Wednesday, May 02, 2007

True Wife Confessions 180 Antipodal point

Confession #1791

Dear Boyfriend,
Here's the REAL reason I won't sleep with you anymore.
I work out every day. I diet constantly. I am thin. I am beautiful. I practically kill myself to meet an impossible standard of beauty.
And what do you do?
You drink every night at your stupid bar tending job. You come home wasted. You play asinine role playing games and watch porn 'till six in the morning. Your lazy, fat ass gained 40 pounds!
I realize you're tired all the time. But for goodness sake - I bust my ass to stay beautiful and attractive. Maybe you could meet me half-way? I am officially "out of your league", dear.
I don't want want to fuck you anymore, you fat ass. But I assure, I'll have no problem finding beautiful men who do want to fuck me, hell, who want to worship me.
Get your act together.


Confession #1792

i ended a friendship for the wrong reasons. i spoke up about your
pregnancy knowing it would end our friendship- i still think you
brought a child into this world for the worst reasons possible. he
was married (separated, but still married) and had many other
children left in his wake. you were not the first, and you haven't
been the last. he is a scumbag and you have the most unhealthy
relationship history in the world. i spoke up for selfish reasons- i
didn't want you or anyone else to think i thought it was ok. it's
not ok- i am scared for your future, and now your children's. people
talk about him and his "fondness" for young girls. he is much older,
and has never managed to stay in a relationship. i wish i had used
more tact when i spoke with you, but i know i was right about him- i
hope you have a friend like i would have been. you will need them
when it falls apart.

Confession #1793

When you talk about "when we get married," and I know you're never going to ask, that hurts. Please, if you're not going to follow through, don't say anything at all. And then to act like a child and stop talking to me? That's just stupid. Shape up or ship out--I don't need your crap anymore. You make me feel like an idiot for loving you.

Confession #1794

Dear Husband,

You are an amazing man. I wish you could see yourself as I see you.

What I wish even more is that I was deserving of you. I wish I was a better wife. I wish I wasn't so critical. I wish I wasn't such a loner. I wish I could do more for you. I wish with all my heart that I could be a better wife.

I'm working on it.

Things aren't good right now. Things are hard and stressful. But it's amazing because I love more than I ever have.

Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for letting me watch you become the man I know you will be.Thank you for giving me the space and the room to become the woman I want to be. I love you. I love you so very much.

Love,
Your Wife

Confession #1795

I admit that I have confessed a few things on this site. My boyfriend has even recognized a confession or two. But I think that has harmed our relationship. I am trying so hard to be better at telling him what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. It isn't fair that I expect him to read my mind. And women, sometimes it may seem like guys SHOULD know why we're angry. I mean, when they do things that are so obviously stupid, then why shouldn't we be angry? But I think men are just a lot more obtuse than we give thhem credit for. We have different personalities and they just aren't bothered by the same things that they are. If they do something that upsets us and they never change, whose fault is it if we never even tell them that it bothers us? So I am going to promise, from here on out, not to publish a confession on this site. I think it's great for some people. Some women do need to vent and it seems like some women are with men who have no respect for them. But my boyfriend is not like that. He's not perfect, by any means, but he loves me. I know that without a doubt. From now on, I'm going to work on communicating with my boyfriend and telling him what I love about him and tell him what annoys me. I love him and I don't want our relationship to be one in which I can't talk to him.

I love you so much sweetness.

Confession #1796

It started six years ago. At first you blamed your impotence on me for not being a good enough wife and business partner. My lack of ability to do things the way you wanted me to was proof that I didn't love you enough. You wouldn't talk to the doctor about your impotence, you wouldn't even talk to me about it. Our relationship frayed, I was sad and lonely but I loved you and didn't want to leave you or the business we built together.

I admit that I was the one who had the affair. I wasn't looking to leave you or to hurt you, I just needed someone to make love to me. It had been close to three years since you were able to do so. I only saw him a few times over the course of a year, I made sure it was someone you didn't know and I went far out of town. It made me feel better. You found out and I ended it immediately. I know it hurt you terribly but I thought we were both trying to move on. You got an appointment with a urologist. You tried the pills. When they didn't work very well it was my fault again because every time we tried to make love you claimed you got a picture in your head of me with another man. Still, you claimed you wanted to try to please me and you can. But I couldn't do the same for you. You started pushing me away when I even tried. Then you told me I had to ask for it when I wanted you to make me come. I already feel guilty for taking pleasure and giving nothing in return, now I have to ask for it??

You have diabetes. It is a major cause of impotence in men over 40. It's not my fault. I don't deserve this. You refuse to try any of the other available treatments. You don't seem very interested in exploring the world of sex toys.

