True Wife Confessions 77 Talking Heads

Confession #761

I truly forget how much I love you until I pick a fight with you and you sit down with me and have that earnest look on your face, and you talk to me until we are right again. You are one of the best people I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you. I love you more than anything, and I thought I should say that publicly.

Confession #762

I am not an angry wife, but rather a daughter speaking up for an angry wife/mother. My mother is the strongest person I know! She puts up with my dad’s shit, day after day. Everyone around us sees it, but they just don’t understand why we stay. Everyday he cuts her down emotional. We both know about all the times his cheated on her, yes that’s plural, but yet he still lives with us. She just doesn’t want to leave him alone. She doesn’t want to be the last person to see the good in him. She doesn’t want him to be left without love; she is just that amazing.

We deal with him when he is drunk and passed out on the couch, or when he has had too many shots and is breaking things and trying to beat up neighbors and family. Or when he is cussing us out because we forgot to turn the air conditioning on.

Alcohol is his weakness, and everyday he falls to the glass bottle. He has mentally and physically tried to break everyone around him down. His whole family is mad at him. He doesn’t have any true friends. All he has is my mom and I, and he knows that one day he won’t even have us. But I tell him what if that one day is today? And he just smiles and has then so be it; he won’t change for his family and he won’t change for himself…

She tells me one day we will leave, but the past few months have been so hard on her… and I just can’t stand watching him treat her like dirt anymore. One day we will leave, then, hopefully, he’ll realize what he lost and how many chances we gave him to go to rehab.

Written by a concerned 15 year old daughter


Confession #763

I know I'm hormonal and crabby. I know you don't like being around me when I'm like this. Hell, *I* don't like being around me when I'm like this! But, if you'd just put your arms around me, hold me at night, play with my hair or neck, kiss me without my having to beg, it'd go a long way to cheering me up. The more I have to coax for affection, the bitchier I am.

And after a fight, when I've apologized, please touch me. Or speak to me. Don't sit there, tense and silent, for an hour and then pretend nothing happened. I know I pissed you off. I know I yelled for little or no reason. I know I'm being unreasonable and tempermental. And I'm sorry for it. And I love you. Can we make up (or out) a little now?


Confession #764

To my Ex-Husband:

Oh, and one more thing. Before we were married, I cheated on you - with a woman. And she did things to me that you never would. Or could.

Confession #765

It tears me up inside to hear you get so down on yourself about your weight. I love you so much, and I married you for YOU, not for your waist size. I see how hard you work out every day, and it shows in the breadth of your shoulders and the definition in your biceps, which turns me on more than I can say.

I wish I could talk to you about your body issues, wish that you didn't shut down and start badmouthing yourself. I don't care about the extra pounds. I want you to be happy, and want you to stop thinking about your body flaws when we have sex. I've tried to do all I can to reassure you, and to SHOW you how much you turn me on. But sometimes I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. In the past few months I've been the only one to initiate sex, and I'm starting to feel like you don't desire me. I love you, baby, but I feel so lonely without your touch.

Confession #766

I love you very much. But you're lousy in bed. I'm glad we haven't had sex this year because at least I haven't had to wake up with you on top of me. It interrupts my sleep and gives me nothing, I mean nothing, back. Except the knowledge that I'm pleasing you, but you don't even come any more, so I'm not pleasing you that much.

I know you don't like the things I like in bed. I am really sorry that I am turned on by things that don't excite you in the slightest. At least I don't even get horny any more. It's a relief, actually.

I just wonder if I"m going to spend the next half century without sex. My life expectancy is something like 92, so ... wow. That's a long time without sex.

Good thing I'm not horny.

Confession #767

I am really , really tired of you doing what ever you want; whenever you want to do it!! When I have plans…. I need to inform you days in advance… Then I get to hear you bitch about it!!! All I get when you have plans is a phone call 5 min. before you leave!!! Also…. You're right you never take me anywhere!!! YES I said it!!! You selfish scab!!

Confession #768

Before I left you, I documented your extensive porn collection - all the videos, the computer games, the magazines, the books, and the internet photos. If you bring try to bring up the matter of an annulment again, I plan to bring my photo documentation to the hearing. You pride yourself on maintaining your upstanding, proper appearance before your family and friends - I'd just love to see what they think of the real you.

Confession #769

You are really great. You were supportive and encouraging when I was in school to get my RN. You held my hand and encouraged me when I was studying for boards. You reassured me while I was waiting for the results. You celebrated with me when I passed. You actively participated in our wedding planning, and I'll adore you forever for wearing tights just because I wanted a renaissance wedding. You looked awesome in them, too. You made all my dreams come true. When we went through the hell of infertility treatments you were always there, even though you were hurting too. When we finally did get pregnant, you were even better. We both made some decisions about the experience that we regretted, but we learned from them together. When our baby was born, you were there with me. We both got pushed around by the doctor and the hospital routines, and while I wish someone would have saved me, I know we didn't know enough then, but we do now. You were awesome, just awesome to take so much time off work to be home and help me while I was recovering. Yeah, you slept pretty soundly, but once you were awake, you always brought the baby to me. Every time I needed something you were there. Yeah, we didn't eat gourmet food that first month, but nobody starved or died of thirst. You may not have cleaned like I wished, but we always had clean clothes and clean diapers. You always supported me with breastfeeding, and never once did I hear "Oh, just give him formula!" like a lot of new dads say. Even when it was really, really hard, you and I were on the same side. You took me to my meetings and really supported me even when I know you didn't understand why it was so important. Best of all, every crackpot weird idea I had about parenting in the early days, you were willing to at least give it a shot and see how it worked out. When I had to go back to work, you took amazing, awesome care of our son. I was miserable, and I missed him so much, but never once did I have to worry about whether he was getting good care or not. You were more patient with him than I was, and I'll love you for that forever. When we realized that it wasn't working out for any of us, you were creative and found a way to let me stay home with him. I was amazingly grateful for that then. Now that we're having trouble again getting pregnant, I'm even more grateful, because this might be my only chance to be here for these baby years, and because of you, I get to do it. I know that neither of us expected the way our lives would change after we had a baby, and we both miss the way things used to be sometimes, but I never get any grief from you because of it. I know you'd like sex more, but you accomodate the changes that we've had to make with humor and grace. Thank you. Even though you do a few things that get on my very last nerve (yeah, I've got some other confessions on here, I admit it) I know that I'm the luckiest woman alive. I hope you read this one, and know it's for you.



Confession #770

Contrary to what you believed, I did NOT hate sex - I just hated having sex with YOU. You spent all your free time downloading porn, then expected me to behave like those vacuous, airbrushed women you spent so much time with. Well, guess what, you prick? Real women expect to be treated with some consideration, not as just a body for you to enact your fantasies on. You expected me to go down on you EVERY SINGLE TIME, but you didn't want to do the same to me. I tried to teach you how to pleasure me, but you had no interest in that. You are the most selfish lover I have ever had. I gave myself more orgasms in the shower than you ever did during our entire 11-year marriage.

Oh, and by the way...I am now with a man who is the polar opposite of you in bed. To him, foreplay is more than rolling over and tweaking my nipples, expecting that to get me in the mood. And unlike you, he makes sure I come every time.

True Wife Confessions 76 Trombones

Confession #751

I love you and I am proud of you for being my hero and going to dangerous far off places to serve our country. But today I happened upon a note from an old high school sweetheart and for a few minutes I honestly wished I had married him so that I wouldn't have to be alone for months on end with 3 insane children and nobody to hold me at night.

Confession #752

how do i say thank you to a man who has given me the world? You took in my 3 kids and treat them as they were your own. They told me the other day how lucky they were to have two Daddies. You treat our son no different than them. Your parents don't have to send them money for their birthdays but they still do. They and you have never called them Step children.
THANK YOU for that. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. YOU GAVE ME HOPE THAT TRUE LOVE DOES HAPPEN. THANK YOU FOR COMPLEMENTING ME TO YOU ALL YOUR FRIENDS. YOU are my one and only love. I'm sorry for not being the wife that has dinner not cooked when you get home. I'm sorry for not the house picked all the way up. I'm sorry I'm so scattered brained at times.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I will see you again soon after your tour in Iraq is done. I promise you this i will try harder to have dinner made when you get home. But you never complain when its not done. I will have the house clean. Even though you don't complain when its not done.
When I said our vows I promise it was all true. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM AND MORE.


Confession #753

there are no words for how stupid your behavior has become. tonight you drank yourself silly, danced around the house listening to records, for hours on end; the loud music was irritating, but your obnoxious singing was over the top.

then when dinner was ready, you ended up not eating--why, because you were sick to your stomach... why you lifted the lid to my washing machine I do not know, but when I said "not in there, get to the bathroom" and you told me you’d puke in the washer if you wanted to puke in the washer--that was too much even for you. if only I could video tape you when you act this way, you wouldn't recognise yourself, just like I don't see the warm, caring,loving, passionate, brillant man I married, but a drunk raving idiot that spends his nights masterbating and spend money we don't have.

as I am typing, this you run into the kitchen and puke in the sink...

