Confession #1121
Honey,
As I sat across the table from you tonight and watched you eat that enormous salad with Emeril's "Bam" all over it I couldn't help but think of how unattracted I was to you. I mean, kudos for losing the 140lb in 7 months. Unfortunatley now you look like an anorexic freak, like a melted form of your former self. You're all boney and your skin is flabby. It is a complete turn off and that is why we no longer have sex. I'm hoping that someday you decide to pick up a barbell and start packing on some muscle. Right now you look like a clothes hanger in your shirts. Have a fucking sandwich for christsake.
Oh, and this business of "going off my antidepressants" is driving me crazy. Your mood swings are just about more than I can handle. You mostly act like a 4 year old and I feel like slapping you silly. Get a fucking grip. Life is hard. All your "flooding emotions" make me want to throw up.
Grow up and gain some weight.
Confession #1122
I think the affairs I am having are saving our marriage. I actually love you more and our sex life has gotten a little better. Part of it is that I know that other men (also married) find me attractive - I'm not waiting for you to say anymore. I actually mean it when I tell you that I love you, for the first time in years.
Confession #1123
I wish that I could open up to you and let you know what I feel. But every time I've tried, you throw everything back in my face.
I wish you would realize that every time you treat me like crap, I hate you just a little more. Long ago the hate overtook the love.
I wish we'd never moved to the city together. You talked me into a place that costs too much for one salary, so I couldn't throw you out.
I wish you'd just go ahead and leave, like you tried to do in the past. I was stupid then, afraid of being alone. I'm not now.
Confession #1124
Everyone always tells me how lucky I am to have
married you. I agree with that statement on my end but
you, poor man, were doomed from the day you met me.
I don't really understand why you treat me so well.
Why you allow me to dictate every waking moment of
your life. Why you allow me to stay in bed all day
while you play with the kids and clean the house only
to be yelled at by me when you quietly come into the
bedroom to ask me what I'd like for dinner.
I make more money than you do. This doesn't bother you
at all but it does bother me. Why don't you try
harder? Why don't you go back to school? Why don't you
do something so that I won't have to keep going to
this job that I despise and can do something that I
might actually enjoy for less money?
Why do I feel like you're obligated to do this for me?
Confession #1125
I don't particulary care about sex with you. I'm
prefectly happy not doing it but this is the one thing
that you try to force your will on. I've been woken up
on so many occasions with my underwear pulled down and
you trying to force my legs open.
Last night, I told you the next time I would call the
police and have you arrested for rape. I've told you
this before and it hasn't stopped you yet. I ask
myself why don't I just give in to sex a couple of
times a week or just end it all already and divorce
you so you can find someone who enjoys your nocturnal
advances.
Confession #1126
We've been together for 11 years now. I've already
cheated on you twice, both times ended every badly as
I became immediately needy and clingy to these men. It
wasn't about the sex but rather being around a man who
I found exciting and smarter than I was.
Someone who made their own decisions. Someone who had
ambition. Someone who treated me badly.
You don't know about those other men and I have no
intention to tell you. I like to think it's because it
would hurt you too badly and I haven't done it for
going on 6 years now but in reality, it's because I
want to keep the door open for other opportunities. I
don't want you looking over my shoulder.
There's another man at work who fits all the
aforementioned criteria. I know that if I continue
working there we will both end up cheating on our
spouses. I know it yet I am hoping it happens. I
daydream about him and make little excuses to stop by
his office.
He invites me to go out with a group of people after
work but I haven't gone. Yet. I know it's wrong and I
know it only end in tears. Why am I doing this to us?
Why can't you see that I can't be the one in control
because I only fuck everything up? Why can't you see
that?
Confession #1127
WHY oh why must you sulk and pout like a big wimpy baby when I ask you to do anything with my family? Why do you feel free to talk badly about my mother and my brother and just let everything with your ANNOYING family (especially your mother) just go??? I am sick of keeping my family on hold until the very last minute for Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. If my family did this, you would be pissed, but since it's your family, no big deal. I am sick sick sick of your silent act, and frankly, I don't give a shit right now if you ever talk to me again.
Confession #1128
More often than not, I wish you’d drop dead.
Confession #1129
Here's a shout out to anonymous confessing - I love that I can write in and see my thoughts and feelings in type, and share them with you all out there. Ladies, whoever you are, I love our common thread. Even if often times our common threads are idiot males who are putting us through living hell.
Here's my latest. I hate to say that my feelings for you have changed so much - when I thought so highly of marriage and committment, and all that goes along with those things. I used to preach like I knew what I was talking about - it was easy to do before I was actually married. I knew it wouldn't be easy - and I am okay with that, but what I didn't realize was that when we got married, that I would lose all of my physical attraction to you. We went out recently and every time you touched me I wanted to run screaming in the other direction. You talked to another girl most of the night at that party, and you know what? I WANTED you to take her home. Knowing that that would be the last thing on earth you would ever do ... but why not? Please. Have an affair. Fall in love with someone who isn't me. Do something so I won't feel like such a complete ass for wanting out of our marriage. You are the best man on the planet. And what I want is sex. Not from you. I know that I should be careful about what I wish for - I may just get it. But you know what? I deserve it. I should be miserable for awhile. I had an affair. I've already started lying to new guys I meet about what my life is like. And I know that there isn't another you out there. I don't know what to do, and baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I have to do this alone for awhile - maybe a long while. Maybe forever.
Confession #1130
I'm so tired of your temper. You think just because you've never hit me that it's okay. It's not. You're impatience with the kids isn't okay either. I know that they're annoying. I know that they whine. I know that they cry at the drop of a hat and then continue to cry for half an hour. I'm the one that's here with them ALL.DAY.LONG. Is it too much to ask that when you're home for the 2 1/2 hours until bedtime that you are patient and kind and don't yell at them constantly? Things here are relatively happy until you come home- then everyone is crying until I put them in bed. They're kids. It's what they do. They're a heck of a lot easier to deal with if you treat them with respect and love rather then demands and knee jerk reactions.
I don't know what's happened to you. But I don't like it.
If I ever chance to bring up something you may do differently parenting-wise it's met with anger and you throwing back into my face my lack of perfection. I know I'm not perfect. Believe me. But do you think maybe that since I'm the one that spends 24/7 with these kids and since I'm the one that reads the books, magazines, and websites about child rearing that maybe, just maybe that maybe I might be able to tell you what works a little better? When are you going to realize that half the reason they don't listen to you is that you don't enforce what you say until you've said it 10 times. There's a reason that all I have to do is start counting before they jump- they know that I'm serious when they see that first finger go up. Also- the empty threats? That doesn't work either. They know very well that you're not going to throw all their toys away, make them walk home on the freeway, or make them sleep in the backyard. They're not dumb.
Neither am I. Yet I feel like you think I am whenever I make a comment you don't agree with. I don't think you realize how much I read and study about politics, history, different religions, the environment ect. But if I don't agree with you then I must be wrong. I miss talking to you. Now you're not interested in hearing me talk- just having me listen. Sometimes I have things to say too. But I don't think you care.
I feel like I'm retreating farther and farther into myself when you're around. I'm not free to be me with you- so I save myself for other people. Doesn't that make you at least a little bit sad? It should.
Sometimes I think that I made a huge mistake- that if I'd waited longer I'd have met someone that I'd have been more compatiable with. That makes me sad. Yet- because of the kids I'm not leaving. Yet. You need to get on the ball with your temper and your attitude before you kill off the best part of me.
I hope you read this. I hope you know that it's me writing. Most of all I hope it makes a difference.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
True Wife Confession Room 112 where the play-ahs dwell
Confession #1111
I love him............... I would do him without any shame at all. I would enjoy every minute of it and would be without any conscience because I have NONE........... now I feel better.
Confession #1112
Finding out that your car was repossessed was the bright spot in my dreary day.
I'm just glad I didn't stick around long enough for you to fuck up my credit
too. Oh, and hearing about your eviction last week, that was pretty great too.
Let the new fiance deal with your financial issues. I'm done paying for your
mistakes.
And please, please, please, stop calling me to tell me how wonderful your life
is. I'm pretty cure having no place to live and no car to get to work in isn't
so peachy. I know your life sucks, I'm glad it does. Get over it.
Confession #1113
If I was who you thought I was, would you still love me?
If you knew what I was really like – would you still see goodness in me…somewhere?
If you thought that I had done the things that I have, would you be as disgusted with me as I am?
If you could see past my smile and look beyond the dinner that I just put in front of you, could you see that I am a lost soul.
Do you know that I am crying all day, silently…whilst I laugh and play with the children.
Would it bother you to know that I lock myself in the closet and scream the scream that only the loneliest can?
Do you fucking CARE that I am not an extension of you?
I am so done.
With this
You
Life
I am so, utterly alone.
You have no idea who I am.
Confession #1114
The one thing that drives me insane about my man.
I love you with all my heart. You are by far the best thing that ever happened to me. But when I am watching Lost on Wednesday nights after finally getting the baby to sleep and you're sitting there with me kinda bored because you don't know what's going on, please please PLEASE SHUT UP! Yes, I know I can watch it again the next day online, but I don't care. I like to sit down those three times a week and the whole 6 hours I watch telly and actually HEAR what's going on. I don't wnat to have a conversation with you all through the show. I don't need your running commentary on it. Go find something else to do. Isn't there a football game you can go watch in the bedroom or something like you do during Desperate Housewives?
Confession #1115
From one wife to another:
I want desperately to be a good friend and to be a good person but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to do both. Your husband is a mean, controlling, bully. And I'm scared for you. But you've made it clear to me that you're content with the relationship despite his tendencies towards aggression and that you won't consider leaving him. So now what? A good friend would respect your choices and your marriage and support you in your decision to make this horrible relationship work. But a good person wouldn't sit back, being "supportive" while a woman and her 4 kids were being terrorized next door. Where does that leave me? I've been making myself sick over this.
And I'm really sorry that I offended you yesterday when I said that he needs to get his lazy ass up and get a job, he needs to start respecting all the (paid and unpaid) work you do every day to keep your family afloat, he needs to realize that in consensual relationships sex and affection are earned not demanded, he needs to learn that putting his hands on you is a crime punishable by jail time, and he needs to learn that you are a grown-ass woman who's smart and capable as hell and that you don't need his bullshit. The last thing I wanted to do was "hit you when you were down" and I realize now that it wasn't what you needed to hear at the moment. But sweetie, you DO need to hear it at some point. Because he's not the only one who needs to be convinced of all those things.
Please understand that I care about you a lot, and I'm trying like hell to walk this crazy tightrope of respecting your wishes without disrespecting my own personal sense of human dignity. And please know that if you ever do decide to kick his sorry ass to the curb, I'll be right behind you wearing my big, bad, steel-toed boots.
Confession #1116
hello to the true wife confession fans.
i'm confessing my betrayal to all of you.i thought i was happily married until i met a man that swept me off my feet. i'm the worst person i know my loving husband never did anything to desire what i did after 13 years of marriage i slept with another man (somewhat) he was wonderful to me, maybe i was stupid to think that he really loved me. i almost lost my husband and my family because of this. sure he gave me the moon and stars, and anything i asked for but i told him i was leaving my husband for him, he told me not to because he was not worth me leaving my husband. i tried to convence him that we would be a big happy family. HOW STUPID OF ME!!!!!!!
we stopped seeing each other after of 6 months of pure love. and now i'm back home with my husband and children, but not a day goes by that i don't think about him.
Confession #1117
Two weeks ago, when we argued, it was different. You did it in front of the kids, and we vowed to never do that. You grabbed my wrist, and wouldn't let go. That scared me, since I can never tell when you've been drinking.
Last night, we argued again. Again, you did it in front of the kids, even though I tried to take them out of the room. Again, you've been drinking. This time, you wrapped your hands around my neck, and tried to choke me.
In front of the kids.
It happened so fast, I thought I imagained it. I should have called the police, but I wasn't even sure it even happened. Except our daughter was crying hysterically.
This is from my heart:
If you ever touch me again, it will be the last thing you do. I will get a knife and fucking stab you like an animal. Don't bring out the chola in me. Don't make me do it. I'll fucking ventilate you, and not think twice about it.
Don't test me.
Tell that to your buddies at the country club.
Confession #1118
I already know what I'm putting on your tombstone:
Wonderful father.
Lousy husband.
This is what gets me through the day sometimes.
COnfession #1119
ou arent my husband, or my boyfriend, but youre a man that I live with, so i think that you count...
Ok. buddy...you live with 2 women. You see us clean DAILY. We have a dishwasher-JUST PUT YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN IT! IT IS 1 FOOT AWAY FROM THE SINK! and if it is full...UNLOAD IT! How do you think those clean dishes get out of there??? WE PUT THEM AWAY!!! I realize you are in school and dont have a job, but we do. We work A LOT. And we still manage to clean our large home. When i leave to go to my BF's and you are laying on the couch, then i come home at noon the next day and you are still there....there when i go to work...you obviously have plenty of time to clean. if you have time to watch Family guy and the Simpsons, and Cartoons ALLLLLLL day, then maybe you can find the time to put your dirty cup in the dishwasher. And you need to start cleaning the house. I know you think "it isnt dirty". It isnt dirty bc we clean! You sit and watch us do it! you actually layed onthe couch and watched me vaccuum up the leaves you drag in. And you and i share a bathroom. WIPE YOURE PUBES OUT OF THE SHOWER! They arent from me!! i have blonde hair on my head and no hair anywhere else!!! stop spitting on the sink when you brush!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you leave shit marks in the toliet give it another flush!!! ive asked you A MILLION TIMES ｔｏ ＷＩＰＥ ＹＯＵＲ ＰＵＢＥＳ ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＳＨＯＷＥＲ， ｖｅｒｙ ｎｉｃｌｅｙ， ｂｕｔ ｌａｓｔ ｎｉｇｈｔ ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｗａｓ ｓｈｏｗｅｒｉｎｇ ａｎｄ ｆｏｕｎｄ １ ｓｔｕｃｋ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｉ ｆｌｉｐｐｅｄ ｏｕｔ， ａｎｄ．．．．ｉ ｐｅｅｄ ｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｌｏｏｆａｈ！ ：－）
Confession #1120
I hate you. I have never hated anyone. But you are so full of hate you get nothing better in return. You hate women. You hate yourself. You hated your poor mother, may she rest in peace. You hate everyone and everything around you because everyone is happier and better off than you. You are miserable and pathetic, scrawny and sickly and weak. I left you over three years ago when I was three weeks pregnant because it was right. I wasn't about to subject my innocent baby to your abuse. I was so scared and screwed up and it took me a long time to get back on my feet, but I am, almost. It would help if you paid child support but I really don't care. You never will.
I am beautiful. Period. I was not fat when we were married. All the mooing at me, watching every bite I ate, calling me Babe the Pig? You know what that did to me. That's why you did it. I was a size 6, for god's sake. I was gorgeous and sexy then. And I'm gorgeous and sexy now, and I finally realized it, even with this extra baby weight that I still can't get rid of. I was and still am a fucking bombshell, like Callie on Grey's Anatomy. He thinks so too. He loves my body, my curves, my breasts and thighs and ass. But you tried to make me believe it was because I wasn't sexy that you couldn't keep it up.
I met him just a couple months after I left you, totally by chance, and I knew right away, that very second. And I didn't want a relationship yet - I was so screwed up from all the abuse you dished out, verbal and physical, that I didn't want to go near him. I almost gave him up. But he loved me enough that I'm ok now. I'm not angry at you anymore, but I detest you with every fibre of my being. I'm not scared of you anymore, but if you ever come near me it will be the end of you. I have found my power, finally. I will never see you again. You will never see us, and if you do find us someday, he'll beat the shit out of you. He's much bigger than you, and is so many other things that through genetics or bad upbringing or insecurity you will never be. MY daughter (yes, mine - you've never even seen her) is 2 1/2 now and beautiful and happy and wild and creative, and he loves her like his own. Like you never could, because you can't even stand yourself. And you know, we're not perfect together, me and him. We have grumpy moments, and the 6000 miles between us is so damn hard, but we've stuck it out and we know without a doubt that what we have, however 'imperfect,' is the real thing. But we've never had a fight, and he's never raised a hand to me. We've never even yelled. We're a family, the three of us, and that's something you'll never have. I have hugged and kissed my baby girl goodnight every night of her life (except for that one week I was in Europe for a much-deserved vacation, even on my minimum wage salary), so you can keep your flat screen TV and pile of video game consoles that you seem to think makes your life so much better than mine. If you put them really close to your bed they just might keep you warm.
I love him............... I would do him without any shame at all. I would enjoy every minute of it and would be without any conscience because I have NONE........... now I feel better.
Confession #1112
Finding out that your car was repossessed was the bright spot in my dreary day.
I'm just glad I didn't stick around long enough for you to fuck up my credit
too. Oh, and hearing about your eviction last week, that was pretty great too.
Let the new fiance deal with your financial issues. I'm done paying for your
mistakes.
And please, please, please, stop calling me to tell me how wonderful your life
is. I'm pretty cure having no place to live and no car to get to work in isn't
so peachy. I know your life sucks, I'm glad it does. Get over it.
Confession #1113
If I was who you thought I was, would you still love me?
If you knew what I was really like – would you still see goodness in me…somewhere?
If you thought that I had done the things that I have, would you be as disgusted with me as I am?
If you could see past my smile and look beyond the dinner that I just put in front of you, could you see that I am a lost soul.
