Sunday, January 14, 2007

It's time to put on my big girl shoes and wade into this...

*Deep Breath*

When I started TWC, I chose to maintain a certain "Distance". I felt that if this forum was to be what I intended, I needed to accept everything as it came. Confessions that concerned me. Confessions which may disturb me. Confessions which pissed me off. All of them.

I knew from alot of my work around female relational aggression that women - especially when they feel powerless in some areas of their lives - look to participate in Horizontal aggression. In other words, attacking people who are to the left and the right of them. Usually these people are other women.

You tend to see this in social groups, ergo the "queen bee and wannabe" phenomenon. I participated in this in high school. I viciously targeted some other girls, just as I had been targeted by others. I would love to tell you all the names of those girls who I feel were my tormentors, but that would be to leave out my part in the flip side. Yes, I was tormented by them - the mean notes in the lockers, the exclusion of me at the lunch table, the decisions to exclude me from social events. Yes, I remember their names.

I am, however, not blameless. I was active in the targeting of others. I led others to targets and set them upon them. I intentionally set out to hurt other women. For what, you may ask? For being female. For daring to look at my boyfriend. For perceived slights against my person. I called them the names. Slut. Whore. Skank. Tramp. Skeeze. Beast. Bitch.

When my boyfriend asked me to stop targeting the girl he had briefly dated before me, I tripled my efforts. How dare she seek his protection. I did not dare address the actions in which my boyfriend was engaging. The continuing to talk to the ex-girlfriend in a way that felt ( and later proved to be) not quite over. He was my giver of status. I was his girlfriend. He had the power. He did not need to modify his actions. I had to modify my actions.


That isn't what I want for TWC. We, as women, have to modify our actions ALL THE TIME. We second guess and worry about others feelings and how we are perceived. We hide and shield and change so that others are protected.

I will not censor TWC. I won't. I can't tell people what to feel or how to behave. However, the tone of some of the comments in the last several months have felt....vindictive. A Public Stoning. Burn the Witch!

That isn't what I wanted. I wanted women to feel safe here. If no where else, then here. Safe to say the things you can't say elsewhere. That doesn't mean I am saying that you or I have to agree with the confession. We simply exist to acknowledge it's presence. We don't need to tar and feather the confessor, do we?

I currently have run out of enough confessions to make a chapter, so I will wait until I have 10 to publish the next one. I wonder if the risk of being called a name has made some think twice about wanting to send ones in. If so, my purpose in this website is negated.

My last point is this. You don't know WHO is confessing. It could be your best friend. It could be your mother. It could be me.

Do you want to call them or me whores? Really?

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

i agree completely. i have left many comments on this website, all of them positive, none of them using name calling. i've read some of the comments calling cheating wives whores, etc. everyone makes mistakes and who are we to judge until we've lived their lives? i hope people on this site become a little more accepting after this. i'd hate for the confessions to stop coming in because they're afraid of being burned at the stake.

CarrieBradshaw said...

I have never, ever disrespected anyone who confessed. I completely respect everyone for being honest and opening up to the world so that maybe we can learn something from them or about ourselves or maybe feel better about a situation we are in.

Wendy Richards said...

This website has proven to be so helpful in realizing that I'm not alone in what I'm going through. Hearing that other women have been going through what I was for MUCH longer was one of the things that helped me to determine that I didn't want that, and finally helped me see that he wouldn't change and that I needed to move on.

Anonymous said...

Agreed, there was an unpleasant mob mentality forming. There's a galaxy of difference between, say, the drama queen determined to lure away a father, versus the weary out-of-love couple with the tacit "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

I don't have a whole lot of patience for screwing around once there are kids involved, though.

Kate said...

Dawn, you continue to amaze me. In a very, very, very good way. I'm so glad we have a place run by a smart woman who loves us. 'Cause dealing with the daily torrent of pain and weirdness has to be a labor of love, doesn't it?

frost-smitten said...

this is why I don't (typically) bother to read the comments. I keep my thoughts on the confessions to myself unless one particularly moves me. and if a comment is left, it has never been negative or demeaning.

crystall said...