I am sad, disgusted, heartbroken and tired of this situation. I should not have to put up with it--EVER, even you say that when you're not drunk. You need help and I don't know how to help you get it. I have tried talking to you about it; when sober you say you know there's a problem and that you don't want to drink, or act the way you do. You don't remember how you treat me or the hurtful things you say on a nightly basis.

I wish I knew what to do...


Confession #754

i hate you for what you are doing to our kids...they deserve a better dad than you. you have it in you to do better, you just won't cause you're too damn selfish. I'm glad I don't have to put up with your shit anymore but my heart breaks for my daughters who will have you as their father for the rest of their life. do us a favor, disappear for good.....and if i ever get the chance, i'm swirling your toothbrush in poo : )

Confession #755

Put your fucking dishes in the dishwasher. Do not leave them on the counter. Do not leave them in the sink. Do stop to rinse them off. Stop acting like you don't notice because if you didn't, you wouldn't get all pissy and self-righteous when I remind you for the 40th time to clean up after yourself. If we did have a fucking kitchen fairy, I'd make sure she peed in your coffee for the simple fact that you assume I want to clean up after you.

I love you. You are great about a lot of other things. Work on this one. And leaving your clothes all over the freaking house, work on that too.


Confession #756

Do you really think that I enjoy kissing you or having you love up on me while you have a giant nasty wad of chewing tobacco in your mouth? It makes me sick on my stomach to even think about it. Nice example to set for the kids, too, by the way. And I cannot even believe that you tell people you aren't addicted. Please.

Confession #757

You hurt me when your grandmother died and you and your family told me that I couldn't go to the funeral. I know you were in shock and didn't know what to say to me. But, to have your family tell me that it's "family only"?!? Two kids and ten years don't make me "family"?? That just sealed the deal for them.
I hope to have many "family only" events and not invite them. Like the baptism next month. Let's see how they feel about staying home that day.

Confession #758

I'm not really physically attracted to you.

But I am not stupid enough to think that I will ever meet anyone who makes me as happy, secure, loved, and at home as you do. After all these years together, we have our private jokes and ways we know each other that are only our own. You understand me like no one else does, and you make me like the person I am. You are so smart, funny, and caring, and I can't wait for you to be the father of our children. I feel exactly the same way today as I did the day you first kissed me: so lucky.

You put Brad Pitt to shame.

Confession #759

When I ask you to change some behavior or way you act, and you get all upset and wide-eyed and incredulously say 'But honey, I do everything to try to make you happy...' No, you don't. Cause if you did, you would very simply ask me, 'hey, name one thing that I could do on a regular basis to make your life easier and happier.' But assuming that you can read my mind and getting indignant because I'm not appreciative is just a pain.in.my.ass.

Confession #760

I confess that I hate your son. He's a greedy, arrogant, sullen little shit and you know it and let him get away with murder. And now, you're bringing him into our home and you expect me to be happy about this intrusion. You are also letting him totally wreck
our plans for a vacation, a vacation I've waited so damned patiently for. Fine, bring him here, and I'll take that vacation alone or maybe I'll invite a "friend" to go along. I'm sick
and tired of hearing you say I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, yet you treat me like shit. I won't leave you ... not yet anyway, but one day when you least expect it, you'll come home and I'll be gone, and you'll never have it this good again. Maybe that son of yours, the one you keep on the pedastal can keep you company and kiss your ass, cause I won't be here.

True Wife Confessions 75 Cadillac

Confession #741

Part of the reason our sex life is so infrequent is because I get really tense whenever you start asking me to do things to you. It's not that I don't want you to receive pleasure without the work, it's not that I don't like you and am not attracted you. I think you are the sexiest guy on the planet. But it almost always seems to end in a request for a blow job. And I feel terrible, but I can't do it. It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I hate it, I physically can't do it, and you don't seem to get that. I can play around for a bit, but after that, I physically can't. So any time we start getting busy, I'm afraid you are going to start pushing in that direction again, and I'd rather not go there again, because it makes me feel wretched and selfish, since you are always so considerate of what I like in bed.

Confession #742

Why do you have to be such a big dick on the phone to me when I call you at work (which has been about 4 times in 3 years). You act like WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT and make me feel like shit for calling. Thank God I’ve never had to call you and tell you that someone died or I was in a car accident although part of me would love to give you the smack down if something big ever happened and you cut me off on the phone.

Other people talk to their spouses at work…..and get this..some of them do it daily! My ex-husband was happy to hear from me at work on a daily basis. What the fuck is your problem? When I’ve pointed it out to you (nicely) you think I’m making it up about people talking to their spouse at work. Get a grip.


Confession #743

This is a confession from one wife to another.

Remember when we joined you and your husband at the lake and you asked if I brought my swimsuit and I said yes? Remember what you said then? "Good! Maybe my husband will understand my body's not so bad after seeing yours!" How could you not realize how hurtful and insensitive that comment was? Especially knowing how I struggle with my weight?

And then later when you said you hoped that people at the lake (total strangers) would realize you were pregnant and not just fat. "That's why I hate being pregnant! People think you're fat and not just pregnant." Not only did that make you sound like the idiot that you are, but it was also another memorable and insensitive comment. You KNOW how we are going through another round of IVF and would give anything to be "fat" from a pregnancy.

I also hate how after I told you of yet another negative pregnancy result that you constantly rubbed your belly and sighed and complained about how uncomfortable you were and how you just cannot stand getting pregnant all the time. Have you heard of birth control? OH, right. Your husband thinks married people shouldn't use birth control. Maybe learning how to track your cycles and avoid having sex when you're about to ovulate? It's fairly easy to do for people who actually have a brain. Have you also heard of being aware of the feelings of the people around you?? Especially your friends???

This is why I don't want to be around you any longer. This is why I turn down your social invitations. This is why when I see you at parties, I stay the hell away from you. I'd tell this to your face, but you'd find a way to turn it around and make me look like the fool. I don't need that. Some people will never get it and just aren't worth the time or effort. I'm glad I learned that before I invested more time and more feelings into this doomed friendship. Have a nice life raising your 12 billion children on such a limited income. Maybe that's why you're so bitter. You'd have more money to pay bills if you stopped spitting out kids every year. And YES, you are fat, TOO!! There's a lot worse things in life than being fat. Like being a clueless, insensitive bitch. I'm so glad that with this confession, you are finally out of my life forever!

Confession #744

Faithfulness is not my strong suit. I believe in being faithful on principle. In practice I suck at it, I hope you never find out

Confession #745

You adore your father because he supposedly raised you well but you lack a heart. He does not listen to your good suggestions about how to take care of himself. And that reminds me of every man in my life, including YOU. He does not sleep enough to get through the day let alone drive! You do not get enough sleep for work. When he criticizes our relationship it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. He says we look miserable? So do he and his wife. Back when we were ridiculously happy he thought it was be funny to pretend we weren't. W.T.F. He purposely caused trouble and it broke my fucking heart. Especially because you did not reassure me about ANY OF IT. And I see a little more of him in you today. You. Are. A. Stubborn. Ass.

Confession #746

You are an amazing lover: you’re so attentive to my pleasure, you take pleasure in what I do, and you never fail to make me feel sexy. You’re fine with my adventurous past. You suggest adventures for us to take together, but you never pressure me to do something if I’m uncomfortable with it. You’re willing to try new things that I suggest.

I have only one secret from you: Sometimes when we make love I fantasize about fat gay guys. I don’t know why. There’s just something great about two guys eating enormous amounts of food together and getting it on.

I don’t even know why I haven’t told you. You’ve been fine with all my other kinks. I’ve told you my fantasies about vampires and bondage and other women and the woman who helped paint our house. I’ve told you I want to put eyeliner on you or dress you in a gladiator’s armour. Why would it bother you to know your wife sometimes imagines guys eating a lot of pizza and making out?

It wouldn’t bother me at all if you gained weight, either. I did tell you that, but it probably sounded as if I was just being a good wife and telling you I loved you for your inner self. Which is also entirely true. But honey, I look at your big-bellied family and I think it will probably happen to you eventually too, and I’m actually kind of glad.

Confession #747

I have the opportunity to cheat on you but I am scared that I will not know how I feel when it is all said and done. I really like this person. He is an ex boyfriend from High School that loved me so much and I walked all over him...how he can be so forgiving to me is really amazing when you can't forgive me for the simplest things. He knows about you and our family and the thought of being with me over powers his feeling of guilt. I talk to him on the phone every day and I even e-mail him while you are sitting on the sofa playing XBOX. He makes me feel alive and he makes me feel like I am beautiful and worth something in this world. I am going to see him Saturday night after I go out with the girls and after I have a few drinks in me...I don't know what is going to happen. All I know is that we will be even...but I will never tell you and you will never find out.

I need to do this so I can know for sure that you are the man that I am meant to be with and if I can forgive you for cheating on me so dirty six months ago.

