True Wife Confessions 89 Percent more truthiness

Confession #881

Every moment that I spend with you I feel a small piece of me die. Every single time you look at me with blank eyes devoid of emotion and love, every time you ignore me, everyday we go without talking, every time you refuse to show me even the smallest bit of intimacy---I die. It is a slow death. A painful death. Much worse than any I could imagine. It leaves me angry. It leaves me wondering when it will be my turn for love. Left by my parents, unloved by spouse. My own personal hell.

Confession #882

I know you think my brother is a sleazy, no-good dropout, but he's still my brother, my family. You were so mad when you found out that I bought him a bit of groceries - I don't give him money or buy him cigarettes, I just buy him a bit of food sometimes. I really don't understand how you can be such an ass to insist that he must fend for himself. He made a choice to live on his own, but I don't think that means that we can let him starve. Now I sneak him groceries - I shop when I'm at work and take them to him when I go out in the evening. It's not worth the fight and you being mad at me for days, so I just don't tell you.
Also, that extra food that you found in the car last week? - I didn't forget to bring it in, it was for him.


Confession #883

Every time your mother visits I realize that you are so much more than how you were raised. Yeah, you have some mildly annoying habits. But compared to her they are nothing. I don't know how you stood it all these years. I know I'm the one who is always pushing to maintain a relationship with her, but when she's here she's so irritating I can barely stand it. How is it possible for one person to turn the conversation to herself over and over so doggedly? Did she train for it?

Confession #884

I know you are sleepy. I am sleepy too. But, when you yell at our child at night and tell her to go back to sleep before you beat the shit out of her? And this makes her cry harder? So you yell louder? I swear, if I had a knife, I would stab you in the fucking heart for that. I don't know where you learned that being a bully works, but it is a piss poor strategy and will lose you your wife and daughter someday.

Confession #885

Although I adore you, your memory loss really tries my patience.

For example, recently I told you all about the amount of fiber in a particular breakfast cereal. You listened intently and said something like, "Wow, I didn't know that." This morning, you took the cereal out of the cabinet and "educated" me on how much fiber it has.

I already know. I told you for Christ's sake.

I know your memory is horrible and I know your memory is horrible for a very valid reason. It just makes me insane that you try to tell me things that 1) I already know and 2) I told YOU about or you wouldn't even know

Confession #886

They always say hindsight is 20/20. I should have listened to my Mother when she told me to slow down and date other people before I got so serious with you. Mothers really are always right. I have feelings for you because you are the father of my child, but I don't love you. I stopped feeling love a long time ago. You only make an effort when you want sex, other than that you don't even act like you care. I'm not even attracted to you any more. The only reason I'm still here is our son. You are his world, and I don't want to crush him. I don't know how long I can live this way, but you can bet that when and if I do leave our son will be coming with me.

Confession #887

Sometimes I fantasize while listening to Brad Paisley's song "She Everything" that you wrote it and you wrote it for me. And then I get mad at you because you didn't write that song and you didn't write it for me.

Confession #888

If you grab at my breasts one more time I am going to cut your hands off. I don't like to be mauled, it is not a turn on at all. You act like they are your personal property and that you can do whatever you want to them. Sometime I am going to grab your penis and do the same things that you do, and I will bet money that you will be rolling on the floor in agony. When I tell you to stop I am not joking around. I mean stop. As in right fucking now. I am a person, not just a pair of boobs.

Confession #889

I was so happy a few weeks ago. Now, I don't know what's wrong with me. I find myself getting angry and annoyed with you for no reason. The things I found most attractive about you, I now find really, really, annoying.
I'm also worried that you'll end up leaving me once you find out that I'm not as sure as I was a few months ago. You've been bettering yourself while I've been staying the same. What if you meet somebody better? I don't think my heart could take it, and though I know, right now, at this moment, I don't deserve you.
The fear, the unknowing, the stress, the agitation-it's all becoming to much for me.
Maybe I'm just scared. Our relationship is getting serious and I think I'm scared of commitment.
I love you. I know I do. But I don't know if I'm ready for the engagement What do I do?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Confession #890

I do so many of the things other wives are confessing they hate their
husbands for and I'm terrified that you are going to hate me for it.
I'm lazy, I'm a slob, I spend most days sitting at the computer, I
never finish anything I start, and I'm a bad mother. When I tell you
that, you say, "Look at our daughter, she's amazing, and that's
because of you!" but I know that it's only despite me. I think Elmo
pays more attention to her than I do. Your family sees what a loser I
am, and I'm sure they wonder why you don't. Sometimes I wonder if I'm
some sort of project for you. Like because you can fix anything, you
want to see if you can fix me. And I do need fixing. But you deserve a
wife who doesn't need to be fixed, or at least one who isn't as
completely broken as I am.

Sometimes I wonder if you like me this way. When I'm at my lowest lows
is when you are the tenderest and give me the most help. Maybe I am
this way because it's working. I can get away with being lazy if I
just tell you how often I think of killing myself, which really is
often, because then you do the dishes that I have let sit in the sink
for a week and order us a pizza so I don't have to do anything. And if
I scream about how overwhelmed I am, you'll come home on your
lunch break and vacuum and tell me that I'm doing a great job. And I
love you so much for that, and I hate myself so much for it.

I know I can do better. I know I am capable of great things. You know
this, and you have helped convince me of it. I'm trying to be better,
and have faced many setbacks. Sometimes it is hard not to give up on
myself when I feel like the only person in the world who HASN'T given
up on me is you. And I'm sure you will too, one day. I don't know why
you haven't already.

True Wife Confessions Crazy 88, O-Ren Ishii's Army

Confession #881

Sometimes you tell me that you think I love the kids more than I love you. I would die for them, but would not do the same for you. Does that make it true?

Confession #882

I don’t care if your kids hate me. I don’t care if your family hates me. I don’t want anything more in this world than to be with you, in love with you. My entire world revolves around you. I want to be the reason that you are happy, the reason you smile. I’m tired of constantly fighting with everyone because your “kids” turn everything that I say around to make me out to be a heinous beast. If that’s what they want, I can deliver, but I don’t want to hurt you. I know that it kills you the way they act and the things that they do and I just don’t want to add to that turmoil. I want your family to get their heads out of the mud and realize that these “kids” are adults and it’s time to stop enabling your son to be a drug addict and a thief and it’s time to stop enabling your daughter to be a dead-beat mother. I love our granddaughter more than my next breath and all the things I do for your daughter are SOLELY because of my love for that baby. So what’s going to give? I never wanted things to be like this. I wanted to love those kids and help them and all I get in return is hatred and name calling…I don’t want to stoop to their level, but I’m almost to the point of living as the monster they created. What in the world did we do to deserve this? You are so sweet and mellow and loving and intelligent…I can’t believe these retarded problems came from your DNA.

I love you. I will never stop loving you. BUT my fuse is about to run out and if they think things were ugly before, well they ain’t seen nothing yet.


Confession #883

I am so tired of seeing your porn everywhere i go in this house, tired of
you and your friends opening up to your "favorite" pages and shouting
"YEAH!" or "NICE!", tired of seeing tits hanging on every wall of our
garage. I used to be in the "porn is alright" camp. It never bothered me
before if my s.o. was looking at a Playboy, some internet porn, or watching
a movie - every once in awhile. I knew it was something all men do. I
didn't realize some had to do it EVERY DAY.

Sometimes I think I should be thankful that you don't have anything truly
disgusting around, that you don't spend hours on the Internet or in a strip
club. If someone held a gun to my head and asked what would I rather see for
the rest of my life, strange boobs or unknown shaved snatch, I would
definitely pick boobs. I really wouldn't care about your current magazine
obssession if they weren't in every bathroom, our bedroom, and stacked up in
the spare room. And then the fact that you and all your friends get together
and have some kind of discussion panel about it all. Could you do that when
I'm not around?

And by the way, if you could pull your head out of the biker porn/girls gone
wild shit for just a sec, you would find that you are living with a person
with an awesome rack of natural tits who you could actually hump once and
awhile. What a fucking concept - you live with a size 6 who works out every
day, who spends a fortune on her hair, waxing, and fuck me shoes, AND you
could see her naked - IN THE FLESH. Maybe the alcoholic blackouts make you
forget that is an option and you think I am just a roommate that cooks and
cleans for you.

Just sign me "Titted Out"

PS - Please stop asking everyone's girlfriends when they are going to show
you their "big guns". I know you are drunk when you do it and think it is
very cute and flattering, but you are not a hot, 20 yr old frat guy. You
are a 34 yr old man with the beginnings of a beer gut, and it is unsettling,
not to mention unbecoming.


Confession #884

Honey,
I love you. Absolutely, without a doubt. Love you. Period.