Do you know that I am crying all day, silently…whilst I laugh and play with the children.
Would it bother you to know that I lock myself in the closet and scream the scream that only the loneliest can?
Do you fucking CARE that I am not an extension of you?
I am so done.
With this
You
Life
I am so, utterly alone.
You have no idea who I am.
Confession #1114
The one thing that drives me insane about my man.
I love you with all my heart. You are by far the best thing that ever happened to me. But when I am watching Lost on Wednesday nights after finally getting the baby to sleep and you're sitting there with me kinda bored because you don't know what's going on, please please PLEASE SHUT UP! Yes, I know I can watch it again the next day online, but I don't care. I like to sit down those three times a week and the whole 6 hours I watch telly and actually HEAR what's going on. I don't wnat to have a conversation with you all through the show. I don't need your running commentary on it. Go find something else to do. Isn't there a football game you can go watch in the bedroom or something like you do during Desperate Housewives?
Confession #1115
From one wife to another:
I want desperately to be a good friend and to be a good person but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to do both. Your husband is a mean, controlling, bully. And I'm scared for you. But you've made it clear to me that you're content with the relationship despite his tendencies towards aggression and that you won't consider leaving him. So now what? A good friend would respect your choices and your marriage and support you in your decision to make this horrible relationship work. But a good person wouldn't sit back, being "supportive" while a woman and her 4 kids were being terrorized next door. Where does that leave me? I've been making myself sick over this.
And I'm really sorry that I offended you yesterday when I said that he needs to get his lazy ass up and get a job, he needs to start respecting all the (paid and unpaid) work you do every day to keep your family afloat, he needs to realize that in consensual relationships sex and affection are earned not demanded, he needs to learn that putting his hands on you is a crime punishable by jail time, and he needs to learn that you are a grown-ass woman who's smart and capable as hell and that you don't need his bullshit. The last thing I wanted to do was "hit you when you were down" and I realize now that it wasn't what you needed to hear at the moment. But sweetie, you DO need to hear it at some point. Because he's not the only one who needs to be convinced of all those things.
Please understand that I care about you a lot, and I'm trying like hell to walk this crazy tightrope of respecting your wishes without disrespecting my own personal sense of human dignity. And please know that if you ever do decide to kick his sorry ass to the curb, I'll be right behind you wearing my big, bad, steel-toed boots.
Confession #1116
hello to the true wife confession fans.
i'm confessing my betrayal to all of you.i thought i was happily married until i met a man that swept me off my feet. i'm the worst person i know my loving husband never did anything to desire what i did after 13 years of marriage i slept with another man (somewhat) he was wonderful to me, maybe i was stupid to think that he really loved me. i almost lost my husband and my family because of this. sure he gave me the moon and stars, and anything i asked for but i told him i was leaving my husband for him, he told me not to because he was not worth me leaving my husband. i tried to convence him that we would be a big happy family. HOW STUPID OF ME!!!!!!!
we stopped seeing each other after of 6 months of pure love. and now i'm back home with my husband and children, but not a day goes by that i don't think about him.
Confession #1117
Two weeks ago, when we argued, it was different. You did it in front of the kids, and we vowed to never do that. You grabbed my wrist, and wouldn't let go. That scared me, since I can never tell when you've been drinking.
Last night, we argued again. Again, you did it in front of the kids, even though I tried to take them out of the room. Again, you've been drinking. This time, you wrapped your hands around my neck, and tried to choke me.
In front of the kids.
It happened so fast, I thought I imagained it. I should have called the police, but I wasn't even sure it even happened. Except our daughter was crying hysterically.
This is from my heart:
If you ever touch me again, it will be the last thing you do. I will get a knife and fucking stab you like an animal. Don't bring out the chola in me. Don't make me do it. I'll fucking ventilate you, and not think twice about it.
Don't test me.
Tell that to your buddies at the country club.
Confession #1118
I already know what I'm putting on your tombstone:
Wonderful father.
Lousy husband.
This is what gets me through the day sometimes.
COnfession #1119
ou arent my husband, or my boyfriend, but youre a man that I live with, so i think that you count...
Ok. buddy...you live with 2 women. You see us clean DAILY. We have a dishwasher-JUST PUT YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN IT! IT IS 1 FOOT AWAY FROM THE SINK! and if it is full...UNLOAD IT! How do you think those clean dishes get out of there??? WE PUT THEM AWAY!!! I realize you are in school and dont have a job, but we do. We work A LOT. And we still manage to clean our large home. When i leave to go to my BF's and you are laying on the couch, then i come home at noon the next day and you are still there....there when i go to work...you obviously have plenty of time to clean. if you have time to watch Family guy and the Simpsons, and Cartoons ALLLLLLL day, then maybe you can find the time to put your dirty cup in the dishwasher. And you need to start cleaning the house. I know you think "it isnt dirty". It isnt dirty bc we clean! You sit and watch us do it! you actually layed onthe couch and watched me vaccuum up the leaves you drag in. And you and i share a bathroom. WIPE YOURE PUBES OUT OF THE SHOWER! They arent from me!! i have blonde hair on my head and no hair anywhere else!!! stop spitting on the sink when you brush!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you leave shit marks in the toliet give it another flush!!! ive asked you A MILLION TIMES ｔｏ ＷＩＰＥ ＹＯＵＲ ＰＵＢＥＳ ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＳＨＯＷＥＲ， ｖｅｒｙ ｎｉｃｌｅｙ， ｂｕｔ ｌａｓｔ ｎｉｇｈｔ ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｗａｓ ｓｈｏｗｅｒｉｎｇ ａｎｄ ｆｏｕｎｄ １ ｓｔｕｃｋ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｉ ｆｌｉｐｐｅｄ ｏｕｔ， ａｎｄ．．．．ｉ ｐｅｅｄ ｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｌｏｏｆａｈ！ ：－）
Confession #1120
I hate you. I have never hated anyone. But you are so full of hate you get nothing better in return. You hate women. You hate yourself. You hated your poor mother, may she rest in peace. You hate everyone and everything around you because everyone is happier and better off than you. You are miserable and pathetic, scrawny and sickly and weak. I left you over three years ago when I was three weeks pregnant because it was right. I wasn't about to subject my innocent baby to your abuse. I was so scared and screwed up and it took me a long time to get back on my feet, but I am, almost. It would help if you paid child support but I really don't care. You never will.
I am beautiful. Period. I was not fat when we were married. All the mooing at me, watching every bite I ate, calling me Babe the Pig? You know what that did to me. That's why you did it. I was a size 6, for god's sake. I was gorgeous and sexy then. And I'm gorgeous and sexy now, and I finally realized it, even with this extra baby weight that I still can't get rid of. I was and still am a fucking bombshell, like Callie on Grey's Anatomy. He thinks so too. He loves my body, my curves, my breasts and thighs and ass. But you tried to make me believe it was because I wasn't sexy that you couldn't keep it up.
I met him just a couple months after I left you, totally by chance, and I knew right away, that very second. And I didn't want a relationship yet - I was so screwed up from all the abuse you dished out, verbal and physical, that I didn't want to go near him. I almost gave him up. But he loved me enough that I'm ok now. I'm not angry at you anymore, but I detest you with every fibre of my being. I'm not scared of you anymore, but if you ever come near me it will be the end of you. I have found my power, finally. I will never see you again. You will never see us, and if you do find us someday, he'll beat the shit out of you. He's much bigger than you, and is so many other things that through genetics or bad upbringing or insecurity you will never be. MY daughter (yes, mine - you've never even seen her) is 2 1/2 now and beautiful and happy and wild and creative, and he loves her like his own. Like you never could, because you can't even stand yourself. And you know, we're not perfect together, me and him. We have grumpy moments, and the 6000 miles between us is so damn hard, but we've stuck it out and we know without a doubt that what we have, however 'imperfect,' is the real thing. But we've never had a fight, and he's never raised a hand to me. We've never even yelled. We're a family, the three of us, and that's something you'll never have. I have hugged and kissed my baby girl goodnight every night of her life (except for that one week I was in Europe for a much-deserved vacation, even on my minimum wage salary), so you can keep your flat screen TV and pile of video game consoles that you seem to think makes your life so much better than mine. If you put them really close to your bed they just might keep you warm.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
True Wife Confession 111 - the age at which Bilbo Baggins left the Shire
Confession #1101
You say that you love me, but that you don't love me the way a husband should love a wife. You say you are broken and ask me to give you time to figure things out.
I've tried hard to be patient and do whatever I can to help you, but I am running out of gas. I feel empty, alone, and unloved.
I still love you and I am torn between doing whatever it takes to help you and taking care of myself and making sure that I don't get damaged further.
I just know I can't go on much longer like we are. You do nothing more than hug me. You do not kiss me or say "I love you" anymore. I feel like I am reduced to the position of live-in nanny/maid at our house--sleeping in the guest room for the past two weeks.
How much longer is it fair for me to endure this? How much longer until I make myself a priority? This may be working for you, but it is not working for me.
Confession #1102
I just cooked the driest turkey EVER (I really didn't want to kill us with undercooked meat, and we don't have a kitchen thermometer). And I was completely guessing at the gravy (first time I've made it at all), and it came out so lumpy (at least it tasted right)! And yet, you ate it all, cleaned your plate, all the while saying, "Mm, Baby, this is SO GOOD." Thank you for making me feel good about myself after a stressful day for both of us, and making me feel confident in one of the few areas we both enjoy (we have such divergent interests), and that you know is really important to me to be good at. I didn't even mind cleaning up after I cooked tonight. (Here's another confession: I usually hate it. I wish you'd volunteer to clean up more.) (Tonight you DID volunteer! And I said NO! Because I was so blown away that you were being so considerate, even after our stressful day.) I can't wait to get married in September. God I love you.
Confession #1103
I'll never forget when you yelled at me over the phone. The words, "fucking die," will always haunt me of how you really feel. I think you should go find someone who makes you happy. Obviously, being married to you doesn't exactly thrill me at all, anymore
Confession #1104
I have always wanted to tell you this. Your breath stinks and you you have horribly skinny legs. When you stand in front of me and THINK you are sexy......well you are not.
Your legs look like sticks and you are bald. But I love you anyways
Confession #1104
He broke my heart 12 years ago and now he's back. He says he will go to the
ends for the earth for me. I know that you love me to an extent but would
you go that far? Doubtful. He uses words such as "I'm so full of you, My
heart thumps so loudly in my chest when you are thought of", all I get from
you is "Your so full of it". I'm a strong person I know I can make it on my
own with 2 kids, not a doubt in my mind really, but would you let me leave?
or would you try to take away my kids for your own personal selfish reasons,
I know your mother would. She's an evil witchy woman of the worst kind.
Only time will tell.
Confession #1105
Telling me what a great father you could be AFTER convincing me that an
abortion was our ONLY option really fucking hurt. It was beyond
insensitive. Telling me you would have taken me to the doctor's after I
went by myself wasn't so great either. Finding out that the reason you
abandoned me while I was pregnant was that you were seeing an 18 YEAR
OLD GIRL hurt me more than you can imagine.
I am so thankful that neither myself or a child will be stuck with you
for the rest of our lives. But I will never ever forgive you for making
me give up on the one person I know I could have loved. I gave up
everything for you, for us. I did everything you asked. How could you?
Every word out of your mouth has been a lie. You broke every promise
you ever made to me.
The sad part is, after all you've put me through, I still love you.
Well, I don't love YOU, I love who you used to be. I love the man who
sent me flowers at work and held the door and brought coffee to the
office on his days off. I miss the terribly sweet, romantic, loving man
that I gave my life to. You are not that man anymore, and I hate you
for it.
Confession #1106
I think the reason I've gained about 20 pounds in the last 4 months is because I don't want to swap again. I know I agreed to it and liked it, but that's the problem- I liked it too much and I don't want to end up doing something stupid like doing it behind your back. I hate that I've gained the weight but I don't want to feel sexy... not to anyone but you. On the other hand I hate the weight and I miss the compliments and looks from other men. I guess I lack self control. I love you, husband.
Confession #1107
Does everyone have a certain 'someone' (obviously not their husband) that they day dream about a bit too frequently and would so like to act upon it, but don't ??? Because in the six years that I have been married, I have ALWAYS had crushes on different men at different times. Even when the marriage is going well.
Well, now I know that I can act on my current crush if I want. And people, I DO need to have some great sex. I know that the reality is it probably wouldn't be as incredible as I imagine it could be...but I sooo want to.
I try, I really have tried to make my husband better in bed. But, he is a SELFISH lover. He couldn't care less whether I come or not. Says he does, but never does anything about it. I do everything. He complains that we don't do it enough, but he actually never initiates it anymore. He watches way too much porn, and I think he thinks that that is how you are supposed to fuck someone. That I am going to have some huge orgasm by blowing him or something. Have tried explaining the term FAKE ORGASM, and that these women are acting (uh-hem). But, he just doesn't get it - and obviously does not get it, because I fake it all the time.
I know that if I act on this, it could all end in tears. I don't want to fall in love with anyone else, and I do want to be married (mostly) to my husband. But the most of the time, the sex is just not good. And there is only so much a vibrator can do, right?
I feel very guilty even writing this. But saying that, am I seriously going to have not even semi-good sex with this man for the rest of my life??????????
Confession #1108
I know we said we weren't buying Christmas presents for each other
this year. We're traveling for family and spending for them, and we
need to be wise monetarily. I know that. But even if you usually
take 2 years to pick out whatever lotion or other object from a kiosk
in the mall that you think I'll enjoy, I like your presents the most.
You really care about picking them out. I secretly hope you get me
one anyway.
Confession #1109
I love my husband more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something. I think about past relationships and think, what if. I would never tell my husband this, I would never want to hurt him, but I want to know what I missed. I won't risk it now because I have a family and I don't want to hurt anyone.
Confession #1110
Do you know what dear husband? I'm so sick of you using your back injury as
an excuse to not do things. Well, things that *I* need you to do. It hurts
so bad, you just had to sleep all day. But the next day, you are up and out
of the house right behind me to go hunting or whatever. NOT FAIR.
You wonder why I get pissed off when you go away for a few days, leaving me
with all the housework, childcare, etc.? Have you ever thought that maybe
*I* would like a day or two away, with no responsibilities? But that's not
possible, because unlike you, I have to get my tired, cranky ass up every
day and go to work. To a job I absolutely hate. Why is it too much to ask
to have you help me get our son ready, so I'm not late for work every day.
Also, when you say you are going to the store for something, and I say, ok,
there's XX amount of money, and you come home and say you spent twice that
much, regardless of what you bought, I'm allowed to be pissed off that you
fucked up my budget, AGAIN! Your compulsive shopping habits are driving me
absolutely insane. I'm sick and tired of being so fussy about money,
because you can't stop screwing the budget up. YOU FIGURE OUT BILLS on our
limited money, since you still aren't back to work. When was the last time
I bought myself something? HUH? A very long fucking time. Yet you always
go out and get whatever you want for yourself. NOT FAIR!
Deep down, I'm almost not afraid if you leave. I'm a bitch? Buddy, you
don't know how good you fricking have it. You will NEVER find someone else
to put up with the shit you put me through on a daily basis. Yes I may
overreact to some things, but you drive me to it, constantly.
I could go on, but what's the point. Nothing will change, even if you did
read this.
You say that you love me, but that you don't love me the way a husband should love a wife. You say you are broken and ask me to give you time to figure things out.
I've tried hard to be patient and do whatever I can to help you, but I am running out of gas. I feel empty, alone, and unloved.
I still love you and I am torn between doing whatever it takes to help you and taking care of myself and making sure that I don't get damaged further.
I just know I can't go on much longer like we are. You do nothing more than hug me. You do not kiss me or say "I love you" anymore. I feel like I am reduced to the position of live-in nanny/maid at our house--sleeping in the guest room for the past two weeks.
How much longer is it fair for me to endure this? How much longer until I make myself a priority? This may be working for you, but it is not working for me.
Confession #1102
I just cooked the driest turkey EVER (I really didn't want to kill us with undercooked meat, and we don't have a kitchen thermometer). And I was completely guessing at the gravy (first time I've made it at all), and it came out so lumpy (at least it tasted right)! And yet, you ate it all, cleaned your plate, all the while saying, "Mm, Baby, this is SO GOOD." Thank you for making me feel good about myself after a stressful day for both of us, and making me feel confident in one of the few areas we both enjoy (we have such divergent interests), and that you know is really important to me to be good at. I didn't even mind cleaning up after I cooked tonight. (Here's another confession: I usually hate it. I wish you'd volunteer to clean up more.) (Tonight you DID volunteer! And I said NO! Because I was so blown away that you were being so considerate, even after our stressful day.) I can't wait to get married in September. God I love you.
Confession #1103
I'll never forget when you yelled at me over the phone. The words, "fucking die," will always haunt me of how you really feel. I think you should go find someone who makes you happy. Obviously, being married to you doesn't exactly thrill me at all, anymore
Confession #1104
I have always wanted to tell you this. Your breath stinks and you you have horribly skinny legs. When you stand in front of me and THINK you are sexy......well you are not.
Your legs look like sticks and you are bald. But I love you anyways
Confession #1104
He broke my heart 12 years ago and now he's back. He says he will go to the
ends for the earth for me. I know that you love me to an extent but would
you go that far? Doubtful. He uses words such as "I'm so full of you, My
heart thumps so loudly in my chest when you are thought of", all I get from
you is "Your so full of it". I'm a strong person I know I can make it on my
own with 2 kids, not a doubt in my mind really, but would you let me leave?
or would you try to take away my kids for your own personal selfish reasons,
I know your mother would. She's an evil witchy woman of the worst kind.
