Friday, December 29, 2006

True Wife Confession 140 mini marshmallows

Confession #1391

To my so called husband:

Today was Christmas, a time to be with you wife & kids and enjoy the day. So I thought. This was going to be our last Christmas together. You couldn't refrain from texting your whore of a girlfriend for one day and then got pissed off at me because I saw the message! How does that work??!! How can I be blamed for the affair that you are having? You tell me she is just a friend, but I'm sorry there is no need for a married man w/3 kids to text a single girl (who used to be a friend of mine) over 120 times a day. I don't know how much you actually talk on the phone, but I'm sure it's a whole lot & she probably calls you so it won't be on the phone bill. You disappeared 3 nights ago all night long, told me you slept in your truck, do you really think I believe that line of bullshit? It's 40 degrees outside & you had on a t-shirt & the heater in your truck barely works. UGHHHHHHHH!! I get so frustrated at your lies. If you are man enough to have an affair, why can't you be man enough to admit it.

I truly hate you for the things you are doing to me right now. You are putting me through hell at what should be one of the best times of my life. I just graduated from college, everything was finally starting to go right for us, until I introduced you to her. You've only known her for a month & you're willing to throw away 15 years of being together, not to mention the 3 kids that we have. That really makes me feel like shit. I've never in my life ever thought about killing myself, but lately everyday I think about multiple ways to do it, the only thing that stops me is our kids. I just wanna hurt you & make you feel as miserable as I do. Hell, honestly you would probably be happy and not give a shit.

You now have asked me to separate, obviously. Yet you still want to live in this house with me & our kids. So basically, you want me to live w/you, & let you do whatever the hell you want to do. And you even gave me permission to date whoever I wanted to, but you just couldn't see them or you would kick their ass. Oh and you mentioned us still having sex every once in a while, WTF!!! Are you seriously on drugs or what??? So let me recap this again, you want us to separate & u can see whoever we want but you want me to hide it cuz you couldn't imagine seeing me with anyone else, but you want me to still have sex with you if you want, and of course not mention any of this to our kids? OMG I have never seen such a screwed up way of thinking in my entire life!!!!

I have given you my entire life, I have been with you since I was 14 years old. I have done pretty much anything & everything you have wanted. I feel like you just used me until something better came along. I really now doubt every deployment you had throughout your Navy career, if you can do this shit right in front of me, what the hell would stop you from doing it in multiple states & countries where I don't know anyone.

I feel lost in a world that I really thought I knew so well. I feel like my whole world has crashed in on me & I'm just standing in the middle of it just watching & I can't do anything to fix it. I cry at least once a day, and now seems I am more angry all day long with the entire world, except my kids. I hate that I let a stupid man make me feel like I'm nothing, make me feel like I could never make anyone happy, and make me feel so horrible about myself. I really feel like you've ruined me, you have destroyed my ego, my self esteem, my faith in love, my trust in people, my sense of completeness, and the security of my family.

I really don't want to talk to anyone, I really just wanna crawl in a hole somewhere & just hide. I wanna run away from you, from her, from here. I wanna be alone so bad just so I can try and figure all this out, but I'm really afraid that if I stay alone for too long without seeing my kids, that I will do something I can't take back. Those kids are my only reason for being here right now, let me tell you. I don't want to ruin their life, but god help me cuz I would love to ruin yours. I want to hurt you so bad emotionally that you feel like I do.

Confession #1392

We are just 3 days from our 15th wedding anniversary. I have been asking you for a year to express to me why we are together - why it's worth it all when every time we argue you say we aren't going to make it. Just tell me something you like about me that's not about how I clean up after the kids.....I am successful at everything I do and everyone sees it but you.

I started sleeping with another man this week. I'm not going to want him to leave his wife - I just want to feel wanted. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm going to be with him as much as I can for awhile. I don't even feel bad about it.

Hopefully I can come back to you and still feel loved. He makes me feel happy about myself for now. That's good enough for me. If we didn't have our 4 children, I might leave you but they need us both and I'll stay until they are older. This will just make me feel better. You admit you've been ignoring me for years.

Confession #1393

You're so damn smooth. Everyone at work just thinks you're the man. You drive the coolest truck and manage to look cool slingin parts in a factory. Of course you would be the one to screw the boss. I just want you to know that I know that you live with your parents and arent all that cool. The sex is ok, it takes more than a big dick and I dont think you understand that. The only thing that keeps me coming back is when were alone and you are honest with me I feel like I could fall in love.

