one day I will get the strength to leave
I realize it has not been long, but I have never been more certain in my
life. Every time I look into your eyes, I fall in love with you all over
During the time that we have spent together, you have changed me (for the
better) in more ways I ever believed were possible. A feat that no one has
been able to do, not even myself.
Despite all my flaws, which are far too many to name, you have managed to
love me just the same.
Often enough, I can’t even find the words to describe what you make me feel.
Even a Thesaurus would be of no use.
I know I’ve said this before, but I truly mean it with all my heart, I love
you and appreciate you more than I probably let on.
There isn’t another person that I could imagine being with forever and just
the idea alone brings a smile to my face.
I love you Sweetheart. Happy Valentine’s Day.
I know we are getting married soon, but I can't stop thinking of him. I've
tried so many things to forget him. Even though you are a good, handsome
man, I have been in love with him for years. I know he has nothing to offer
me as far as family and commitment, and I am heartbroken that he doesn't
love me the way i do him. I still dream about him and I miss him so much it
hurts my heart. I just want to kiss him one more time. I wish I could be a
good wife and have a loyal heart. But the truth is if he asked me tomorrow,
I would go. I'm so sorry.
Tonight, when you told me that I had gotten too fat, just like your ex, I wanted to stick my foot up your ass. YOU'VE gained weight too fucker. And you did it on VALENTINE'S DAY.
the more you talk about this float trip the more uncomfortable i get... because of what happened when you went last year... and you know what I'm talking about...i dunno if you could tell by the look on my face every time you bring it up.....and i think i have every right to feel that way...i was a lot nicer about it last time than i should have been... I'm not sure i will be able to if it happens again....just had to get that off my chest...and give you something to think about.... how would you feel if the tables were turned... more than likely you would feel the same way i do about it....this may sound childish,immature or bitchy but if you allow her to touch you like that again i can't have you here...i don't care how sore i am I'm not going to go to another man for a massage... there have been times i was tempted cause i was hurting really bad but i couldn't allow myself to do that. there is no reason for anyone else to be touching me in that way other than you. i would like to think you feel the same way. but apparently you don't or at least then you didn't. lets hope things have changed and that you feel the same way i do. cause honestly this could make or break us... i have told you how i feel about it i just hope you think about it before you do anything. cause this time I'm serious. i really don't know what else to say about it.. i shouldn't have to say any of it but i am just so you know. i just dont know what to do anymore. it seems that at times your friendship with her is more important thatn bein with me. cause you had no issue with givin our relationship up in the past but you are puttin up one hell of a fight for her. as much as i hate to say it it make me wonder who you really love. we have 10 years and you have less than a year of knowin her.
Thank you. For putting in the effort to surprise me on Valentine's Day and
making it so very special. I would have been happy with the card and
flowers, but you went that extra mile and it means a lot to me you took a
night off so I wouldn't have to sit home all night alone on Valentine's Day.
It is hard working different shifts but it makes the time we are together
mean that much more. I truly love you and am so happy we found each other.
To my husband:
I can't shake this feeling that you are keeping something from me. The feeling that the life we have together is slipping away. You are truly a great husband and I am so glad that we found each other. But lately, things are getting away from us. Have you done something I need to know about? Are you thinking of doing something? I don't know but it is eating me up inside.
I feel like I need to begin distancing myself emotionally in order to make the hurt that I feel is coming smaller. The walls that we worked so hard to take down are being built up again. This makes me so sad. I so don't want to be disappointed in you. You are truely the man of my dreams and I don't want to have to rethink my choice. I don't know what to do. You tell me I have nothing to worry about, but something is off.
If you want out, I just wish you would tell me.
Thank you for telling your brother to get his head out of his ass and help out around the house. I know you were just sparing him from my wrath, but I still appreciate it.
We go through this every year on your birthday. Although you are physically still here, you abandon me and go into a cave of depression so deep that I've given up hope of reaching you there. I can see it coming as we get closer to the date. One day you are fine, the next you aren't feeling so well. The day after that you start going to work early and staying late. You stop talking to me except for very basic stuff. You do that for several days with the date of your birthday being the worst. On that day you leave before I get up and you stay at your shop until at least 11 p.m. Then you crawl into bed without a word and move as far away from me as possible. On that day you do not even answer your cell phone for fear that someone will wish you a happy birthday. You won't take gifts from me. If someone else sends you a gift or a card, you loose it in one of the piles of stuff in your office. The day after, things begin to improve but it still takes several days for you to fully emerge from that cave. Often, you emerge angry and our first conversation degenerates into a fight.
I wish I understood it. I wish I could get into your head and erase whatever childhood trauma made you hate yourself so much that you cannot stand even the slightest hint that someone cares about you on your birthday. I love you so much but it hurts to be around you this week.
Even though you never said anything about my weight gain (and thank you for that), I have noticed that, now that I'm losing it, you have become more attentive in bed. More like it was when we first met. What an incentive!