Confession #2361
Dear Husband
We had the happiest marriage for lots of years. We were the envy of all our friends. Two great kids, no money worries. Then something shifted. The kids got older, you got more bitter and twisted and suddenly we were at this crossroads. I wouldn't fight back most of the time because of the kids and because I was getting older and couldn't stand the hassle. Then you stopped speaking to me for months and months over something so inconsequental. I heard you on the phone saying "I hate her with a vengeance". Something inside me died. All those years and you were reduced to that. Talking to some stranger about the mother of your children. Your wife of 27years.
I asked you to leave during this time on many occasions because the atmosphere was so bad and you finally did whilst I was away on a trip in early December. You left without telling the children and just moved out, taking only a few things. For the first time in my life I faced sleeping in a house alone all night. I faced the first Christmas without you in 30 years. I faced the first New Years without you for 30 years. Another piece of me died and it sent me over the edge. I haven't been to work since. Just cannot face the questions.
I just wanted to know...WHY? Why did you throw me aside like an old shoe? I know there is no one else, so for the love of God...WHY?
I want you to know that I will get past this and come out the other side. There will be sunshine after the rain for me but I would never have done this to you and I feel so very damaged over all I have been through these past 6 months.
Your wife.
Confession #2362
To be honest with you, I don't give a rat's ass about
Valentine's Day. I've been disappointed so many times
in the past that I just want to bypass that day.
That said, I'm baking brownies for my on and off
boyfriend and I got a card for him. And he better have
gotten me a card too at least. Yet I hate this
holiday. Go figure!
Confession #2363
Dear Sugar Butt,
I love when we have anal sex anytime my body can handle it. That is my favorite orgasm ever! But sometimes, I beg for it and force myself to deal with the pain. I do this when I am constipated and need a little "push"!
Like last night.... It sooooooooo took care of the problem and I thank you for it! I will never tell you that I do this!
Confession #2364
Dear Boyfriend,
You are the greatest gift in my life. You provide me with a sense of stability and composure when everything else is not going my way. You remind me that I'm loved. You deal with all my silly quirks. You know my family, and are still afraid of my dad. You have some habits that really annoy me, but honestly, I feel like I would be the more annoying of the two of us.
You and I have yet to have a fight. It been almost five years. It's my biggest fear that we will get into a big fight and get angry and end it all. I don't know what I would do. You are my very best friend. I love you so much.
I know that we are still young. I don't want to rush this time that we have before we are married, and I love that you are willing to talk to me about marriage without getting flighty. You are the perfect man.
I love you.
Your Girlfriend
Confession #2365
I had an affair with a man whom I knew was married but separated. My husband and I were separated also and as the affair and that part of my life grew I found myself so much in love with this man. I felt like I could of given everything up and would of done anything to protect him and his career. He had a son who's mother could of cared less for and I felt like I had a new family. It soon turned very sour because of the issues we both brought into the relationship. He had traumas from the war in Iraq and I wanted to save him make his life better because we were both working together. Our relationship got unhealthier as time went on and it soon came to an end. I was so hurt because I felt like I wasn't good enough because of the low self esteem I let him give me. After our relationship was over I started therapy and I started going to a psychiatrist and I felt a little better but nothing made me feel better than to turn him into his command for adultery and I'm hoping that he will get discharged dishonorably and hopefully he will lose everything including the shirt on his back because of the amount of debt he was already in before he met me. I think that my vengeance on him is the sweetest and I hope he rots in hell for how he made me feel, how much he used me and for every other girl he would rather have sex with other than me.
bitter sweet
Confession #2366
I know she broke your heart, and that part of you will never be the same, but the life we have together now is good. There was a time I was so afraid you'd never be able to see it, but I think we've turned that corner, and we seem to be looking toward the future.
My parents have been married 40 years, and my mom's only advice is "marry your best friend." Though I may never be willing to take that step again (and bless you, you seem to understand that and are ok about it), I think it applies equally to a partnership without the paperwork.
This is the best relationship I've been in, in my entire adult life. Maybe that sounds crazy, because I think we are both aware that we don't seem to have that "love of my life" thing going on, but you know what, if this is it, that's good with me. It really is the little things-- your insistence on driving me to the airport and picking me up, carrying the groceries for me, helping me wrangle the dogs. You compliment my cooking, even when it's bad, you tell me I'm pretty, and you thank me for taking care of you. You love my crazy family, and don't complain about how much time I spend with them, even through I know it must be hard for you to understand. You make me laugh. You help me work through my bullshit that I have leftover from my marriage, even though I know it hurts to heat sometimes. Right now you are sitting there trying to fix the damn tv, again, because you know I can't cope with electronics for the life of me.
