I've been thinking about it for a while...
I've been thinking that maybe i would like to try anal sex. But since you've never really expressed any interest, i'm very hesitant. We've always laughed together that it's an exit hole only, and i've joked that if you do it to me, you have to let me do it to you.
I think that if i suggested it you would probably say yes.
I'm afraid it might hurt.
I'm more afraid that you will like it. After three babies, i'm reasonably certain that anal sex would feel a lot tighter for you than vaginal sex. I'm afraid that you will like it more than regular intercourse and that you will be disappointed if i don't enjoy it enough to do it again.
I'm also very self-conscious about it; i mean, it's my anus, for crying out loud! Nobody's ever been up close and personal with it.
I don't know...i probably won't say anything. Since the last baby, i seem to have lost my sexual confidence. I have a hard enough time asking you to touch me. You always offer.
You're a great lover.
To my ex-husband,
I had an epiphany about you a couple of weeks ago.
You're still a jerk, and I don't like you one bit.
But the hatred is finally gone.
I have peace in my heart after three years. Make that 16 years.
It feels GOOD! :)
I love you so much. I would give the world for your smile, and somewhere I know you know that. You know that I have put my happiness, needs, wants, emotions, money, absolutely everything aside for you. You know I love you so much that I would never leave. Sometimes I wonder if this is what ruined us, or me, or what we used to have.
I was being a "douche bag" last week so you went to a party and danced with a girl named Eva. You hooked up, and even "have her number." You tell me I need to apologize for "everything I have done to you." I have bought you a motorcycle. I have charged $1200 dollars on my credit card filling up your gas tank 5x last month and paying for all your food. YOU are the one with a 34 on the ACT, YOU are the one that got a FULL RIDE to college, YOU are the "genius" that is going to be a petroleum engineer. Why am I paying for you? I have called you over and over again balling and apologizing for anything I could think of, saying I love you and I miss you.. to which you respond, "contact me, and we are over." I have never cheated on you. You broke up with me that night. I never touched Collin. I slept on the floor of his house.. you were THERE, why don't you believe me? Why am I treated this way for something that never happened? ..when you hook up with other girls all the time, because I was being "a douche bag" ? Do you not think cheating on me is worse in every way possible than me sleeping on the floor of our friend's house because you broke up with me and I had no where to go at 2:30 am?
You call me stupid, you hang up on me to talk to other girls, you tell me I fail at everything, and when I beg for you to say I am beautiful, you get "annoyed"
and hang up on me. When I cry, you call me "so fucking immature." I have cried for a very long time over you. I am trying so hard. I have given you everything my broken heart could possibly give. What do you want me to do?
Laughing with you is the best thing in the world. When you touch me, there is nothing I could do to tell you no. When I fall asleep with you and feel your heart next to me, it is the most peaceful feeling in the world. But I never get simple things like voice mails saying I love you anymore, I never get phone calls, or even text messages. I never get any emotions from you really, unless you want sex, or for me to talk dirty to you.
I love you. I can't do this anymore. But I could never leave. No one is like you.
P.S - My grandfather dying is more important than talking dirty to you.
Two weekends ago you told me the 'truth'. I never would have been the wiser. Of all the people in the world, you, my husband of two years, I trusted. I never have doubted a single word you have spoken, and now I don't believe your own breath to fill your lungs.
You say you don't remember what day it was. You say it was when we were first together and you always meant to tell me. And now I know that they have been laughing at me all along.
Micheal was my friend, he saved my life once. Before you knew me. When I lived in a different world. And he's known your secret all along. You threatened him not to tell me. I know you would have come through with your threat. But I would think I meant more to him than that. Maybe he is laughing at me too.
I can't stop thinking about what you told me. Fuck you! And your condescending ways.
You are fake. Just like everyone else.
You say it doesn't really matter. You're still the same person.
But that is not the point. If I had known what you did right after you had did it...we would not be here now.
We would not be married, have a car and house (not a home anymore) and dog.