I think that you know that I am going to do this and you know that you can not say anything to me about it. Especially since I told you that one day I will and you said that you would not cry for me...cause those days are over for you. You F'N JERK!

If you ever find out....I will just have to see if you cry!

I want you so bad to stop me from doing this. I really do...I know that you never will. And it would be the simplest thing to do. All you would have to do is show me some affection on a daily basis and make love to me with out me having to ask you for it. That is all it would take...but you are too lazy and too involved in XBOX and fantasy football to realize that after Saturday night...I might be gone forever and you would have noone to blame but yourself.

Confession #748

Honey, I'm pregnant. I know it's not in the current plan. I know we don't have the money. I know it's not what we wanted right now. I haven't told you yet because I know you are going to freak out. I am freaking out right now.

I didn't try to "oops" get pregnant either. Just so you know. I have been taking my pills EVERY day. At the same time. Without fail. And since we only had sex three times in the past month, I can't even imagine how the odds didn't work in our favor.

I'm sorry. I know this is not what we wanted right now. Please just don't have a fit when I tell you. I'm as scared about this as you are.

Confession #749

I am totally in love with you, I haven't told you yet, because I dont want to jinx it. Even though we have been toghether for 7 months... You are seriously the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. I think that some day I will be married to you... I am so glad my ex cheated on me, and left me for his dumb bimbo. I would have never met you if he didn't hurt me and the boys that way and I am pretty sure we would have had a miserable life that way. But I am so thankful that he did. You would do anything for us, anything, and it means the world to me and the kids. It really is nice to know that there are really guys out there that would love to be a father to somone else's children like they were your own.

Confession #750

I think that you are who you are because your mom is such a strong woman. Because you love her you admire my strengths and love me.

I am so glad that you are in this for the long haul,you work through the stupid fights, the petty differences, I love that you have never walked out.

Marriage is so much harder than I thought it would be, sometimes I am not sure if I want to do it, but you are the reason I keep coming back.

Parenthood is so much harder than we thought it would be, I am glad you help me do the best I can.

You know how to please me, and maybe I taught you much of it, but it is sweet that you remember, it makes me want to please you .


I wish I could tell how I feel about you, but it always sounds corny when I try to put it in words

True Wife Confessions 74 Gun Man o'war ala Billy Budd (my English Major Geek roots are showing)

Confession #731


Tonight you decided to dick out on me because I complained about going two
miles out of my way on my way home from work to get you a burrito from a
specific restaurant. No asking whether I felt like having a burrito for
dinner also; not even any consideration of my counter suggestion of my
picking you up a nearly identical burrito from a different restaurant that
was more on my way. Oh no, it had to be that burrito from that restaurant.
You didn’t even consider the fact that I have homework to do as well
tonight!

When I let out the mildest of quips about it being out of my way, you threw
one of your 14 year-old temper tantrums and told me to "just forget about
it"; the more I offered to go get the fucking burrito anyway, the more of a
bastard you became. I’m considering buying one on the way home anyway, if
no other reason than to tell you to stick it up your self-righteous ass. Or
maybe smash it into one of those Statistics books that I am obviously not
enlightened enough to understand...anything to take the edge off of the
bullshit silent treatment punishment that awaits my arrival.

Confession #732

I know you didn't brush your teeth yesterday. Or the day before. Because after we got back from the trip, you left your toothbrush in my bag. And mine wasn't used before I got up. However, since this is the first time you've ever done anything like that, I won't say anything, cause I know it'll embarrass you.

Confession #733

I hate your mother! She is a low life!



When “B” was only seven years old and she called you mom to wish her a Happy Birthday on the way to school and was singing silly songs to her. When she accidentally used the word “Whore” instead of “Hog” and your mother screamed at me about it. Well let me tell you I was probably in more shock then your “precious mother” about the situation. I can guarantee that “B” never heard the word “whore” from me. Maybe your mother should have thought about how she was talking in front of “B” everything she yelled at your father for cheating on her with the Whores!

But more then that maybe you should have thought about the language your parents used in front of her when you were letting them raise her for so long before I came into the picture.

Idiot!

Confession #734

I wish you would step up every now and then and be 'the man'. I know, it's ridiculous. I'm a strong, independent, capable woman who doesn't believe in predefined gender roles. But I get tired of being the adult all the time. Pay some bills without me nagging you! I don't want to call and yell at the cable company for not showing up on time -- I want you to do that. I don't want to learn how to fix the shower, you should do that! I don't want to be the person responsible for car maintenance, you are the man! I don't want to be the one with the greater earning potential. It's totally ludicrous, because the car is mine, most of the bills are in my name and I've been paying them myself for ages longer than you, you are generally a pretty good handy man, and I have higher degrees (and thus more earning potential) than you do. But there are days I have to bite my tongue from saying, "YOU are the man, you take care of this."

I guess the flip side is that I need to be more grateful for all the work you do around the house and what a great cook you've become, and how willing you are to paint my toenails for me without caring if your friends know that you do that. Also, a more traditional man would probably be upset about me keeping my name, about my love of our basketball team and my loathing of doing laundry, and would probably not be anywhere near as loving, attentive and wonderful as you.

Confession #735

Thank you for taking care of our sick child on my first day of school. Thank you for doing the vomit laundry. Thank you for picking me up from school. Thank you for having dinner ready, and the sheets on the bed changed. They were even flannel, and you know how I love flannel sheets in the fall. Thank you for telling me to not worry about the tuition bill. Thank you for standing behind me, supporting me, and feeding me when I get home. Those are the reasons I stay married to you.

Confession #736

I have never been so angry as I was when you told me you thought we should not have bought the house. I was upset, miserable, unhappy, and I know you were too, but you were the one who pushed me when I wasn't sure. You convinced me, and for you to say it was a bad idea pissed me the hell off. Too late for objections now, buddy. Just learn plumbing find a way to fix the damn shower.

Confession #737

My confession: When I cracked the joke about masturbating, and you looked so surprised and exclaimed that I never masturbate? Yeah, I do. Almost everyday. I love you, you are masterful in bed, our sex is amazing (though we are both unhappy with frequency, and working on it), but honey, sometimes I can just get it done faster. And then I don't have reciprocate.

Confession #738

I'm sorry you became sick. More sorry than you will ever know. I'm also
sorry it has damaged your memory and your moods, your physical abilities
and your ability to speak clearly. Really, I am. However, it does not
give you the right to become angry with me and yell at me when I suggest
things to help you. Like suggesting you try to remember to clean yourself
correctly and put deoderant on. You did NOT remember to put it on, do not
tell me you did. It was EXACTLY as I left it so you wouldn't forget it.
And for god's sake use a washcloth to clean your underarms.... you've used
your hands since the day I met you. IT DOES NOT GET YOU CLEAN. You
stink... all I am doing is trying to help you not feel "different" when you
are out. I am sick of the yelling, the drama and the self pity that
accompanies each and ever day..... I am trying to be a good caregiver and
wife and mother, but you are making it more and more difficult. I will
only tolerate it for so long. I'm sorry you don't think your life can be
normal anymore..... but I'm even sorrier you won't at least try. If you
won't try for you or me, how about trying for our son? You are such a dick
sometimes.

Confession #739

You think your porn videos got lost in the move or are still in a box in the
garage. I threw them in the dumpster. I'm scared to tell you I did it.

Confession #740

To my husband, the all-important scholar: Oh, how I loathe your attitude
when you’re in school.

When the semester starts, your asshole factor increases by tenfold. You
become even more self-absorbed and self-righteous than you already are, and
at least five times more of a grandstanding fuckhead than before you went
back to college -- back when you used to bore me to tears with your endless
lectures on indie rock and left wing politics (which at least are subjects
which interest me, or did before you hammered me into the wall with your
diatribes).

You will pontificate ad nauseum on any subject which interests you, and God
help the individual who tries to make any kind of counterpoint when you’re
on one of your rolls. You’ll speak over them in increasing volume until the
"audience member" relegates himself or herself back down to the orchestra
pit where they belong; there’s no room for dialogue in your one-man show.
Too bad not everyone is in love with your half-assed mental masturbation as
much as you are.

Your imperious attitude toward your studies makes me choke on
bile...everything, and I mean EVERYTHING takes a back seat to your
all-important homework. "Silly wife, pester me not with chores and requests
for any attention or assistance...can’t you see that I’M STUDYING?!" Um,
yeah I can asswipe, because that’s exactly what I need to do too – yes, it’s
true; you’re not the only person in the world trying to put themselves
through school and work at the same time! I’m taking just as many classes
as you are, and even if you work ten hours per week more than I do it
doesn’t give you the right to act like a pompous prick.

Oh, and neither does the fact that you’re studying BUSINESS make you any
more intelligent or worthy of credit than my lowly fine-art studying self,
although you rarely take make the effort to conceal your disdain for what I
do. "All that stuff is just BULLSHIT anyway, I hardly see the point in
making it an academic discipline." The fact that this is coming from you --
who spent his 20’s trying (and failing) to "make it" as an indie rock
musician -- speaks volumes to anyone who isn’t as monumentally clueless as
you are. You sound like a newly converted whore.