Only time will tell.
Confession #1105
Telling me what a great father you could be AFTER convincing me that an
abortion was our ONLY option really fucking hurt. It was beyond
insensitive. Telling me you would have taken me to the doctor's after I
went by myself wasn't so great either. Finding out that the reason you
abandoned me while I was pregnant was that you were seeing an 18 YEAR
OLD GIRL hurt me more than you can imagine.
I am so thankful that neither myself or a child will be stuck with you
for the rest of our lives. But I will never ever forgive you for making
me give up on the one person I know I could have loved. I gave up
everything for you, for us. I did everything you asked. How could you?
Every word out of your mouth has been a lie. You broke every promise
you ever made to me.
The sad part is, after all you've put me through, I still love you.
Well, I don't love YOU, I love who you used to be. I love the man who
sent me flowers at work and held the door and brought coffee to the
office on his days off. I miss the terribly sweet, romantic, loving man
that I gave my life to. You are not that man anymore, and I hate you
for it.
Confession #1106
I think the reason I've gained about 20 pounds in the last 4 months is because I don't want to swap again. I know I agreed to it and liked it, but that's the problem- I liked it too much and I don't want to end up doing something stupid like doing it behind your back. I hate that I've gained the weight but I don't want to feel sexy... not to anyone but you. On the other hand I hate the weight and I miss the compliments and looks from other men. I guess I lack self control. I love you, husband.
Confession #1107
Does everyone have a certain 'someone' (obviously not their husband) that they day dream about a bit too frequently and would so like to act upon it, but don't ??? Because in the six years that I have been married, I have ALWAYS had crushes on different men at different times. Even when the marriage is going well.
Well, now I know that I can act on my current crush if I want. And people, I DO need to have some great sex. I know that the reality is it probably wouldn't be as incredible as I imagine it could be...but I sooo want to.
I try, I really have tried to make my husband better in bed. But, he is a SELFISH lover. He couldn't care less whether I come or not. Says he does, but never does anything about it. I do everything. He complains that we don't do it enough, but he actually never initiates it anymore. He watches way too much porn, and I think he thinks that that is how you are supposed to fuck someone. That I am going to have some huge orgasm by blowing him or something. Have tried explaining the term FAKE ORGASM, and that these women are acting (uh-hem). But, he just doesn't get it - and obviously does not get it, because I fake it all the time.
I know that if I act on this, it could all end in tears. I don't want to fall in love with anyone else, and I do want to be married (mostly) to my husband. But the most of the time, the sex is just not good. And there is only so much a vibrator can do, right?
I feel very guilty even writing this. But saying that, am I seriously going to have not even semi-good sex with this man for the rest of my life??????????
Confession #1108
I know we said we weren't buying Christmas presents for each other
this year. We're traveling for family and spending for them, and we
need to be wise monetarily. I know that. But even if you usually
take 2 years to pick out whatever lotion or other object from a kiosk
in the mall that you think I'll enjoy, I like your presents the most.
You really care about picking them out. I secretly hope you get me
one anyway.
Confession #1109
I love my husband more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something. I think about past relationships and think, what if. I would never tell my husband this, I would never want to hurt him, but I want to know what I missed. I won't risk it now because I have a family and I don't want to hurt anyone.
Confession #1110
Do you know what dear husband? I'm so sick of you using your back injury as
an excuse to not do things. Well, things that *I* need you to do. It hurts
so bad, you just had to sleep all day. But the next day, you are up and out
of the house right behind me to go hunting or whatever. NOT FAIR.
You wonder why I get pissed off when you go away for a few days, leaving me
with all the housework, childcare, etc.? Have you ever thought that maybe
*I* would like a day or two away, with no responsibilities? But that's not
possible, because unlike you, I have to get my tired, cranky ass up every
day and go to work. To a job I absolutely hate. Why is it too much to ask
to have you help me get our son ready, so I'm not late for work every day.
Also, when you say you are going to the store for something, and I say, ok,
there's XX amount of money, and you come home and say you spent twice that
much, regardless of what you bought, I'm allowed to be pissed off that you
fucked up my budget, AGAIN! Your compulsive shopping habits are driving me
absolutely insane. I'm sick and tired of being so fussy about money,
because you can't stop screwing the budget up. YOU FIGURE OUT BILLS on our
limited money, since you still aren't back to work. When was the last time
I bought myself something? HUH? A very long fucking time. Yet you always
go out and get whatever you want for yourself. NOT FAIR!
Deep down, I'm almost not afraid if you leave. I'm a bitch? Buddy, you
don't know how good you fricking have it. You will NEVER find someone else
to put up with the shit you put me through on a daily basis. Yes I may
overreact to some things, but you drive me to it, constantly.
I could go on, but what's the point. Nothing will change, even if you did
read this.
Friday, November 03, 2006
True Wife Confession 110 Supercentenarian!
Confession #1091
From one Mom to another:
Its so sad that if I want to take my son outside, I take him to the park. I can't even go in our back yard to push my son on the swing set anymore. Because when I do, two minutes later, you and your daughter come out. You then say, "She wants to play with your son." Then you walk back into your house before I can even answer a "yes" or "no". I end up feeding her and taking care of her for hours. I'm not here to raise and feed your child. And if you didn't want her in the first place, as you've stated time and time again, you should have USED SOME DAMN BIRTH CONTROL!
You don't even realize how sweet and smart your little girl is. All you see is a responsibility that you didn't want in the first place. She's a tough little girl to survive the almost daily beatings by your 10-year-old autistic child. Every time I see her, she's got bruises, bite marks and some sort of injury. When I ask you about it, you say it is her fault because she got to close to your autistic son. What? Is he a rabid DOG? You LET him bite/scratch/hit her when she gets within a foot of him. You defend him! You say he's smart. Then you need to discipline him for this behavior.
This is the ONLY reason we let her come over to our house. It boils my blood to know I'm doing you a favor. And one you don't even appreciate. But I worry more about your little girl. She needs to be exposed to adults that give her positive attention and praise. She deserves to spend time in an environment where she doesn't have to worry about her brother, or parents hitting her.
Oh and you have a sweet dog too. But you just see her as a pain in the ass too. Your dog repeatedly gets loose. And then we find her on our front porch. This happens almost every night. God only knows what you guys do to the dog...
You're so busy bitching about all of your problems and trying to extract pity from people, you don't even realize the blessings in your life.
Confession #1092
I am so absolutely crazy about you. We have a connection that some people
can only dream of and I cherish our relationship more than anything. You
waited so patiently to be with me and now that we are together, nothing can
come between us. I just hope that we never lose this feeling. I can't
imagine us getting caught up in that 'same boring routine'.
Believe it or not, I love how much of an agitator you are. We are constantly
trying to find ways to bug each other [watch for ice cubes while you're in
the shower. Payback is a b*tch!], but it makes our lives fun and
interesting.
I know that I tend to get paranoid and insecure sometimes, but I know that
you will never leave me. So don't doubt me when I say that I believe you and
trust you.
There are so many things that I love about you. When you greet me at the
door when I get home from work because you get home first, when I say that I
have to do some cleaning and you correct me by saying that "WE have to do
some cleaning," when you wear your cologne to bed just because I LOVE the
smell [Coastline, ladies!]...I could continue forever!
Im yours for as long as you want me and I cant wait to be your wife. I love
you babe!
Yours always.
Confession #1093
I do not know why, but sometimes i obsess about my step-daughters mother. I have not seen or talked to her in months. I should be thrilled with the distance. I just don't trust her. I do not trust what my husband gets himself sucked into. With the holidays approaching I know we will be in for some drama. Because of her I carry a prejudice against women who have babies to have "someone", or to try to trap a husband. Some of my best friends fall into that category.
Confession #1094
It took us so long to get here. I didn't want to rush
you, because I knew you were still hung up on her.
Now that we're finally here, wouldn't it be nice if we
could have sex more often when we're not so drunk.
Remember how nice it was yesterday morning. For the
first time, I think you actually saw ME and it was beautiful
Confession #1095
My dearest:
You stated you wanted to figure out a way for us to be located closer to one another. I laughed it off because I didn't think you meant it, I thought it was part of your regular lip service. You acted hurt and offended and played the victim for a week. Then, I sent you a job posting a week and a half ago that would do just that. Yet, you haven't applied.
Please don't let me be right again. If you don't want to be closer or aren't interested in the job, just tell me. Don't pretend. I can't take another disappointment from you. In fact, I've determined this will be the last one.
Confession #1096
I love you. You are a fantastic husband, and wonderful father. Every day I wonder how I got so lucky as to marry you and raise kids with you. I look forward to our years together.
That said, there are times that I think about you dying. I don't want you to die. But I know that the first thing I would do, after grieving and trying to get my life back in order, would be to hire people to do all the fix-it jobs around the house that go undone. I know it's not because you're lazy. You are the last thing from lazy. But you refuse to hire anybody to do things like fix the roof, fix a ceiling, resurface a bathtub, anything like that. I think the only times we've called repairmen in the last year was to have the water heater replaced and the fridge fixed.
I appreciate that you are so handy around the house. I do. I think it's awesome that you can rewire things and fix things and the way you fixed the garbage disposal? Awesome.
But please, can't we hire a few people to do things so you don't have to worry about not getting around to them? Between the kids, who you love to spend time with, and your job, which is busy, I understand that you have a hard time carving out time to get to these jobs. Can we just hire somebody to fix the damn hole in the ceiling in our bedroom? We aren't poor. We could afford it. I get tired of hearing, "I can do that myself and save money" when the thing in question remains undone and you stress about it.
I would miss you terribly if you died. On the other hand, I would be calling repairmen so fast after a few months that it wouldn't be funny.
Confession #1097
Dearest husband,
Do you know how you like to make your coffee in the morning, and just leave a big coffee and water mess on the counter, right in the same spot where I also need to make my tea? And you know how you will no longer use *my* dish towel for any reason, because it sometimes gets used to wipe the counter and you just can't fathom touching such a filthy towel? And how you've decided to have your own dish towel on a separate rack under the sink, so that it's there for the bazillion times that you wash your hands everyday? Well, thank you, sweetheart, because you've helped me find the perfect solution to your daily coffee/water mess.
Today, I used your precious, special dish towel to clean up the ridiculous coffee and water mess that you leave for me on the counter every day. Then when I was done, I wiped the dog's wet paws with the precious dish towel before I hung it back on your rack under the sink.
And it felt so darn good that I've decided I'm going to do that every day.
Confession #1098
When I tell you that you didn't tell me that you had a business trip scheduled, DO NOT INSIST that you did tell me. I write this shit DOWN. I have to move all sorts of things around, believe me, I take notice of when you will be gone. Besides, you are the one with shit for memory, not me.
Confession #1099
I am angry at you for leaving me, you would think that 13 years later I would be over it, but still the very thought of losing you makes the wound feel as fresh as the day they told me you were gone. You were my first best friend, my first real love and I wasn't even mature enough to realize it. I thought that when you moved that was loss, but later when you took your own life - you would show me what real loss was. I have screamed at thunderstorms, cried in the wind, and to no avail. Nothing brings closure, nothing heals this hurt.
To have someone like you in my life, to believe that I am loved unconditionally ,and then to have that taken away - it makes me think I will never be able to trust or love anyone again. I'm afraid that no one will ever love me, the way you did. I am afraid that for the rest of my life they very thought of you will always reduce me to hurt and tears. I'm afraid I will never be able to let you go, even though you left me and didn't even call to say good-bye.
Confession #1100
For the past two months, I have been talking to my ex and even went out to dinner with him twice. We've also recently been enjoying some really steamy phone calls and text messages together.
We plan on meeting up again in the very near future to act out some of those conversations.
I do love you. You're a good man and a wonderful life partner, but no matter how many times we've talked about it, you still do not seem interested in sex with me, or sex at all, for that matter. It's like you're embarrassed or ashamed of it. We only had sex ONCE on our honeymoon, for fuck's sake! That should've been a giveaway right there, but I was either too naive or just deeply in denial to question it.
Your idea of a wild time is getting me from behind. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. You don't like porn, you're not interested if I wear lingerie for you, you don't like talking during sex, don't want to share your fantasies with me (do you even HAVE any?), you have no idea what foreplay is. On the rare occasions I do get lucky, you jump out of bed immediately afterwards like you're on fire, and clean yourself up like it's just one big mess. Most of the time, though, you just seem completely asexual. I know you're not gay, but I don't know what your problem is. I've asked you so many times to try something different, but you're resistant. I have no idea why. I'm considered attractive by most people and I shouldn't have to go through the rest of my life like this. The few people in my life who know about this issue with us can't believe it. They can't believe that you're giving up sex with me to watch the fucking Masters on TV. They all think you're an idiot, and in fact your best guy friend knows about this and has encouraged me several times to "do what I need to do" to get some on the side. Even HE thinks I should cheat on you. How fucked up is that??? I'd never tell him, of course.
Anyway, I know what I'm doing/about to do is wrong, but I suppose I'm just being selfish that way. Just like you're being selfish about upholding the physical end of the deal in our marriage. I mean, you're supposed to be the only person I'm having sex with...yet you're more interested in watching sports and golfing. So what else can I do? I'm out of ideas.
Aside from the lack of physical contact, you and I have a good marriage. I don't want to divorce you. You're kind, smart, stable. Our families like each other. You will be a good father, if we can ever manage to have enough sex to conceive. But I'm unwilling to give up hot, slammed-up-against-a-wall sex for the rest of my life just yet. I'm still young, in good shape, and I want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
My ex is the perfect person to take care of me on the side. True, he's still living his life as he was 10 years ago, and I have moved on and grown up. But a part of me still loves him, and I truly believe he is my soulmate. However, we would've never lasted as a couple. He's just too irresponsible and has too much emotional baggage. But he's the perfect "friend-with-benefits" for me right now. I feel safe with him, and he makes me feel beautiful. He encourages me to flaunt my sexuality--loves it, as a matter of fact--and is confident and eager to satisfy me. Which is way more than can be said about you. He tells me that I should be getting it every night from you, but if you're not up for the task, he's more than happy to do it for you.
So I'm sorry in advance, honey, if I decide to pull the trigger and act on this. And I hope you NEVER find out.
From one Mom to another:
Its so sad that if I want to take my son outside, I take him to the park. I can't even go in our back yard to push my son on the swing set anymore. Because when I do, two minutes later, you and your daughter come out. You then say, "She wants to play with your son." Then you walk back into your house before I can even answer a "yes" or "no". I end up feeding her and taking care of her for hours. I'm not here to raise and feed your child. And if you didn't want her in the first place, as you've stated time and time again, you should have USED SOME DAMN BIRTH CONTROL!
You don't even realize how sweet and smart your little girl is. All you see is a responsibility that you didn't want in the first place. She's a tough little girl to survive the almost daily beatings by your 10-year-old autistic child. Every time I see her, she's got bruises, bite marks and some sort of injury. When I ask you about it, you say it is her fault because she got to close to your autistic son. What? Is he a rabid DOG? You LET him bite/scratch/hit her when she gets within a foot of him. You defend him! You say he's smart. Then you need to discipline him for this behavior.
This is the ONLY reason we let her come over to our house. It boils my blood to know I'm doing you a favor. And one you don't even appreciate. But I worry more about your little girl. She needs to be exposed to adults that give her positive attention and praise. She deserves to spend time in an environment where she doesn't have to worry about her brother, or parents hitting her.
Oh and you have a sweet dog too. But you just see her as a pain in the ass too. Your dog repeatedly gets loose. And then we find her on our front porch. This happens almost every night. God only knows what you guys do to the dog...
You're so busy bitching about all of your problems and trying to extract pity from people, you don't even realize the blessings in your life.
Confession #1092
I am so absolutely crazy about you. We have a connection that some people
can only dream of and I cherish our relationship more than anything. You
waited so patiently to be with me and now that we are together, nothing can
come between us. I just hope that we never lose this feeling. I can't
imagine us getting caught up in that 'same boring routine'.
Believe it or not, I love how much of an agitator you are. We are constantly
trying to find ways to bug each other [watch for ice cubes while you're in
the shower. Payback is a b*tch!], but it makes our lives fun and
interesting.
I know that I tend to get paranoid and insecure sometimes, but I know that
you will never leave me. So don't doubt me when I say that I believe you and
trust you.
There are so many things that I love about you. When you greet me at the
door when I get home from work because you get home first, when I say that I
have to do some cleaning and you correct me by saying that "WE have to do
some cleaning," when you wear your cologne to bed just because I LOVE the
smell [Coastline, ladies!]...I could continue forever!
Im yours for as long as you want me and I cant wait to be your wife. I love
you babe!
Yours always.
Confession #1093
I do not know why, but sometimes i obsess about my step-daughters mother. I have not seen or talked to her in months. I should be thrilled with the distance. I just don't trust her. I do not trust what my husband gets himself sucked into. With the holidays approaching I know we will be in for some drama. Because of her I carry a prejudice against women who have babies to have "someone", or to try to trap a husband. Some of my best friends fall into that category.
Confession #1094
It took us so long to get here. I didn't want to rush
you, because I knew you were still hung up on her.