Maybe we're not crazy passionate about each other, but we are friends first, and that means so much to me.
It's adorable how you are so excited about taking me home to meet your mom. I can't wait to have six days away with you, where we don't have any of the jobs, or the house, or any of the stressful day to day stuff to worry about.
Thank you for making me so happy, and showing me that it's not impossible to heal and start over. Someday I will find the words to tell you how much I love you.
Confession #2367
I tried to be a good wife.... but you really hurt me. In 2004 I started fucking him and now I can't stop. YOU deserve it!!!! You walk around as if you are the best has ever happened to me. Guess what??? you're not. We are still married because of the kids. His dick fills me up..... whenever you see me smile, it's because of him!!!!!!
Confession #2368
We have wonderful children but sometimes I miss what our relationship was like before having them. I miss us. We never do anything together anymore because a) we can't afford it, all our money goes to daycare and diapers and b) spending time together means we have to beg your parents to watch the kids and I hate groveling to your mother.
Confession #2369
I found your secret email account several months ago. Your girlfriend does look cute but guess what my dear. I have found someone too. Oh he doesn't make as much money as you but he is here when I need him which is most of the time. And when I got dressed up last Saturday, no it wasn't to go shooping with Denise. I went out with him. We went to the city and spent the day making love in our condo. I think we'll do it more often since he is such a great lover. Unlike you. And by the way thanks for watching the kids that day. Oh and Honey please do work a little harder so we can buy my new lover some more cute gifts.
Confession #2370
Honey, I love that once a week you help out by making breakfast. It is
very nice to have bacon and eggs on the weekend. But...(you knew there
was a but) For the love of God could you not take 90 minutes to cook the
bacon? And then have it be all rubbery? The eggs? Not so good when
you just crack them into the bacon grease and let them fry.
I do love you.
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24 comments:
#2361-- Hugs. That's devastating. Has he had any kind of physical or psych exam lately? Changes like that could be early onset alzheimer related.
#2362 -- Amen! My dh is always so sweet about V-day, and always does something special, but that doesn't erase the trauma of the barren 30 years before. It will always be Black Thursday (or Black whatever day) to me. I love you sweetie, and not just on Feb. 14!
2370
My husband cooks us bacon and eggs all the time, while his bacon is not rubbery, he does fry or scramble our eggs in bacon grease and we all think it is delicious.
90 minutes though? Good Lord thats a long time to wait for bacon to have it turn out all rubbery.
sugarbutt- how cute of a nickname is that? Love you TWC gals...
Wow! Peeshaw!
This round of confessions makes me uncomfortable. And sad.
2368-
Do you have friends with children that you could watch once a month for them and they in turn will watch yours? That's a win-win for both couples. All moms and dads need alone time.
Good luck.
2361: I am so sorry. I'm sending love your way. I agree with 12:53. Something medical must be going on here. I wish you peace.
Wow what pain you must be going through...I keep thinking so many people out there who profess to loving someone and then I read this which breaks my heart. Oh how I feel your pain. Of course your pain comes from a gutless man who can't leave without showing what a coward he really is by leaving when your gone.
Twenty seven years is a long time to be with the one you love I agree. But then I also feel you are better off. I heard the pain full words that I hate you with a passion before and yet it's been several years since they were spoken it still hurts my heart when I think Of them. I wish you the best in your journey to recovery. You did say that you will get over the pain and I know you will, with you saying it I wish I could hug you and tell you to hang in there things will get better.
2361 - Yes, you might want to check him for a brain tumor or something. With a hatchet.
I haven't logged on to TWC in a while, so I've been reading the last few months worth of posts. Sometimes this site cheers me up, but today it depressed me, which is my fault. I can pick pieces out of so many posts that are so similar to my life. I just wish someone could give me an answer - a straight-up, clear-cut direction, a solution. If I ask my husband, he says he loves me. And I really deeply love him, never think seriously about leaving him. But he is so emotionless towards me, so affectionless. And I've tried everything on my end to change things, and I mean EVERYTHING. I feel so alone and depressed. I want him to be the person he was for the first year we were married, even 10% of that person would be so great. I just want him to hug me and tell me he loves me once in a while, to have sex with me without me having to beg him for it, to seem even a little bit happy to be around me, to actually hear me when I am talking. I feel invisible, depressed, lonely, and extremely sad. What do you do in a situation like this? Seems like there are so many people who are in the same boat, isn't there an answer?
2365: You ruined his career for something you did willingly with him at the time. What could he ever, ever do to you that would be a similar amount of damage? And don't say "He broke my heart." Broken hearts mend. Careers do not.