Confession #1394

Would it be possible to trust me on SOME parenting decisions? You do not need to be involved in every little thing, offering opposing opinions to every thing I say. It drives me crazy. I say "Maybe she should go to the doctor"- and you pop up to argue how it is just a minor sniffle. I say it's just a slight cold, and you argue that I am letting my child waste away from tuberculosis. Give it a rest.

Confession #1395

I hate it that we work different shifts. You've only been doing this now for a few months, but it seems like forever. It's like this invisible thing that's wedged between us and we barely know each other anymore. Since we rarely spend any time together anymore, when we do, we can't stand to. Everyday this weekend we fought about something. It makes my heart sad. I feel like you are deliberately acting like an asshole and sometimes, to retaliate, I deliberately act like one too. It just sucks and I don't know what to do about it. Because of the kids, I can't work nights and you can't choose your shift. But we REALLY have to do something to change this because we are headed down a terrible path. And I hate that I am basically a single mother.

Also, if you don't start helping me out more with the housework, I am going to hurt you. Really. I can't do it all myself and take care of the kids and work full time. Well, I probably can, but I shouldn't have to. I am sick of being your own personal alarm clock. Because contrary to what you believe, I don't have time to call you to wake you up. That's why you have an alarm clock. Set the damn thing already. And it's REALLY irritating to call you to try and wake you and you ask me to call you back in five minutes, which I do and then you fall back asleep anyway and then blame me when you are late for work.

Boy, it feels good to let this all out.

But I do appreciate the fact that you are the greatest lover I have been with and always make sure that's it's not all about you. I really appreciate that, even if I am not in the mood as much as you are.

And thanks for all my Christmas gifts. You are always great about those too. I could definitely improve there.

Confession #1396

Dear Fiance,

Can I just tell you how much I freaking can't stand your mother sometimes. I mean, I like her which is strange because I can't stand her as well. She is just so damn opinionated and nosey and it kills me. I know her and your ex and ass buddies or something but I have NO DESIRE to be her best bud. Ok? I mean, you have not pushed that off on me but damnit, does every situation in our lives here have to be akward?! I say NO damnit. Can we just do one thing that doesn't require her to pipe up with suggestion or volunteering us for some bullshit? She alright sometimes, but there is always this strange vibe between us and I just want to slap her sometimes. And, it makes me want to slap you because when she wants to lecture you like you're a child and you just sit there. I hate that. Why don't you just tell her it's none of her damn business you know? You say that you can't even hear half the stuff she says and that you just let her say whatever and ignore her, but why can't you just say....thanks but no thanks mom. I guess you just don't want to hurt her feelings. That's really sweet babe, but I can't stand her sometimes!

Confession #1397

What do you have against me relaxing? I swear, Everytime I sit down or (gasp!) try to take a nap - There you are. Trying to get me up and going something. Your wierd pathological need to make sure that I am as high strung and wired as you is disturbing. Doing nothing sometimes is a GOOD thing. This is why I make sure your life insurance is up to date - your death by stroke is a near certainty.

Confession #1398

When I tell you that there is something wrong with your guy-friend...I mean it. I can spot the psychos a mile away and he is one. Stop defending him. Stop trying to explain his wierd behavior.

Confession #1399

I must purge you from my head. So, I intentionally make images that wound me. The day you left me. The day you told me that you didn't want to have a baby with me. The look of fear in your face as you only thought about yourself and fled. I should hate you. But I don't. I never have. So I find more wounding images - you telling me you still had feelings for me after all these years when you found me. That you have a wife and three kids. Children I was apparently not good enough to have with you. I remember the last time we talked on the phone - how sad you sounded when you told me we needed to stop this. How your voice cracked a little. How I cried when I hung up the phone. So, in order to get you out, I find images. Maybe you and your wife are expecting another child? Maybe you and your wife are wildly happy? I don't know - but I must imagine you happy. I must imagine you surrounded by your children. I must imagine that you are wildly in love with your wife. Because if I don't, the temptation to come to you is life threatening for me. Time hasn't made me forget you - but I hope to hell it does.

Confession #1400

For those of you who post, have you ever wondered if people listen to what all you say? Well wonder no more. I was on a certain website one day, a site a lot like this one in fact, except lets call it TruePhilanderingWifeConfessions, when I came upon Xmas gift ideas; one of which said, get him a sundial!

Hmm. A portable sundial instead of a watch. Sounds interesting. So I go to the site and it lists the best seller as the Aquitaine. The description sayz, ”..Henry II was notoriously late for his love trysts with his mistress and eventual wife, Eleanor of Aquitaine (he was usually on a hunt). In 1152 Eleanor had a special, portable sundial created for him so that he'd know when to leave the hunt to meet her.”