Except...
I love him too. Maybe I love him more, hell I don't know ... I do know that he needs me, that I think about him every day. It's good to be needed. I know you need me, but you never make me feel that way. I'd imagine if I left you wouldn't even notice except that your laundry didn't get done and no one asked you to take out the trash. I have to admit that I wish he'd move to Maryland with us just so I could still be close to him. I know you'd do anything for me, I know you love me and want me to be happy ... I also know you don't deserve this. The most awful part about it is that I think he loves me too. But I don't know ... I'm not sure ... I could very well be blowing smoke up my own ass and I wouldn't even know it. You told me you're uncomfortable with the idea of me spending so much time with him ... You probably should be.
Sometimes (especially at the beginning of our marriage) you used to come to bed drunk and talk about how I loved him more than I love you. You told me yesterday that you thought I was happier with him than I am with you. He makes me happy in a different way than you do. I like having someone around that shares my interests and can listen to the same music, watch the same tv and go to the same movies as me. I want to have a conversation that doesn't involve killing animals. His is the laugh-out-loud-until-milk-comes-out-your-nose, good-feeling-all-day kind of happy. Yours is the feel-good-coming-home, quiet kind of happy. He makes me want to laugh and spin around in circles, you make me want to curl up on the couch at home.

Why?

Why Why Why? Damn it, why? Maybe I don't deserve you and I know that so I'm trying to sabotage us... maybe I married you because it seemed like a good idea at the time ... kind of sporadic and random which is NOT the way a marriage should start but ... there you are. God love you but you got me by pure luck, dearest. If he'd had the balls to come up to me and tell me how he felt I'd be with him. And he loves me in a different way than either of you ... what the hell am I going to do? Love you. Move away. Hide myself.

Confession #885

I’m lonely and I’m hurting. I need you and I keep reaching out to you and you just turn the TV on, can you not feel that this past year could quite possibly be leading to the demise of our marriage? I can’t keep begging you to work with me to fix it, to get back to good. I feel myself becoming resentful, I still love you so much, but I worry, because I know that it could possibly fade away. Please, please hear me. Please pay attention to my words and the silence and tears. I love you and I want us back.

Confession #886

I know that sleeping with other men won't fix the issues of power in our marriage, but it's all I can think of right now.

Confession #887

I know you don't want another child. I know you are scared that I am going to lie and stop taking my birth control. Don't lie to me and say that you don't trust the birth control. It's me you don't trust! I would never intentionally get pregnant without you being on board. If we have another night like last night it will be a damn long time before you get sex again...........if ever! I felt used. I don't appreciate it and I don't deserve it.

Confession #888

I'm in hell. I had an amazing night of passion - an affair, if you will - with a younger man and it was incredible. I thought, no big deal - I'm not attached, this isn't a person I'm having an emotional affair with - it was a one night, strictly physical. I decided, I'd really like to do it again. So recently I had what I thought was a great opportunity. I thought everything would fall nicely into place, and everything was going so well ... I made the suggestion, and after an ackward pause he told me he already had a friend staying with him that night - a pretty girl, his own age (my words, not his). I'm not ancient, by any means, but at that moment I felt every minute of my 28 years. I was so embarrassed, I felt like crawling into a hole in the floor and dying. I made a hasty, ridiculous exit, and spent most of the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, alone, smacking my forehead in disbelief at what a complete ass I could be. I am so, so stupid. I must have left my dignity back in college. And here I am getting ready to start life alone again, as we are separating ... god, I wish I knew what to do. I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in either the married world OR the single world. This whole situation just SUCKS.

Confession #889

Last night as I lay beside you listening to you breathe I felt the first wave wash over me. Today after dropping you off at the airport I drove home listening to music I haven't played since last December, and again I felt the wave. It was a wave of love, warm and wonderful and magical. It pulled me under and enveloped me in the most intense feeling of love, for you.

I haven't felt that kind of overwhelming love for you in quite some time. That's not to say I haven't been loving you, but somehow the intensity had begun to fade, and despite my missing it, I couldn't manage to bring it back. Until last night, your back to me, I reached out to stroke your shoulder and you moaned softly.

I do love you, more than words can say. I love you more than life. And I want this marriage to work, I want that more than I've ever wanted anything. But I'm still afraid of being hurt, of being betrayed. Please don't betray me, don't hurt me. Just love me.

Confession #890

I resent the fact that I am in charge of all Target trips and groceries and when we run out of money tell me "DON'T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!" As though that is even a possibility.



I resent the fact that I am responsible for buying milk, and noticing when we are running low. I resent that fact that when I ask you to pick it up, you just plain forget 50% of the time. AND YOU WORK IN GROCERY STORES. It never even occurs to you to check. Fucking slacker.



I resent the fact that I am responsible for all grocery shopping, all of our child's supplies, clothes, shoes diapers, and when I buy those things, and an occasional extra, you treat me like I AM IRRESPONSIBLE FOR SPENDING MONEY!!!!!!! I MAKE TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!



I resent the fact that it is ALWAYS ASSUMED that I will figure out a way to pay for your credit card, which you MAX OUT EVERY TIME I PAY IT OFF!!!!!



I resent the fact that you are supposed to pay our bills, and at the end of the month that I get a commission check, every time I plan a little extra to buy myself something, you slip in that I need to pay a bill or two and I find out you have not paid A SINGLE BILL ALL MONTH LONG!!!! ARE YOU A DRUG ADDICT? WHERE DOES YOUR FUCKING MONEY GO?



I resent the fact that I waited 3 years for a new stove, and when we finally went out to get one because I could afford to pay cash, you decided we needed a new washer and dryer, which we bought that DAY. Now I have to figure out a way to pay off $2,400.00 in 2 months!!!!!



I resent the fact that you start home improvement projects with NO WAY OF FINANCING THEM, again, saddling me with the responsibility of figuring out how to pay for it. You charge things to Home Depot and guess who figures out a way to PAY!!!! ME!!!!!!



I resent the fact that I am responsible for ALL OF THIS, and you still treat me like a CHILD who needs to be met at the door every time I stay out past 10:00 p.m. with my friends!



I resent the fact that I am supposed to be responsible for all of this, and you freak out on me if I don't lavish you with praise for cleaning the house!!!!!



I resent the fact that you require kudos for every pet project around the house you do, while I am the default person for cooking, bathing, feeding, and dressing our child each and every day, making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, all after I have worked full time each day!


I resent the fact that you take a nap every fucking day while our daughter sleeps, and you still want to talk about how tired you are because of how hard you worked on your pet projects that day. I DON'T GET PET PROJECTS BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY WORKING, COOKING, DRESSING AND FEEDING OUR CHILD!!!!!!

I don't want to have another child because the thought of raising 2 kids plus putting up with all your shit exhausts me. I know I would lose my mind because of all your head-fucking.



I RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU IMPLY I WATCH TOO MUCH TELEVISION WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS I JUST CAN'T STAND TO LISTEN TO YOUR MARTYR SCHTICK ANY MORE WHEN I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED FROM WORKING TO PAY OFF YOUR SHIT!!!


I resent the fact that you have $300 shoes and I can't even afford 2 pairs of pants for work.

I RESENT THE FACT THAT I AM BEING USED FINANCIALLY, WHILE BEING TREATED LIKE I AM IRRESPONSIBLE., WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS YOU ARE THE IRRESPONSIBLE ONE AND YOU GET OFF ON TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!!!!

I resent the fact that you blame all our problems on me, while you are the one who refuses to go to marriage counseling.



I AM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT!!!!

True Wife Confessions 87, total of fourscore and seven....

Confession #871

I know you've been avoiding me and I know you've been lying to me. I think it's hilarious that you assume I am that stupid. If you don't want to be friends anymore at least have the decency, consideration and BALLS to tell me. I've always been there for you. Don't avoid me like a coward. With friends like you, who needs enemies?

Confession #872

By doing nothing now you are confirming your daughter's conviction that you are a bad father.

If you were capable of putting yourself in another's shoes, you might realise that this is likely what your own father did: Nothing. Do you honestly think he liked being the bad father? I'm sure he realised in your absence what it was he'd done to drive you away and wished he could have made some kind of reconciliation, but had no idea how to go about it and so did nothing. It may be easier to do nothing, but look at how much you regret not being able to make amends with him. You do want the same thing to happen with you and your daughter?


Confession #873

Dear Husband,

I love you in every way I can imagine. Except the most important. You don't love my child like you love me or like I love her. Having lived without companionship and love and conversation for so long, I had become accustomed to it. Then, I met you and you were those things and more and I welcomed it. I was cautious and I thought I was right. But, when I'm enjoying and loving you, in front of her and she sees you loving me right back, I feel like she knows that you don't love her, even though I see you try, and I feel like a traitor. And, I am, I suppose. I keep thinking that it'll grow on you, that it takes time, because she's not yours. And, you act like her father when you discipline and talk and explain and instruct, but that is all you do with her. She craves your attention and when you come home and take mine, she tries to get in between so that she isn't left out by you AND me and when you think she's being annoying and I tell you that she needs you, the weak attempts and insincerity almost make me not love you anymore. But, they make me hate myself for meeting the almost perfect man. And, I am going to leave you, because I love her more than I love having you in my life. But, I've never loved anyone like you. And, I keep waiting to hate you for something, to make it easier to leave. And, I hate myself for not leaving and for not thinking that your non-existent relationship with my daughter isn't a good enough reason to leave. And, I am angry, because up until we committed to each other, you were a great Dad. And, I am angry, because I let her call you Dad, when she was just fine having a single Mom and now she feels left out of a whole family. I love you. Oh well. Now she'll be a product of a broken home, instead of the one she started with, which was perfect before you came into our lives with all your promises and idealistic dreams masked as truth and love for the both of us. You are worse than her biological father. He didn't pretend to be here, he just wasn't. She's growing up feeling excluded, like an aggravation and that is not good enough. You should not be my husband. You should not be my father's daughter.

