Thursday, February 07, 2008

True Wife Confessions 236 Fruit Nectar Amendment

Confession #2351

Dear Husband,

When I tell you I'm too exhausted for sex, and you say, "It's okay, I understand. Tomorrow night, then" that doesn't mean you should then grope me for hours when we get to bed.

So now I'm supposed to remain functional until 11:00pm on less than four hours of sleep?

Honey. I am a wife. And a mom. And a full-time employee outside of the home. Is it too much to ask to get 6 hours of sleep without being groped, massaged, and grinded on? My ass does not exist for your amusement.


Your Very Tired Wife

Confession #2352

Sometimes I'm angry because there are a lot of men who'd love to have a kinky woman who'd try anything except fire, knives, children, or animals.

Mostly I'm just really sad because you don't even want me for any kind of sex at all. I know you love me. There's lots of cuddling. But you haven't wanted sex with me since we were married 16 months ago.

I knew your sex drive wasn't as high as mine, but I didn't know we wouldn't do it at ALL.

How many marriages are like mine?

Confession #2353

I am planning to get pregnant later this year. I want to have
another baby, but refusing to have a baby is the only "power" I have
over you right now. So here's the deal: if you lose 50 pounds by
August, I will have unprotected sex with you. If you lose another 50
pounds while I am pregnant, I will let you into the delivery
room. Of course, you've already said you'll be working all of
June/July/August, so I'm not sure when we could get pregnant. Also,
if you want a baby, I get a trip to Europe. I may have to go without
you. After the baby is born, I will stay home for a year, during
which time you will not complain about my housekeeping or my not
bringing money in. You say you want our kids to have a full time
parent, but then you want me to make more money. I can't do both. I
worked night shifts for a year and napped when the baby did so I was
bringing in money and being a full time parent. When the baby gave
up naps, I had to give up, too. You will give up role playing games,
like you said you were going to, but haven't yet and in fact have
started up a new game.
Lest I sound entitled, we had these agreements before we got
married. He makes more money than I do, so him staying home isn't an
option. We would be in debt forever paying off his student loans on
my salary. I feel bad even thinking of using a pregnancy as a
bargaining chip, but I don't know what else to do. My gentle
suggestions, cooking with less fat, buying lower-fat products, etc.
are all met with resistance. He sees them as personal attacks,
insults. I cook and eat lower fat products. The three year old eats
lower fat products. Broccoli does not have to have cheese on it
every time. Vegetables do not require butter. It is not necessary
to follow every recipe exactly. Cookbooks written before 1960 have
way too much butter in them.

Sorry, way long confession. I need sleep. And the toddler does not nap.

Confession #2354

You Bastard!! Did you really think I'd never figure out who "bulging_panties" is? Again you underestimate me. It's a freakin he-she and he's freaking ugly! What the hell is wrong with you? Aside from having no respect for me (obvious to a blind person) have you no respect for yourself? You may think you've fooled me, and the marriage therapist, but you're the fool.

Confession #2355

You know how sometimes when you tell me you love me I’ll say, “Really, really?” And you get upset because I’m questioning you.

Well, the way you talked to me tonight… That’s the reason I question your feelings for me. I greeted you at the door with a hug and kiss. I’ve been chipper over the phone. I’ve sent you photos. I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. And this conversation with our son’s teacher really was something I wanted to talk to you about. You could have, in a nice way, said “I’m tired but I promise we can talk about this tomorrow.” Instead, I got a “fuck off and leave me alone” attitude. And you even admitted you were doing that on purpose. How dare I try to talk to you about our son. OH yeah, I forgot. You don’t want to deal with him. You just want to keep a photo on your desk and talk about him to coworkers, clients, and female seatmates on your flights – so they think you are father of the year. What a fucking JOKE!

I HAD felt closer to you this past week than I had in a long time. It WAS nice to feel like we are a team again. It was nice to feel that maybe our marriage wasn’t so empty afterall.

If you ever wonder WHY I question your feelings for me, THIS example is why. Why do you think its ok to talk to me like that? I usually don’t say anything but “sorry” to you when you go off of me. I grovel because that’s what you want. And I don’t want a fight. Because you say some really nasty things when we fight. But, you’ve got to realize that this sort of thing really eats at the love I feel for you. In fact, its all gone. I was able to muster up some tender feelings for you this past week because you did the laundry. (How sad. You do some laundry and I’m ready to fall in love with you all over again.) But trust me…. Those tender feelings are GONE now!