This life I have right now with you is based on fraud.
And all I can think about is Where am I supposed to be right now?
Please sign me Anonymous
My husband was deployed months ago. We have a mutual friend whom I would consider to be one of my closest guy friends. He used to date my best friend and that's how I met him. Well, a month after my husband left he called me and was clearly drunk and trying to drive home. I look out for my friends and we had a spare bedroom so I told him that he could stay there. We were talking like every other time we had talked. We were both laying on the floor facing different directions because we didn't have furniture. This was nothing new. He asked me if I had ever played the teasing game and I said no. He asked me if I wanted to play and I agreed only if we didn't let things go too far. I should have known better. Things got out of hand and I told him to stop a couple times but he didn't. He kept going and we ended up having sex. He apologized the next day and told me that my husband doesn't need to know and that it was a huge mistake. My husband knows about that night. The friend doesn't know that I told my husband. My husband doesn't know that we had sex 3 or 4 more times and the last time I had told him to stop just like the 1st time it happened. And he didn't. I liked the attention at first, but I didn't like that he forced me to have sex with him the first and the last time. I felt so guilty and unworthy of my husband. After I told my husband what happened the 1st time, he told me that if it happened again he would go to the friend's superiors and take action against him. Did I mention that the friend is in the military as well? He is now married and expecting a child and I don't want to tell my husband about the other times because I don't want to ruin the friends family life. His wife doesn't deserve that and neither does their child. It's not their fault it happened. I'm torn and not quite sure what to do. Any suggestions?
Sometimes I feel that I can’t do it anymore. My life is so hectic. I know that others have it much worse, but it’s so hard to focus on the positives sometimes.
We are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary and as it gets closer, I just wonder if we’d be better off apart. I know you say that you still love me, but it’s your actions, not words that I think about. The only time you really ever touch me is when you want sex. Ever since you started working nights again, our relationship has deteriorated. The other day I looked at apartments online. I actually thought about leaving you, and it wasn’t the first time. I don’t feel that we make each other strive to be better people anymore. You no longer make me a priority. I know that part of this is not your fault. I am used to being on my own, am an only child and very distant at times. I don’t need the companionship that others do, so I tend to push you away without thinking about it. I’m sorry about this. I don’t like to kiss you because you smoke and don’t brush your teeth often enough. I don’t go down on you because it’s gross. It’s not that I haven’t before; it’s just that doing it makes me gag. You are great about our sex life though; you require very little from me and constantly try to please me. But that’s where it ends. You rarely do house work even though I work full time and take care of the kids in the evening taking them to their activities, cooking and helping them with their homework. My day is so long and all I hear from you is how tired you are. It gets old. I feel especially stressed out right now with all that’s going on, but I have no help from you. You didn’t even go to the grocery store last night like you said you would.
This is not how I envisioned spending my life. I didn’t know that things can change so much. I used to think we had a great relationship and for the most part we did, but it really has changed over the past couple of years. You get so angry at times and I don’t understand why. On the weekends when we do see each other, you don’t spend any time with me. You don’t get up until I finally get so mad at trying to wake you up for hours that it makes you mad, and then we’re pretty much done for the day. I am so tired of hearing how tired you are. How do you think I feel? I feel like I might as well be on my own, at least then I am truly a single parent, rather than being one and still having to deal with your shit.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether to leave or not, or to even try. Any time I mention this to you, you get so bent out of shape and defensive about it. This is how I FEEL, I can’t change that. Is it worth it to try, even though I don’t feel that we can fall back in love, or do I cut my losses and move on? I don’t know, I feel so confused…
When we were homeless I had places to go. But I couldn't go there with you,
so I stayed homeless. I was miserable. Then I moved to the other side of the
country with you, leaving everybody I have ever known and loved, FOR YOU!