I guess I was amused by this no end. I could think of it as sexy, what with a hunt and all. I also guess I thought I could just scratch out the, “eventual wife” part, if that was on the paperwork.

I weigh the pros and cons and decide, romantic! He’ll never be expecting this! Then I go to order it. And whadda’y know! It costs almost as much to mail it to me, as it does for the item itself. You gotta wonder. Just how much do I love this man anyway? I end up justifying it by thinking its just as important to support the Canadians as it is to buy Chinese. Maybe even more so! So I buy a 45 dollar pewter key chain sight unseen.

I guess another way of looking at why I must do the frivolous is, love is blind. Unfortunately the rest of me is not blind. I can actually see quite well. So imagine my surprise when the envelope arrives and I read two things. The first words are, Imitation Pewter, loud and clear across the packaging.

Imitation pewter? What in hell does that mean? Pewter is the least expensive of all metals to begin with! You can get pewter figurines for 5 dollars anymore! So does this mean it’s actually pricier than it may seem? Are these words of encouragement? Why then do I suddenly feel taken?

Ok ok. I do calm down after my initial unease. I’m mean, its here. Wont be sending it back now will I, if it costs another fifteen dollars to mail it 100 miles. I guess I could always drive it back if I needed a day away. Besides, my lover never know and I wont tell him. I’ll just show him how to use it instead.

Well let me tell you. Henry could sure fudge with Eleanor when late, what with the accuracy of this thing. What time is it anyway? Its most definitely one o’clock by the looks of it. Oh no, make that two o’clock. Perhaps three? Geez Mareez! It’s obviously the thought that counts with this! Think real hard and maybe your man will decide to come see you sometime. Because any other way he just won’t make it on time!

I yi yi. What was I thinking? I know what I was thinking. I was thinking this was a lovers thing. He’ll most definitely “get it” when he reads the label. So I read the label. And it says, “”Henry…would know when to leave the hunt to return to his beloved wife.” WHAT? His beloved wife! What happened to romantic unmarried trysts and all that? This must be the cleaned up Wal-Mart version! They can’t even bring themselves to suggest the lovers weren’t married to one another?

Suddenly my last lovers rendezvous revisits my own imagination. This is like way too déjà vu. The packaging has it exactly right. There we are in the hotel room when his cell phone rings and his wife goes, Where are you? Look at the time! Come home right now!

OK OK. I get it universe. This is the great cosmic joke. Merry Xmas lover boy! Here’s a present that endlessly reminds you, your wife is calling! Better get home quick! Never forget the night we both panicked!

So what does everyone think? E Bay? I’ll go one step further I think. Brand new packaging with a story of my own. What does he know of Eleanor and Henry. Ha! I’ll make it about Henry Miller and Anais Nin or something. It'll be the bohemian Xmas instead of the Renaissance Xmas this year. Pays to be an artist sometimes. Doesn't it?


Anonymous said...

1400 needs to get a grip! Seriously, what kind of confession was that? Dude, what are you on?

Anonymous said...


Here's what I think... STOP BANGING A MARRIED MAN, you ho-bag!

Anonymous said...

Go A-non, Go A-non it's yer birthday! We're gonna party like it's yer birthday!

Anonymous said...

Ho-bag, Ho-bag, Ho-bag!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or do most adultresses seem need to find whatever little piece of cyber space to write about thier selfishness and willingness to destroy other peoples lives ?
Justify all you want but you are sick . I guess your married to another soulmate ( oh yeah , go ahead and fall for those lies that he told you for the easy bang ) is probably at home with that wife and children and you, are sitting here surfing the internet looking for anyone or anywhere that will justify your sick self . Dont worry hunny , Im sure he will be able to squeeze you in for a quick 10 minute bang sometime within the next few weeks .

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous about 1400. What the hell are you on.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

1:38 - My god, that's so correct. And it's not just adultresses. It's pretty much any bitch who's leaving bodies in her wake. She has to tell her side of the story, and her justifications, over and over again.

Not to bash 1400, but I just thought that was spot-on.

Anonymous said...

11:59, best. comment. ever.

Seriously. Is it really that damn hard to figure out that screwing someone else's husband does not rank real high on the list of smart decisions? Stupid ho-bag.

Anonymous said...

