I miss you. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish you’d take me back. I wish I could go back and change things. I wish you would have told me how you were feeling, instead of telling me what you thought I wanted to hear. I could have fixed it. I could have changed it all and we’d still be together.
I never thought the day would come when you didn’t love me anymore. The one thing I could always put my faith and trust in was your love for me. I even believed that you loved me more than I loved you. So now when I see you treat me with such coldness, I don’t think I can ever believe in love again.
I feel ruined as a person. Unworthy, unlovable, unmarriable. I made plans with you, big plans, cars, houses, jobs, vacations, kids, and every lazy day in between in your arms. Now I can only plan to make it through the entire day without driving head-on into oncoming traffic. The day I lost you was the beginning of the rest of my life spent alone.
you cannot blame our house being a disaster (when i returned home from having an emergency c-sec w/ twins) on our 5 yr old. dickhead
I do not see the need to change the sheets after we have sex. Every time. I mean, I could see if we were having long sessions of sweaty sex, but come on! Every time. Never fail. You hop up, and start stripping the bed. Sweetie, I change the sheets once or twice a week anyways, so I can't see how they are so foul that they need to be changed. It's weird.
The last few weeks you have been an ass. More so than usual. I
couldn't figure out what the hell your problem was, especially with
everything we are going through. I thought you were worried about
having to be the active parent while I am on bed rest. But then today
at teh Docors I saw you actually let out a breath when we were told
we had made teh right decsion and that everything is going to be ok
now. It hit me, you have been worried about ME. Not about what I
could or couldn't do but about me. You have been amazing through this
and I can't thank you enough honey. I love you. I always have but I
realize now that it goes both ways. I actually matter to you. I've
known that you love me but I never realized how much. I am so very
sorry that I didn't see it before. I can't begin to list everything I
am thankful for. I LOVE YOU.
I dropped you off at the airport early monday morning. Today is wednesday. I noticed something very interesting, nothing changes when you are gone. I still take care of everything, including our daughter, dinner, mornings, chores, laundry, friends stopping by. I think the only way I know you are truly gone is I'm sleeping better than I have since we got married.
No tossing and turning at all.
And no fighting.
I think I'm ready for that divorce now.
Your wife for now,
Honey, I do love you. I'm sorry for the pills. I know I've told you that before. You have given me everything I've ever wanted.
I just don't know what my wants are right now. Thank you for trying AGAIN.
You are not innocent in all this either. I've forgiven you, but I'm having a hard time forgetting. I will NEVER have another close female friend again. It's so hard to trust and so easy to escape.
I don't know what the right thing to do is.....Help.
I am only nice to your dad because I love you. He's an asshole. He treats your mom like shit and he's a control freak. What kind of man keeps driving on a road trip, after you mother has declared that she needs to go to the bathroom and waits until the poor woman is in tears of pain before he actually pulls over? An asshole that's who. Who checks the electricty wattage everyday to make sure no additional electricity is being used? An asshole, that's who. Who constantly treats his wife like she's a flippin' moron? An asshole, that's who. Who is such a control freak he didn't want your mom to work while you were a child and now threatens to take away her $20 per week "allowance" anytime she does something that pisses him off? An asshole, that's who. Who tells his wife that her bags will be on the front lawn when she has two children under 5 because she stood up for herself? An asshole, that's who.
Your dad is an asshole, I don't care if he's a devout Catholic, I don't care if he's sorry afterward, you father is a colossal asshole and I think he's a disgusting human being.
You never say you love me. I know you do, but you never actually say it.
And because you don't say it, I'm afraid to say it; to say it, and not
have you say anything in return. We've been together for almost 2 years
now, and we're still afraid to say those 3 little words.
We've both been hurt. I know thats why we don't say it. Saying those
words makes things more real, more serious, and leaves us open to more
hurt. I understand all that. I do. I'm not judging you. I'm scared
But what you don't know is that when I'm taking those 2 hour long bubble
baths with the door locked, I'm really sitting there, crying.
Because I want so desperately to be told that I'm loved.
And to be able to tell you that you are too.
Sweetie - I know that you want to try and run a marathon. It is an admirable achievement - but the orthopedic running shoes? You look like an elderly Frankenstein hobbling down the street.
You don't turn me on anymore. I'm tired of using a vibe.