Thursday, October 11, 2007

True Wife Confessions 214 Miltary Discharge

Confession #2131

We don’t think that you should marry him.



Look inside yourself and listen to that nagging voice inside your head telling you not to do it that you ignore all the time.



He will not change because of you. He will still drink too much, embarrass you, neglect you, and then run back every time saying that he’s sorry and buy you dinner.



Intuition is something that shouldn’t be ignored, and when you have more than once that you can’t believe you are going to spend the rest of your life with him – maybe you should stop fearing being alone, and fear living a life like that?

Confession #2132

What makes me so incredibly sad is that I wish we could be as close as the one afternoon where we almost ended the relationship and we clung to each other and wept. I had never seen you get so emotional before about losing me, I just wish you could find ways to show me how much you care like that more often. Seeing you cry broke my heart into so many pieces I wanted to die that day.

Confession #2133

Sometimes I hope I might get in a serious car accident and end up in the hospital. Maybe then he would appreciate how much I do. Maybe then he would miss me a little and not take me for granted. Maybe then he would give me some of the attention he gives his job and the kids. Hell, he pays more attention to his car than he does to me.

Confession #2134

I wish that you would listen to me and treat me the way a husband would treat his wife. I can't even count how many times I have told you that your mother is stealling my things and I am sick of it. Every time I tell you all you can say is, "You're a liar! My mom would never do that!" Well, NEWS FLASH........She is and has been for who knows how long. I am finding MY things in HER room constantly. On several occasions I have seen her wearing MY things, which of course she STOLE!! Last Saturday while she was at work I went in her room to see if something of mine that was missing was in her room. I didn't find what I was looking for but I found some of my other things. She didn't talk to me for 3-4 days because she was mad I went in her room. I wouldn't go in her room if she wasn't hiding MY things in HER room. Why is it so hard for you to believe me and stand by my side?? I am waiting for her to say something to me so I can tell her to leave my things alone. I know she is giving my things away to other people and who is she to decide what to do with my things?? Some of the stuff she steals from me I have been saving for our daughter to use when she is old enough. When you ask me what I think she stole you tell me it isn't important. It might not be important to you, but it is important to me and that is all that should matter. WAKE UP!!! YOUR MOM ISN'T AS PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

I CAN'T REMAIN SANE MUCH LONGER!!!

Confession #2135

i wish you didn't leave me alone tonight. But you did. i didn't want to be alone. and you knew that. but you still left. and now i am alone. every time you get my hopes up... i end up alone... again... again... i don't even care about the other stuff, this was the only promise that mattered. and you said "you have the dog now, you're not alone"... at least i have the dog... now... and i'm still alone...

Confession #2136

I'm scared to walk away because I'm so in love with you.
I'm scared to stay because I don't think that you love me back.

I have never felt more alone

Confession #2137

I debated on whether or not to confess this or not. Not because I think you read this. And definitely not because I think she reads this. But because it feels like betraying our secret.

So instead of betraying that, I just wanted to say that I think I'm in love with you, even though you choose her and even though you hang on and try to make things work with her. You are my best friend, and I trust you with everything that I have. I want to thank you for owning up to the fact that you were a dick, and apologizing. I want to thank you for being honest with me on a constant basis.

The only real complaint is that every time I catch you looking at me, I think I see emotions that you're trying to ignore. Your eyes always say yes, but I think you're letting your head get in the way of at least part of your heart. But its okay. I think you'll figure out that she's a bitch who doesn't deserve what you're offering soon.

I love you and I'll be there for you for life.

Confession #2138

You are the most important thing to me. I know I get moody and treat you like crap sometimes, but truly? I am soo soo very happy with you. We got married when I was 20; alot of people thought that I was too young and that I should experience life before settling down. Little do they know that the only way I want to experience life is by your side. You make me so happy: when you want to snuggle after work, when you rave about my cooking, when you pick me up after work to surprise me, when you leave work early and skip happy hour just because you'd rather be home with me. You, my love, are wonderful; and I am so glad you are mine.

