Thursday, February 01, 2007

A word of advice...

For all the young women who come to this site using this search phrase:

"Does semen (or sperm) make your teeth whiter?"

No, sweetie. Nor does it prevent breast cancer. It does not make you taller, nor your boobs get bigger. It does not clear up skin problems, help with headaches or make you lose weight.

It can, however, make you very popular. It can also give you STD's in your throat.
Play safe.

XO

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

But it CAN cause pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

If it did, I would have the whitest set in the world.

Anonymous said...

i still stand by it soothing a sore throat.

Anonymous said...

The porn industry's greatest disservice to women*? Convincing men that semen is DELICIOUS!!!!!

Of course it is pretty easy to convince someone of something they want so badly to believe.

*Yes, I know they have done worse. It's a joke.....kind of.

Anonymous said...

Bravo Dawn!!!

Anonymous said...

But it can put a very big smile on your face! :)

Anonymous said...

Also, it has 7,000 calories per teaspoon.

No, really!

Anonymous said...

Mouth love doesn't cause pregnancy!

Anonymous said...

I, myself, am a fan of the penis...and like to swallow, but I am an exception, I think.

But yes - Oral with new "unknown" partners can transmit all sorts of STD's - Thats why they make the flavored condoms...

stasia said...

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Oh my, that was funny! Do people get here that way?

Anonymous said...

Baaaa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa!!!!

Men will say ANYTHING!

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn,

Please don't put lie to all of our stupid lines - we need all the help we can get.

Sincerely,

your male readers

Anonymous said...

Oh, and 7:57:

"A tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories. "

Damn you - now google has a record, somewhere, of me searching for "calories semen" =)

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure the 7000 calories thing was a joke.

At least I hope so.

DUH.

Anonymous said...

Since somebody brought it up - ha ha! - no really, what's a polite way to let your husband know that even though you tried it (swallowing) once, it gagged you and tastes nasty and you're happy to do the deed, but could he not get his feelings hurt if you don't want the extra 6 calories?

Anonymous said...

You could always keep a towel right next to the bed and spit it out - I have done that when the guy I am with has particularly funky spunk. - Then rinse with the water you have right by the bed.

Just don't make a big show out of it. He most likely won't even notice you spit it out.

Anonymous said...

Bravo. fuckin Bravo.

Anonymous said...

semen is gross on so many levels. how are women supposed to swallow the stuff when it even repulses men.looks gross, tastes gross and smells gross, 3 strikes for the spermies.

Anonymous said...

Hold it one your tongue for a moment, get used to the taste. Then swallow. It will make your man crazy. How do I know...hmm. I'll never tell.

Anonymous said...

Men have to swallow, if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

I really hope you women who are saying that you swallow semen are not serious! That is *SOOOO* gross beyond belief and I could vomit just at the thought of it! The purpose of it is to make babies it's *not* a food,why don't we bottle it and make it into salad dressing,or drinks? We should open up women's ovaries and eat our eggs for breakfast then too although that wouldn't be as gross! Why don't people put the semen in a dish with a woman's egg and eat the fertilized egg while we are at it!

I once read a male porn reviewer review of a porn video called cum shots and he even said lets face it cum is gross,he called it penis snot! And a woman said when her boyfriend watches porn videos she has to turn away when she knows they are about to ejaculate on a woman's face,she said that cum is gross and that it has the consistency of snot. And she said it reminds her of snot running out of children's noses in a school yard,and she said it's so gross to see that on someone's face and in their mouth.

And in pornography women are often called woman hating names like cum eating sluts whores and bitches often with men ejaculating semen on them,lets really think about what this means!

Anonymous said...

If it did, I would have the whitest set in the world.

Anonymous said...

How ever a real study did show that women that swallowed were less depressed than women who didnt! Done at SUNY Albany in the early 2000's

seansk8z said...

guys swallow plenty I'm sure, purposefully or accidentally when they go down on women. I mean your wetness gets everywhere... And we taste it in our mouth for a good half hour or so... What's so bad about a quick spurt and swallow? You got it way easier if you ask me

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, I love to swallow. My hubby got me into it, it's not that bad ladies... Let's treat our men right.

Anonymous said...

There's an old saying... Swallow some cum today so your hubby won't wanna go elsewhere to play.