Wednesday, December 20, 2006

True Wife Confession 136 Freaking candy canes

Confession #1351

My shift ends at half past the hour, not on the hour. That means if I'm working 3-11, it means I'm working 3 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. If I am not done with patient care or giving report to the next nurse at that time, I don't just get to leave. I'm aware that the hospital does not want to pay me for that time; I don't dawdle. I finish my work as quickly as possible, then I walk to my car in remote parking, then I drive the 45 minutes home. Why do you care when I get home? Half the time you're not home, anyway. You do not need to call me at 12:15 or even 12:45 to ask where I am. I am on my way home.
This would bother me less if you actually got home when you said you would. I don't appreciate the double standard.

Your unpredictable schedule (which is nominally 9 to 5, Monday through Friday) makes it impossible for me to work at my job. Do you really not understand this?

Confession #1352

After your meltdown last week about how awful it was to have to buy Christmas presents for me, I resolved that every time I found something for you for your next birthday, or Just-Because, I'd not buy it. Instead, I'd look for something for myself. And my present to you every year would be not having to buy me things, because I'd already have created a stockpile of nice presents for myself.

So far I've not-bought two things, so 'll be hitting Origins soon for some of their white tea stuff. The two things I would have bought you would have been about as much as one jar of that moisturizer.

I'd get the Five Languages of Love to try and understand your point of view, as a kind fellow poster suggested, except that you have no problem telling ME what YOU want for Christmas or your birthday. It's just returning the favor that causes you to moan, groan, whine, complain, and become a fountain of obscenities.

I would like to be able to look for things you'll like, and to enjoy watching you enjoy them, but if you're going to be a selfish fuck about it, at least I'll have some good moisturizer.

Confession #1353

I know you and I have been together for a year and a half, but it feels
like so much longer. Who knew that we could find love through a computer?
Thank you for being so wonderful to me & my family, kind to strangers (like
that old lady in the grocery store the other day who needed help with
butter!!! lol), sympathetic when I'm homesick for the East Coast, and for
loving me completely and unconditionally. I realized last night when I came
home from work and you were already home waiting for me, just how much you
value us. You had been working so hard these last few months, putting in
12-14 hour days and going to sleep early because you were so tired. You came
home early last night so we could have a nice meal and cuddle time during
the Monday Night football game. And just as I thought things couldn't get
better, you give me money so I can buy a plane ticket home for
Christmas...just one of my many gifts you've worked so hard to give me this
year. I'm so thankful that I have you and your parents. I am still
dumbfounded that I have such great in-laws and such a compassionate soulmate
in you. I love you Bubs. You are the world to me. My very own knight in
shining armor. By the way, I absolutely LOVE the diamond bracelet you gave
me.

Confession #1354

Thank you for being so supportive of the breastfeeding. Our son is very fortunate to have been nursed as long as he has. He'll wean when he's ready (or when I am, whichever comes first).

I have told you multiple times that my mother and my sister react negatively to peanuts. So stop feeding peanut butter to our toddler! Just wait until he's two years old.

Confession #1355

I am tired of you. I'm tired of your laziness, I'm tired of your insensitivity, I'm tired of trying to help you 'get it' and 'get me'.

I have had one of the worst day sof my life today, and what do you do, you come home from our dog being euthanized and fall asleep on the couch. You do not try to console me or comfort me..no sirreee Bob, you come home and you fall asleep.

I am tired of being a blip on the radar of your life. I'm tired of the charade of being the dutiful little pastors wife, just happy to be here. I'm tired.

I'm tired of being ignored, I'm tired of not being valued and I'm tired of living this lie.

I am going home for a week. I'm going to decide if I want to be married to you or not anymore. Right now buddy, the odds are not in your fucking favor.

I have been there for you more so than anyone in your life, yet and still, you treat me like shit. I'm so much more deserving. And you are right, I can do much better than you with your half assed ways. And you are half assed in EVERYTHING that you do.

So, enjoy New Years Eve alone! Maybe if you started giving a shit, I'd stick around.

Confession #1356

You once told me that you'd love me, sex or no sex, kids or no kids. I gave you a son. Now leave me alone.