Confession #874

Hubby,

I need to quit my job. If you don't understand why, then I will put
it in terms that you can understand: my boss wants to have sex with
me and given the huge amount of time that I spend at the office, I
feel more and more of a pull towards an infidelity that I do not want
or need.

I am scared ... so very scared of what may happen next. I don't even
want to go to the office tomorrow. I want to hop in the car and drive
somewhere, ANYWHERE else but there. There is just so much dysfunction
(you know it's bad when the HR director is the one engaging in
near-blatant sexual harassment) and I just don't know what to do next.

Please believe me when I say that I love you. Please also believe me
when I say that I need to get OUT of that environment!!!

I do love you. I'll be strong, but if things go too far, I'm giving
my notice. The benefits don't make up for the insanity.

Your adoring wife

Confession #875

So we are still under the same roof - we've decided to try. What I don't know how to tell you is that the last thing in the entire world I feel like doing right now is trying. Getting "advice" from our friends and family is driving me into a state of absolute anger and frustration, and I never want to come home to this place at night. I'm SO sick of talking, that every time you start, I want to scream. I don't know how I'll ever get in the right frame of mind to make this work. I'm frustrated and I'm mad at you simply for being you - and you are great. But not for me. Not right now. And yes, I will probably pay for it later when I'm desperately lonely and you've moved on and have the family you've always wanted. But I think I deserve to to be lonely. I've done quite wrong by you, and I would like this to end, so I can go gallivanting about, sleeping with strangers and living my life alone. Sorry. I feel like if we go to counseling, I'll be going through the motions while picturing the amazing sex I had recently that you will never know anything about.

Confession #876

I love you. You are a wonderful husband and a great provider, but today I wanted to ask you if you were crazy and/or stupid.

You have a good chance at getting a job three hours away that will give you a raise that would be the same as me working, but I would get to still be a stay at home mom. My staying home was something that I thought we both wanted. Yes, I know it would mean moving and that idea scares me as much as it does you. However, being afraid of moving is NO reason to turn the job down when your current company offers to change your status from contract employee to permanent employee and give you only five grand a year more. Five grand is duck sh*t compared to what the other company is offering!

What blows my mind is that you are seriously considering it!

I hope you know that I would never leave you over something as piddly as money; I love you too much. However, if you turn down this opportunity without some serious consideration, I am pretty sure that you will live in hell for a few weeks. Just consider this forewarning.

Confession #877

I can't stop fantasizing about a man I almost dated before my husband and I
reunited after a breakup. My husband is an awesome father, the love and
heart of my life and a really lousy lay. He just doesn't get it no matter
how much I try to give him help, guidance, etc. I am so frustrated that I'm
going to spend the rest of my life not having wall slamming, awesome sex.
Most of the time it just feels like mutual masturbation versus lust.

Confession #878

I have to confess -- I am no longer attracted to you. You've gained about 40 pounds during the past year or two, and that huge beer belly has no appeal whatsoever. Your hair has turned completely grey, and while I can take it on your head, grey chest hair is totally disgusting. And those teeth? Geez -- they're about as yellow as any I've ever seen. With that white mustache right on top of them, they look even worse. All that coffee, smoking, and red wine has taken its toll. So every time I look at you, I see flab, white hair, and yellow teeth. Yuck. I'm no longer interested in getting anywhere near you.

Confession #879

I really wish i could leave you. i am so sick and tired of your constant whining and complaining. you are the most negative person i know. i hate you more every day i stay. i hate dealing with your mother, who you get it from. you treat everyone like crap, then bitch when someone treats you that way.
you wonder why our son wanted to kill himself, you are the reason for his rotten self worth.
i wish you would just die.
i am also really sick and tired of you nagging about sex. i have a full time job, two kids, and you to clean up after. i am not in the mood for sex the minute you touch my breasts.

BEAT IT BOZO.

Confession #880

I have always said that actions speak louder then words. I hope my actions show you everyday, how much I truly care for you, and how much I want you to be happy and satisfied. I love you with my whole heart but unfortunately I never realized how much I care about you until after I had a one night stand with someone else. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Everytime you treat me with anything less then respect I feel like I deserve it because I slept with someone else. You don't know I did it and I want to tell you but I don't want to lose you. I know you would never understand that it was the biggest mistake of my life and Iw ould never do anything to hurt you again. I am not going to tell you, I am going to show you every single day how much I love you. Please forgive me for being so awful.

True Wife Confessions Agent 86

Confession #851

Your tightwad tendencies piss me off more than you will ever know. I know that we're not wealthy and that we can't just throw money away. But it would not kill you to let me spend a little money on myself once in a while without following up with the goddamn riot act. You act like I'm demanding that you cut off your testicle!

Confession #852

I'm glad you're not as blatant about looking at porn on our computer as you used to be. But you're still looking and lying to me about it. I'm not stupid. When I look over there and you close the window you're looking at real fast, I know you're doing something that you know I wouldn't like. I know how to go behind you and see what you're doing, and you still do it. God, you're either a total idiot or you just don't give a damn.

Everybody tells me that all men look at porn. "Men are all about the visual." I believe it, and in theory, I have no problem with it. But when it's you, it just makes me feel even less desirable than I already do. I wouldn't have a problem looking at it with you. But you just have to sneak around, and it makes me feel like you'd rather look at anybody but me and don't want me intruding on it. It makes me feel unloved and unsexy.

I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing. I know the antidepressant made me uninterested in sex for way too long. I think I probably gained all this weight just so you would leave me alone. I've changed medications and the feelings are starting to come back, but you don't even try to touch me anymore after getting shot down for so long. I'm scared that I've ruined that part of our relationship for good. And you looking at other girls who look like I never will doesn't help.

You're such a good man, and you've put up with a lot from me. I don't feel like I can ask you for anything else. But I will--please, please, if you're going to look at it, keep it hidden. In this case, ignorance is bliss.

Confession #853

I am sorry for what I am about to do. This past year has been so extremely isolating for me and I resent the fact that i didn't do much about it. He makes me feel like I am carefree for the first time in a long time. I feel like anything is possible with him. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel hungry. And I know he is hungry for me. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. He makes me feel like I am a woman not just someone's mom. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I cannot stop this from happening because I want it so much...

Confession #854

So how do i make you leave your girlfriend???


Confession #855

I did it. I knew I was going to. I had amazing sex, all night, with a very good friend. In all honesty, I can't wait to do it again

Confession #856

You know we have a diaper pail for a reason

Considering how small this apartment is you think you could use it

I realize you are on strike against using the changing table therefore you'd have to walk 10 feet into his room to throw it away.

Honestly though? I'm going to vomit if you keep throwing our son's nasty diapers in the regular garbage. You know. The garbage you only take out every week or so or until i break down

You know I'd do it if I could. But pregnant, a small child, and health issues restrict me

So you take your sweet time on taking out the trash but for heaven's sake please. Let the rotting diapers rot somewhere that I don't have to smell them. It's hard enough to get an appetite lately but with the rotting shit trash while I try to cook? I've thrown up in my mouth for the last time.

Confession #857

You have made me so crazy these days that I can't even speak without yelling. YOU did this, not me. YOU are a fucking loser, not me. Quit asking the same questions over and over -- it's just confirming that you're an idiot. If you haven't figured "it" out by now, you're never going to figure it out. Grow up and for god's sake get a clue! You've got one thing right: I'm definitely no longer in love with you. Thanks for the assistance with that!

Confession #858

I love you, dear husband. I really do. With all my heart and soul and all that other crap.



But I check your cell phone every single day. I check incoming calls and I check outgoing calls.



Not because I’m afraid there is someone else. I’m not afraid of that at all. I’m afraid someone in your stupid family will call you and make you miserable and upset and I won’t know why you are so unhappy.



I love you. They don’t deserve someone as good and kind as you.

Confession #859

Baby, don't give up your dreams for me, or the kids, or the money. I'll miss you while you're gone, but I'd rather have you gone than sad. So go for it! We can make it work! I'll always be here when you get back home.

Confession #860

I hate your ex-wife, I hate her so much I let it consume me and it makes me want to leave you. I will never understand how she can be so evil and mean, how she can say and do all the awful things she does. Why does she get all the power? I hate myself for letting her get to me and sometimes part of me hates you for having been married to her.

True Wife Confessions 85 tools on the Giant Swiss Army knife

Confession #841

You tell me you love me.
And I KNOW you do.
And I love you too.
We have a daughter together and a life together and so many memories past, present, and future.
There's just one problem.

I want a freaking engagement ring. A big one that sparkles like a star. And a proposal to go with it.

So hurry up, okay? Cause I'm not waiting forever.

Confession #842

I know that I'm overweight but, it doesn't help that you pinch my stomach
and ask me what we're going to name the baby and you know good and fucking
well that I'm not pregnant. And you wonder why we only have sex once a
month. Get a clue dick head.


Confession #843

I wish we never got married. I’ve had affairs with 3 people in the 6 years we’ve been married. One of them lasted over 3 years. I am not attracted to you and I hate giving you a blow job because I get pubes in my mouth and there’s a bump on your penis. Sex is awful because you just hump forever without taking any interest in how I like it. You put me down a lot, and you do it with a smile on your face, thinking it’s funny. You know full well it hurts my feelings but you still think it’s funny and than you get mad when I’m angry at you. DUH! Some days I can’t stand to look at you and I can’t wait for the kids to grow up so I can leave you. You lack conversation, sensitivity and you are selfish and unsupportive. I don’t feel loved and I am constantly lonely. In all the years we’ve been together, my constant attempts to get these things across to you have fallen on deaf and defensive ears. I think you don’t love me, because if you did you would want to help fix us. Ya, there’s a few good days here and there, but my smile is all a mask to cover the intense loneliness and sadness I feel.

