Much like a patient parent, I sit and watch - hoping that you can work it out on your own.
However, I also know that it is my job to guide. I created this. I must guide it.
Anonymity is a beautiful thing. It has a time and a place. It has given many people a space to say things that they can't in other places.
It has also allowed some to be cruel and thoughtless. Petulant. Pedantic.
Today as I read all that comes into my inbox ( and I do read everything, I assure you), I realized that I would not allow this to occur in my classroom. As a teacher, I would protect the vulnerable. I would set the standard.
And I say no more.
Own your comments. If you want to be brutish and offensive, then I refuse to allow you to hide behind my skirt any longer.
Confessions remain anonymous - comments will require a username. If that won't work, I will disable comments. But I will not allow the confessors to be beaten senseless by the un-named.
Not in my house. Not in my classroom. Not in this space.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
True Wife Confessions Room 215: Hotel Dusk
Confession #2141
You know that guy that you tease me about....the one you think I want...well I do. I didn't at first...not even a little. But you treat me like shit. You don't tell me you love me, need me, miss me, want me...EVER! I do everything I can to make you happy, and the more I am apart from you...the more that I don't want to move to be with you. The more I realize that I am fine without you-better than fine. I've hung out with him every night this week...with friends, and nothing happened with us...but he's normal...he talks to me, pays attention to me, and actually tries to advise me on what do with you...I know he's attracted to me, and its taking everything in me not to act on it. You haven't called me in WEEKS-oh wait, yea when you needed money you did, but other than that nothing. I need attention, i need love...i at the very least need you to act 1/2 as good to me, as i do to you. I never thought I would get to the point where I don't care about you anymore...But I'm almost there. It is physically draining for me to put so so so much effort into our relationship and reap none of the benefits. I need to be with someone attentive, and fun, and loving...someone who wants to kiss me, and hold me...someone like him. I wish you would change, but I know you never will.
Confession #2142
I told you that if you didn't stop drinking I would leave you. You quit and now I feel like I am stuck with you. Now I feel like my 'out' is gone. The drinking was only one of the things I don't like about you but I figured one thing at a time. I never expected you to actually stop drinking, I mean hell, you would tell me you weren't going to drink and you were on your way home but you would actually be on your way to the bar. I figured an addiction like that would definitely win out over me, but no, you stopped, at least I think you did.
The other things that bother me about you are that you are whiny, selfish, self indulging, overweight, immature, irresponsible, slob, bad lover, minute man, uncaring, paranoid, and you act so old. You are only 36 yet you act like you are 80. During our 9 months together so far I have almost left you several times, I have cried dozens of times, and we are down to having sex once a week? I am only 30, I'm pretty f'n hot, and I love you, yet you continue to treat me like this person that is inferior to you. You over explain everything like I am stupid or something. You tell me how to drive and not in a very pleasant manner at all. You're a dick, and as much as I do love you, I know that you are no good for me. One day I'll get over loving you and at that point I'll be gone. Then you can do your own laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Ass.
Confession #2143
I have $1,000 in a money market account you do not know about. My great aunt sent the money from the trust set up by my great grandparents. You are a terrible saver and the only way I know that money will not be spent on crap is if you do not know about it. It is for EMERGENCY only.
Confession #2144
I realized what it is this evening. You leave the door open to pee when
it is just you, me and our son, but if the girls are home you close the
door. I totally understand why you close the door and there is nothing
wrong with closing the door. I just realized that if the girls were
yours too you would probably leave the door open to pee even if they
were home. I wish the girls were yours so that there would never need
to be closed doors again, we would just be a bit more free wouldn't we?
Confession #2145
I just need to get this off my chest. I am married and I don’t want to be. I have been married 3 times before this one. I have only one conclusion: I don’t like being married.
I am a grown women, own my own home and my children are grown. I like my own space. I was raised where you should be married and I don’t like it. I’m not selfish. I would give my life for my daughters, but I just don’t like living with someone. God knows I have given it my best shot.
I would love for my husband to move out and let me have MY house back. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a nice enough person. I feel like I am his mother. I am already someone’s Mother and a damn good one at that. I have made mistakes and I have made plenty of real doozies.
Why I ask these group, do I feel guilty that I can’t stand being married? I have a good job and can support myself.
Maybe, I don’t want to grow old alone….but what the hell be miserable until I get old???????????
I am not a bar fly or just go around and pick up men, it just seems right at the time. I will say, I would rather have a companion that lived in a different house. He could visit me and we could go out on dates. I have to learn to say NO when I get a big rock stuffed on my finger. Truly, I believe that I am the type of person that does not need to be married.
I am miserable and I have fixed this problem in the past, so I guess I will have to fix it again. I don’t like to fail, but we all fail at one thing or another… I guess mine is marriage and I am the queen of failure when it comes to the sacrament of marriage.
P.S. I don’t hate this husband at all….. he is just a spoiled brat and he gets on every nerve that I have.
I have worked hard to have a nice life and I feel like he is an intruder.
Confession #2146
I know you come on here and read this sometimes. After I told you that I read it all the time you asked if I have ever posted something and now you check it to see if you can find mine. I have posted once and it was an angry post to my ex but it listed all of the wonderful qualities that you have and he doesn't. You are my best friend. No one knows me better than you, I trust no one more than I trust you. I am in love with you. I can tell by the way you look at me, the wonderful things you say to me, the way you tell me you miss me. the way you send me my favorite flowers "just because I'm your bff", I can tell that you love me too. Because of your situation we can not be anything but friends. You have told me that you don't love her anymore but you are afraid of raising your wonderful kids alone and you know that she won't get them nor do you want her to. I want to tell you that you would never be alone. I will always be there for you just the way you have been here for me with my kids. I have never told you how I feel truly but I am sure you know, you can read me like a book. I wish we could just take our kids and run away together. There have been times I could feel how much you want me... your hugs that last longer than they should and the way you hold me for those hugs, the way the kisses on my cheek are so close to my lips, the way your hand brushes my face and even just the look in your eyes. You tell me that if it weren't for her, we could be so much more. You say you wish we met before you married her. I have so much respect for you because you haven't slept with me, not that I am trying or we haven't had the chance, but you don't want to have an affair. I total understand, but isn't that what we are doing? It is an emotional affair. We talk every morning on the way to work, we talk all day at work and on the drive home. You talk to me all night after she goes to bed. You call me and e-mail me all weekend when she isn't around. We talk more than you talk to her. I know more of your deep inner feelings than your own wife. You send me little notes, sweet emails, leaving me little messages, you are sad if we don't get to talk. I would never tell you to choose between me and your wife and I would never tell you to leave her for me. Yes I have told you to leave her but that was before when we only had feelings for each other as friends. No matter how much I love you, I am not going to play this game forever. You tell me I should have been "the one who got away" but we didn't meet in time before you ruined your life getting married to her (your words not mine). Well you know what, I am gonna be the one who got away. You tell me all the time that I am so wonderful any guy would be lucky to have me if I only let him in the way I have let you in. I can't sit around forever waiting for you to get over your fear of being alone. Someone is gonna sweep me off my feet and it will be too late for us. I am sorry, I love you.
Confession #2147
When I met you, everything started out wonderfully. For over a year we talked, laughed, and just recently we made it physical. I told you secrets no one else knew, not even my own family. I told you my dreams, hopes, fears, that no one else even cared to listen to, or hear about.
But when you wanted me to help you pay for a $1,600 ring and watch set and I refused because we weren't committed to each other, that's when your real personality came out.
The secrets I had told you about my time in the military in the past--you used them against me, making me feel like I was a stupid whore because I was young and dumb. The secrets I told you about my family--you also used those against me, telling me 'that was why I was fucked up in the head' and 'no man would ever want to put up with a basket case like me'--reminding me why I stopped dating.
Then you tell me that 'no woman has ever refused to help you do anything' and that you're 'used to having your way because you're spoiled'. That's your fucking problem right there. No woman ever had the balls to tell your ass no, and you love it and hate it. And the fact that you accuse me of trying to sleep with every man who smiles at me? People wave at me or greet me, total strangers, and I speak and move on, yet I'm inviting these people for sex by returning a GREETING? Fuck you, you bastard.
This is why we are no longer together. The things I dealt with in the past... for you to take my own secrets and make me relive the pain I felt, the humiliation... when you promised me you would never hurt me is a knife in my back. This is why I withdraw into myself. This is why I don't hold much faith in the male species. I hate everything you are.
Confession #2148
I've decided to stay. I have the money saved, the lawyers fee paid, a job and an apartment to live in, just waiting for me. But, I decided to stay. For us, for our son, for fear of the unknown. Please don't make me regret it.
We started out with a strong foundation and along the way we both lost trust. You with other women and me with pills. We have to do something to make it work or else in a few short years it will be over. I'll be older, but I will leave. I was a strong woman once and I can be that again. Most of the time I think you forget that.
I love you. I love our son more. He's getting ready to spread his wings and fly, if things don't change maybe I will too. I wonder if you'll care?
Confession #2149
I have felt so alone for many years. We got married young and thought we could prove ourselves to the world.......... guess not. When I want to feel love you too tired or you are mean all the time. You felt bad when I did the wrong and went against you but we made up but one year later, and I still feel alone. I am in love with another. I tried to fight these feelings but they are there.........Sorry!
The other guy and I talk for hours and we seem to connect. I had the chose to choose him over you but the love I have for you made me stay. If I don't feel love I am out......
Sincerely,
Lonely Wife
Confession #2150
I am falling in love with you even though we promised each other we wouldn’t
I know you cant leave her
I cant leave him
But I am falling in love with you
You know that guy that you tease me about....the one you think I want...well I do. I didn't at first...not even a little. But you treat me like shit. You don't tell me you love me, need me, miss me, want me...EVER! I do everything I can to make you happy, and the more I am apart from you...the more that I don't want to move to be with you. The more I realize that I am fine without you-better than fine. I've hung out with him every night this week...with friends, and nothing happened with us...but he's normal...he talks to me, pays attention to me, and actually tries to advise me on what do with you...I know he's attracted to me, and its taking everything in me not to act on it. You haven't called me in WEEKS-oh wait, yea when you needed money you did, but other than that nothing. I need attention, i need love...i at the very least need you to act 1/2 as good to me, as i do to you. I never thought I would get to the point where I don't care about you anymore...But I'm almost there. It is physically draining for me to put so so so much effort into our relationship and reap none of the benefits. I need to be with someone attentive, and fun, and loving...someone who wants to kiss me, and hold me...someone like him. I wish you would change, but I know you never will.
Confession #2142
I told you that if you didn't stop drinking I would leave you. You quit and now I feel like I am stuck with you. Now I feel like my 'out' is gone. The drinking was only one of the things I don't like about you but I figured one thing at a time. I never expected you to actually stop drinking, I mean hell, you would tell me you weren't going to drink and you were on your way home but you would actually be on your way to the bar. I figured an addiction like that would definitely win out over me, but no, you stopped, at least I think you did.
The other things that bother me about you are that you are whiny, selfish, self indulging, overweight, immature, irresponsible, slob, bad lover, minute man, uncaring, paranoid, and you act so old. You are only 36 yet you act like you are 80. During our 9 months together so far I have almost left you several times, I have cried dozens of times, and we are down to having sex once a week? I am only 30, I'm pretty f'n hot, and I love you, yet you continue to treat me like this person that is inferior to you. You over explain everything like I am stupid or something. You tell me how to drive and not in a very pleasant manner at all. You're a dick, and as much as I do love you, I know that you are no good for me. One day I'll get over loving you and at that point I'll be gone. Then you can do your own laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Ass.
Confession #2143
I have $1,000 in a money market account you do not know about. My great aunt sent the money from the trust set up by my great grandparents. You are a terrible saver and the only way I know that money will not be spent on crap is if you do not know about it. It is for EMERGENCY only.
Confession #2144
I realized what it is this evening. You leave the door open to pee when
it is just you, me and our son, but if the girls are home you close the
door. I totally understand why you close the door and there is nothing
wrong with closing the door. I just realized that if the girls were
yours too you would probably leave the door open to pee even if they
were home. I wish the girls were yours so that there would never need
to be closed doors again, we would just be a bit more free wouldn't we?
Confession #2145
I just need to get this off my chest. I am married and I don’t want to be. I have been married 3 times before this one. I have only one conclusion: I don’t like being married.
I am a grown women, own my own home and my children are grown. I like my own space. I was raised where you should be married and I don’t like it. I’m not selfish. I would give my life for my daughters, but I just don’t like living with someone. God knows I have given it my best shot.
I would love for my husband to move out and let me have MY house back. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a nice enough person. I feel like I am his mother. I am already someone’s Mother and a damn good one at that. I have made mistakes and I have made plenty of real doozies.
Why I ask these group, do I feel guilty that I can’t stand being married? I have a good job and can support myself.
Maybe, I don’t want to grow old alone….but what the hell be miserable until I get old???????????
I am not a bar fly or just go around and pick up men, it just seems right at the time. I will say, I would rather have a companion that lived in a different house. He could visit me and we could go out on dates. I have to learn to say NO when I get a big rock stuffed on my finger. Truly, I believe that I am the type of person that does not need to be married.
I am miserable and I have fixed this problem in the past, so I guess I will have to fix it again. I don’t like to fail, but we all fail at one thing or another… I guess mine is marriage and I am the queen of failure when it comes to the sacrament of marriage.
P.S. I don’t hate this husband at all….. he is just a spoiled brat and he gets on every nerve that I have.
I have worked hard to have a nice life and I feel like he is an intruder.
Confession #2146
I know you come on here and read this sometimes. After I told you that I read it all the time you asked if I have ever posted something and now you check it to see if you can find mine. I have posted once and it was an angry post to my ex but it listed all of the wonderful qualities that you have and he doesn't. You are my best friend. No one knows me better than you, I trust no one more than I trust you. I am in love with you. I can tell by the way you look at me, the wonderful things you say to me, the way you tell me you miss me. the way you send me my favorite flowers "just because I'm your bff", I can tell that you love me too. Because of your situation we can not be anything but friends. You have told me that you don't love her anymore but you are afraid of raising your wonderful kids alone and you know that she won't get them nor do you want her to. I want to tell you that you would never be alone. I will always be there for you just the way you have been here for me with my kids. I have never told you how I feel truly but I am sure you know, you can read me like a book. I wish we could just take our kids and run away together. There have been times I could feel how much you want me... your hugs that last longer than they should and the way you hold me for those hugs, the way the kisses on my cheek are so close to my lips, the way your hand brushes my face and even just the look in your eyes. You tell me that if it weren't for her, we could be so much more. You say you wish we met before you married her. I have so much respect for you because you haven't slept with me, not that I am trying or we haven't had the chance, but you don't want to have an affair. I total understand, but isn't that what we are doing? It is an emotional affair. We talk every morning on the way to work, we talk all day at work and on the drive home. You talk to me all night after she goes to bed. You call me and e-mail me all weekend when she isn't around. We talk more than you talk to her. I know more of your deep inner feelings than your own wife. You send me little notes, sweet emails, leaving me little messages, you are sad if we don't get to talk. I would never tell you to choose between me and your wife and I would never tell you to leave her for me. Yes I have told you to leave her but that was before when we only had feelings for each other as friends. No matter how much I love you, I am not going to play this game forever. You tell me I should have been "the one who got away" but we didn't meet in time before you ruined your life getting married to her (your words not mine). Well you know what, I am gonna be the one who got away. You tell me all the time that I am so wonderful any guy would be lucky to have me if I only let him in the way I have let you in. I can't sit around forever waiting for you to get over your fear of being alone. Someone is gonna sweep me off my feet and it will be too late for us. I am sorry, I love you.
Confession #2147
When I met you, everything started out wonderfully. For over a year we talked, laughed, and just recently we made it physical. I told you secrets no one else knew, not even my own family. I told you my dreams, hopes, fears, that no one else even cared to listen to, or hear about.
But when you wanted me to help you pay for a $1,600 ring and watch set and I refused because we weren't committed to each other, that's when your real personality came out.
The secrets I had told you about my time in the military in the past--you used them against me, making me feel like I was a stupid whore because I was young and dumb. The secrets I told you about my family--you also used those against me, telling me 'that was why I was fucked up in the head' and 'no man would ever want to put up with a basket case like me'--reminding me why I stopped dating.
Then you tell me that 'no woman has ever refused to help you do anything' and that you're 'used to having your way because you're spoiled'. That's your fucking problem right there. No woman ever had the balls to tell your ass no, and you love it and hate it. And the fact that you accuse me of trying to sleep with every man who smiles at me? People wave at me or greet me, total strangers, and I speak and move on, yet I'm inviting these people for sex by returning a GREETING? Fuck you, you bastard.
This is why we are no longer together. The things I dealt with in the past... for you to take my own secrets and make me relive the pain I felt, the humiliation... when you promised me you would never hurt me is a knife in my back. This is why I withdraw into myself. This is why I don't hold much faith in the male species. I hate everything you are.
Confession #2148
I've decided to stay. I have the money saved, the lawyers fee paid, a job and an apartment to live in, just waiting for me. But, I decided to stay. For us, for our son, for fear of the unknown. Please don't make me regret it.
We started out with a strong foundation and along the way we both lost trust. You with other women and me with pills. We have to do something to make it work or else in a few short years it will be over. I'll be older, but I will leave. I was a strong woman once and I can be that again. Most of the time I think you forget that.
I love you. I love our son more. He's getting ready to spread his wings and fly, if things don't change maybe I will too. I wonder if you'll care?
Confession #2149
I have felt so alone for many years. We got married young and thought we could prove ourselves to the world.......... guess not. When I want to feel love you too tired or you are mean all the time. You felt bad when I did the wrong and went against you but we made up but one year later, and I still feel alone. I am in love with another. I tried to fight these feelings but they are there.........Sorry!
The other guy and I talk for hours and we seem to connect. I had the chose to choose him over you but the love I have for you made me stay. If I don't feel love I am out......
Sincerely,
Lonely Wife
Confession #2150
I am falling in love with you even though we promised each other we wouldn’t
I know you cant leave her
I cant leave him
But I am falling in love with you
Thursday, October 11, 2007
True Wife Confessions 214 Miltary Discharge
Confession #2131
We don’t think that you should marry him.
