Wednesday, September 26, 2007

True Wife Confessions 211 Steel Reserve

Confession #2101

I HATE YOU, can't you see I want to be your wife? Why won't you even consider that after four years it is either we talk about getting married or we break up. I don't want to waste four more years with you. You wonder why I am happy one minute, then angry, then depressed, then crying. THIS IS KILLING ME, you are the one, why am I not the one?

Confession #2102

Your emails to your ex-husband depict yourself to be a rather jealous and bitter woman. Did you honestly think telling him about your sexual encounters would make him jealous? Do you think he was turned on about you joining some S&M group? It only convinced him how bi-polar you really are and how he made the right decision divorcing you. How do I know? He tells me everything whenever you send him a nasty email or call him to give him a hard time. I gotta thank you for doing so, for we have such great sex after laughing at your emails and I notice that he appreciates me more!

Confession #2103

We argued the other night .. it was bad. You're convinced that our little girl 'cries for no reason' because I baby her. I babied our son far more than you ever knew and he wasn't a crier. I think it's just the difference in kids and in genders. But when you BLAME me for it, that doesn't do anything to make you look good in my eyes. It makes angry and hurt. I cry about it because I'm so pissed off I want to kick your ass for saying things like that.

Oh ~ and you need to figure out if it's funny or not when I tickle your nipples. Sometimes you laugh at it and sometimes you get mad. The last time (same night as above) it made you mad and you screamed, cussed and said some horrible things to me.

And here's the Dali ... Women do NOT get their asses beat by their men because 'they run their fucking mouths and don't know when to shut the fuck up." They get hit by their men because their men are ASSHOLE COWARDS with other issues and not much intelligence.

I know as sure as I'm sitting here typing this that you were going to say: You make me want to punch you right in the mouth. You didn't .. you only said part of it. But here's the thing - if I "make" you feel that way than you don't have much self-control. Maybe you should work on that. 'K?

Confession #2104

"Grow up" what I feel to be your last words to me. I feel like being
with you did make me grow in many ways. Not ,maybe, in the way you
mean, but growth nonetheless. I learned alot from being with you. I
learned alot about myself, and not all of it is easy to admit to
myself. I am not a very nice person sometimes, I am childish, selfish,
and somewhat spoiled. I am also generous and forgiving, and weak. I
let you walk all over me, treat me like dirt. I was stood up, cancelled
on, kept waiting; I had promises broken, confidences betrayed, and I
forgave, I understood, I waited, I listened to new promises and shared
new confidences, always ready to believe you. Fool me once, shame on
you, fool me twice....

I have taken off my rose colored glasses, I see you for what you
are, not what I wanted you to be, not who I wanted you to be, just who
and what you are. You are not all bad or good, wrong or right, and
neither am I.

I will miss you, more as time goes by and the rose tint clouds my
memory again......

But for now, I agree with you, too much drama. Mine and yours. Mine
is thankfully under control, funny how alcohol can have such a negative
effect on people and situations, how caring can come across as anger.
Yours is different, understated maybe, but there. I hope you can find
what you want. I hope someday we can be friends. But someday may not
be in the near future. Yet somehow I think that if we ever reach that
point it will be hard fought and well worth having waited for.

Confession #2105

I know your ex girlfriend emailed you back. I know she sent a picture. HELLO? We share a computer! Did you think I would not see the pic of her that she sent?

I'm hurt that you never told me. I mean, really, I'm the one who told you to email her back when she contacted you to begin with. I'm hurt that you are hiding this from me and I don't know how to bring it up. Why can't you be honest with me about it?

If you're worried that I am jealous, trust me, NOTHING could be further from the truth. She looks like a 50 year old grandmother with a bad poodle perm. I know I am hotter than she is and always will be. I also know that you would never take her back after all the things she did to you. I also know that you know that this, us, our marriage, is the best thing to ever happen to BOTH of us and we're a team.

I admit, I want you to mention the picture so I can openly gloat. What did you see in her?

Confession #2106

I was lying still in a darkened bedroom at 11 o'clock at night. You walked in, nudged me, and asked "are you going to sleep?" No, I'm mowing the lawn, dumbass. And you wonder why I'm so moody and cranky all the time.