OH I only came into the bedroom and laid in bed for awhile because I figured you were having sex with your favorite person – YOURSELF. I’ll be damned if you’re gonna be an asshole then, get off AND get jizz all over the bedspread I just washed.

Confession #2356

You asked me today what kind of wedding we will have one day. I smiled at you and told you that I didn't care. And I don't. I had the big wedding. The big show to prove that I was worthy of being a wife, that I had been deemed good enough to be get somebody to propose to me. I don't need that again. I just want you. I want the quiet space after we make love - or the laughing that we dissolve into when one of us makes a joke that no one else would find funny. I don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore.

Confession #2357

We're not married. Not even close, but you're still driving me crazy.
Actually, it's not even you, per se.
I love living with you, talking to you, being around you.
You love your family and your job, you've got a great attitude toward life, which I'm very thankful for.
I just can't stand some of the people that you work with!!
You knew this and didn't seem to care, not taking my feelings into consideration whatsoever when deciding to work with these people! The really awful thing is that I think you're planning on working with these people for the rest of your career! I think the world of you, but I don't know if I can deal with them...
I really don't want to turn this into a fight, since it's so silly. I just wish you'd think before you do these kinds of things because it makes me feel like I'm second-rate in your life

Confession #2358

I will never tell you that I secretly want to vote for Hillary Clinton. I especially would never tell our ultra conservative families who think Mike Huckabee hung the moon and will be the only candidate who can keep this nation from burning in hell. I'm so glad voting is confidential ;)

Confession #2359

Sometimes I believe you are insane. When I got home from work, you were in a terrible mood. I waited for a bit and then inquired as to why you were storming around. "You know why", you said. But I didn't.

And then you accused me of throwing my birthday cake on the floor and leaving for work.

Huh? I wasn't sure I had heard you properly. My birthday cake? I looked at you and told you that I had no idea of what you were talking about. Apparently, when you got home - the cake was on the floor and you were sure that I had thrown it on the floor and run off to work - leaving it there for you to clean.

When I suggested that this was a ridiculous scenario, you stared at me. When I suggested that perhaps the cat had been on the table and knocked it over, you continued to stare at me.

What type of person throws their birthday cake on the kitchen floor as a premeditated act of sabotage - and what kind of person dreams this up as a plausible rationale for the cake being on the floor?

Confession #2360

I’ve started doing something different every time you piss me off. Now adays, when you piss me off, I start cleaning out the closet. Nothing makes me feel better than to think about some old, crazy, smelly homeless man wearing one of your fairly expensive, favorite shirts. So I guess you could say that when you piss me off, you’re really doing some less fortunate soul a favor. Oh and guess what? I also rip apart a pic of you and me. I tear you off then use a fork to stab out the eyes. And then I scratch at your face with a scissors. Maybe that’s crazy. But after all of these years of putting up with you being an asshole whenever you feel like it (which is getting to be often) this is what is keeping me sane. When our son is much older (and his learning problems can be ironed-out and I no longer need your money to pay for his specialists) I am SO leaving your hairy, flat, flabby, ugly, stinky ass!

You make good money NOW, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding someone else to put up with your outsides, (which are as ugly as your insides).


Anonymous said...


OMG I could have written this post. I am the most kinkiest gal I know but all I get from him is I'm not in the mood. Even when we do it it's not very good. The only thing that keeps me from cheating is the fact the only other guy I want dh knows and I don't know how to contact him without dh finding out.

Hugs to you and know that your not alone. I think I've seen more action from my toys than my hubby in the last year.

Anonymous said...

2359-What is he on? My dogs can get to anything on the counter. The cat definitely can. Of course, there would be no cake left on the floor after that (though probably dog vomit all over the house).

Anonymous said...

2351: you didn't say you don't want sex, you're just too tired. you also say that having sex would only leave you with four hours of sleep when you really want six, which means your sex sessions are two hours (you can probably feel the envy of some of the sexless women of TWC right now...LOL). anyway, you can explain to your husband that every session doesn't have to be a marathon. that's what quickies are for, or oral sex or handjobs. over and done in 10 to 15 minutes, very little energy required and you get 5 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. tell him a couple of times a week it's going to be that or nothing. i'm sure he'll come around.

2353: due to comment moderation, i can't say what i really think of your antics. however, i'm sure you've watched enough episodes of oprah to know that your blackmail will not work, or at least it won't work forever. i'm as shallow as you are, so i know you have to come up with a permanent fix for your partner to lose weight. that involves finding out the reason(s) why he plumped up, helping him come to grips with them, becoming more active and eating healthier. all of that is necessary, not bargaining babies.