Confession #844

I know I'm supposed to be proud that you're over in Iraq fighting for our
country but, your son is growing and learning tons of things everyday and
you're missing it all.

Confession #845

To my Brand New Husband:
I love you more than you will ever know. I know that I don't deserve your
love and care. I wish I could be a better wife to you, and I try, I really
do. I love that we're expecting our first child, and that you're
practically giddy about it. I love that you take me to all my doctor's
appointments, and watch the baby I take care of while we're there. I love
that you make me chocolate milk when I'm cranky, and being me ice cream
without me haveing to ask. I love that you have taken complete
responsibility for the dog that I had to have before we found out about the
baby, I love that you haven't once reminded that she is my dog. I love
everything about you. I love you so much, and I can't get enough of you. I
hope you feel the same way.

Thanks TWC. . .you're amazing!


Confession #846

I hate dealing with your anger.

I hate it when you come home ranting about how much you hate your job and how stupid your co-workers are. I feel like you're yelling AT me.

When I try to commiserate and offer suggestions, you snarl and get sarcastic and tell me all the ways my suggestion won't work, all the while implying that I'm stupid.

When I say nothing, you snarl and demand to know why I'm being silent.

When I try to touch you or hug you, you push me away and tell me you can't deal with that right now. So what the fuck am I supposed to do??!

You usually apologize to me later, but frankly, I'm sick and tired of dealing with this. STOP TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME, YOU PRICK! What you're doing is abusive, and I won't take much more of it!

Confession #847

I had an abortion 18 yrs ago. I never told you.
I think about that baby every day. My heart breaks over what I did. I don't deserve to live.
This is what all the therapy and medications are for. Not for OCD. (another lie....)I made a flippant choice, and I carry it heavy in my heart for the rest of my life.
I'm really sorry.
One day, I hope I can forgive myself.

Confession #848

I honestly don’t think that we are going to make it. I think that last
night was probably the worst fight that we have ever had. We fight all the
time. I’m pretty sure that you don’t love me anymore. I still love you but
I hate how angry I am all the time. If this thing we’re calling a marriage
ends it’ll be both our faults. I get frustrated too easily and scream at
you even though I know that you hate it; I can’t help it. I don’t know how
>to get you to listen. I tell you what I need over and over again but you
just don’t listen, or you don’t remember and I get hurt and frustrated and
angry and start screaming and that isn’t working either. Today I looked
into how much an apartment would run me if I left you. I hope we can work
things out because I love you so much but I can’t handle this much longer

Confession #849

I wear your shirt and sleep on your side of the bed when you're on
deployments just so the pain won't hurt so much when you're gone.

Confession #850

We waited for years to end up together, you and I. Through all our
separate relationships we managed to maintain a wonderful relationship
and always, in the back of my mind, and yours too, there was the
thought that we could end up together.

Well, it happened. You left your girlfriend, I was still single, and we
ended up seeing eachother. Everything was wonderful. We were even
better as a couple than we had been as friends. But after a few weeks,
she came crying and you took her back. It broke my heart, but I knew I
couldn't compete with the time you spent together and the security she
provided. You stopped talking to me completely. I was devastated. It
felt like everything you had told me for MONTHS had been a complete lie.

I'm pregnant. With your baby. I'm only a month in and I've got to make
a choice. You told me to keep it. You said you don't agree with
abortion and would never pass on the chance to bring a baby into this
world. But you can't support a child, and neither can I. I'm still in
school. I haven't finished my degree and I barely make enough to pay my
own bills, nevermind raise a baby. I don't want to do this, but I'm
having an abortion. It goes against everything I believe, EVERYTHING,
but I can't bring a baby into the world knowing what kind of life it
would have. You left me once, you'll leave me again.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the life I'm preventing. I'm sorry for the
pain I'll always feel and the regrets I will carry for the rest of my
life.

True Wife Confessions 84 -International direct dial to Vietnam

Confession #831

I know neither of us want to have kids. I don't like
the thought of being pregnant or giving birth, and I
don't know how I would do with the daily grind of
raising children. But sometimes when I think of the
possibility that you might die before me, I want to
change my mind because then at least I would still
have part of you with me in the form of a child.

I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to
love someone. I know we occasionally irritate each
other, and I know you sometimes get annoyed when I
want to hang out with you all the time and you just
want to watch sports with your friends. I don't want
to be morbid, but I know that if you were to die I
would give absolutely anything just to spend one more
hour with you and I want to take full advantage of all
the time we've got. I might regret wasting time doing
other stuff but I would never regret spending more time
with you. You are my best friend and my other half
and I hope we have 80 more years together.

Confession #832

I need you to know that I love you with all me heart. I am so afraid that I
will wake up some morning and you will be gone. No not to another woman, but
gone from this earth.
You know what kind of basket case I was after my mom passed away. Her
leaving so suddenly just ripped me open.
Thinking of facing each day without by my side terrifies me.
For the past 24 years you have been my strength. You have been the best
father, step-father and now grandfather.
You have ridden this roller coaster with me and it hasn't be such a bad
ride. But now that we are getting older and talk so much about retiring I
fear that before that day comes something will happen to shatter our plans.
Forgive me for being a worry wart. But you see without that shinning face
of yours, and the gentle touch that you have and the way that you know that
my day just hasn't been quite right I would be a mess.
And what about all of these children?? I know all but 3 are grown and some
are parents now too, but what would they do without you to lean on, to share
with? You the only Mets fan in the bunch. Who would they have to tease about
that?
Please know in my heart you always will be. Jesus brought us together for a
reason and I will never question Him, I will only praise Him and thank Him
for He knew what I needed before I did.
I thank you for everything. No matter how tight money is you always make
sure the kids have what they need. Thank you for keeping me centered and
helping me to put the past behind me and reminding me that not any of it was
my fault.
I send you tender kisses and gentle hugs everyday until you go home to be
with our Lord.

Confession #833

4 and a half years ago, after failing miserably to flirt with you, and then having to almost beg you for sex; you said you'd come through to the bedroom in a minute, and proceeded to keep me waiting 15 minutes.
Then you switched on the bedroom TV and watched football as you undressed. You never looked at me once. Your eyes were glued to the screen. It took you at least 5 minutes to undress, because you were so riveted to the TV. It wasn't even 'your team'. If it had been 'your team' , I would have known not to even bother trying. It was just 'some team from another league'.. not an important game, just a game. I was really annoyed that you were so glued to it when it meant nothing to you. It must have meant that making love with your wife meant even less than nothing.

The sex was average. Bog-standard. Quick and painless. Mechanical. I cant even remember now whether or not i had an orgasm, but i probably didn't.

As we lay there afterward, you watching the football ( you at least had the decency to switch it over to music videos while we were doing it, but then switched it back to the football once we'd finished), I calmly and quietly and with no trace of anger in my voice, said to you, 'Next time, it's your turn to initiate sex. I'm tired of being the one who always initiates it.' I think you said 'ok', but i cant really remember now.

But that time, 4 and a half years ago, was the last time we had sex. Because if i don't initiate it, it apparently doesn't happen.

The first 2 years, after that last time, were tough. I was gagging for it... I'd have jumped on you in a heartbeat if you'd asked me. But i was sticking to my guns. I wanted to see how long it would take you to turn things around... to be a man. And it didn't happen. Gradually, i started getting used to not having sex, and now i don't miss it at all. Now i live in fear that one day you are going to want it. And I don't want it ... not at all.

Confession #834

I like pretending that our big, underlying problems will go away: your anxiety, my attempting eating disorder recovery with you around, the drinking that assuages your anxiety, the anger that's sparked by your drinking, the eating disorder relapses that are sparked by your drinking. I keep telling myself, "We're young. I'll get over being so sensitive when he's anxious about 'bad' food or some big deal at work. He'll get over when other guys talk to me and how he drinks a bottle of wine a night, and slurs his words, and falls asleep before 8:30."

I know I'm a dirty liar. I know I've either got to get you to deal with all this stuff WITH me, or that we're headed for that 50/50 path to divorce.

We're not even going to be married for eleven months yet.

Confession #835

I'm actually glad I found your profile on that nasty website. Now I have a good, concrete reason to leave your sorry ass and never look back. And you're right, I'm not in love with you anymore. You have managed to kill any good feelings I had for you, and instead of being a man and telling me you wanted "passion" and to have those "feelings" (for somebody else) you had to take the cowardly way out. Again. So I'm going to have the balls that you never did, and end this nightmare once and for all.

Confession #836

I love you more than life itself BUT please don't talk to me while I'm sitting on the toilet. We've been married for more than a decade and we've always had a closed door policy. It's bad enough that the kids walk in on me with wild abandon. Don't you start doing it too. It's nice that you want to talk to me and all but please, just give me a minute. Or 5.

Confession #837

Yes, we're anonymous. And we only write because we're sure we'll stay that way.