Confession #2107

I'm starting to hate your step mother.
Some grandparent she's turning out to be.
Selfish, bitch!

Confession #2108

To my husband:

We are coming up on our 10th anniversary and I don't know if I want to celebrate or run away. I have been so patient after all these years, hoping you would change a little - meet me halfway - to make our marriage stronger. To my disappointment, you have not changed much. You are still smoking, unromantic, unhelpful with household chores, selfish, and rude. I am so very tired of fighting over your ashtray breath and lazy, selfish ways. I really wish you would try to change some of these things for the sake of our family. Don't think I won't leave you because I can and I will. I know we have two small children but what difference will it really make if we aren't together? You only see them for a few minutes every night anyway, sometimes not at all because your work comes first.

I hope you will see what you have before you lose us. I am only still here because I want us to work out so badly. When I married you, I said for better or for worse and I take that seriously. However, everyone has a limit and I'm reaching mine. Please listen to what I'm saying and work on becoming a better husband and father. Your children and I need you and want you to be a part of our lives but if you refuse to change, even a little, our days together as a family will be numbered. I simply cannot go on living an unsatisfied life with you. I know that marriage should not be this hard and the kids and I deserve a better life.

Confession #2109

We've been together for 5 years, married for 3 and I can't be with you
anymore. I accepted your cheating on me with your sons mother,
abandoning me while I was pregnant for a week while you hung out in
another state. I've put up with you hitting me and belittling me in
front of our daughter. And while you continue to disrespect me and treat
me like gum under your shoe, I found love in the arms of my co worker. I
am about to leave my job for a better one, and once my money is saved up
I'm leaving you because I want to raise our daughter alone and teach her
that she is strong and I don't want her to see the way you treat me
anymore. I never want to be married again and I just want to be the
person my mother raised me to be, independent.

Confession #2110

My fantasy is to leave you home alone with the kids for 2 weeks so after I
come back home you would appreciate me more. I would go on a cruise and
drink lots of frilly drinks and get massages every day and lay in a deck
chair and read in the afternoons. But I know in real life I would hate
going on a cruise without you and I would miss the kids terribly.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

2109-
Time to get a plan in order. The kids are young and I'm sure you are, too. Go make a new life and don't repeat bad decision. You can do this. I did. And I waited 10 yrs to marry a wonderful man. May the same happen to you, my friend.

Anonymous said...

2110- Go on the cruise anyway. You have no idea how refreshing it can be even if you are missing your family.

2109-You are strong enough to go and to thrive with your child and you alone. Peace and blessings will follow you....

2106-I used to do this to my husband, but he always rolled over and said, not anymore and then we would have phenomenal sex.

All of you in this post, be the women you know you are.

D said...

2101, i'm mot one for giving ultimatums, but after four years you would be more than justified in demanding that your man marry you or leave.

constant break-ups can give both of you pause and, depending on why you break up, there are likely valid reasons you're not married.

but it seems like you want a decision one way or another. after all this time you're entitled to one. just be prepared for the answer.

Anonymous said...

2110-If you go, Can I go too? I feel the same way. I don't want to leave, I just want to be appricated a little!

Anonymous said...

2104 - are you friends with my ex-husband? You have described him to a T. He never told me to grow up but he did treat me like shit and I let him. Your post sounds like me and our life. It is almost exactly what I've been wanting to say to my own ex. And in time, I will.

Anonymous said...

God, those were the most fucking depressing confessions.

sk said...

2110: I am going to join you on that cruise. We will order those frilly drinks and we will talk about how much we miss our husbands and our children. We just wont tell them that is all we did on our vacation.
I also know that when we get home we will figure out that grandma had the children for 10 days out of the two weeks.

Anonymous said...

2109:
Go......... Go.... Go.
I did it. My daughters are 26 and 27. They never saw me that I wasn't independent. In turn--- they too have become successful women that own their own bussiness.
I was scared and I was young, But I knew that those two little girls would become srtong women and they did. I hope I am some sort of inspration to you. Go for it.