Agreed! All the drama really takes away from the point of the blog.

I think the blog needs its own spin off blog "whatihateaboutTWC.blogspot.com"

Ya'll can take the crap there.

Lisa said...

I do see that alot... I guess some people don't realize there are two sides to every story. SOmetimes even more than two sides...

Anonymous said...

You know, I personally believe that breaking a vow, whether it's a marriage vow or some other kind, is a very serious matter. However, I have a good friend who's confessed to me that she and her husband have only had sex twice in the last seven years. His choice, not hers. I've known her for twenty years, and well, neither of us have ever been good at celibacy. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how *I'd* do it. Yeah, maybe they need therapy, maybe they need whatever, but it's the situation they're in. If my friend called me, and confessed that she'd finally snapped and had a weekend of carnal bliss with someone else, I'd feel really conflicted. Sad that she'd found herself in that place, worried that she or someone would get hurt, grateful as all hell that I'm not in that situation, but would I call her a whore and a slut? Not in this lifetime. The point is, yeah, cheating's wrong, but human beings do wrong things all the time. It's wrong to be a judgemental self-righteous bitch, too, but that doesn't seem to be enough to make people refrain from it.

Anonymous said...

I agree. When women feel like they cannot change their situation, or feel inadequate in their lives, then they make themselves feel better by attacking others. You see it with "Mommy competition" all the time. "I must be a better mom because my child walked/talked/knew his alphabet before yours did" or "I am a better mom because I breastfeed/cloth diaper/only serve health food" or whatever.

What we, as women, need to do is quit comparing our lives to others and finding them lacking. Either our lives or our neighbor's lives. Instead concentrate on our own and being happy and confident with what we have. Or changing it if we are not. Not tearing others down because they do not fit into the mold that WE think they should....when we secretly know that we don't fit the mold either. Tearing others down is infinately easier than examining our own lives and fixing what is broken.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Dawn. Though I have never hesitated to leave a confession (I could really care less what anyone else thinks), I had stopped reading the comments. Some of them really make my blood boil.

I used to be a member of the "hate all cheaters" group. Until I was put into a bad situation. My choices were to be a martyr (ick) or go on and find happiness somewhere else.

And I was pleasantly surprised. My husband knows. He's met the men I've been involved with. He jokingly calls my current boyfriend "your husband". We live together still, it's good for the kids and the finances. But we're not "together" anymore. And we're both happier than we have been in years.

Don't judge. Please.

Anonymous said...

Oh please, give me a break you guys. Dawn, you know full well nobody is going to disagree with you on this website. Some of us don't believe in infidelity, period. I agree that we don't have to name call, but to even pretend that I understand any reasons for justification to cheat are good reasons or acceptable, well, I would be a liar. I read here every single day and yes I have left comments. But I don't let other peoples comments create some big drama. So.....chill people, Please.

deb said...

I'm glad you've said something because you're right, a lot of the comments were mean and abusive. This is supposed to be a safe place to publicly confess shit, mistakes, regrets, choices, whatever. We don't have to agree with the choices people make but we can just listen, or read. Most people don't want anyone to fix things or criticize them, they just want to tell their story, they want to be heard. Don't we all really want that?

Anonymous said...

Yah, I gotta agree. Everybody needs to chill out.

Anonymous said...

Thank god this has been addressed! I also see how hateful some of the comments have become. I agree that some of the confessions are more than a little "scandalous", but the reaction that some people have chosen to show is more than a little over the top. We have no idea what brought the poster to the situation she is in, and I have to say that marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done. Agree or don't agree, but keep the hateful comments to yourself.
As Tina Fey said in Mean Girls, "you have to stop calling each other slut, bitches and whores! It just gives permission for men to call us that." (Sorry dudes, may not be exact.) Let's move out of high school, shall we?

Thank you, Dawn, for keeping this website going. It helps to see that other women go through what I do in my marriage!

Anonymous said...

Why do people even respond to the meanies?

Anonymous said...