Look inside yourself and listen to that nagging voice inside your head telling you not to do it that you ignore all the time.
He will not change because of you. He will still drink too much, embarrass you, neglect you, and then run back every time saying that he’s sorry and buy you dinner.
Intuition is something that shouldn’t be ignored, and when you have more than once that you can’t believe you are going to spend the rest of your life with him – maybe you should stop fearing being alone, and fear living a life like that?
Confession #2132
What makes me so incredibly sad is that I wish we could be as close as the one afternoon where we almost ended the relationship and we clung to each other and wept. I had never seen you get so emotional before about losing me, I just wish you could find ways to show me how much you care like that more often. Seeing you cry broke my heart into so many pieces I wanted to die that day.
Confession #2133
Sometimes I hope I might get in a serious car accident and end up in the hospital. Maybe then he would appreciate how much I do. Maybe then he would miss me a little and not take me for granted. Maybe then he would give me some of the attention he gives his job and the kids. Hell, he pays more attention to his car than he does to me.
Confession #2134
I wish that you would listen to me and treat me the way a husband would treat his wife. I can't even count how many times I have told you that your mother is stealling my things and I am sick of it. Every time I tell you all you can say is, "You're a liar! My mom would never do that!" Well, NEWS FLASH........She is and has been for who knows how long. I am finding MY things in HER room constantly. On several occasions I have seen her wearing MY things, which of course she STOLE!! Last Saturday while she was at work I went in her room to see if something of mine that was missing was in her room. I didn't find what I was looking for but I found some of my other things. She didn't talk to me for 3-4 days because she was mad I went in her room. I wouldn't go in her room if she wasn't hiding MY things in HER room. Why is it so hard for you to believe me and stand by my side?? I am waiting for her to say something to me so I can tell her to leave my things alone. I know she is giving my things away to other people and who is she to decide what to do with my things?? Some of the stuff she steals from me I have been saving for our daughter to use when she is old enough. When you ask me what I think she stole you tell me it isn't important. It might not be important to you, but it is important to me and that is all that should matter. WAKE UP!!! YOUR MOM ISN'T AS PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
I CAN'T REMAIN SANE MUCH LONGER!!!
Confession #2135
i wish you didn't leave me alone tonight. But you did. i didn't want to be alone. and you knew that. but you still left. and now i am alone. every time you get my hopes up... i end up alone... again... again... i don't even care about the other stuff, this was the only promise that mattered. and you said "you have the dog now, you're not alone"... at least i have the dog... now... and i'm still alone...
Confession #2136
I'm scared to walk away because I'm so in love with you.
I'm scared to stay because I don't think that you love me back.
I have never felt more alone
Confession #2137
I debated on whether or not to confess this or not. Not because I think you read this. And definitely not because I think she reads this. But because it feels like betraying our secret.
So instead of betraying that, I just wanted to say that I think I'm in love with you, even though you choose her and even though you hang on and try to make things work with her. You are my best friend, and I trust you with everything that I have. I want to thank you for owning up to the fact that you were a dick, and apologizing. I want to thank you for being honest with me on a constant basis.
The only real complaint is that every time I catch you looking at me, I think I see emotions that you're trying to ignore. Your eyes always say yes, but I think you're letting your head get in the way of at least part of your heart. But its okay. I think you'll figure out that she's a bitch who doesn't deserve what you're offering soon.
I love you and I'll be there for you for life.
Confession #2138
You are the most important thing to me. I know I get moody and treat you like crap sometimes, but truly? I am soo soo very happy with you. We got married when I was 20; alot of people thought that I was too young and that I should experience life before settling down. Little do they know that the only way I want to experience life is by your side. You make me so happy: when you want to snuggle after work, when you rave about my cooking, when you pick me up after work to surprise me, when you leave work early and skip happy hour just because you'd rather be home with me. You, my love, are wonderful; and I am so glad you are mine.
Confession #2139
To my sister;
I’m sorry your life isn’t as perfect as you want it to be. I’m sorry your child isn’t perfect all the time and only took a short nap today. How about asking about my day for once?! How about saying “Hey! I’ll make dinner tonight! Come on over!”? You’ve eaten dinner over here more times than I can count!!! You whine about money when you have THOUSANDS in your savings account and carry hundreds of dollars in cash in your wallet! I don’t even have enough damn money to buy gas or groceries this week! I don’t even know if I’ll have dinner tonight! I only have enough for the kids to eat the rest of the week. How the hell would you like that feeling?! But you wouldn’t know any of this because every time I try to tell you, you tell me how rough it is being you and having to eat out again tonight! You say you are on a budget. Want to trade? I’d love a budget that lets me buy shoes, clothes, toys for the kids, DVDs, and eat out every day! I love you, but I really don’t like you right now.
Confession #2140
My love, when you drew the bath for me this morning- turning on slow music, putting in scented oil and then getting into the tub with me so we could talk? I can't imagine my life without you. I was never romantic. Never. I was the practical one. People don't find soulmates, that is silly, I thought. I am too old for this, I thought, and people simply do not find each other the way we did. You rubbed my feet in your hands as we talked about our days apart. You held my face in your hands as we giggled and you kissed me and told me that I am gorgeous and beautiful - even as I told you that I think I gained weight and feel fat. We talked about the kids - your kids. My kids. We talked about how it will be for us to live together some day - but not yet.
We don’t think that you should marry him.
Look inside yourself and listen to that nagging voice inside your head telling you not to do it that you ignore all the time.
He will not change because of you. He will still drink too much, embarrass you, neglect you, and then run back every time saying that he’s sorry and buy you dinner.
Intuition is something that shouldn’t be ignored, and when you have more than once that you can’t believe you are going to spend the rest of your life with him – maybe you should stop fearing being alone, and fear living a life like that?
Confession #2132
What makes me so incredibly sad is that I wish we could be as close as the one afternoon where we almost ended the relationship and we clung to each other and wept. I had never seen you get so emotional before about losing me, I just wish you could find ways to show me how much you care like that more often. Seeing you cry broke my heart into so many pieces I wanted to die that day.
Confession #2133
Sometimes I hope I might get in a serious car accident and end up in the hospital. Maybe then he would appreciate how much I do. Maybe then he would miss me a little and not take me for granted. Maybe then he would give me some of the attention he gives his job and the kids. Hell, he pays more attention to his car than he does to me.
Confession #2134
I wish that you would listen to me and treat me the way a husband would treat his wife. I can't even count how many times I have told you that your mother is stealling my things and I am sick of it. Every time I tell you all you can say is, "You're a liar! My mom would never do that!" Well, NEWS FLASH........She is and has been for who knows how long. I am finding MY things in HER room constantly. On several occasions I have seen her wearing MY things, which of course she STOLE!! Last Saturday while she was at work I went in her room to see if something of mine that was missing was in her room. I didn't find what I was looking for but I found some of my other things. She didn't talk to me for 3-4 days because she was mad I went in her room. I wouldn't go in her room if she wasn't hiding MY things in HER room. Why is it so hard for you to believe me and stand by my side?? I am waiting for her to say something to me so I can tell her to leave my things alone. I know she is giving my things away to other people and who is she to decide what to do with my things?? Some of the stuff she steals from me I have been saving for our daughter to use when she is old enough. When you ask me what I think she stole you tell me it isn't important. It might not be important to you, but it is important to me and that is all that should matter. WAKE UP!!! YOUR MOM ISN'T AS PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
I CAN'T REMAIN SANE MUCH LONGER!!!
Confession #2135
i wish you didn't leave me alone tonight. But you did. i didn't want to be alone. and you knew that. but you still left. and now i am alone. every time you get my hopes up... i end up alone... again... again... i don't even care about the other stuff, this was the only promise that mattered. and you said "you have the dog now, you're not alone"... at least i have the dog... now... and i'm still alone...
Confession #2136
I'm scared to walk away because I'm so in love with you.
I'm scared to stay because I don't think that you love me back.
I have never felt more alone
Confession #2137
I debated on whether or not to confess this or not. Not because I think you read this. And definitely not because I think she reads this. But because it feels like betraying our secret.
So instead of betraying that, I just wanted to say that I think I'm in love with you, even though you choose her and even though you hang on and try to make things work with her. You are my best friend, and I trust you with everything that I have. I want to thank you for owning up to the fact that you were a dick, and apologizing. I want to thank you for being honest with me on a constant basis.
The only real complaint is that every time I catch you looking at me, I think I see emotions that you're trying to ignore. Your eyes always say yes, but I think you're letting your head get in the way of at least part of your heart. But its okay. I think you'll figure out that she's a bitch who doesn't deserve what you're offering soon.
I love you and I'll be there for you for life.
Confession #2138
You are the most important thing to me. I know I get moody and treat you like crap sometimes, but truly? I am soo soo very happy with you. We got married when I was 20; alot of people thought that I was too young and that I should experience life before settling down. Little do they know that the only way I want to experience life is by your side. You make me so happy: when you want to snuggle after work, when you rave about my cooking, when you pick me up after work to surprise me, when you leave work early and skip happy hour just because you'd rather be home with me. You, my love, are wonderful; and I am so glad you are mine.
Confession #2139
To my sister;
I’m sorry your life isn’t as perfect as you want it to be. I’m sorry your child isn’t perfect all the time and only took a short nap today. How about asking about my day for once?! How about saying “Hey! I’ll make dinner tonight! Come on over!”? You’ve eaten dinner over here more times than I can count!!! You whine about money when you have THOUSANDS in your savings account and carry hundreds of dollars in cash in your wallet! I don’t even have enough damn money to buy gas or groceries this week! I don’t even know if I’ll have dinner tonight! I only have enough for the kids to eat the rest of the week. How the hell would you like that feeling?! But you wouldn’t know any of this because every time I try to tell you, you tell me how rough it is being you and having to eat out again tonight! You say you are on a budget. Want to trade? I’d love a budget that lets me buy shoes, clothes, toys for the kids, DVDs, and eat out every day! I love you, but I really don’t like you right now.
Confession #2140
My love, when you drew the bath for me this morning- turning on slow music, putting in scented oil and then getting into the tub with me so we could talk? I can't imagine my life without you. I was never romantic. Never. I was the practical one. People don't find soulmates, that is silly, I thought. I am too old for this, I thought, and people simply do not find each other the way we did. You rubbed my feet in your hands as we talked about our days apart. You held my face in your hands as we giggled and you kissed me and told me that I am gorgeous and beautiful - even as I told you that I think I gained weight and feel fat. We talked about the kids - your kids. My kids. We talked about how it will be for us to live together some day - but not yet.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
True Wife Confession 213 Regulate
Confession #2121
Do you want to know why we drifted apart? It's because of your stupid attitude. It's time you realize that we are different. I cant be as perfect and organized as you are. Hell why should I? I'm spontaneous and adventurous. I love to laugh and have fun. You are so fucking boring I could scream. Your idea of fun and spending time together is watching a movie. I love movies but not that crap you love to watch. We have absolutely nothing in common no wonder we disagree on so much. You say that life is black or white, I think its not always black or white it's sometimes grey. I hate the way you are always so perfect and expect me to be perfect also. I hate how you constantly criticize me about everything. Dont you know by doing this you make me resent you more. I wish you would stop treating me like your child and more like an adult person.
Confession #2122
I have been on Prozac for one week. My husband doesn't know. I think he is part of the reason I have turned to medication...
Confession #2123
I know you are sick with a cold. And I feel sorry for you. But take some damn medication!! Your moaning and groaning about how sick you are and then your refusal to take any medicine to help you feel more comfortable? Drives me CRAZY. Just take some tylenol cold for gods sake, like every other person who has a cold!
Confession #2124
I'm sorry I couldn't hear you knocking at the front door. The TV was on, I was running water while washing dishes in the kitchen and talking to our daughter. You acted like I committed the ultimate sin or something, just because you had to use the back door. "Why do you have the fucking front door locked up anyway?", you yelled. Because we live in a freaking shitty neighborhood, that's why. And I never know if you are outside, inside, just left in the car....I'm paranoid about someone coming in our house when you aren't there. I'm sorry I'm not superwoman, psychic, June Cleaver, and Betty Crocker. I do the best I can, but you don't seem to realize that. Sometimes I just wish that you could be me for a day, and realize how hard I try to please everyone, to be a good wife and mother, to be a good employee, and how stressed out and tired I am. I try to give you that courtesy - to not judge you or hold grudges against you because I don't know what it is like to be you.
Confession #2125
Dear Husband,
I'm s
orry for cheating on you and getting pregnant. I'm sorry for you being so embarrassed that you haven't talked to your family since you found out. My infidelity wasn't caused by something missing in our relationship. We have a good marriage.
Sadly, the only thing I have to offer you or anyone else is sex and what results from it. I'm emotionally hollow. I have two settings - addiction and indifference - either acute or chronic. Nothing will fix this, not therapy or time. I have left the decision of reconciling or not, up to you for those reasons. I could go either way so whatever you choose, I will accept.
This will not be the end of my infidelity, it will happen again with someone else at some other random time, so don't be in denial of that. You can justify my behavior to yourself or others as a symptom of my bipolar disorder, if that is what you want to do.
If you decide to reconcile, I will be supportive of you in everything you do and provide a good homelife. If you want more children, I will have them. Just please, don't expect more than that.
Sincerely,
Your Wife
Confession #2126
When you told me that my daughter manipulated me into allowing her to slide by things I always resented knowing you were really right and I was too stubborn and prideful to admit it. I fought you and became defensive and refused to allow you to complete sentences so it became a fight. It was the only thing we ever fought about. Now she is out of high school, she has nothing to show for any of the time that's passed and has barely gotten into the most accessible colleges, yet she's chosen not to go and is instead working at a fast food joint making minimum wage.
You've been proven right over and over again, but you've never gloated or said I told you so. I know as I think back that you always focused on each issue; you had a clear picture of what the best outcome was and what she needed to do differently to get there, and I never listened. Each time I made it easy for her to fail, to not even try while at the same time fighting with her and allowing her to control me. Every time she demonstrated an interest in something you were always the first to find all the ways you could that would encourage her and support her, from buying any piece of equipment needed to just being willing to talk to her about it and encourage her to do her best. She always gave up, she'd keep it from you and I'd let it go.
You were right, I never listened and now she has burned so many bridges, yet you still say to keep trying and that kids come of age at all sorts of ages. After all the fighting and resisting and lack of acknowledgment that you were right about not always making it easy for her to fail, you amazingly bare no resentment toward me. You still look for every opportunity for her to be successful and do everything in your power to get her there. How do you do that? How do you stay the course? Your own kids all excel, they are all wonderful, engaging, functional citizens; you knew what you were doing and I allowed my own selfish pride to prevent you influencing my daughter. My god, I am a fool!
I am to weak and prideful to tell you this, but I promise to show you how much I love you for this and the so many unselfish things you are. This month is our 10th anniversary and I love you now more than I even knew was possible when we first married. That I can tell you, that I will make sure you know. I don't know why I can't stand my ground with her, and I am heartbroken over the path she is headed down. I have been my own worst enemy, and worse yet, I've allowed it to hurt her as well.
Confession #2127
It hurts me, deep in my soul, that you have asked and expected me to change pieces of me but you will not reciprocate. I know you will never change your unromantic ways (how I wish you were excited to see me when I come home or planned surprises for me) but when you are late to everything, and I mean everything, it is disrespectful. You tell me to take it easy or not get so uptight but it is rude to show up a half hour or hour late to a couples night or to my parents house. The people in my life that love me have accepted this about you but it doesn't make it right. You could change this if you wanted to but I just don't feel you want to.
We have been together 8 years. LONG time. And in that long time, throughout all of our ups and downs, it is always me that adjusts to make you happy. I'm a passive person by nature but I feel taken advantage of. When I voice my complaints, you turn it around and get angry at me. You excuse your complaints about me as you wanting to help me be a better person...but if that's the case, why can't I "help" you? I truly believe you think you are perfect and you're not. And I love you 140% anyway. I don't care that you leave your snot rags on your nightstand for days or that you drool over women right in front of me. But I do take issue with you not defending me to your family, calling me stupid and telling me how to spend my free time. Why are you so controlling?
And your ultimate form of control over me is marriage. You haven't asked me to marry you and I am at the point where I think you don't want to marry me. You say you do, you tell me you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with me...but you don't go beyond that. At first it was my weight. You said you can't spend the rest of your life with someone who can't do the active things you want to always do. So I worked on that and it's gotten better. Then it was my financial issues...even though you could lighten my burden by not insisting I pay half of just about everything we do together. And now you say it's a trust issue. That I'm not 100% honest and open with you about my food issues and what else am I hiding? I'm starting to think these are excuses. I'm starting to think that if you really wanted to marry me, you would ask. I wish I could believe you are going to surprise me like you say you will...but everytime you plop down $200 for a concert I'd rather not go to, I know that that money could have been saved to make me your wife and you aren't doing it.
Why can't you be happy with me?
Confession #2128
D(ick)H(ead), I've just about had it with you.
The other week, you complained that I was becoming "distant" and "withdrawn" and that you felt that I was very unhappy. You didn't seem able to connect it with the fact that in the last few months you seem to think it's perfectly OK to treat me rudely and disrespectfully, and having tantrums over unbelievably minor shit that would make a 5 year old proud.
If you treated anyone else like that, you would get cut off for life, but somehow you seem to think that since I live in this house it's OK and after you get over it I should just forget about it and play happy families. Not fucking likely. Every time you act like a disrespectful ass to me, I care a little bit less about you. Push me far enough, to the point where I don't care any more at all, and I will walk and be glad to do it.
I understand that you are under a huge amount of stress with your family shit and your mother's illness. However, I don't deserve to have you treat me like this, and I will not put up with it.
You bitch at me for not wanting kids, yet you can't seem to notice when clothes need to get washed, the dishwasher needs to get loaded, or things need to be picked up. And somehow it's my fault if the laundry fairy or the housework fairy doesn't wash the clothes or do something when you arbitrarily decide it should happen. Get over yourself asshole. You live here, you contribute to the mess, and you're too good to dirty your hands cleaning it? Fuck you.