Ash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ash:
You sound like a cool lil chic.
Where you raised on your music seletion? My daughters were....

Anonymous said...

2109: Sooooo proud of you. What a wonderful example of what it means to be a strong, smart, independent woman you are giving your daughter. I left my abusive husband when my daughter was 18 months old and never looked back. Good luck in your new life and be happy with your little one!

Anonymous said...

Confession #2101:

dude, you're so not the one... how do i know? i was you, hating him for not wanting me as much as i wanted him. i broke up with him, 'cause it was either leave or go mad. so i left. he married/knocked up someone a year later--after less than a year of knowing her.

Anonymous said...

Leaving isnt always that easy DUDE

Anonymous said...

2101

I to have been with my bf for 4 years and we live together as well. I felt like I was going a little crazy always having marriage on the mind and anytime he didn't show me the exact right amount of attention, I immediately thought that he must not like me.

So instead of continuing to go crazy, I sat him down and talked to him. I didn't yell, but I did get emotional. I simply explained to him that regardless of what I know and feel in my heart, that after a while a girl starts to feel like, "What the hell is wrong with ME?" I explained to him that I was happy being with him and living with him and that I was fine waiting to get married - but that I would appreciate it if it was sooner rather than later.

And then I asked him to be completely honest. Was he not ready to get married because of his feelings for me, or some other reason. Be prepared to hear the truth, if he decides to be honest. I think it's totally normal to be a little scared of marriage, especially if you've never been down that road, but it's important to figure out the base of that fear and if it's something that can be calmed, then work on it.

I really hope everything works out for you and I hope that you can have a chat with him about what you are both feeling. I never think it's okay to give an ulitimatum in any way. If you feel yourself wanting to do that - just leave. He will resent you for making him choose.

Don't you want a guy that wants to propose on his own accordance and not because he was threatened into it?

Anonymous said...

To: 2106
MAN what a bitch you are. Maybe he was looking for some affection or maybe he wanted to have sex with you. Is that SOOO bad.. I think he realized u were still up bitch.. No other word to say but u are a miserable spoiled BITCH

Anonymous said...

Oh my word 1:22! JUMP BACK! I'm thinkin' severe anger problems. Mmmmm hmmmmmm!

Anonymous said...

2101 - I had your thoughts when I had hit the 4 yr mark with my guy but I didn't want to be the girl who gave the ultimatum. I wanted him to WANT to marry me. I waited 3 more years and nothing happened. It made me feel worse. Less worthy. Finally I tried to leave and he proposed. Exactly what I didn't want, a forced proposal. So I said no. But I still can't leave. I'm too far invested.

I still don't believe in marriage ultimatums, but please don't wait as long as I did. It just gets harder.

Anonymous said...

1:22 Back up Sweetie Pie---
Last night, yes just last night my husband asked me if I was asleep. I started laughing remembering what
2106 had said to her ol' man and I said the same thing.....He started laughing.... sometimes it's all in the way you look at things.... so chill 1:22.

Anonymous said...

8:58, 2104 here, and all I can say is he does have an ex wife. Maybe that shoudl ahve told me something abou thim from the get go!!

Anonymous said...

2101 Saying "I hate you" and "I want to be your wife" in the same sentence is a little bit suspect. And I don't think a 4 year courtship is so bad. But only you can know whether it's worth waiting for, or if a proposal is even coming. I wish you good luck.

Anonymous said...

2101:
I was you 5 years ago. Now we're going on 9 years with no proposal. I love him and he loves me...

but?


if you think you'll be wasting 4 more years waiting then you should leave now. It only gets harder as time goes on.

Anonymous said...

How is it wasting your time if you are with the one you love? If both of you are devoted and loyal to eachother, then how can that be "wasting" time?

Anonymous said...

1:22 - O my RELAX...

Anonymous said...

I'm 2:15am.
I don't think it's wasting time, if you're with the one you love then it's all worth it... even if the end result isn't the one you want.

2101 said she didn't want to waste the next 4 years. So if she thinks she's wasting her time now or will be wasting the next 4 years then she should bow out now.