Bravo 5:13 and everyone else. We have no right to judge. We are only getting one side of the story on this site and not even the whole side at that. We get just a small piece. Life gets complicated and choices are even more complicated. I, like 5:13, find myself in the same situation. Yet I am home with my partner each and every night and all weekend. My friend is with his wife and child in the same way. We see each other when we can (sometimes not for weeks at a time) but we burn up the phone lines when we're at work and thank god for email. We are not cheaters. We are not bad people. We are just two normal adults who can meet each other's needs.....those needs that our partners can't or won't fulfill. It's not wrong. It just is. I hope that all these women who are so judgemental never find themselves in the same place.

Bella Sultane said...

Thanks for this post. I like the premise of the site, but tend not to read the comments. Early on they tended to be supportive, but then started being so negative...

Anyway, thanks.

Anonymous said...

I've only waded into the comments once or twice here. I don't usually come in or comment on posts because of the tone set by some commenters. Well said Dawn.

Elizabeth said...

Hear hear! Have you thought about just closing the comments, or do you want them open so people can leave supportive comments to the confessors? Are people sending in their confessions hoping to get supportive comments? Just some thoughts.

drsharna said...

Dawn honey, you are doing a wonderful job. It doesn't take much to put a person in a less-than-optimal situation that has the potential to alter the course of a life forever, so don't let the haters get you down. Consider the source. Many of us out here in the blogosphere look forward to the next installment of TWC. As I've said before, it is like a virtual "Everywoman," in which every woman has the chance to tell her story - from her beautifully unedited point of view. Frankly, I've only looked at the comments once. That was enough backbiting for me. Not that I'm one for censorship, but you can moderate or disable comments if it's that bothersome. Keep up the good work.

Di said...

May I strongly recommend A Most Uncommon Degree of Popularity by Kathleen Gilles Seidel, reviewed as follows on my blog:

http://dibookblogetc.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/08/a_most_uncommon.html

Totally apropos to this discussion.

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
After reading all these nice comments I find it kinda of odd that every one is against name calling and bashing the occasional whore, slut of a woman post.
I have read this blog for the past few months and was amaised that one would even consider confessing such a deed after reading some of the horrid comments. I hope some restraint would be used the the future. I would hate to see this blog dwindle anymore than I have already noticed. Thank you Dawn for your determination in keeping this blog going.

Anonymous said...

As one who confessed to some infidelity, but got NO negative comments (because I was trumped by the dog F*cker.) I just want to say that maybe the age old adage, if you can't say something nice..... should apply here, be supportive or keep it to yourself.

confession writer 1353 said...

I'm assuming this post was in relation to confession #1449 and all the negative comments it received. I just want to say "Thank you" for expressing what a few of us were trying to convey in the comment section.

Keep up the great work!

reddragonsangel said...

I have left many confessions on this site- and I usually do not read the comments- after all, I just wanted to get it off my chest and could care less what anyone thinks- but as a woman - why on earth would any female call another female a whore/slut-etc? these are the worst things you can call any female- I hate it and think that they should be banned from our language...its a place to come and bare your soul- not be judged- I have always wondered why women all hate each other so damn much- it truly baffles the mind- after all we are all in this together- and if we don't understand each other- then I guess the "sister-hood" is really a bunch of BS- I would like to believe that women aren't evil - that we have all been that girl at one time or another- we have all done things we are ashamed of - we all have secrets- it sucks that even anonamity and the fact that you can be honest and still hide- makes you a target- don't stop confessing- just stop judgeing!

Lisa said...

interestingly enough I recently found this website...I didn't even read the comments. I only read the confessions. I guess I wanted to know what everyone was confessing. I guess I thought that is what the site was about. I think it's awesome that there is a site that people can send in their confessions to.

Anonymous said...

I was disturbed over the viciousness of the attack against Sophia. There have been others, I'm sure. She accidentally left a post while logged on, and there was a link to her profile. I don't know how many attacks she must now endure because they could get her blog info from the profile. Must have been alot because she unpublished(?) her profile.

I was the other woman. He was my boss. I had problems and was vulnerable. He exploited those vulnerabilities and threatened to have me fired if I didn't date him/stay with him. I ended up marrying him after he was divorced to protect my job. The marriage established our relationship where if we were just dating... the boss and work could deny the relationship.