Your mother could have done a lot better than to treat you and your
stuffed-shirt sanctimonious brothers like little princes when you were kids.
And you wonder why I’ve changed my mind about procreating.

And now, a word from our sponsor...

Hi all.

Just a few "housekeeping" notes from the Mother Un-Superior (that's me).

After much consideration, I put TWC forward for inclusion on the BlogHer Ad network. I was hesitant for awhile to run ads on the site...but many of my Bloggy friends talked with me at BlogHer and convinced me that it would be a good thing. So I did. And it was accepted. Within the next week or so, the ads will appear in the top right hand column. The beauty of BlogHer (aside from the fact that I think Lisa Stone may be a goddess) is that you don't have to click through for me to get credit. I get every hit counted.

So, if you hate ads, and are wholly offended, then I sincerely apologize in advance. But - and here is the crux of it - I need money. I am in Canada and am not allowed to work as I am on a student visa. So think of it this way - all of you who visit? You'll be keeping me in coffee for the month. Or a martini. Every time you visit, it is like putting a nickel into Dawn's coffee or liqour tin. And god knows, we don't want me to run low on either of those things...or anti-depressants.

Also, the publishing schedule may change a smidge. I am in classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. The Monday - not so bad - 5:30 to 8:30. But Wednesday? 9-12 and then again 5:30-8:30. I have to be on the 7:45 train into Montreal to make the class. Sooooo Wednesday might be delayed...or nonexistant.

I have the 79th chapter almost done right now. I was doing one a day when the confessions were coming in so fast I could barely keep up with them. They've slowed a bit now, so depending on the flow, they might only get published every other day or so. We'll see. Keep 'em coming.

Now I must go read two chapters on Research Methodlogy and a chapter of Curriculum ideology. Contain your excitement, I'll sure try to contain mine....

True Wife Confession 73 Fender Rhodes

Confession #721

Thank you so much for being so supportive when I ran out of the bathroom hysterical because we're pregnant again.

Thank you so much for being an amazing father to our son.

Thank you so much for being such an amazing husband to me.

Thank you for supporting me and our family through all the good and the bad.

But most of all thank you so much for helping me go from terrified to excited in such a small amount of time. We never intended to have a 2nd baby and without your support I have no doubt I'd be a puddle of horror. Now, instead, I can plan for this fabulous new addition. I can't imagine anything better than having yet another baby with you. I am so thankful for you.

Confession #722

It's not cute when you ask me for "just a little bite" of something I'm eating and then take a bite equal to the whole damn thing. Nor is it cute when we get fast food and you decline fries and then proceed to eat half of mine. GET YOUR OWN, DAMMIT.

I love you, baby. But I love my food, too.

Confession #723

people tell me that they couldn't have stayed. i did. but it's not fair that i stayed, just wanting to leave. i wish that i had been stronger. i wish that i had stayed and loved you still.

our new puppy taught me how to love again. i'm thankful that she did. i missed loving you. and i missed out on so much when i could have been loving you better. i hope that one day i can forgive myself for that - i think that you already have.

Confession #724

If you're going to work outside bring yourself a drink. Don't bug me 10 minutes into whatever it is you're doing asking me for something to drink. If you're working outside then I'm watching our 2 kids and I have my hands full already. I bugs me to no end that you wait until your dusty and dirty to decide you're thirsty. It also bugs me that I'm supposed to act like you're doing me a favour asking ME to get you a drink instead of you walking into the house all dirty and dusty to get it yourself. Think ahead next time will ya!!!

Confession #725

We are divorced now, but I want to confess something....
Remember that time we were "on a break" while you went back to your 1st wife? When we got back together 6 weeks later, I told you I had sex with only 1 other man. Really it was 5 guys, and 1 girl. I didn't want to tell you because it was just something else you could falsley hold over my head. Now, 2 kids & divorced, I have found my true love -- and he knows ALL my secrets.


Confession #726

When you call me to ask me what I want you to bring home for dinner, and then offer to also stop at the store for formula because you know I have a migraine and am suffering? I love you more than I can say.

When you get up at 4 AM to change our almost 10 year old's diaper, without complaint, and then go work a hard job for 12 hours? I love you more than I can say.

When you call me in the middle of the day just to tell me that you're thinking about me, and that you love me ~ my heart melts.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but I'm so thankful that you chose me.

I am the luckiest of all lucky girls in the world. I love you, babe. More than I can say. Let's grow old(er) together, okay?

Confession #727

When I tell you I am stressed out to the point of tears, that is NOT the time to delve in to every little detail about our lives. I do not need to be reminded that money is tight and the kids don't pick up after themselves or even that the hot water tank is on its last leg! What I need is for you to put your arms around me and tell me that everything will be okay...everything will work out fine. Comfort me, hug me, love me. Don't try to fix the problem! It just makes me more tense, and we usually end up arguing. If you would figure this out, life would be a whole lot easier at times.



Confession #728

you. are. a. dork. Sorry, but its true

Confession #729

You prick! I'm good enough to clean you house, do your laundry, take care of your kids (incl the one who hates me and causes me such stress) but I'm not worthy of you giving me money UNLESS I BEG FOR IT ... even when your own mother tells you you need to loosen up the wallet. Well mister tight with a dollar, maybe the next time you want a fucking blow job I should tell you what it's gonna cost you: $50 a bj ought to be reasonable considering all I do for you with it. You refuse to let me get a job so you keep me prisoner in this guilded cage I've come to hate. Fuck you. I'll get what I need and want one way or another. Just watch me.

Confession #730

I'm going to start by saying you are an amazing man. I love you more then life itself & I know you are also an amazing father. When you interact with our child its beautiful.

The problem lies in the fact that you just don't seem to get that parenting is not on an "Ok, today works for me" basis. I work 40+ hours a week & so do you. On my days off I watch our child & do everything else, that needs to get done as well. The baby is with the babysitter for 40 hours a week while we work. I for one have had many guilt battles in my head because I can't stop working. I need the medical insurance, but I hate leaving her with someone else for so many hours. This means when you get done work before me, you go get her & you parent her. NO, you don't *babysit* her, that's what you do to someone else's kids.

I don't want to find out that you dropped her off to go fishing, & I don't want you mad at me when I say I don't need to bring her to the sitters because you had the day off. Yes, just like when I have a day off theres no question she's staying home with *Me*.

Yes, I know your truck is broken & needs to be fixed. You had a 4 day weekend, but now tonight after work when she's been with the sitter for 8+ hours you decide you need to fix it. I don't think so. You can walk off in a huff & be angry at me if you want, but take your days off to the productive things. Its not like you didn't have *4* of them!

Furthermore, for those few times that I would have someone watch her while I wasn't working, I'd really like them to be when we can spend some time together. Really, you can go out & do your own things on my day's off & I know that you will let me go get my sanity back at times as well. I knew my father as the guy that came home at 9pm for dinner. I didn't even have a personal relasionship with him until I was 18 or older & I still wouldn't if I didn't put in the effort to do so. I don't want our child to lack what I did. I want her to run you exclaiming "Daddy, Daddy...Guess what I did today?!"

True Wife Confessions 72 - the average # of heartbeats in a resting adult

Confession #711

I have not liked you for some time now, and I have never loved you. But I never thought I would hate you.

Last month when my grandfather died (you know that old man that practically raised me?) you were such an insensitive jerk that I wanted to hurt you as much as you were hurting me. When I found out that he died, all you said was "that's too bad" and went back to your video game. When I was on the phone trying to get a plane ticket home, you asked me where dinner was. When I asked if you would go with me you said "I have no reason to, besides I could not go on my trip to Australia next week if I went with you". When I got there, you called the day of the funeral because the air conditioning had gone out and you wanted me to get it fixed (from 1100 miles away). All I wanted to do was break down and cry, but I couldn't because there was too much to do with the trip back and planning the funeral. And the person that should have been giving me support was not there and was adding to my burdens. Do you know where I got the support that I needed? Not from you, I got it from my friend (you know that guy that you don't want me talking to because you think that I am having an affair with him?). He took the day off of work to go to the funeral with me so that I did not have to be alone. Well, FYI, I am not and never have been "in love" with him but you bet your sorry ass that I love him. Which is something that you have never been able to tell the difference between. See, love can be completely platonic, it does not have to involve sex. Sometimes the people who actually love and support you most are not you lovers. I wish he and I could love each other that way, but we can't and perhaps it is for the best.

Maybe if you understood what love really is, you would not be such a jerk and I would not want to poison your potatoes when I make dinner every night.