I'm with the others here -- while I'm sorry about your creepy daddy issues, 1400, maybe you should concentrate more on therapy and less on balling married dudes and stroking your own sad little ego over it.

Anonymous said...

1391. Walk away. Now. that's some sick shit. No. Seriously, just, no. You are too good for that, aren't you? It might be hard, the hardest thing you've ever done. But get up. And walk the fuck away.

Anonymous said...

1391 I was in your position and she was WAS my bestfriend. I stayed like an idiot and I am so miserable I can't stand it. He wanted the same things to live with me, have sex with me, but still see her. I can not I put up with all that bull. He is no longer with her, he is here with me. I took him back it is the biggest mistake of my life. I know how you feel when you say you wanna just end it. I still want to on occasion but I can't I have 5 kiddos to think about. Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

sophia - I'm another Whore who has posted about having a husband and a lover. And (gasp!) enjoying sex! And not wanting my lover to leave his wife cause I am not looking for a new husband, so all the "You'll be alone and crying cause he doesn't want you" rolls off my back.

There are more women then we can know who lead these double lives. Every one of my girlfriends who I have told - have not only been supportive, but they almost all have lovers on the side as well. And no, Haters, we aren't trailer trash women. We are highly successful, educated, professional women.

I think that you hit it when you mentioned that the ones who are so busy calling others out for being "whores" will be mighty lonely when their self righteous POV crumbles - and it will. I had one of those too - until my epiphany.

Anonymous said...

Anything one writes which is real, is a form of confession. I am the author of 1400. Are you suprised that a philanderer would make light of philandering? Should this site be only for the bitch and moan confession? I think not.

Im not sorry to be married and have a lover besides. No apologies from me. You know nothing of my life. Nor I of yours. If an affair is not your style, then dont have one. Or is this site to be read and written by only the holier than thou.

Anonymous said...

Like I said before 1400, Get A Grip! You are soooooo out there hon. There ain't no "holier than thou" here. To me right is right and wrong is wrong. And CHEATING is wrong. You are a fuckin' cheating, homewrecking slut. You're ridiculous! So There!

Anonymous said...

If you can justify cheating, you've obviously never gone through the pain that it causes.
Justify it all you want, it still hurts people you love and people you don't even know.

Anonymous said...

Hey 1391-

You're going through what I found to be the hardest part of the split with the cheating husband.
But I promise you 100% that YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN... it's just going to take some time. Just make sure you don't get on the "one more chance" roller coaster. Your husband sounds just as selfish as my ex... he wanted to keep his mistress, and me to stay his wife and look after him the way I stupidly always had, too.
It's been just over two years now, and his latest attempt to reconcile was Christmas night, if you can believe that.
So, it worked out pretty well... my ex is still with his twinkie, but his family can't stand her, he's lost the respect of most of his family because of the whole thing, and I happen to know the pair of them fight constantly.
The homewrecking twinkie got her man, but he's tried to get back together with me every month or so since we split.
And I no longer have to spend my life with a man who never treated me well in the first place! I also have a wonderful male companion who treats me the way I deserve.
So, see, karma IS at work.

Anonymous said...

7:22 is correct.

When my husband cheated on me he hurt:

- me

- our son, who had a mother only half there while trying to deal with it all

- my elderly parents, who were devastated that the man they loved like a son could be so callous, and were worried sick about me

- his parents, especially his mother, who wondered what she had done wrong in raising a man who could treat his wife that way

- his sisters, who had always looked up to him, and now admit they can't see him the same way

- his grandparents and aunts and uncles, who are still disgusted with him

- the parents and sisters of his young mistress

I think if a lot of people who cheat knew how many people would be hurt by their actions, they may have a change of heart.

And, you may think you want to leave your spouse, or not care if they find husband cheated on me as a way to end our marriage... but he tries constantly to reconcile with me four years later, and is still stalling on the divorce, while I've moved on and found someone much better than he ever was.
He even said the other night that I wound up having the last laugh.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, you narcissist bints who fancy yourselves sexual libertines, but getting a tingle in your huge blubbery vulvas is hardly an excuse to wreck lives. Here's hoping karma gives you exactly what you deserve, and hard.

Anonymous said...

What many women don't realize when they get involved with another woman's man is that you are involved with a man just as selfish as you. Many mistresses hope and long for their "man" to leave his wife/girlfriend/whatever for them. And that's great. When he does come to you- most likely it's not because he left his wife, it's because his wife made him leave, even though he'll tell you different.