Want kids? Get over it, asshole. You're the one who wants them, not me. Until you prove to me that you're able to pick up your own fucking slack, I'm going to keep right on popping those magic birth control pills. I'm seriously considering getting an IUD as well, so I can say that I'm "off the pill" when you start nagging me about "trying". If I found out that I were pregnant today, I would abort. That's how much I hate the idea of being stuck with all the fucking childcare, and the idea of being tied to you by a child if you keep acting like this. Why do you think I'd want to have a kid with somebody who can't treat me civilly?
The other night was a perfect example of everything I'm starting to hate about you. I said that my parents had suggested we spend xmas with them at my grandmother's. She's 90 years old, has just been widowed, and is too ill to travel. Every other year, we host dinner and your fucking pigs of relatives make asses of themselves. For one year, I suggested we do something different and go over on xmas day. Your bitch of a mother was even invited, so she wouldn't be alone. We've done this ONCE before in the 13 years we've been together. I understand it's a long drive, and if you had calmly said you didn't want to do it and you'd rather go later that week instead, that would have been perfectly acceptable. Instead, you had a huge drama queen hysterical tantrum complete with screaming and yelling. When I lost my temper because OF THE WAY YOU TREATED ME, you had more hysterics about how xmas was so important to you and how could I suggest this, all the while weaseling out of apologizing for your completely. Well, asshole, you'll get what you want...but I am not lifting a finger this year to plan dinner. You can deal with it all, and I don't want to know. I'm very tempted to just go to my GM's instead and leave you to deal with your relatives' crap.
I'm also getting really sick of sex once a week. You bitch that you're too tired, but you're not too tired to play with the fucking computer for hours. And I can't remember the last time you actually tried anything adventurous or interesting. Most guys would be thrilled to have a wife who loves sex like I do and could happily do multiple times a day plus some moderate kink. I'm 30 years old, fit and sexy...why the hell should I have to feel like I need to initiate every time? Try showing some interest and using your imagination for once.
Fuck you, you selfish piece of shit. If you knew how much I was starting to fantasize about leaving for good, you might not be so quick to be such an asshole.
Confession #2129
To my mother-in-law who loves to milk sympathy and is so self-righteous
and pious to all:
You know I am so disappointed in you. I thought you were such a caring
person, but you’re too selfish to be. You wouldn’t even let us borrow a
vehicle and you know what a hard time we’re having financially and I
just hope that your vehicles keep you warm when you’re sitting out there
by yourself. I sure as won’t be bending over backward to do anything
for you anymore. You always brag about tithing, but you can tithe until
the cows come home. But if you’re selfish and stingy (and that you are),
God will take notice of it. You were so particular with that stupid
white car and wouldn’t let anyone drive it and pitched a fit when Xxxx
and I borrowed your ugly old Pontiac to use to drive when my Daddy was
dying. Well, now you got a taste of what my family went through. I
think God took your husband as a way to show you that that stupid white
car wasn’t as important as say, Xxxxx! I know never to depend on you for
anything, that’s for sure. It’s a wonder you ever give anything away as
selfish as you are. You have money in the bank and are so selfish with
it. I hope those Florida people sue your ass off and take everything
you own and I think it’s funny that you’re too stupid to know any
better. Don’t ever ask for another favor, EVER! By the way, you waddle
like a duck when you walk and are built like one to boot! HA! I’m
tired of your son being so defensive over you. I don’t know why. You
almost killed him when he was little. I think that’s why he beats me- I
wish he’d come back and beat the shit out of you!
Confession #2130
Ya know I felt wretched for what I had done to you. I didn't want to hurt you, but today you had the unmitigated gall to force me to tell you one of my secrets. DO YOU NOT GET IT?! Everyone has them! Including you! and Just because It's "Not fair to make you tell a secret" doesn't make it right that you forced me.
You ended up doing the one thing..the one thing you said you wouldn't do, which is force me to do anything. I'm almost 20 years old! Just because you are 26 doesn't mean you have anymore wisdom than me. I probably have more life experience than you, I have loved more than one man.
The worst part is is that I still bend to you..6 years and I'm still cowering and saying "Yes, I'm bad and blah blah." I shouldn't HAVE to tell you anything, not to mention the first secret is the one you hated most.
I would be with him if I could. I would run away and marry him and in love. Because I love him, as much as I did when I was fully in love with you. And HE treats me well, holy crap go figure! But he is my half-brother and I can't do anything to change that, I can't bear his children and it kills me sometimes.
You have to get over it, I wouldn't be fighting to get back together with you if I planned on spending my life with him. You are being vile and worse than I ever was. I may have slept with him but I didn't humiliate you. I never changed...I think you may have..and it scares me..
Do you want to know why we drifted apart? It's because of your stupid attitude. It's time you realize that we are different. I cant be as perfect and organized as you are. Hell why should I? I'm spontaneous and adventurous. I love to laugh and have fun. You are so fucking boring I could scream. Your idea of fun and spending time together is watching a movie. I love movies but not that crap you love to watch. We have absolutely nothing in common no wonder we disagree on so much. You say that life is black or white, I think its not always black or white it's sometimes grey. I hate the way you are always so perfect and expect me to be perfect also. I hate how you constantly criticize me about everything. Dont you know by doing this you make me resent you more. I wish you would stop treating me like your child and more like an adult person.
Confession #2122
I have been on Prozac for one week. My husband doesn't know. I think he is part of the reason I have turned to medication...
Confession #2123
I know you are sick with a cold. And I feel sorry for you. But take some damn medication!! Your moaning and groaning about how sick you are and then your refusal to take any medicine to help you feel more comfortable? Drives me CRAZY. Just take some tylenol cold for gods sake, like every other person who has a cold!
Confession #2124
I'm sorry I couldn't hear you knocking at the front door. The TV was on, I was running water while washing dishes in the kitchen and talking to our daughter. You acted like I committed the ultimate sin or something, just because you had to use the back door. "Why do you have the fucking front door locked up anyway?", you yelled. Because we live in a freaking shitty neighborhood, that's why. And I never know if you are outside, inside, just left in the car....I'm paranoid about someone coming in our house when you aren't there. I'm sorry I'm not superwoman, psychic, June Cleaver, and Betty Crocker. I do the best I can, but you don't seem to realize that. Sometimes I just wish that you could be me for a day, and realize how hard I try to please everyone, to be a good wife and mother, to be a good employee, and how stressed out and tired I am. I try to give you that courtesy - to not judge you or hold grudges against you because I don't know what it is like to be you.
Confession #2125
Dear Husband,
I'm s
orry for cheating on you and getting pregnant. I'm sorry for you being so embarrassed that you haven't talked to your family since you found out. My infidelity wasn't caused by something missing in our relationship. We have a good marriage.
Sadly, the only thing I have to offer you or anyone else is sex and what results from it. I'm emotionally hollow. I have two settings - addiction and indifference - either acute or chronic. Nothing will fix this, not therapy or time. I have left the decision of reconciling or not, up to you for those reasons. I could go either way so whatever you choose, I will accept.
This will not be the end of my infidelity, it will happen again with someone else at some other random time, so don't be in denial of that. You can justify my behavior to yourself or others as a symptom of my bipolar disorder, if that is what you want to do.
If you decide to reconcile, I will be supportive of you in everything you do and provide a good homelife. If you want more children, I will have them. Just please, don't expect more than that.
Sincerely,
Your Wife
Confession #2126
When you told me that my daughter manipulated me into allowing her to slide by things I always resented knowing you were really right and I was too stubborn and prideful to admit it. I fought you and became defensive and refused to allow you to complete sentences so it became a fight. It was the only thing we ever fought about. Now she is out of high school, she has nothing to show for any of the time that's passed and has barely gotten into the most accessible colleges, yet she's chosen not to go and is instead working at a fast food joint making minimum wage.
You've been proven right over and over again, but you've never gloated or said I told you so. I know as I think back that you always focused on each issue; you had a clear picture of what the best outcome was and what she needed to do differently to get there, and I never listened. Each time I made it easy for her to fail, to not even try while at the same time fighting with her and allowing her to control me. Every time she demonstrated an interest in something you were always the first to find all the ways you could that would encourage her and support her, from buying any piece of equipment needed to just being willing to talk to her about it and encourage her to do her best. She always gave up, she'd keep it from you and I'd let it go.
You were right, I never listened and now she has burned so many bridges, yet you still say to keep trying and that kids come of age at all sorts of ages. After all the fighting and resisting and lack of acknowledgment that you were right about not always making it easy for her to fail, you amazingly bare no resentment toward me. You still look for every opportunity for her to be successful and do everything in your power to get her there. How do you do that? How do you stay the course? Your own kids all excel, they are all wonderful, engaging, functional citizens; you knew what you were doing and I allowed my own selfish pride to prevent you influencing my daughter. My god, I am a fool!
I am to weak and prideful to tell you this, but I promise to show you how much I love you for this and the so many unselfish things you are. This month is our 10th anniversary and I love you now more than I even knew was possible when we first married. That I can tell you, that I will make sure you know. I don't know why I can't stand my ground with her, and I am heartbroken over the path she is headed down. I have been my own worst enemy, and worse yet, I've allowed it to hurt her as well.
Confession #2127
It hurts me, deep in my soul, that you have asked and expected me to change pieces of me but you will not reciprocate. I know you will never change your unromantic ways (how I wish you were excited to see me when I come home or planned surprises for me) but when you are late to everything, and I mean everything, it is disrespectful. You tell me to take it easy or not get so uptight but it is rude to show up a half hour or hour late to a couples night or to my parents house. The people in my life that love me have accepted this about you but it doesn't make it right. You could change this if you wanted to but I just don't feel you want to.
We have been together 8 years. LONG time. And in that long time, throughout all of our ups and downs, it is always me that adjusts to make you happy. I'm a passive person by nature but I feel taken advantage of. When I voice my complaints, you turn it around and get angry at me. You excuse your complaints about me as you wanting to help me be a better person...but if that's the case, why can't I "help" you? I truly believe you think you are perfect and you're not. And I love you 140% anyway. I don't care that you leave your snot rags on your nightstand for days or that you drool over women right in front of me. But I do take issue with you not defending me to your family, calling me stupid and telling me how to spend my free time. Why are you so controlling?
And your ultimate form of control over me is marriage. You haven't asked me to marry you and I am at the point where I think you don't want to marry me. You say you do, you tell me you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with me...but you don't go beyond that. At first it was my weight. You said you can't spend the rest of your life with someone who can't do the active things you want to always do. So I worked on that and it's gotten better. Then it was my financial issues...even though you could lighten my burden by not insisting I pay half of just about everything we do together. And now you say it's a trust issue. That I'm not 100% honest and open with you about my food issues and what else am I hiding? I'm starting to think these are excuses. I'm starting to think that if you really wanted to marry me, you would ask. I wish I could believe you are going to surprise me like you say you will...but everytime you plop down $200 for a concert I'd rather not go to, I know that that money could have been saved to make me your wife and you aren't doing it.
Why can't you be happy with me?
Confession #2128
D(ick)H(ead), I've just about had it with you.
The other week, you complained that I was becoming "distant" and "withdrawn" and that you felt that I was very unhappy. You didn't seem able to connect it with the fact that in the last few months you seem to think it's perfectly OK to treat me rudely and disrespectfully, and having tantrums over unbelievably minor shit that would make a 5 year old proud.
If you treated anyone else like that, you would get cut off for life, but somehow you seem to think that since I live in this house it's OK and after you get over it I should just forget about it and play happy families. Not fucking likely. Every time you act like a disrespectful ass to me, I care a little bit less about you. Push me far enough, to the point where I don't care any more at all, and I will walk and be glad to do it.
I understand that you are under a huge amount of stress with your family shit and your mother's illness. However, I don't deserve to have you treat me like this, and I will not put up with it.
You bitch at me for not wanting kids, yet you can't seem to notice when clothes need to get washed, the dishwasher needs to get loaded, or things need to be picked up. And somehow it's my fault if the laundry fairy or the housework fairy doesn't wash the clothes or do something when you arbitrarily decide it should happen. Get over yourself asshole. You live here, you contribute to the mess, and you're too good to dirty your hands cleaning it? Fuck you.
Want kids? Get over it, asshole. You're the one who wants them, not me. Until you prove to me that you're able to pick up your own fucking slack, I'm going to keep right on popping those magic birth control pills. I'm seriously considering getting an IUD as well, so I can say that I'm "off the pill" when you start nagging me about "trying". If I found out that I were pregnant today, I would abort. That's how much I hate the idea of being stuck with all the fucking childcare, and the idea of being tied to you by a child if you keep acting like this. Why do you think I'd want to have a kid with somebody who can't treat me civilly?
The other night was a perfect example of everything I'm starting to hate about you. I said that my parents had suggested we spend xmas with them at my grandmother's. She's 90 years old, has just been widowed, and is too ill to travel. Every other year, we host dinner and your fucking pigs of relatives make asses of themselves. For one year, I suggested we do something different and go over on xmas day. Your bitch of a mother was even invited, so she wouldn't be alone. We've done this ONCE before in the 13 years we've been together. I understand it's a long drive, and if you had calmly said you didn't want to do it and you'd rather go later that week instead, that would have been perfectly acceptable. Instead, you had a huge drama queen hysterical tantrum complete with screaming and yelling. When I lost my temper because OF THE WAY YOU TREATED ME, you had more hysterics about how xmas was so important to you and how could I suggest this, all the while weaseling out of apologizing for your completely. Well, asshole, you'll get what you want...but I am not lifting a finger this year to plan dinner. You can deal with it all, and I don't want to know. I'm very tempted to just go to my GM's instead and leave you to deal with your relatives' crap.
I'm also getting really sick of sex once a week. You bitch that you're too tired, but you're not too tired to play with the fucking computer for hours. And I can't remember the last time you actually tried anything adventurous or interesting. Most guys would be thrilled to have a wife who loves sex like I do and could happily do multiple times a day plus some moderate kink. I'm 30 years old, fit and sexy...why the hell should I have to feel like I need to initiate every time? Try showing some interest and using your imagination for once.
Fuck you, you selfish piece of shit. If you knew how much I was starting to fantasize about leaving for good, you might not be so quick to be such an asshole.
Confession #2129
To my mother-in-law who loves to milk sympathy and is so self-righteous
and pious to all:
You know I am so disappointed in you. I thought you were such a caring
person, but you’re too selfish to be. You wouldn’t even let us borrow a
vehicle and you know what a hard time we’re having financially and I
just hope that your vehicles keep you warm when you’re sitting out there
by yourself. I sure as won’t be bending over backward to do anything
for you anymore. You always brag about tithing, but you can tithe until
the cows come home. But if you’re selfish and stingy (and that you are),
God will take notice of it. You were so particular with that stupid
white car and wouldn’t let anyone drive it and pitched a fit when Xxxx
and I borrowed your ugly old Pontiac to use to drive when my Daddy was
dying. Well, now you got a taste of what my family went through. I
think God took your husband as a way to show you that that stupid white
car wasn’t as important as say, Xxxxx! I know never to depend on you for
anything, that’s for sure. It’s a wonder you ever give anything away as
selfish as you are. You have money in the bank and are so selfish with
it. I hope those Florida people sue your ass off and take everything
you own and I think it’s funny that you’re too stupid to know any
better. Don’t ever ask for another favor, EVER! By the way, you waddle
like a duck when you walk and are built like one to boot! HA! I’m
tired of your son being so defensive over you. I don’t know why. You
almost killed him when he was little. I think that’s why he beats me- I
wish he’d come back and beat the shit out of you!
Confession #2130
Ya know I felt wretched for what I had done to you. I didn't want to hurt you, but today you had the unmitigated gall to force me to tell you one of my secrets. DO YOU NOT GET IT?! Everyone has them! Including you! and Just because It's "Not fair to make you tell a secret" doesn't make it right that you forced me.
You ended up doing the one thing..the one thing you said you wouldn't do, which is force me to do anything. I'm almost 20 years old! Just because you are 26 doesn't mean you have anymore wisdom than me. I probably have more life experience than you, I have loved more than one man.
The worst part is is that I still bend to you..6 years and I'm still cowering and saying "Yes, I'm bad and blah blah." I shouldn't HAVE to tell you anything, not to mention the first secret is the one you hated most.
I would be with him if I could. I would run away and marry him and in love. Because I love him, as much as I did when I was fully in love with you. And HE treats me well, holy crap go figure! But he is my half-brother and I can't do anything to change that, I can't bear his children and it kills me sometimes.
You have to get over it, I wouldn't be fighting to get back together with you if I planned on spending my life with him. You are being vile and worse than I ever was. I may have slept with him but I didn't humiliate you. I never changed...I think you may have..and it scares me..
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
True Wife Confessions 212 Manhatten
Confession #2111
he's gone and that's good. you're here and that's better.
I used to think you were the shallow one--always cheery, never talking about anything deep or, to be honest, and I am, you're particularly interesting. 25 years later I know better. You've stayed through all sorts of bullshit, much of it you didn't know about, thank god I was never that stupid. I thought I didn't want to hurt you, turns out I was just canny about my own needs. You may not fill them all, but if you don't, I better find it in me. You're too good to cheat on again.
I gave into that "loved you since high school" line because, yeah, it was intense back then. But when I said, I can't leave no, not yet, he was gone to another woman within a month. Zoom. So much for LifeLongLove.
Now the only debate is who's more shallow, me? him? I don't deserve you but I'm not going to let that bother me unless I have the urge to start something again. I'll come over here and read this and think, yo, dudette, you're an idiot. It's not real. Happy guy in your bed every night who tells the same stale dumb jokes? the one who doesn't set you on fire? He's real.
PS I bet that's a Freudian slip, that "you're particularly interesting" when I meant to write "not particularly interesting."
You're snoring next to me in bed and after I hit send, I'll go shove you onto your side, which at least turns down the volume, and snuggle up behind you and feel blessed while I dose off.
I wish I could tell you some of this, but I consider the need for silence a perverse payment for my sins, snuggling with you and guilt in the same bed. You take up a lot more space and are warmer and a lot friendlier, usually.
I suspect you had an affair, too, a few years back--amazing how easy it is to do in these long term relationships--but by God, I don't want to know. I'm taking it from here and not turning into a pillar of salt, unless I have need to recall my own slip. Just one, mind you. So far. Forward, hark.
