Friday, December 22, 2006

True Wife Confession 138 Pine Needles embedded into the carpet

Confession #1371

Deleted by author's request

Confession #1372

You know how I tell you that I miss you when you are away on your week long business trips? It is a lie. I actually enjoy having you not at home. I get so much done and don't feel like I have to jump up and take care of your every whim. I hate that I feel this way. It tells me so much about our relationship that I can't wait for you to leave on your next trip. It has made me realize that I don't really need you at all. That I can do everything on my own, because I DO everything with no help or input from you. And I am tired of being secondary to your career, your friends, even your things. I understand that you need to make a good living, but you could get a job that would not require you to be gone 20 days out of every month. It was the death knell of our already strained relationship. Do not be surprised when you come home and I am not there. It is time to put an end to this farce of a relationship. We don't even know each other anymore.

Confession #1373

It's been over two years, and I've reached the point where I realize that you aren't Satan. But you know what? You are definitely, by anyone's standards, an asshole.

Confession #1374

I finally meant it when I said goodbye. I know you don't think I did...but I did. The itch for you has finally been soothed. I do love you, but I won't miss how I felt.

Confession #1375

deleted by request of the author

Confession #1376

I speculate that you have a fear of commitment. I don’t know where this fear comes from, as your personal, relational, and family history illustrates no rational reason for you to act like this. We’ve been together (albeit off and on) for seven years, and you still won’t give me a straight answer about whether we will be moving in together when our respective leases are up. We’ve been together for seven years, and you still won’t address the topic of marriage. We’ve been together for seven years and all the rest of our friends are married, and have houses and babies. Our relationship status makes me feel a tad dysfunctional, like I am a lesser human being not worthy of any actual commitment other than the “sure I’ll stay over tonight” humdrum that is our life together.

I love you, but I don’t want to be forced to dump you. I say this because your fear of adulthood is making me dislike you. Fish or cut bait man! Good god. We’re such a fun couple! What’s the problem here?

Confession #1377

While I agreed to try a threesome, I explicitly said that we should approach the other woman together, so that she would know we were both okay with it, and would hopefully feel less threatened than if she was propositioned by you alone. You agreed completely at the time. I thought we were doing so well at this.

Instead, you waited until I left the house and then put the moves on her. You kissed her even though she expressed doubt about it. I didn’t know anything until I returned from my business trip.

That sucks. I am tempted to call the whole thing off. I do want to experiment and I like this woman and I find her attractive, but I am SO not cool with you doing this shit without my prior knowledge, and making our mutual friend uncomfortable into the bargain.

And you don’t get to make me out to be the jealous wife. You know perfectly well that I am fine with the idea of experimenting. The ONE rule I laid out was that you tell me in advance.

You’ve already broken that rule four times.

Confession #1379

Sometimes I am afraid that if you really knew me - really - you might not like me so much.

Confession #1380

I found the receipt for my Christmas present. But I will never tell you and I will act totally surprised when I open it.

You did good this year, thank you.


Anonymous said...


I did the same! When will they learn not to leave them in places we *will* find them (mine left it in his wallet then asked me to get his shopping money out so we could doublecheck something)?

At the same time, its nice to get that "awww he really *does* get me" feeling isn't it? I never realised how much I missed it until now.

(Stupid ex, will not go there. Deep breathing!)

Anonymous said...

1371 - It was you, or someone like you, who destroyed my life. It was your bed he was in when my daughter woke in the night crying for her Daddy. It was you, with nothing to gain but a few cheap thrills, who ripped away the foundation upon which I had planned my life. My marriage. It was you who took away my children's stable family. Yeah, you had an accomplice and I blame him more than I could ever blame you, but you are here and he is not so I am talking to you now. You are an affront to all that is good and decent in this world. You are not happy because you don't deserve to be happy and sometimes life is fair. Hell yeah, I'm bitter. I have a right to be. But it has been 3 years now and I am happier this Christmas than you are, because I do deserve to be happy. I will know I am totally over it when I no longer rejoice in your pain.

Anonymous said...

1380: Yup. I did it, too (don't leave the reciept in with the presents you want me to wrap for the kids, silly!). Yes, I acted surprised. And yes, I was really delighted that he'd actually LISTENED to me about what I wanted. Good job, baby!