Monday, March 05, 2007

True Wife Confessions 164 ways to run out of ideas

Confession #1631
Dear husband,

Why did you have to mess it up? We agreed New Year’s Eve to be nicer to each other; we made it 50 days…

We were only playing a computer game and I made a mistake and we didn’t complete the objective.. But it’s only a game – it’s supposed to be a challenge and I’m supposed to learn from mistakes. I play so I can do something with you.

I’m not sure why you think its okay to yell at me and talk to me like you would never talk to any other person in the world. Saying “Fuck You” (when I defend myself over your ignorant comments) to me, your wife is the single most horrible thing you could say to me ever, yet you keep saying it knowing how much it hurts me.

I wish you weren’t so verbally abusive because I really do love you but I love me more and I’m not going to continue to stand for this behavior. I stood up to you last night and you tried to blame it all on me, but you are wrong and I told you so. No matter how angry and pissed off you get you will not talk to me like that again.

When I watched you slam your fist down on your desk and I saw the bruising and broken skin around your wrist, all I could think was “serves you right”, yet I immediately had the urge to look at it and get ice – but I refrained.

When I told you last night that I will not be talked to like that, especially by my HUSBAND – I meant it.

Your 3 hour later “I’m sorry if you think I over reacted” comment is a crap apology and you know it.

I’m making the plans I need to in order to get out if you don’t get help.

You have 3 months.


Confession #1632

Baby – I don’t know what I did to deserve such a sweetheart as you – but I do love you. I love the way you kiss me, the way you make love to me, the way you go down on me for hours at a time- the way you get off when I fuck your face b/c you know how much I love your perfect heart shaped lips. I love the way I taught you everything you know sexually and you think I am the best thing for it. You spoil me, with flowers and presents, ecards and compliments. You do whatever I say – whenever I say it. You love my children like they were your own. We are 2 years deep now and I can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you when you are gone. I think I really do love you too – like you love me.

But I am married. And you are almost 20 years younger than me. Do you really think it would work?

Confession #1633

This summer when you left me I lost it. Not only did
you leave me but for someone younger like 18 immature
young. We built a family and you strained it. I still
had sex with you the whole time and we conceived a
beautiful baby girl, which dont get me wrong i am
happy about. You see I love you i mean REALLY love you
or i wouldn't have stayed with you even though i knew
you were living with her, and got her pregnant... even
after you lost our rent money gambling. How fucking
selfish you are. But..... ever since i had our new
little girl you have been treating me really well. You
and i can talk things out now not get angry and storm
out. You got a second job so i didn't have to go back
to work. I love you for understanding i love to be
with my daughters. I don't bitch at you anymore i can
just do it myself...... see you taught me that when
you left. Now that were back together and you are the
man i married. The sex is better, we get along, and we
are financially well off. Damn we've come a long way,
but i am happy i stuck by you.

Confession #1634

You wanted my silence
my tacit complicity
You thought you could woo me with presents
and scattered bits of poetry.

You thought I'd forget
You thought I'd forgive
You thought I'd keep on trying,
let you dictate how we'd live.

You were wrong.

You thought I'd tuck
your dirty laundry in a drawer
Your secrets safe to keep
but I won't be silent anymore.

no more inky bruises
from your fingers on my arm
no more self blame
when you do me harm.

no more cowering at your feet
and no, I'm not your whore
no more bloody streaks inside my thighs
no more broken bottles on the floor

no more begging you to stay
no more responsibility for your rage
no more hands around my neck
no more hoping that you'll change

no more silence
no more shame
no more if only i'd
no more blame
no more secrets
no more lies
no more excuses
no more tries.

You were my lover
you aren't my friend
I could have loved you forever
but this is the end.

Confession #1635

Dear Husband,



I never thought infidelity would be an issue in our marriage. I feel so strongly against it (both parents were terrible adulterers) and I really thought you loved me completely. When I found out about the other woman last year, it brought that foundation to just so much rubble. Now that I’ve lost all that weight, and I’m fine as I need to be (people tell me I look just like I did at 16) and work with a bunch of successful, good-looking, financially secure men, I want to exact my revenge on you in the biggest way. But god I’m such a chicken. One of the guys confessed to me the other day that he and his wife are separated. And that he’d like to have lunch with me. Yikes. I REALLY want to take him up on it but I’m scared to death. It would devastate me if you did something like that. When we were making love Friday night I was thinking about my conversations and emails with the soon-to-be-Mr. Ex-, I felt so guilty for even entertaining the conversation. But I got over it and fantasized about him all weekend. I don’t think I’ll ever cheat—I’m just not wired that way---but boy do I think about it. It hasn’t been that long since you broke my heart---OK so you say you didn’t sleep with her, doesn’t matter, you told her you love her, you should have slept with her because it doesn’t make any difference---and I feel like less of a person for not retaliating. You’re so lucky that we have a daughter and an outrageous mortgage. I’d have left you in the dust, even though with the exception of your compulsive lying, you are a fantastic husband. You’re THE greatest father I ever could have wished for our daughter. You work so much, and always give me every penny you make. Ugh, why did you have to bring this into our marriage? I think that is the part I can’t forgive. Bringing that woman into our marriage and destroying the trust I had worked so hard to have in you.