You NEVER know the situation. Nor how it will end. His ex has thanked me since then. She's engaged and about to be married to a man that she doesn't fight with 24/7. I'm the one married to the man that will screw around if you don't keep a short leash on him.

Strange Karma. And I'm not proud of the fact that I wasn't a stronger person to say "F you" and find another job.

Anonymous said...

I agree that some of the attacks have crossed the line...but like somebody said, it's NOT right what they're doing, and there are just some confessions that bother me so much that I have to say SOMETHING. I have never called anyone on here a slut, but I have objected to the choices they have made, and I will continue to do so if I am so moved.

And you know...part of the whole solidarity of women thing has GOT to include NOT sleeping with another woman's husband, which comes up on here pretty often. Why is it ok for someone to come on here and badmouth somebody else's WIFE, in the name of "confession?"

confession writer 1353 said...

To 2:47pm...

I too do not condone cheaters, liars, or whatever else a woman desires to confess on here. However, their lying and cheating ways do not affect me and MY life. And for the married women out there who are so hellbent on calling the "other" women whores b/c your husband cheated on you, maybe you should take a LONGGGGGGGGGGG look at your husband. Sex, infedility, and marriage is a 2 way street. Don't just condemn the other woman, give a swift kick in the pants for your husband too.

Anonymous said...

i think the point here, ladies, is that you can dissaprove and hate and think whore whore whore as much as your little hearts desire, just keep it to yourselves. if you dont like what someone has done you dont have to say anything about it at all... is that so hard?

be supportive if you can, keep your mouths SHUT if you cant! SUPPORT!

Anonymous said...

2:51 - Please help me understand why you automatically assume the husbands are not blamed? They are not taken to task here because they don't post here. As the ex-wife of a cheater I assure you I blame him FAR more than I blame her. He broke promises made to me and and walked away from a committment to our family. She did not. But I do blame her too. She had nothing more to gain than a few sexual thrills and my children and I had everything to loose. Our home, our family, our security, all gone. But in the spirit of sisterhood I should try to see her side? Sorry, I will just be a judgmental bitch, thank you.

Now to everyone. I will confess I have said some nasty things to some of the more heinous of the confessors. I admit it was not the most mature thing to do. Am I ashamed? Ummm...NO! I will refrain from nasty comments in the future because I doubt I will be back very often. If we are to be expected to censor our comments then this place is no longer a forum for free expression and has become a place where people come to get pats on the back and "poor baby"'s for bad behavior. I don't find anything eye opening, enlightening, or supportive about that.

If "judging" a woman for having sex with a married man is now a greater sin than destroying families for the sake of an orgasm, then I don't think there is anything more for me to gain here.

Anonymous said...

In the interest of honesty, I will say that I was one of the ones who called "whore". I don't regret it at all, nor would I hesitate to do it again. Even if the person confessing was my mom. Even if it was face to face instead of anonymously online. Why? Because I've been the victim. You can call me names about that if you want, but I've been the victim and I simply cannot summon up support or pity for anyone who would willingly put another person through the unbelievable pain that infidelity causes. I was beyond devastated when I found out that my ex boyfriend was sleeping with his "ex" girlfriend. Beyond devastated. I can't even put into words how much it hurt me. So to suggest that I should just keep quiet or offer support to someone who is causing that same intense pain to another person who isn't given a choice in this situation ... well, I'm sorry but I'm just not a big enough person to do that. And if the fact that I won't sympathize with someone who is willingly hurting someone else makes me a heartless bitch in the eyes of others, then so be it. There are some choices that I simply refuse to support, and cheating is one of them.

Anonymous said...

Women.....Come on now, you all know that we as a species have a lot more control over what happens in our lives then we let on. Quit fighting one another and SEE how hard is was for someone to confess on this web site. To comment or not is a choice. Accept it. It does not define us. WE do that.

I for one am grateful for the opportunity to relieve some of the stress I feel about the things I've done.

