You know that guy that you tease me about....the one you think I want...well I do. I didn't at first...not even a little. But you treat me like shit. You don't tell me you love me, need me, miss me, want me...EVER! I do everything I can to make you happy, and the more I am apart from you...the more that I don't want to move to be with you. The more I realize that I am fine without you-better than fine. I've hung out with him every night this week...with friends, and nothing happened with us...but he's normal...he talks to me, pays attention to me, and actually tries to advise me on what do with you...I know he's attracted to me, and its taking everything in me not to act on it. You haven't called me in WEEKS-oh wait, yea when you needed money you did, but other than that nothing. I need attention, i need love...i at the very least need you to act 1/2 as good to me, as i do to you. I never thought I would get to the point where I don't care about you anymore...But I'm almost there. It is physically draining for me to put so so so much effort into our relationship and reap none of the benefits. I need to be with someone attentive, and fun, and loving...someone who wants to kiss me, and hold me...someone like him. I wish you would change, but I know you never will.
I told you that if you didn't stop drinking I would leave you. You quit and now I feel like I am stuck with you. Now I feel like my 'out' is gone. The drinking was only one of the things I don't like about you but I figured one thing at a time. I never expected you to actually stop drinking, I mean hell, you would tell me you weren't going to drink and you were on your way home but you would actually be on your way to the bar. I figured an addiction like that would definitely win out over me, but no, you stopped, at least I think you did.
The other things that bother me about you are that you are whiny, selfish, self indulging, overweight, immature, irresponsible, slob, bad lover, minute man, uncaring, paranoid, and you act so old. You are only 36 yet you act like you are 80. During our 9 months together so far I have almost left you several times, I have cried dozens of times, and we are down to having sex once a week? I am only 30, I'm pretty f'n hot, and I love you, yet you continue to treat me like this person that is inferior to you. You over explain everything like I am stupid or something. You tell me how to drive and not in a very pleasant manner at all. You're a dick, and as much as I do love you, I know that you are no good for me. One day I'll get over loving you and at that point I'll be gone. Then you can do your own laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. Ass.
I have $1,000 in a money market account you do not know about. My great aunt sent the money from the trust set up by my great grandparents. You are a terrible saver and the only way I know that money will not be spent on crap is if you do not know about it. It is for EMERGENCY only.
I realized what it is this evening. You leave the door open to pee when
it is just you, me and our son, but if the girls are home you close the
door. I totally understand why you close the door and there is nothing
wrong with closing the door. I just realized that if the girls were
yours too you would probably leave the door open to pee even if they
were home. I wish the girls were yours so that there would never need
to be closed doors again, we would just be a bit more free wouldn't we?
I just need to get this off my chest. I am married and I don’t want to be. I have been married 3 times before this one. I have only one conclusion: I don’t like being married.
I am a grown women, own my own home and my children are grown. I like my own space. I was raised where you should be married and I don’t like it. I’m not selfish. I would give my life for my daughters, but I just don’t like living with someone. God knows I have given it my best shot.
I would love for my husband to move out and let me have MY house back. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a nice enough person. I feel like I am his mother. I am already someone’s Mother and a damn good one at that. I have made mistakes and I have made plenty of real doozies.
Why I ask these group, do I feel guilty that I can’t stand being married? I have a good job and can support myself.
Maybe, I don’t want to grow old alone….but what the hell be miserable until I get old???????????
I am not a bar fly or just go around and pick up men, it just seems right at the time. I will say, I would rather have a companion that lived in a different house. He could visit me and we could go out on dates. I have to learn to say NO when I get a big rock stuffed on my finger. Truly, I believe that I am the type of person that does not need to be married.
I am miserable and I have fixed this problem in the past, so I guess I will have to fix it again. I don’t like to fail, but we all fail at one thing or another… I guess mine is marriage and I am the queen of failure when it comes to the sacrament of marriage.
P.S. I don’t hate this husband at all….. he is just a spoiled brat and he gets on every nerve that I have.
I have worked hard to have a nice life and I feel like he is an intruder.
