Monday, December 04, 2006

True Wife Confession 127 Corridor...Worlds longest Yard Sale

Confession #1261

I do my best to keep a smile glued to my face when you're here, but inside I'm counting the minutes until you go. And when you go ... I get out my vibrator and bring my body back to life. I've gotten so good at faking, you never have a clue, and sometimes I almost fool myself. The hell of it is, when we were dating you seemed to care whether or not I experienced pleasure. Now all you care about is pushing my head down to your crotch so that YOU feel good, and the hell with me. So, how'd you like it the other night when I got MY pleasure and then (pretended to) fall asleep while you rolled over all frustrated? How'd you like that taste of your own medicine? Not a lot of fun was it honey? Like I said, you used to seem to care if I felt good or not. Was that just an act to get what you wanted? Maybe those escorts you keep blowing money on put up with that crap, but I won't.

Confession #1262

Sweetie, when I am telling you a story...I don't want your opinion. I want you to listen to the story, not tell me how to fix it, or what is wrong with my friends, or your take on how petty I am for being interested in "gossip". Just listen to the Story!!!

Confession #1263

The doctor told me recently that I might have cancer. Although it would certainly explain why I feel so awful, I can't get in for a biopsy until January. When I complained the other night that I wasn't feeling so good, you asked me again what day my appointment has been scheduled. I would love to think you were concerned about me and worried that I would be suffering until then, but I know you were really trying to figure out how long before I'll be in the mood for sex again. Oh yes, your daily ejactualtioons are so much more important than your wife's possible cancer. Sometimes I fucking hate you.

Confession #1264

I know you don't understand my relationship with my mother. Hell, I barely understand my relationship with my mother. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not defend her when I get off the phone and am frustrated or pissed off about something. Just accept that it is complicated and nothing like the relationship you have with your family. Rational has nothing to do with this!!

Confession #1265

Baby, I love you. From the very first day we started going out, my love and appreciation has grown. I love learning about you, your interests, your dreams, your logic and intelligence. The more I learn, the more interested I become. You are not the best looking guy, but I would chose you over Brad Pitt anyday.

When we have sex, it is like you and only you belong inside of me. You know me that well. You are so much more to me than just 'the man I love'. You are my best friend, someone I admire and look up to for guidance. I am proud to have someone like you by my side.

Even my family can see how good you are. My father called you a 'fine, young gentleman' the other day, and I swelled with pride, because I know he spoke the truth.

My confession is this: I want nothing more in the world than to be able to spend the rest of my life by your side. I am devoted to you, and I don't care if we never walk down that isle. All that matters is that I can be there sharing a wonderful journey with you.


Confession #1266

I'm sorry I'm so undesireable that you have resorted to the porn thing again. What can I do? I'm going to the gym. I'm back in therapy. I'm sorry. Heaven help me if you're exchanging emails again.

Confession #1267

Let me say this ONE MORE TIME.

I AM NOT CHEATING ON YOU.

What don't you understand about that? I haven't and I won't, as that's not the type of person I am and never will be.

But, to be totally honest, if someone thinks that their wife is cheating, don't you think they'd be doing everything in their power to keep the wife happy so she won't stray? I've known that you thought this for quite a while but what's so sad is that NOTHING HAS CHANGED. You're still selfish, you still think only of yourself and what you want, you don't do anything thoughtful for me or the kids, you don't spend any time with us, you do nothing to make me not want to cheat!

Do you want this marriage to last or not? You are slowly but surely pushing me to that point. I can't live like this any more, being under a constant cloud of suspicion and not doing a damn thing to deserve it, as well as not being treated like a loved wife, a friend, someone who's cherished. Throw in the fact that you don't want to do anything with our kids and it's a dealbreaker.

Sad.

Confession #1268

You complain about how much money I spend on our child's clothes, but I also know how secretly proud you are when other parents comment about how mice she looks, or ask you where we got that outfit.

Confession #1269

I want you so desperately.
After 13 years. I still want you. I still feel butterflies.
I want you so bad it hurts.

Why can't you want me?
All the other guys want me. Try to have affairs with me. Fall in love with me.
I want to love them. I want to want them.

I can't cheat. I have too much integrity.
I can't leave because it hurts so much.

Why can't you just want me?
You say you want me...why do you lie?

Confession #1270

I had plans to leave you until last night. Last night as a couple we found out that I have breast cancer. An aggressive cancer. I saw the man in you that I had always known was there but you never let him out, until last night when you held me as I cried. Last night you made me feel safe within your arms for the first time in over a year. You made me believe that we could confront this together, as a couple, as a husband and wife, and defeat it, we could win. You turned into my hero last night, my rock, and I told you so. Thank you.

6 comments:

1223 said...

To 1267: Don't they say that people who are doing something wrong are the first to accuse/suspect others? Are you sure your husband isn't the one cheating?

To 1270: I am sorry for your diagnosis. I wish you all the best in your treatment and recovery.

Anonymous said...

1267: I thought the exact thing as 11:15. I once dated a guy (and I do mean once) who would not leave his car without removing his stereo. I mean the thing sat on the table at the restaurant where we had dinner, He was so afraid someone was going to steal from him. A year later I saw his mugshot on the local news. He had embezzled money from the bank where he worked. He was afraid of being robbed because he could not comprehend someone having the opportunity to steal something and not actually doing it. I can easily imagine the brain of a cheater might work the same way. Good luck to you.

1263 and 1270: I am sending up a prayer for both of you right now.

Anonymous said...

1270: your story made me cry..i am SO glad your husband came through for you. i wish you two the best in getting through this together.

Anonymous said...

1267: He's probably not cheating. He's just a jerk. I'm on the process of divorcing the same thing. WHy stay around if you are cherished and loved? It was difficult but well worth it to be rid of the b*stard.

Anonymous said...

I'm 4:12. I meant why stay around if you are NOT cherished and loved?

Anonymous said...

#1267... Guilty one acuses first. Found out by first hand experience...