Now that we're finally here, wouldn't it be nice if we
could have sex more often when we're not so drunk.
Remember how nice it was yesterday morning. For the
first time, I think you actually saw ME and it was beautiful
Confession #1095
My dearest:
You stated you wanted to figure out a way for us to be located closer to one another. I laughed it off because I didn't think you meant it, I thought it was part of your regular lip service. You acted hurt and offended and played the victim for a week. Then, I sent you a job posting a week and a half ago that would do just that. Yet, you haven't applied.
Please don't let me be right again. If you don't want to be closer or aren't interested in the job, just tell me. Don't pretend. I can't take another disappointment from you. In fact, I've determined this will be the last one.
Confession #1096
I love you. You are a fantastic husband, and wonderful father. Every day I wonder how I got so lucky as to marry you and raise kids with you. I look forward to our years together.
That said, there are times that I think about you dying. I don't want you to die. But I know that the first thing I would do, after grieving and trying to get my life back in order, would be to hire people to do all the fix-it jobs around the house that go undone. I know it's not because you're lazy. You are the last thing from lazy. But you refuse to hire anybody to do things like fix the roof, fix a ceiling, resurface a bathtub, anything like that. I think the only times we've called repairmen in the last year was to have the water heater replaced and the fridge fixed.
I appreciate that you are so handy around the house. I do. I think it's awesome that you can rewire things and fix things and the way you fixed the garbage disposal? Awesome.
But please, can't we hire a few people to do things so you don't have to worry about not getting around to them? Between the kids, who you love to spend time with, and your job, which is busy, I understand that you have a hard time carving out time to get to these jobs. Can we just hire somebody to fix the damn hole in the ceiling in our bedroom? We aren't poor. We could afford it. I get tired of hearing, "I can do that myself and save money" when the thing in question remains undone and you stress about it.
I would miss you terribly if you died. On the other hand, I would be calling repairmen so fast after a few months that it wouldn't be funny.
Confession #1097
Dearest husband,
Do you know how you like to make your coffee in the morning, and just leave a big coffee and water mess on the counter, right in the same spot where I also need to make my tea? And you know how you will no longer use *my* dish towel for any reason, because it sometimes gets used to wipe the counter and you just can't fathom touching such a filthy towel? And how you've decided to have your own dish towel on a separate rack under the sink, so that it's there for the bazillion times that you wash your hands everyday? Well, thank you, sweetheart, because you've helped me find the perfect solution to your daily coffee/water mess.
Today, I used your precious, special dish towel to clean up the ridiculous coffee and water mess that you leave for me on the counter every day. Then when I was done, I wiped the dog's wet paws with the precious dish towel before I hung it back on your rack under the sink.
And it felt so darn good that I've decided I'm going to do that every day.
Confession #1098
When I tell you that you didn't tell me that you had a business trip scheduled, DO NOT INSIST that you did tell me. I write this shit DOWN. I have to move all sorts of things around, believe me, I take notice of when you will be gone. Besides, you are the one with shit for memory, not me.
Confession #1099
I am angry at you for leaving me, you would think that 13 years later I would be over it, but still the very thought of losing you makes the wound feel as fresh as the day they told me you were gone. You were my first best friend, my first real love and I wasn't even mature enough to realize it. I thought that when you moved that was loss, but later when you took your own life - you would show me what real loss was. I have screamed at thunderstorms, cried in the wind, and to no avail. Nothing brings closure, nothing heals this hurt.
To have someone like you in my life, to believe that I am loved unconditionally ,and then to have that taken away - it makes me think I will never be able to trust or love anyone again. I'm afraid that no one will ever love me, the way you did. I am afraid that for the rest of my life they very thought of you will always reduce me to hurt and tears. I'm afraid I will never be able to let you go, even though you left me and didn't even call to say good-bye.
Confession #1100
For the past two months, I have been talking to my ex and even went out to dinner with him twice. We've also recently been enjoying some really steamy phone calls and text messages together.
We plan on meeting up again in the very near future to act out some of those conversations.
I do love you. You're a good man and a wonderful life partner, but no matter how many times we've talked about it, you still do not seem interested in sex with me, or sex at all, for that matter. It's like you're embarrassed or ashamed of it. We only had sex ONCE on our honeymoon, for fuck's sake! That should've been a giveaway right there, but I was either too naive or just deeply in denial to question it.
Your idea of a wild time is getting me from behind. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. You don't like porn, you're not interested if I wear lingerie for you, you don't like talking during sex, don't want to share your fantasies with me (do you even HAVE any?), you have no idea what foreplay is. On the rare occasions I do get lucky, you jump out of bed immediately afterwards like you're on fire, and clean yourself up like it's just one big mess. Most of the time, though, you just seem completely asexual. I know you're not gay, but I don't know what your problem is. I've asked you so many times to try something different, but you're resistant. I have no idea why. I'm considered attractive by most people and I shouldn't have to go through the rest of my life like this. The few people in my life who know about this issue with us can't believe it. They can't believe that you're giving up sex with me to watch the fucking Masters on TV. They all think you're an idiot, and in fact your best guy friend knows about this and has encouraged me several times to "do what I need to do" to get some on the side. Even HE thinks I should cheat on you. How fucked up is that??? I'd never tell him, of course.
Anyway, I know what I'm doing/about to do is wrong, but I suppose I'm just being selfish that way. Just like you're being selfish about upholding the physical end of the deal in our marriage. I mean, you're supposed to be the only person I'm having sex with...yet you're more interested in watching sports and golfing. So what else can I do? I'm out of ideas.
Aside from the lack of physical contact, you and I have a good marriage. I don't want to divorce you. You're kind, smart, stable. Our families like each other. You will be a good father, if we can ever manage to have enough sex to conceive. But I'm unwilling to give up hot, slammed-up-against-a-wall sex for the rest of my life just yet. I'm still young, in good shape, and I want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
My ex is the perfect person to take care of me on the side. True, he's still living his life as he was 10 years ago, and I have moved on and grown up. But a part of me still loves him, and I truly believe he is my soulmate. However, we would've never lasted as a couple. He's just too irresponsible and has too much emotional baggage. But he's the perfect "friend-with-benefits" for me right now. I feel safe with him, and he makes me feel beautiful. He encourages me to flaunt my sexuality--loves it, as a matter of fact--and is confident and eager to satisfy me. Which is way more than can be said about you. He tells me that I should be getting it every night from you, but if you're not up for the task, he's more than happy to do it for you.
So I'm sorry in advance, honey, if I decide to pull the trigger and act on this. And I hope you NEVER find out.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
True Wife Confessions 109 Shibuya
Confession #1081
Ten years ago today we married. We stood before our family, our friends and God and committed to each other to make it a lifetime and go the distance.
Three years ago I sat you down and put the apartment listings, daycare locations and job listings I was applying for in front of you because I was done. We were done. I was sick of the disrespect. Sick of being unloved and deemed unlovable. Sick of feeling too young to live the rest of my life like that. Sick of allowing our son to watch and learn how NOT to treat his wife. I put all the print-outs in front of you and told you to choose. Either choose the wife, family, home, LIFE you already have and choose to do it right or choose for me to leave.
To my surprise, you re-chose me. It took a while to re trust the unguarded me with you again but I did and there isn't a minute now that I'm not eternally thankful for it, for you, for us. We're ten years older and ten years wiser with ten years of history behind us and we're better than ever. I can't imagine what my life would be if you'd made the other choice and I'm going to spend the next ten years and longer letting you know how thankful I am to have what we have.
You spent a year not being you and we spent a year not being us. I know neither of us has forgotten that and I think that's a good thing. We're not taking what we have for granted anymore. You're my friend again, my husband again, his dad again, my love again.
I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me and for him. You work so unbelievably hard, away from home so much during the week, so that I can be here with him, caring for him, getting him off the bus, making lunch. When he first joined us I was so set on having a career and now I get a panic attack at the thought of having to get a job which would make it so I was not the one to kiss the boo-boos and slice the apples. Thank you for calming me when the money gets tight and the panic hits and soothing me that we'll figure it out, it'll all be ok.
And then when you are home, you're so engaged, so participating, so loving with him. He IS learning how to be a great husband and father through you. He's got the BEST daddy and I've got the BEST husband.
Happy Anniversary honey. I couldn't have a better life and that's because of you. Thank you for your endless love, support, care, friendship and heart.
Confession #1082
From one wife to another:
Your husband is spineless. If there's a visual for the word "Tool" in the dictionary, it should be a photo of your husband's clueless mug. He's just as neglectful of your children as you are. I feel so bad for your kids... No wonder they have so many problems.
Confession #1083
I confess that I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Perhaps I should be
more succinct. I do love you, but I have fallen out of love with you, and
every time you hurt me I love you less. You hurt me in big ways and
small. You have grabbed my arm and bruised it several times, you have
pushed me onto the floor, you have broken my things and thrown objects and
smashed glass on the floor, and you have expected me to clean up, and I
have. I hate myself for doing those things, but I did them, there's no
denying it. These violent actions have been spread out over 3 or 4 years,
so they seem somewhat diluted I guess. You have insulted my family and my
friends - that's less forgivable than the physical stuff. What wears away
at me is the little things, though. You treat me like a child. I have
supported you in your quest to change careers for three years now. You
have health insurance and a house because of me. I don't deny that you
work your ass off, because you do, but you seem to forget that I do
too. Sometimes you make more money than me; more often, you make less or
none. I know you'll eventually make a good salary, but I feel as though I
am your slave and I am under a microscope all the time. You do nothing
around the house, you complain that you have no clean socks when I'm in the
midst of doing laundry (hello? you can also do laundry! I'm pretty sure
you've done it before...), you smoke cigars and then expect me to love your
smelly self (and you tell everyone you're a non-smoker just because you've
given up cigarettes and pot), and you complain about the lack of sex. The
lack of sex, my friend, is because you are mean to me. I clean the hell
out of the house, and what do you do? You notice a slight film on the
counter in one spot, probably leftover from the soft scrub, that you can
only see in certain light. You can't compliment me or be thankful for the
fact that you do nothing - NOTHING - in our home, you can only find
fault. I work late because the grant I'm paid from runs out soon. I'm
trying really hard to have my boss find a way to get new funding for
me. I'm not cheating on you. If we fail, I'm never, ever going to be in a
relationship again. There is no way under this sun that I want to have
another relationship if we split, especially not one that would involve a
penis. You dictate my time, and you question every move I make when I'm
out of your sight. I AM NOT YOUR EX. I am not the person who cheated on
you. I have such an incredible desire to be devoid of male contact you
should be thrilled. You make me feel like a child. You explain everything
to me, down to how to clean the dishes - that you never wash, by the
way. Um, guess what? I have a brain! I'm pretty fucking
intelligent! Probably more than you! To say nothing of the fact that I've
cleaned a gazillion dishes and bathtubs and counters and rugs and clothing
and...and... and... you don't do any of it. And I do. You aren't allowed
to criticize. If what I do is so bad, YOU do it. I work more than forty
hours a week, and I am also going to school. You have lovely dinners and a
clean house and clean clothing because of me. You have health insurance
because of me. I can't believe you have all of this and you are still mean
and arrogant toward me.
I don't even know why I'm with you anymore.
Confession #1084
Some days the only reason I don't leave you is because all the men who've shown an interest in me are polyamorous and ugly. If I have to settle for an ugly man I'm sure as hell not going to share.
Confession #1085
Do not ignore me when I try to get you up in the morning... one of these days I won't give a damn that you hate cold water and I WILL use it. I'm having a hard time remembering what a great guy you can be when EVERY morning I have to go ahead and get your fat ass outta bed. It makes me madder then you will ever know.
Oh, and when we argue on the phone DO NOT act like a frikkin' child and hang up...
Confession #1086
I love you so much it makes me sick. But I must admit, I was relieved when your mom died. I can't believe I am writing this, it's been my little secret for almost a year.
Confession #1087
I love you with all I have.
BUT. I loathe cuddling with you at night. You have gained over 50 lbs in the 16 years we have shared and after 2 kids, I have a weak bladder, PLUS I am a night sweater- the last thing I want is your dead weight on me when I am trying to sleep. That- and your shaved public region itches my back, which is the real reason I sleep clothed. You tell me I should be lucky to have someone who wants to cuddle? Besides you – who said I didn’t?
Confession #1088
You know, a compliment or two would go a hell of a long way. I'm not talking about gushing or being ridiculous, but SOMETHING - "hey honey, you look really nice" or the occasional "I think you are beautiful". I don't need tons of verbal reassurance, but damn, it would be really good to hear it every once in a while FROM YOU.
Because when the guy at work says it, I light up inside. Thats how I know I miss it, but you say its silly and you shouldn't need to say those things, I should just KNOW them. Still, a girl likes to hear it once in a while.
Confession #1089
From one Mom to another:
Your son's got a drug addiction and he's been trying to sell his wares to the neighbor kids. You don't seem to care. But it KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. I wonder what he'll be inhaling, sniffing, or injecting when he's 17, 18 and older. We've already been a victim of his drug problems. And it keeps me awake at night wondering what else he'll try to steal from us in the future.... He has no conscious nor compassion. Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Confession #1090
It was me who was home with our new baby waiting for you. It was me up late every night so we could see each other. It was me trying so hard to make things easier for you because you were "stressed out from work."
It was you who had a sudden interest in working out everyday. It was you who wanted to shop for clothes. You even showered me and the baby with things. We had family days and took the baby to the beach and the zoo. It was going so well.
I believe you when you say you didn't sleep with her. Perhaps you just hadn't had the chance yet. But you know what? It would have been easier if you had. I would rather you had slept with her, but it was her you were calling every night on your way home from work. It was her that was watching you at your games. It was her you called before you left for your business trips. It was her that would completely change what you stand for.
It was you who held my hands and looked me in the eyes and lied. Over and over you lied. I was overreacting and I didn't understand; it was no big deal; you two are just friends. Even if you didn't sleep with her, you're a liar and a cheat; you're not the person I married.
My confession is that I'm the one who made the mistake. I should've left you then. Because now, two years later, I still can't trust you. You're not my safe place. You're supposed to the one man that's never lied to me. And every time you open your mouth, I question it; the sincerity, the look in your eye. Everyone who knows you says that you're the most honest, stand-up guy they know; they haven't got a clue. And I'm not telling, because now, our baby is little girl who loves her daddy more than anything. And as much as you've let me down, I know you won't let her down.
Ten years ago today we married. We stood before our family, our friends and God and committed to each other to make it a lifetime and go the distance.
Three years ago I sat you down and put the apartment listings, daycare locations and job listings I was applying for in front of you because I was done. We were done. I was sick of the disrespect. Sick of being unloved and deemed unlovable. Sick of feeling too young to live the rest of my life like that. Sick of allowing our son to watch and learn how NOT to treat his wife. I put all the print-outs in front of you and told you to choose. Either choose the wife, family, home, LIFE you already have and choose to do it right or choose for me to leave.
To my surprise, you re-chose me. It took a while to re trust the unguarded me with you again but I did and there isn't a minute now that I'm not eternally thankful for it, for you, for us. We're ten years older and ten years wiser with ten years of history behind us and we're better than ever. I can't imagine what my life would be if you'd made the other choice and I'm going to spend the next ten years and longer letting you know how thankful I am to have what we have.
You spent a year not being you and we spent a year not being us. I know neither of us has forgotten that and I think that's a good thing. We're not taking what we have for granted anymore. You're my friend again, my husband again, his dad again, my love again.
I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me and for him. You work so unbelievably hard, away from home so much during the week, so that I can be here with him, caring for him, getting him off the bus, making lunch. When he first joined us I was so set on having a career and now I get a panic attack at the thought of having to get a job which would make it so I was not the one to kiss the boo-boos and slice the apples. Thank you for calming me when the money gets tight and the panic hits and soothing me that we'll figure it out, it'll all be ok.
And then when you are home, you're so engaged, so participating, so loving with him. He IS learning how to be a great husband and father through you. He's got the BEST daddy and I've got the BEST husband.
Happy Anniversary honey. I couldn't have a better life and that's because of you. Thank you for your endless love, support, care, friendship and heart.
Confession #1082
From one wife to another:
Your husband is spineless. If there's a visual for the word "Tool" in the dictionary, it should be a photo of your husband's clueless mug. He's just as neglectful of your children as you are. I feel so bad for your kids... No wonder they have so many problems.