Confession #2112
So this guy I used to "date" emailed me today about how he put his picture up on "hot or not" dot com and was complaining about his less-than-great results, so of course, I had to visit the stupid website to try to find the photo in question. Meaning I had to go through a whole parade of mostly "not's" with a few "trying too hard's" and "gay's" and "you must be joking's" before I finally just asked him to send me the picture. And as I flipped through this sad, sad display, all I could think was--"damn, I'm glad I'm married."
And that my husband is definitely hot.
Confession #2113
Sometimes I look at our family and I wonder what it would be like if I
had never had kids with my ex. I know that my life would be far
different and most likely we never would have met. Having the girls
with him was one of the events that led to me moving here, you moved
here shortly afterward and with one wrong button click we found each
other. For just a few moments every once in awhile though I take the
girls and my ex and everything surrounding them and erase them from my
mind for just a bit and I sit back and imagine what it would be like
with just you, me and our baby. Still living in the same house, still
working the same jobs, still living in the same town, just with not as
many people, and it feels so good.. Then I feel guilty because I love
my kids with everything I have, all 3 of them. I would die to protect
them and I would kill to save them if i needed to, I would need no
prompting. It just feels so different to have a child with a man you
truly love, a man you trust to be just as good or better of a parent
then I am. A man that truly truly loves me for every single part of
me. I am glad my girls have you to call dad, I am glad that I get to
call you my husband.
I know you will know who I am once you read this and I love the fact
that you will come home after work and kiss me and hug me and tell me
that you love me and you know that I love my girls, you know I would
never give them up for anything and you understand what I am feeling
when I imagine my life without them in it. I can't ask for anything
more then a partner in my life who understands me mostly and strives to
understand me better all the time. I love you, thanks for all the back
scratches baby.
Confession #2114
This confession goes out to my ex-Dh's Third wife....
I'm sorry I met,fell in love and married him first..
I'm sorry you are so very insecure and immature of this fact.
I'm sorry you can't stand that after 9 years of marriage,and knowing each other since we were 16 years old,that we are great friends.
I'm sorry you are bitter and angry that every month since we have been divorced,He has paid his monthly child support.
I'm sorry your daddy only paid your mommy50 bucks in child support,so you feel your DH shouldn't pay for his children.
I'm sorry you can't understand the whole meaning of loving fathers helping in raising financially,and emotionally taking responsibility.
I'm sorry I thanked the lord for sending him a"good one",when all along you two faced and sneaky..
I'm sorry I invited you into my house thinking you were happy that we get along in raising healthy children,when you are pea green with envy.
I'm sorry you have nothing more productive in your life to do other than write nasty,and untrue things on th internet about your Dh's first wife,and children.
I'm sorry you most likely didn't get the whole truth about our divorce..
I'm sorry most of all you say you can't love our children because they are loyal and love their mother... so sad for you!
I'm sorry you are jealous of the time they are with their father,because they take up his attention and time away from you as you wrote on your blog..
I'm sorry and disappointed that you are not mature to handle a divorced man with children,and the child support eats you away every month!
Have a nice day Third wife!
Confession #2115
you keep asking me what has changed, and what is different, and I think I have finally figured it out.
I have given up-- I am letting go of my dream.
I always thought there was more TO you--- there was this brilliant, dependable person on the inside that would suddenly pop out one day.
Now, at almost 40, I think I have figured it out.
you are never going to hold a steady job.
you are never going to be a good father (or better father, in all fairness you are an ok father) to your son.
you are never going to be the spiritual head of our household.
you are never going to be "glass half full."
I will never truly be happy with you.
I never should have married you.
Marrying you has ruined any chances for true success for me.
I am a single parent, just with you here too.
you are stupid.
you are boring and predictable.
you are a weight around my ankle.
I always thought that there was more to you, but there isn't. THAT is what I have figured out. We don't have a bad life, but it isn't a great life either. it is a life of mediocrity.
Confession #2116
I spent 9 years with your abusive ass because I was to weak to leave
you. At least four times a week I wiped my just got done peeing vagina
on the shirts that you fucking insisted on leaving on the bathroom floor
daily. you know, the ones you then screamed at me for not picking up
before you got home from your oh so exhausting job? The best part of
the whole thing is when you would then put them on and wear them again
after my pee stains dried, I giggled every morning when you left for
work, after I breathed a sigh of relief at having you out of the house.
You never found out and two years later I still giggle about it.
Confession #2117
Would it kill you to have a conversation that didn't involve complaining about work and/or chores that need to be done? I'd like to talk about hopes, dreams, future plans, travel, past experiences, friends, books, movies, and maybe even a few philosophical ideas. When I try to tell you something you cut me off and make it about you you you.
Confession #2118
I don't want to be in a relationship with my ex
boyfriend anymore. We've been on and off over the past
3 years and each time we are "on," there's nothing
there but the sex. He cannot satisfy me outside the
bedroom. He ignores me in public, dismisses me in
conversations and generally treats me as if I'm
beneath him but he'll be all cuddly when he wants sex.
I won't hear from him unless he wants something. I
need to break this bad habit. I just wish I could tell
him this.
Confession #2119
You are away this weekend and I am glad...glad you are away from the bitch who has taken you from me. You are completely and totally miserable with her and yet you stay. Everyone notices the difference in your mood, your appearance, your stature..and it kills me. I miss the confident man I fell in love with. Yes being your friend and nothing else is very hard because I see how badly she treats you and I want to beat her face in.
I wish you would realize quickly that she doesn't really want you...she just doesn't want you with anyone else. She knows you were happy and HATED it because she is miserable. I don't think she can be anything but miserable. I am better looking than she is, not that it really matters just something I have observed from her picture.
Oh, and she has been stalking my myspace page. I am putting little things on there to drive crazy and wait for you to ask me about it. I won't tell you that I am doing it on purpose but I am.
Confession #2120
"Torn between two lovers..fellin like a fool..Loving both of u, is breaking all the rules..Oh how I totally get this song! I'm so confused. I know i have to choose between the both of u,but its so hard! U hav been my husband for seven yrs. After the divorce, i didnt think we would ever think of getting back. U have no idea how much u hurt me, now, u finally realise how much i meant to u. I know u really love me and i'm sure that u wont do what u did to hurt me again, but it's hard to love you the way I once did. The next thing is you are never around and i feel so lonely. I need a companion. Someone to come home to everyday, someone to take me out and enjoy spending time with. I know i could never get this from you because of your job. He is always there for me. He makes me happy. I'm not sure if he loves me as much as u do though,after all, we have only been dating eight months now. He knows about u and your intentions.I told him.I would never try to hide that from him.He wants me to make a decision. Its only fair.With u I know i will never have to worry about security and finance. I know if i got sick u will be here for me. I have no doubt that u love me, my doubt is within myself. I do love and care for u, but i'm not sure its the kind of love you are looking for in a wife. I dont know if i can allow my heart to love u like that anymore bec I have built a wall up to prevent getting hurt the way i did before. I do love him also, i love being around him. He makes my heart smile.I just melt in his arms and in his smile.He doesn't work for as much as u do..I know if I am with him he might not be able to give me the things you could but that doesn't bother me the least. I am afraid of what will happen in the future. What if he changes? What if things don't work out... He already told me that if i chose him, I could never talk to u again and u say the same. I don't know what to do.Someone plz help me..
he's gone and that's good. you're here and that's better.
I used to think you were the shallow one--always cheery, never talking about anything deep or, to be honest, and I am, you're particularly interesting. 25 years later I know better. You've stayed through all sorts of bullshit, much of it you didn't know about, thank god I was never that stupid. I thought I didn't want to hurt you, turns out I was just canny about my own needs. You may not fill them all, but if you don't, I better find it in me. You're too good to cheat on again.
I gave into that "loved you since high school" line because, yeah, it was intense back then. But when I said, I can't leave no, not yet, he was gone to another woman within a month. Zoom. So much for LifeLongLove.
Now the only debate is who's more shallow, me? him? I don't deserve you but I'm not going to let that bother me unless I have the urge to start something again. I'll come over here and read this and think, yo, dudette, you're an idiot. It's not real. Happy guy in your bed every night who tells the same stale dumb jokes? the one who doesn't set you on fire? He's real.
PS I bet that's a Freudian slip, that "you're particularly interesting" when I meant to write "not particularly interesting."
You're snoring next to me in bed and after I hit send, I'll go shove you onto your side, which at least turns down the volume, and snuggle up behind you and feel blessed while I dose off.
I wish I could tell you some of this, but I consider the need for silence a perverse payment for my sins, snuggling with you and guilt in the same bed. You take up a lot more space and are warmer and a lot friendlier, usually.
I suspect you had an affair, too, a few years back--amazing how easy it is to do in these long term relationships--but by God, I don't want to know. I'm taking it from here and not turning into a pillar of salt, unless I have need to recall my own slip. Just one, mind you. So far. Forward, hark.
Confession #2112
So this guy I used to "date" emailed me today about how he put his picture up on "hot or not" dot com and was complaining about his less-than-great results, so of course, I had to visit the stupid website to try to find the photo in question. Meaning I had to go through a whole parade of mostly "not's" with a few "trying too hard's" and "gay's" and "you must be joking's" before I finally just asked him to send me the picture. And as I flipped through this sad, sad display, all I could think was--"damn, I'm glad I'm married."
And that my husband is definitely hot.
Confession #2113
Sometimes I look at our family and I wonder what it would be like if I
had never had kids with my ex. I know that my life would be far
different and most likely we never would have met. Having the girls
with him was one of the events that led to me moving here, you moved
here shortly afterward and with one wrong button click we found each
other. For just a few moments every once in awhile though I take the
girls and my ex and everything surrounding them and erase them from my
mind for just a bit and I sit back and imagine what it would be like
with just you, me and our baby. Still living in the same house, still
working the same jobs, still living in the same town, just with not as
many people, and it feels so good.. Then I feel guilty because I love
my kids with everything I have, all 3 of them. I would die to protect
them and I would kill to save them if i needed to, I would need no
prompting. It just feels so different to have a child with a man you
truly love, a man you trust to be just as good or better of a parent
then I am. A man that truly truly loves me for every single part of
me. I am glad my girls have you to call dad, I am glad that I get to
call you my husband.
I know you will know who I am once you read this and I love the fact
that you will come home after work and kiss me and hug me and tell me
that you love me and you know that I love my girls, you know I would
never give them up for anything and you understand what I am feeling
when I imagine my life without them in it. I can't ask for anything
more then a partner in my life who understands me mostly and strives to
understand me better all the time. I love you, thanks for all the back
scratches baby.
Confession #2114
This confession goes out to my ex-Dh's Third wife....
I'm sorry I met,fell in love and married him first..
I'm sorry you are so very insecure and immature of this fact.
I'm sorry you can't stand that after 9 years of marriage,and knowing each other since we were 16 years old,that we are great friends.
I'm sorry you are bitter and angry that every month since we have been divorced,He has paid his monthly child support.
I'm sorry your daddy only paid your mommy50 bucks in child support,so you feel your DH shouldn't pay for his children.
I'm sorry you can't understand the whole meaning of loving fathers helping in raising financially,and emotionally taking responsibility.
I'm sorry I thanked the lord for sending him a"good one",when all along you two faced and sneaky..
I'm sorry I invited you into my house thinking you were happy that we get along in raising healthy children,when you are pea green with envy.
I'm sorry you have nothing more productive in your life to do other than write nasty,and untrue things on th internet about your Dh's first wife,and children.
I'm sorry you most likely didn't get the whole truth about our divorce..
I'm sorry most of all you say you can't love our children because they are loyal and love their mother... so sad for you!
I'm sorry you are jealous of the time they are with their father,because they take up his attention and time away from you as you wrote on your blog..
I'm sorry and disappointed that you are not mature to handle a divorced man with children,and the child support eats you away every month!
Have a nice day Third wife!
Confession #2115
you keep asking me what has changed, and what is different, and I think I have finally figured it out.
I have given up-- I am letting go of my dream.
I always thought there was more TO you--- there was this brilliant, dependable person on the inside that would suddenly pop out one day.
Now, at almost 40, I think I have figured it out.
you are never going to hold a steady job.
you are never going to be a good father (or better father, in all fairness you are an ok father) to your son.
you are never going to be the spiritual head of our household.
you are never going to be "glass half full."
I will never truly be happy with you.
I never should have married you.
Marrying you has ruined any chances for true success for me.
I am a single parent, just with you here too.
you are stupid.
you are boring and predictable.
you are a weight around my ankle.
I always thought that there was more to you, but there isn't. THAT is what I have figured out. We don't have a bad life, but it isn't a great life either. it is a life of mediocrity.
Confession #2116
I spent 9 years with your abusive ass because I was to weak to leave
you. At least four times a week I wiped my just got done peeing vagina
on the shirts that you fucking insisted on leaving on the bathroom floor
daily. you know, the ones you then screamed at me for not picking up
before you got home from your oh so exhausting job? The best part of
the whole thing is when you would then put them on and wear them again
after my pee stains dried, I giggled every morning when you left for
work, after I breathed a sigh of relief at having you out of the house.
You never found out and two years later I still giggle about it.
Confession #2117
Would it kill you to have a conversation that didn't involve complaining about work and/or chores that need to be done? I'd like to talk about hopes, dreams, future plans, travel, past experiences, friends, books, movies, and maybe even a few philosophical ideas. When I try to tell you something you cut me off and make it about you you you.
Confession #2118
I don't want to be in a relationship with my ex
boyfriend anymore. We've been on and off over the past
3 years and each time we are "on," there's nothing
there but the sex. He cannot satisfy me outside the
bedroom. He ignores me in public, dismisses me in
conversations and generally treats me as if I'm
beneath him but he'll be all cuddly when he wants sex.
I won't hear from him unless he wants something. I
need to break this bad habit. I just wish I could tell
him this.
Confession #2119
You are away this weekend and I am glad...glad you are away from the bitch who has taken you from me. You are completely and totally miserable with her and yet you stay. Everyone notices the difference in your mood, your appearance, your stature..and it kills me. I miss the confident man I fell in love with. Yes being your friend and nothing else is very hard because I see how badly she treats you and I want to beat her face in.
I wish you would realize quickly that she doesn't really want you...she just doesn't want you with anyone else. She knows you were happy and HATED it because she is miserable. I don't think she can be anything but miserable. I am better looking than she is, not that it really matters just something I have observed from her picture.
Oh, and she has been stalking my myspace page. I am putting little things on there to drive crazy and wait for you to ask me about it. I won't tell you that I am doing it on purpose but I am.
Confession #2120
"Torn between two lovers..fellin like a fool..Loving both of u, is breaking all the rules..Oh how I totally get this song! I'm so confused. I know i have to choose between the both of u,but its so hard! U hav been my husband for seven yrs. After the divorce, i didnt think we would ever think of getting back. U have no idea how much u hurt me, now, u finally realise how much i meant to u. I know u really love me and i'm sure that u wont do what u did to hurt me again, but it's hard to love you the way I once did. The next thing is you are never around and i feel so lonely. I need a companion. Someone to come home to everyday, someone to take me out and enjoy spending time with. I know i could never get this from you because of your job. He is always there for me. He makes me happy. I'm not sure if he loves me as much as u do though,after all, we have only been dating eight months now. He knows about u and your intentions.I told him.I would never try to hide that from him.He wants me to make a decision. Its only fair.With u I know i will never have to worry about security and finance. I know if i got sick u will be here for me. I have no doubt that u love me, my doubt is within myself. I do love and care for u, but i'm not sure its the kind of love you are looking for in a wife. I dont know if i can allow my heart to love u like that anymore bec I have built a wall up to prevent getting hurt the way i did before. I do love him also, i love being around him. He makes my heart smile.I just melt in his arms and in his smile.He doesn't work for as much as u do..I know if I am with him he might not be able to give me the things you could but that doesn't bother me the least. I am afraid of what will happen in the future. What if he changes? What if things don't work out... He already told me that if i chose him, I could never talk to u again and u say the same. I don't know what to do.Someone plz help me..
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
True Wife Confessions 211 Steel Reserve
Confession #2101
I HATE YOU, can't you see I want to be your wife? Why won't you even consider that after four years it is either we talk about getting married or we break up. I don't want to waste four more years with you. You wonder why I am happy one minute, then angry, then depressed, then crying. THIS IS KILLING ME, you are the one, why am I not the one?
Confession #2102
Your emails to your ex-husband depict yourself to be a rather jealous and bitter woman. Did you honestly think telling him about your sexual encounters would make him jealous? Do you think he was turned on about you joining some S&M group? It only convinced him how bi-polar you really are and how he made the right decision divorcing you. How do I know? He tells me everything whenever you send him a nasty email or call him to give him a hard time. I gotta thank you for doing so, for we have such great sex after laughing at your emails and I notice that he appreciates me more!
Confession #2103
We argued the other night .. it was bad. You're convinced that our little girl 'cries for no reason' because I baby her. I babied our son far more than you ever knew and he wasn't a crier. I think it's just the difference in kids and in genders. But when you BLAME me for it, that doesn't do anything to make you look good in my eyes. It makes angry and hurt. I cry about it because I'm so pissed off I want to kick your ass for saying things like that.
Oh ~ and you need to figure out if it's funny or not when I tickle your nipples. Sometimes you laugh at it and sometimes you get mad. The last time (same night as above) it made you mad and you screamed, cussed and said some horrible things to me.
And here's the Dali ... Women do NOT get their asses beat by their men because 'they run their fucking mouths and don't know when to shut the fuck up." They get hit by their men because their men are ASSHOLE COWARDS with other issues and not much intelligence.
I know as sure as I'm sitting here typing this that you were going to say: You make me want to punch you right in the mouth. You didn't .. you only said part of it. But here's the thing - if I "make" you feel that way than you don't have much self-control. Maybe you should work on that. 'K?
Confession #2104
"Grow up" what I feel to be your last words to me. I feel like being
with you did make me grow in many ways. Not ,maybe, in the way you
mean, but growth nonetheless. I learned alot from being with you. I
learned alot about myself, and not all of it is easy to admit to
myself. I am not a very nice person sometimes, I am childish, selfish,
and somewhat spoiled. I am also generous and forgiving, and weak. I
let you walk all over me, treat me like dirt. I was stood up, cancelled
on, kept waiting; I had promises broken, confidences betrayed, and I
forgave, I understood, I waited, I listened to new promises and shared
new confidences, always ready to believe you. Fool me once, shame on
you, fool me twice....