Were it not so, would I say how much I've come to dread sex with my husband, whom I love but who makes me feel like nothing more than a hole in the mattress?


Confession #838

I need to say this.....when I didn't want to have sex because I had been having nightmares about my childhood, about how I was molested, and I just needed to talk about it, I felt so messed up inside, so hurt and wounded.....you wouldn't take no for an answer. You took off my clothes while I struggled, you did your thing while i lay sobbing, saying no, you got off and said I'm sorry....you raped me. At one of my lowest possible moments you did that to me. You shattered all the sense of safety and security I had left, the safety I thought I had now in my adult life, now that the rest was the past. You made me empty inside. And I stayed for 3 more years and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not being able to protect myself as an adult, I hate myself for thinking so little of myself that I would accept that. I hate you for the hell you put me through in those last 3 years, when I would freeze up during sex, and never want to be with you like that. I used to have panic attacks just praying you would hurry up. And all you could think about was yourself and you treated me like nothing, like i was worthless for not being able to satisfy you. I feel ruined and I hate you. I just needed you to love and support me thru a terrible time, and thats what you did to me. I thank God you will never have the opportunity to touch me again.

Confession #839

to my dearly beloved:

i suppose it would bother you to call me once in a while. (me talkin' selfish)

i stayed home sick from work today. im not feeling well. (and that's true)

i miss my husband and im FUCKING sick of it. (that doesn't even do it justice)

i love you and i cant even tell you. (i want to tell you)

why did it come to this anyway? (the age-old question)

lets examine the situation (hmmmmmmmm....)

i fell in love with you; and you with me (6 years ago)

we got married and had a wonderful --though challenging--time (but worth it)

but marriage was and is the best thing weve ever experienced (seriously)

and yet we decided to put it on the line (why? why? why?)

and test it one more time ( 1 )

the hardest time of all (hard)

and were hanging in there and being strong (we are, i am, are you?)

but were learning a lesson weve already learned (3 times over)

we already knew we love eachother (i always knew)

we already knew we are faithful (i swear i am)

we definitely already knew nothing can break us apart (nothing ever has)

so why are we going through this again? (?)

well i hate it because being away from you is like a prison sentence

not even lethal injection would be worse

when you get home my life will resume from being on pause

and if you still love me ill be the most blessed person on earth

(and quite possibly mars)

(oh, did you hear that Pluto is no longer considered a planet? i swear on us that's true. they demoted it recently and now there are only 8 planets i swear on us)

ok i love you

Stay safe out there and come home soon. Only 8 more months Sergeant!

Confession #840

If you could just PRETEND to take an interest in the wedding planning, it would make me feel so special. I have given up so much for you: My acting, my writing, my independent career. I went to work with you because I'm too spineless to stand up to you and admit that we may have different lifestyle ideals (even though I'm not really sure what mine are at all, or if they're different from yours). Can you please see that I like organizing and planning things, and that our wedding is a hugely important thing to me, and that I need you to act like you think it's important too? Please, please see that. Please see that our wedding planning is more important than one of your problems at work. Please see that our wedding is more important than your fucking fantasy football league.

True Wife Confessions 83, a song by John Mayer...sigh.

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True Wife Confessions 82 - The # of games in a regular NHL season (for you, Nancy!)

Confession #811

I'm not positive that I want you for anything more than sex. I have pondered it, and even with our past as a teacher I think there's a good chance we could work as a pair. I'm not obsessing about it this time. If we try to force it, it won't happen. Neither of us can be forced. I can be patient and I know you can too. I admire you, respect you, and even find your "bad" traits endearing. I've never said it out loud, because there's so much bullshit surrounding this stupid word, but I fucking love you (too.) Just for being you. It's never been extremely passionate, but you've always remained on my brain. I just didn't think we'd get this chance again so I moved on. Maybe we won't actually get the chance, and that's fine, but I'm glad we're at least talking. I've never enjoyed talking to someone as much as I enjoy talking to you. We really get each other and I think we compliment each other in all the right ways. If we end up doing it, we have to do it right this time. I don't want to wonder what could've been anymore. Lets not fuck it up again.

Confession #812

I honestly feel like you have ruined my life. I refer to "my old life" before you, when I actually felt alive and successful. You have made me a worthless failure. I know that I will be a nobody as long as I stay with you. I knew that when I married you. I keep hoping you will change and thank my some day.

Confession #813

You are 9 days away from losing me. I'm not kidding. If you haven't called in 9 more days, you can go find yourself a new best friend. I understand that you are busy and I understand that you work weird hours. But it's been 8 days since I saw you and 6 days since you ended a 5 minute conversation with "I'll call you back." I'm tired of being the one who makes the effort and I'm tired of being taken for granted. We've had this fight before and I've looked past it. But no more. It's going to take way more than a funny comment or a great day spent together to get me back in your life if you screw this up. In 9 days I will begin the progress of getting over the last three years. It'll be one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I will do it. It's your call.

Confession #814

Today you brought up your idea of us going away for an extended weekend. At first I thought that maybe you wanted to do this so we can reconnect, knowing how troubled our marriage has become lately. However, the fact that you started to bitch and complain as soon as I oh-so-gently brought up that a seven hour drive to go somewhere for a short weekend (while leaving our toddler for the first time in a very long time), may not be such a great idea for such a short stay, made me not even want to do this. The fact that you sound and act like a child whenever you don't get your way, while lacking all sense of logic, makes me resent and loathe you even more. The truth is, I don't think going anywhere with you is gonna help this shitty relationship. We could go to Mars and you'd still be a dick.

Confession #815

The umpteenth night you wet the bed, I told you: if you didn't at least step to with at least 30 minutes of physical contact a night to compensate for your general alcoholic neglect of my feelings, I was going to have an affair. You vowed to change, but then you had a stressful evening and I was sure your efforts were doomed. I prayed to God that you would at least not be hateful to me, even if you were going to drink yourself into oblivion. You surprised me by mastering your frustrations without drinking that night, and now you've been relatively sober and way more considerate than usual for a whole week. It is so, so pleasant not to be pissed off at you and to think we might get through the rest of our married life without hating each other after all ... please, please keep with it.

But I am kind of sorry I don't have an excuse now for the affair. Oh well. It would have been hot, too.

Confession #816

You are a perfectly nice person, but I do not love you. I want to leave but you are making this very hard for me. We do nothing but fight because we are completely different people with different goals in life. Please stop trying to fix this relationship and let me go. It is the best thing for us and we both know it. I feel so guilty about leaving when you are trying so hard to fix things that can never be fixed. I am tired of sacrificing everything that I want and hold dear for you and not getting much in return. It is just part of your nature and I accept it. But I can't live with it anymore. And I am not going to try to change you because the effort is futile. And you should realize that applies to me too. We are both simply too set in our ways. For once in your life please concede the battle and let it go. Acknowledge that we made a mistake and move on.

Confession #817

I am jealous of you. It makes me sick that you only have a high school
diploma and make more money than me while I worked my butt off for 4 years
in college and can't find a decent paying job. I love that you are able to
support us and our son, but inside it makes me cry that my degree might as
well be a GED because the job market in our town sucks. And I know you are
as dissapointed in me as I am even though you have never said it directly.
I'm sorry I lash out at you, it is my self defense for my very low self
esteem. I have gained 100 lbs since we got married and you deserve better
than a fat wife who can't even get a job to pay off her own student loans.
I love you so much and pray that you will never get tired of putting up with
me.


Confession #818

We've been married for 18 years, that have mostly been great. You are the only man I've ever been with, and I felt like we would always be together.

But guess what I just found out? My last pap smear revealed that I have HPV. How on earth does a woman with one sexual partner for 18 years suddenly get HPV? I can only think of one way, you fucking cheater.

Confession #819

To my ex-husband,
I promised you that if I was ever ready to introduce another man into our children's lives I would inform you. Well consider your self informed. While I am at it let me inform you about a few other things. I have been dating him for three months and sleeping with him for two months. In that time he has given me more orgasms than you did in the entire 10 years we were together. He loves to have sex with me and can't keep his hands off me. Remember how you only wanted sex once every two weeks and then it only lasted like 5 minutes? He wants me all the time. I have finally met my match! He can't believe how Say I am to please. Let's face it. You are not a very tough act to follow. He's tall. Very tall. I can wear my highest heels and he still has to bend over to kiss me. I love that. Remember how I had to wear flat slippers and make sure my veil did not pouf up over my head at our wedding so I wouldn't tower over you. I never minded your height, or lack thereof. I minded that I was made to feel like "Lurch" as you kindly put it. 5'10" is not "freakishly tall" for a woman.

I wanted to laugh in your face last month when you accused me of being jealous of your girlfriend. I actually don't have a problem with her. I am, of course, concerned about anyone who is spending time with my children and I did not think it was appropriate for you to bring her to Parents' Night at our daughter's school but I am not jealous. Why would I be? That poor girl has a lot of disappointment coming her way. I know why she is so crazy about you. I felt that way myself once. You put on a really good show in the beginning. But one of these days she is going to reach for you in the night and you will push her away and say "get off me. I don't want that right now." And then you will do it again and again and again until next thing she knows she will be grateful for any kind of affection you are willing to throw her way. One of these days she will not be feeling well and she will leave some dishes in the sink or will forget and use the wrong kind of rice and you will flip out and tell her she is a lousy girlfriend or wife or whatever. I hope for her sake she is smarter than I was.