2358: hillary's going to lose.

2360: comment moderation...comment moderation....damn it.

Anonymous said...


The only person I feel bad for in this situation is the yet to be conceived child that you are planning to have to get your way.

Only allowing him to be in the delivery room if he loses another 50 lbs? That is heartless and so wrong. It doesn't sound like you love him at all, i hope your plan goes horribly awry and for some reason you find yourself unable to get pregnant, for the sake of the child that will come about if you can.

Anonymous said...

2359:I am going to assume you are a most men dont post on here ... ARE YOU SECRETLY MARRIED TO MY FATHER????? LOL I burt out laughing at this one and Im completely sorry if i offend you but Its just too funny to think that someone else in this world has the same exact moronosism(if thats eve a word) as my father! He once accused my mother of bringing him to a certain restaurant for dinner becasue she knew IT WOULD GIVE HIM FOOD POISONING! lol I feel badly for you if this man is ANYTHING LIKE MY FATHER! With all the accusations my father threw at my mother it turned into physical abuse and my mother ended her life becuase she didnt know how else to get away from his insanity! Good luck with this guy!

Anonymous said...

"I also rip apart a pic of you and me. I tear you off then use a fork to stab out the eyes. And then I scratch at your face with a scissors. Maybe that’s crazy."

Maybe? You're obviously frustrated, with him and the inability to work things out peacefully, so I honestly do feel for you.

But the cutting, stabbing, and scratching of pictures? I doubt it's theraputic enough in the long run to be worth all the effort. Spend that energy trying to talk to him, or trying to leave.

Anonymous said...

2358 - The very idea that anyone not wearing a straitjacket and Napoleon hat could vote for Huckabee is terrifying!

Anonymous said...

fuck off, D.

2351: My husband does this too. It makes me hate him just a little when he does, and it usually ends with me storming out of the room to get some sleep on the couch. I don't know why he's so thick on this issue - treating me like I'm just a brainless sex toy is NEVER going to get him laid and he knows it, but he keeps trying anyway. Doofus. Tell him to go away, and do it loudly if necessary. You need your sleep, and he has two hands if he needs sex THAT bad.

Anonymous said...

to 2351:
you would be amazed at the gratitude generated by a quick BJ or a helping hand. Throw in lotion, and you get double bonus points. And when you are needing something in return, just remind him where his thingy was last night.
A husband whose wife's ass still drives him crazy

Anonymous said...


YIKES and I mean YIKES!!! Shallow much? I feel for your unborn baby and husband.

Anonymous said...

Dear #2351,
As the formerly exhausted wife of a past midnight groper, I have four suggestions you might consider.
1) Next time it happens, just lie there and pretend to sleep soundly. Then suddenly gasp, flail around and elbow him hard in the gut, or bonus, in the groin. When he complains, act really sleepy and surprised, and, after apologizing (and offering to get him an ice pack), tell him you were having this really weird dream that a giant octopus was attacking you.
2) Get one of those full body pillows, and tell him you need it because your back has been hurting a lot lately. Put the pillow between you. Then he can grind on that!
3) Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that if he doesn't stop interfering with your sleep, that you will sleep elsewhere. Then do it, even if you have to put a cot in the living room.
4) Tell him how bad you feel that your sex life has been going down the tubes lately because you're so tired, and that you really want to get a sitter, schedule a hot date and really get some good sexing going. All bets are off, though, if he grinds on you and keeps you from sleeping, because while you appreciate that he is still hot for you after all these years, it makes you feel like an icky sex doll.
By the way, I am not really serious about two of these. And #4 is the one that worked, though I really fantasized about #1.
Good luck!

Mitzi Green said...

2353--please, please, please--do not give up your birth control. not until you and your husband have worked out your differences, or have just plain decided to give it up. pregnancy and a baby wreak havoc on the strongest of marriages; they do not fix bad ones.

Anonymous said...

2353 here. I know I sound like the most shallow person ever, but this isn't about vanity. It's about health. My husband is 6'6" and somewhere over 350 lbs. (Our scale only goes to 350.) Human beings are not supposed to be that big. He has type 2 diabetes on both sides of the family. His risk factors are high. As for the spitefulness, he did a lot of things during and after my first pregnancy that were very hurtful, but he still seems to think were no big deal (being out of town and out of contact while I was nine months pregnant, after I'd had a preterm labor scare; criticizing my housework the day we brought the baby home; hip-checking me in front of my friends because I was "in the way"). I'm just at the end of my rope and needed to vent. I thank you all for listening.