Confession #1357

Well I told you. I finally told you almost everything I had to say to you. I told you I didn’t love you anymore. I told you I wanted a separation. But I still lied through my teeth. I told you there was no one else. I told you I’m not unfaithful. I lied. I think I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry I told you the somewhat truth. You want another chance. You’ve had more chances then you’re worth. I gave you all of me and you threw it away like a piece of garbage. Now when you think you want me back, I’m nowhere to be found. I’m lost inside myself and I found someone willing to take the time to make me whole again. Coax me out of my dark place and pick up the pieces you shattered so long ago. Why should I give myself to you again? It won’t be any different, you’ve proven that time and time again. They say everyone in your life is to teach you something. You’ve taught me to not take myself for granted. You’ve given me three wonderful children. But you haven’t given me what I wanted. I don’t want to work it out. I’m done with it all. I want to get on with my life, with our without the man that will make me whole again. I hope you’ll understand. I really do hope you find the love you are meant to find. I hope you learn from your mistakes with me and never hurt another human being like you’ve hurt me again.


Confession #1358

Sometimes I get really angry about the fact that you get to sleep/lay in bed for 45 minutes to an hour after I get up. Those are the morning I ‘accidentally’ leave the uber-bright hallway light on—the one the shines right on your face while you’re lying in bed.


Confession #1359

I want a nicer, bigger house. Then I'll think about having another baby.

Confession #1360

UGH- I am soo tired- I don't believe what happened to us- I feel like I am always apologising and most times I sure as hell don't mean it and a lot of times its an involuntary response to your bitching and picking at me- "well, It would have been fun but"- followed by something that I did that you deem annoying - talking, laughing, being too kind- or when you got a "headache" ( aww pooor baby!) trying to help you out- and offering to leave the party or get you some coffee or something to eat- I was told- "leave me alone- stop talking and go away"- when I did you miraculously got "better" and then it was my fault for not noticing- fuck! I can't figure out what you want anymore-. I know you did have fun- but you have to act like you didn't, so you had something to complain AT ME about. And another thing- when you go to work and you get angry if I don't drop everything to answer the phone and BS all day long- then as soon as you get home you want to eat ( it's like 1:00 P.M) then the kids want to eat again at 5pm-I end up cooking and doing dishes ALL DAMN DAY LONG! Also, sleeping on the couch does NOT mean that you are spending time with the kids- never doing any laundry or washing a dish makes you suck! When you have been at work ( out of town) for 2 fucking days, don't get pissed when you walk in the door on the phone with your asshole friend, and no one runs to greet you- hello? - its pretty obvious that we aren't important- you can talk to him anytime. DO NOT walk in the door on the phone- asshole! Oh- and "do my laundry I need it by tonight"- but you can't switch shit from the washer to the dryer- or possibly FOLD something? What about carrying one of the 3 baskets of clean and folded shit to the top of the stairs for me? I know it's beneath you to even THINK about putting those clothes away. If I ask you to help, you basically ignore me and I make little jokes about it- and you STILL don't get it. I am sick and tired of being left without money or a car and with the kids all day and night you don't do shit around here- then you have the nerve to tell me that I may have to get a job soon- hey fuck you pal- what the fuck do you think I do around here? I mean I never get any time to myself- EVER- and when I find a moment to get on the computer or to watch some TV, after the kids are in bed, you lecture me on staying up too late- you can't sleep without me in bed with you- umm hello ? I can not go to bed at 6pm- like you! God knows I need time to freekin unwind! As far as Christmas goes - I have ONE family member, who makes everything we have possible, and I am not letting your asshole rude family ( who hates me anyways) take all my time- so fuck you on that one too! Also, how about spending some time with me when I am FORCED to go to your family functions for like- 10 hours at a time- don't fucking disappear and leave me with a house full of people that hate and judge me!!! God when the hell did you become such a pain in the ass???!!! Shape up dammit! I love you, but you are really starting to piss me the hell off! and I can't even tell you about it cuz you turn shit around and make it all my fault or say I am having anxiety issues- that makes me want to kick your balls so hard up into your throat you choke on them!! And lastly- when I say no in the bedroom - it fucking means no!!!_ stay out of my asshole- it does absolutely NOTHING for me!!- signed, your bitter wife

5 comments:

Jenn said...

I am astonished in how many of these I could have posted. It's sad, but in a way comforting. I'm not the only one...not the only one.

Anonymous said...

there is a flip side to every thing

Anonymous said...

Really 6:01....and you're implying what? Duh, asswipe. Us women are surely intelligent enough to realize that. Sheesh.

lullabell225 said...

i am with jenn i also am amazed at how many of these i could have posted. i hate being stuck here with such an in considerate person and selfish tirant. how does this happen to smart women?

Anonymous said...

For 1:10pm -

Before you start bashing another poster about how "intelligent" women are and calling him or her names....

It's WE women are surely intelligent enough to realize that. Not "US".

Duh, asswipe.