Anonymous said...

exactly 3:40! it is a devastating pain to be cheated on, to be clueless and to feel like you had no choice in the situation. The scumbag and whore made the choice for you, unbeknownst to you. And when you do finally find out, its an almost unbearable pain. So forgive those of us that have been on that side of it, and feel the need to point out to others causing that pain that it is wrong. I know i am supposed to be in fellowship with my fellow women, but those women, nope sorry i feel no loyalty to them

confession writer 1353 said...

For 3:40 and 4:04 -

Again, I'll say this...because this woman MAY be stepping out on her husband (we don't know the whole story)..how does that affect YOU and how you live your life? It doesn't.

Now in regards to the other woman and your husband cheating on you (the both of you I assume), by all means, call her a homewrecking whore slutbag. Why? Because it affected YOU and YOUR life.

Please don't try the left field approach saying, "That woman in confession 1449 could be sleeping with my husband." That happening is about a gajillion to one.

Anonymous said...

Amen. I stopped reading the comments, because they were getting so downright mean. I hope this little reminder will get people to stop the name-calling and judging. It's so unecessary.

Anonymous said...

bitter ladies who have been cheated on i am very sorry that you have been hurt. it really sucks. but this isnt all about you. if you want to write a confession yourself about how lousy you felt and how angry you were at your husband/boyfriend and how its scarred you for life and the damage it did to your children then go for it! more power to you!

when it comes to other posters confessions you can be as angry as you want at them but you DO NOT then have to type a nasty spiteful comment about the "cheating whore" afterwards, do you? are you compelled by some supernatural force to do so? no, you CHOSE to go through the process of typing the nasty comment and then submitting it. you do it because YOU feel bad so you want to make someone else feel badly as well.

grow up! if you cant say something nice just keep your mouths shut and dont say anything at all! your vile behavior is scaring people away from this site, and i feel so badly for all the woment out there who have stories to tell that arent getting the release that they need because some of the "ladies" cant keep thier spite to themselves :(

Anonymous said...

Some of the comments regarding presumed cheaters seem to me to be based on misreading the original confessions.
You can't always know that the wife is being cheated on.
For instance: Another woman is sleeping with MY husband.
If that is all you read of my confession you might think I was being cheated upon. Right? Wrong.
She's also sleeping with me. We're three adults sleeping together. It's not always easy but it's all consensual and it's above board.
I have read several other confessions that sounded to me like they were about open relationships like mine, but some other readers took them to be about cheating. I guess the way you respond says a lot about you personally.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Dawn, thanks for an amazing, honest post that said what needed to be said, and that showed that you would be the first to shoulder the responsibility you're asking us to accept.

I think a number of people are missing the point - disagree, by all means, and disagree strongly - but disagree RESPECTFULLY. And there's no need to call someone a "whore", instead say, "Look, you think you're not hurting anyone, *I KNOW THAT YOU ARE, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE* and here's my story."
You can't control how you feel, but you CAN control how you choose to act. Save your anger to fight for what really matters to you.

And confessors, don't think you're getting off lightly - b/c the smugness of some confessions, e.g., "You think he's all yours, but he's shagging me b/c I give him so much more, nyaa nyaa," isn't really a confession, is it? It's gloating over causing someone else pain. You few are *courting* anger, so you can't complain when you get it. You need to accept responsibility too.

Finally, Dawn, I think we're wrong in assuming that all, or even most, of the 'whore' comments come from women. I noticed a REAL upturn in the negative comments after the link from that bloke's blog, and I strongly suspect a lot of the nasties are from men who come in from there (Ronald, was it?). You might want to consider comment moderation.

And ladies, if it isn't made clear, don't assume that all the women confessing 'forbidden relationships' are cheaters - some relationships could be Hindu-Muslim, or with a Catholic priest, or across race lines in which both parties are single but could be in real trouble - even in danger of their lives - if it gets out, and they need somewhere to confess...we just don't know.

Life really is stranger than fiction - and we're not in anyone else's story. As the film Miss Potter says, the first few lines of the story never tell you where it - and you - are going to end up.

Anonymous said...

6:09...