Anonymous said...


What 2351 SAID is that her husband groped her for two hours so she couldn't get more than 4 hours of sleep.

Listen already.

Anonymous said...

2351: I'll second the recommendations of 4:47 - my husband was the same way. Until I built Mt. Wifey (that's what he calls it) between us with pillows. I even taught the dog to sleep there. Now I sleep soundly and if disturbed feign sleep. I'm sure he knows I'm faking, but he gets the hint.

Anonymous said...

5:43, you're right. i can't imagine him just groping her for hours and thought something else must have happened. but she only said groped so you're right.

anyway, advice still applies.

Anonymous said...


I know I run the risk of becoming the second most unpopular commenter on this blog (if you choose to post this comment) and I really can’t believe I am saying this but I am just going to say it…(deep breath)…I don’t think you are being fair to d. He has annoyed and pissed me off on many occasions and I do not like him, but I thought the purpose of comment moderation was to encourage maturity and respect among commenters. I assumed you wouldn’t post any of d’s comments and I was okay with that. When I read his comment today I thought “well, he did behave himself, so that is okay.” But then you allowed another commenter to tell him to “fuck off.” So you are tying his hands and allowing another commenter to take a shot at him? Hardly the atmosphere I thought you were trying to foster, but that could be my mistake. If your only purpose was to force a kinder and gentler d to emerge you may have achieved your goal, but IMO you have not raised the maturity level of the comments section of this blog.

I love TWC, I think you are great, and I usually agree with your decisions. I am really not even all that worried about d. He’ll survive. But I have to say that if you allow commenters to make non-constructive negative comments to d, he is still achieving his goal of creating conflict on this site.

Anonymous said...

4:17, you sound like a very sweet guy who is just trying to be helpful but I honestly think you are missing the point. Her husband, and mine when he acts like this, is just plain being disrespectful. She needs sleep and shouldn't have to give her husband a BJ in order to have peace so she can rest. While I absolutely agree with you that sometimes a man just needs that attention from his wife, and that's fine, when my husband grabs at me and paws at me it is the opposite of a turn-on. It makes me resentful and angry, and the LAST thing I want to do when I feel that way - absolute, dead last, listed after scrubbing the toilet with my hairbrush LAST thing - is give him a blow job. I do NOT feel loving when he does that, I don't feel like doing him a favor with a quick BJ. I feel like kicking him in the shins and telling him to sleep on the couch. I'm not 2351 but I know that while your advice is very appreciated and very relevant when a man has a much higher sex drive than his wife, I don't think it's the right answer in THIS situation. He's being a jerk.

Anonymous said...

I think my favorite part of the comment section right now is the "fuck off, d." Thank anonymous 3:49 p.m.!

Dawn said...

You know Carolina, you make some very good points. And I must admit, I DID pause before clicking "publish comment".

On one hand, D has certainly developed strong feelings around his participation on the site. Does he deserve our politeness when he has been, in some ways, incredibly disrespectful? (Yeah, I haven't forgotten being called a sloppy obnoxious drunk, dude.)

And I did consider blocking his comments completely - but do I do this even when they are "relatively" benign? Does he have a right to participate?

I don't know. Often it is if I am herding cats here. This path is being forged by Us, and I will make missteps for sure.

What do you collectively think?

And for the record - I do not like the booty bump move. There is nothing less appealing than having an erect penis poking at you from the rear. A nice foot rub and "sleep well, love", will go a long ass way towards some sex with extra effort input.

Anonymous said...

D has been incredibly abusive and disrespectful, and he has said himself that your comment moderation is the only reason he's controlled himself.

The rule in all my relationships has been: the first slap is the last. No matter how nice the guy is later, begging and pleading to come back, I'm not letting him back in. Yeah, a cop could sit in the corner with his gun drawn to force the guy to be nice, and the guy might be nice. As long as the cop is there. Not what I want in my house. I'd rather be able to relax.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, personally, I vote to block him entirely. I was shocked and disappointed to see that you were allowing his comments to come through, and I strongly hope you will reconsider that decision. His very presence here is disruptive. He could choose to just post as "anonymous" and none of us would ever be the wiser. Why doesn't he? Because EVERY reply is a "neener neener you can't catch me" kind of immature power play to PROVE that he is really the boss of this whole situation. No, I don't think he should get a voice here. Frankly, I do think he should fuck off and if my saying so means my comment is censored, that's okay, because at least I said it and I'm not sorry. He needs to go away. He's a sad, sorry little man who has found what is supposed to be a safe haven for women, and he has turned it into his special play area. He has taken your website and made it into his podium upon which he can stand and proclaim that none of us silly women can tell him what to do or make him stop doing something we don't want him to do. He's the schoolyard bully. Maybe all he's doing is sticking his tongue out instead of continuing to throw punches, but do you really want to give him the space for that, either? That's what he's doing. You can make him stop, and I hope you will seriously consider doing so.

me, a dreamer and believer said...

d needs to go. he can still read. he's proven he is not willing to cease passive aggressive instigation by his snide comments.