I have taken off my rose colored glasses, I see you for what you
are, not what I wanted you to be, not who I wanted you to be, just who
and what you are. You are not all bad or good, wrong or right, and
neither am I.
I will miss you, more as time goes by and the rose tint clouds my
memory again......
But for now, I agree with you, too much drama. Mine and yours. Mine
is thankfully under control, funny how alcohol can have such a negative
effect on people and situations, how caring can come across as anger.
Yours is different, understated maybe, but there. I hope you can find
what you want. I hope someday we can be friends. But someday may not
be in the near future. Yet somehow I think that if we ever reach that
point it will be hard fought and well worth having waited for.
Confession #2105
I know your ex girlfriend emailed you back. I know she sent a picture. HELLO? We share a computer! Did you think I would not see the pic of her that she sent?
I'm hurt that you never told me. I mean, really, I'm the one who told you to email her back when she contacted you to begin with. I'm hurt that you are hiding this from me and I don't know how to bring it up. Why can't you be honest with me about it?
If you're worried that I am jealous, trust me, NOTHING could be further from the truth. She looks like a 50 year old grandmother with a bad poodle perm. I know I am hotter than she is and always will be. I also know that you would never take her back after all the things she did to you. I also know that you know that this, us, our marriage, is the best thing to ever happen to BOTH of us and we're a team.
I admit, I want you to mention the picture so I can openly gloat. What did you see in her?
Confession #2106
I was lying still in a darkened bedroom at 11 o'clock at night. You walked in, nudged me, and asked "are you going to sleep?" No, I'm mowing the lawn, dumbass. And you wonder why I'm so moody and cranky all the time.
Confession #2107
I'm starting to hate your step mother.
Some grandparent she's turning out to be.
Selfish, bitch!
Confession #2108
To my husband:
We are coming up on our 10th anniversary and I don't know if I want to celebrate or run away. I have been so patient after all these years, hoping you would change a little - meet me halfway - to make our marriage stronger. To my disappointment, you have not changed much. You are still smoking, unromantic, unhelpful with household chores, selfish, and rude. I am so very tired of fighting over your ashtray breath and lazy, selfish ways. I really wish you would try to change some of these things for the sake of our family. Don't think I won't leave you because I can and I will. I know we have two small children but what difference will it really make if we aren't together? You only see them for a few minutes every night anyway, sometimes not at all because your work comes first.
I hope you will see what you have before you lose us. I am only still here because I want us to work out so badly. When I married you, I said for better or for worse and I take that seriously. However, everyone has a limit and I'm reaching mine. Please listen to what I'm saying and work on becoming a better husband and father. Your children and I need you and want you to be a part of our lives but if you refuse to change, even a little, our days together as a family will be numbered. I simply cannot go on living an unsatisfied life with you. I know that marriage should not be this hard and the kids and I deserve a better life.
Confession #2109
We've been together for 5 years, married for 3 and I can't be with you
anymore. I accepted your cheating on me with your sons mother,
abandoning me while I was pregnant for a week while you hung out in
another state. I've put up with you hitting me and belittling me in
front of our daughter. And while you continue to disrespect me and treat
me like gum under your shoe, I found love in the arms of my co worker. I
am about to leave my job for a better one, and once my money is saved up
I'm leaving you because I want to raise our daughter alone and teach her
that she is strong and I don't want her to see the way you treat me
anymore. I never want to be married again and I just want to be the
person my mother raised me to be, independent.
Confession #2110
My fantasy is to leave you home alone with the kids for 2 weeks so after I
come back home you would appreciate me more. I would go on a cruise and
drink lots of frilly drinks and get massages every day and lay in a deck
chair and read in the afternoons. But I know in real life I would hate
going on a cruise without you and I would miss the kids terribly.
I HATE YOU, can't you see I want to be your wife? Why won't you even consider that after four years it is either we talk about getting married or we break up. I don't want to waste four more years with you. You wonder why I am happy one minute, then angry, then depressed, then crying. THIS IS KILLING ME, you are the one, why am I not the one?
Confession #2102
Your emails to your ex-husband depict yourself to be a rather jealous and bitter woman. Did you honestly think telling him about your sexual encounters would make him jealous? Do you think he was turned on about you joining some S&M group? It only convinced him how bi-polar you really are and how he made the right decision divorcing you. How do I know? He tells me everything whenever you send him a nasty email or call him to give him a hard time. I gotta thank you for doing so, for we have such great sex after laughing at your emails and I notice that he appreciates me more!
Confession #2103
We argued the other night .. it was bad. You're convinced that our little girl 'cries for no reason' because I baby her. I babied our son far more than you ever knew and he wasn't a crier. I think it's just the difference in kids and in genders. But when you BLAME me for it, that doesn't do anything to make you look good in my eyes. It makes angry and hurt. I cry about it because I'm so pissed off I want to kick your ass for saying things like that.
Oh ~ and you need to figure out if it's funny or not when I tickle your nipples. Sometimes you laugh at it and sometimes you get mad. The last time (same night as above) it made you mad and you screamed, cussed and said some horrible things to me.
And here's the Dali ... Women do NOT get their asses beat by their men because 'they run their fucking mouths and don't know when to shut the fuck up." They get hit by their men because their men are ASSHOLE COWARDS with other issues and not much intelligence.
I know as sure as I'm sitting here typing this that you were going to say: You make me want to punch you right in the mouth. You didn't .. you only said part of it. But here's the thing - if I "make" you feel that way than you don't have much self-control. Maybe you should work on that. 'K?
Confession #2104
"Grow up" what I feel to be your last words to me. I feel like being
with you did make me grow in many ways. Not ,maybe, in the way you
mean, but growth nonetheless. I learned alot from being with you. I
learned alot about myself, and not all of it is easy to admit to
myself. I am not a very nice person sometimes, I am childish, selfish,
and somewhat spoiled. I am also generous and forgiving, and weak. I
let you walk all over me, treat me like dirt. I was stood up, cancelled
on, kept waiting; I had promises broken, confidences betrayed, and I
forgave, I understood, I waited, I listened to new promises and shared
new confidences, always ready to believe you. Fool me once, shame on
you, fool me twice....
I have taken off my rose colored glasses, I see you for what you
are, not what I wanted you to be, not who I wanted you to be, just who
and what you are. You are not all bad or good, wrong or right, and
neither am I.
I will miss you, more as time goes by and the rose tint clouds my
memory again......
But for now, I agree with you, too much drama. Mine and yours. Mine
is thankfully under control, funny how alcohol can have such a negative
effect on people and situations, how caring can come across as anger.
Yours is different, understated maybe, but there. I hope you can find
what you want. I hope someday we can be friends. But someday may not
be in the near future. Yet somehow I think that if we ever reach that
point it will be hard fought and well worth having waited for.
Confession #2105
I know your ex girlfriend emailed you back. I know she sent a picture. HELLO? We share a computer! Did you think I would not see the pic of her that she sent?
I'm hurt that you never told me. I mean, really, I'm the one who told you to email her back when she contacted you to begin with. I'm hurt that you are hiding this from me and I don't know how to bring it up. Why can't you be honest with me about it?
If you're worried that I am jealous, trust me, NOTHING could be further from the truth. She looks like a 50 year old grandmother with a bad poodle perm. I know I am hotter than she is and always will be. I also know that you would never take her back after all the things she did to you. I also know that you know that this, us, our marriage, is the best thing to ever happen to BOTH of us and we're a team.
I admit, I want you to mention the picture so I can openly gloat. What did you see in her?
Confession #2106
I was lying still in a darkened bedroom at 11 o'clock at night. You walked in, nudged me, and asked "are you going to sleep?" No, I'm mowing the lawn, dumbass. And you wonder why I'm so moody and cranky all the time.
Confession #2107
I'm starting to hate your step mother.
Some grandparent she's turning out to be.
Selfish, bitch!
Confession #2108
To my husband:
We are coming up on our 10th anniversary and I don't know if I want to celebrate or run away. I have been so patient after all these years, hoping you would change a little - meet me halfway - to make our marriage stronger. To my disappointment, you have not changed much. You are still smoking, unromantic, unhelpful with household chores, selfish, and rude. I am so very tired of fighting over your ashtray breath and lazy, selfish ways. I really wish you would try to change some of these things for the sake of our family. Don't think I won't leave you because I can and I will. I know we have two small children but what difference will it really make if we aren't together? You only see them for a few minutes every night anyway, sometimes not at all because your work comes first.
I hope you will see what you have before you lose us. I am only still here because I want us to work out so badly. When I married you, I said for better or for worse and I take that seriously. However, everyone has a limit and I'm reaching mine. Please listen to what I'm saying and work on becoming a better husband and father. Your children and I need you and want you to be a part of our lives but if you refuse to change, even a little, our days together as a family will be numbered. I simply cannot go on living an unsatisfied life with you. I know that marriage should not be this hard and the kids and I deserve a better life.
Confession #2109
We've been together for 5 years, married for 3 and I can't be with you
anymore. I accepted your cheating on me with your sons mother,
abandoning me while I was pregnant for a week while you hung out in
another state. I've put up with you hitting me and belittling me in
front of our daughter. And while you continue to disrespect me and treat
me like gum under your shoe, I found love in the arms of my co worker. I
am about to leave my job for a better one, and once my money is saved up
I'm leaving you because I want to raise our daughter alone and teach her
that she is strong and I don't want her to see the way you treat me
anymore. I never want to be married again and I just want to be the
person my mother raised me to be, independent.
Confession #2110
My fantasy is to leave you home alone with the kids for 2 weeks so after I
come back home you would appreciate me more. I would go on a cruise and
drink lots of frilly drinks and get massages every day and lay in a deck
chair and read in the afternoons. But I know in real life I would hate
going on a cruise without you and I would miss the kids terribly.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
True Wife Confessions 210 - the year the Romans make peace with the Scots
Confession #2091
Thank you, sweetie, for everything. I would never have gone back to school,
I would never have found my calling, I would never have found love without
you. I love your child, and my child, and the family that we make up (as
dysfunctional as it can be occasionally) and I love the past that we have.
I love the way that you make me laugh. I love that you don't want me to be
submissive, or smaller than I really am, or anything other than what I
really am. Thank you for helping me find what and who I really am.
I love you.
Confession #2092
You don't want the pooch on the furniture, but every morning right after you leave for work, the dog jumps up on the bed with me. I make sure there's no hair on your side, but we're talking every day for years. And she knows your car and footstep--as soon as she hears either approaching, she's off the bed or couch or chair.
The kids and I have tried to imitate your footstep, just to see if she can be fooled. Nope. She only bolts when it's really you. Hey, I'm a little sorry that the kids are being taught to lie to their dad, sort of. I know it's bad we don't respect your desire in this matter, bad that the three kids and I know the truth about the dog's bad habits and you don't. But I do love having that dog snuggled against me while I work. I even do my work on the couch so she can rest her head on my lap.
Confession #2093
I am truly sick and tired of dealing with your depression. Especially
since you really aren't dealing with it in a constructive way. Sleeping
16+hours a day isn't *dealing* - it is avoiding. I want a life again, I
can't and won't sit around and watch you sleep anymore - I was up for 5
hours before you woke up yesterday morning (noon), you were awake for
all of 5 minutes and then you went back to sleep.
I can't take it anymore. I was putting on my makeup when you came into
the bathroom - you realized I was upset. I told you, while crying, that
you really hurt my feelings that you would rather sleep than spend any
time with me. Do you have any idea how badly I felt about myself all
day yesterday??? You had the nerve to say that you didn't *choose* to
sleep this much it just happens. Well, it has been happening for over 9
months - I can't take much more. I love you but I'm dying inside and
what I feel for you is dying as well. I am lonelier now than when I was
single. I am going to start planning my weekends again, like I did
before we met. I spent 15 years as a single mother - I wasn't always
ecstatic but hell, it was wayyyy better than this! At least I was
participating in life and doing things that I enjoy.
I HAVE TO HAVE A LIFE! If you would rather sleep your life away, that
is up to you. I will not sit by and watch you sleep anymore.
Confession #2094
You have told me for years that you planned on divorcing me. I used to cry and get upset and tell you not to joke about that - it wasn't funny and it hurt my feelings. Then, I simply accepted it. After so many years of having you introduce me as "your first wife", or talk about when you divorce me...I just realized you must be serious. So, I began to withdraw. Plan my life without you. And I too began to joke about when we get divorced.
This weekend you came to me and told me how infuriated it makes you when I talk about us getting divorced.
Really? I think I said the same thing about 13 years ago to you. Your actions have deadened me.
Confession #2095
I know we are not going to make it. We just got married and I can see the end coming. I know you love me, and I love you more than ever. I was so happy when you went into treatment for your drinking. I truly believed that it was a step in the right direction for us. I missed you like crazy while you were gone, but now that you are home, I am totally miserable.
You have questioned EVERYTHING that the kids and I have done!! You weren't here, it didn't get done just like you would have done it, but GET OVER IT!!! I busted my butt every single day you were gone, and to know that it's not appreciated or even acknowledged is a total slap in the face!! Just think, you can't even handle the house and kids for one afternoon if I need to go somewhere. I get 5 or 6 calls asking about something totally stupid. You try dealing with a job, house, dogs, 5 kids, school, dance, scouts, grocery shopping, paying bills, yardwork all by yourself for 28 days!! Not to mention coming up to see you every single weekend so that you truly saw that I was behind you 100%.
I am thrilled that you are sober; your sons need a Dad that will be around for a long time. But unless you agree to work on the rest of our problems, I am leaving in 3 months. I refuse to be miserable for the rest of my life. Sorry it's gotta come down to this, but I can't take any more!!!
I love you!
Confession #2096
I'm sorry I have gained so much weight. I gained 100 lbs. while pregnant, and haven't lost all of it yet even though the baby is a year old now. I am disgusting to myself, so I know why you don't act like you used to around me. I'm trying though - I've lost 10 pounds this month. I try my best to be a good wife and mother, and not to complain about anything you do. You used to feel like you weren't good enough for me, even though I never thought that....and now I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I hope you can wait for me to get back to my old self. I love you and the baby more than anything, and sometimes I'm so happy - when she's laughing and you're laughing with her - that I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest. It seems like eventually in life...sometimes slowly...you lose everything...family members die...friends leave...looks fade....I just want to hold on to our family as long as I can. Wait for me baby.
Confession #2097
Hey babe,
You're not so bad, but your friends are totally creepy. A woman just
knows. Those guys are bad news. Sorry I don't like them. They are
potential rapists and child molesters. You're better than them.
Confession #2098
You are a good husband. A great dad. You put up with my shit. You support me. You are a friend. But he makes me feel like an absolute goddess. He wants me in a way you never did. I want him in a way I've never wanted before. I hunger for him day and night and he hungers for me. He is rough when I need him to be. He is gentle and loving and writes me poem and songs. He says he loves me and I walk on air for hours. I have no plans to leave you for him and I don't know where this is going....but I have no inclination or power to stop it. If it weren't for our daughter I would run away with him. To Greece. Anywhere.
Last week we made love without a condom and said he likes the idea of me having his baby. Secretly I do too.
The weight I lost was for him.
When you ask me if something is wrong, and I say "no" I am really missing him.
The smile you catch on my face sometimes is a memory of the last time he and I made love.
That bruise on my thigh was from his hands. I would sometimes press on it to remember how his hands felt on me.
I know I have a pathological need to be loved. I know I need to feel sexy. He gives me that.
I don't even feel bad. I deserve some happiness because I am so, so unhappy sometimes and all the pills in the world don't make me feel the way he does when he kisses me hard, bites my lip, holds my face and says "I love you."
I deserve that.
Confession #2099
Sometimes I think I should have married someone more like me. Someone who has a college degree and wears a tie to work instead of coveralls. Someone who would love to take me to dinner theaters and fancy charity fund raisers instead of the closest karaoke bar or the dirt track races. We were engaged for 2 years while I finished college and I never questioned if you were the right one for me to marry, now we've been married 7 years and I can't help but think I sold out to the first guy who offered me a ring. It's not that I don't love you, I really do. But we are very different people in a lot of ways and I hope our relationship will survive these differences...
Confession #2100
Love is a Drug
Oh the feelings! The exhilaration of falling in love. It truly can be a blinding experience. My name is (fill in the blank) and I am a love junkie. Falling in love releases "feel good" chemicals in my brain. My system becomes filled with endorphins, my world seems brighter, more colorful, more exciting!
When I met you there were plenty of red flags a-flyin', warning warning warning. But with the blinders in place, I went ahead and fell in love anyway.
I refused to question anything you told me. As time unfolded, it became harder for you to keep all the lies straight and so I learned, over time, to take everything and anything you told me with the proverbial grain of salt. Today you could tell me the sky is blue and I would have to see it for myself before I would believe you.
I want to list the ways that I used love as a drug.
Go back and read the paragraph above.
Refusing to heed the warning signs.
Rationalizing and justifying certain actions in my brain.
Believing that love conquers all.
Naively thinking that if I loved you enough, we could get through any turmoil.
Believing that I could change you by example.
Allowing myself to be controlled by you, so as not to upset the apple cart.
Lowering my standard of conduct and doing things that felt wrong to me.
Aggressively asserting my way of life on you, living under the illusion that I had any type of control over you.
Living in denial.
Oh yes, love is a drug. Sometimes I think that life would be so much easier if I were living alone. That then I would only have myself to worry about, that my life, my feelings, my worth, my happiness would not be dependent on what you are doing or not doing.
And then I remember talking to a counselor several years ago and admitting to this person that if I got out of the relationship with you, that I would probably go right back out and start hunting for another love relationship, undoubtedly going through the same motions and emotions again, looking to someone outside of myself to "fix" me or someone that I could "fix." And remembering the words from the counselor, telling me that I should look inside myself and figure out why I feared being alone, why I felt such an urgent need to be with somebody else in order to feel whole.
So I have decided to take stock in the relationship I have now. Hey, it's familiar, I've gotten somewhat used to the ups and downs, the roller coaster ride so to speak.