Anonymous said...

For some people, dating is all they're looking for. But other people see dating as a path towards marriage. For people in the second group, dating someone they love for a prolonged period of time, when that person has no desire to marry them is a "waste of time."

Anonymous said...

It is wasting time after four years when you want to get married and have his children and a house and a life together not just DATING for the rest of our lives. When you are ready for marriage and he isn't, it feels like you are wasting time.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's that I have way too many friends who left the guy they were with because they felt they were wasting time and in turn, found a guy they liked, got married, had kids and really aren't happy and still regret leaving the first guy.

When did getting married become more about the status and less about the person you spend the rest of your life with?

I totally understand having that feeling of "when is my life going to start?", but its shouldn't only start when one gets married or has babies. That sure gives someone another reason to enjoy life, but it shouldn't be the only reason.

Anonymous said...

I think it depends on your own personal goals and what's important to you individually. I'm really happy at my mid-level government job, and if I stay in this position forever, I'll be just fine. My brother, on the other hand, has always wanted to run something, and if he had to be a "mid-level" employee for ever he'd feel horribly unfulfilled and as though he was wasting his time and talent. Different people need different things to feel happy. And that's ok.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you 2:25 maybe she feels fulfilled in the relationship but wants to share their love in a marriage and with children. Life is about moving from place(steps) no one wants to stay stuck in place forever.

Anonymous said...

:D This is the most productive comment section I have read in a long time. All of your responses are valid and make sense. It really does depend on what the person wants and needs in their lives.

Anonymous said...

It's really hard to not take it personally when you realize that you are ready to get married and your partner isn't. And it's usually not personal, or having anything to do with their feelings for you.
It's a huge step, which some find scary regardless of the person that they would make that big step with. There's also the thought that once the marriage begins, that things will change.
My mom gave me the best advice and that was to marry the person as they are at that exact moment. Plenty of things changes, but all those annoying habits and not-so-flattering vices usually don't - so don't go into the marriage expecting your partner to all of a sudden stop smoking or stop complaining or start cleaning the house more. But also understand that the things that do change over the years are the things that will test a marriage and make or break it.

I can't write that to really amke sense, so sorry. haha.

sarah said...

12:55, you made perfect sense, and it's great advice.

Anonymous said...

To 2101, why do you want to marry THIS guy? Isn't it saying something when you are happy one minute, then angry and depressed the next? Do you think getting married to this guy will change your mood swings?

Anonymous said...

12:55 that is awesome advice.
4:41 she isnt having mood swings to have mood swings, she is emotional about the situation, why does she want to marry the guy? Obviously she loves him?

Anonymous said...

I can see 4:41's point. She never really said why she wanted to marry him, just that she wanted to get married after four years of dating as though there's an expiration date to their relationship.

These are the types of relationships (you know, "we need to get married or I'm leaving" ultimatum) I have personally witnessed marrying and ending in divorce. They get so wrapped up in planning their wedding for about a year only to ask for a good divorce attorney shortly thereafter.

Expectations.

Anonymous said...

re:

Anonymous said...

Leaving isnt always that easy DUDE

10:17 AM


i never said it was easy! but then again, neither is staying and having someone rip your heart out, day after day...

Anonymous said...

some many of my married friends (I'm 26 if that makes a difference) got married to simply get married. They felt the age of 25 coming on too quickly and the feelings of "needing" to have children before 30 and so they threatened their way into marriage and many of them are very unhappy. They, of course, love thier children - but would do it over if they could.

While I understand loving someone and wanting to have their kids and wanting to start your life with them, shouldn't that all be done when BOTH people are ready?

Anonymous said...

2103: Ooo.. that last comment of 'they run their fucking mouths and don't know when to shut the fuck up.' .....My fiance says that too.

Or, the part about wanting to punch me in the mouth...

He says that too.

He has a NASTY NASTY temper, he has never once tried to physically hurt me, but it still hurts me more than words can say that he can say those things TO ME, AND not appologize.

His parents always told him that he better straighten out his temper, or I'll be gone.

I'm not married yet....