Tuesday, March 27, 2007

True Wife Confessions 170 drops of sap in a bucket

Confession #1691

I wait until I hear the door close indicating that you've left the house
before I get out of bed. I pretend I'm sleeping, I've even been late to
work because of it on occasion. I just can't deal with someone -anyone- in
the morning, especially cause you're such a morning person and so
cheery--argh! Believe me, it's better for both of us if I just pretend I'm
asleep until you go to work.

Confession #1692

I will not pick up your dirty clothes off the floor anymore. Only the
clothes that are in the hamper will be washed. Even your 4 year old puts
his clothes in the laundry basket, I know you can too. And the first time
you run out of underwear I will calmly tell you to pick up a dirty pair off
the floor to wear and put the rest in the HAMPER.
Your loving wife

Confession #1693

If you are dead tomorrow morning .. it will have been me that did it.

You have pushed me and pushed me and I cannot take it any more!

It is either you or me ... I'm worth more than that!

Confession #1694

I gave in and tried the anal sex. You were gentle, took your time - lots of lube and prep. There was no slamming away, no heavy thrusts.

And I liked it. I actually liked it. I am not sore and bloody. I am not cursing you for getting me to try this. It was hot and I am glad we did it. Did you see my smile as you kissed my shoulder and and whispered "That was delicious"?

Confession #1695

he shuffled from the couch today all the way to the TV to change the channel....South Park again for another hour. I know he won't be channel surfing this afternoon..he lost the remote again...and probably his keys for the 5th time this week. God I could scream so loud his ear drums would bust. Another witty anecdote Hun?yes that's right keep on shoveling that stuff out to me....6 more months and your outta here fella...love has hit the skids.

Confession #1696

I used to be like most of you. My self-centered jerk of a husband took advantage of me, ignored me, and didn’t give me the love I deserved. The counseling sessions didn’t change anything, no matter how much I begged him to give me what I needed. I was so insecure and scared to leave, so I stayed with him.

Since I knew I wasn’t going to get what I needed at home, I started looking for love and attention in all the wrong places, and I became a cheater. No, I never went all the way if any other man, but I was a cheater all the same. I was so guilt ridden, but on the flip side it felt so good being in the arms of someone who really wanted me. For the first time in years I felt empowered - another man desired me and wanted to take me away – and I was in the position to call all the shots.

I finally got the courage to leave him. It took me two years, but I did it. And it was the best thing I have ever done.

Two years after I moved out, I am officially the luckiest woman in the world. I have found what I have always been looking for. I’m his “perfect ten” and he’s my “forever baby”. He loves me unconditionally, and he loves my daughters. He’s everything I have ever wanted in a man.

Sometimes I wish I never told him about my past. I was the cheater. This fact about me is probably the biggest root of our problems when they arise. “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, right?

Wrong. When you are with the person of your dreams, cheating is not an option. You won’t put yourself in those precarious positions, and you won’t go looking elsewhere for whatever it is you’re missing at home. It’s something I’ve learned based on living in the midst of an unfulfilled marriage and comparing that with a nearly perfect relationship.

Even if you feel like you’re justified in doing so, don’t be a cheater. Do yourselves a favor, ladies - go find your perfect ten, your forever. No matter how hard you think it will be. And if you think you’ve found it but you’re not getting what you need, TALK to him about it!

Confession #1697

It was me who called the cops and told them that you
were driving drunk again. Even though it has been a
pain to have to drive you around, and it costs a lot
of money for you to try and get your license back, I
really don't care.


You promised that you would never drink if you had to
get the kids, and there you were. . .drunk. After we
fought, and you left to buy more liquor, I called the
police and turned you in. I do not regret it one bit.

Confession #1698

I knew I cared for you but I didn't think I loved you. I must though, because last night when you told me you were there with a date my heart broke. I suspected you were seeing someone, but i thought what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. I know I have no room to say anything because I am married. I thought you were my knight in shining armor to save me from my life. I guess I was wrong. I should have seen it coming.

Confession #1699

When you emailed me after seven months, what did you expect? I am still in love with you. It wasn't kind. Just Don't.