It's time to hunker down and see what needs fixing in me. Believe it or not, I still love you. And I can appreciate the lessons that I've learned from this relationship. So join me on this ride, or don't
Thank you, sweetie, for everything. I would never have gone back to school,
I would never have found my calling, I would never have found love without
you. I love your child, and my child, and the family that we make up (as
dysfunctional as it can be occasionally) and I love the past that we have.
I love the way that you make me laugh. I love that you don't want me to be
submissive, or smaller than I really am, or anything other than what I
really am. Thank you for helping me find what and who I really am.
I love you.
Confession #2092
You don't want the pooch on the furniture, but every morning right after you leave for work, the dog jumps up on the bed with me. I make sure there's no hair on your side, but we're talking every day for years. And she knows your car and footstep--as soon as she hears either approaching, she's off the bed or couch or chair.
The kids and I have tried to imitate your footstep, just to see if she can be fooled. Nope. She only bolts when it's really you. Hey, I'm a little sorry that the kids are being taught to lie to their dad, sort of. I know it's bad we don't respect your desire in this matter, bad that the three kids and I know the truth about the dog's bad habits and you don't. But I do love having that dog snuggled against me while I work. I even do my work on the couch so she can rest her head on my lap.
Confession #2093
I am truly sick and tired of dealing with your depression. Especially
since you really aren't dealing with it in a constructive way. Sleeping
16+hours a day isn't *dealing* - it is avoiding. I want a life again, I
can't and won't sit around and watch you sleep anymore - I was up for 5
hours before you woke up yesterday morning (noon), you were awake for
all of 5 minutes and then you went back to sleep.
I can't take it anymore. I was putting on my makeup when you came into
the bathroom - you realized I was upset. I told you, while crying, that
you really hurt my feelings that you would rather sleep than spend any
time with me. Do you have any idea how badly I felt about myself all
day yesterday??? You had the nerve to say that you didn't *choose* to
sleep this much it just happens. Well, it has been happening for over 9
months - I can't take much more. I love you but I'm dying inside and
what I feel for you is dying as well. I am lonelier now than when I was
single. I am going to start planning my weekends again, like I did
before we met. I spent 15 years as a single mother - I wasn't always
ecstatic but hell, it was wayyyy better than this! At least I was
participating in life and doing things that I enjoy.
I HAVE TO HAVE A LIFE! If you would rather sleep your life away, that
is up to you. I will not sit by and watch you sleep anymore.
Confession #2094
You have told me for years that you planned on divorcing me. I used to cry and get upset and tell you not to joke about that - it wasn't funny and it hurt my feelings. Then, I simply accepted it. After so many years of having you introduce me as "your first wife", or talk about when you divorce me...I just realized you must be serious. So, I began to withdraw. Plan my life without you. And I too began to joke about when we get divorced.
This weekend you came to me and told me how infuriated it makes you when I talk about us getting divorced.
Really? I think I said the same thing about 13 years ago to you. Your actions have deadened me.
Confession #2095
I know we are not going to make it. We just got married and I can see the end coming. I know you love me, and I love you more than ever. I was so happy when you went into treatment for your drinking. I truly believed that it was a step in the right direction for us. I missed you like crazy while you were gone, but now that you are home, I am totally miserable.
You have questioned EVERYTHING that the kids and I have done!! You weren't here, it didn't get done just like you would have done it, but GET OVER IT!!! I busted my butt every single day you were gone, and to know that it's not appreciated or even acknowledged is a total slap in the face!! Just think, you can't even handle the house and kids for one afternoon if I need to go somewhere. I get 5 or 6 calls asking about something totally stupid. You try dealing with a job, house, dogs, 5 kids, school, dance, scouts, grocery shopping, paying bills, yardwork all by yourself for 28 days!! Not to mention coming up to see you every single weekend so that you truly saw that I was behind you 100%.
I am thrilled that you are sober; your sons need a Dad that will be around for a long time. But unless you agree to work on the rest of our problems, I am leaving in 3 months. I refuse to be miserable for the rest of my life. Sorry it's gotta come down to this, but I can't take any more!!!
I love you!
Confession #2096
I'm sorry I have gained so much weight. I gained 100 lbs. while pregnant, and haven't lost all of it yet even though the baby is a year old now. I am disgusting to myself, so I know why you don't act like you used to around me. I'm trying though - I've lost 10 pounds this month. I try my best to be a good wife and mother, and not to complain about anything you do. You used to feel like you weren't good enough for me, even though I never thought that....and now I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I hope you can wait for me to get back to my old self. I love you and the baby more than anything, and sometimes I'm so happy - when she's laughing and you're laughing with her - that I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest. It seems like eventually in life...sometimes slowly...you lose everything...family members die...friends leave...looks fade....I just want to hold on to our family as long as I can. Wait for me baby.
Confession #2097
Hey babe,
You're not so bad, but your friends are totally creepy. A woman just
knows. Those guys are bad news. Sorry I don't like them. They are
potential rapists and child molesters. You're better than them.
Confession #2098
You are a good husband. A great dad. You put up with my shit. You support me. You are a friend. But he makes me feel like an absolute goddess. He wants me in a way you never did. I want him in a way I've never wanted before. I hunger for him day and night and he hungers for me. He is rough when I need him to be. He is gentle and loving and writes me poem and songs. He says he loves me and I walk on air for hours. I have no plans to leave you for him and I don't know where this is going....but I have no inclination or power to stop it. If it weren't for our daughter I would run away with him. To Greece. Anywhere.
Last week we made love without a condom and said he likes the idea of me having his baby. Secretly I do too.
The weight I lost was for him.
When you ask me if something is wrong, and I say "no" I am really missing him.
The smile you catch on my face sometimes is a memory of the last time he and I made love.
That bruise on my thigh was from his hands. I would sometimes press on it to remember how his hands felt on me.
I know I have a pathological need to be loved. I know I need to feel sexy. He gives me that.
I don't even feel bad. I deserve some happiness because I am so, so unhappy sometimes and all the pills in the world don't make me feel the way he does when he kisses me hard, bites my lip, holds my face and says "I love you."
I deserve that.
Confession #2099
Sometimes I think I should have married someone more like me. Someone who has a college degree and wears a tie to work instead of coveralls. Someone who would love to take me to dinner theaters and fancy charity fund raisers instead of the closest karaoke bar or the dirt track races. We were engaged for 2 years while I finished college and I never questioned if you were the right one for me to marry, now we've been married 7 years and I can't help but think I sold out to the first guy who offered me a ring. It's not that I don't love you, I really do. But we are very different people in a lot of ways and I hope our relationship will survive these differences...
Confession #2100
Love is a Drug
Oh the feelings! The exhilaration of falling in love. It truly can be a blinding experience. My name is (fill in the blank) and I am a love junkie. Falling in love releases "feel good" chemicals in my brain. My system becomes filled with endorphins, my world seems brighter, more colorful, more exciting!
When I met you there were plenty of red flags a-flyin', warning warning warning. But with the blinders in place, I went ahead and fell in love anyway.
I refused to question anything you told me. As time unfolded, it became harder for you to keep all the lies straight and so I learned, over time, to take everything and anything you told me with the proverbial grain of salt. Today you could tell me the sky is blue and I would have to see it for myself before I would believe you.
I want to list the ways that I used love as a drug.
Go back and read the paragraph above.
Refusing to heed the warning signs.
Rationalizing and justifying certain actions in my brain.
Believing that love conquers all.
Naively thinking that if I loved you enough, we could get through any turmoil.
Believing that I could change you by example.
Allowing myself to be controlled by you, so as not to upset the apple cart.
Lowering my standard of conduct and doing things that felt wrong to me.
Aggressively asserting my way of life on you, living under the illusion that I had any type of control over you.
Living in denial.
Oh yes, love is a drug. Sometimes I think that life would be so much easier if I were living alone. That then I would only have myself to worry about, that my life, my feelings, my worth, my happiness would not be dependent on what you are doing or not doing.
And then I remember talking to a counselor several years ago and admitting to this person that if I got out of the relationship with you, that I would probably go right back out and start hunting for another love relationship, undoubtedly going through the same motions and emotions again, looking to someone outside of myself to "fix" me or someone that I could "fix." And remembering the words from the counselor, telling me that I should look inside myself and figure out why I feared being alone, why I felt such an urgent need to be with somebody else in order to feel whole.
So I have decided to take stock in the relationship I have now. Hey, it's familiar, I've gotten somewhat used to the ups and downs, the roller coaster ride so to speak.
It's time to hunker down and see what needs fixing in me. Believe it or not, I still love you. And I can appreciate the lessons that I've learned from this relationship. So join me on this ride, or don't
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
True Wife Confessions 209 songs on my mini ipod
Confession #2081
I strongly dislike your feet. The rest of you is nice, but your feet are disgusting.
Confession #2082
I'm very angry at you but I can't tell you yet. If I did, I'd tell you I want out of this marriage because you are a huge, demanding, whiny pain in the ass who can't see anything from any point of view but his own.
I want to get over feeling like that before I bring up what's wrong. I mean, besides your self-centered pain-in-the-assness.
Confession #2083
Seriously....you created a yahoo account with a benign name so you could respond to women for sex on craigslist (this, after getting nowhere with those sleazy on line dating sites--yes I know all about them). Then you left some parts of the new yahoo mail in history (you thought you were careful enough with deleting) so I could see the new email address. You also used the same password you use for EVERYTHING so I can sign in to your email. Oh, and you think you're being so smart by only sending a "body shot" (no face) of you to these women......you are so freaking stupid - your FIRST AND LAST NAME is on your email address!! Do you know that??? I don't know whether to keep letting you go on with this or do something about it - do you realize all of these craigslist women are hookers??? I always knew I was the smart one, but c'mon..... If you DO something and get CAUGHT with a HOOKER, you could ruin our family.
Why have I done nothing about this so far? I'm seeing just how far you will go. And, also, I'm in love with someone else. We are SO fucked up and nobody would ever guess it from our upper class suburban life :(.
Confession #2084
I am so much happier with your son out of the picture. I didn't always feel that way, but this year has been absolute hell thanks to his uncontrollable bitch of a mother and the way she has ruined him. I am terrified that he (or his mom, just as bad) will call because no good can come of it. First, he'll give you some garbage about what a terrible dad you are and then she'll get on the phone and spout some BS. You'll hate her, hate yourself, not talk to me and then get mad at ME. Even though I did nothing wrong, at all.
I've been around since he was 3 years old. We took him on almost every vacation we've ever been on, including our honeymoon. I never ever resented him until all this happened. I don't know how to fix any of it. I love your son and if he could treat you with respect (even a 13 year old is capable of it) I would love to have him back in our life. Until this year, he was an awesome boy who I was proud of. Smart, funny, caring, helpful. His mother squeezed all the good qualities out of him and now he only has manipulation and vitriol. Everyone says that he'll change and see what a fucked up mess his mother is, but I don't believe it. Manipulative adults were once manipulative children.
Confession #2085
As we have grown older, I have made a serious attempt to mature in how I behave when we argue. I try to stick to the topic at hand, avoid cussing (very difficult for me and my potty mouth), and use those "I" statements everyone has heard about. Meanwhile, you have regressed. You make personal attacks, you pick on my weaknesses, and you cuss. Every time you do it, it makes me hold just a little more back from you, it makes me build up a little more of a wall between you and my heart, and it makes me love you just a tiny bit less. Is that really what you want? Is it really worth it? You might want to think about that.
Confession #2086
If I find your cigarettes I throw them away and hope with all my heart you
won't buy another pack.
Confession #2087
This one goes out to my soon to be ex husband:
You're not a good father. You were okay when we were together, but
deciding to stay in Texas after the baby and I moved to California
(where you were supposed to meet us two weeks later) makes you a bad
one. To me, the first requirement of parenthood is being there. If you
aren't in your kid's life, at least in the same zip code, you're not
fulfilling that requirement. Calling me and saying that you're going
to be in a town 10 hours away in a week does not count as an attempt
to see your kid. Text messaging her (she's two, retard) to say I love
you means nothing. If she hears me read that message, she hears my
voice saying, "I love you". If you call her, she hears your voice.
A real parent finds a way, makes it happen. A good father would never
go months without seeing his baby.
Confession #2088
Dear M;
I died a little bit the day you signed your rights away to our daughter. I don't think that part of me will ever come back.
Confession #2089
I know that you make more money than I do, but I took a job that paid less so that I could be around for our child. Stop punishing me for it. I do not think it is out of line for me to expect your help with a few things around the house. When I ask, do not belittle me, do not threaten me, do not throw a temper tantrum. You are nearly 40; it is well past time for you to grow up. A little laundry or a few dishes are not going to kill you. There is just no way that I can do it all by myself and I am not going to try and kill myself anymore to do it. So either help out or shut the f*@#k up when the house isn’t perfect.
Confession #2090
I don't know what it is about you keeps me wanting you more. The sex is great! I enjoy every minute of it, but is that all to it? What about you? Is it that you truly love me or is it the sex? I know u care for me, this i am sure of but when it comes to love, hmm, I'm not too sure. There is a fine line between love and lust and I think we are caught somewhere in between
I strongly dislike your feet. The rest of you is nice, but your feet are disgusting.
Confession #2082
I'm very angry at you but I can't tell you yet. If I did, I'd tell you I want out of this marriage because you are a huge, demanding, whiny pain in the ass who can't see anything from any point of view but his own.
I want to get over feeling like that before I bring up what's wrong. I mean, besides your self-centered pain-in-the-assness.
Confession #2083
Seriously....you created a yahoo account with a benign name so you could respond to women for sex on craigslist (this, after getting nowhere with those sleazy on line dating sites--yes I know all about them). Then you left some parts of the new yahoo mail in history (you thought you were careful enough with deleting) so I could see the new email address. You also used the same password you use for EVERYTHING so I can sign in to your email. Oh, and you think you're being so smart by only sending a "body shot" (no face) of you to these women......you are so freaking stupid - your FIRST AND LAST NAME is on your email address!! Do you know that??? I don't know whether to keep letting you go on with this or do something about it - do you realize all of these craigslist women are hookers??? I always knew I was the smart one, but c'mon..... If you DO something and get CAUGHT with a HOOKER, you could ruin our family.
Why have I done nothing about this so far? I'm seeing just how far you will go. And, also, I'm in love with someone else. We are SO fucked up and nobody would ever guess it from our upper class suburban life :(.
Confession #2084
I am so much happier with your son out of the picture. I didn't always feel that way, but this year has been absolute hell thanks to his uncontrollable bitch of a mother and the way she has ruined him. I am terrified that he (or his mom, just as bad) will call because no good can come of it. First, he'll give you some garbage about what a terrible dad you are and then she'll get on the phone and spout some BS. You'll hate her, hate yourself, not talk to me and then get mad at ME. Even though I did nothing wrong, at all.
I've been around since he was 3 years old. We took him on almost every vacation we've ever been on, including our honeymoon. I never ever resented him until all this happened. I don't know how to fix any of it. I love your son and if he could treat you with respect (even a 13 year old is capable of it) I would love to have him back in our life. Until this year, he was an awesome boy who I was proud of. Smart, funny, caring, helpful. His mother squeezed all the good qualities out of him and now he only has manipulation and vitriol. Everyone says that he'll change and see what a fucked up mess his mother is, but I don't believe it. Manipulative adults were once manipulative children.
Confession #2085
As we have grown older, I have made a serious attempt to mature in how I behave when we argue. I try to stick to the topic at hand, avoid cussing (very difficult for me and my potty mouth), and use those "I" statements everyone has heard about. Meanwhile, you have regressed. You make personal attacks, you pick on my weaknesses, and you cuss. Every time you do it, it makes me hold just a little more back from you, it makes me build up a little more of a wall between you and my heart, and it makes me love you just a tiny bit less. Is that really what you want? Is it really worth it? You might want to think about that.
Confession #2086
If I find your cigarettes I throw them away and hope with all my heart you
won't buy another pack.
Confession #2087
This one goes out to my soon to be ex husband:
You're not a good father. You were okay when we were together, but
deciding to stay in Texas after the baby and I moved to California
(where you were supposed to meet us two weeks later) makes you a bad
one. To me, the first requirement of parenthood is being there. If you
aren't in your kid's life, at least in the same zip code, you're not
fulfilling that requirement. Calling me and saying that you're going
to be in a town 10 hours away in a week does not count as an attempt
to see your kid. Text messaging her (she's two, retard) to say I love
you means nothing. If she hears me read that message, she hears my
voice saying, "I love you". If you call her, she hears your voice.
A real parent finds a way, makes it happen. A good father would never
go months without seeing his baby.
Confession #2088
Dear M;
I died a little bit the day you signed your rights away to our daughter. I don't think that part of me will ever come back.
Confession #2089
I know that you make more money than I do, but I took a job that paid less so that I could be around for our child. Stop punishing me for it. I do not think it is out of line for me to expect your help with a few things around the house. When I ask, do not belittle me, do not threaten me, do not throw a temper tantrum. You are nearly 40; it is well past time for you to grow up. A little laundry or a few dishes are not going to kill you. There is just no way that I can do it all by myself and I am not going to try and kill myself anymore to do it. So either help out or shut the f*@#k up when the house isn’t perfect.
Confession #2090
I don't know what it is about you keeps me wanting you more. The sex is great! I enjoy every minute of it, but is that all to it? What about you? Is it that you truly love me or is it the sex? I know u care for me, this i am sure of but when it comes to love, hmm, I'm not too sure. There is a fine line between love and lust and I think we are caught somewhere in between
Thursday, September 13, 2007
True Wife Confessions 208 Radio Radio Luxembourg
Confession #2071
Last week when we were joking around you said that you wouldn't get married again if something happened to me because you thought maybe you weren't meant to be married and we both laughed like you'd made some hilarious joke about how nagging I am. The only thing is, I can't stop thinking about it because you hit the proverbial nail on the head. I don't think you were meant to be married.
It took you saying that for me to realize that all my frustrations that have mounted over the last few years are directly attributable to the fact that deep down, you probably shouldn't have ever gotten married - to anyone. You're my best friend, a great daddy to our two kids and a really good person, but the fact of the matter is that you're not a real spectacular husband because in the end, you just always want to be on your agenda and your ability to compromise or participate in the give and take of a married relationship isn't very good. In fact, you suck at it. There, I've said it. I think you're kind of a crappy husband.