Anonymous said...

I think for all the abuse, hate and judgement D heaped all over this site for months warrants the "Fuck off, D"'s. Just because he's posted a few "passive" posts doesn't mean we don't know exactly where this "man" stands in terms of his hatred towards women. He's a shit-stirer that's trying to get back into Dawn's good graces. Let's not forget how we got here so quickly, girls. I, for one, and not prepared to play the good girl role and forget and make nice. He's a fucking pig and does anyone really think he's changed his ways in a few weeks? Not I.

Fuck off, D. I don't care what your opinions are. I hate that your sniveling little shit still makes it on this site.

Anonymous said...

First, Dawn, I am very glad you took my comment in the spirit in which it was intended. You are a class act.

Second, if we are voting I think it probably would be best to not post d’s comments at all. I personally don’t mind them if he is respectful but he has just gone too far in the past and at this point it really does not matter what he says anymore. Some people are offended by his mere presence and he has no one to blame for that but himself.

Anonymous said...

"Does he deserve our politeness when he has been, in some ways, incredibly disrespectful?"

No. We gave him many chances. He acted like a prick as long as he was allowed to.

"And I did consider blocking his comments completely - but do I do this even when they are "relatively" benign? Does he have a right to participate?"

Nope. Nobody has rights unless you grant them. Free speech is guaranteed only in relation to what the government can and can't censor. You pay for this space. You run it according to your rules.

Anonymous said...

I agree, d's gotta go.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Not one vote in D's favor. I think you have your answer, Dawn. So far 7 unanimous votes to block his ass. Not to mention the previous "Fuck off D's". The guy is poison, he's got to go. Thanks for letting us all have a voice in this, we know you didn't have to.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, if I may add my voice to the chorus -- please block D. I was as surprised as previous commenters to see him come through even after moderation. His comment in the last set was ok, but the one in this one veered too close to his previous attitude for my liking. He is too polarizing, and ruins the site for me. Thanks for the great forum you've given us.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, D has insulted and laughed at the women on twc over and over again. The fact that he's now "playing nice" is just that ... playing. Please don't let him play you. Please bar D forever. Lola

Anonymous said...


Someone who would call an obviously intelligent woman (like omnia) a "40-watt bulb" and cause her and many other women to leave certainly needs to be blocked.

You say in your FAQ that this is a safe place for women to vent and be themselves WITHOUT getting called names.

D is calling these women names at EVERY TURN.

KICK THE WOLF out of the sheepfold already. This is your safe place, exercise your damn discretion already.

Dawn said...

I hear your voices - and I agree with you. I will reject his comments.

He is, as I am sure you already can guess, not happy about it. He has threatened to go Anonymous in the posts that I have already held back.

But thank you for THIS discussion - about what to do. This is part of why I so deeply love this community.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Dawn. And honestly, if you continue moderating posts for a while, even if he posts abusively as "anonymous" you won't let those posts through either. I know it makes more work for you to moderate but I don't see another way to get him to find somewhere else to amuse himself. Blocking him, and blocking any abusive "anonymous" people, is the best way to keep this community a safe place.


Anonymous said...

WTF? Why is that guy so fucking bored. What a loser.
Well, I'm happy about the decision you've made and I'm off to enjoy a lovely afternoon with my DH. I guess D will spend his afternoon thinking of sneaky ways to comment on an internet site devoted to married women. Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

If he goes anonymous and he acts like a normal person, his comments appear. If he goes anonymous and he acts like a dick, he gets blocked. "Watch out or I'll ... I'll submit to the rules like everyone else!" How is this threatening, again?

Thanks for this, Dawn.

Anonymous said...

Oh of course he's unhappy about it, he isn't getting what he thinks is his deserved and needed attention. Who cares. He can't be a normal adult with the maturity to know his ideas are offensive here and just leave. He's got to pout and "threaten" to post anonymously. He's a child. And there's nothing more unattractive than a little boy that can't grow up.
Jeez, he might as well threatened you with "I won't be your friend anymore", or "I'm tellin'".

