazon, and I drop hints when we are talking about Christmas and somehow it will still be a miracle if I get something I actually really want from you.

Confession #1290

Sometimes I check your email. Not because I suspect anything or think you might be hiding something - just because I know I can. And you know what, there's nothing to find. You get funny jokes from your brother, and sappy forwards from your grandma, and junk mail about ordering new contact lenses. And I love you because there is no porn, no questionable emails from mysterious women, no solicitations from chat rooms, etc. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

I'd have killed the fish too.. only I wouldn't have felt the least bit bad about it. I hate fish.

Anonymous said...


He asked if he had to get me anything for Christmas. "Can't I just take you out to dinner?" I pointed him to my wishlist on Amazon. I sent him an email with links in it; all he had to do was click. Two nights ago I forced him to sit down and purchase something from the list for me online. He complained and cursed the entire time.

Next damn Christmas my present to him will be: not having to get me anything for Christmas. Every time I want to buy him something for Christmas, I'll spend the money on myself instead. There will be a lot of presents under the tree. For ME.

I offer this idea to you freely, sister to sister, because it makes me feel so good thinking about it. I actually am almost over how awful it felt to hear him groaning and swearing about buying me a present ... that's how powerful this makes me feel.

Anonymous said...

to 10:36 anonymous:
The kicker is I WANT to buy him stuff. I love the look on his face when he opens something he knows I worked really hard to find just for him. He wants an out-of-print DVD? I call every movie store in a 100 mile radius and google until my fingers fall off. He wants an expensive miter saw that I keep telling him we don't have the money for, so I save every last penny so I can put it under the tree. Is he just lazy? Why doesn't he get excited about finding thoughtful gifts for me?

Anonymous said...

1:16 -- 10:36 here. I know. I love giving him things too. I save presents for him all year, and when I find something I know he'll love, it's a rush.

It's just that the scene we went through a couple of days ago made me so freaking miserable that I think it has sucked a lot of the joy out of that process for me. After that scene, I'm afraid that if in three months I find something I know he'll love, I'll flash on the awful cursing, swearing, groaning, whining tantrum he had while clicking on two Amazon links, and I'll feel like crap all over again. And this will happen repeatedly right up to the holidays next year, when he will have another meltdown because getting me something is such a burden.

If I remove him from the equation entirely, I'll feel bad for not getting him anything ... but at least I'll be able to enjoy Christmas and presents in some way.

I hope. I hope he hasn't poisoned the whole thing for me.

Anonymous said...


Within THOSE months. Not THEM. Is proper grammar really so much to ask?

Anonymous said...

Look, I am an English professor at a major university, and it never has occured to me ONCE to come on here expecting perfect grammar. When a person is upset and wants to release feelings, I am certain she is not so concerned about spelling, punctuation, and word usage. If I received a letter or essay from a student or in a business setting, I would feel obligated to correct the one communicating to me. But on a confessions board? You must be kidding me! I'm pretty sure that proper grammar is the least of her worries right now.

Anonymous said...

10:04, do you hate fish because your organ smells like one?

Robin in NJ said...

#1284....and the first time you do find out you will cry and think that your heart is breaking because if you love your husband you will want him to be the one who makes your toes curl and lights you up from the inside isn't always easy or fair...

Anonymous said...

10:04 -- thanks, it always helps to hear from someone who can relate, which is why the comment section helps so much.
4:58 -- you're a cunt. Fuck off and get over your own obvious vagina issues. See a Dr. if you stink.

Anonymous said...

#1289 and 10:36--My husband is this way too. He never ever ever thinks about what to get me. We had a huge fight about it over Mothers Day. I love getting him stuff because I love the idea of finding something that is perfect and THOUGHTFUL for each specific person. A friend of mine gave us a book called The 5 Love Languages (or something close to that--The 5 Languages of Love?) Anyway--it talks about each person having a way that they RECIEVE love. If the other person doesn't express their love that way, you don't feel it--whether they really mean it or not. You have to learn to express love the way your partner recieves it--even if it isn't something that is meaningful to you. One of the "languages" is receiving gifts. It doesn't have to be diamond rings. It can be a note left on the bathroom mirror while you are sleeping. It is just the idea that the person loves you enough to think of you, and express it! The kicker is that you (he) has to be willing to learn it. I've been working on my husband's "language" and I THINK he is working on mine, because there is already something under the tree (I'm just crossing my fingers that it isn't some "free gift with purchase" from something he got at Home Depot--although, the fact that he thought to actually wrap it and put my name on it MIGHT be a step up? We'll see. . .my fingers are crossed.) Sorry for rambling, but if you get a chance, check out the book. If you can get your husband to read it, it might REALLY help. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I love the party with champagne and pointy hats! AHAHAHAHAH! it's the hats that's got me!

Anonymous said...

To #1284- I have been with my one and only for 17 years. However, I have the same feelings as you. I almost crossed that line, but didn't. It was hot, steamy and the chemistry was intense, but in the end it wasn't worth the risk of losing the love of my life and hurting my babies. I still wonder. I still fantasize... but the price is too high. A good friend of mine has BTDT and her support has been immeasurable. I hope that my support for you will help in some way. In any case, my experience will help me to influence my daughters to explore in life- unlike me.

Anonymous said...

Does 1286 seem familiar to anyone else, or is it because I wrote it and only remember thinking it?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 10.39.

I was the one that wrote that.
Thank you so much. I can't tell you how you have helped. I just wish things had been different that's all. I wonder what it would be like. I'm curious and I wish I had "lived" a little when I was younger. I hear my friends talk about different men and wonder what it would be like. I thank you so much. I think I'll continue to fantasise. Lets face it, it's probably better than the real thing anyway.

Thanks thanks thanks

Anonymous said...

#1284- 10.39 here-
It is hard to let the time go by and to heal. I want you know that you will have these feelings for a while- i still do occasionally. Somedays it takes a serious, conscious EFFORT to push them away. What I felt with the other person was deep and real-however,fleeting- but what i have with my husband is deeper and extremely valuable.

I experienced something the other day I wanted to share- I was at my kids' school and saw a mom who I know went through a divorce this summer. I thought of how she might feel if she was dating- how it must feel to go through the emotional roller coaster with new boyfriends/dates? how it must feel to start to like someone, then either be hurt by them or find out you can't really stand them. I saw her and the thought that popped into my head-without warning- was "NOTHING could be better than what I have right now."

I need to listen to my trusted friends who encourage me to stay on track with my family- that being with someone else or being alone is only fun for a short time- and I won't be able to get back what I have right now.

sorry so long winded... hang in there sweetie- you are not alone.