Lately I've noticed I don't want sex very much anymore. I don't get horny the way I used to. I still love you and want to be close to you, but my sex drive is dying. I'm 43 years old. Sex has been a big part of my adult life. I'm physically healthy and there's no reason I shouldn't want sex except that it's not fun anymore. Today, at my annual check-up, the doctor asked me about my sex life. I almost burst into tears. Do I end 15 years of marriage over this? I know our relationship is difficult at times, but I still love you and I don't know what to do.

Confession #1797

I know I am such a bad person for feeling this way, but there is a
mentally handicapped man that works at our grocery store (actually,
there are several), but this one in particular gives me the big ol'
heebee geebees. I steer clear of him as much as I can, especially
when my babies are with me. He engages everyone with awkward
greetings, he sneaks up on mothers loading kids into cars, and he
constantly invades personal space, and doesn't seem to understand
he's there to work, not chat up everyone he sees. I think it's
wonderful that my grocery store has hired him giving him an
opportunity to earn money and be independent, but he has to learn
simple boundaries. I see other people fleeing in the opposite
direction from him all the time.

Confession #1798

To the man I almost married:

I loved you. I still, after everything that happened, love you. I know you bought a ring, I know you wanted to take care of me, I know that if I called you right now you would come back on your hands and knees, apologizing for what you did, declaring that you've forgiven what I did.

After reading this website, I can't tell you how glad I am that I didn't marry you. I wouldn't have been one of the wives confessing how much I love you, I would have been one of the ones filled with anger and disgust. You would have grown distant and cold; I would have felt trapped; we would have fought for hours on end. We would have been miserable. *I* would have been miserable. Even though I love you.

You're not my soul mate. I deserve someone who understands--or at least attempts to understand--the things I'm passionate about. I deserve someone who doesn't bounce between thinking I'm a perfect goddess, and thinking I'm the devil incarnate; I am neither of those things. I deserve someone who makes me tingle every time he touches me, not someone who makes me feel like a performing monkey in bed. There is a good man buried underneath all that emotional baggage, but you treated me like shit, and I deserve better than you. My daughter deserves a better father than the one you would have been.

I am going to wait until I find the man I can call my soul mate. And if he doesn't show up, then so be it. I would rather be a single mom for the rest of my life than be trapped in a trainwreck of a marriage with a man I cannot respect. I can take care of myself and my baby girl. I will survive without you. And I hope that someday, you'll learn to survive without me.

I love you. But sometimes love isn't enough.

Confession #1799

I am so angry with your parents right now. We have two little kids and you have a job with an impossible schedule. Yet they feel it is ok to dramatically increase their traveling/vacationing and leave us responsible for their very frail and elderly parents. Next on their list is buying a vacation home in another state. They did not ask how we felt about this responsibility, just kept making their plans. You are near the point of being disciplined at your job for your own illness-related absences, and ended up missing work again due to a grandparent's illness while they were gone. I love your grandparents, but we already have plenty to deal with in our own home. And asking you to stop in and care for their dog at 5 a.m. on your way to a 12-hour shift isn't too cool in my book either. They must be in complete denial not to see how much help their folks are going to need soon, and that we are struggling to manage our own life. I wish you'd speak your mind with your parents for a change.

Confession #1800

I love it when you send me an email that simply says, "hi and HUGS and smiles". I love it when you tell me that I make you smile or that you making me smile is always a good thing. I love it when you tell me that I am doing fine, that we are doing fine and you are not running away, that there's no reason to run away. You are the best. I tell you that over and over again and I know that makes you smile.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

1796: sounds to me like you guys need some couples therapy or something. If you guys are otherwise happy and all in love and stuff, why ruin a marriage over sex? See if he'll go. It might help work some things out.

Anonymous said...

#1797
Sounds like the grocery store employee has maybe a high functioning form of autism called Asperger's syndrome. Not understanding social graces and being incapable of judging personal space is a big part of it. I have a similiar situation here and similiarly try and avoid that person. Maybe you could have a NICE chat with his manager so he can review do's/don'ts with the employee?

Anonymous said...

#1798, your post gave me chills down my spine. kudos for being so strong.

Anonymous said...

#1793: Why are you still with this guy if you know that you want to get married and you're sure he'll never want to? I know that it sucks, but the advantage of these types of relationships is that you can break them off forever without having to involve any third parties and then look for someone who can actually make you happy.

Anonymous said...

1791: Geez, with that charming attitude, the poor guy's dick probably crawls up into his abdomen every time you come hissing and shrieking at him anyway.