You read my mind! We do not have to censor ourselves here (as some people have expressed) rather I think we need to be grown up here. You can relay your disgust without being awful to someone. As many have said here, you can't assume you know the whole story from one little post. Unless you know the person, we are not here to judge. Even if you do know the person, you may not know the WHOLE story. I do not condone cheating in anyway but this was a place where people could get stuff off their chests and now it's become a place where women just cackle and call each other names. We don't have to act that way. Be intelligent with your responses instead of sounding like a typical woman that men stereotype.

Lisa Stone said...

Terrific post Dawn. You're an example to follow.

Anonymous said...

I hardly think husbands are blameless, I just think that if women were to actually work together as opposed to constant competition we could rule the world. :) And not sleeping with somebody else's husband is a pretty good start...

As far as "if you don't have anything nice to say blah blah blah", sorry. Part of the problem with our culture today is that people don't feel like they have to take responsibility for their actions. If a woman (or man in that situation) is going to proclaim her indiscretion for all the world to see, she's gotta realize that people aren't going to like what she says. It's called consequences. Novel, I know.

Anonymous said...

I think that people can express their disapproval in more adult ways than resorting to name calling. Calling people names may be some sort of free expression but nothing good can possibly come of it, so why even lower yourself to that leve. The name caller looks just as much like a loser as the one being called the name.

I had a 6th grade teacher tell us that you can san anything to anyone. If you want your point to actually get listened to and have your point considered depends more on HOW you say it, not what you say.

And, I've been on the recieving end too folks, but I still won't stoop to calling that other woman a whore. I just won't, she's not the only one to blame.

Anonymous said...

bravo.

i stopped coming here for a while because it seemed to drift from the sort of community i felt you were trying to create. thank you for bringing it back home.

we don't need to step on each other to stand up taller. we can do that side by side.

Anonymous said...

I rarely read the comments here and have never posted, but I feel compelled to here.

I DO NOT condone cheating. If these women sleeping with married men know he's married, they should also know they're causing pain. I realize that life is complicated and if one person in a relationship has resorted to cheating, then the relationship is in trouble (unless it's an open relationship but that's not really cheating then) but there's no reason for an outside party to help it die. Women who do this need to realize that they are hurting people.

Women who call these women names also need to realize that they're hurting people. It may not be to the same degree, but either way, pain is caused.

And there's really no reason to cause another human pain.

Anonymous said...

For 9:07pm -

So you don't like what she says you're going to bash her on a site that allows such confessions to be posted? Are you kidding me?! LOL. Maybe you should have tried an approach that didn't include "whore" or "slut" or "homewrecker". Or is maturity too novel of an idea for you?

Anonymous said...

I am 9:07 and where in my comment did I say I called anyone a whore or a homewrecker? Nice assumption, but I'm not one of those. All I'm saying is that it's naive to think that you can confess anything publicly and expect people to be "nice" about it. Maybe you shouldn't feel so safe confessing that you are breaking up families. Maybe you should wake up and realize that it's not a cool thing to do. And YES there are better ways than calling somebody a whore, which I don't do. Believe me, I've made my share of mistakes, and I know that some of them were pretty shitty, and I deal with it. And if I confessed some of them here, I would expect to be taken to task for them.

Anonymous said...

Actually, yes. I would call whoever was being a homewrecking whore a homewrecking whore. I'm not all about being patronizing. So, yah Dawn, I would.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say..." theory. This place is meant to be open for people to confess. They aren't supposed to be bashed for that. Do I condone cheating? No. But you NEVER can know the situation someone is in and you can't judge something if you simply don't have all the facts.

We need to stop being so vicious to eachother. This place used to be a lighthearted, supportive forum for us to get things off our chests, but now, people are AFRAID to post because of what may be said to/about them. It would be such a waste to see this place die like that.

Anonymous said...

This forum was NEVER lighthearted. That's just completely untrue. And personally, the rawness and the HONEST comments, bashing or not is what kept me coming back. But like a few others here, I'm considering just deleting this from my favorites. Especially if Dawn is going to start censoring.