Signed,

Still your wife

Confession #1636

husband,
I miss you. I hate being home alone all night. I want you to go back to
first shift at the plant. And I feel selfish for that because I know you
prefer your 2nd shift job to what you were doing on 1st shift. But I'm tired
of being a single parent every night and only seeing you on Saturdays and
Sundays. It makes me sad and bitter and angry but whenever I try to tell you
that you shrug me off which hurts so much. I don't know how much longer I
can do this. For us, please consider taking a 1st shift job...and come back
to me.

Confession #1637

I.am.so.done.with.you.

I will never tell you any of this, because you are not worth me wasting my breath. I let you come out here to visit the kids & I because I thought it would give you some sense of responsibility. Maybe after you visited you would start paying your child support. The first visit was great, kids loved it, I loved the great sex-with-my-ex. The second visit was just so I could snoop through your wallet & phone to find out who your employer, girlfriend, and other "buddies" are. I got everything I needed from you on this trip, so when you started verbally abusing me in front of the children, I'm glad you left when you did. I had my finger on the "send" button after dialing 9-1-1.

I am free of you.

You have no rights to MY children, legally or otherwise. They are young enough to forget you once I find an honest, caring, and loving man to be their father.

Only great things are in store for me & MY children from this point on. You will always be the sorry-loser-sperm donor. I hope the next girl you con into buying you things & ruining her credit sees you for what you really are sooner than I did. I hope you rot in jail for failing to pay child support. I made a mistake thinking you could change, but now I know you will never amount to anything. I do learn from my mistakes.

Confession #1638

Guess what, asshole? My counselor says you sound like a real jerk.
How do you like them apples?


Confession #1639

I've been reading this for awhile now, and I can relate so well to what all of you say. I've been there… with the alcoholic who wouldn't get help, wouldn't change, swore he didn't have a problem. I almost married him, so glad now that I didn't… because nothing would've changed that. I was also with the man who wanted a Barbie, wanted the girl who he had when it was convenient to him and didn't care enough to be there when I needed him. But let me tell all of you something, true love does exist… you just have to be patient. I read these confessions of women saying love is all lies, and a joke and I feel sad for you, I really do. Love is amazing and perfect, it's who you give your love to. Let me tell you that you will meet that person who is perfect for you, and while you'll have your problems like any relationship they will love you for all of you… you just have to wait for it.

Confession #1640

My original confession is #1600. Here is the latest on my situation. I'm afraid it has become much more complicated since my first post. I found out that I am pregnant, yes pregnant. Not with the man I've been with for 9 years of my life, but with the guy he wanted me to meet for sexual pleasure only. Three months of seeing the 'other' man and I'm knocked up. What the hell am I going to do?

You know dear husband (common law), and you are willing to accept this pregnancy and baby as our very own. You are willing to move forward and continue on with our life together. The 'other' man ofcourse wants me to abort...and truth be told I'm actually considering it. I don't exactly believe in abortion, but I am pro-choice and right now I'm feeling like it may be my only option.

I wish I could forget about the other guy, I wish I didn't feel as though he has a spell put on me, like I'm constantly drawn to him, like he's a drug I need to get my fix of. I just want things to be like they used to be with my husband. I want to miss him when he's away at work for two weeks, I want to be excited when he comes home, I want to want him the way he wants me.

I told you the other night in a text message when I was going through rough times telling the 'other' guy I was pregnant...and you were nothing but sweet and supportive...I told you that I do not deserve someone who cares so much about me in my life...and maybe thats true. For all I've done to you, you still want nothing but for me to be happy. I wish I had a "How to live life" For Dummies book.

I'm lost, I'm scared, I'm pregnant and I feel all alone. I wish I could close my eyes, fall asleep and wake up and realize this was nothing but a dream.