And what have you done for me? Bought me a computer? I couldn't care less
what you buy me, or how much money you make. It's not important. What is
important, is that you make me feel loved. You go to work, you come home,
you do your own thing, and then you go to bed. There's no, "Hi baby, I
missed you, you look beautiful today." it's only "Hey can you make me
something to eat?" Maybe the reason that we hardly ever have sex any more is
that I don't feel sexy. Did you ever think of that? Maybe if you made some
effort to compliment me I would be happier. When I ask you why you love me
all you can say is "Because I do". When I ask you what you love about me all
you can say is "I don't know." how am I supposed to feel when not one
positive thing about me comes to your mind? When I am asked the same
questions I have a million and one positive responses. I can't take it
anymore. I am lonely and this place is killing me. Your family is horrible.
Not one of them respects each other. I miss my family who ALWAYS respects
one another. I am beginning to resent you, and if nothing changes I think I
might hate you. I don't want to lose you. But if I stay miserable that just
might happen. And the worst part is that I've told you all these things
before, and all you can do to respond is start listing off things that I do
wrong. I don't deserve this. I really don't.
You make me a little bit disgusted. The whole porn thing is just weird for me and it is hard not to look at you and think you are a pervert. Sure whatever it is "normal" for guys to do that, I guess. But still I think you are a little gross. And I make comments all the time that are condescending and I know I am hurting you, but you hurt me all the time.
The other night we were in bed, talking for the first time in what felt like ages. We even started to laugh about something...and for a second I remembered what I fell in love with about you. But, just like that the conversation moved to why I wasn't a good enough mother, wife, housekeeper - you name it. And I watched any flicker of love I have for you get extinguished again.
Thank you for letting me have all day Saturday to shop with my girlfriend...AND not being in a pissy mood when I got home cause you had to be primary parent all day.
I am so very confused right now. If I followed my instincts, my gut feelings, I would turn and run from you, because my fears that you are screwing around with your ex wife are true *if I followed my guts*. I want to believe you when you tell me that I need to trust you, and I feel guilty when I don't trust you. Maybe I don't trust myself?
The lack of sex is getting to me. More than a little. I finally stopped bothering you about it, because even after my medical problems were over, you still don't seem interested. You show affection in so many other ways, so I know that you do care, but even if you are stressed or always tired, you would rather watch your fucking hunting shows than have sex with me. Oh, blowjobs are fine, and I love like hell to give them to you, love being able to please you like that, but after a couple of months of so many of those, and only two sessions of sex *both of which were really rushed, might I add* I am starting to feel like I am rejected, obsolete. I want to scream or cry. I don't want to hurt you, but I have considered pursuing other relationships. Surely someone else would like to fuck me on occasion. Do you not respect me? Am I fat? Have I lose my appeal?? I have lost weight. I was attractive to you at first. We used to have sex a couple times a day, now I am lucky if we do a couple times a month. What happened? I feel like crawling out of my skin half the time, do I repulse you? You tell me that I need to build my self confidence, but that you are glad I am so sexually confident. Do you realize that since you have blown off all my advances towards you, I am starting to doubt myself even more? I didn't think that was possible. It has only been 5 months. I want this to work, we aren't married, just in a committed relationship. I feel like we could be perfect for each other, if it wasn't for this one thing. I am only 27. I feel like I am expected to feel old and frigid. Yes, I feel rejected. I can understand how your ex wife would have felt that way. But I care for you, aside from this little thing, I care for you so dearly. Part of me wonders if I am holding onto a future that can't exist. You have been so good to me. but I struggle in so many ways that you have never even seen. I feel lost. I feel like running away. I want you for once to WANT me and make the first move, before I lose my mind.
You were worried that I would screw my exes even though I feel nothing for them but work with one. I've thought about it. They may not care for me like you do, but I am a human being who enjoys sex and by damned, they like sex too. You don't seem to like it with me, or so it feels.
And another thing, I am glad you like my father, but you are so much like him in so many ways, all the ways I cannot stand, that it bothers me and I am insanely jealous that you are such good friends with him. I feel left out when the three of us get together and hang out...