If you wanted him to love you, you've pretty much shut down all possibility of that forever and ever.
2:39--
How long have you been married and how long has it been that he has distanced himself from you? Also, how old are you two? I'm sorry to ask these questions but I really don't feel like I have enough information to try to give you any kind of advice. And you seem very wounded and I think we would all like to try to help you a little.
For now, know that he loves you. He told you he does. Try to feel that and I hope you write again so that maybe we can give you some real advice.
Stay strong.
2363 - I've found that Activia Yoghurt or some prune juice can have the same effect :-)
I actually laughed out loud when I read your confession. I loved it (not enough to try it myself but I loved it all the same)
I agree with everything 5:22 said. I also feel terrible about this man's little boy. How is he to support his son now that you have maliciously deprived him of his income? My heart breaks for that poor child who may now have to live in poverty because of your revenge.
2363 -
a practical perspective toward a man wanting in the back door, and your morning constitutional? You just scored a 10 on the sexy scale....
This is 2:39. I'm 28, he's 42. We've been together 3 1/2 years. He's been acting like this off and on for the past two years.
2365, he is a vet with PTSD?
And you still did this?
Having loved a vet with PTSD, and having suffered through nights of broken china and drinking, I've been where you were. And like you, I crucified myself to try to help him, and like you guys, we were working together toward a common goal.
I finally left him because I could not be both his nurse and his lover. In the end, I didn't have the strength or the expertise for either.
PTSD is not a universal excuse for bad behavior, and I don't blame you for leaving. But where do you come up with the idea that destroying his life is better than getting on with your own?
To Dana, this is 2353. Thanks for the laugh. I usually don't have that issue, normally the opposite. And no yogurt helps. but I still had a lot of fun doing it!
2365; Let me see if I understand this correctly: YOU entered into an affair with a man you KNEW was married. Then when it ended, you turned him in to his CO because the TWO OF YOU had an affair?
Did your sudden attack of conscious about the affair not extend to trashing his career and harming his innocent child?
Sounds like you'd benefit from A LOT MORE therapy. And for heavens sake, leave the married men alone!
2362 here. Turns out he got me more than a card. He actually made me dinner and served it to me by candlelight. He still has a romantic bone left in him. Guess Valentine's Day isn't all that bad. And a small petty part of me was kinda happy that my ex spent the evening alone.
2:39, I'm in the same boat. I was even feeling guilty for being dissatisfied with my life. My marriage looks fine from the outside...and on the inside it's just an empty shell. My best friend finally clarified things for me when she said, "Where did you ever get the idea that YOUR needs weren't important?"
I'm trying to figure out how to tell him, if I can't be first, then I'm out. And the saddest thing for me is, he will be totally shocked that I'm not happy. I just can't get through to him.
I posted confession #2365. To answer most comments I have to say that after he and I broke up I did some digging the person whom I thought was genuine was actually running a con. I wasn't the only woman he used his son and his PTSD to make feel sorry for him. He lied about why or how his wife left him. I was a toy to him while he had me convinced he was wonderful but once I found out who he was and how ugly he was inside I felt like I had unmasked the monster he really was. He played so many head games made me feel like I was a failure even though I was going to college and trying to better myself. I felt like everything with him was one sided he was extremely selfish and I feel like a fool for taking this kind of abuse for so long. I loved his son but I also loved the baby that because of the stress he put me thru I lost. When I told him I was pregnant he was at another woman's home out of town. The only conversation he wanted to have was about abortion. How he could not afford child support on a child. He only wanted to be friends with me to make sure that I had the abortion that he was too broke to pay for. Once I had my miscarriage I no longer existed and there was evidence of him being in town celebrating his new found freedom. My loss his gain I guess. Yes he broke my heart and my spirit and if money is all he cares about then money is what I will take from him. I'm so sorry for his son but his father sacrificed my baby for his money. So I did the same.
2365, you said "his father sacrificed my baby for his money. So I did the same."
I thought mothers were supposed to protect their babies even if the fathers attacked them. Not join in the attack.
Note: I am not trying to turn this into an abortion debate. I'm pro-choice. I'm using her words, not my own: he sacrified her baby, so she did the same.
"I'm so sorry for his son but his father sacrificed my baby for his money. So I did the same."
You need help! Yes what he did was wrong. And your baby was very much a baby that deserved love BUT the child you are talking about it here in real life he will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Your baby is not so how does it make since for you to do what you did? Please go get some consoling!
P.S. Your the one that went to the clinic! There is a time when you are alone and they ask you are you sure you want to do this. I know it hurts but take the responsibility for what YOU did.
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