I know you are faithful to me and I trust you completely, but I just have a hard time accepting the fact that you always do what you want to do when you want to do it, with no regard to how it impacts your family. I am beginning to understand that you don't do it to be mean or thoughtless but that you just truly don't think about it. That almost makes it worse.
What time you'll be home from work is a total moving target and it just doesn't seem to register with you that it would sure be nice to have a ballpark. It's so selfish of you to be unable to communicate with me on simple things like that. And then, when you come home and immediately leave to run, just announcing where you're going, without asking if it's a convenient time or if that works with our dinner or my schedule, it makes me want to put my fist down your throat. It's really confusing to me how someone who loves me - and I believe you do - and who loves our kids, can just have no regard for simple, common courtesies like that. I think I make your life too easy. It's the only explanation I can think of that explains how you could have no regard for me and are unable to extend to me the same flexibility that you demand for yourself in our household. I've tried to talk to you about this and you just don't get it, which I don't get and then we both end up angry.
I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like to be a single parent to our wonderful kids and that makes me sad because it's not what I want and I don't think it's what you want either. The other reason it makes me sad is that when I try to think about what impacts that would have on my day to day routine in running our household and parenting, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. You're so wrapped up in what you want to do that you're often a non-factor and I don't count on you to do very much. Sad.
This isn't the marriage I imagined for myself when I was young and idealistic and it's not even the marriage I thought I was getting into when I enthusiastically entered into it with you. I think having kids made me realize how selfish we both were, and that worked when it was just us, but now that we have these two amazing kids, it's not working for me. I think you were right. You shouldn't be married and shame on me for finding it out this way.
Confession #2072
I see that you’re trying. I really do. I see what you’re doing differently and I really do appreciate it. I know you want to make this work. I do too. I hate that we both have to work through our issues, but I’m glad we’re doing it together. You stay beside me while I learn to deal with my past. I’ll hold your hand while you work through what you survived in the war. Thank you for staying.. Thank you for not trying to scare me away. I see that you’re trying and I can never thank you enough. Some day we’ll find that we’ve become the elderly couple in the park who slowly shuffles through while holding hands. It’s so rough at times, but I can’t imagine it any other way
Confession #2073
I find it absolutely revolting that you refuse to take a shower for
sometimes 2 weeks straight. The only way you ever take one is when I tell
you that you won't get any sex from me unless you do. And sometimes that
doesn't even work. You disgust me. And I don't want to be disgusted by the
man that I love. PLEASE take a fucking shower!
Confession #2074
Why is it that you can spend our money like there is no tomorrow and I have to be the frugal one? Maybe for once I would like to have something nice. Did you ever think of that?
Confession #2075
Beloved husband,
I am attracted to your best friend. I've known him now for twelve
years, the same as I've known you. And over the years, my attraction
has grown and waned, but it never completely fades. I suspect that he
has some feelings for me too, but I'll never know for sure. I
certainly won't ask him or share my feelings. It's a forbidden
subject. And nothing would ever come of this attraction. We both love
you and would never ever betray you.
But, sometimes when he leans in close to me and I can smell his skin,
it makes me crave more. Or when our fingers accidentally touch, I feel
electricity. And when the three of us are just sitting on the couch,
sometime I think about what it would be like to kiss him. What it
would be like to be held by him. It is unsettling.
Confession #2076
my confession i sent last week made me want to talk to you. so i did. and you reacted exactly the way i thought you would. you blamed it all on your job and you told me to tell you to quit.
i know the hours you work make a difference. you say that we are not used to being married now that we have worked separate shifts for a year now. i know part of that is true, but what is the excuse that sometimes you are downright mean? after we had our talk and i told you that i wasn't happy, you said you knew. you said you weren't happy either. you said that rather than get another divorce, that you would quit your job.
i know that you want to work first shift. i want you to work first shift. it's not fun for me to take care of 95% of the kids' needs all the time. sometimes i want/need a break. but we are not in a financial position at the moment to do that. we need to use the income and pay off some bills, then you can look for something else, as you know that you won't be able to make as much elsewhere. but in the meantime, you and i need to work harder at our relationship.
you need to help more with the housework. and you did this weekend. which really helped. and you didn't act like an ass. that was appreciated. but what you did do was after our conversation on Saturday, it was like you forgot all about it Sunday and Monday, and you are back to normal, might i add, after you got some, which is exactly what i told you would happen.
so here we are again... what to do now?
(heavy sigh)
marriage is not what i expected that it would be. it's hard. sometimes it's not fun. the companionship is great, but sometimes i long for the butterflies again.
do the butterflies always go away? is it supposed to be this way? i don't know, I'm just trying to figure it all out...
Confession #2077
I’m so sorry I cheated on you. At first I thought it was special with him and that it was ok if I lost you. I thought you were indifferent toward me and might not even notice if I left. Now I realize that I was wrong. You just showed your love in different ways and I refused to see that. Things haven’t been perfect for us but it was *us* and we made it through so much. I’m terrified to separate from you. I don’t want to be without you. I wish things hadn’t gotten to this point. Thank you for so many years of love. Thank you for being my best friend. I will always regret the hurt I’ve caused you.
Confession #2078
All men who work for Law Enforcement cheat. Sorry wives – but they ALL do. I see it every single day. Just a heads up to the ladies- so you can keep your eye on your man with badge.
Confession #2079
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry I wasted almost 3 years of our married life caring about a jackass who didn't feel the same way about me ... except for when he acted like he did so I could be manipulated into caring about him again.
I'm sorry for the e-mails to him, the phone calls, the fantasies, all of it.
More than anything else, I'm sorry I still care. So sorry.
I wish he was dead. And at times like this, I wish I was, too.
Confession #2080
I have no idea why I broke up with you. I keep trying to tell myself it's because I couldn't move there..but in the end I think it was that and because I don't find you as attractive as I used to.
I was expecting you to be just as cute as you were when you were my age, back then. But you aren't. You have aged..whether it be from time and stress or I don't know. And I couldn't spend the rest of my life with a man I didn't find that attractive.
I love exactly who you are, but my shallow side won and I didn't have the balls to admit that to you. I am an uber cunt and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for throwing you away.
Last week when we were joking around you said that you wouldn't get married again if something happened to me because you thought maybe you weren't meant to be married and we both laughed like you'd made some hilarious joke about how nagging I am. The only thing is, I can't stop thinking about it because you hit the proverbial nail on the head. I don't think you were meant to be married.
It took you saying that for me to realize that all my frustrations that have mounted over the last few years are directly attributable to the fact that deep down, you probably shouldn't have ever gotten married - to anyone. You're my best friend, a great daddy to our two kids and a really good person, but the fact of the matter is that you're not a real spectacular husband because in the end, you just always want to be on your agenda and your ability to compromise or participate in the give and take of a married relationship isn't very good. In fact, you suck at it. There, I've said it. I think you're kind of a crappy husband.
I know you are faithful to me and I trust you completely, but I just have a hard time accepting the fact that you always do what you want to do when you want to do it, with no regard to how it impacts your family. I am beginning to understand that you don't do it to be mean or thoughtless but that you just truly don't think about it. That almost makes it worse.
What time you'll be home from work is a total moving target and it just doesn't seem to register with you that it would sure be nice to have a ballpark. It's so selfish of you to be unable to communicate with me on simple things like that. And then, when you come home and immediately leave to run, just announcing where you're going, without asking if it's a convenient time or if that works with our dinner or my schedule, it makes me want to put my fist down your throat. It's really confusing to me how someone who loves me - and I believe you do - and who loves our kids, can just have no regard for simple, common courtesies like that. I think I make your life too easy. It's the only explanation I can think of that explains how you could have no regard for me and are unable to extend to me the same flexibility that you demand for yourself in our household. I've tried to talk to you about this and you just don't get it, which I don't get and then we both end up angry.
I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like to be a single parent to our wonderful kids and that makes me sad because it's not what I want and I don't think it's what you want either. The other reason it makes me sad is that when I try to think about what impacts that would have on my day to day routine in running our household and parenting, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. You're so wrapped up in what you want to do that you're often a non-factor and I don't count on you to do very much. Sad.
This isn't the marriage I imagined for myself when I was young and idealistic and it's not even the marriage I thought I was getting into when I enthusiastically entered into it with you. I think having kids made me realize how selfish we both were, and that worked when it was just us, but now that we have these two amazing kids, it's not working for me. I think you were right. You shouldn't be married and shame on me for finding it out this way.
Confession #2072
I see that you’re trying. I really do. I see what you’re doing differently and I really do appreciate it. I know you want to make this work. I do too. I hate that we both have to work through our issues, but I’m glad we’re doing it together. You stay beside me while I learn to deal with my past. I’ll hold your hand while you work through what you survived in the war. Thank you for staying.. Thank you for not trying to scare me away. I see that you’re trying and I can never thank you enough. Some day we’ll find that we’ve become the elderly couple in the park who slowly shuffles through while holding hands. It’s so rough at times, but I can’t imagine it any other way
Confession #2073
I find it absolutely revolting that you refuse to take a shower for
sometimes 2 weeks straight. The only way you ever take one is when I tell
you that you won't get any sex from me unless you do. And sometimes that
doesn't even work. You disgust me. And I don't want to be disgusted by the
man that I love. PLEASE take a fucking shower!
Confession #2074
Why is it that you can spend our money like there is no tomorrow and I have to be the frugal one? Maybe for once I would like to have something nice. Did you ever think of that?
Confession #2075
Beloved husband,
I am attracted to your best friend. I've known him now for twelve
years, the same as I've known you. And over the years, my attraction
has grown and waned, but it never completely fades. I suspect that he
has some feelings for me too, but I'll never know for sure. I
certainly won't ask him or share my feelings. It's a forbidden
subject. And nothing would ever come of this attraction. We both love
you and would never ever betray you.
But, sometimes when he leans in close to me and I can smell his skin,
it makes me crave more. Or when our fingers accidentally touch, I feel
electricity. And when the three of us are just sitting on the couch,
sometime I think about what it would be like to kiss him. What it
would be like to be held by him. It is unsettling.
Confession #2076
my confession i sent last week made me want to talk to you. so i did. and you reacted exactly the way i thought you would. you blamed it all on your job and you told me to tell you to quit.
i know the hours you work make a difference. you say that we are not used to being married now that we have worked separate shifts for a year now. i know part of that is true, but what is the excuse that sometimes you are downright mean? after we had our talk and i told you that i wasn't happy, you said you knew. you said you weren't happy either. you said that rather than get another divorce, that you would quit your job.
i know that you want to work first shift. i want you to work first shift. it's not fun for me to take care of 95% of the kids' needs all the time. sometimes i want/need a break. but we are not in a financial position at the moment to do that. we need to use the income and pay off some bills, then you can look for something else, as you know that you won't be able to make as much elsewhere. but in the meantime, you and i need to work harder at our relationship.
you need to help more with the housework. and you did this weekend. which really helped. and you didn't act like an ass. that was appreciated. but what you did do was after our conversation on Saturday, it was like you forgot all about it Sunday and Monday, and you are back to normal, might i add, after you got some, which is exactly what i told you would happen.
so here we are again... what to do now?
(heavy sigh)
marriage is not what i expected that it would be. it's hard. sometimes it's not fun. the companionship is great, but sometimes i long for the butterflies again.
do the butterflies always go away? is it supposed to be this way? i don't know, I'm just trying to figure it all out...
Confession #2077
I’m so sorry I cheated on you. At first I thought it was special with him and that it was ok if I lost you. I thought you were indifferent toward me and might not even notice if I left. Now I realize that I was wrong. You just showed your love in different ways and I refused to see that. Things haven’t been perfect for us but it was *us* and we made it through so much. I’m terrified to separate from you. I don’t want to be without you. I wish things hadn’t gotten to this point. Thank you for so many years of love. Thank you for being my best friend. I will always regret the hurt I’ve caused you.
Confession #2078
All men who work for Law Enforcement cheat. Sorry wives – but they ALL do. I see it every single day. Just a heads up to the ladies- so you can keep your eye on your man with badge.
Confession #2079
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry I wasted almost 3 years of our married life caring about a jackass who didn't feel the same way about me ... except for when he acted like he did so I could be manipulated into caring about him again.
I'm sorry for the e-mails to him, the phone calls, the fantasies, all of it.
More than anything else, I'm sorry I still care. So sorry.
I wish he was dead. And at times like this, I wish I was, too.
Confession #2080
I have no idea why I broke up with you. I keep trying to tell myself it's because I couldn't move there..but in the end I think it was that and because I don't find you as attractive as I used to.
I was expecting you to be just as cute as you were when you were my age, back then. But you aren't. You have aged..whether it be from time and stress or I don't know. And I couldn't spend the rest of my life with a man I didn't find that attractive.
I love exactly who you are, but my shallow side won and I didn't have the balls to admit that to you. I am an uber cunt and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for throwing you away.
Monday, September 10, 2007
True Wife Confessions 207 grapes on the vine
Confession #2061
I've been thinking about it for a while...
I've been thinking that maybe i would like to try anal sex. But since you've never really expressed any interest, i'm very hesitant. We've always laughed together that it's an exit hole only, and i've joked that if you do it to me, you have to let me do it to you.
I think that if i suggested it you would probably say yes.
I'm afraid it might hurt.
I'm more afraid that you will like it. After three babies, i'm reasonably certain that anal sex would feel a lot tighter for you than vaginal sex. I'm afraid that you will like it more than regular intercourse and that you will be disappointed if i don't enjoy it enough to do it again.
I'm also very self-conscious about it; i mean, it's my anus, for crying out loud! Nobody's ever been up close and personal with it.
I don't know...i probably won't say anything. Since the last baby, i seem to have lost my sexual confidence. I have a hard enough time asking you to touch me. You always offer.
You're a great lover.
Confession #2062
To my ex-husband,
I had an epiphany about you a couple of weeks ago.
You're still a jerk, and I don't like you one bit.
But the hatred is finally gone.
I have peace in my heart after three years. Make that 16 years.
It feels GOOD! :)
Confession #2063
I love you so much. I would give the world for your smile, and somewhere I know you know that. You know that I have put my happiness, needs, wants, emotions, money, absolutely everything aside for you. You know I love you so much that I would never leave. Sometimes I wonder if this is what ruined us, or me, or what we used to have.
I was being a "douche bag" last week so you went to a party and danced with a girl named Eva. You hooked up, and even "have her number." You tell me I need to apologize for "everything I have done to you." I have bought you a motorcycle. I have charged $1200 dollars on my credit card filling up your gas tank 5x last month and paying for all your food. YOU are the one with a 34 on the ACT, YOU are the one that got a FULL RIDE to college, YOU are the "genius" that is going to be a petroleum engineer. Why am I paying for you? I have called you over and over again balling and apologizing for anything I could think of, saying I love you and I miss you.. to which you respond, "contact me, and we are over." I have never cheated on you. You broke up with me that night. I never touched Collin. I slept on the floor of his house.. you were THERE, why don't you believe me? Why am I treated this way for something that never happened? ..when you hook up with other girls all the time, because I was being "a douche bag" ? Do you not think cheating on me is worse in every way possible than me sleeping on the floor of our friend's house because you broke up with me and I had no where to go at 2:30 am?
You call me stupid, you hang up on me to talk to other girls, you tell me I fail at everything, and when I beg for you to say I am beautiful, you get "annoyed"
and hang up on me. When I cry, you call me "so fucking immature." I have cried for a very long time over you. I am trying so hard. I have given you everything my broken heart could possibly give. What do you want me to do?
Laughing with you is the best thing in the world. When you touch me, there is nothing I could do to tell you no. When I fall asleep with you and feel your heart next to me, it is the most peaceful feeling in the world. But I never get simple things like voice mails saying I love you anymore, I never get phone calls, or even text messages. I never get any emotions from you really, unless you want sex, or for me to talk dirty to you.
I love you. I can't do this anymore. But I could never leave. No one is like you.
P.S - My grandfather dying is more important than talking dirty to you.
Confession #2064
Two weekends ago you told me the 'truth'. I never would have been the wiser. Of all the people in the world, you, my husband of two years, I trusted. I never have doubted a single word you have spoken, and now I don't believe your own breath to fill your lungs.
You say you don't remember what day it was. You say it was when we were first together and you always meant to tell me. And now I know that they have been laughing at me all along.
Micheal was my friend, he saved my life once. Before you knew me. When I lived in a different world. And he's known your secret all along. You threatened him not to tell me. I know you would have come through with your threat. But I would think I meant more to him than that. Maybe he is laughing at me too.
I can't stop thinking about what you told me. Fuck you! And your condescending ways.
You are fake. Just like everyone else.
You say it doesn't really matter. You're still the same person.
But that is not the point. If I had known what you did right after you had did it...we would not be here now.
We would not be married, have a car and house (not a home anymore) and dog.
This life I have right now with you is based on fraud.
And all I can think about is Where am I supposed to be right now?
Please sign me Anonymous
Confession #2065
My husband was deployed months ago. We have a mutual friend whom I would consider to be one of my closest guy friends. He used to date my best friend and that's how I met him. Well, a month after my husband left he called me and was clearly drunk and trying to drive home. I look out for my friends and we had a spare bedroom so I told him that he could stay there. We were talking like every other time we had talked. We were both laying on the floor facing different directions because we didn't have furniture. This was nothing new. He asked me if I had ever played the teasing game and I said no. He asked me if I wanted to play and I agreed only if we didn't let things go too far. I should have known better. Things got out of hand and I told him to stop a couple times but he didn't. He kept going and we ended up having sex. He apologized the next day and told me that my husband doesn't need to know and that it was a huge mistake. My husband knows about that night. The friend doesn't know that I told my husband. My husband doesn't know that we had sex 3 or 4 more times and the last time I had told him to stop just like the 1st time it happened. And he didn't. I liked the attention at first, but I didn't like that he forced me to have sex with him the first and the last time. I felt so guilty and unworthy of my husband. After I told my husband what happened the 1st time, he told me that if it happened again he would go to the friend's superiors and take action against him. Did I mention that the friend is in the military as well? He is now married and expecting a child and I don't want to tell my husband about the other times because I don't want to ruin the friends family life. His wife doesn't deserve that and neither does their child. It's not their fault it happened. I'm torn and not quite sure what to do. Any suggestions?