Confession #1083
I confess that I'm not sure if I love you anymore. Perhaps I should be
more succinct. I do love you, but I have fallen out of love with you, and
every time you hurt me I love you less. You hurt me in big ways and
small. You have grabbed my arm and bruised it several times, you have
pushed me onto the floor, you have broken my things and thrown objects and
smashed glass on the floor, and you have expected me to clean up, and I
have. I hate myself for doing those things, but I did them, there's no
denying it. These violent actions have been spread out over 3 or 4 years,
so they seem somewhat diluted I guess. You have insulted my family and my
friends - that's less forgivable than the physical stuff. What wears away
at me is the little things, though. You treat me like a child. I have
supported you in your quest to change careers for three years now. You
have health insurance and a house because of me. I don't deny that you
work your ass off, because you do, but you seem to forget that I do
too. Sometimes you make more money than me; more often, you make less or
none. I know you'll eventually make a good salary, but I feel as though I
am your slave and I am under a microscope all the time. You do nothing
around the house, you complain that you have no clean socks when I'm in the
midst of doing laundry (hello? you can also do laundry! I'm pretty sure
you've done it before...), you smoke cigars and then expect me to love your
smelly self (and you tell everyone you're a non-smoker just because you've
given up cigarettes and pot), and you complain about the lack of sex. The
lack of sex, my friend, is because you are mean to me. I clean the hell
out of the house, and what do you do? You notice a slight film on the
counter in one spot, probably leftover from the soft scrub, that you can
only see in certain light. You can't compliment me or be thankful for the
fact that you do nothing - NOTHING - in our home, you can only find
fault. I work late because the grant I'm paid from runs out soon. I'm
trying really hard to have my boss find a way to get new funding for
me. I'm not cheating on you. If we fail, I'm never, ever going to be in a
relationship again. There is no way under this sun that I want to have
another relationship if we split, especially not one that would involve a
penis. You dictate my time, and you question every move I make when I'm
out of your sight. I AM NOT YOUR EX. I am not the person who cheated on
you. I have such an incredible desire to be devoid of male contact you
should be thrilled. You make me feel like a child. You explain everything
to me, down to how to clean the dishes - that you never wash, by the
way. Um, guess what? I have a brain! I'm pretty fucking
intelligent! Probably more than you! To say nothing of the fact that I've
cleaned a gazillion dishes and bathtubs and counters and rugs and clothing
and...and... and... you don't do any of it. And I do. You aren't allowed
to criticize. If what I do is so bad, YOU do it. I work more than forty
hours a week, and I am also going to school. You have lovely dinners and a
clean house and clean clothing because of me. You have health insurance
because of me. I can't believe you have all of this and you are still mean
and arrogant toward me.
I don't even know why I'm with you anymore.
Confession #1084
Some days the only reason I don't leave you is because all the men who've shown an interest in me are polyamorous and ugly. If I have to settle for an ugly man I'm sure as hell not going to share.
Confession #1085
Do not ignore me when I try to get you up in the morning... one of these days I won't give a damn that you hate cold water and I WILL use it. I'm having a hard time remembering what a great guy you can be when EVERY morning I have to go ahead and get your fat ass outta bed. It makes me madder then you will ever know.
Oh, and when we argue on the phone DO NOT act like a frikkin' child and hang up...
Confession #1086
I love you so much it makes me sick. But I must admit, I was relieved when your mom died. I can't believe I am writing this, it's been my little secret for almost a year.
Confession #1087
I love you with all I have.
BUT. I loathe cuddling with you at night. You have gained over 50 lbs in the 16 years we have shared and after 2 kids, I have a weak bladder, PLUS I am a night sweater- the last thing I want is your dead weight on me when I am trying to sleep. That- and your shaved public region itches my back, which is the real reason I sleep clothed. You tell me I should be lucky to have someone who wants to cuddle? Besides you – who said I didn’t?
Confession #1088
You know, a compliment or two would go a hell of a long way. I'm not talking about gushing or being ridiculous, but SOMETHING - "hey honey, you look really nice" or the occasional "I think you are beautiful". I don't need tons of verbal reassurance, but damn, it would be really good to hear it every once in a while FROM YOU.
Because when the guy at work says it, I light up inside. Thats how I know I miss it, but you say its silly and you shouldn't need to say those things, I should just KNOW them. Still, a girl likes to hear it once in a while.
Confession #1089
From one Mom to another:
Your son's got a drug addiction and he's been trying to sell his wares to the neighbor kids. You don't seem to care. But it KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. I wonder what he'll be inhaling, sniffing, or injecting when he's 17, 18 and older. We've already been a victim of his drug problems. And it keeps me awake at night wondering what else he'll try to steal from us in the future.... He has no conscious nor compassion. Looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Confession #1090
It was me who was home with our new baby waiting for you. It was me up late every night so we could see each other. It was me trying so hard to make things easier for you because you were "stressed out from work."
It was you who had a sudden interest in working out everyday. It was you who wanted to shop for clothes. You even showered me and the baby with things. We had family days and took the baby to the beach and the zoo. It was going so well.
I believe you when you say you didn't sleep with her. Perhaps you just hadn't had the chance yet. But you know what? It would have been easier if you had. I would rather you had slept with her, but it was her you were calling every night on your way home from work. It was her that was watching you at your games. It was her you called before you left for your business trips. It was her that would completely change what you stand for.
It was you who held my hands and looked me in the eyes and lied. Over and over you lied. I was overreacting and I didn't understand; it was no big deal; you two are just friends. Even if you didn't sleep with her, you're a liar and a cheat; you're not the person I married.
My confession is that I'm the one who made the mistake. I should've left you then. Because now, two years later, I still can't trust you. You're not my safe place. You're supposed to the one man that's never lied to me. And every time you open your mouth, I question it; the sincerity, the look in your eye. Everyone who knows you says that you're the most honest, stand-up guy they know; they haven't got a clue. And I'm not telling, because now, our baby is little girl who loves her daddy more than anything. And as much as you've let me down, I know you won't let her down.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
True Wife Confessions 108 names of Ganesh
Confession #1071
I know that when you say you have a pounding headache, and you're going to bed you are lying. I know you block my name and sit in a chat room for the rest of the night. Why lie? I know you've been lying to me since at least August. You've hurt my feelings more than you'll ever know. Just don't be surprised when I'm not so readily available to talk to you about your problems. I've been there for you through the worst of the worst. When everyone else walked away I stayed your friend. Remember that.
Confession #1072
I know we worked out our kinks with your porn addiction awhile ago. I know
you look, you know I know you look, and since you aren't hiding it anymore,
I'm fine with it. Except, remember when we talked about it and I said I was
only fine with it IF I was sexually satisfied first? If you spent time on
me first, then those girls with fake tits and bad blonde dye jobs second?
Well, we've had sex twice since our son was born earlier this year. Twice.
And we both know that between the baby and the other kids and our jobs time
is limited, but I know without even checking your laptop that you are
getting all of your sexual release from porn. I'd like to make a joke about
it not being so bad as long as I have more batteries, but I need sex damnit.
So get your head out of your ass and fuck your wife already. Shesh.
Confession #1073
Guys, guys...
your wives are all friends of mine. They've been my friends and mentors for
fifteen years, and I know all of you, too; however, there seems to be a
problem. Is it that you don't trust them? Or is it that you don't want to
be alone in your house for an evening? Do you think that I, a single woman,
am going to drag them out to a bar? I can't fathom it! When I invite them
to a "girl's night" dinner party at my house, it's so they can get away from
the kids, and we can BS about work and family, movies and books, and
whatever else we want to talk about -- and they don't have to cook, and they
don't have to answer to anyone, and they don't have to clean up afterwards.
Please, think about what you are doing when ALL three cellphones go off
between ten and ten-thirty because you guys are "wondering where" your wives
are, or just "checking in." I find myself a little embarrassed for my
friends, and worse, I feel bad for them. You KNOW where they are because
they TOLD you. That cell phone symphony is ridiculous!!
If we want to sit around and drink good wine and eat and laugh 'til three in
the morning, how can you begrudge your wives that? Aren't the kids already
in bed by ten?? Consider letting your wives be.... One night a year to
spend with friends is not too much to ask!
Confession #1074
From one wife to another:
You just told me your 4-year-old has six cavities. You oldest son is in rehab. Your middle child is the only one that gets any sort of attention from you. And that's only because he has special needs and you assume people view you as a martyr for helping him. In reality, you don't really do that much to help him. You seem to think that all three of your children's behavior problems are someone else's fault. And you will tell anyone who will listen horrible your life is. You are pathetic. You thrive on other people's pity. Take some responsibility for your actions and life. You reap what you sow.
Confession #1075
To my husband:
Our relationship has gotten so much better in the last few weeks. Thank you for pitching in and helping out when I get migraines. Thank you for not complaining when you've come home from a stressful day and I ask you to watch our son and make dinner so I can take some meds and go to bed.
Confession #1076
you are the most irritating and annoying sick person EVER. you whinge and whine and complain. I know you're poorly with gastro and it's awful but you called me EVERY 10 MINUTES last night. I was exhausted!
Your dependence and need for attention and affection is driving me away. we've been together for 6 years and you've gotten worse.
Confession #1077
Last night while I watched you soothe our baby when she was feeling sick it
made my heart want to burst. It's so true that watching a man be a daddy can
make you love him even more. 7 years, 3 children.... I love you more than I
ever imagined I could.
Confession #1078
I work full-time as a PA. I spend all day running around after other people and doing their chores and admin tasks. the LAST thing i need when i get home is you giving me tasks to do. do them yourself you lazy bastard!
When the rubbish gets full, EMPTY IT! yes, it starts to smell after a while. i don't leave the washing till you have absolutely nothing to wear before i wash, do i? and plleaaseee replace the bag. it's not rocket science.
don't leave me stranded in the toilet. the toilet paper is kept the other side of the flat.
Confession #1079
Waitin, watchin the clock, its four oclock, its got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man
Talkin to herself, theres no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears hes gone
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man
She loved him, yeah...she dont want to leave this way
She feeds him, yeah...thats why shell be back again
Cant find a better man
Cant find a better...man...
Someday, I will find a better man.
Confession #1080
I think we are finally becoming each other's best friend instead of each other's fuck buddy/roommate. I'm trying to become the kind of wife you want/need. And I see you've responded. I see you're trying to become the kind of hubby I want/need. And it makes my heart sing.
I know that when you say you have a pounding headache, and you're going to bed you are lying. I know you block my name and sit in a chat room for the rest of the night. Why lie? I know you've been lying to me since at least August. You've hurt my feelings more than you'll ever know. Just don't be surprised when I'm not so readily available to talk to you about your problems. I've been there for you through the worst of the worst. When everyone else walked away I stayed your friend. Remember that.
Confession #1072
I know we worked out our kinks with your porn addiction awhile ago. I know
you look, you know I know you look, and since you aren't hiding it anymore,
I'm fine with it. Except, remember when we talked about it and I said I was
only fine with it IF I was sexually satisfied first? If you spent time on
me first, then those girls with fake tits and bad blonde dye jobs second?
Well, we've had sex twice since our son was born earlier this year. Twice.
And we both know that between the baby and the other kids and our jobs time
is limited, but I know without even checking your laptop that you are
getting all of your sexual release from porn. I'd like to make a joke about
it not being so bad as long as I have more batteries, but I need sex damnit.
So get your head out of your ass and fuck your wife already. Shesh.
Confession #1073
Guys, guys...
your wives are all friends of mine. They've been my friends and mentors for
fifteen years, and I know all of you, too; however, there seems to be a
problem. Is it that you don't trust them? Or is it that you don't want to
be alone in your house for an evening? Do you think that I, a single woman,
am going to drag them out to a bar? I can't fathom it! When I invite them
to a "girl's night" dinner party at my house, it's so they can get away from
the kids, and we can BS about work and family, movies and books, and
whatever else we want to talk about -- and they don't have to cook, and they
don't have to answer to anyone, and they don't have to clean up afterwards.
Please, think about what you are doing when ALL three cellphones go off
between ten and ten-thirty because you guys are "wondering where" your wives
are, or just "checking in." I find myself a little embarrassed for my
friends, and worse, I feel bad for them. You KNOW where they are because
they TOLD you. That cell phone symphony is ridiculous!!
If we want to sit around and drink good wine and eat and laugh 'til three in
the morning, how can you begrudge your wives that? Aren't the kids already
in bed by ten?? Consider letting your wives be.... One night a year to
spend with friends is not too much to ask!
Confession #1074
From one wife to another:
You just told me your 4-year-old has six cavities. You oldest son is in rehab. Your middle child is the only one that gets any sort of attention from you. And that's only because he has special needs and you assume people view you as a martyr for helping him. In reality, you don't really do that much to help him. You seem to think that all three of your children's behavior problems are someone else's fault. And you will tell anyone who will listen horrible your life is. You are pathetic. You thrive on other people's pity. Take some responsibility for your actions and life. You reap what you sow.
Confession #1075
To my husband:
Our relationship has gotten so much better in the last few weeks. Thank you for pitching in and helping out when I get migraines. Thank you for not complaining when you've come home from a stressful day and I ask you to watch our son and make dinner so I can take some meds and go to bed.
Confession #1076
you are the most irritating and annoying sick person EVER. you whinge and whine and complain. I know you're poorly with gastro and it's awful but you called me EVERY 10 MINUTES last night. I was exhausted!
Your dependence and need for attention and affection is driving me away. we've been together for 6 years and you've gotten worse.
Confession #1077
Last night while I watched you soothe our baby when she was feeling sick it
made my heart want to burst. It's so true that watching a man be a daddy can
make you love him even more. 7 years, 3 children.... I love you more than I
ever imagined I could.
Confession #1078
I work full-time as a PA. I spend all day running around after other people and doing their chores and admin tasks. the LAST thing i need when i get home is you giving me tasks to do. do them yourself you lazy bastard!
When the rubbish gets full, EMPTY IT! yes, it starts to smell after a while. i don't leave the washing till you have absolutely nothing to wear before i wash, do i? and plleaaseee replace the bag. it's not rocket science.
don't leave me stranded in the toilet. the toilet paper is kept the other side of the flat.
Confession #1079
Waitin, watchin the clock, its four oclock, its got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man
Talkin to herself, theres no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears hes gone
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man
She loved him, yeah...she dont want to leave this way
She feeds him, yeah...thats why shell be back again
Cant find a better man
Cant find a better...man...
Someday, I will find a better man.
Confession #1080
I think we are finally becoming each other's best friend instead of each other's fuck buddy/roommate. I'm trying to become the kind of wife you want/need. And I see you've responded. I see you're trying to become the kind of hubby I want/need. And it makes my heart sing.
Monday, October 30, 2006
True Wife Confessions 107 Feast
Confession #1061
OK~Here's the thing:
I love you so much baby but I swear sometimes you are the neediest man alive. You can't give me 1 hour of peace when I watch Grey's Anatomy because "I need to feel like the most important thing". GIVE ME AN HOUR OF QUIET WITHOUT YOU ASKING ME "WHAT'S THE LAST MOVIE WE WATCHED SO I CAN BUY THE SOUNDTRACK?" CRAP! I swear!!!!!!!!!!! I know you work while I'm finishing my Masters but what is going to happen when I work, too? What do you do for me? Nothing....you work and bring home money, which pays the bills AND I'M GRATEFUL FOR THAT but what do YOU DO for me? When was the last time you cleaned the house for me? When was the last time you cooked supper for me? When was the last time you picked up your shit and put it in the laundry? WHEN???? You can't tell me, can you? You work and come home and EVERYTHING ELSE is taken care of for you!!!! I'm sick of it.
Confession #1062
I enjoy sex more when you shave. You enjoy sex more when I enjoy sex more.
We are both fully aware of this simple equation.
What I don't understand is why it's not motivation enough to make you shave every day. Or at least once a week.
Confession #1063
Do you think I am naive? Hopefully by now you've realized that I most certainly am not. Your friendship is pissing me the fuck off. But I sit back and I keep it bottled up inside because I have guy friends of my own and I can't be a hypocrite, my pride won't let me. Difference between my guy friends and you girl friend - we don't want to fuck each other. Right here is the only place I can set my pride aside and say this friendship of yours is absolute 100% bullshit.
You think I don't notice how giddy the two of you get when you're around one another? I know how you are - you've been the same way with me. I know how she is - because I know HER! You know what else I know? I know you know it bothers me. Yep, you know damn good and well that it hurts, and that's the one thing you promised you would never do. Problem is, I can't tell you these things. I don't know how. So I sit here and type out the words, hoping it will make me feel better. I hope it does, or some day who knows what will happen.
I am asking you to please stop hurting me. If it means you are looking at an ultimatum, so be it. Hurt me now and pick her than allow me to hate you later because you've fucked her. Maybe you already have and I just won't let myself believe it. Wow. Maybe you already have. Holy....shit.
Confession #1064
I love you even though you are married to someone else. I love you even though you're not always nice to me. I love you even though I know the odds are not in our favor. I love you even though you didn't, and won't, choose me. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe, and accept, that after not believing in love, or soul mates that I found both in you but will never get to live out my life as I should. With you. At this point I think that if you are ever free from the obligations of your current life, wherever we both are, we'll end up together. Because as much as you might roll your eyes and be cynical about the prospect of happiness, you know that we belong together. No matter what, I will never be sorry that I met or fell in love with you, because even with the hurt, it has been wonderful to know that I could feel that way again; that I could have that kind of connection. Because of you, I will always believe that love is the answer.
Confession #1065
Why am I fantasizing about my friends?
Confession #1066
There are so many wonderful things about you that I feel a little odd
about bitching about this one, but. . .
It's really getting on my nerves that you make commitments and plans
and just simply tell me about them, rather than checking to see if
maybe I have plans or have something I might need to do. I have to
always check with you about things I want to do without our children,
wonderful though they are, before I plan them to see if you'll be
available. It seems rather unfair and it's starting to piss me off. I
know that your work has "all the time" hours, your job is like that
and I'm fine with that. But going to do extra things without at least
a conversation about it feels more and more like an imposition on me
and the things I might want to do. I end up having to run hither,
thither and yon on my lunch hour and when it takes forever to actually
get to where I can do the things that need or that I want doing, I can
really only do one thing during lunch. And if I don't do it then, I
have to take the kids -- which makes everything take about twice as
long and about 10 times more complicated.
I hope my view of this is simply skewed and it's not really as bad as
it's becoming in my mind.
Confession #1067
I wish it was better, instead of longer.