Confession #1700

Here is my post. Feel my pain and desperation? Yeah, it sucks to be me. Sorry this is so long, I have just waited so long to say it, I didn’t want to miss anything,

I fucking hate you more than mere words can express. I lay awake and night thinking how I ended up here. You fart and laugh like an 8 year old boy, you pick your nose and “fling” it’s contents onto the floor where our daughter sometimes lies and sleeps. Your breath smells like death, your personal hygine is serious lacking, and you generally make me sick to my stomach. I fucking hate your guts, so no, I don’t want to suck your dick or have you fuck me. Which, by the way, as long as I’m telling the truth, you suck at! All that grunting, thrusting and that horrible face you make couldn’t possibly turn me off more. You suck in bed. And, while I’m at it I might as well tell you that you suck and a friend, husband and father. You are a self centered piece of shit. You think you care, but you don’t have the first clue what it REALLY means to care for another person, to put that person before yourself. It is like living with an addict. One minute you are nice and all lovey to me and the next you are freezing me out and telling me to shut up and deal with it. I am not your mother, stop treating me like her. The question I keep asking myself is, why I stay with you when I hate just about EVERYTHING about you. Is it because I have no self-esteem and can’t imagine that anyone could love me, want me, be nice to me, treat me well, really care about me and what I think; or is it because I am too afraid to go out there and try to make it on my own. I will stay with you because I am trapped. Either for real, or or my own making; it’s just that some days I think I would rather die than look at you, hear your voice or put up with you. Would it surprise you if I told you that I would kill you and live well off the insurance money if I thought for one second that I could actually get away with it? Yeah, well I would!


~Sassy said...

1700 - sometimes when he rides off on that motorcycle after being so cruel to me - wish something would happen and he wouldn't come back.

Then I would use the insurance money to move and start over.

Anonymous said...

I have been there also! ^ & 1700
Leave him. It's not healthy to wish these horrible acts on someone you're supposed to love. LEAVE..

Anonymous said...

1691 – I used to do that with my ex-fiancĂ©. He was so annoying. And he wasn’t a morning person. I begged him to NOT ask me questions when I wake up. Just leave me alone.

1692 – I used to kick the ex’s clothes under whatever piece of furniture he left it lying next to – the couch, the bed. I just didn’t wanna see it.

1694 – Props to you for trying. Turns out you liked it, even better.

1697 – You probably saved a life. Maybe not that day, but eventually.

1700 – He’s going to continue to drive you crazy until you are completely broken. You should start planning your “escape” now. I could not imagine doing that forever.

Anonymous said...

#1694 - Your confession made me smile. Big hugs to you being willing to try it and discovering that you liked it and it's hot and you can admit that. Bigger hugs to your partner for doing it the right way and being so gentle. Anal sex is wonderful when the man knows what he's doing.

#1696 - You too brought a smile to my face. Men are such amazing, wonderful creatures that I don't understand why women tolerate the ones who are mean and nasty to them. I too have found a man who makes me smile and tells me I deserve all the attention and kindness he can give me. It is my wish that all women get to experience what you and I have found at some time in their lives.

#1700 - You deserve better. You are worthy and beautiful in your own right. You don't need a man to feel like you count. Get out now. If you can't get out, find someone to talk to, go for counseling and start making plans to get out. Life is too short for you to live your life hating yourself and the person you live with. You deserve all the love you can get but you have to love yourself first.

Anonymous said...

1694-I like it too, and sometimes hearing that another woman likes is too makes me feel like it's ok, I'm not a dirty freak! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

1693 - Don't do it....just don't. Get out, fast...find someone anyone that will help you. I've been there....

Anonymous said...

1697- From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU! You are a wonderful person. I'm sure he will realize what he has done with some AA and thank you as well. I happy to know good people are still in the world.

Anonymous said...

1697 - Thank you. I wish more people would do what you did.

Anonymous said...

#1697 - thank you from me too. A dear friend was knocked down by a drunk driver, he suffered brain damage and 13 years later is still paying the price for that assholes laissez faire attitude.

I think I'll do the same to a couple of people I know, you've given me the courage, thank you.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. My God, I coul dbe writing these confessions.

Anonymous said...

#1697 - GOOD FOR YOU. If only more people had the courage!

#1698 - save YOURSELF. There is such a thing as love, and beauty, and fulfillment, but there are NO knights in shining armour. Just yourself.

#1700 - that's a lot of hate. But good for you for recognizing some of the reasons you stay. NOW I wish you the courage to get out. Good luck to you :)