Confession #2066
Sometimes I feel that I can’t do it anymore. My life is so hectic. I know that others have it much worse, but it’s so hard to focus on the positives sometimes.
We are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary and as it gets closer, I just wonder if we’d be better off apart. I know you say that you still love me, but it’s your actions, not words that I think about. The only time you really ever touch me is when you want sex. Ever since you started working nights again, our relationship has deteriorated. The other day I looked at apartments online. I actually thought about leaving you, and it wasn’t the first time. I don’t feel that we make each other strive to be better people anymore. You no longer make me a priority. I know that part of this is not your fault. I am used to being on my own, am an only child and very distant at times. I don’t need the companionship that others do, so I tend to push you away without thinking about it. I’m sorry about this. I don’t like to kiss you because you smoke and don’t brush your teeth often enough. I don’t go down on you because it’s gross. It’s not that I haven’t before; it’s just that doing it makes me gag. You are great about our sex life though; you require very little from me and constantly try to please me. But that’s where it ends. You rarely do house work even though I work full time and take care of the kids in the evening taking them to their activities, cooking and helping them with their homework. My day is so long and all I hear from you is how tired you are. It gets old. I feel especially stressed out right now with all that’s going on, but I have no help from you. You didn’t even go to the grocery store last night like you said you would.
This is not how I envisioned spending my life. I didn’t know that things can change so much. I used to think we had a great relationship and for the most part we did, but it really has changed over the past couple of years. You get so angry at times and I don’t understand why. On the weekends when we do see each other, you don’t spend any time with me. You don’t get up until I finally get so mad at trying to wake you up for hours that it makes you mad, and then we’re pretty much done for the day. I am so tired of hearing how tired you are. How do you think I feel? I feel like I might as well be on my own, at least then I am truly a single parent, rather than being one and still having to deal with your shit.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether to leave or not, or to even try. Any time I mention this to you, you get so bent out of shape and defensive about it. This is how I FEEL, I can’t change that. Is it worth it to try, even though I don’t feel that we can fall back in love, or do I cut my losses and move on? I don’t know, I feel so confused…
Confession #2067
When we were homeless I had places to go. But I couldn't go there with you,
so I stayed homeless. I was miserable. Then I moved to the other side of the
country with you, leaving everybody I have ever known and loved, FOR YOU!
And what have you done for me? Bought me a computer? I couldn't care less
what you buy me, or how much money you make. It's not important. What is
important, is that you make me feel loved. You go to work, you come home,
you do your own thing, and then you go to bed. There's no, "Hi baby, I
missed you, you look beautiful today." it's only "Hey can you make me
something to eat?" Maybe the reason that we hardly ever have sex any more is
that I don't feel sexy. Did you ever think of that? Maybe if you made some
effort to compliment me I would be happier. When I ask you why you love me
all you can say is "Because I do". When I ask you what you love about me all
you can say is "I don't know." how am I supposed to feel when not one
positive thing about me comes to your mind? When I am asked the same
questions I have a million and one positive responses. I can't take it
anymore. I am lonely and this place is killing me. Your family is horrible.
Not one of them respects each other. I miss my family who ALWAYS respects
one another. I am beginning to resent you, and if nothing changes I think I
might hate you. I don't want to lose you. But if I stay miserable that just
might happen. And the worst part is that I've told you all these things
before, and all you can do to respond is start listing off things that I do
wrong. I don't deserve this. I really don't.
You make me a little bit disgusted. The whole porn thing is just weird for me and it is hard not to look at you and think you are a pervert. Sure whatever it is "normal" for guys to do that, I guess. But still I think you are a little gross. And I make comments all the time that are condescending and I know I am hurting you, but you hurt me all the time.
Confession #2068
The other night we were in bed, talking for the first time in what felt like ages. We even started to laugh about something...and for a second I remembered what I fell in love with about you. But, just like that the conversation moved to why I wasn't a good enough mother, wife, housekeeper - you name it. And I watched any flicker of love I have for you get extinguished again.
Confession #2069
Thank you for letting me have all day Saturday to shop with my girlfriend...AND not being in a pissy mood when I got home cause you had to be primary parent all day.
Confession #2070
I am so very confused right now. If I followed my instincts, my gut feelings, I would turn and run from you, because my fears that you are screwing around with your ex wife are true *if I followed my guts*. I want to believe you when you tell me that I need to trust you, and I feel guilty when I don't trust you. Maybe I don't trust myself?
The lack of sex is getting to me. More than a little. I finally stopped bothering you about it, because even after my medical problems were over, you still don't seem interested. You show affection in so many other ways, so I know that you do care, but even if you are stressed or always tired, you would rather watch your fucking hunting shows than have sex with me. Oh, blowjobs are fine, and I love like hell to give them to you, love being able to please you like that, but after a couple of months of so many of those, and only two sessions of sex *both of which were really rushed, might I add* I am starting to feel like I am rejected, obsolete. I want to scream or cry. I don't want to hurt you, but I have considered pursuing other relationships. Surely someone else would like to fuck me on occasion. Do you not respect me? Am I fat? Have I lose my appeal?? I have lost weight. I was attractive to you at first. We used to have sex a couple times a day, now I am lucky if we do a couple times a month. What happened? I feel like crawling out of my skin half the time, do I repulse you? You tell me that I need to build my self confidence, but that you are glad I am so sexually confident. Do you realize that since you have blown off all my advances towards you, I am starting to doubt myself even more? I didn't think that was possible. It has only been 5 months. I want this to work, we aren't married, just in a committed relationship. I feel like we could be perfect for each other, if it wasn't for this one thing. I am only 27. I feel like I am expected to feel old and frigid. Yes, I feel rejected. I can understand how your ex wife would have felt that way. But I care for you, aside from this little thing, I care for you so dearly. Part of me wonders if I am holding onto a future that can't exist. You have been so good to me. but I struggle in so many ways that you have never even seen. I feel lost. I feel like running away. I want you for once to WANT me and make the first move, before I lose my mind.
You were worried that I would screw my exes even though I feel nothing for them but work with one. I've thought about it. They may not care for me like you do, but I am a human being who enjoys sex and by damned, they like sex too. You don't seem to like it with me, or so it feels.
And another thing, I am glad you like my father, but you are so much like him in so many ways, all the ways I cannot stand, that it bothers me and I am insanely jealous that you are such good friends with him. I feel left out when the three of us get together and hang out...
I've been thinking about it for a while...
I've been thinking that maybe i would like to try anal sex. But since you've never really expressed any interest, i'm very hesitant. We've always laughed together that it's an exit hole only, and i've joked that if you do it to me, you have to let me do it to you.
I think that if i suggested it you would probably say yes.
I'm afraid it might hurt.
I'm more afraid that you will like it. After three babies, i'm reasonably certain that anal sex would feel a lot tighter for you than vaginal sex. I'm afraid that you will like it more than regular intercourse and that you will be disappointed if i don't enjoy it enough to do it again.
I'm also very self-conscious about it; i mean, it's my anus, for crying out loud! Nobody's ever been up close and personal with it.
I don't know...i probably won't say anything. Since the last baby, i seem to have lost my sexual confidence. I have a hard enough time asking you to touch me. You always offer.
You're a great lover.
Confession #2062
To my ex-husband,
I had an epiphany about you a couple of weeks ago.
You're still a jerk, and I don't like you one bit.
But the hatred is finally gone.
I have peace in my heart after three years. Make that 16 years.
It feels GOOD! :)
Confession #2063
I love you so much. I would give the world for your smile, and somewhere I know you know that. You know that I have put my happiness, needs, wants, emotions, money, absolutely everything aside for you. You know I love you so much that I would never leave. Sometimes I wonder if this is what ruined us, or me, or what we used to have.
I was being a "douche bag" last week so you went to a party and danced with a girl named Eva. You hooked up, and even "have her number." You tell me I need to apologize for "everything I have done to you." I have bought you a motorcycle. I have charged $1200 dollars on my credit card filling up your gas tank 5x last month and paying for all your food. YOU are the one with a 34 on the ACT, YOU are the one that got a FULL RIDE to college, YOU are the "genius" that is going to be a petroleum engineer. Why am I paying for you? I have called you over and over again balling and apologizing for anything I could think of, saying I love you and I miss you.. to which you respond, "contact me, and we are over." I have never cheated on you. You broke up with me that night. I never touched Collin. I slept on the floor of his house.. you were THERE, why don't you believe me? Why am I treated this way for something that never happened? ..when you hook up with other girls all the time, because I was being "a douche bag" ? Do you not think cheating on me is worse in every way possible than me sleeping on the floor of our friend's house because you broke up with me and I had no where to go at 2:30 am?
You call me stupid, you hang up on me to talk to other girls, you tell me I fail at everything, and when I beg for you to say I am beautiful, you get "annoyed"
and hang up on me. When I cry, you call me "so fucking immature." I have cried for a very long time over you. I am trying so hard. I have given you everything my broken heart could possibly give. What do you want me to do?
Laughing with you is the best thing in the world. When you touch me, there is nothing I could do to tell you no. When I fall asleep with you and feel your heart next to me, it is the most peaceful feeling in the world. But I never get simple things like voice mails saying I love you anymore, I never get phone calls, or even text messages. I never get any emotions from you really, unless you want sex, or for me to talk dirty to you.
I love you. I can't do this anymore. But I could never leave. No one is like you.
P.S - My grandfather dying is more important than talking dirty to you.
Confession #2064
Two weekends ago you told me the 'truth'. I never would have been the wiser. Of all the people in the world, you, my husband of two years, I trusted. I never have doubted a single word you have spoken, and now I don't believe your own breath to fill your lungs.
You say you don't remember what day it was. You say it was when we were first together and you always meant to tell me. And now I know that they have been laughing at me all along.
Micheal was my friend, he saved my life once. Before you knew me. When I lived in a different world. And he's known your secret all along. You threatened him not to tell me. I know you would have come through with your threat. But I would think I meant more to him than that. Maybe he is laughing at me too.
I can't stop thinking about what you told me. Fuck you! And your condescending ways.
You are fake. Just like everyone else.
You say it doesn't really matter. You're still the same person.
But that is not the point. If I had known what you did right after you had did it...we would not be here now.
We would not be married, have a car and house (not a home anymore) and dog.
This life I have right now with you is based on fraud.
And all I can think about is Where am I supposed to be right now?
Please sign me Anonymous
Confession #2065
My husband was deployed months ago. We have a mutual friend whom I would consider to be one of my closest guy friends. He used to date my best friend and that's how I met him. Well, a month after my husband left he called me and was clearly drunk and trying to drive home. I look out for my friends and we had a spare bedroom so I told him that he could stay there. We were talking like every other time we had talked. We were both laying on the floor facing different directions because we didn't have furniture. This was nothing new. He asked me if I had ever played the teasing game and I said no. He asked me if I wanted to play and I agreed only if we didn't let things go too far. I should have known better. Things got out of hand and I told him to stop a couple times but he didn't. He kept going and we ended up having sex. He apologized the next day and told me that my husband doesn't need to know and that it was a huge mistake. My husband knows about that night. The friend doesn't know that I told my husband. My husband doesn't know that we had sex 3 or 4 more times and the last time I had told him to stop just like the 1st time it happened. And he didn't. I liked the attention at first, but I didn't like that he forced me to have sex with him the first and the last time. I felt so guilty and unworthy of my husband. After I told my husband what happened the 1st time, he told me that if it happened again he would go to the friend's superiors and take action against him. Did I mention that the friend is in the military as well? He is now married and expecting a child and I don't want to tell my husband about the other times because I don't want to ruin the friends family life. His wife doesn't deserve that and neither does their child. It's not their fault it happened. I'm torn and not quite sure what to do. Any suggestions?
Confession #2066
Sometimes I feel that I can’t do it anymore. My life is so hectic. I know that others have it much worse, but it’s so hard to focus on the positives sometimes.
We are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary and as it gets closer, I just wonder if we’d be better off apart. I know you say that you still love me, but it’s your actions, not words that I think about. The only time you really ever touch me is when you want sex. Ever since you started working nights again, our relationship has deteriorated. The other day I looked at apartments online. I actually thought about leaving you, and it wasn’t the first time. I don’t feel that we make each other strive to be better people anymore. You no longer make me a priority. I know that part of this is not your fault. I am used to being on my own, am an only child and very distant at times. I don’t need the companionship that others do, so I tend to push you away without thinking about it. I’m sorry about this. I don’t like to kiss you because you smoke and don’t brush your teeth often enough. I don’t go down on you because it’s gross. It’s not that I haven’t before; it’s just that doing it makes me gag. You are great about our sex life though; you require very little from me and constantly try to please me. But that’s where it ends. You rarely do house work even though I work full time and take care of the kids in the evening taking them to their activities, cooking and helping them with their homework. My day is so long and all I hear from you is how tired you are. It gets old. I feel especially stressed out right now with all that’s going on, but I have no help from you. You didn’t even go to the grocery store last night like you said you would.
This is not how I envisioned spending my life. I didn’t know that things can change so much. I used to think we had a great relationship and for the most part we did, but it really has changed over the past couple of years. You get so angry at times and I don’t understand why. On the weekends when we do see each other, you don’t spend any time with me. You don’t get up until I finally get so mad at trying to wake you up for hours that it makes you mad, and then we’re pretty much done for the day. I am so tired of hearing how tired you are. How do you think I feel? I feel like I might as well be on my own, at least then I am truly a single parent, rather than being one and still having to deal with your shit.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether to leave or not, or to even try. Any time I mention this to you, you get so bent out of shape and defensive about it. This is how I FEEL, I can’t change that. Is it worth it to try, even though I don’t feel that we can fall back in love, or do I cut my losses and move on? I don’t know, I feel so confused…
Confession #2067
When we were homeless I had places to go. But I couldn't go there with you,
so I stayed homeless. I was miserable. Then I moved to the other side of the
country with you, leaving everybody I have ever known and loved, FOR YOU!
And what have you done for me? Bought me a computer? I couldn't care less
what you buy me, or how much money you make. It's not important. What is
important, is that you make me feel loved. You go to work, you come home,
you do your own thing, and then you go to bed. There's no, "Hi baby, I
missed you, you look beautiful today." it's only "Hey can you make me
something to eat?" Maybe the reason that we hardly ever have sex any more is
that I don't feel sexy. Did you ever think of that? Maybe if you made some
effort to compliment me I would be happier. When I ask you why you love me
all you can say is "Because I do". When I ask you what you love about me all
you can say is "I don't know." how am I supposed to feel when not one
positive thing about me comes to your mind? When I am asked the same
questions I have a million and one positive responses. I can't take it
anymore. I am lonely and this place is killing me. Your family is horrible.
Not one of them respects each other. I miss my family who ALWAYS respects
one another. I am beginning to resent you, and if nothing changes I think I
might hate you. I don't want to lose you. But if I stay miserable that just
might happen. And the worst part is that I've told you all these things
before, and all you can do to respond is start listing off things that I do
wrong. I don't deserve this. I really don't.
You make me a little bit disgusted. The whole porn thing is just weird for me and it is hard not to look at you and think you are a pervert. Sure whatever it is "normal" for guys to do that, I guess. But still I think you are a little gross. And I make comments all the time that are condescending and I know I am hurting you, but you hurt me all the time.
Confession #2068
The other night we were in bed, talking for the first time in what felt like ages. We even started to laugh about something...and for a second I remembered what I fell in love with about you. But, just like that the conversation moved to why I wasn't a good enough mother, wife, housekeeper - you name it. And I watched any flicker of love I have for you get extinguished again.
Confession #2069
Thank you for letting me have all day Saturday to shop with my girlfriend...AND not being in a pissy mood when I got home cause you had to be primary parent all day.
Confession #2070
I am so very confused right now. If I followed my instincts, my gut feelings, I would turn and run from you, because my fears that you are screwing around with your ex wife are true *if I followed my guts*. I want to believe you when you tell me that I need to trust you, and I feel guilty when I don't trust you. Maybe I don't trust myself?
The lack of sex is getting to me. More than a little. I finally stopped bothering you about it, because even after my medical problems were over, you still don't seem interested. You show affection in so many other ways, so I know that you do care, but even if you are stressed or always tired, you would rather watch your fucking hunting shows than have sex with me. Oh, blowjobs are fine, and I love like hell to give them to you, love being able to please you like that, but after a couple of months of so many of those, and only two sessions of sex *both of which were really rushed, might I add* I am starting to feel like I am rejected, obsolete. I want to scream or cry. I don't want to hurt you, but I have considered pursuing other relationships. Surely someone else would like to fuck me on occasion. Do you not respect me? Am I fat? Have I lose my appeal?? I have lost weight. I was attractive to you at first. We used to have sex a couple times a day, now I am lucky if we do a couple times a month. What happened? I feel like crawling out of my skin half the time, do I repulse you? You tell me that I need to build my self confidence, but that you are glad I am so sexually confident. Do you realize that since you have blown off all my advances towards you, I am starting to doubt myself even more? I didn't think that was possible. It has only been 5 months. I want this to work, we aren't married, just in a committed relationship. I feel like we could be perfect for each other, if it wasn't for this one thing. I am only 27. I feel like I am expected to feel old and frigid. Yes, I feel rejected. I can understand how your ex wife would have felt that way. But I care for you, aside from this little thing, I care for you so dearly. Part of me wonders if I am holding onto a future that can't exist. You have been so good to me. but I struggle in so many ways that you have never even seen. I feel lost. I feel like running away. I want you for once to WANT me and make the first move, before I lose my mind.
You were worried that I would screw my exes even though I feel nothing for them but work with one. I've thought about it. They may not care for me like you do, but I am a human being who enjoys sex and by damned, they like sex too. You don't seem to like it with me, or so it feels.
And another thing, I am glad you like my father, but you are so much like him in so many ways, all the ways I cannot stand, that it bothers me and I am insanely jealous that you are such good friends with him. I feel left out when the three of us get together and hang out...
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