And when you find yourself at home figuring out what to do with that man you "sacrificed it all for" that is gone screwing another woman- you can't even call him on it. Afterall, you didn't mind he was a man-whore when you got involved with you can't mind now.

Karma IS a bitch...and watching it from the sidelines is wonderful.

Unknown said...

This is actually an interestng ongoing commentary. There may be times when having an affair is not about selfishness but about giving. Just because you personally cant imgaine that, does not mean that good can not be found. Having an affair is for me, not about wrecking lives, but about keeping families together. And no one here can prove Im wrong, since its MY life and I recognize this truth. You can only tell us about YOUR life. There's a big difference.

Once you know the facts sometimes its not a black and whilte world. Ive learned not to be so quick to judge. Right is not always right and wrong is not always wrong. The older I get the more I understand that.

There are a lot of presumptions floating around in these comments. Most of which when the facts are known, would quckly evaporate.

Plus, Im not sure what some of the comments even mean. "He was a man whore." Whats a man whore? Or a "Ho Bag?" I know what a ho-down is, but not a ho bag. And calling a woman "dude?" Or how bout "So there!" I personally like that one. lol These comments say more about the poster than the philanderer.

Tossing words around that make no sense but are meant to be insulting I guess, teaches us nothing. To me this site is to gain insite. And plenty of women on this site are involved in affairs. Plain and simple. So maybe its about time to start giving it some thought about why this is happening. Not throwing out insults and pretending Aint it just awful!

And just for the record, I do not consider myself a whore or a slut. I havent come up with a label for me as of yet. I also dont recall using the word soulmate in my confession. And Daddy issues? Where did that come from. My lover is younger than I am. So my confession it seems has grown into everyone elses story, and left me pretty well far behind. Thank you. Im glad to have been of service to those of you who love to be offended. lol

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a bunch of blubbering bullshit to me Sophia. You just spewed alot of very hot air. Again, get a grip. That was all a very lame attempt at a bullshit justification. You are a ho, you probably do have major daddy issues, being a cheater versus not being a cheater IS black and white. One is right and the other is wrong. Plain and simple. It is delusional to even imply that cheating is keeping a family together. You are very sad.

Anonymous said...

So, Sophia... what you're saying is your spouses really wouldn't mind that you two are banging each other? They'd have no problem with it?

Anonymous said...

Sophia, what a load of steaming, crazy-sounding horseshit. Is it tiring, worshiping yourself all day, as bad people are wont to do?

Perhaps it might be wise to divert some of that energy from desperate rationalization to therapy.

Also: "not about selfishness but about giving"? Now that's pure comedy gold!

Anonymous said...

Does your husband know you're having an affair? Does your boyfriend's wife know? It's so okay, than you should have no problem telling them.

Anonymous said...

1391 - I went through exactly what you are with my husband. Twice - the last affair being 6 years ago. At that point, I didn't care anymore - I wanted him out of my life, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get him to leave me alone. I worked to pay the van payment and daycare for our three kids. We got evicted from the place we were renting, and I picked a new place to live. My husband also said the, "Date whoever but don't let me see them" crap. I went out on one date - a friend purposely mentioned it in front of him and holy hell, did the shit hit the fan.

He wound up in the mental wing at a hospital and I don't know if that's the straw that broke the camel's back, or a combination of me not caring and that, but he changed into the best husband I could ever imagine. I am not trying to give you hope - the only thing I want to tell you is to act like you don't care. Act mysterious. He knows you're there for him and there's no fear to continue this relationship.

Anonymous said...

1400-what comes around goes around. One of my biggest regrets in my life is the way my relationship came about with my husband. I'm glad I met him, married him, have a family with him,etc. But he was married at the time and I will never forgive myself for what we put his ex thru. At the time, she wished "some little bitch would come into your life and rip everything away from you like you did to me" in her words. Well, what comes around, goes around. My husband cheated for a year, and I just found out 6 months ago. He says he's sorry, professes his love and wants to move on. But the pain it has caused is unbearable, and I can't help but think I had it coming.
Imagine yourself someday with the man of your dreams and he cheats with a whore who could care less about you or your feelings, like you now.
It will happen to you. Everything comes full circle.

Anonymous said...

Right is right and wrong is wrong and it is acceptable to confess to secretly hating 'loved' ones and unacceptable to confess to loving more than one?

Some of us realize that ending marriages to be with other people also hurts out spouses, children, parents, siblings...

And yes, my husband knows

Anonymous said...

Yah, yah....blah, blah, blah. Still doesn't get you any respect. And Anon 3:27, sounds like you need to get some new friends. Whore!