Confession #712

Remember when you told me that I was worthless, and no man would ever want me because I had a child? I smile every time our daughter calls my husband “daddy”, the man who’s been raising her for the past ten years, and she then calls YOU by your first name. Your DNA didn’t give her love, put food on the table, or clothes on her back. HE did. Remember when you said I was fat and ugly, even when I was so thin (from trying to please you) that my family became worried about my health? Isn’t it a wonder that I still have a healthy shape and receive compliments about my looks from men, while YOU married the fat whore you cheated on me with? Too bad she’s added at least 80 pounds more to her already huge frame since you two sloths wed. Remember when you told me I was stupid and would never accomplish anything? I delight in the fact that I am now a successful college graduate who makes three times as much money as you do, while you attempt to conceal the fact that you’re a high school dropout living with your in-laws because you can’t even keep a steady job. You tried to break my spirit so I’d stay chained to you for life, but all you did was point me straight to the wonderful man who really deserves me. I hope you kick yourself every day for treating me like shit and losing the best thing you ever had. It sucks to see me and your daughter happy, doesn’t it? Loser.

Confession #713

To my husband:

I know you don't love me like I love you. It's not your fault, you're older than me and you already had your one true love and for whatever reason, you let her go. I know you settled with me because I was there at the right time and now you're regretting it (even if you don't realise it yet).

I'm quite happy to wait until you grow to love me. I just wish you would hurry. I need a husband, not a housemate.

Your loving wife.

Confession #714

I love you so much, but sometimes you don't realize just how much your silence hurts me. I went on a four day trip that you fully supported. However, when I tried to check in with you by calling your cel phone, you were always too busy to talk to me. You always said you would "call me later." You never seemed to find time to get back to me. I know we have three kids that you were in charge of in my absence, but two of them are teenagers. I think they would have had plenty of time to help out if you simply would have asked them. Whatever it was that you were too busy doing...it certainly wasn't cleaning the house. The house looks like a cyclone hit it.

Now that I'm back home, it seems like you missed me. But at the time, while I was away, it was almost like I was "out of sight and out of mind." I hope if I ever travel apart from the family again, you can at least find a few minutes to chat with me while I'm away. That really hurt my feelings.



Confession #715

It's time for you to be a fucking man and support your family. I've been doing it for the past ten years, so I am well aware of the pressure and stress. Now that I am not working, you mope and sulk around the house sighing at everything. When I tell you how much things really cost, you flip out and say "You NEVER told me! You always just took care of it!"

Well. No, shit. I know. Welcome to the big boy world.

Confession #716

I don't love you....never have and never will. I tolerate you. I will divorce you.

Confession #717

Please stop telling me how paranoid I am when it comes to our children. I am their mother and stepmother and I will always try to protect them. Just because you don't think something is dirty and it's ok for our 7 month old to put it in her mouth, does not mean that is true. Where do you think her 2 stomach viruses have come from, virus faries???? I do not need you to tell me I am paranoid. I realize that enough on my own, but, you know what, I am a mother and that is just part of the bargain. Tell me I'm doing things right and that our children will grow up to be wonderful, productive and happy people. Stop pointing out the things you think I am doing wrong. Please.

Confession #718

I think it's weird that you don't like porn. I also think it's weird that you don't like blow jobs. What man doesn't like BJ's?
It's not me either. Because I'm good. I know. My ex told me so every time.
You're weird.

Confession #719

Shit. it's like I'am not here you are a asshole. Fuck you I got LAY-OFF
\but so what you are my HUSBAND. I COOK CLEAN take care of 3 kid
(give it to you lke you want it). your nice to the world but not to your WIFE. What"s that about how can you help someone else and not me ok I smoke and you don"t I need gas for the car and you say O I dont have any cash that"s bullshit right now in I"am school I help with everything in this house all bill I do. I see life with but all I can tell the children is
I tried to work it out with your dad. Fool I'am not one of your kids
you do not have to give me shit because when I get a JOB you will wish you had give me money how can you have money problems
and you broke you work 12 HOURS a day I love but hate you

Confession #720

I am jealous of my friend who is divorced. I wish I had the nerve to move out on my own with our daughter. I don't hate you but I don't love you either. I probably never did, I was just too young, stupid and desperate to realize it. The sad part is that a lot of women would be happy being married to you, but I'm not.

True Wife Confessions 71 minutes of Faust

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True Wife Confessions 70 - Platinum, Baby.

Confession #691

The way you yell and scream at other drivers when you are driving? I hate it. I've told you how much I hate it. That I hate the swearing and aggression. I feel it slide over into me as I sit in the passenger seat. I hate that you have followed people to scream at them when they have done something you feel to be stupid or insulting. Today when you gave that woman the finger and slowed down to mouth "Fuck you" to her TWICE, and I called you on it and you turned on me and told me to "shut the Fuck up, before you smacked me"...and then repeated it at the top of your lungs? With our daughter in the car?

Your anger issues will either give you a stroke, or get you killed. I only hope that the stroke kills you outright because I don't think I have the energy or desire to nurse you for the rest of your life.

Oh, and I'm not driving with you anymore. If you can't control your anger, at least I can decide to not be in the car with you.

Confession #692

Bitching to me about how now that I've gone back to work, you have no time to relax...While I have dinner cooking on the stove, laundry in the washer and dryer, while our child is clawing at my legs, and I am still in my dressy work clothes-while you sit on your fat ass in the recliner with the remote...Dumb move, asshole. You're doing jack shit around here...I'm back to working 40-50 hours a week AND doing all the household chores. Shut up and fold the fucking socks...you can even do it while you sit on your fat ass...I don't care. JUST DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN TAKE UP SPACE.

Confession #693

You have been on a business trip all week. During that time, our son behaved like a horrible little monster. I am burnt out and need a break. You haven't seen our son all week but you couldn't be bothered to spend time with him because you had a movie you wanted to watch. When I ask you to spend time with our son it doesn't mean, "Que a movie up for him in one room so that you can go watch a movie in another." And it really, REALLY pisses me off that you insist on watching violent movies when he's around. IF he wonders into the room and sees even two seconds of it, he gets nightmares from them. And its not YOU he wants at 4 a.m. when he's scared shitless, its me. I pay the price for your selfishness. I feel like I live with a 15-year-old BOY. And it really angers me. If you keep pissing on the fire, so to speak, don't be surprised if when it goes out.

Confession #694

After we have had a fight, you become the most attentive father on the face of the earth. Too bad you have to be such a miserable asshole to step up and act like your daughter is not a giant burden on your time and energy. No one cares how fucking sick and or tired you are. Oh, and don't act like you've done me some HUGE favor when you spend time with her outside, or take her for a bike ride. What the fuck do you think I do every day of the week?

Confession #695

I truly regret that I was such a bitch to my college sweetheart. Because he was a wonderful, caring man. I was so possessive and had such low self-esteem that I got jealous at the drop of a hat. And he paid the price. And I was also too stupid to know what a gem he truly was. Now he's married with children. I don't mind when you make up some stupid excuse not to come with me to visit my parents. Because when you don't come with, I drive past his house at night hoping that maybe I'll see his face through a window or tinkering around in his garage. I've been doing this for 6 years. Recently, I got a glimpse of him. As the garage door was closing, he was taking milk out of his truck and heading into his house. He has no idea I drive by.

I hear his wife is a total shrew. I hear he's not happy. It breaks my heart because after the hell I put him through, he DESERVES to be happy. But I still hold out hope that maybe someday he and I will wind up together. And I fantasize that you and his wife (since you are both cold, vindictive people who withhold affection and sex to punish) wind up together too. Sounds like you'd be perfect for each other.

Confession #696

Don't be passive aggressive...offering me the remote and then bitching about what I choose to watch-SHUT UP. If you know you'll hate whatever I put on, then don't offer up the remote...I knew what your motive was-you thought you'd be 'nice' so I'd have sex with you later. Didn't work, did it?

Confession #697

You bitch about how we're broke but yet you spend money on stupid shit. Meanwhile, I'm scraping coins out from under the seats of my car so I can buy a can of soda at work. This week, other than gas money, I've spent a total of $5...you've gone through at least $200 on CRAP. STOP. PAY THE BILLS. GROW THE FUCK UP.

Confession #698

When I was planning our wedding, you told me I had to "stop being such a bitch" or else you'd dump me. I found out later I was clinically depressed. I kept wondering if I should break things off with you. I no longer felt love for you. I felt numb. And the first thing my councilor said was, "Don't make any major decisions now. If you are thinking of canceling your wedding or changing careers, don't do it. You'll thank me later." What's sad is that I trusted that man's judgment over mine. A man who didn't know me or you. And I really regret it sometimes.

Confession #699

I love how when you get mad, you think that depriving me of your affection will make me feel remorseful. I could care less. None of our fights last more than a few days because YOU can't handle going that long without sex. You won't apologize, but you'll start being sweet and helping around the house-and this I know is your way of getting back into my good graces so you can have a piece of ass. You think you're playing it smooth, but I've got your number. This is why I rarely have to apologize-because I know eventually you'll get tired of masturbating in the shower and you'll stop being a dick so you can get off.