You will meet my new man soon enough. You are going to hate him. You always hate people who make you look bad by being better at things than you are. I don't have words for how much better he is at making me happy.

Confession #820

Don't lie to me. Don't offer to get the kids up and take them to
school at some nebulous time in the future and then tell me no when I
ask you to do it. You wonder why I never think to ask for your help?
Because when I do, you either have something else planned or you're too
tired.
Hello? I have twice as many credit hours this semester as you do. Not
only that, but I work. You don't. I know, it was my idea for you to
take your first semester off work so you could concentrate on school,
but I really thought you would help out a little more around the house.
(Shows what I get for thinking, huh?)
If I say I'm depressed, don't act like its all in my head. Don't tell
me 'well, don't'. If it gets bad enough that I'm telling you, I'm not
looking for sympathy- I'm warning you to watch it, because every time I
get this way, I get one step closer to kicking you out. I could do it
on my own. You and I both know I could. You need me. I don't need
you. You're only still here because I choose to keep you around.
Today, I'm wondering why.

True Wife Confessions 81 Don't piss off Lizzie Borden

Confession #801

When I came back from my last trip, I looked you in the eye and realized I wasn't happy to see you. I had been gone for a month and that whole time I wasn't sure what my reaction would be when I saw you again. Maybe it is because a distance has grown between us that is greater than the distance between Canada and Egypt. Maybe it is because when I called you from Cairo you got off the phone quickly to spend more time with the boys, drinking. Whatever the reason I just need to find a way to say Good-bye.

Confession #802

I love you. You are a good man, and a good husband. I kissed someone else recently, and although we'd all been drinking, I made the decision, I took the action, and the only part I regret is that the memory of it is fading. I don't understand why I want to run wild with all sorts of other men. I don't understand why my sex drive for you has dissapeared. I don't think that I deserve to stay married to you - your trust and your patience are infinite, and I don't deserve either of those things. The other man isn't anybody to me, but the kiss was something I will always remember and I will never tell you about. I miss the heart-pounding excitment of someone new. I wonder if I will be able to pull my head out of my ass and save our marriage. I don't know.

Confession #803

You are a punk-ass dick. Your laziness and narcissism know no bounds.

For example: tonight, when "we" made dinner for our friends? I looked up recipes, visited three different grocery stores, spent $50 on groceries, made 2 appetizers, a main dish, two sides and bread. About 3 hours of my time. I was glad to do it, though, to make everything good and nice.

And you? You threw a hissy fit because I asked YOU to cook the rice. Poor baby had to get off his ass for 5 minutes.

You suck.

Confession #804

From one wife to another...

I'm sorry for sleeping with your husband for 18 months. But your the dumb ass, who decided to stay with him after receiving a copy of my blog and finding out that not only had we been seeing each other several times a week for 18 months, but that we spent a weekend together in your house 10 years ago.
He was engaged to me 24 years ago, it should be apparent to you by now, that he will never get over me. So don't see back and act as though your the victim in all of this. Your no victim, we did this right under your nose. I showed up at your family outings and I was on the beach with you on your family vacation. He was inviting me to all of these places, because he enjoyed seeing me while you were sitting right there.
He gave me the key, the garage door opener, and the security to your house, so that I retrieve the condom wrapper that we left on your dresser. So no one, broke into your house to find that you cut the sizes out of all of your clothes. Honey, if your embarrassed about your fat ass.....lose weight.
I don't know how you can stay with a man that you will always be suspicious of. You have to go to all the sports event that he used to share with his son, just so that he won't meet up with me for a kiss. When you found out, he told me to just give you some time to get over it, and then we'd be back on. From this point forward, it will always be in the back for your mind, is he thinking of her, is he loving her in his mind? I can assure you, that he is. Enjoy your life with your wimpy ass husband who loves another woman and always will.
But please stop whining about it, it was your choice to stay with him.

Confession #805

I hate what a liar you are. I can never believe a thing you say. I don't have the energy - or money - to go to counseling any more. Liars are my biggest pet peeve. The irony is not lost on me that that's what I ended up married to. You think it's funny to lie to me as a joke, and it's not. I can't even count the times I've told you that IT'S NOT FUNNY. And lying about doing chores around the house... you can't even get off your ass to help me out? I'm 6 weeks pregnant with a child we've tried for for nearly two years, and after already having one miscarraige I'm trying to take it easy. And yet you have to yell at me when I ask you to pick up around the house.

I know you work and I don't, but I'm busting my ass at school and trying to take care of myself for the sake of our unborn child. This doesn't mean it's okay for you to hide in the basement and play xbox when I've asked you a million times to pick up after yourself. You are a slob. I know I'm not the neatest person ever but I cleaned this house top to bottom a couple weeks ago, right before I found out I was pregnant. Ever since then you've barely lifted a finger and this place is a shithole. You want to bring our baby into this? Why don't you just clean up after yourself instead of lying to me about it?

I love you and I really don't think I'll ever leave you but you wear me so thin sometimes. I wish you would grow the fuck up, quit lying, be a man and take care of your house and family. AND QUIT LYING. AND PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF. I'm not your fucking maid, and you know that when I try to do too much, I get cramps. That can't be good for the baby. Why can't you just help me out? Why can't you be nice to me other than the times when I break down and cry?

Confession #806

At first I lied because I was embarrassed and it just went too far.
I lost my virginity to you- not him.
I'm terrified that you'll find out my secret and that you'll think our
marriage is based on lies.
I love you and would never lie to you- I've been completely honest with you
about everything else.
A part of me hopes you read this and knows, somehow, that it's me saying it.
Don't leave me

Confession #807

When you asked me if I liked him for more than a friend, I lied. I did have romantic feelings for him, but they are gone now. I never acted on them physically, although they did confuse me. I am worried that emotional cheating might be worse than physical cheating.

Marriage is so much harder than I ever expected that it would be. I know that we are going to counseling and working on things, but I don't know how much more I can take. I am thankful that you are willing to go to counseling, because many men wouldn't even dream of it, but everything you do annoys me.

The reason that I did like him for more than a friend was because he made me feel special. He said nice things to me everyday and he made me feel smart, funny, and sexy. He listened to me and cared what I had to say. Also, after not having an orgasm for soooo very long, his words helped me to feel good again.

I don't know why you don't understand how your drinking and smoking might repulse me when you want to get close. I don't know why you don't understand that chosing television or alcohol over me hurts me a lot. Things need to change, babe. No matter how much you love me or I love you, I can't keep living this way. I'm sorry for what I did, but I needed to feel loved and important. I will never tell you because I don't want to hurt you. I really just wish that you could give me what I need.

Confession #808

Dear Husband,

I am madly in love with the guy I work with. You know him. The one I brought home to meet you and then he practically moved in with us? The one that went on vacation with us? The one you consider such a 'good guy'? Yeah him. I am in love with him. Head over heels. If I could get him to lower his morals long enough for me to get him in bed It would be magical. Go ahead and tell him it is OK to fuck me because you sure aren't interested any more. Oh yeah, he also tells me I am the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He has told me he loved me on way more than one occasion. That is more that you have said EVER. He won't consider making a move because of you and his high morals. So, do something for ME for a change. Give him your approval. I need it and so does he. Sex that is.

Your wife.

Confession #809

I cannot wait for the day that your divorce is final; we were meant to be together. I love spending time with you and it doesn't matter what we do as long as I am by your side. Because of your patience with me, I have grown to respect and love you more than I thought was possible. You are my friend and my lover and hopefully one day you will be my husband.

I can say "I love you" even in the midst of an argument because you are so understanding and forgiving. I even love arguing with you because I know that it will not be counterproductive. I love you so much and I have not told you any of this because I am waiting for the day that you are legally free from the bondage that wrongfully represented your marriage.

I dream of the family that we will have together. I am missing you so much as I write this confession. We will be together soon, but not soon enough. I am patiently waiting for you, my love.

Confession #810

I am trying desperately to figure out a way to love you again. The truth is, although I used to love you, and was somewhat "in" love with you, I was never wildly in love with you, even when we first got together.

That's ok, though, as I was aware of the lack of passion, drama and intrigue between us when we began dating - and I was actually more than ok with that. I was consciously deciding to forego the "high highs" in order to avoid the "low lows".

While dating for an year and a half and in the first two years of our marriage, we had a good time. We were compatible. We loved each other and also let each other be. We respected each other. We traveled and had lots of fun, partying and whatnot.

Right on schedule, we got pregnant when I'd wanted to. Around that time, I changed. Grew up - got "boring". some would say. You never complained, and even made some changes of your own - I have to give you that.

But then you got laid off and did not work for a YEAR. A full year, at the time that we had a newborn baby, and I worked every day and we DROPPED OUR BABY OFF AT DAYCARE - you stayed home, playing video games and practicing poor hygiene.

I tried to cut you some slack because you had lost your dad a few months before. I do think you went through a depression. But the bottom line is, though I tried to fight it, I lost all respect for you. And I cannot just get it back.

Truth is, your flaws just started rising to the surface as more time went by. You lack ambition, you can be LAZY, you don't mind sitting back and letting me do everything, you are immature, you can be selfish. You always seem to make the wrong choice, in my mind.