Confession #1068
You question me about how much money I spend, and yet when I suggest that I get a part time job, you tell me it isn't worth my time.
I'm applying anyway, even knowing you will be pissed, cause I have to do something for me - have MY money, my friends, my world. The world of "YOU" is killing me, in every way. I never would have expected this from you, and it disappoints me.
Confession #1069
When I come home from fucking him the whole afternoon, I don't feel any guilt what so ever.
Confession #1070
When things exploded with him, they exploded. I escaped with the two children, and the relief I felt was similar to that a woman feels when she stops banging her head against a wall. I always had to do it all with him. I was his nanny, maid, accountant, petsitter--you name it. Worn to the bone, I collapsed every night feeling depressed and worthless. And he was always there to remind me of exactly how fat, ugly, and stupid I was. He drank, got stoned, avoided his kids, avoided me as much as he could. I cannot even describe the hell that it was, and I'm not even sure how I managed. I guess having to make sure the kids were ok kept me afloat.
For the longest time, I thought that perhaps he'd get better...I didn't remember him being like that when we married, or even before we had the kids. What happened?
Words echo in my head from my ex-husband...foul things he called me for no reason other than such incidents as me using the automatic ice maker when he rounded the corner on the cordless phone (it made the work answering machine messages he was collecting seem not so clear). I remember when I had given birth to our wonderful son, and four months later I had already managed to get down to 115 lbs as a 5'2" woman...yet he screamed at me until his veins popped out of his head that I was soooo fat. Why did I do it all? Why did I listen? Why did I believe? And then when I told him that I was going to divorce him, I will never forget the first words out of his mouth: "Who will do my laundry?"
After 10 years of marriage, he couldn't even remember what color my eyes were.
And then you came along.
I chased you off. I told you that one bad marriage was enough. I told you I'd never trust again, love again, nor risk anything again. I told you that my children came first, and for God's sake, go the hell back to France and leave me alone.
You went back to France and asked your best friend to be your best man at your wedding because you had met the woman of your dreams.
And for a year you waited, patiently. You tried to help me lug my emotional baggage rather than left me with it. We started to date. You were romantic, sweet, kind. You treated my children as if they were your own. My sister, who has hated every single man I ever dated, loved you to death. My friends asked if they could clone you.
I didn't realize marriage could be any other way than bad. I have heard my friends bitch about their situations, and I know that my own circumstance was not unique. Yet, what you've taught me is that there are good men in the world...and there are good marriages. I just needed to look a little harder.
I get flowers, chocolates, love notes, nightly massages...you walk in the house and immediately decide to take out the trash, mop, and vacuum. When both kids need something at the same time, you grab one, knowing that I'll take care of the other. My children call you daddy, and they prefer being with you than their own father. You have a good heart, and you are always patient and kind when I have to deal with my ex. When I decide to use my time to help another, you jump right in and help the other person too. If all French men were like you, I'd make all my single girlfriends buy tickets to Paris! You help me, you love me, and you are the least selfish person I know.
Thank you for showing me that not all husbands are selfish and mean. Thank you for showing me what love really is...and most importantly, thank you for showing my kids EXACTLY what they too deserve in a relationship one day.
Je t'aime...
OK~Here's the thing:
I love you so much baby but I swear sometimes you are the neediest man alive. You can't give me 1 hour of peace when I watch Grey's Anatomy because "I need to feel like the most important thing". GIVE ME AN HOUR OF QUIET WITHOUT YOU ASKING ME "WHAT'S THE LAST MOVIE WE WATCHED SO I CAN BUY THE SOUNDTRACK?" CRAP! I swear!!!!!!!!!!! I know you work while I'm finishing my Masters but what is going to happen when I work, too? What do you do for me? Nothing....you work and bring home money, which pays the bills AND I'M GRATEFUL FOR THAT but what do YOU DO for me? When was the last time you cleaned the house for me? When was the last time you cooked supper for me? When was the last time you picked up your shit and put it in the laundry? WHEN???? You can't tell me, can you? You work and come home and EVERYTHING ELSE is taken care of for you!!!! I'm sick of it.
Confession #1062
I enjoy sex more when you shave. You enjoy sex more when I enjoy sex more.
We are both fully aware of this simple equation.
What I don't understand is why it's not motivation enough to make you shave every day. Or at least once a week.
Confession #1063
Do you think I am naive? Hopefully by now you've realized that I most certainly am not. Your friendship is pissing me the fuck off. But I sit back and I keep it bottled up inside because I have guy friends of my own and I can't be a hypocrite, my pride won't let me. Difference between my guy friends and you girl friend - we don't want to fuck each other. Right here is the only place I can set my pride aside and say this friendship of yours is absolute 100% bullshit.
You think I don't notice how giddy the two of you get when you're around one another? I know how you are - you've been the same way with me. I know how she is - because I know HER! You know what else I know? I know you know it bothers me. Yep, you know damn good and well that it hurts, and that's the one thing you promised you would never do. Problem is, I can't tell you these things. I don't know how. So I sit here and type out the words, hoping it will make me feel better. I hope it does, or some day who knows what will happen.
I am asking you to please stop hurting me. If it means you are looking at an ultimatum, so be it. Hurt me now and pick her than allow me to hate you later because you've fucked her. Maybe you already have and I just won't let myself believe it. Wow. Maybe you already have. Holy....shit.
Confession #1064
I love you even though you are married to someone else. I love you even though you're not always nice to me. I love you even though I know the odds are not in our favor. I love you even though you didn't, and won't, choose me. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe, and accept, that after not believing in love, or soul mates that I found both in you but will never get to live out my life as I should. With you. At this point I think that if you are ever free from the obligations of your current life, wherever we both are, we'll end up together. Because as much as you might roll your eyes and be cynical about the prospect of happiness, you know that we belong together. No matter what, I will never be sorry that I met or fell in love with you, because even with the hurt, it has been wonderful to know that I could feel that way again; that I could have that kind of connection. Because of you, I will always believe that love is the answer.
Confession #1065
Why am I fantasizing about my friends?
Confession #1066
There are so many wonderful things about you that I feel a little odd
about bitching about this one, but. . .
It's really getting on my nerves that you make commitments and plans
and just simply tell me about them, rather than checking to see if
maybe I have plans or have something I might need to do. I have to
always check with you about things I want to do without our children,
wonderful though they are, before I plan them to see if you'll be
available. It seems rather unfair and it's starting to piss me off. I
know that your work has "all the time" hours, your job is like that
and I'm fine with that. But going to do extra things without at least
a conversation about it feels more and more like an imposition on me
and the things I might want to do. I end up having to run hither,
thither and yon on my lunch hour and when it takes forever to actually
get to where I can do the things that need or that I want doing, I can
really only do one thing during lunch. And if I don't do it then, I
have to take the kids -- which makes everything take about twice as
long and about 10 times more complicated.
I hope my view of this is simply skewed and it's not really as bad as
it's becoming in my mind.
Confession #1067
I wish it was better, instead of longer.
Confession #1068
You question me about how much money I spend, and yet when I suggest that I get a part time job, you tell me it isn't worth my time.
I'm applying anyway, even knowing you will be pissed, cause I have to do something for me - have MY money, my friends, my world. The world of "YOU" is killing me, in every way. I never would have expected this from you, and it disappoints me.
Confession #1069
When I come home from fucking him the whole afternoon, I don't feel any guilt what so ever.
Confession #1070
When things exploded with him, they exploded. I escaped with the two children, and the relief I felt was similar to that a woman feels when she stops banging her head against a wall. I always had to do it all with him. I was his nanny, maid, accountant, petsitter--you name it. Worn to the bone, I collapsed every night feeling depressed and worthless. And he was always there to remind me of exactly how fat, ugly, and stupid I was. He drank, got stoned, avoided his kids, avoided me as much as he could. I cannot even describe the hell that it was, and I'm not even sure how I managed. I guess having to make sure the kids were ok kept me afloat.
For the longest time, I thought that perhaps he'd get better...I didn't remember him being like that when we married, or even before we had the kids. What happened?
Words echo in my head from my ex-husband...foul things he called me for no reason other than such incidents as me using the automatic ice maker when he rounded the corner on the cordless phone (it made the work answering machine messages he was collecting seem not so clear). I remember when I had given birth to our wonderful son, and four months later I had already managed to get down to 115 lbs as a 5'2" woman...yet he screamed at me until his veins popped out of his head that I was soooo fat. Why did I do it all? Why did I listen? Why did I believe? And then when I told him that I was going to divorce him, I will never forget the first words out of his mouth: "Who will do my laundry?"
After 10 years of marriage, he couldn't even remember what color my eyes were.
And then you came along.
I chased you off. I told you that one bad marriage was enough. I told you I'd never trust again, love again, nor risk anything again. I told you that my children came first, and for God's sake, go the hell back to France and leave me alone.
You went back to France and asked your best friend to be your best man at your wedding because you had met the woman of your dreams.
And for a year you waited, patiently. You tried to help me lug my emotional baggage rather than left me with it. We started to date. You were romantic, sweet, kind. You treated my children as if they were your own. My sister, who has hated every single man I ever dated, loved you to death. My friends asked if they could clone you.
I didn't realize marriage could be any other way than bad. I have heard my friends bitch about their situations, and I know that my own circumstance was not unique. Yet, what you've taught me is that there are good men in the world...and there are good marriages. I just needed to look a little harder.
I get flowers, chocolates, love notes, nightly massages...you walk in the house and immediately decide to take out the trash, mop, and vacuum. When both kids need something at the same time, you grab one, knowing that I'll take care of the other. My children call you daddy, and they prefer being with you than their own father. You have a good heart, and you are always patient and kind when I have to deal with my ex. When I decide to use my time to help another, you jump right in and help the other person too. If all French men were like you, I'd make all my single girlfriends buy tickets to Paris! You help me, you love me, and you are the least selfish person I know.
Thank you for showing me that not all husbands are selfish and mean. Thank you for showing me what love really is...and most importantly, thank you for showing my kids EXACTLY what they too deserve in a relationship one day.
Je t'aime...
Saturday, October 28, 2006
True Wife Confessions 106 degrees of Seperation
Confession #1051
When you hugged me last night and told me you would take care of everything and not to worry, I fell more in love with you. I needed you to be my hero then. Thank you.
Confession #1052
We're young I know but we have a 2 year old and we need to make this work. You woke me up at 3 am the other day yelling at me because there was a pack of gum on the desk with 2 pieces missing so somebody must have been here. Your looking for signs that I'm cheating but you won't find any i've haven't been with another person in the last 3 1/2 years we've been together. Most men would be happy to know there not being cheated on but you've made mistakes in the past (and I've forgave u) but you think i can never be better at anything then you but i am, I'm better at being faithful. I love you still and hope we can work through this but if not I'll find someone else that loves our son and can appreciate me.
Confession #1053
Get this straight. Cyber flirting with another woman is no more acceptable
to me than real life flirting. Calling another woman pet names is disloyal
to me. Telling another woman you wish she was here with you (even though
you've never met her) is a betrayal. Not rebutting another woman's advances,
in order to massage your ego, is disloyal to me. This has hurt me beyond
belief and I will never forget it or forgive you. You can never make it up
to me.
Confession #1054
There is snow on the ground and the furnace stopped working last night. I managed to fix it, all by myself. Not once did I wish for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and care of the problem. Dumping your lazy @ss is the best thing I've ever done.
Confession #1055
Honey -
I do not love my job. I do not love the things I have to do during the day that I don't particularly enjoy. I do not love having to get up in the morning earlier than is necessarily fair to the human body. I don't really love not being able to do all the things in the evening that I want to. But at the end of a particularly hard day, at the end of a particularly long week or even after a few hours of icky chores, I love coming home to you. I love that you're always there for me when I get home with a hug and a kiss on my forehead (something else I love) I love that you are responsible enough (occasionally) to clean the kitchen when you know I don't want to ... even if it takes a few days. I love that every now and then you let me just sit and rest and relax and take care of everything. I love that you made me buffalo shrimp and didn't stop until you almost burnt the house down and got it right. Luckily, nothing but the first batch was truly burnt. I love sharing the kitchen with you when we cook something together. I love the way we tease each other and know that it doesn't really mean anything. It's just our way of showing how much we love each other. I love that you love me that much. I love that you love me enough to make sacrifices, the ones I know about and the ones I don't. I love you enough to put up with you when you're being a complete ass, particularly because you love me enough to put up with me when I'm being a complete ass. I love that you understand how hard it is for me to move to Maryland and away from all of my friends and my family, and my Dad (which is really the most difficult part). I love that you understand my close relationship with him. Thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm crazy, and juvenile, and anal-retentive and just plain mean. I love you very much, and the most selfish and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself was marry such an amazing man. Happy Love Thursday.
Confession #1056
I know I told you that your beloved black pepper mill fell off the counter and broke. It didn't - I threw that fucker in the trash! I was so sick of you putting a coating of cracked black pepper on every dinner you made. I hated that I had to rinse the cooked chicken and steak off before the girls and I could eat it. Pepper on your lasagna?? Who does that? You like black pepper. We don't! How many times can I tell you to pepper your own dinner and not ours????? Seriously, I think you do just do it to piss me off. It is one button you know how to push.
If you are wondering - the red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper - they are in the trash too. I will just keep on "forgetting" to get them when I go grocery shopping.
Confession #1057
So, you want to know why I cheated
He spoiled me from day one, with simple little things,
Opening the door for me, telling me I looked nice, that I was beautiful.
Things that you never did. And he is willing to give me the moon and stars, no questions asked. If I tell you I need new shoe, you ask why?
Confession #1058
Why the FUCK does your male friend sign his e-mails, "Love, ****"? What the FUCK is that all about? Let me find out that you so much as LOOKED at another man and you are HISTORY, you erectile dysfunctioning, premature ejaculating, non-sex initiating &^%$#@.
Confession #1059
I know where the "mysterious dent" came from on the car door. I bumped another car parking. I just don't want to hear the bull shit about my driving or any thing else. So I will keep my mouth shut and let you think that it was a parking lot accident. Cause you know what? It isn't worth the ammunition that it will become for later fights.
Confession #1060
Who the hell do you think you are leaving me a note on my day off to
"clean the house".
Yes, I know you work full time and I work part time. I also go to
school and I do take care of the house. Do you think your clothes
magically clean themselves and put themselves away? Do you think that
I push a magic button and dinner appears each night? Not to mention
all the other million little things I do to make this house a home
and take care of our kids.
You don't like the way the house looks? Clean up after yourself.
Don't be an ass and announce that you are going to clean up and throw
away anything that is not in it's place. If I did that to you, your
only possession would be your toothbrush.
You never even lifted a finger for the 14 months you were out of
work. You 'networked' and had 'business lunches' and found so many
other things to do except pick up after yourself. Don't think that I
didn't notice during your unemployment period that you found time to
have lunch with everyone under the sun, yet each time I asked you,
you were too busy.
By the way, I am going to school to get a degree so that I can
qualify for a decent paying job and be rid of you. You were the one
who insisted I be a SAHM, yet the moment our first child was born and
I quit working, you treated me like a useless burden who didn't
contribute to the family.
When you hugged me last night and told me you would take care of everything and not to worry, I fell more in love with you. I needed you to be my hero then. Thank you.
Confession #1052
We're young I know but we have a 2 year old and we need to make this work. You woke me up at 3 am the other day yelling at me because there was a pack of gum on the desk with 2 pieces missing so somebody must have been here. Your looking for signs that I'm cheating but you won't find any i've haven't been with another person in the last 3 1/2 years we've been together. Most men would be happy to know there not being cheated on but you've made mistakes in the past (and I've forgave u) but you think i can never be better at anything then you but i am, I'm better at being faithful. I love you still and hope we can work through this but if not I'll find someone else that loves our son and can appreciate me.
Confession #1053
Get this straight. Cyber flirting with another woman is no more acceptable
to me than real life flirting. Calling another woman pet names is disloyal
to me. Telling another woman you wish she was here with you (even though
you've never met her) is a betrayal. Not rebutting another woman's advances,
in order to massage your ego, is disloyal to me. This has hurt me beyond
belief and I will never forget it or forgive you. You can never make it up
to me.
Confession #1054
There is snow on the ground and the furnace stopped working last night. I managed to fix it, all by myself. Not once did I wish for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and care of the problem. Dumping your lazy @ss is the best thing I've ever done.
Confession #1055
Honey -
I do not love my job. I do not love the things I have to do during the day that I don't particularly enjoy. I do not love having to get up in the morning earlier than is necessarily fair to the human body. I don't really love not being able to do all the things in the evening that I want to. But at the end of a particularly hard day, at the end of a particularly long week or even after a few hours of icky chores, I love coming home to you. I love that you're always there for me when I get home with a hug and a kiss on my forehead (something else I love) I love that you are responsible enough (occasionally) to clean the kitchen when you know I don't want to ... even if it takes a few days. I love that every now and then you let me just sit and rest and relax and take care of everything. I love that you made me buffalo shrimp and didn't stop until you almost burnt the house down and got it right. Luckily, nothing but the first batch was truly burnt. I love sharing the kitchen with you when we cook something together. I love the way we tease each other and know that it doesn't really mean anything. It's just our way of showing how much we love each other. I love that you love me that much. I love that you love me enough to make sacrifices, the ones I know about and the ones I don't. I love you enough to put up with you when you're being a complete ass, particularly because you love me enough to put up with me when I'm being a complete ass. I love that you understand how hard it is for me to move to Maryland and away from all of my friends and my family, and my Dad (which is really the most difficult part). I love that you understand my close relationship with him. Thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm crazy, and juvenile, and anal-retentive and just plain mean. I love you very much, and the most selfish and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself was marry such an amazing man. Happy Love Thursday.