When you don't get sex, you're an asshole. Which makes me want to give it to you even less. Vicious cycle.

Confession #700

If I wouldn't have had such poor self-esteem, (thanks to parents who convinced me I was fat, lazy, ugly, stupid and would probably never get married because I was such a bitch.) I wouldn't have put up with all of your shit and married you. Or at least I would have divorced you a long time ago. I stay because you make good money -- we can afford to live in a good school district. and set aside money for our child's college. Also, this way, I can stay at home/volunteer at our son's school. I could never make even half the money you do. But the biggest reason I stay is because you're such a selfish ass and poor father. Once you babysat our son for 6 hours and "forgot" to feed him! If we divorced, our son would spend most of his time alone and in front of a tv eating stale, dry cereal, IF you remembered to feed him. There's also been countless times he's gone wondering around outside and you didn't even notice because you were too busy watching tv. I don't even WANT to think about what would happen to him if you had to take care of him for an entire weekend. Plus, I would be worried sick about what sort of white trash skank would be around my son. You're so "hands off" with our son, I don't even think of him as yours, but mine. And mine only.

True Wife Confessions 69 soixante-neuf or the number Bill and Ted use to test their future selves...Dude.

Confession #681

When you go away on business trips, and you call and leave a message on
my cell phone, I don't delete it. I save them in my voicemail until
they're automatically deleted. I'm afraid that if something happens to
you, they will be the only way I can hear your voice again.

Confession #682

I'm so afraid to tell you that I think I'm pregnant again.
You are a wonderful father to our child, but you have told me you didn't want any more children...
We both agreed I would get off birth control for a while, give my body a break...
I'm afraid of even taking the test because then it would be real.
I hope I can gather the balls to tell you this soon...

Confession #683

I love that you said "so when are we gonna get married" on the back of a Chrysler at the Laundry Mat 11 years ago.(what a redneck)

I love that you let me get sh*t faced drunk and babysit me when I need to just release.( and laugh at me)

I love that you listen to me complain about work constantly.(without bitchin)

I love that you complain about your work to me on a daily basis.( I do care)

I love that when we lost everything to hurricane Isabel you never cracked, you assured me and the girls that we would be ok. (We are even better now.)

I love our sex, you absolutely make me feel so good I think Im addicted to making love to you. (damn baby)

I love that we lay some nights in bed giggling about your farts like schoolchildren.(for hours)

I love that you put me on a pedestal and make me feel like a queen.(I don't think I deserve it)

I love that we are honest and open with each other. We are best friends in every sense.(even when honesty hurts)

I don’t have enough room to list all the reasons I love you……

BUT, I'm scared. The Navy has called me to active duty for 18 months and I'm afraid I will not be able to function to the best of my ability away from you and the girls for that long. I'm afraid you’ll start to hate me for leaving you. You are so strong and act like you can handle this. I know you can. I just wonder if I can.

I love you more than life itself and I think this will be just another hurdle we can overcome. I love you my dear and I will serve my country and honor my promise to serve if called up. Please don’t worry, I will be ok, I will come home and we will kick the kids out when theyre grown and fill the house with dogs and cats. Just take care of yourself in addition to the house and kids. I need to have something to come home to.

Confession #684

Our age difference is becoming an issue. Your sex drive has diasappeared while mine is rising to it's peak. I know that you find me attractive and when you want to have sex, it can be amazing. But... It isn't often enough for me. I want more. And you don't.

It sounds crazy but I've been thinking of finding a man to just have sex with me. I don't want to love anyone else, but I need more physical love than you want or are able to give. I don't need another husband, I just need another penis.

Confession #685

Sweetheart, I love you very much and I appreciate all you to at work to provide for us. However, I wish you understood exactly how high of a toll my unemployment is taking on me, my sanity, and really my will to live. I wake up each day to check my email, send out 20-30 resumes, applications, etc. And that is IT thats all I have. No one counts on me, no one cares where I am, no one cares what I do get done or not. I sit in our home day in and day out doing the same thing, often not speaking aloud once during the day. When you return home I KNOW you are tired, but I am so starved for human interaction I cannot simply just veg on the couch and watch TV. But I know weekdays are tough, so I wait anxiously for the weekends, when you just want to sit around and do nothing so you can rest. Can't you understand this isn't rest for me? Every second we spend at home, staring at the food network is pure torture for me. I sit here and wish I could sleep until the next day and the next. Please, oh please, lets do SOMETHING, anything, please please please. You ask whats wrong, and I tell you I am bored. But bored is too gentle of a term for the endless depression I feel all day long, every day. I wish I could send this secret to you and for you to actually understand.

Confession #686

You're the kind of man who'll tend to my physical and emotional wounds
for weeks after a near-fatal car accident. You're the kind of man who
makes a responsible father and doting husband. You're the kind of
confident man whose lack of insecurities is refreshing.

But you're also the kind of man who talks too much about how much
you're making now when I supported us for the longest when you had no
job. You're the kind of handsome man whose good looks don't extend to
his stomach and all the talk about gym and eating healthy is just
that: Talk. You're the kind of man who's too cocky to know that I just
faked that orgasm... and the one before and the one before and the one
before that.

You're the kind of man who'll never know that no one can do it like my
ex; the one who did me wrong so many times. But our bodies fit
together like pieces of a puzzle and the orgasms he still gives me
makes me want to cry.

Yes, he still gives me them on the nights you fall asleep with your
hand in my pussy. I love you though. You're a good man, but the sparks
will never be there.


Confession #687

I thanked God today that you let me out the car after you screamed at the top of your lungs at me.... because I could of gone to jail for what I was about to do you.

Confession #688

It really hurts me deeply to be rejected by you sexually time and time again. You seem to prefer masterbating to having sex with me. In the beginning, my self-esteem was low and I assumed it was because you found my body repulsive. I was a size 2/24 I existed on Slim Fast bars and Lean Cuisines and worked out for hours on end 5-6 days a week to try to make myself more physically appealing to you. I tried to be as sweet and loving a possible. I read as much on sex as I could find. I thought maybe I was just horribly bad at it. Now, many, many years later, you are still making up excuses. You even start fights before we go to bed when you think I might initiate. But now, I see it all coming so I don't even bother. But when I hear another women make comments about how her husband can't keep his hands off of her, I get insanely jealous. Because I WISH that could be me. And what I find ironic about this situation is that I'm only about 10 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago. And I've had a child! You no longer have a jawline. You're going bald, also have a hairy back, paunchy stomach, no ass and a 4-inch penis. You are also a selfish jackass who's very lazy in bed. Why do you say, "Not tonight"? You don't even have to do foreplay. You just have to lay there.

Confession #689

Why do YOU get PMS? You do not have ovaries. Yet you bitch and whine like someone jammed a tampon up your ass for at least a full week every month-and no, it does NOT coincide with my cycle, so it's not ME being difficult. You have no right to act like you're on the rag. When blood comes out of YOUR body every month, THEN you earn the right to bitch. Until then, shut up-no one wants to hear your shit.

Confession #690

I wish you would stop drinking and be a productive part of this family. You either blow off or reject every idea that you might be an alcoholic. The facts are simple. you are an alcoholic, your father was an alcoholic your mother was an alcoholic, inspite of their health issues they still both drank until they died.
You don't realize your children see you in the same light you saw your dad. MEAN DRUNK, No you've never laid a hand on the kids but you have a very short fuse and you are impatient and yell entirely too much! Also like your dad you insist on taking on the conversation. Nobody really cares to hear fuck after every other word.
If you want to drink yourself to death, because most of your body is really starting to show signs of abuse, please just let me know, divorce me, tell me to hit the road. We will leave and you can die a slow lonely death, I don't want to watch anymore. I need to get on with my life and be happy and healthy...Yes, I have been abit off lately, because this is weighing so heavily on my mind and I would really like to know if the kids and I are more important that the frickin 30 pack you buy everyday.. Yes, I realize you only drink half of the 30 pak at a time and then you fall asleep... but is that any way to live. As I said, I want a happy and healthy marriage and dont' want to see friends, kids tease someone I love because he's passed out on the floor.
Your not totally to blame, I have turned a blind eye to the whole thing and it didn't dawn on me you had a problem until I started watching the way you dealt with the small things never without a beer in your hand...never a picture without a beer in your hand.
I'm to the point this is your last chance. I used to be so in love with you and now, your just the man I married, we co exist. that's not the marriage you promised me. But I will find it somewhere else...You get help,, I'm done with those stupid meetings... this is your problem, I"m giving it back to you!

True Wife Confessions 68 Guns. (The Alarm WAS one of my first concerts)

Confession #671

I married you partially because we were so fucking hot together. And here we are, years later, still hotter than ever. I love you more and more every day. You are an amazing father, a wonderful husband and still turn me into an animal in the bedroom. I know how lucky I am to have you and when you tell me the same, I know we will be together forever. Thank you for being the special person you are, and thank you for making me feel so incredibly loved on a daily basis.