Anonymous said...

1791: it's a good thing you are so gorgeous, because your attitude definitely isn't.

Anonymous said...

Forget everyone thats bad talking 1791. If that is an accurate account of whats going on, then you have every right to be upset. I bet if the roles were reversed these women would be shrieking and pulling their hair out about double standards and how men can be so horrible. No matter what they say, physical attraction is a large part of relationships...It's not fair or healthy if one person is trying and the other just sits around on the computer getting drunk. It's disgusting...and if thats not a problem, then no wonder this country is so fat.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 3:07. Your personality will certianly never win anyone over. You better keep working so hard to look good. It seems to be all you have going for you.

Anonymous said...

1791: gee, with that attitude, I can't figure out why he doesn't want to sleep with you any more.

Anonymous said...

1701: maybe it's your attitude that's driven him to gain 40 pounds, watch porn where women don't judge him, and escape into the world of fantasy games... do yourself a favor and take a good hard look in the mirror. sounds to me like he's done nothing but try to enjoy his life with you doing nothing but thinking about your own selfish wants.

Anonymous said...

#1793, I feel for you.

Anonymous said...

4:21: I bet if the roles were reversed these women would be shrieking and pulling their hair out about double standards and how men can be so horrible.

Only if they were that obnoxious and narcissistic about it as Princess 1791. In which case they'd deserve it just as much as she does.

Anonymous said...

to #1791

Have you ever thought that he might lose the weight if you had sexercise???

Anonymous said...

#1796 could've been written by me. Our sex life has been non-existant for the last 3.5 yrs. I can't remember the last time we made love, I can't remember the last time her took me in his arms and gave me passionate kiss. It's just quick hugs and pecks now. I've tried, believe me I've tried. I've made "dates" with him, to only be disappointed because he has "work" to do on the computer. When in fact I walk in after being in bed waiting for him and he's playing games. He refuses to talk about it and manages to change the subject whenever it's broached. What do I do? I love sex. He no longer does. Or is it me, he no longer finds attractive. That on top of everything else, ie major financial problems, I've lost alot orespect for my spouse. I'm ready to leave him. But is it worth losing a 10 yr marriage for? I don't know. I really don't know.

Desiree said...

Wow... I'm a new reader and will be back!

Anonymous said...

1791, it looks like you reached your limit. Dump him already, especially since you don't even care for him enough to pretend to have a positive attitude towards him (hey honey, let's go jogging together...etc).

If you already tried encouragement and even questioning him about possible sources of depression (40 lbs probably means some sort of depression) and you get nothing out of him, then he's not going to change until you leave him anyway.

Anonymous said...

#1792

I believe your life would be better off without your illogical friend. As a good friend, just speaking about your silly friend's decision should not be a reason to end a friendship, especially if you are trying to offer advice to help her out. She does not appreciate you but prefers to apprciate her swine of a lover. She just doesn't know what quality is. Whatever her stress levels, she should have been on the phone soon after with at least a peace treaty, if she valued you.

Anonymous said...

1798: I got more than chills, I burst out crying. That's where I am, minus the child, and I don't know what to do.

Anonymous said...

1796: I wish I knew what to say to you. I am 46 and going through the same thing except my partner is much older. I wish I had words of wisdom for you. It's so tough when he won't talk about the problem or even admit there is a problem. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I don't think any woman should go through what you and I are going through. The best I can say to you is to do what you need to do for yourself (don't deny your need to feel wanted and have a sex life), don't hurt your husband or make a fool out of him and find other ways to love him. Life is certainly not easy sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Women who are criticizing 1791: maybe if you all weren't so fat your husbands would want to sleep with you again.

Anonymous said...

Regarding 1791: Come on, people...it's a rant site. She's probably just frustrated. It's hard to live up to today's standards of beauty. Have you ever read any gossip sites? Size 6 women are considered fat in Hollywood! Now imagine the resentment when your partner wants you to be gorgeous but lets him/herself go. That's annoying.

Anonymous said...

There's a difference between ranting and displaying vicious, warped conceit, which all the primping and self-worship in the world cannot fix. No wonder the poor guy's hiding.

Anonymous said...

Women who are criticizing 1791: maybe if you all weren't so fat your husbands would want to sleep with you again.]

*eyeroll* I love this self-defence mechanism.

a) I am medically obese yes, but I'm also quite fit. How? Never you mind. My doc isn't worried so neither am I
b) I have extremely frequent sex. As in, at least three times a week. Have you had sex in the past year, or is it just frustration that makes you hit out with broadsides like that?