Confession #1056
I know I told you that your beloved black pepper mill fell off the counter and broke. It didn't - I threw that fucker in the trash! I was so sick of you putting a coating of cracked black pepper on every dinner you made. I hated that I had to rinse the cooked chicken and steak off before the girls and I could eat it. Pepper on your lasagna?? Who does that? You like black pepper. We don't! How many times can I tell you to pepper your own dinner and not ours????? Seriously, I think you do just do it to piss me off. It is one button you know how to push.
If you are wondering - the red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper - they are in the trash too. I will just keep on "forgetting" to get them when I go grocery shopping.
Confession #1057
So, you want to know why I cheated
He spoiled me from day one, with simple little things,
Opening the door for me, telling me I looked nice, that I was beautiful.
Things that you never did. And he is willing to give me the moon and stars, no questions asked. If I tell you I need new shoe, you ask why?
Confession #1058
Why the FUCK does your male friend sign his e-mails, "Love, ****"? What the FUCK is that all about? Let me find out that you so much as LOOKED at another man and you are HISTORY, you erectile dysfunctioning, premature ejaculating, non-sex initiating &^%$#@.
Confession #1059
I know where the "mysterious dent" came from on the car door. I bumped another car parking. I just don't want to hear the bull shit about my driving or any thing else. So I will keep my mouth shut and let you think that it was a parking lot accident. Cause you know what? It isn't worth the ammunition that it will become for later fights.
Confession #1060
Who the hell do you think you are leaving me a note on my day off to
"clean the house".
Yes, I know you work full time and I work part time. I also go to
school and I do take care of the house. Do you think your clothes
magically clean themselves and put themselves away? Do you think that
I push a magic button and dinner appears each night? Not to mention
all the other million little things I do to make this house a home
and take care of our kids.
You don't like the way the house looks? Clean up after yourself.
Don't be an ass and announce that you are going to clean up and throw
away anything that is not in it's place. If I did that to you, your
only possession would be your toothbrush.
You never even lifted a finger for the 14 months you were out of
work. You 'networked' and had 'business lunches' and found so many
other things to do except pick up after yourself. Don't think that I
didn't notice during your unemployment period that you found time to
have lunch with everyone under the sun, yet each time I asked you,
you were too busy.
By the way, I am going to school to get a degree so that I can
qualify for a decent paying job and be rid of you. You were the one
who insisted I be a SAHM, yet the moment our first child was born and
I quit working, you treated me like a useless burden who didn't
contribute to the family.
Friday, October 27, 2006
True Wife Confessions 105 Works of Man Ray
Confession #1041
There is a group of us... we call ourselves the Secret Widows. There's more of us than you'd think... and that is what is so very sad about it. Beneath the facades of happy marriage lies these rotten truths.
We hate you, but it's a quiet, sort of patient hatred.
We all used to love you, our husbands. We thought you were different from "typical" men. We thought you loved us. What a joke it all turned out to be. You took all of the promises and turned them into betrayals. You took our faithfulness and turned to other women. You have lied and cheated and broken us too many times now...
it's our turn to lie.
We still smile and say all of the right thing. We still pretend to listen when you talk. We go on in our lives as if we have forgiven and forgotten.
But we haven't.
Each of us, we secret widows, is just waiting for (counting on) you to die first.
The we'll be free.
We will act sad.
Maybe even shed a tear.
only the rest of us will know the truth.
We can wait.... and keep ourselves very, very healthy.
Confession #1042
Honey I love you with all of my heart. You mean more to me than any man
ever has and I treasure you....
That being said, contrary to my attempts at feigning cluelessness, I DO
know/notice when another man is checking me out or when he's flirting
with me. I would NEVER cheat on you and I would never disrespect you by
flirting back. While I don't overtly encourage it, I don't mind the
attention and I actually like it and I know exactly why:
1. Deep down I am desperately insecure and though you are great about
giving my compliments, affection and attention, it flatters me when
other men find me attractive.
AND
2. I don't think it hurts for you to know that there are other men
interested in me because you've hurt me before and what's wrong with
you knowing there are other men that would trade places with you in a
heartbeat?
Confession #1043
Darling,
Why is it I've given you hundreds of blowjobs and have gotten nothing in
return? You go down on me but then always stick it in. You always get
something. Why can't you go down on me, make me orgasm and then not get
anything in return? Why is sex always about you or us? Why can't it be, for
once, just about me?
Oh, and when you do go down on me, for fuck sake! Quit acting like I'm
pulling your teeth! Remember when you told me that it's about the attitude
when a woman gives a blow job? How it's sexy when she's into it and enjoying
it? Take your own advice. It is NOT a turn on to look down and see you're
completely bored and knowing you can't wait for it to be over.
Confession #1044
Because I love you, I want to warn you I'm going to blame you for us not having children.We've talked about this too many times already. You keep saying we need to wait until we're "financially stable", whatever that means, on your salary and mine. Too bad I don't want to keep waiting because what we have is enough for at least one child. The funny thing is that my body can't wait forever. Neither can yours. I think you'll end up blaming me anyway for not making enough money. It's too bad that I've resigned myself that this day, when we will start trying to have children will never happen, at least not with you. That's my biggest regret of our marriage.
Confession #1045
I have to confess -- I actually don't care if you have an affair. In reality, I would be thrilled if you did, because then we could get a divorce and end this farce of a marriage. I'm not interested in having an affair myself, because, well, I *did* that with you, and look how that's turned around to bite me in the butt. So no more affairs for me. But please -- go ahead and have one yourself. It would be a relief for me.
Confession #1046
Yes, I still read this site every day. Now I'm about to make my first confession and I hope you read it. Here it goes...I still love you. Maybe even more today than I did yesterday.
You made a stupid mistake. You admitted it, and that should have been the end of it. I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there that would have taken it in stride. True, I KNOW you didn't cheat on me, and I KNOW things were different then, and I know you lied to me because you didn't want me to think differently about you. But because of people in my past, I have a hard time trusting people. I'm working through that...and it's because of you. You've let me see that not everybody is as bad as they seem at first, and that it is ok to trust somebody else with my heart. I don't have to be on guard with you, and I never look for hidden meaning behind what you say. Nothing, not even your "confession" has changed that. I just needed time for myself to think about it and deal with it in my own terms.
I know we're not perfect, and I know there's plenty of time to make more mistakes, but you live you learn. Right?
I love you and yes, I still read this site and feel glad that among infinite number of jerks out there- - I got one of the good ones. That brings me to confession number 2-I'm impressed that you've had that new hamper for nearly a week and you've STILL been good about putting your dirty clothes in it.
The apartment is coming along nicely. I can't believe how much effort you've put in so far to make it into "our" home. I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life and in our relationship.
And just so you know this confession IS for you - - -FNA ;-)
Confession #1047
If I find one more paper fast food cup sitting next to the sink, as if you’re going to wash it and re-use it until the end of time, I’m going tie you down and make you eat it! You’re a fricking mechanical engineer with years of higher education. Use your head for Christ sakes. A retarded monkey would know that it takes just as much energy to walk that cup to the kitchen sink, as it does to walk it to the kitchen garbage! I’m your wife, the mother of your kids, and work full time. I don’t have it in me to be your garbage man to.
Confession #1048
Not everyone is as perfect as you. I know you don't have Issues. I know you never go to a party and drink too much and start to cry. I know you are not insecure and don't need to be reminded that there's a good reason to be with you. But I do, and I am. And I'm sorry about that, but if you keep saying you don't want to break up with me and you mean it, you'll need to accept that sometimes I'm fucked up. I warned you.
Confession #1049
When we talk on the phone, is it too much to expect your attention? I can hear you clicking away on the keyboard, and those gaps where I am expecting a response and you don't say anything let me know that you aren't listening.
This kind of behavior tells me that you don't care about me, that you are selfish, that you aren't interested. Is that what you are trying to say?
Confession #1050
I love you, but I'm not sure I want to marry you. We live well
together, but I don't think we'll make it for the long haul. I'm
already so sick of fighting with you about helping with the housework,
and asking you to please not come up and hump me from behind every time
I bend over to clean the cat's litterbox or empty the dishwasher. I
don't want to end up like my parents; I don't ever want to hate you.
And I think if we get married, we might end up hating each other. I'm
so afraid of that, but I don't want to lose you.
There is a group of us... we call ourselves the Secret Widows. There's more of us than you'd think... and that is what is so very sad about it. Beneath the facades of happy marriage lies these rotten truths.
We hate you, but it's a quiet, sort of patient hatred.
We all used to love you, our husbands. We thought you were different from "typical" men. We thought you loved us. What a joke it all turned out to be. You took all of the promises and turned them into betrayals. You took our faithfulness and turned to other women. You have lied and cheated and broken us too many times now...
it's our turn to lie.
We still smile and say all of the right thing. We still pretend to listen when you talk. We go on in our lives as if we have forgiven and forgotten.
But we haven't.
Each of us, we secret widows, is just waiting for (counting on) you to die first.
The we'll be free.
We will act sad.
Maybe even shed a tear.
only the rest of us will know the truth.
We can wait.... and keep ourselves very, very healthy.
Confession #1042
Honey I love you with all of my heart. You mean more to me than any man
ever has and I treasure you....
That being said, contrary to my attempts at feigning cluelessness, I DO
know/notice when another man is checking me out or when he's flirting
with me. I would NEVER cheat on you and I would never disrespect you by
flirting back. While I don't overtly encourage it, I don't mind the
attention and I actually like it and I know exactly why:
1. Deep down I am desperately insecure and though you are great about
giving my compliments, affection and attention, it flatters me when
other men find me attractive.
AND
2. I don't think it hurts for you to know that there are other men
interested in me because you've hurt me before and what's wrong with
you knowing there are other men that would trade places with you in a
heartbeat?
Confession #1043
Darling,
Why is it I've given you hundreds of blowjobs and have gotten nothing in
return? You go down on me but then always stick it in. You always get
something. Why can't you go down on me, make me orgasm and then not get
anything in return? Why is sex always about you or us? Why can't it be, for
once, just about me?
Oh, and when you do go down on me, for fuck sake! Quit acting like I'm
pulling your teeth! Remember when you told me that it's about the attitude
when a woman gives a blow job? How it's sexy when she's into it and enjoying
it? Take your own advice. It is NOT a turn on to look down and see you're
completely bored and knowing you can't wait for it to be over.
Confession #1044
Because I love you, I want to warn you I'm going to blame you for us not having children.We've talked about this too many times already. You keep saying we need to wait until we're "financially stable", whatever that means, on your salary and mine. Too bad I don't want to keep waiting because what we have is enough for at least one child. The funny thing is that my body can't wait forever. Neither can yours. I think you'll end up blaming me anyway for not making enough money. It's too bad that I've resigned myself that this day, when we will start trying to have children will never happen, at least not with you. That's my biggest regret of our marriage.
Confession #1045
I have to confess -- I actually don't care if you have an affair. In reality, I would be thrilled if you did, because then we could get a divorce and end this farce of a marriage. I'm not interested in having an affair myself, because, well, I *did* that with you, and look how that's turned around to bite me in the butt. So no more affairs for me. But please -- go ahead and have one yourself. It would be a relief for me.
Confession #1046
Yes, I still read this site every day. Now I'm about to make my first confession and I hope you read it. Here it goes...I still love you. Maybe even more today than I did yesterday.
You made a stupid mistake. You admitted it, and that should have been the end of it. I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there that would have taken it in stride. True, I KNOW you didn't cheat on me, and I KNOW things were different then, and I know you lied to me because you didn't want me to think differently about you. But because of people in my past, I have a hard time trusting people. I'm working through that...and it's because of you. You've let me see that not everybody is as bad as they seem at first, and that it is ok to trust somebody else with my heart. I don't have to be on guard with you, and I never look for hidden meaning behind what you say. Nothing, not even your "confession" has changed that. I just needed time for myself to think about it and deal with it in my own terms.
I know we're not perfect, and I know there's plenty of time to make more mistakes, but you live you learn. Right?
I love you and yes, I still read this site and feel glad that among infinite number of jerks out there- - I got one of the good ones. That brings me to confession number 2-I'm impressed that you've had that new hamper for nearly a week and you've STILL been good about putting your dirty clothes in it.
The apartment is coming along nicely. I can't believe how much effort you've put in so far to make it into "our" home. I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life and in our relationship.
And just so you know this confession IS for you - - -FNA ;-)
Confession #1047
If I find one more paper fast food cup sitting next to the sink, as if you’re going to wash it and re-use it until the end of time, I’m going tie you down and make you eat it! You’re a fricking mechanical engineer with years of higher education. Use your head for Christ sakes. A retarded monkey would know that it takes just as much energy to walk that cup to the kitchen sink, as it does to walk it to the kitchen garbage! I’m your wife, the mother of your kids, and work full time. I don’t have it in me to be your garbage man to.
Confession #1048
Not everyone is as perfect as you. I know you don't have Issues. I know you never go to a party and drink too much and start to cry. I know you are not insecure and don't need to be reminded that there's a good reason to be with you. But I do, and I am. And I'm sorry about that, but if you keep saying you don't want to break up with me and you mean it, you'll need to accept that sometimes I'm fucked up. I warned you.
Confession #1049
When we talk on the phone, is it too much to expect your attention? I can hear you clicking away on the keyboard, and those gaps where I am expecting a response and you don't say anything let me know that you aren't listening.
This kind of behavior tells me that you don't care about me, that you are selfish, that you aren't interested. Is that what you are trying to say?
Confession #1050
I love you, but I'm not sure I want to marry you. We live well
together, but I don't think we'll make it for the long haul. I'm
already so sick of fighting with you about helping with the housework,
and asking you to please not come up and hump me from behind every time
I bend over to clean the cat's litterbox or empty the dishwasher. I
don't want to end up like my parents; I don't ever want to hate you.
And I think if we get married, we might end up hating each other. I'm
so afraid of that, but I don't want to lose you.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
True Wife Confessions 104 Peugeot
Confession #1031
Please stop straining yourself just to squeeze out a nasty fart in my presence. It is so annoying and rude. I am not nor was I ever impressed. Other than that you are a keeper.
Confession #1032
Hey,
I love you. I love you every second of the day. I think you are the
best thing that ever happened to me. But I wish you would show me how you
feel about me. Don't just assume that I always know - because I don't. I
wonder all the time. Sometimes a girl just needs to hear it.
Confession #1033
Honey, I realize that going bald at 25 cannot be easy for you. But please, please, enough with the comb over. You are not fooling anyone and it only makes you look ridiculous. I tried to point this out to you and you got too defensive. Trust me, baldness does not look all that bad on you. At least, it looks a hell of a lot better than that damn comb over.
Confession #1034
When you stay out all night drinking with your
brother-in-law, I let the dog sleep on your pillow.
The fact that you hate the dog makes it that much
sweeter.
Confession #1035
It is not my responsibility to police your diet. You need to be a big boy and watch what you eat. You are now diabetic and therefore there are foods that can make you really sick if you eat them. If you have a death wish, continue to drink the soda, eat the sugary cereal, and load up on all the things you know you should not have. I will enjoy the life insurance money. The rest of the people in the house do not have any dietary restrictions and should not be expected to adhere to the same diet. You as a nearly 40 year old adult should have enough self control to not eat your son's cereal or to buy a doughnut at the convenience store on your way to work. If you end up in the hospital again, do not expect much sympathy from me. You have to be in control of you, I can't do it nor should I be expected to.
Confession #1036
Stop talking to me like shit in front of other people. Why do you keep doing this? I am so sick of being berated in front of our friends and our family...you patronizing fuckwit. I used to think that answering you back and defending myself was better than keeping quiet, because I didn't want people to think that I was a push-over. But, now I just keep quiet because I don't want to make a scene...so I sit there and let you talk me me like a child.
People notice. They have said it to me. Even YOUR friends. They think you are rude and obnoxious. Perhaps if you stopped drinking so much when we socialize you wouldn't act like that. But, I don't think it is even the alcohol anymore - I think it is just you. You like to feel like the 'big man' - and treating your wife like an idiot apparently makes you one.
I can't believe you refuse to even acknowledge your behaviour the next day when you are sober. You fucking bastard. You think you are so fucking great don't you.
Confession #1037
I love you with my whole heart. You are the best thing ever. I don't deserve you!!! However, when you are gone, I really really enjoy having the bed all to myself. No snoring!!!! Baby, it is AWESOME!
Confession #1038
I live in fear everyday that something is going to slip and I'll find out you've gone back to looking at dirty pictures online at work and posting your profile on personal sites...or that you've "pretended" you wanted to meet someone so they would send you their nasty, naked pictures. I'm still not 100% sure that was true about it all being a ruse, but I do so want it to be the truth. I love you with all my heart and soul. I have trouble breathing when I think of you and I not being together or something happening to you. But I won't allow you to cheat on me whether it's emotionally or physically. I forgave you once and told you that if I ever found out it was happening again we were through. We've had a child since then but that promise still stands. I will not allow that in my life. I CAN make it on my own, but trust that it will cost you both monetary and mentally because it's not something I will 'play nice' about. Pornographic material is not okay with me and considering I'm more than open to just about anything you'd want to do, I don't see why you should need it. If you do "need it" than maybe that's something you should have treated through therapy or something. I offered to go with you or just support you if you went but you came up with all sorts of excuses. I've taken the password lock off the computer and our email account and only spy on your email account every so often, but something inside of me tells me it's not over. That you're lying to me again and cheating on my trust. I have never been anything but faithful to you and want little more than to make you happy and provide a good and happy home life for our children. That takes both of us. It will kill something inside of me if I find out I've been living a lie. Please, please tell me you're not trolling again...