Confession #672

I hate it when you talk badly about my parents. They may not be the most refined people in the world and are far from perfect, but they are kind and loving and would do anything for my brother and myself. Just because you had no relationship with your father and have a bad relationship with your mother it does not give you the right to try and sabotage the relationship I have with my parents. When you call them "white trash" and other names and then thank god that I am adopted and not genetically related to them it hurts me more that you know. They ARE my parents, not some stranger that I don't know. I love them more than I could ever love you and was lucky to have had them choose me. I don't think that anyone could have had a more loving, supportive and giving mom and dad than I did. Most of the time I just feel sorry for you when you go on your rants about them because you will never know what it is like to have a family that loves you no matter what. I only hope that I am half the mother that mine was and is.

Confession #673

It is really sad when you realize that you are still together only
because you can't afford to split up. I support us on my income alone
now, but there is no way for me to afford child care without you.
Having never pursued a career other than stay-at-home Dad, you have
no way to earn enough to support yourself - much less pay child support.

Confession #674

I love looking at you from behind, when you are walking away and don't know it.
I love your runner's body and your strong legs and tight behind.
Mostly though, I love that you are attracted to me and can't keep your hands off me even though I am in the worst shape I have ever been in my life.


Confession #675

Your family always comes before I do. I asked you to explain to them why next September is not a good time for your brother to get married and you wouldn't do it. You wanted me to say something to them myself. When I did, you jumped my case. Why would your family plan a wedding at the same time of the year that you and I had a preemie and then lost him 11 days later.

I'm almost positive you knew the exact date all along. The wedding is the day before his birthday. You really want me to go back to the place where we lost our son at the same time of the year that we lost him?

You keep telling me I do nothing to help the fragile relationship with your family. Planning this wedding the day before our angel's birthday is not helping. They don't want me there anyway. I'm not going. You can't make me. Be mad if you want. I will not put myself through that.

If you think it is going to be hard for you to go then, tell your family. If they were considerate people, they would do something about it.


Confession #676

Baby, I confess that I married you because I didn't know what I would do
next in life if I didn't do that. I really liked you, but you were a
security blanket, and I recognized that even if I never learnt to love you,
nothing could be as bad as the life I had lived before I met you.

But I did learn to love you. God, what a bunch of growing up that was.
Learning that it wasn't just me anymore, but you and me. And when we finally
moved away from your parents house (and they stopped walking in when we had
sex), oh, happy day! I'm glad that we moved to a new city, a new state, and
finally became good enough for each other; good enough to each other.

So now, instead of just a lazy young girl who takes odd jobs because she
can't see her own self worth, you've helped me mature into a careerwoman
with a steady, successful job where I am valued and enjoyed, and also given
me the courage to think about and begin planning for my own business. I now
own my own car (my first ever!), am losing all of this stupid weight because
of the PCOS (which I would have never found out about because you pushed me
to go to the doctor), and have a better life than anyone I've ever known.
You PUSHED me to be independent, and my own person, and self reliant.

So, every time I talk to you in that silly 'baby' voice, or cling to you so
that we can snuggle just a half hour more on Saturday morning, or when I cry
because I'm scared that I'll never have your children, know that it's
because you completely turn me inside out! You make every fantasy a reality
for me, and you support me even when you have deadlines at work, and you're
tired, and you're worried about your parents. You've shown to me that my
mother, stepfather, and father were really not good examples of what people
should be, and you've helped me rise SO much higher than my mother ever did
in all her years.

I do love you. Desperately. I think I'll print this one day and give it to
you, just so that you'll know.


Confession #677

I confess, I want to have sex with you at least twice a day. And I really
love the fact that you like to receive oral so much. You're the best, most
competent and thoughtful lover I've ever had, and being with you makes me
breathless...Over and over again!

I confess that even though you let me have other lovers because you don't
enjoy S & M, I still wish that all of them were you. And I confess that I
still see one of those men for 'scenes' when you work and I have the
afternoon off.

I confess that it pisses me off when you forget that I'm a competent woman
and that, even though it took me a while to be assertive and responsible
with my finances and my life, I can do it on my own.

I confess that I hate your brother. I've never liked him; I tolerate him
because he'll be all you have when your parents die. And I also confess that
I think that the reason he's had so many problems with failed marriage is
because I think he's a selfish, egotistical, workaholic asshole that takes
advantage of other people's charity.


Confession #678

I confess that I am so afraid that your parent's are going to die. They're
the parents that I never had, and it pains me that one day they won't be
there for me, but more so I know that I won't really have my time to mourn
them, because I'll need to be supportive for you.

I never got over my aunt dying. I just don't know how, and every day I think
of her, and miss her, and my chest still gets tight and I still want to cry
because she's gone. It's been almost two years, and I still hurt like the
first day.

I confess that I cheated on you several times after we got married. Three,
to be honest, and would have more, but I was scared of getting caught. And
I'm sorry for each one of those times. I was sorry even when I was doing it.

I confess that I almost killed myself one night before we got married, and
the only thing that stopped me was the thought that you'd be devastated if I
did.

Confession #679

Honey, thank you for saving me, who knows where I might be if not for you ! I love you more than life. You are my rock. Thank you for 21 great years and 5 beautiful daughters. I hate that my family was so screwed up and you have to know that I come from that. I am so glad that I have you but I do not deserve you....I have thought about cheating a lot..Just so you would leave me and everyone would know I was trashy like my Mom.

Confession #680

Your old bottle of cologne didn't fall into the sink and break. I threw it away because it made you smell like the air freshener in a taxi. I like the one I gave you to replace it much better.

True Wife Confessions 67 Tales of Edgar Allen Poe

Confession #661

I hate your mother and sister. They are crazy, crazy bitches and it's
because of my complete love for you that I will work as hard as I am to have
a workable and peaceful relationship with them. Because you are such an
amazing man I will be the adult, bite my tongue til it bleeds, and always
always always think twice before anything I say or write to either one of
them. I find that as long as I don't expect rational behavior I do alright.

And your Dad and Brother in Law? Pussies. Nice, Kind, Thoughtful....Pussies

Confession #662

I think I feel like such a horrible bitch when I tell you things that I don't like that you do, because you. Are. So. Good to me. So good. I don't deserve you, no matter what you say, and all the love I could give you could never even chalk up to how grateful I am that you, in fact, love ME. I wouldn't deserve it even after a hundred trillion thousand million years of being on my best behavior. That you can put up with the fact that I just CAN'T keep my mouth shut about things, little stupid things, makes me love you even more. For your kindness and patience and good lord, I do love you so.

Confession #663

Did you really, honestly believe our sex life wouldn't change? Who fed you that line of bullshit anyways? I carried & gave birth to two babies in two years. When you made me fuck the minute I got home from my six-week postpartum doctor appointments? Awful. When I was on medication for severe post-partum depression, and you wanted me to call my doc and see if they'd switch me to a different anti-depressant so maybe I'd be hornier? FUCK YOU.

Confession #664

Your temper scares me. I know it is rare, but you become verbally violent when you are "stressed". But don't you dare blame your stress on me. I stay home and raise our children, while you sit as a desk for eight plus hours a day. And when you do come home, you sit on your ass and relax, while I cook you dinner and continue to raise our children. You need to check yourself at the front door and become Dad for the little time you are home.

Confession #665

You are all talk and NO action. You say things need to change but then you never do anything about it. You expect me to change first. I'm tired of waiting. Be proactive in this family and act like the man! Stop hiding from us. Stop working late to avoid things; stop hiding in the bathroom to take a crap four times a night; stop having to "run" to the store.

I married you because I was in love with you and you had a plan for us. Now the plan changes because you get bored with what you are doing. I'm tired of waiting to see what happens. I'm doing more with my life so that I can provide for my children when I leave your sorry butt. Then you will see who is in control.

Confession #666

(This is the confession of Satan)

I actually do speak to kids through hard rock metal.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Confession #667

I hate sex. It seems pointless. I don't know if it is me or if you are the problem. I used to fake every orgasm because I was never having them with you. But I do thank you for our children.

Confession #668

I'm not really at work today. I took the day off and didn't tell you so I could waste time with impunity and without having to interact with your mother.

Confession #669

I HATE your smoking, the chewing tobacco, and the nail biting. Whatever oral fixation you have, it must stop. It will be a simple reason to divorce your sorry butt. You have damaged the lungs of me and your children. If you don't care about yourself, start caring about your children or at least me.

Confession #670

I'm having an emotional affair that is gradually turning physical. I want to stay married to you, and I don't want you to ever find out. I am sorry. But I am also pissed off at you for refusing to deal with your alcoholism, neglecting me to play frickin video games, burning through the contents of our checking account in Atlantic City twice, and yelling at me to make yourself feel better when you're mad at your mother or nervous. I am having a revenge affair because I don't know how to cope with my rage at you without leaving you and throwing our family life into complete turmoil.

Sharing the Love

Dear TWC readers,

Last night I got an email informing me that this humble blog was chosen as one of the Winners for BlogTalk Radio's "Women of the Blogosphere".