Anonymous said...

did you people actually read dawns post? she said she WOULD NOT CENSOR. would not! shes just asking people to be a bit more respectful of others. is that so darn hard?

jesus christ people, GROW UP! you dont have to comment on the confessions that bring out the viper in you!

Anonymous said...

thank you- i have not posted since i was told some not very nice things.

i was just wanting a place to vent and feel like i was not alone.

i had been on another site until i felt like it was not a supportive healthy site. i hope this site does not end up the same.

Anonymous said...

No 2:10. But you do. Sheesh, talk about viper. You seem like you are probably one of the nasty people. You have some anger issues.

Anonymous said...

This site has already been censored. A ways back our comments about abortion were censored. So this would really be strike two.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, by even implying that you will control what people will say is censoring. To me anyways. Actually now people won't get honesty.

Dawn said...

As to the issue of censorship and abortion. My comment in that regard was that this website wasn't the place for the "rightness" of abortion.

Far from censoring - which would be to remove comments or selectively chose which confessions I felt were appropriate, I view that as setting parameters for a discussion.

A persons moral/religious/political beliefs about a right which is currently protected under US law would be, in my opinion, not helpful to the discussion.

If people felt I was censoring, then that is unfortunate. I am firmly anti-censor. However, I am not pro-beating a person for what remains a legal right.

Anonymous said...

What is it with some of you women?! Do you think your shit doesn't stink? That you're holier than thou and all should bow to you?!

"Dawn deleted my abortion post. WAAAAAAAAAH. That's strike two. WAAAAAAAAAAH." From Dawn's response, it sounded like you bashed this woman for having an abortion. Did you call her a baby killer? Did you tell her she was going to hell? And if so...


WHO MADE YOU QUEEN BITCH?! WHO GAVE YOU A RIGHT TO JUDGE?! You self-righteous women make me sick.
The women who think that everyone in the world is wrong unless they agree with them will have a wake up call when they get to the pearly gates and is asked, "So why did you think it was Ok to judge another human being?"

Good luck in your lives ladies. You're so filled with hate, distain, bitter, and self-loathing that you enjoy making others miserable. Karma will bite you square in your ass and it's too bad I won't be there to witness it.

Anonymous said...

Fuck off 11:57! You are the one who sounds angry and bitter. The abortion post WAS posted asshole! Maybe you should only lecture when you know what the hell you're talking about.

Anonymous said...

For 4:25pm -

I sound angry and bitter?! LMAO. What was the first line of your response? "Fuck off 11:57"..uh huh, your childhood called and it wants your mentality back.

I'm GLAD the abortion post was posted. Any woman should be allowed to confess to their own private hell to just get it off her chest. I was griping about the women that bashed the poster over the abortion you whiney little shit. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH "Fuck off". LOL

Anonymous said...

I gotta agree with 4:25, 11:57. You came here and posted a very immature and angry comment. Get a grip.

Anonymous said...

11:57:

Pot? Meet kettle.

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHA... pot meet kettle. oh my so true. thanks, 9:01, for the giggle.

Purr said...

I respect your honesty not many people can talk so openly about their lives, great reading.

Anonymous said...

Name-calling isn't nice.
Causing another person pain by helping to destroy their marriage is an awful lot worse.

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
I confessed a coupla weeks ago about nearly 17 years in an unhealthy marraige to my childhood sweetheart...

We came from a religious background and at the time I thought marrying him was the thing to do...

Many of the comments left seemed to ignore his cheating and abandoning myself and my children...

Instead, many focussed on my censoring my post using f*ck and confessing to having anal sex with him while we dated in a misguided teenaged attempt to "stay a virgin"...Some even said they thought my confession was fake or an attempt at being shocking for attention...

I took those criticisms in stride...

I never dreamed I would ever be able to give voice to the things I felt and had been through...Who could I tell?...

Until I found this site, I thought I'd carry those things to my grave...

Thank you for giving my secrets an outlet...

I felt a load lifted from my heart in the minutes after seeing it posted in black & white...

I'm not fully healed, heck I may never be, but I can tell you that I'm certainly much lighter in spirit...

Thank You,
Confession #1390