Confession #1039
I know the reasons we can't be together. But so help me God, I love you -
and *want* you - so much. We've been good friends for over half a decade,
and it was three and a half years before I realised how I *really* felt
about you. I should have known - I always felt guilty when we hugged just
that little bit too long. Then I was obsessed with whether you felt the same
way about me. When I found out ten months later (in spectacular fashion)
that you *did*, I couldn't have been happier, no matter how difficult things
were.
We've always been able to talk about anything, but when we first kissed,
when you first really put your arms around me, I felt like I'd come home.
The sexual attraction was - and is - so incredibly strong, it just floored
me, and does even now. I know when you're around before you clear your
throat in that distinctive way of yours, and when our eyes first meet, it's
like an electric shock and my heart does flip flops. When you lean down to
kiss me on the cheek, your spicy cologne and deep, sexy voice make me weak
at the knees. Just sitting next you with my arm against yours ever so
lightly is an incredibly erotic experience. Basically, when I'm around you,
I'm within *centimetres* of ripping your clothes off most of the time.
And what's even more amazing is that while I'm within centimetres of having
my wicked way with you, I just love talking to you about anything and
everything - whether it's technology or philosophy or raunchy jokes. I'm
just happy being with you, every precious moment we have on our own. And
when we...slip, and our lips end up together, or our hands or naked bodies
entwined - I treasure every second and tuck away the memories to live them
over again.
And when we're not together physically - sometimes, I wish we could ... be
naughty via our chosen mode of communication - whether it involves your
gorgeous voice or not. But you're more controlled than I am.
You don't know how much I wish we'd met just two years earlier.
You think that I'm blind - but I know your faults and your darkness, and I
love all of you.
And you don't know that even though I say it's ok, so that you're fine and
feel supported, a lot of times it just aches constantly, and I cry myself to
sleep sometimes.
But I'll always be here.
Confession #1040
(Dawns note: Yes, this is a REAL confession - I verified it with the author)
I met a man in a bar one day, all I wanted was a one night stand of unabashed, hot, nasty, drunken sex with a stranger, I’ve never done that before and now I was in the unique position to do so. We met, we did the deed, I kicked him out in the morning, he said I’ll call you, I said no thanks, this was what it was, he said, okay you call me then.
I called, we met again, it was even better than the last time, we literally went for hours, hot, nasty, naughty sweaty, earth shattering, multiple climaxing, sex. Good lord, what had I gotten myself into.
The third time we met, we actually talked (after more hours of the same as before). We were having a cigarette, I don’t even smoke, but it seemed appropriate. He told me “my ex wife works for so & so”, I said really? What a coincidence my ex husband works for “so & so” too. I asked “her name doesn’t happen to be Jane Doe does it?” He looked at me, “yes, why do you know her”? I was stunned, I turned visibly pale he said. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, laugh, cry, I thought I was going to pass out.
You see, a year ago, my quiet unassuming, wonderful husband of 24 years, came home and announced I’m in love with “Jane Doe” at my work, I’m leaving you for her, it was complete and utter shock, I was not expecting it at all, we were not fighting, he still told me he loved me, we still made love. I filed for divorce, got a good attorney, some good counseling to keep me sane, and we went our separate ways.
Now here I was, with this man, this man who literally rocked my world for the last 3 days and he just happens to be the ex husband of the woman my husband left me for and is currently living with, what the hell happened, how was it that we met, were the stars misaligned? Did God have his back turned? How is it that of all the man I could have picked up on, it just happened to be him??? What are the odds?
He stayed quiet for a bit, then gathered me in his arms, threw his head back and laughed, “I guess I’m going to have to do you better from now on…………
Please stop straining yourself just to squeeze out a nasty fart in my presence. It is so annoying and rude. I am not nor was I ever impressed. Other than that you are a keeper.
Confession #1032
Hey,
I love you. I love you every second of the day. I think you are the
best thing that ever happened to me. But I wish you would show me how you
feel about me. Don't just assume that I always know - because I don't. I
wonder all the time. Sometimes a girl just needs to hear it.
Confession #1033
Honey, I realize that going bald at 25 cannot be easy for you. But please, please, enough with the comb over. You are not fooling anyone and it only makes you look ridiculous. I tried to point this out to you and you got too defensive. Trust me, baldness does not look all that bad on you. At least, it looks a hell of a lot better than that damn comb over.
Confession #1034
When you stay out all night drinking with your
brother-in-law, I let the dog sleep on your pillow.
The fact that you hate the dog makes it that much
sweeter.
Confession #1035
It is not my responsibility to police your diet. You need to be a big boy and watch what you eat. You are now diabetic and therefore there are foods that can make you really sick if you eat them. If you have a death wish, continue to drink the soda, eat the sugary cereal, and load up on all the things you know you should not have. I will enjoy the life insurance money. The rest of the people in the house do not have any dietary restrictions and should not be expected to adhere to the same diet. You as a nearly 40 year old adult should have enough self control to not eat your son's cereal or to buy a doughnut at the convenience store on your way to work. If you end up in the hospital again, do not expect much sympathy from me. You have to be in control of you, I can't do it nor should I be expected to.
Confession #1036
Stop talking to me like shit in front of other people. Why do you keep doing this? I am so sick of being berated in front of our friends and our family...you patronizing fuckwit. I used to think that answering you back and defending myself was better than keeping quiet, because I didn't want people to think that I was a push-over. But, now I just keep quiet because I don't want to make a scene...so I sit there and let you talk me me like a child.
People notice. They have said it to me. Even YOUR friends. They think you are rude and obnoxious. Perhaps if you stopped drinking so much when we socialize you wouldn't act like that. But, I don't think it is even the alcohol anymore - I think it is just you. You like to feel like the 'big man' - and treating your wife like an idiot apparently makes you one.
I can't believe you refuse to even acknowledge your behaviour the next day when you are sober. You fucking bastard. You think you are so fucking great don't you.
Confession #1037
I love you with my whole heart. You are the best thing ever. I don't deserve you!!! However, when you are gone, I really really enjoy having the bed all to myself. No snoring!!!! Baby, it is AWESOME!
Confession #1038
I live in fear everyday that something is going to slip and I'll find out you've gone back to looking at dirty pictures online at work and posting your profile on personal sites...or that you've "pretended" you wanted to meet someone so they would send you their nasty, naked pictures. I'm still not 100% sure that was true about it all being a ruse, but I do so want it to be the truth. I love you with all my heart and soul. I have trouble breathing when I think of you and I not being together or something happening to you. But I won't allow you to cheat on me whether it's emotionally or physically. I forgave you once and told you that if I ever found out it was happening again we were through. We've had a child since then but that promise still stands. I will not allow that in my life. I CAN make it on my own, but trust that it will cost you both monetary and mentally because it's not something I will 'play nice' about. Pornographic material is not okay with me and considering I'm more than open to just about anything you'd want to do, I don't see why you should need it. If you do "need it" than maybe that's something you should have treated through therapy or something. I offered to go with you or just support you if you went but you came up with all sorts of excuses. I've taken the password lock off the computer and our email account and only spy on your email account every so often, but something inside of me tells me it's not over. That you're lying to me again and cheating on my trust. I have never been anything but faithful to you and want little more than to make you happy and provide a good and happy home life for our children. That takes both of us. It will kill something inside of me if I find out I've been living a lie. Please, please tell me you're not trolling again...
Confession #1039
I know the reasons we can't be together. But so help me God, I love you -
and *want* you - so much. We've been good friends for over half a decade,
and it was three and a half years before I realised how I *really* felt
about you. I should have known - I always felt guilty when we hugged just
that little bit too long. Then I was obsessed with whether you felt the same
way about me. When I found out ten months later (in spectacular fashion)
that you *did*, I couldn't have been happier, no matter how difficult things
were.
We've always been able to talk about anything, but when we first kissed,
when you first really put your arms around me, I felt like I'd come home.
The sexual attraction was - and is - so incredibly strong, it just floored
me, and does even now. I know when you're around before you clear your
throat in that distinctive way of yours, and when our eyes first meet, it's
like an electric shock and my heart does flip flops. When you lean down to
kiss me on the cheek, your spicy cologne and deep, sexy voice make me weak
at the knees. Just sitting next you with my arm against yours ever so
lightly is an incredibly erotic experience. Basically, when I'm around you,
I'm within *centimetres* of ripping your clothes off most of the time.
And what's even more amazing is that while I'm within centimetres of having
my wicked way with you, I just love talking to you about anything and
everything - whether it's technology or philosophy or raunchy jokes. I'm
just happy being with you, every precious moment we have on our own. And
when we...slip, and our lips end up together, or our hands or naked bodies
entwined - I treasure every second and tuck away the memories to live them
over again.
And when we're not together physically - sometimes, I wish we could ... be
naughty via our chosen mode of communication - whether it involves your
gorgeous voice or not. But you're more controlled than I am.
You don't know how much I wish we'd met just two years earlier.
You think that I'm blind - but I know your faults and your darkness, and I
love all of you.
And you don't know that even though I say it's ok, so that you're fine and
feel supported, a lot of times it just aches constantly, and I cry myself to
sleep sometimes.
But I'll always be here.
Confession #1040
(Dawns note: Yes, this is a REAL confession - I verified it with the author)
I met a man in a bar one day, all I wanted was a one night stand of unabashed, hot, nasty, drunken sex with a stranger, I’ve never done that before and now I was in the unique position to do so. We met, we did the deed, I kicked him out in the morning, he said I’ll call you, I said no thanks, this was what it was, he said, okay you call me then.
I called, we met again, it was even better than the last time, we literally went for hours, hot, nasty, naughty sweaty, earth shattering, multiple climaxing, sex. Good lord, what had I gotten myself into.
The third time we met, we actually talked (after more hours of the same as before). We were having a cigarette, I don’t even smoke, but it seemed appropriate. He told me “my ex wife works for so & so”, I said really? What a coincidence my ex husband works for “so & so” too. I asked “her name doesn’t happen to be Jane Doe does it?” He looked at me, “yes, why do you know her”? I was stunned, I turned visibly pale he said. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, laugh, cry, I thought I was going to pass out.
You see, a year ago, my quiet unassuming, wonderful husband of 24 years, came home and announced I’m in love with “Jane Doe” at my work, I’m leaving you for her, it was complete and utter shock, I was not expecting it at all, we were not fighting, he still told me he loved me, we still made love. I filed for divorce, got a good attorney, some good counseling to keep me sane, and we went our separate ways.
Now here I was, with this man, this man who literally rocked my world for the last 3 days and he just happens to be the ex husband of the woman my husband left me for and is currently living with, what the hell happened, how was it that we met, were the stars misaligned? Did God have his back turned? How is it that of all the man I could have picked up on, it just happened to be him??? What are the odds?
He stayed quiet for a bit, then gathered me in his arms, threw his head back and laughed, “I guess I’m going to have to do you better from now on…………
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
True Wife Confessions 103 Species of Crows
Confession #1021
I love you. I really, honestly, truly do. But . . .
The love I feel for you is no where near as strong as the love I feel for me ex. He and I started talking again. And if I'm given the chance, I will leave you for him.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you.
Confession #1022
If we all get sick with the same cold, how come you always, and I mean every
single time, get it the worst? For years I thought you were just sickly,
but now I think it's in your head. I got a cold and still took care of the
kids all through the night, leaving me with two hours of sleep, still went
to work the next day, hoping to come home to a nap only to have you hand
over the kids and go take one yourself? Because the full night's rest plus
two naps wasn't enough. And now, instead of sleep, I get to watch the kids
so you can do everything you didn't do while you were asleep? I was sick,
too, asshole. I can't help but think that you are just a big, lazy baby.
Suck it up.
Confession #1023
Hubby,
I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.
Confession #1024
I wish you were more ambitious. You are a great
father and husband, but I wish it was as
important to you as it is to me to build a secure
future for us and our children.
Confession #1025
When you fart in my close proximity it TOTALLY turns me off. Think before you fart, I would hate for you to injure yourself trying to squeeze one out just to piss me off. Other than that and the pissing on the floor in the bathroom, you are a keeper.
Confession #1026
I hate you.
I hate you more NOW than I did when I was married to you.
The only reason you are keeping us apart is because we are so much alike and you know it.
You are afraid that I might tell her all of the incredibly mean and malicious things you did to me while we were married and you know she'd leave your ass if she found out about them. And you can't STAND to be alone so you want to keep her as close to you and as far away from me as possible.
That's okay though.
She'll figure out what an ass you are and leave you and THEN???!!! you'll be the one crying instead of me.
Confession #1027
When I've had 4 hours of sleep, and there is still half an hour to go before I have to get out of bed and work harder than anyone I know including you (and you admit it), and you have woken me up to ask for sex, you're not going to like the answer. Stop doing it.
Confession #1028
Have you noticed that every small inconvenience or discomfort you cause me, real or imagined, costs you money? It's quite a nice arrangement, I think, and mutually beneficial. I don't nag. I shop.
Confession #1029
I know you still love her. That's okay. I still love him, too. We'll always keep some love for the people in our pasts and the people we imagined them to be.
But don't tell our friends how much you miss her. Don't ever bring her up to me again. Don't bring it up where it will get back around to me. I've never made you feel like you were my consolation prize. Am I yours?
She's a cunt, she's tried to break us up, she's intruded and inflamed. But that's not why I hate her. I hate her because you don't. I'd never known I was capable of such hate and murderous rage before. I wish she would die.
Confession #1030
When I am trying to sleep, for the love of god do not turn on the TV in the bedroom. I can't sleep when it is on and I do not want to hear a running commentary of what is happening. I get into bed at night to sleep, not to watch TV. If you want to watch it go in the other room. I did not even want it in the bedroom, but like with everything else you whined and pouted until I gave in because I was so sick of arguing with you. Every night I think about taking a pair of scissors and cutting off the cord so you can't use it. Some time after I am sleep deprived enough I might just do it.
I love you. I really, honestly, truly do. But . . .
The love I feel for you is no where near as strong as the love I feel for me ex. He and I started talking again. And if I'm given the chance, I will leave you for him.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you.
Confession #1022
If we all get sick with the same cold, how come you always, and I mean every
single time, get it the worst? For years I thought you were just sickly,
but now I think it's in your head. I got a cold and still took care of the
kids all through the night, leaving me with two hours of sleep, still went
to work the next day, hoping to come home to a nap only to have you hand
over the kids and go take one yourself? Because the full night's rest plus
two naps wasn't enough. And now, instead of sleep, I get to watch the kids
so you can do everything you didn't do while you were asleep? I was sick,
too, asshole. I can't help but think that you are just a big, lazy baby.
Suck it up.
Confession #1023
Hubby,
I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.
Confession #1024
I wish you were more ambitious. You are a great
father and husband, but I wish it was as
important to you as it is to me to build a secure
future for us and our children.
Confession #1025
When you fart in my close proximity it TOTALLY turns me off. Think before you fart, I would hate for you to injure yourself trying to squeeze one out just to piss me off. Other than that and the pissing on the floor in the bathroom, you are a keeper.
Confession #1026
I hate you.
I hate you more NOW than I did when I was married to you.
The only reason you are keeping us apart is because we are so much alike and you know it.
You are afraid that I might tell her all of the incredibly mean and malicious things you did to me while we were married and you know she'd leave your ass if she found out about them. And you can't STAND to be alone so you want to keep her as close to you and as far away from me as possible.
That's okay though.
She'll figure out what an ass you are and leave you and THEN???!!! you'll be the one crying instead of me.
Confession #1027
When I've had 4 hours of sleep, and there is still half an hour to go before I have to get out of bed and work harder than anyone I know including you (and you admit it), and you have woken me up to ask for sex, you're not going to like the answer. Stop doing it.
Confession #1028
Have you noticed that every small inconvenience or discomfort you cause me, real or imagined, costs you money? It's quite a nice arrangement, I think, and mutually beneficial. I don't nag. I shop.
Confession #1029
I know you still love her. That's okay. I still love him, too. We'll always keep some love for the people in our pasts and the people we imagined them to be.
But don't tell our friends how much you miss her. Don't ever bring her up to me again. Don't bring it up where it will get back around to me. I've never made you feel like you were my consolation prize. Am I yours?
She's a cunt, she's tried to break us up, she's intruded and inflamed. But that's not why I hate her. I hate her because you don't. I'd never known I was capable of such hate and murderous rage before. I wish she would die.
Confession #1030
When I am trying to sleep, for the love of god do not turn on the TV in the bedroom. I can't sleep when it is on and I do not want to hear a running commentary of what is happening. I get into bed at night to sleep, not to watch TV. If you want to watch it go in the other room. I did not even want it in the bedroom, but like with everything else you whined and pouted until I gave in because I was so sick of arguing with you. Every night I think about taking a pair of scissors and cutting off the cord so you can't use it. Some time after I am sleep deprived enough I might just do it.
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