As my respect for you disintegrated, everything else started to go, too. Our sex life went completely away. First, it was all from my end - but now I feel it from your end, too. All of the ED and Viagra and Cialis, etc. - what gives? I think your weak sex drive cannot stand up to the fact that my body has changed after 2 kids (although I am 120 lbs. and work out 4-5 days per week). So now, we have NO sex life.

Unfortunately, we do not have a friendship to fall back on. You golf/smokecigars/play online poker ad nausem, I run in 5Ks. We spend all of our time apart, except when watching TiVo. We are not friends, we are not even good roommates - more like partners in the raising of our children.

Is this it? I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I am so schizophrenic when it comes to this relationship - I try to get my mind "right" - but each time, you do something that pisses me off / repulses me / disappoints me.

I feel for our children.

True Wife Confessions 80 Around the world in Days

Confession #791

When we got married 11 years ago I truly believed that I could love you forever. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm angry with myself for believing in you in the first place.

You're a great guy and probably the smartest person I know. But, why are we living in near poverty right now?

Oh! I know! I know! Because you can't (or won't) get your shit together. For a guy with a 4.0+ GPA and a computer science degree (6 years post graduation!!), you sure are stoopid!

I'm so angry right now that you've taken a perfectly great career path and done nothing with it. Not even 5 years ago you were making excellent money and now you're making $15/hr and we're living in near poverty.

I told you when you first decided you wanted to go into business with Moe, Larry and Curly that it WAS NOT GOING TO WORK. Why didn't you listen to me? Why didn't you take my advice and move on and work towards getting your career back on track?

Now, here we are with 2 children with not a damn thing to show for it. You're making $15/hr and can't seem to find the motivation to get us out of this mess. You say that you're working towards getting us out of this hole and you feel badly that you didn't make better career choices. Ok. Fine. Then why are you napping in the middle of the day instead of looking for a fucking job?!


LOSER!!

Confession #792

I am in shock. We have gone to marriage counseling. We've both heard how when we're angry we're supposed to use "I feel" statements. We are not supposed to use "loaded words". For 10 years now I've never felt like I've ever gotten through to you when we have an arguement. You say my feelings are unreasonable. You tell me I need to step in with a solution. When I do so, you tell me its not reasonable. You've just told me (in front of our child) that you "don't give a flying fuck about (my) feelings". You left the house angry. I suspect that when you do come home you will feel pefectly justified in what you said to me. And you will not apologize. Because this is what you do if the fight gets bad enough. Usually, I don't let that happen. I usually just give up. When I give up, I start to hate myself. And I start to hate you. And I hate that even when I give up and tell you that you have a point, to try to calm you down, that you still find ways to punish me afterwards. I guess we won't be having sex for at least a week because of this. Odds are you will probably not come home tonight either. I have told you in the past that if you stay out all night one more time, that's it. I'm gone.

Confession #793

I hope the man I slept with (with your permission) is at the party tonight. I still think about him but I'm still madly in love with you.

Confession #794

You have been reading Playboy and watching porn for thirty years. You've had girlfriends before me. Why is it that your enitre repertoire consists of "tweak tweak thrust thrust" in the missionary position?

Confession #795

When I catch you in a lie and you give me that hurt puppy dog look I want to slap you. Grow up and act like a man. If you think I'm being unreasonable, tell me instead of sneaking around my back.

Confession #796

We had three fights this week about the same thing. Its about our neighbors and how you let them freeload off of us. How they now EXPECT us to take care of their child. And how you often invite their child in and then expect me to babysit/feed her. The fight is also about how their special needs child has walked into our home without us knowing it. About how that child has had temper tantrums in our house (when he walked in uninvited) and had our son backed against a wall, cringing. I take that seriously. You say I have a chip on my shoulder regarding that family. The fight was also about how this special needs child will hit puberty soon and he doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what his surging hormones drive him to do. Its about how I've done research on this and how you haven't. You keep telling me there won't be any problems, I'm being a horrible, prejudiced person. You can call me that all you want. But I'm worried about my son. I'm worried that this oversized 10-year-old (who weighs about what I do) could over take our 35-pound son. I worry because we KNOW these people don't watch their children.

I don't know what to do. Yes, I don't like these people. But I feel it in my gut that something's bound to go wrong unless we take steps... And these people are sue-happy. And I worry that if their child were to hurt herself at our house, they'd sue us. Your retort to this was that I shouldn't worry. Since I stay home, you make all of the money and the house is yours. So they'd be suing you and not me. You tell me I'm being petty, mean and selfish. But you CLEARLY do not see this in yourself.

Confession #797

I'm not sure if it is your personal body chemistry or the medication you take, but your spunk STINKS. I'd like to stay and cuddle after we have sex, but as soon as you come I want to get that funk out of me. Even douching I smell it for 2-3 days afterwards, a blend of rotten dog hair and BO. I'm afraid other people will think it is me making that weird aroma. I used to love oral sex, but I can't take that weird medicinal taste, either. Sex used to be so fun and spontaneous. Now I feel like I need a haz-mat suit and a clean room before you get in my underwear.

Confession #798

I'm sorry but I'm done.

You are a great father and the kids love you, you are thoughtful are caring and responsible and probably would have made a perfect stay at home dad.
But your drinking and inability to trust me have worn me down, even though you are not as much of an assohole as you used to be. The years of drunken verbal abuse, completely ridiculous and unfounded accusations, and your insistance that I worry about what you might possibly think I'm up to if I say a certain thing that is out of the norm, or go visit my best friend. I don't give a fuck what you THINK I'm doing. I'm not doing anything, you asshole. Just because the sleezy ho's you hung out with when you were in a band used to fuck eachother's boyfriends, that is not a cross section of the general population. Your ideas about women are really fucked up and you need to get the fuck over it now. I am not FUCKING ANYONE, asshole. I never even thought about until you pounded it into my head, and now I want to.

When we are getting along I sometimes remember why I love you. I do still love you but I'm not in love with you anymore, you killed it a few weeks ago when you came home drunk, not even wasted, and started being an obnoxious argumentive dick. I withdrew from you like always and then I never came back, it just didn't happen this time.

When you are sober and not hung over I think you are a wonderful person, and I still really like you. We have fun together and I hope we can always be friends.

I told you the other night that I might consider staying with you if stopped drinking and trusted me completely. But I don't want to stay with you, I want to get on with my life without you holding me back because you are terrified I will leave you. Well I am leaving, I'd be gone already if you had any money to pay the mortgage. I can't wait unitl you can afford to move out. Everything is too hard, and I'm exhausted from arguing with you for 12 years. Even though you don't do that fucking silent treatment thing anymore I still remember the 6000 times you did it, sometimes for 4 or 5 days. I think you finally stopped doing it when you figured out that I didn't give shit anymore and I was happy you were leaving me the fuck alone so we didn't have to have another completely useless argument where you invariably told me I was selfish and there was no point in talking me.

So I'm done, and I'm sorry that you I am going to hurt you.

Confession #799

I didn't mind that you watch porn. I just wish that we could watch it together, as an adult couple in a committed relationship. Instead you watch it alone, while I'm at work or late at night after I've gone to bed. It hurts me that you're still so shy about your sexuality after all of these years, and nervous that you have something to hide. It makes me feel like there is something you need that I can't give you. You tell me that you'll never cheat on me, but you're giving the best of yourself to these "ideal" girls in their early twenties who are always "ready", never suffer PMS or a bad day at work, and are thin and beautiful. How could I compete? Why would I want to?

Confession #800

Its to the point where I think its just a lost cause. I think this is where I start to look for a job and a new place to live. You aren't interested in going to the marriage therapist anymore. You think its all my problem. I don't want to be divorced. But in all honestly, I've lost alot of respect for you. And you've really hurt me. To my very core

If I tell you that, I'm pretty sure of the reaction I will get. You will say, "You need to get over this. You need to move on. You just LOVE to hang on to that sort of thing." There won't be an apology. There rarely is.

True Wife Confession 79 - End of my first decade

Confession #781

You are the best husband that I could ever wish for. I know that you
know that I betrayed you but both of us are pretending it never
happened.

I wonder if it's better to just move on like this and I'm glad that
there was no confrontation about what i had done. It's just that I
don't know if it affected you, if you ever think about it, how it
affects you still, because you seem to be able to brush everything off
and nothing really bothers you and I just hope that you are ok.

I don't know how I got into that situation. I wasn't intending to do
that. At first I didn't accept the blame in my heart. I blamed him for
making me do it and coercing me into that situation, knowing how badly
I needed to feel a certain way. Now I take full responsibility for
what I did. Now I'm paying the price because i should never have
trusted another person and I got betrayed right back.

I love you with all my heart. You are the kindest, sweetest man in the world.
I don't deserve you and I think everyone knows that.

Confession #782

How can you be so awful to me? So cold, so mean, so utterly without feeling? You once loved me enough to marry me. I gave you your son, whom you love so much.
We've been apart for two years, and they've been the happiest two years of my adulthood, but when you do these awful things, it still hurts. I just don't understand how you can love someone, and then hate them. How can you treat me this way, after everything I did for you?


Confession #783

I can appreciate that you're a sensitive egg and love your family and want to spend time with them. However, being so fragile that you felt the need to leave your stressful job (working 45 hours a week) for one that might have been less time consuming but end up having crappier pay is not acceptable.