I share this with each of you, and thank you for your trust, honesty and dedication. This blog only works because people share, read and comment. I remain amazed that this "little idea" I had to avoid packing has grown into the space that TWC has become. I remain amazed at your willingness to share the not-pretty parts of marriage and partnership, as well as saying what you love about your husbands and partners. This, as one reader recently commented, is the "real deal".

I am researching the charity that will get the donation in TWC's name. I am leaning towards the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. How do you all feel about that?

Keep the confessions coming (No...Seriously, the stash is getting low....)

And congratulations to you all. You should be very proud that we grew this together.

Love,
Dawn

True Wife Confession Route 66 - Getting our kicks

Confession #651

I know how you flirt with other women. I read your myspace comments and your message board comments to other women. How do you think that makes me feel when I see you flirting and calling these other women hot? I feel like a fat piece of shit when you do that. Like I'm not good enough for you. Why do you think I am always upset and mad at you when you go to your events and stuff? Because I know some of those chics are going to be there and you are going to be flirting with them. I stay at home with OUR daughter and you get to go out for weekends and stay gone all night long so that you can be with your friends. Why don't I ever get to do that? Our daughter is only 2.5 years old and you've spent the weekend away probably 8 times now. I've NEVER did that. Sometimes I think I hate you because of it.

Confession #652

Dear Husband,

I know you read this website and I'm hoping you are reading this confession right now. This one really IS mine.

You are an amazing father.

I tell you that all the time and you say, "But I'm a daddy, it's my job!" And I tell you that most husbands I know don't do half of the things you do and you say, "But why? Why'd they have kids in the first place if they weren't going to help out? They're missing out on their children's lives!!" Even writing what you said makes me smile because you really have no clue what a sweetie you are. Most guys aren't raised to believe the daddy has to do more than be a sperm donor and occasionally, "babysit" their own kids. I don't know what went right with you, but kudos to whomever schooled you on what it means to be a real man.

I just wish you'd really believe that you are King Stud Man and A Number One Daddy of the Century. But you shrug and say, "It's no big deal, I like being a dad."

I don't know many husbands who have ALWAYS gotten up with the baby and toddlers overnight because the wife has a hard time falling back to sleep once woken up and the husband can fall asleep easily. He'd rather his wife was well rested because he knows what a hard job being a stay at home mom is. Even tho he works full time and has intense pressures at work. Yeah, honey, that's very very rare. And you've been on "night duty" for years now and never and will be again once the baby comes and you have never complained once and never will. You'll stagger around in a stupor and still say, "Sleep deprivation doesn't bother me."

I don't know many husbands who would come home to a wife sprawled out on the couch with no dinner prepared because she's too sick and drained from being pregnant and grab the kids and say, "Come on, let's make dinner for Mommy tonight!" And do that night after night after night. And never complain- not once. Instead, you say, "You're pregnant. You're making our next child. You're only job is to make sure you feel ok."

And you're not a con artist. You aren't boinking some floozy on the side. You're this big lovable nerd who truly loves being married and being a dad. I think you need to be in a museum where women could owe and aha over you and ask if you could be cloned. You cook, you clean toilets, you do home repair, you tell me to get out of the house for "me time" whenever I want and you never never never complain. You loved me thin and now love me fat because as you say, "I fell in love with YOU, not your clothing size."

Ok, so you're not romantic in the traditional sense. You don't send chocolates and flowers and sweep me off my feet with poetry or whatnot. But when I say I'm bored with the kitchen floor, you will retile the floor without hesitation. That's your version of romantic and honey, I'll take it!

So what's my confession? Not because of anything you do or say, but I fear you will find someone who is better than me. A Victoria Secret model who can cook gourmet meals and actually enjoys keeping the house spotless while wearing short skirts with no panties. She never forgets to send your mother a birthday present and always wears makeup and loves giving oral sex nightly.

Instead you got me. You unlucky bastard. And I have to believe you work as hard as you do for us because you truly love me. But sometimes, I wonder why. Sometimes I fear I'm not good enough and don't deserve you. Then sometimes I tell myself to shut the hell up and just enjoy this incredible experience. I got lucky. I just wish I could give back to you what you give to me and to our family. I will make an effort to show my appreciation more. You deserve more Me Time and Sleep Time and Cooked Dinner Time yourself.

You rock, Stud Man. You rock hard. Never ever forget that. We love you.


Confession #653

I found you last week. Someone sent me a people finder just to see if I was in there and I checked for you instead. Sure enough, there you were. I knew you had moved to another state, but I had no idea where. I now know you live in North Dakota. I told myself it would give me some measure of comfort and security, that it would make things easier knowing you're clear across the country and there's no chance you would ever see me around town and that it was good to know exactly where you are. But I lied to myself - it's so much worse.

I used to only think about you once in a while. Now I think about you all the time. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how you are...that you don't creep into my mind. I know you married her - the her who was standing there so ready to console you when I broke it off. I know you just had your third child. And although I'm happily married with 2 children myself, I can't help wondering or hoping that sometimes she does something or says something that reminds you of me. Maybe she tosses her hair over her shoulder the way I used to, maybe she giggles like I do, maybe it's the way she reaches out to touch your face when you smile like I used to, or maybe she lays her head in your lap and falls asleep like I used to love to do, and I hope that in that moment, even on some subconscious level, you miss me and you miss what we had even just a little bit.

You were the true love of my life. I will forever suffer for being too selfish and stupid to appreciate you when we were kids. I was too stupid to see that you left your friends to come be with me and instead focused on you arriving late. I was too stupid to see that you followed me up to college because you wanted to be with me and not because you wanted a change of scenery. I was too stupid to see that we were an almost perfect fit the way we were and would have been perfect after I grew up a little.

If it at all atones for my behavior then, please know that I still love you, I will always love you, I appreciate you now and I will always live with the thought that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let you go.

Confession #654

I don't know why I looked at the cookies on your computer. I knew what I'd find there, and now I am hurt and humiliated all over again. You try to argue that it's the same as my romance novels, but we both know it's not - those are real women in your porn. And they are women who are younger and thinner than me, and as our marriage goes on, they will be younger and thinner yet than me. One day I'll be in my forties, then fifties, and you'll still be looking at pictures of dead-eyed nineteen year olds who are apparently 'hott' and 'ready' - and who I suppose once dreamt of something more than this.

I can't be 'cool' or 'relaxed' about this. I feel undesirable. I feel unwanted. I can accept that your libido is low because of all the stress you face at work, but to find this stuff on your computer feels like a kick in the teeth. There's a woman right here, in your house, who'd be happy to get naked for you.

And you know that when you look at porn, you're participating in the exploitation of those women (I'm sorry, I don't buy that empowered women crap in the face of the drug abuse and sexual abuse statistics in the industry.) And you're a good guy. You're better than this.

Sometimes I wish to God that the internet had never been invented. At least I could have burnt magazines.


Confession #655

I lie to you when I tell you that it's almost 9 o'clock. It's usually
only 7 am. Although 95% of the time you go right back to sleep I like to
spend extra time with you before you go to work.. even if it is only a
moment or two. A simple sleepy kiss. I love you.

Confession #656

Guess what. The reason I want that divorce RIGHT NOW, in spite of being separated for SOOOOO long (a year-ish) and never making a big deal about it before? I'm pregnant. And hell, honey, it's been a year and, even if I wasn't expecting, I'm just ready to get this over. He's a better match for me than you ever were.

Confession #657

I don't know that I love you as much as I love who I am with you. You make me feel like a queen. I wish I could say that was enough to keep us together forever. But there are just too many things that need to be different, and I know they never will be. I could probably stick it out forever but I just don't want to. I want more out of this short life. I might even want him, instead, even though I know he will never make me feel like you do. But you will never make me feel like he does.

Confession #658

Remember I had a miscarriage two years ago? Well, I
had an abortion (on purpose) after I realized you
weren't going to marry me after dating you for 5
fucking years. I hate you!! I will eventually marry
you then dump you.

Confession #659

I am jealous of you. I do not think I have ever been jealous of you before. I am a little mad too. How does it happen that you get to have a baby by accident, and i who am married and been trying for ever does not. I am happy for you, but I am also jealous.

Confession #660

You disgust me. You said that your antidepressants lowered your sex drive, make you unable to cum. Funny that you sit around and look at porn all day. At night you tell me that you are too tired or not in the mood, or I get 2 seconds of half-assed effort. I found your porn and you lied about it. Looked me in the eye and lied.

I told you before how I feel about that. I take really good care of myself, a lot of men find me attractive, it's wrong to spend all of your sexual energy on porn and leave nothing for your wife. I've got news for you, you want to stay with me, you will pay the price. The only way I will stay with you after this humiliation is by cheating. When I go on my trip next month I am going to cheat on you. I will find a man that makes me feel beautiful and sexy, and then I will give him everything that I now refuse to give you. You made me feel so badly about myself, you Bastard.