Confession #2139

To my sister;



I’m sorry your life isn’t as perfect as you want it to be. I’m sorry your child isn’t perfect all the time and only took a short nap today. How about asking about my day for once?! How about saying “Hey! I’ll make dinner tonight! Come on over!”? You’ve eaten dinner over here more times than I can count!!! You whine about money when you have THOUSANDS in your savings account and carry hundreds of dollars in cash in your wallet! I don’t even have enough damn money to buy gas or groceries this week! I don’t even know if I’ll have dinner tonight! I only have enough for the kids to eat the rest of the week. How the hell would you like that feeling?! But you wouldn’t know any of this because every time I try to tell you, you tell me how rough it is being you and having to eat out again tonight! You say you are on a budget. Want to trade? I’d love a budget that lets me buy shoes, clothes, toys for the kids, DVDs, and eat out every day! I love you, but I really don’t like you right now.

Confession #2140

My love, when you drew the bath for me this morning- turning on slow music, putting in scented oil and then getting into the tub with me so we could talk? I can't imagine my life without you. I was never romantic. Never. I was the practical one. People don't find soulmates, that is silly, I thought. I am too old for this, I thought, and people simply do not find each other the way we did. You rubbed my feet in your hands as we talked about our days apart. You held my face in your hands as we giggled and you kissed me and told me that I am gorgeous and beautiful - even as I told you that I think I gained weight and feel fat. We talked about the kids - your kids. My kids. We talked about how it will be for us to live together some day - but not yet.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

2131:

I hope the person you're speaking to reads this site.

2135:

When my bf of 3 year brok eup with me, I flipped my shit. I was terrified of being alone and hated to be more then moniutes away from someone at anytime. I had really awesome friends who sat me down and explained to me that no one should fear being alone, and that the help I needed was beyond what they could give. I don't know your circumstances behind why you are so scared to be alone, but maybe it's something that you need to get worked out because it's a horrible way to live and it's not fair to the people around you and more importantly, yourself.

IT Barman said...

2140.

Sounds great I hope it works out for the both of you

Anonymous said...

2133
Me too, sadly, me too.

Anonymous said...

2131: I wish that someone would have told me that... and I would have listened. I am going to do that. He does drink to much and he always says he is sorry. I'm not too far in, I can get out and out I will go. I am so over his shit.
I don't want to spend my life with him. I would rather be alone. You are really never alone if you just let the right ones in... not the drunks. The worst part is is he is a rich drunk.... and he can keep his drunk money too.

Noelle said...

#2133, I know that feeling all to well with my ex. *hugs*


#2140, Your post made me smile. But do you want to live with him yet? and if so why not yet? (I was just asking and I know you maybe will not answer and that is fine)

Anonymous said...

1240-- May this relationship bring you everthing you've ever desired. You both sound very much in true love. Ride that wave, my friend. Very best wished. Keep us updated!

Anonymous said...

I am 2140.

We are very much in love.In a way I never thought possible - and I am old enough to know.

But, we are married to different people. It is tangled and complicated, and there is no desire to wound our spouses. We are not young and impetuous. This did not happen because we were trying to seek revenge on our partners - it happened after we had both been in long, empty relationships - trying to make them work.

And perhaps I will be called a whore. Perhaps People I don't know will tell me that I should just divorce and he should just divorce...but it is not that simple. There are children who love and need their parents. Both parents. So we wait. We put our love on the back burner so we can make sure that our children are safe and happy.

We wait. We find bits of time to steal together. And I am thankful for the fact that he woke up something in me that I simply did not believe existed.

Anonymous said...

To 2140,

Do your partners know about your relationships. If your relationship is that broken then your kids will know and you are not showing them a good example by staying together in a loveless marriage.

I know from experience of my parents that I was happier after they separated and no longer fighting. I know that they both love me and at one time they loved each other but just grew apart.

Anonymous said...

What 7:57 said. I was 9 when my parents split up, and I was a lot happier. I knew that they weren't happy before that, but I wasn't sure why and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to fix everything and stressing out because I couldn't do it.

Then my dad met my step-mom and being around a healthy, loving relationship while there was still time for it to make an impression is probably what kept me from settling for bad relationships later on. Your kids are looking to you for an example of what to expect when they grow up and have relationships of their own. If you have the opportunity to give them a good example, why not do it?

Anonymous said...

2140, may I ask how old the children are? No matter what the response, you will get no judgment from me.

Noelle said...

2140, No judgement from me. =)

Anonymous said...

2133 Me too. I'm terrified to leave.