Since then in pursuit of another good paying job you have now been home with our daughter for 7 weeks (and will probably be close to 8 1/2 by the time you go back to work) while I work and carry the health insurance for the family for mediocre pay. 7 weeks already, is 2 more than I got to spend with her when she came home from the hospital a sick preemie. Sometimes I wish I had the luxuries you allow yourself and force on our family.

Confession #784

I said in August I was going to leave. I did. You won’t stop calling, emailing and generally making my life hell.

You stood me up, you lied to me and about me to your friends, you forgot my birthday, anniversaries, etc. You have never once in over 6 months come to a Dr’s appointment with me, a treatment, a middle of the night emergency room visit. You were never there for me. Talking to me from the bar for 5 minutes after I find out the cancer is back is not being supportive.

And somehow because I can’t take it anymore, I leave, I ask you to stop calling me – somehow I am being abusive. Well if the truth is abusive, then so be it. I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t care what your drunk 35 year old frat buddies think of me. I do care what I think of myself and what my son thinks of me. I feel battered, depressed and ugly from the last 3 years with you. I can just imagine what my son thinks of me.

I delete your voicemails without listening, your emails without reading and ignore your friends. But I still feel like I am going crazy. I covered for you for so long, that everyone thinks you’re wonderful. You’ve even begun to believe the lies you have told yourself.

You didn’t want me when I was there – I was never as important as the next beer or party – so why do you care that I’m gone? I am never coming back. You can not convince me anymore that you will change. All trust is gone. Please, please just leave me alone.

Confession #785

Every day when you get home from work and won't rest until you find me, kiss me, tell me you love me, and ask me how my day was, I suddenly realize...You are the best thing to ever happen to me.

And I'm grateful. I love you too.

Confession #786

I had confessed that I didn't know how to tell you we may be pregnant again. The hatred and hostility your whole family is showing me has made me decide to get an abortion without even telling you. I'm also planning on packing my bags and leaving, since you have stopped defending me. I don't want to have any more ties to you and your freakishly nosey family than the one we already have.

Confession #787

Dear Asshole



I hate you!!! And I mean it!

Confession #788

When you showed up at home with Flowers and a card for my birthday, it was the best thing you could have ever done. I was bummed because you had to work the night my birthday. However you showing up with the simplest gift, was a sign that I married a wonderful guy.

I look forward to spending many a birthday with you. (including our future children's birthday's)

I love you so much!!!! Thanks for everything that you do to help me out, without you I wouldn't survive!


Confession #789

I hate you and your low life parents!

Please tell me what possess them to call to say they are coming into town once they have already planned in, packed the motor home, and are halfway through the four hour drive to where we live?

Would it have killed them to call while they were thinking about it to see what our plans were?

Why do you not see the issue with this?

Why do you think this is ok?

Why do they?

I would never, ever plan a trip to visit some one without discussing it with them prior.

But then again, they are trash and it shows!

Confession #790

I am so sick of you. Honestly so sick of you that I would not care if I ever saw you again. The only problem with that plan is I love your daughter. I wish you understand how much of an ass you are when you are having one of your temper trantums and scream at me, “Fuck you then…..I’ll do it all by myself.” And the at six the next morning your on the phone pannicking because she is sick and, “What are you supposed to do?”

Idiot!!!! Use your fucking Brain…..oh wait….you don’t have one!

True Wife Confession 78, or the total numer of gifts in the 12 days of Christmas

Confession #771

I was nothing but the perfect wife to you. I allowed you to go out whenever you wanted, turned a blind eye to you when you cheated repeatedly on me, blindly turned over my paycheck so you could have the things you wanted. When I agreed to allow a third person in our relationship was the day I truly screwed up. I let this person come into our lives and gave her a home. I gave her my life without a second thought because it would make you happy. Now she is gone and has made a complete shambles of OUR lives. I want nothing more that to take her stupid face and smash it in the sidewalk. I want to take her clothes that she has left in out house and burn them in the middle of the street. I want to take all her stupid cherished knick knacks and smash them into a million pieces. I want to throw away her stupid books cause i cant stand to look at them. Oh yea...even though I really did start to care for her, cause she was my friend.....I always hoped for the day she would leave. I always thought of ways to kick her out. I always wanted her to go. Go far far away. I realize that our relationship is as screwed up as the next persons....but not having her around, I feel a strange sense of calm.

Confession #772

When I begged you to deal with the problems we were having , pleaded with you to attend counseling with me and you refused, in that moment, I didn't recognize you as the man I fell in love with. I didn't even see you as a man. All I saw was this oblivious being who felt his pride was more important than our relationship.

When you went with me anyway, that repaired so much. Just the agreement to go. My heart slowly started coming back to life.

And, sweetheart, when you led the first session off with, "I can't believe that she's put up with it all", I broke down and cried. Because he came back. In that moment I knew the man I loved wasn't lost forever, just on a hiatus.

Welcome home, you.

Confession #773

We are not in college, and our house is not a frat house or a dorm room. For the love of all things good and holy, PICK UP YOUR SHIT. The way you leave a pair of shorts or socks lying in the same sad heap on our bedroom floor for days (until I either pick them up or tell you to pick them up). The way you toss dirty dishes into the sink (or just on the counter) without rinsing them off at least. The way you drop trash on the floor and LEAVE IT because you "just didn't notice." START NOTICING. How do you think we're going to teach our kids to pick up after themselves when you can't even seem to figure it out???

Confession #774

I can't stand you anymore. You used to be a great listener, but all you do anymore is wait for an opening so you can take over the conversation. I'm sick and tired of hearing how great you are. You are such a braggart. Can't you at least pretend to be interested to what I'm saying? Can't you ask a question on occasion rather than just jumping off onto something else where YOU are the star? You're the most self-centered person I've ever met in my life. Get over yourself already. No one wants to listen to your bragging. Maybe that's why you have no friends in this town. We're all sick to death of hearing about YOU.

Confession #775

I am so homesick that I could scream. I hate living in the city (and I know you are not fond of it either) and want to go back. I promised you that I would stick it out here for 5 years so that you could get more experience. That was 7 years ago and you have no plans to start looking for a job closer to home. I am trying to be supportive of your career goals, but it is getting harder for me to do so. I have dreams of my own and they do not include the rat race of a large city. If you do not start treating my wishes with the same consideration that I have to treat yours, I am going to go and pursue what I want on my own. You know this, and don't seem to care. You are just not the person that I married, that man would have never broken such an important promise to me. I am not sure what happened, but somewhere along the way you became more concerned with making lots of money than me. I liked our marriage so much better when we were poor. At least then we were happy, but now it is all about work and what you can buy that you could not before.


Confession #776

I realize you agreed to move the bed to the center of the room and out of the corner in exchange for never having to make said bed again. However, it would seem that since (a) you have much more time to screw off in the morning and (b) you're usually the last one out of that bed, it would make much more sense for you to make it. Come on, all you have to do is pull up the covers and put the f'ing pillows back. Is that such a big deal? I would think a man with a college degree would be able to pull it off...

Confession #777

I've begged you to go to counselling for so long...now you've agreed but
I think it's a waste of time - ironic eh?

I think I'm done with this and with you. It's time for me to take my son
away from your constant derision, judgement, and scorn.

How an intelligent strong women like me ended up relinquishing so much
control to an insecure bully for so long is beyond me.

I'll do the counselling because I fought for it for so long but I don't
think I can be bothered any more, life's too short.

Confession #778

We are expecting our first child and I know -- and understand -- that you are scared, yet you've become so caring, careful, and affectionate. Don't get me wrong, you were these things before, but now? You made dinner last night, and each time I tried to help, you told me to go sit back down. Then, you did the dishes, too, and rubbed oil on my growing parts to help prevent the stretch marks. You ask me as soon as we get home how I feel, how my day was, do I need to take a nap. You initiated making a grocery list while you were cooking dinner last night, including pulling out a cookbook and making a list. You move the furniture for me when I'm vacumming and you massaged me after I overdid it this weekend.

Thank you for becoming a more wonderful husband; I can hardly wait to see the father that you'll be!!

Confession #779

I am becoming more and more depressed about our marriage. You are wonderful husband and father but I need intimacy, sex, kissing! Its been over two months since we had sex. I can count on one hand how many times we have made love this year. It shouldnt be that way. I dont know why we dont. I feel maybe you arent attracted to me anymore. I miss being with you, kissing you and loving you. I dont know what to do to change things. It seems you just arent interested. At night sometimes I just want to kiss and lay together but we always end up watching tv. Then when I mention it you want to jump on me right then. I want some romance that we had before... laying together naked for just no reason.... kissing not just a peck but really kissing.... I dont know how to tell you this. I just feel sad.

Confession #780

Dear Husband,

Sometimes I'm so lonely that I can't breathe. I've told you what I need from you flat out, and it still doesn't happen. But I hang around, hoping things will change, because I love you. I feel like we're roommates who occasionally have sex. And sometimes I think that life is too short to spend it that way. But I keep hoping that the man I fell in love with will surface and that I'll be excited to be with you again. Contrary to what this letter implies, I do love you. I just miss you.

PSSST....

I recently got an email accusing me of writing the whole TWC. While I do write some of my own confessions ( and some of you have pickedthem out quite well), I really do cut and paste 99.9%...


I know you will all stay Anon, but could you just testify that these are your confessions????

Smooches,
Dawn