I agree with the others, if he's an asshole with his anon postings he still won't get through. I have a feeling he won't though. He needs to be known or there's no fun for him. An anon asshole is useless.... it could be anyone.

Thanks Dawn for taking back your site.

me, a dreamer and believer said...

Thanks Dawn. If you ever open up all comments again, would you be able to block his IP address and then not have to wade thru all the comments? Just a thought. Thanks again for returning this site to its safe roots. You made the right decision.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much Dawn, for your effort to promote a sense of community on your site despite the additional work it has generated for you. I can't express how tense and uncomfortable it was for me to read some of the comments before.

The playground feels safe again. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Dear #2353,
I don't know if you're still reading, particularly since this comment thread wound up focusing on an issue that has been quite traumatizing to the community for a long time (Thank you Dawn! Thank you for tossing out the bully!).
But I hear you. I get your need to vent, and I hope it helps, in spite of shaming comments.
My bf is dealing with a similar thing. Her husband is going through a midlife crisis, and has gained enough weight that she just doesn't find him appealing anymore. Add to that the fact that she is bearing the brunt of housework and childrearing, and she just dreams of divorce.
The thing is, we've both bristled when we hear men bitch about their wives gaining weight, particularly through pregnancy, and thought "how dare he? she just had his child!" Now, my bf's hubby and yours don't have that birth excuse, but it does logically seem unfair and shallow to berate them for losing their boyish figures when we would hate them for doing it to us. Except that attraction isn't logical, is it? Neither is emotion.
And 100 lbs is a lot of weight to gain, and with the family history you describe, you are right to be concerned.
Is there anyone he respects outside the family who could talk to him about it? Sometimes a perspective outside the fishbowl of marriage and family works. Good luck. I feel for you.

Anonymous said...

What anonymous 5:14 up there said, a million times. Yes. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and also? How is it a surprise that if you fart in an elevator, nobody will want to ride with you? That can't be that big of a shock, can it?

Anonymous said...

4:17 here again.
A few thoughts - I haven't groped a woman in years....that look kills any thought of it. I seem to remember something about that, though....I might be a oddball, but whoopee with a woman that is not in the mood is worse than no whoopee at all.
Thinking back over the years - first couple filled with giggles and grins followed by a period of mutual selfish goals...then a lapse... opportunities are let to pass on by...a loss of interest develops that is fueled by demands of the job and children. The asking starts, followed by the "if you....I would"s. Somewhere along the line a form of begging comes in. Then one day, you realize there is no groping, no begging, not even the asking.
The groping will eventually stop.

Anonymous said...

To 2351-I'm worn out too, but I just wish my husband would grope me all night. I'm like 2352 - my husband never wants to do anything. I know for a fact he's not cheating on me, but he doesn't even care anymore if I give him a BJ. I pretty much have to rape him, pull down his pajamas, give him the BJ, and then push him out of bed so he will stand up and **** me. I've tried KY, pornos, everything. He says he loves me, but he doesn't act like it. Yesterday was my birthday. At 4pm, on the way home from work together, I asked him to stop by the grocery. When I came out with a cake, he wanted to know what it was for. "My birthday", I said. "Oh, happy birthday", he said flatly. He drank beer the rest of the afternoon, then fell asleep on the couch. When I asked if he and my 1-year old daughter were ready for cake and ice cream he said "y'all go ahead" and went back to sleep. He went to bed at 8pm, and then when I got in there he didn't even bother to kiss me or tell me he loved me. I woke him up and asked him why and you know what he said - "What's your problem?". So I just cried a little while he snored and then fell asleep. That's pretty much how every holiday and special occasion are in our house. He makes me feel like I am a piece of shit. I can't figure out why I love him so deeply.

Anonymous said...

I just had a horrible thought,

what if there is a letter "e" (commenter?) ...of course he will post anonymously.

Anonymous said...

8:33 It sounds like your husband is depressed or suffering some other physical illness. Is he cruel or just clueless? Hugs.

Anonymous said...

What is it with men and the midnight groping? Often I am not in the mood ('cause feeling like I'm last on hubby's priority list is such a turn-on), and the "helpful" other suggestions are a no go. I was forced to give oral sex at age 13, so I don't do that anymore. And hand jobs aggravate my carpal tunnel and give me migraines. (Sorry, I don't mean to sound so whiney.) Often, I'll start the hand job and he finishes. Any other suggestions?