Hmm...still awake and reality is still slapping me in the face.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

1640:

I don't believe you have your life or relationships in order. I don't believe you would be the Mom you should be now, though you may mature enough in the future to have kids later. Why weren't you on birth control? Why didn't you use a condom? Why did you let this happen?

Adoption is always an option. There are tons of childless couples in the world that would love to adopt a baby.

Anonymous said...

1640:

i agree with 1:18. why did you not protect yourself? i'm still shocked you went through with having that relationship in the first place just to please your husband. and this other oh-so-great guy wants you to abort? huh? how great can he be?

Anonymous said...

1638# Felt good to hear that, didn't it? I will never forget the day that I described, to our marriage counselor, something my then husband had done, and the counselor's jaw dropped and he said "That is the most unreasonable thing I have ever heard!" Validation is a wonderful thing.

Anonymous said...

hey 1640 sounds like youre in a rough spot. hope you make the right choice for you and that it is one that you can live with. dont feel like you cant be a great mom because you have a wierd sex life. would you love this baby? or would you look at your child and just feel guilt because the sperm donor was not your husband?

just make sure you think things through. remember that men will come and go but you will always love your children. please make sure you do what is right for YOU, for now, for the future, for always. because once you choose you cant take it back.

hope i didnt come off as sounding preachy, but i had to make that choice once. if i could go back i would do it differently. your kids are ALWAYS more important than some guy you may or may not give a hoot about 2 years from now

*hugs*

i wish you the best

Anonymous said...

1640: I went back and read your other confession. Aren't you in love with this baby's father? Why can't you guys get into a relationship? Or, is he not interested in that? Like the other women, I'm shocked that you didn't use protection. Even though it is your choice, you shouldn't abort this baby because you made a mistake. At least give someone else the opportunity to raise a child they cannot conceive on their own. Hopefully next time (and to all of you in three-somes, four-somes, whatever) you will use condoms if not to prevent this from happening again, but to stop spreading disease. I hope you figure out what to do, because it's not fair to this baby.

Anonymous said...

1640: you are not alone. Your husband wants to raise this baby with you and be there for you. Where is the other guy? Do you feel alone because the other guy wants you to abort? Sounds like you have a loving husband that maybe you are taking for granted. ????

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Cheers

Anonymous said...

1634:
absolutely inspirational...

Anonymous said...

Email Me-
aolani_06@yahoo.com

I will listen.
callie

Anonymous said...

Confession #1634

You stopped me in my tracks this morning, thank you.

I wish you strength sister.

Anonymous said...

1632
I think it will work out great. Your husband will be able to find a younger, prettier wife, and you'll be pissing in your depends when loverboy is going through his midlife crisis. GO FOR IT!!!

Anonymous said...

1631:

My husband is verbally abusive too, and it is the worst form of abuse. I really feel for you. These are men who try to break us down and destroy our self-esteem, because they are insecure themselves. Remember that we are better than them. Good luck to you!

Anonymous said...

1634: Very nice, and very brave of you.

1637: How can you say "You have no rights to MY children, legally or otherwise" in one breath and then say "I hope you rot in jail for failing to pay child support" in another? I was always under the impression (and I could be wrong as laws vary by state) that a man paying child support would still get visitation unless they were a danger to the children. But that just sounds like a contradiction to me. I've no doubt that you're better off without him, especially if he verbally abuses you in front of the kids. But seems to me if you want no part of him in your life in any way, that means his money, too.

Anonymous said...

to 10:05
He has no rights because he couldn't even respond to the ppwk I sent. He's an alcoholic, drug addicted mess. He's never been physically abusive, and not a danger to the children. Paying or not paying Child Support does not give or take away your rights. The judge in my case required the Parenting Plan that is mandatory in my state, required him to take substance abuse classes before he can take me back to court and/or hire a mediator to regain visitation.
I had given him the benefit of the doubt, to see if he could indeed follow through with anything he said (being a parent, taking classes, paying CS, etc.). His last chance was wasted. He'll have to follow all the court rules from here on out.
Believe me, if I could financially make it without him, I would ask him to sign them over immediately. When I can, I will... but for now, if the garnishment comes in or anything, I will be in a slightly better position.
I wish he could be the father he should... but it's obvious now that he can't/won't.

Anonymous said...

1:18pm and 1:48pm, how dare you say something like that? You do not completely know this woman's situation. I thought this was a place for women to come and vent, to confess a safe place. Not to be harshly judged by catty women who have never walked a mile in these pples shoes. Shame on you!