I know you come on here and read this sometimes. After I told you that I read it all the time you asked if I have ever posted something and now you check it to see if you can find mine. I have posted once and it was an angry post to my ex but it listed all of the wonderful qualities that you have and he doesn't. You are my best friend. No one knows me better than you, I trust no one more than I trust you. I am in love with you. I can tell by the way you look at me, the wonderful things you say to me, the way you tell me you miss me. the way you send me my favorite flowers "just because I'm your bff", I can tell that you love me too. Because of your situation we can not be anything but friends. You have told me that you don't love her anymore but you are afraid of raising your wonderful kids alone and you know that she won't get them nor do you want her to. I want to tell you that you would never be alone. I will always be there for you just the way you have been here for me with my kids. I have never told you how I feel truly but I am sure you know, you can read me like a book. I wish we could just take our kids and run away together. There have been times I could feel how much you want me... your hugs that last longer than they should and the way you hold me for those hugs, the way the kisses on my cheek are so close to my lips, the way your hand brushes my face and even just the look in your eyes. You tell me that if it weren't for her, we could be so much more. You say you wish we met before you married her. I have so much respect for you because you haven't slept with me, not that I am trying or we haven't had the chance, but you don't want to have an affair. I total understand, but isn't that what we are doing? It is an emotional affair. We talk every morning on the way to work, we talk all day at work and on the drive home. You talk to me all night after she goes to bed. You call me and e-mail me all weekend when she isn't around. We talk more than you talk to her. I know more of your deep inner feelings than your own wife. You send me little notes, sweet emails, leaving me little messages, you are sad if we don't get to talk. I would never tell you to choose between me and your wife and I would never tell you to leave her for me. Yes I have told you to leave her but that was before when we only had feelings for each other as friends. No matter how much I love you, I am not going to play this game forever. You tell me I should have been "the one who got away" but we didn't meet in time before you ruined your life getting married to her (your words not mine). Well you know what, I am gonna be the one who got away. You tell me all the time that I am so wonderful any guy would be lucky to have me if I only let him in the way I have let you in. I can't sit around forever waiting for you to get over your fear of being alone. Someone is gonna sweep me off my feet and it will be too late for us. I am sorry, I love you.
When I met you, everything started out wonderfully. For over a year we talked, laughed, and just recently we made it physical. I told you secrets no one else knew, not even my own family. I told you my dreams, hopes, fears, that no one else even cared to listen to, or hear about.
But when you wanted me to help you pay for a $1,600 ring and watch set and I refused because we weren't committed to each other, that's when your real personality came out.
The secrets I had told you about my time in the military in the past--you used them against me, making me feel like I was a stupid whore because I was young and dumb. The secrets I told you about my family--you also used those against me, telling me 'that was why I was fucked up in the head' and 'no man would ever want to put up with a basket case like me'--reminding me why I stopped dating.
Then you tell me that 'no woman has ever refused to help you do anything' and that you're 'used to having your way because you're spoiled'. That's your fucking problem right there. No woman ever had the balls to tell your ass no, and you love it and hate it. And the fact that you accuse me of trying to sleep with every man who smiles at me? People wave at me or greet me, total strangers, and I speak and move on, yet I'm inviting these people for sex by returning a GREETING? Fuck you, you bastard.
This is why we are no longer together. The things I dealt with in the past... for you to take my own secrets and make me relive the pain I felt, the humiliation... when you promised me you would never hurt me is a knife in my back. This is why I withdraw into myself. This is why I don't hold much faith in the male species. I hate everything you are.
I've decided to stay. I have the money saved, the lawyers fee paid, a job and an apartment to live in, just waiting for me. But, I decided to stay. For us, for our son, for fear of the unknown. Please don't make me regret it.
We started out with a strong foundation and along the way we both lost trust. You with other women and me with pills. We have to do something to make it work or else in a few short years it will be over. I'll be older, but I will leave. I was a strong woman once and I can be that again. Most of the time I think you forget that.
I love you. I love our son more. He's getting ready to spread his wings and fly, if things don't change maybe I will too. I wonder if you'll care?
I have felt so alone for many years. We got married young and thought we could prove ourselves to the world.......... guess not. When I want to feel love you too tired or you are mean all the time. You felt bad when I did the wrong and went against you but we made up but one year later, and I still feel alone. I am in love with another. I tried to fight these feelings but they are there.........Sorry!
The other guy and I talk for hours and we seem to connect. I had the chose to choose him over you but the love I have for you made me stay. If I don't feel love I am out......
I am falling in love with you even though we promised each other we wouldn’t
I know you cant leave her
I cant leave him
But I am falling in love with you